The Bastard of Konoha
by Essence of Clotheslining
Summary: This is the story of a boy born to two philosophies, two clans, two walks of life. This is the story of an heir to both light and dark. This is the story of Eiji Hyuuga, the Bastard of Konoha. (So many changes to canon it should be considered AU. Pseudo-crossover with Ryu ga Gotoku/Yakuza.) Recently returned from hiatus.
1. Prologue: The Morning After

**A/N (Author's Note):** **So, I was reading through the Hyuga Clan's page on Narutopedia when I came across a bit of trivia. According to Kishimoto, if a Sharingan user and a Byakugan user were to have a child, that child would have one of each. The other piece of info that created this idea was Itachi saying that he had a lover at some point, a plot-point Kishimoto seemed to forget about. In this story, this lover is given an identity, and they have a child together. Of course, Itachi is older in this universe, and Hinata has an older sister, but aside from that, those are my only two initial changes: an increase in Itachi's age and a new character. I've thought about this idea for a long time, and my fanfiction-writing skills are super fucking rusty, but I think I've got what it takes to pull this off.**

 **Wish me luck,**

 **~The Cheesinator**

 **PS:** **Also, this chapter is much shorter than what the future chapters will be like, because this is just set-up.**

Itachi Uchiha was a conservative man. Not in terms of political views, simply in the way he did things. His mannerisms and behaviors. He dressed conservatively when he was not on duty, he spoke conservatively, he walked conservatively, he even ate conservatively. He also did everything on a specific routine. He would wake up, eat, go to work, come home, visit with Sasuke for a while, then go to sleep. He would wake up to the same ceiling, the same bedsheets, and the same nobody every morning.

Every morning, _except_ this morning.

This morning was different. This morning, he woke up to a far-larger bed than he was used to, in a far more luxurious room than he was accustomed to. His head was throbbing something fierce, too. It didn't feel like the aftereffects of poison, nor did it feel like an overuse of the Mangekyo Sharingan. He also noticed that he was wearing no clothing. He never slept in the nude.

This was very strange.

Even stranger was the hand on his left pectoral muscle. It wasn't his.

Said hand was attached to an arm, and the arm to a shoulder, and the shoulder to a woman.

A _naked_ woman.

Itachi's cheeks turned the color of his Sharingan as blood trickled from his nose.

She was gorgeous, no question there. Long, wavy purple hair. Flawless alabaster skin. A well-endowed chest and, if the curvature of the blankets were to be believed, wide, child-bearing hips. Her face was soft and somewhat rounded. She smiled in her sleep.

She was practically everything he had every wanted from a woman in terms of physical appearance.

What he was wondering, however, was who this woman was, how they got here, why they were here, and exactly where _here_ was.

The woman that had attached herself to Itachi stirred, lazily opening her eyes.

Itachi found himself staring back into two pale lavender Byakugan.

A Hyuga woman.

Uh oh.

She yawned, squeezing his muscular chest. "Good morning, Itachi. Sleep well?"

Her voice was gorgeous. He couldn't quite explain why he liked it so much, but he just did. Her voice dragged her name from his subconscious: Himawari. Sunflower.

She kissed his shoulder before scrunching up her forehead.. "Ugh, my head hurts like crazy. I can only imagine how you feel."

At the mention of his probably-a-hangover, his head pulsed. He felt like he was going to vomit.

He groaned, rolling over onto his left side, nearly smacking into Himawari.

She got a good look at his face then. his skin was pale and clammy, and he looked to be in extreme discomfort. She felt his forehead. "Oh, you look awful, and you're really clammy. Here, this should help."

She extended out her forefinger and middle-finger and tapped his forehead, injecting a large dose of chakra into one of the tenketsu connected to his brain. He instantly felt revitalized and the pain in his everywhere melted away.

She giggled. "Looks like that worked. You should see the look on your face."

He turned red.

She pursed her lips"Oh please, it's not any goofier-looking than that face you made when you climaxed."

He turned even brighter red.

She kissed his nose. "Relax. I was the only one who saw, and I think it was adorable."

In an instant, it all came flooding back. Them meeting in the Hot Springs, the trip to Tanzaku Town, the gambling, the drinking, then, finally, here. They had had so much fun together, and with her Byakugan and his Sharingan, they had really cleaned up. Unfortunately, he also remembered his face when he reached climax.

This was not his first time with a woman, but it was his first time with a woman that he had engaged in by choice. He had seduced multiple enemy kunoichi on orders from the Hokage for information to aid the ANBU and Konoha. It wasn't like he hadn't enjoyed his time with those kunoichi (especially those from Kumogakure), but that was purely physical. While his union with Himawari was likely founded in alcohol, he did feel a legitimate emotional connection with this woman. He felt like _ugvpserngvesiunhgbvreiodovfidnl-_

Himawari scrambled his thoughts with a kiss.

"You still in there? You just started staring off into space for a minute there."

He nodded.

She tapped his nose. Her fingernails were painted purple."You're quiet when you're sober."

Another nod, this one accompanied by a small chuckle.

"You're not when you're drunk, though."

A terrible thought struck Itachi like a lightning bolt."Did I say anything that sounded like it might have been classified information?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I think past a certain point, everyone in Tanzaku Town gets drunk. Even if you did reveal something, I'm quite certain people are too busy trying to fight off a migraine to care about classified ANBU intelligence."

He sighed, relieved.

Itachi stood up out of bed and looked around. This was definitely one of those places where strangers would meet and hook up. What did his father say they were called? Love hotels? That was it.

For being a love hotel, it was still equipped with what one might use to engage in activities that weren't sex (desk, fridge, coffee table, shower, etc), which was something he appreciated.

He searched for his clothing. He found it.

Himawari heard a loud, pained groan come from Itachi's direction.

"You alright?" She asked, concerned enough to worry but not enough to aim her question in Itachi's direction.

"Yes, but my clothing isn't. Did you have to shred it _this_ badly?"

She smiled wickedly, cackling mischievously. "It was in my way."

She heard footsteps over to the dresser. Then he spoke again. "I'd like to point out that your clothing is folded neatly and stowed in the dresser."

She sat up, baring her chest."You fail to realize that you're the only man in Konoha who's considerate enough to fold a lady's clothing for her."

He had enough decency to look away. "I can't be the only one."

She did not have the decency to look away. She stared straight at his crotch.

Itachi noticed and turned red in the face once more. He used the shredded remains of his mesh shirt in a feeble attempt to cover himself.

She licked her lips."You cock's too long to cover with that, Itachi. Even if it was, I could still see through it. I spent most of yesterday looking through your clothes."

He shifted awkwardly. Goddamn Byakugan.

Itachi walked over to the bathroom to shower.

Himawari rolled over towards the bathroom door. "Hey, all my friends talk about their boyfriends constantly trying to get in their pants. Ironic that when I finally shack up with a guy, he just so happens to be the most polite, well-mannered man in the world."

Himawari sat up and stretched, yawning. "What is it about women that they like jerks? Even I like jerks sometimes. I hate it."

Even over the loud pitter-patter of the shower, which was not inconsiderably loud, Itachi heard her well enough to respond. He raised his voice out of his usual breathy deadpan. "It's a confidence thing. Most men don't know how to display confidence and dominance in a subtle way, so they think the best way to display dominance over others is to degrade them. That can work if it's done with sufficient social precision and tact. It's more consistently useful to exude a sort of quiet confidence, though it's harder to pull off."

Himawari stood up out of bed, mischief on her mind. She activated her Byakugan and crept into the bathroom. "Oh? How would one do that?"

Itachi, eager to conversationally discuss the human mind with someone and having closed his eyes to wash his hair, didn't notice Himawari creeping up on him."Body language is a big part of it. Standing up straight with your shoulders back and legs pointed straight forward. Consistent eye contact is important as well, though too much can give people the impression that you're either threatening them or flirting with them. You should also remember-"

Itachi opened his eyes and saw Himawari step into the shower with him.

Blood dripped from Itachi's nose.

She smiled mischievously. "You should really get your nose checked. Might have a bleeding disorder."

His face contorted in a mixture of frustration, amusement, and very poorly concealed arousal. This woman was wonderfully annoying.


	2. Chapter 1: He's got Our Eyes

**A/N:** **I accidentally "signed" the prologue as "The Cheesinator." That's my handle on a lot of other things. Whoops.**

 **Sincerest apologies,**

 _ **~Essence of Clotheslining**_

Chapter 1: "He's got our eyes."

Fugaku Uchiha was a patient man. He put up with all the hatred from the rest of the Hidden Leaf. He put up with the accusations of his clan's involvement with the Nine-Tails' attack on their village. He managed a clan that was tearing apart at the seams. All of this, however, paled in comparison to the urgency he felt right now. He was becoming a grandfather at this very moment, and _wasn't allowed to leave the Hyuuga Estate until_ _ **the fucking legitimacy paperwork was filled out.**_

 _ **FUCK.**_

The Uchiha Clan patriarch shifted anxiously. He just wanted to see his grandchild, and he suspected the man sitting across from him, Hiashi, wanted to as well, but both were bound by the thrice-damned village elders to save face and borderline ignore the birth of their mutual grandson until he was official recognized as such. Hiruzen Sarutobi was a lot of things, but one thing he could be doing a better job of was washing away the ancient, confounding stigma against illegitimate children. It permeated Konohagakure's familial laws and policies and had even scared off one of the two Sannin that remained loyal to the village. Those laws needed to go.

On the topic of legally-binding document that were not favorable to Fugaku's current situation or the Uchiha on a whole, good _lord_ was this legitimacy document a huge loss for the Uchiha. His grandchild, Itachi's flesh and blood, would be born a Hyuuga. Kakashi Hatake, that prodigy of a jonin, would not be the one to teach the child when he, or she, graduated from the academy. Instead, that idiot from Kumogakure, Ryuji Inazuma, would be the one to teach the child the very fundamentals of being a ninja; a complete recipe for disaster. Worst of all, the slattern that had seduced his son would get off with only a slap on the wrist, while Itachi had to give up his eligibility for future clan patriarch. All those years of grooming him for the position-just gone.

Hiashi Hyuga looked anxious, but also quite victorious. For the reasons above, this was a massive victory for him and the Hyuga Clan.

Fugaku Uchiha signed the last document that required signing. "Here, Hiashi. Can we go see our grandchild now?"

Hiashi smiled smugly. " _My_ grandchild, you mean?"

Fugaku waved his hand dismissively. "They will be just as much me as you."

Hiashi chuckled. "He's mine legally."

Fugaku stood up, brushing himself off and grabbing his cloak from a coat-hook on the wall.

"Yes, I'm sure you're very happy about a Hyuuga with a Sharingan, now can we leave please?"

Hiashi shook his head. "I'll be done in a moment."

Fugaku squirmed in his seat, thinking of his children.

Hiashi stared intently at the mountain of paperwork ahead of him, scribbling away with speed and precision that could only be afforded by an activated Byakugan. "Contrary to what it may seem like, Fugaku, I do want to go see my grandchild as soon as I am able. Hinata made me promise to wake her up and bring her along when I was ready to leave, and I doubt I'll hear the end of it from her mother if we never get there."

Fugaku ground his teeth. "Then would you mind moving a bit _faster,_ perhaps? If not for my sake, then for _your_ family's?"

Hiashi held up a hand, not looking away from the papers. "Fifteen more minutes, please."

Fugaku groaned. "Remind me why we could not have done this earlier?"

"Because you wanted my daughter charged with adultery, and I would not accept those terms until you changed them last week."

"Did she not commit that crime?"

"I believe it is more likely that your son seduced her."

Fugaku slammed his fist down on the table. "Hiashi, I swear I-"

"Quiet please."

Fugaku sat there, steaming. This was going to be a long fifteen minutes.

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha sat on a bench outside the hospital room that contained his brother and his girlfriend, still in his pajamas and gripping his stuffed panda as tightly as a sleepy toddler could. His brother was taking a very long time, and between his anxiety and the screaming of a woman in the throes of giving birth coming from the room to his left, he couldn't fall asleep.

He looked at the clock on the wall across from him.

2:37 A.M.

They'd been here for three hours now. He was starting to think that meeting his nibling could wait until tomorrow, or, more accurately, later this morning.

He heard a male voice coming from the room, muffled by the thick wall. Probably a doctor. "Please, Ms. Hyuuga, breath."

Next, a woman's voice. A very, _very_ angry woman's voice. "Doc, if you tell me to breath one more time in that patronizing tone I will overload the tenketsu where the sun don't shine with so much chakra you'll have explosive diarrhea for a yea-AAAGGHH!"

He heard his brother next. "Hima, look me in the eyes: _Breath._ "

The screaming subsided, replaced by calm breathing.

The doctor spoke again, sounding relieved. "Thank you. Mr. Uchiha."

Sasuke heard a yelp then felt a bump against the wall behind him.

His brother spoke again. "If your incompetence forces me to perform a genjutsu on the mother of my child again, I swear to any deity that's listening that I will trap you in a loop of the scenario she described, but much worse, for upwards of a decade. You are to improve the quality of your care or find someone else who can. Are we clear?"

Silence.

Itachi again. "Good. I'm glad we could come to an understanding."

Feet hit the floor.

The doctor calmly exited the room, then broke into a sprint after passing Sasuke in the hallway.

The lack of screaming allowed Sasuke to finally fall asleep. He turned on his side and curled his knees up to his chin.

He dreamt of tomato soup.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

* * *

He felt a large hand gently shaking his shoulder.

Sasuke opened his eyes slightly. The clock on the wall across from him said 5:48 A.M. Sunlight was beginning to creep in through the windows. He also noticed that he was laying on his father's lap. Finally, he noticed that the screaming stopped.

"Sasuke. Wake up, son."

He turned over and looked upward at his father, then back towards the door to the hospital room. A new doctor stood there. A woman, this time.

His father smiled. Sasuke hadn't seen him this happy in a long time. "The doctor is saying we can see the baby now. Would you like to go in with us?"

Sasuke nodded as enthusiastically as a sleepy toddler could.

His father's grin widened. He set Sasuke down and grabbed his hand, leading him into the Hospital room behind Hiashi Hyuuga and his daughter, Hinata.

Itachi was sitting next to the bed, staring intently at a bundle of blankets in Himawari's arms with bloodshot eyes accented by heavy bags. In spite of being awake for a good eighteen hours straight, both she and Itachi were grinning ear to ear. Himawari was crying tears of joy.

"May I see him?" Itachi requested quietly. He was almost whispering.

Himawari nodded and passed the small bundle over to Itachi.

Sasuke broke free of his father's grip and ran up to his brother's side, hoping to catch a glimpse of his nephew.

He was so incredibly _small_. His skin was pale and he had surprisingly thick shock of purple-black hair. His face possessed a great deal of Hyuuga traits, but when Sasuke looked at him, all he could think of was how similar he was to Itachi, even as a newborn. Sasuke had difficulty understanding that this was a human being. For all the talk he heard about babies crying almost nonstop, this one was remarkably quiet.

"Is he okay?" Sasuke whispered to his brother.

Itachi nodded, keeping his eyes focused on his son. "Yes. According to the doctor, he's very healthy for being born a few weeks early. Peed all over the nurses when he came out."

Sasuke cocked his head to the side, confused. "But he's not crying."

Itachi laughed. "Some babies don't cry very much."

Itachi then turned to look at Himawari. "For someone that's half you, I expected him to be a great deal louder."

That broke the tension in the room. Most people cracked up. Sasuke didn't really get it, instead focusing on the baby.

Himawari, half-crying and half-laughing, leaned over and kissed the back of Itachi's head. "Well, he's half you too."

While his brother and Himawari were being gross, the baby opened its eyes.

"Uh, Itachi? He opened his eyes."

Itachi's head snapped back towards his child. Two small, round eyes stared back curiously. One was pure white, and the other was pitch black.

Tears streamed down Itachi's face.

"Good morning, Eiji." Itachi whispered, kissing his son's face.

Eiji looked very confused by this gesture, not understanding the significance of what had just happened.

Fugaku coughed. "I'd like to see the person the whole village got so worked up over now, Itachi."

Himawari glared at him. "If you so much as look at him funny. I'll tear you to shreds, Fugaku."

Sasuke had never seen his father look afraid before. It was subtle, but it was there.

"I'll be careful." Fugaku assured her.

"You better." Himawari grumbled as Itachi passed his son gently to his father.

Fugaku held Eiji and examined him carefully. "Huh. One byakugan."

Fugaku looked over to the doctor. "Does this mean he'll have a Sharingan as well?"

The doctor shrugged and shook her head. "The Sharingan is a dominant trait, yes?"

Fugaku nodded.

"Does your wife have the Sharingan as well?"

Fugaku nodded again.

"Then yes, he will have the Sharingan."

Fugaku nodded, then turned his attention back to his grandson. "Now, if you're anything like your parents, you'll grow into a very powerful shinobi. You'll need to be responsible enough to handle all of that power. If your other grandfather is any indication, I have confidence that the Hyuuga will be able to provide that. They can teach you how to be a good man, and we can teach you how to use the Sharingan when it activates."

Hiashi grinned. Sasuke yawned.

Himawari pointed to Hinata. "Would you mind letting the little squirt see? She hasn't said anything, but while you've been lecturing a baby, she's been standing on her toes to try and see her nephew."

Fugaku huffed indignantly before passing Eiji to Hiashi, who in turn lifted Hinata up into his lap with his free arm.

Hiashi smiled warmly at Hinata and held Eiji in front of her. "This is your nephew, Hina. Say hello."

Hinata looked curiously at Eiji but didn't touch him. Eiji looked back at her with similar curiosity. Hinata blushed and giggled, wrapping her small arms around Eiji. He giggled and sputtered happily, much in the way infants only can.

Hiashi rubbed Hinata's back. "Seems like he likes you."

Hinata shrinked away awkwardly. She didn't respond very well to compliments.

Sasuke had heard his parents arguing late into the night about conflicts with the Hyuuga and other leading clans. If what he'd seen tonight was any indication, the future looked brighter than it ever had before. He squeezed his brother tightly, who finally broke into full-on happy-crying. The rest of the room followed suite.

 _It's almost funny how horribly, tragically wrong he was, how wrong they all were. Things were about to get very bad, very quickly._

* * *

 **A/N:** These chapters will get longer and longer as I get back into the swing of things and get used to writing longer and longer things. In regards to the story, however, get ready for a timeskip. And yes, "nibling" is a word. It's a gender-neutral noun for the child of one's sibling.


	3. Chapter 2: The Hyuuga Affair

**A/N:** I should probably start mentioning that I don't own Naruto. I do, however, own a nice shiny PS4 with which I can play Bloodborne and Yakuza too much and get yelled at by my parents.

Oops.

PS4 is now gone.

Fuck.

* * *

Chapter 2: The Hyuuga Affair

Hiashi awoke with a start. He'd heard a long string of curse words, then an explosion, coming from Eiji's room. He was well acquainted with infants crying in the middle of the night, but explosions and strings of curses were still foreign to him.

He rushed down to Eiji's room. The boy was gone, and there was a massive hole in the wall where the paneling had been blown to pieces. Hiashi had blown holes in many walls before. This was not like those times. Instead of someone merely creating a hole in the wall of a building, this was an instance of a well-constructed, well-fortified and insulated wall becoming a hole in the building.

Himawari had done this.

Hiashi frowned and activated his Byakugan, deciding to perform some chakra-based forensics.

He frowned. He found traces of his daughter's chakra on the splintered wood of what used to be the wall, and, much more disconcertingly, he found traces of chakra belonging to Shigeru, the diplomat from Kumogakure, near Eiji's bed, which, along with the infant's bizarrely potent chakra. All of the chakra traces led out of the hole that used to be a wall.

He channeled more chakra to his eyes and scanned the village. He found Eiji quickly enough. That child was more chakra than human being. Not that he wasn't a full human being, he absolutely was, he just had _so much more chakra_. All of his daughters were like that to an extent, but not in the same way Eiji was, and it was likely a result of his mixed heritage. This made him easy to locate and track for someone with the right tools. Unfortunately, this meant seeing something that confirmed what he had well and truly wished to be false: Shigeru appeared to be attempting to escape Konohagakure with a squad of fellow Kumo ninja at his sides in formation and Eiji under his arm. Himawari was in pursuit and catching up quickly. Her chakra flared with rage and maternal protective instincts which, in spite of the situation, made him swell with pride.

Until he realized what she would likely do to the Kumo ninja when she inevitably caught up with them.

That realization in mind, he ran as fast as his sleepy legs could carry him to catch up with his daughter and help her retrieve Eiji without killing Shigeru and his band of spies.

* * *

Himawari grit her teeth in frustration as she pursued her son's kidnappers.

 _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. The_ one _night I decide to sleep alone. I never should have left Eiji alone like that. That'll be the last time I let Itachi talk me into sleeping better. He's getting angry revenge sex when he gets back._

She was not to blame, nor was Itachi, but it was difficult for the young mother to see that through the rage and bloodlust that clouded her thoughts. If anything, the rage and bloodlust made the concept of revenge sex more appealing.

She refocused her Byakugan on Shigeru, killing intent surging wildly. He and his gang were now within her line of sight, but they had almost made it to the village gates. She growled and redoubled her efforts, leaping into the air with a twirl and aiming herself at the Kumo spy. She recalled her time as a Genin, and recalled the jutsu her teacher had taught to her and that white-haired pervert Jiraiya, being the only two ninja aside from him with sufficient chakra control and chakra reserves that he had entrusted the jutsu with.

 _Time to make them hurt._

Veins appeared near her eyes as she began to spin in the air.

" **Sixty-Four Trigrams: Palm Rotation Rasengan!** " She shouted, initiating a unique hybrid jutsu she had created in collaboration with the Yellow Flash, when he was still alive.

She expelled chakra from every tenketsu in her body, shaping it with skillful hands upon its dispersal so as to surround herself in a single giant rasengan. The usage of the technique after its formation followed the same principle as the Inuzuka Clan's Fang over Fang, but was much more variable in its use and required much greater chakra reserves and even greater chakra control. It could be used as a transportation jutsu if the _shunshin_ was unavailable by speeding across the ground like a top, it could be used to deflect any and all types of projectile jutsu (and even function as a projectile jutsu itself), and it could even be used for construction projects, like the digging of a new well.

Now, however, it was used the way it was meant to be used: to protect a loved one by shredding an enemy to tiny little gooey pieces.

She hit the ground and sped forward at absurd speeds, spending dirt and dust flying as she flew towards the Kumo spies at absurd speeds.

Now, to best describe what happened next, it would be best if the author did his best to describe the mechanics behind the jutsu Himawari had used, the jutsu it was derived from, and what all three jutsu did to human beings. The author will now press the pause button on the only cool thing to happen in the story so far.

Interrupting a cool thing for science.

What a good idea.

That'll get reviews.

Ahem.

The Hyuuga Clan jutsu that her jutsu is based on is Eight Trigrams: Palm Rotation. That jutsu involves a Hyuuga Clan member expelling chakra and rotating fast enough to deflect nearly any attack. The rotation itself can (and does, in the case of a master like Himawari) move at roughly 1200 kilometers per hour, or about 747 miles per hour. They expel chakra while doing this as well, meaning that they are expelling enough chakra to create what functions as a wall moving at 1200 kph/roughly 750 mph. This is roughly 1094 feet per second. An object moving at 502 mph generates 20 PSI, or pounds-per-square-inch. 20 psi is enough to tear apart and destroy most concrete structures.

Next, we'll examine the Rasengan: Minato Namikaze's little ball of highly-concentrated pain. Step one involves spinning and rotating chakra into a spiral. Next, they increase the power and concentration of the chakra they are using to form the orb. Lastly a shell of stronger chakra is created in order to contain the storm within. Actual math aside, this jutsu is strong enough to send even the Nine-Tailed Fox reeling, which is a being of such tremendous power it is fully capable of levelling mountains through sheer physical power.

Himawari Hyuuga, by far the least "Hyuuga" of the Hyuuga Clan, managed to see the similarities and points of compatibility of both jutsu and combine them into one: Sixty-Four Trigrams: Palm Rotation Rasengan. Himawari being Minato's best friend and being of similar skill, or complete lack thereof, in nomenclature, she only named the jutsu as such because she thought "Sixty-Four Trigrams" sounded better than "Eight Trigrams," not knowing what a "trigram" truly was when she named it. She was, for all her faults, a genius in her own right; truly a woman after Minato's own heart, and had his not belonged to Kushina Uzumaki, and hers not to Itachi Uchiha, and were the two not nearly fifteen years apart in age, they likely would have become a unit.

Time to un-pause the action scene.

Back on track.

The following paragraph occurred in less than one second.

Himawari leapt forward from the human-sized globe of death and snatched her son from Shigeru's arms. She channeled chakra to her legs and jumped to a nearby rooftop, evading the aforementioned globe of death. Shigeru and co. were not so lucky. Shigeru, being at the epicenter of the ball of chakra, got it the worst. He wasn't just killed. He was shredded into hamburger, the shreds were then liquefied, then the liquid was, in turn, vaporized. Not only was he killed, he ceased to exist. The two Kumo ninja closest to him were liquefied. The three near the exterior of the formation were shredded to meaty bits, and the last two were sent flying, one into the village gate and the other into the sky, never again to be seen by ninja of neither Kumogakure nor Konohagakure. His corpse would later be found near one of the entrances to Otogakure and used as a case study for the effects of highly-concentrated, fast-moving chakra on the human body, and it would give many of Orochimaru's greener students nightmares. Even later during one of Taka's trips to the hideout, be used as the basis of a cruel prank Suigetsu Hozuki would pull on Karin Uzumaki, which would, somehow, lead to their first child, and, in turn, to the following six, who would then become the new Seven Swords(wo)men of Kirigakure, and go on to fight a grown-up Eiji and all six of his other selves all at once and lose spectacularly.

Such was the way of fate.

Himawari looked down at her son. He was crying, as to be expected, but he was otherwise unharmed. She appreciated that the late Shigeru had the decency to not harm a child. Had he lacked it, she would have lacked a similar mercy for his entire family.

NO ONE messed with her baby.

She kissed his forehead lightly, soothing him with an injection of chakra. The feeling of his mother's life-essence permeating his being calmed him greatly.

"Shh, sweetheart. Mommy's here."

"And so is grandfather."

She turned around to meet her father's eyes.

She yawned, rocking Eiji back and forth. "Evening, dad."

He yawned back before grimacing. "Could you have at least left something to give back to Kumogakure?" He questioned tiredly, gesturing to the gruesome scene at the village gates. Blood, gore, and shredded cloth had splattered the entire area.

She shrugged. "Honestly, I'm a bit disappointed in myself. I should have gotten them all."

"You _do_ realize that you just broke the contract of his visit, Himawari."

It was not a question.

She stared daggers at her father. "He tried to kidnap my son."

"Without the perpetrator alive, we have no proof. With no body, we have no evidence."

She pointed to the one remaining Kumo ninja. "He's still alive. Let's see what we can squeeze out of him."

Hiashi was legitimately shocked, and, ashamedly, more than a little proud, at the utter brutality and ruthlessness his daughter could exhibit towards the people who threatened her son. "He's from Kumogakure. Odds are, he'll die before we get any information from him."

She shook her head. "Not if we get Itachi to use Tsukuyomi on him."

 _Good lord._

He pinched the bridge of his nose, scrunching up his forehead and closing his eyes. "You are terrifying sometimes."

"Yeah? Take a shot at my son, this is what happens." She stated bluntly, motioning to the carnage near the village gates.

Hiashi chuckled. "In spite of the circumstances, I think I'm even more proud of you than I've ever been before."

Himawari grinned and hugged her father with her free arm. "Thanks, pops."

Eiji giggled and burbled happily, as babies are wont to do.

* * *

 **A/N:** "Ya gotta set shit up before ya knock shit down."

~My response to being asked why I was building a house of cards. I actually talk like that.

I'd like to take a minute and say that Google Chrome's autocorrect wanted me to change "Suigetsu" to "sweatsuit." That is all.

On a side note, does anyone feel like drawing Eiji and/or his mom? I'm a student with no money, so I can't pay you, but I can give you a very detailed description of what they look like and provide reference material, so long as you don't mind spoilers for what Eiji will look like for Part 2/Shippuden.

Lots of smarmy, sarcastic love to (as of this writing) all ten of you following this,

 _~Essence of Clotheslining._


	4. Chapter 3: Adventures in Motherhood

**A/N:** I don't own Naruto. I do own twenty-six ponytail bands. Most are MIA. The rest are in my hair right now. It's up to you to decide how many exactly.

* * *

Chapter 3: Adventures in Mothering

The Konoha Supermarket, like the Konoha Department Store, had a sale every year. From June 20th-June 22nd, parents would rush from work to the market to stock up on non-perishable goods and get perishable items for as low as one-tenth of the normal price. The Hyuuga Clan participated heavily in this sale, as did most other clans in the village. They would send large squads of ninja out to the store with chakra-infused single-use salinated eye-drops and chakra pills so they could use their Byakugan to find the best prices on the best goods. It was usually wise for people to stay clear of the Hyuuga when their dedicated shoppers, humorously dubbed "shopping-nin" by the store's employees, arrived.

That said, people are not wise, and the Hyuuga shopping-nin had to fight through a tide of other Konoha denizens. Among them was Himawari Hyuuga. As was so often the case, she had put off doing something she needed to do until the very last minute. In this case, it was buying a cake for her son's third birthday, which was, God help her, today: June 20th. She also had to take four small children with her to said store.

It was quite a sight to behold: Himawari Hyuuga with Naruto Uzumaki, Hinata Hyuuga, and Sasuke Uchiha all in-tow. Eiji was sitting in the shopping cart.

If you had told any onlookers at the time that they were looking at what would become two of the three Next-Gen Sannin and four of the five most powerful ninja in the world, they would have simply laughed, because they would be looking at one of the most powerful ninja in the village attempting to wrangle the nine-tails jinchuuriki with one arm, push the cart with the other, and order the last Uchiha and current Hyuuga heiress around to grab things from the shelf and drop them in the cart.

Himawari sighed tiredly, desperately trying to keep Naruto nearby. He was a good kid, and far smarter than people gave him credit for, but he had no discipline. No self control. She couldn't blame him for that, his parents were gone, so he had no one to tame him for his first few years, but she still wished he tired out easier.

Naruto ran off again, deciding to inspect a unique-shaped fruit.

She snapped her fingers. "Naruto!"

His head snapped in her direction, and he ran back to her side. He looked down at his shoes. "Sorry, Auntie Hima."

She smiled tiredly, tousling the golden mess atop his head. "It's alright. Just please stay near the cart. If you don't wander off again, I'll take us by Ichiraku's on the way home."

Naruto's face lit up. "Yay!"

Sasuke groaned. "Really? Again?"

Himawari sighed, exhausted by yet another sideways complaint. "I'm sure they serve soup or salad as well, Sasuke."

"And if they don't?"

Himawari held up a hand. "Sasuke, not now."

Sasuke exhaled loudly, rubbing the back of his head. "Fine."

Naruto pointed enthusiastically to the cart. "Can I sit in the cart?"

Himawari grinned. "I don't see why not."

Hinata tugged on her sister's shirt and pointed over to a sign on the wall. "But Hima, there's a sign over there that says you can't put kids in the cart."

Himawari chuckled. "You need to learn how to bend the rules a little, squirt."

Hinata pressed her lips together in concern, but forgot all about it when she saw how ecstatic Naruto was.

She looked back at her older sister. Village gossips said so many awful things about her. They said she was a promiscuous pervert that had seduced Itachi Uchiha in order to have him murder his clan. They said she sympathized with the Nine-Tails, and that's why she had taken in its jinchuuriki (another S-Rank secret Hinata was privy to as Hyuuga heiress). They said she was a pedophile who had taken an interest in Sasuke for his resemblance to his older brother.

Hinata dismissed those claims, as did most of her clan. Her mother had the kindness to take in two boys without families, and had the strength of will to raise said boys even when they came to blows nearly every day. She had the patience to deal with Naruto's invincible messes and Sasuke's constant barrage of sarcastic and negative comments about anyone and everyone, even her.

She did all this while completing B and A-rank missions on a weekly basis.

In Hinata's eyes, this woman was a saint, and the most skilled mother in the world.

Well, maybe not a saint. Her average response to a cat call or similar lewd comment was a barrage of Gentle Fist strikes to the crotch, leaving the man in question unable to get physically aroused for months.

Humorously enough, this is how she met Jiraiya. When he recovered, Tsunade was feeling sad about Dan Kato after getting drunk again, and the two shared a night of drunken passion together, both of them desperate for sex for two very different reasons. This led to the conception of the only other person in the world who naturally possessed the right genes for Wood Style, and would later help win the Fourth Shinobi World War, and even later revive the Senju Clan.

Such was the way of fate.

* * *

Much later in the evening, they had finished shopping and were exiting the store.

Himawari removed a large scroll from her back and laid it out on the ground.

"Kids, would you mind lining the groceries up on the scroll?"

"I'll get more than Sasuke!" Naruto shouted enthusiastically, immediately reaching for the largest items of food he could find: a crate of instant ramen nearly as large as he was.

Sasuke scoffed at Naruto, grabbing a small bundle of tomatoes. "Moron. Grab stuff that you can carry."

"I can carry this! The future Hokage needs to be strong."

Sasuke laid out the tomatoes on the scroll. "Pfft. If you become Hokage, I'm moving to a different village."

Naruto grunted as he tried to lift up the crate of ramen. Hinata came to his aid.

Naruto grit his teeth. "Thanks, Hinata."

Hinata turned tomato red.

Himawari smiled, examining the two. Hinata was obviously head-over-heels for the boy. She'd try and push that along as best she could, but Hinata had to do most of it herself if she wanted a good relationship out of it. Then again, they were just kids. They had time to figure it out.

Eiji looked to his mother. "Could I help too, mom?"

Himawari swelled with pride. Eiji had just started talking recently. He'd gone from almost nothing to fully-formed, multisyllabic sentences. She had one smart kid. She suspected that to be the Itachi in him.

"Sure, sweetie."

He grinned ear-to-ear, adorably mismatched eyes sparkling, and started stacking items atop the box that held his cake. Then, he did the same for another box containing more instant ramen. He then lifted both stacks, one with each arm, and carried them over to the scroll like it weighed as much as a feather.

The other kids stopped and stared. A three-year-old had just lifted about fifty pounds.

Eiji hadn't done anything like that before. Himawari activated her Byakugan and examined her son carefully. What she saw confused her greatly. He was somehow managing to channel his chakra before he even knew what a chakra was.

Naruto dropped the crate onto the scroll and ran over to Eiji, preparing for a high-five. "Wow, Eiji! I didn't know you were that strong."

Eiji cocked his head to the side. "I thought that was normal. That isn't normal?"

Sasuke continued loading the groceries onto the scroll. "Yeah, a three-year old lifting almost twice their weight is normal. Pull that in the academy and they'll think you're juicing like the Akimichi Clan."

Eiji's eyes widened. Naruto punched Sasuke in the nose.

Naruto growled. "You prick!"

Sasuke growled, reaching for Naruto's throat. "Idiot!"

Himawari stiffened. Time to shut this down.

She grabbed each boy by the collar and lifted them up in the air, holding them apart.

She looked to Naruto accusingly. "Naruto, we **do not punch our friends or use foul language.** "

Naruto huffed.

Sasuke snickered.

Her head snapped to Sasuke. "Sasuke, do you know what Chakra control is?"

He nodded.

"Good. Then you know that Hyuuga and Uchiha both have a natural affinity for it?"

He nodded again.

"Good. You know how you've always been good at ninjutsu?"

Sasuke looked away, understanding where this was leading.

"Well, it looks like Eiji is good at chakra control. This is very rare and special, not abnormal, just like your skill in ninjutsu. Understood?"

Sasuke nodded sullenly.

She dropped the two of them. "Are we good?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. "Yeah, we're good."

Sasuke averted his eyes from Himawari and nodded.

Himawari patted both boys on the head affectionately. "Good. Now, who wants a fuinjutsu demonstration?"

Naruto raised his hand enthusiastically and bounced on his toes. "Me!"

Sasuke said nothing, but he appeared interested.

Hinata and Eiji both nodded quietly.

Himawari nodded, putting her hands together. "Now, we have everything on the scroll, right?"

Naruto nodded, excited. "Yep!"

"Okay then, watch carefully. Those of you with the Byakugan, watch my chakra carefully."

Hinata and Eiji complied, veins appearing near Eiji's left eye and both of Hinata's.

She flicked through a few hand signs before placing her hand on the scroll. "Sealing jutsu!"

In a puff of smoke, all the food disappeared and became drawings on the scroll.

Himawari began rolling the scroll up. "See that? We just sealed a ton of food into a little scroll."

Naruto's eyes widened. "That's awesome!"

Hinata had seen her sister do this before. It wasn't quite as cool as it had been the first time, but it was still a very useful technique.

Himawari latched the scroll shut and strapped it to her back.

She motioned for the small band of children to follow her. "Alright, munchkins. Let's go home."

They obliged.

* * *

Rain assaulted the windows of Himawari's home. It was a small but luxurious two-bedroom apartment that she had acquired as a reward for her first S-Rank mission after she became a Jonin. She had used it as an investment property up until she had decided to foster Naruto and Sasuke. He father wouldn't allow her to bring Naruto into the Hyuuga Estate, but had actively encouraged her to do so for Sasuke. Wanting to take them both in, Naruto to honor Minato's memory and Sasuke because if she and Itachi had been married, he would have gone to her, and both of which because they were kids that needed a home.

And so, Himawari was now an active Jonin and the single mother of three.

It was 11:43 P.M., Hinata was safely back at the Hyuuga Estate, the kids were in their respective beds, and she was laying on the living room couch, reading her favorite pervert's first book: The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi.

Terrible title.

Badass book.

Even more badass author.

She smiled to herself, dog-earing the page and setting it down on the short table in front of the couch. She stood up and walked over to the fridge, removing a slice of the cake.

She bit into it, leaving traces of chocolate cake and cream cheese frosting on her cheeks.

Her son had damn good taste.

Across the room, the phone began to ring. Not wanting to have to deal with a bunch of hyperactive small children, she sped across the room and answered the phone.

"Hello?"She answered through the cake.

"Himawari? Is that you?"

It was the Third Hokage.

"Sandaime? It's really late. You need something?" She asked, wiping the cake from her face.

"Call me Hiruzen."

"Alright. You need something?"

He sighed. "Yes, yes. I wanted to thank you again for agreeing to foster Naruto and Sasuke."

"No need to. They're wonderful."

"Really?" Hiruzen sounded surprised.

"Well, Sasuke can be difficult and Naruto has way too much energy for his own good, if you're asking me to complain."

"No, no, it's just there are some things you should know about the both of them."

"I know that Naruto is the jinchuuriki of the Nine-Tails and that he is the son of Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki."

"Uhh, how do you know that?"

"Everyone but his generation knows that he's the jinchuuriki of the Nine-tails, and anyone that can sense chakra can see that he's more chakra than human being."

Hiruzen groaned. "Fair enough. How do you know about Minato?"

"Minato was my teacher and my friend. The two look so similar that I'm surprised Naruto hasn't figured it out yet, and who ever heard of a blonde Uzumaki?"

Hiruzen mumbled a few less-than-polite words. "I'll have to talk to the rest of the people trusted with these secrets."

"You do that. What were you going to say about Sasuke?"

Hiruzen sighed again. "When we evaluated him for the academy, we found that he has frequent homicidal ideation focused on on Itachi Uchiha."

Himawari groaned, resting her forehead in her hand. "How bad is it?"

"It's focused exclusively on Itachi."

Himawari frowned. "That doesn't make it better."

"We also have more intel on Itachi."

...

"Himawari? Are you ther-"

"Speak."

"We found that he has joined an organization known as the Akatuski."

Silence.

"And that he has become...involved with one of its leaders." Hiruzen admitted, sounding very tired.

...

"Himawari?"

"Is that all?"

Another sigh. "Yes, Himawari. I'm sorry."

"No you're not." She hissed, hanging up.

She huffed and sat down on the couch. That slut that Itachi hooked up with better be way uglier than she was.

* * *

Konan looked into the window of the home belonging to the ex-lover of Itachi Uchiha from atop the village walls.

She heard a gravelly voice next to her. "Mmm, nice tits on that one."

Unfortunately, Kisame was with her.

The shark-man in question turned to Konan. "Why'd we come here again?"

 _Idiot._ "This woman used to be romantically involved with Itachi Uchiha."

Kisame nodded and stuck out his lower lip. "He's got good taste.

"If you encounter her in the field, you are not to engage her in combat."

Kisame cocked his head to the side. "Wait, aren't you and Itachi fucking now? Wouldn't you want this chick dead?"

 _Patience, Konan._ "To the contrary. I'd like to try and recruit her."

"Now I'm even more confused. Didn't the boss say he wanted you to be the only woman in the Akatsuki? And didn't we only recruit rogue ninja?"

"She's a powerful ninja that knew Minato Namikaze. If we get her to join, she might be able to tell us where the Nine-Tailed Fox is. Then she dies."

Kisame's eyes widened. "Oh."

"Yes. 'Oh' indeed. I intend to approach her some time in the future and attempt to recruit her. In the meantime, if you and Itachi are here in Konoha on a mission, you are not to engage her under any circumstances. If she engages you, retreat."

He nodded. "Understood."

"Good."

The two disappeared into the night.

* * *

 **A/N:** The focus will shift to Eiji eventually. Himawari is a key character, though, and one of the most important people in his life, so she effects who he is to a massive degree.

Also, Himawari's Action-y Theme (also stolen from the Ryu ga Gotoku Ishin OST): youtube watch?v=kmuvsVrdMbE

Lastly, check out the forum Hokage Tower. The Admin's a nice guy/lady named Tessela.

Here's the link: fanfiction . net myforums/Tessela/3141888/


	5. Chapter 4: Adventures in Brotherhood

**A/N:** I don't own Naruto. I do own a lot of stupid t-shirts.

Got a review I want to address.

Scarease: (In response to Chapter 2)

 _One after becoming genin you are seen as a adult ,two the child would like have doujitsu that would be a blend two not left eye right eye .other possibility would be the eyes able to change between the two._

 _Option would be a byakugan that has the sharingan toma's._

 _Politcally the child would be used as the middiater ,mean to fortify create stronger alliance,or as leason or such get training from both clans ._

I know about Mendelian genetics. There's something called incomplete dominance, where both are expressed. Normally it would be a blend of the two, as you said, but we'll get to that. Hyuuga are born with their dojutsu already activated. Uchiha aren't. Might have to take something traumatic for ocular symmetry to occur.

As for what Eiji's going to be used for, he WAS going to be used for that, and they planned out a curriculum for teaching him, but then the village elders ordered the Uchiha clan to the chopping block and that all went to shit, so now Sasuke's the only one left to teach him the Uchiha stuff. See, they have more conservative views on children born out of wedlock, as does the majority of the village, which means they didn't understand the value of Eiji as a peacemaking mechanism. And even if they did, the rest of the village hated the Uchiha. If their hatred of Naruto tells us anything, it's that Konoha has a very dumb general population. They don't discriminate where they should, and discriminate where they shouldn't.

Also, buddy, I'm sorry if English isn't your first language, but please work on that spelling and grammar if you want others to take you seriously, as I have. If you weren't my second review, I would have likely bypassed yours in favor of one that pointed out the same issues with coherency and good grammar. That said, thanks for bringing those up. I really need a beta reader.

Anyone want to beta-read this/have ideas bounced off them?

Moving on, now we're getting to Eiji as a sapient human being, I'd like to briefly explain a few things about where is strength comes from. It's Chakra-Enhanced Strength, like Tsunade uses, but he doesn't know how to turn it off yet. He tires out a lot quicker than other kids because of it. He's been using it for a while, it's just that Himawari, being more than a bit absentminded, didn't notice until the last chapter. He's got something of a lid on it now, but not enough to keep from accidentally breaking things. I'd liken it to him having to treat everything like it's made of tissue paper until he learns how to control his chakra properly. He'll explain all of that too.

Sorry about that wall of text. On with the bad plot!

 _~Essence of Clotheslining_

* * *

Chapter 4:Adventures in Brotherhood.

Eiji looked at himself in the mirror. He tried to dress well as a general rule, but the way he dressed definitely conveyed a fair amount of social anxiety. Black pants were left untucked and loosened from the typical shinobi sandals that covered all but his toes. A wide black obi kept his pants at his waist, protected his stomach, and allowed him to carry around ninja tools without them slipping from his pockets. Eiji consistently wore too many layers for whatever the weather was, and today was no exception. Today, it was a long purple-black hoodie with kimono sleeves that was several sizes too big (his mother purchased it thinking he'd grow into it within the month; suffice it to say she was wrong) with the Hyuuga clan heraldry proudly emblazoned on the hoodie's back. Beneath the hoodie was a more appropriately-sized v-neck dark blue t-shirt with the _Ba Gua_ on the chest. Around his neck was a small moonstone (one of his three birthstones) pendant, given to him on his first birthday by his father. His hair was long and fell down past his waist, covering up the right half of his face and a great deal of his torso. This led to frequent zipper-related accidents and more than a few people assuming that he couldn't see anything with his right eye. They were wrong. Styling his hair this way a forced him to use his Byakugan. Sure, it got tiring, but using the Byakugan so much let him increase his chakra reserves, something he desperately needed to do. It also kept him from seeing through people's clothing, . His natural reserves were incredibly large, but he used it all up so fast because he couldn't turn off his chakra-enhanced everything. Until they found a solution, he had to take chakra pills every few hours or he'd fall asleep.

Never before had enhanced physicality been so damned _troublesome_.

* * *

Shikamaru Nara woke himself up with a sneeze. He then looked at the clock on his bedside table, and went back to sleep. His missing school today and the subsequent lecture would lead his father to rant about everything that frustrated him about Shikamaru, and he would focus a disproportionate amount of time on his seeming lack of interest in Konoha women. Given the way teens and preteens work, this would later encourage him to get involved with Temari, a Sand Village ninja, who Shikamaru would grow to care about so much that he'd seek lessons from an adult Eiji on how to pleasure the lady in his life better (a service sought out by many men), which would lead to their second child, who would be named after Eiji with a female variant of said name, Eiko, in honor of his revitalizing their marriage.

Such was the way of fate.

* * *

In his opinion, he looked really cool. Unfortunately, when the only person evaluating your appearance aside from yourself is your mother, and both of you legitimately agree that you look cool, you probably look like a huge dork.

This was the current situation.

Eiji's mother's voice refocused his attention away from himself. "Eiji, Naruto, you'll be late for school! Sasuke already left!"

 _Oh shit. Time to move._

He sprinted from his room, aiming for the front door. "Sorry, mom!"

Eiji's Byakugan was on the right side of his head, meaning that he had a normal human's field of view in his left eye, and a 179.9-degree field of view in his right. This enabled him to notice and dodge Naruto, who was running to the door and still slipping his jacket on, sack lunch between his teeth.

Naruto removed his lunch from his mouth and turned to wave at his foster mother, who was practicing hand seals on the couch. "Have a good day, Auntie Hima!"

She stood from the couch and rushed over to the door, wrapping both boys in a large hug.

"Auntie Himaaa..." Naruto complained, squirming in her arms.

She kissed the top of Naruto's head, receiving a groan in response.

She then kissed the top of Eiji's head, and received a kiss on the cheek in return.

She dropped them and opened the front door. "Alright, munchkins. Off to school with you!"

Naruto ran out the door first, followed by Eiji.

* * *

"Eiji, are you paying attention?"

Eiji's head snapped towards Iruka, who had crossed his arms and was tapping his foot on the floor impatiently..

Eiji turned red. "Uhh..."

"You can make googly-eyes at Sakura later. Right now, " Iruka tapped the blackboard, "you need to focus."

Eiji smiled nervously. "Sorry, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka held up a hand."No need to apologize. Just focus."

"Yes sir, I'll do better." Eiji lied.

The rest of the class laughed. Sakura giggled.

"I hope so. You're in this class two years ahead of your classmates. You shouldn't be squandering this opportunity your mother fought for."

Eiji didn't respond, having retreated into his well-groomed thick purple-black cascade of hair in embarrassment. Truth be told, he was rather girlish-looking for a boy, but to be fair, both sexes were rather androgynous at his age.

"I understand, sir."

Iruka nodded. "Well, if that's the case, we'll return to the lesson."

He turned to the blackboard, pointing at diagrams of shuriken and kunai. "Now, as I was saying, shurikenjutsu is an absolutely key tool to have at one's disposal. I'd argue that it's probably one of the most versatile kind of jutsu out there, so it's important to..."

Eiji checked out again, refocusing on Sakura. He really loved her long pink hair. She apparently got a lot of flak for this at home, if her conversations with her friends were to be believed.

Say what you will about eavesdropping, but Eiji thought it was a great way to learn about someone's interests or what they liked to talk about.

Eiji heard a whoosh of air next to his left ear and felt something get lodged in his hair.

He discreetly removed the foreign object. A paper airplane.

Something was written on the wings. He recognized the clear, jagged script as Sasuke's handwriting.

 _ **Naruto made me fold up his stupid note and throw it to you. He says it's important. I doubt that very much.**_

Eiji looked down to Sasuke, who looked back and shrugged. Naruto, who was seated next to Sasuke, motioned for Eiji to open it excitedly.

Eiji complied, unfolding the note as quietly as he could. The messy, childlike scrawl could have been only Naruto's.

 _ **so do you like sakura or wat i mean it looks like you do so do you or dont you if you do i will fite you**_

Eiji turned bright red, accidentally crumpling up the note.

Naruto grinned shamelessly at Eiji. Eiji stuffed the note in his pocket. He removed a piece of paper from his backpack and began to write a response with specially-made steel pens his mother had commissioned for him. He broke the regular ones.

 **I'm sorry, but I think I do. She's pretty and sweet and brilliant. I just don't think she would like me back. And please don't fight me. I'd tire out too quickly and you'd get sent to the hospital.**

Eiji quickly folded up the note and flew it over to Naruto, who opened it and got a very confused look on his face.

He turned to look at Eiji, mouthing: _I can't read this._

Sasuke's lip twitched in frustration and he swiped the note from Naruto, deciding to provide a translation.

Sasuke whispered the contents of Eiji's note into Naruto's ear, who grinned shamelessly.

Then the bell rang.

Iruka clapped his hands. "All right, kids, tomorrow we'll be working on taijutsu. Just hope you aren't paired up with Lee, Sasuke, or one of the Hyuuga."

By the time he finished speaking, most of the kids had already left.

Eiji grinned. He liked taijutsu classes. Probably because he was good at them.

Then again, he was good at most all of them, as was Sasuke. Naruto could probably be too, if he, Iruka, and Himawari weren't the only ones who told him he could.

* * *

Eiji, Sasuke, and Naruto met up outside.

Naruto was the first to speak. "So you DO like her! When're you gonna tell her?"

Eiji shrugged, shaking his head. "I dunno. I didn't plan to."

Naruto looked shocked. "But you have to!"

Sasuke scoffed. "Tch. You do that with Sakura. Look how well it's worked out for you. I've only seen her slap you three times today. That has to be a new low. I can't imagine the odds will be better for a ten year old."

Naruto shook his fist at Sasuke dramatically. "She'll say yes eventually!"

Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, scrunching up his forehead and shaking his head. "Moron."

Naruto folded his arms. "Prick."

"Idiot."

"Asshole."

"Ignoramus."

A vein appeared in Naruto's forehead. "You wanna go?!"

Eiji placed his hands on their shoulders, his extra long sleeves draping down their backs.

"Guys, please not now. This is literally nothing. If you want to fight, we can go to the training field. And you'll have to make it quick, I've got Gentle Fist lessons from gramps in a few hours."

Sasuke piped up. "And Himawari's having me teach you the Fireball Jutsu tomorrow, so we should really conserve our energy."

Naruto shook his fist at Sasuke again. "What, you chicken?"

"Let me put it bluntly: you aren't worth my time, Naruto."

Naruto looked really mad now. Eiji grabbed Naruto by the shoulders and locked eyes with him. "Naruto, he's not worth it."

Naruto grumbled.

"Put some hours in at the training field. Then kick his ass." Eiji jerked his thumb in Sasuke's direction.

Sasuke flipped a lock of hair from his face. "Pfft. Like that'll ever happen."

Eiji was going to respond when he noticed his vision get blurry. His stomach churned and the world turned sideways. He almost tipped over when Naruto and Sasuke both grabbed him and kept him upright.

Eiji's eyes fluttered. "Ugh, what time is it?"

Sasuke looked to the sky. "I'd say about 3:00. When did you last take a chakra pill?"

Eiji thought hard, struggling to think through his stupor. "Lunch, I think."

"Time to take a chakra pill." Naruto commanded, anger at Sasuke forgotten.

Eiji nodded, shakily removing one from the pouch on his belt. Sasuke helped the shivering boy's hand to his face. Eiji swallowed the pill and felt instantly revitalized.

Eiji stood up straight and cracked his back. "That's better. Thanks, guys."

Naruto patted Eiji on the back. "Sure, buddy. Need to rest?"

Eiji shook his head. "Nah. I'm really hungry, though."

Naruto's face lit up. "Ichiraku's?"

Sasuke shook his head. "We've done that three times this week. Let's go to that barbeque place. What's it called?"

Eiji thought for a moment. "Yakiniku Q, I think. Weird name."

Sasuke snapped his fingers. "Yeah, that's it. I heard they make great tomato soup."

Naruto made a face at Sasuke. "Heard from who? You never talk to anyone."

Sasuke dodged the question. "At least people _want_ to talk to me. The minute you walk up to someone they turn tail and run."

Naruto pointed at Sasuke accusingly. "Bullshit! You don't!"

Sasuke looked at Naruto dryly. "I don't have a choice. As soon as I hit Genin, I'm moving out. Won't have to interact with you ever again, unless we get assigned to the same team, but what are the odds of that happening?"

* * *

Off in the distance, a masked man reading smut sneezed, nearly blowing his mask off. He apologized to the people around him and continued reading, thinking all the while about how awful it would be if Naruto Uzumaki or Sasuke Uchiha were assigned to his team. God help him if he got them _both._

* * *

This kind of bickering went on for another ten minutes while they made their way to lunch. Eiji was getting tired of this. Every day, this happened. One would instigate the other and he or his mother, sometimes both, would have to shut it down before they came to blows.

Eiji may have only had a single Byakugan, but its purity was comparable to his humorously much-younger-than-him Aunt Hanabi. He could see chakra in extreme detail, and both Naruto and Sasuke had far too much for their age. About 1% of Naruto's chakra behaved completely normally, even more cooperatively than most people's, and that was the chakra that he functioned on. The rest, however, was chaotic and angry, locked deep away in his system somewhere. It was also red in color, which Eiji had never seen before.

Sasuke's was similarly bizarre. It was cold. Sad. Depressed, almost. Resentful. Unlike most chakra, which had a passing effect on other humans, (what some believed to be a kind of sixth sense was just a kind of latent ninshu that alerted people to each other's presence), Sasuke's chakra seemed to have very little interest in interacting with anything but Sasuke. Unlike Naruto's strange red chakra, Sasuke's purple chakra was much, much more pervasive and readily available for Sasuke to utilize.

Even stranger, and more worrying to Eiji, was that his chakra was the same color as Sasuke's, albeit slightly diluted with a similarly-colored but different-feeling chakra that his mother and her two sisters also had.

This was too confusing to think about now, especially on an empty stomach with two idiots standing in front of him (fighting about nothing) that needed to be shut up, especially in a public place like this. People were starting to stare.

Eiji clapped his hands together. " **GUYS**."

Both boys looked at him.

"Please save it for the sparring lessons."

Naruto grunted. Sasuke snorted.

"Okay. Are we ready to go eat now?"

Another grunt. Another snort.

Eij threw his hands in the air in an exaggerated shrug. "Okay, then."

The trio of boys began to walk in the general direction of food when Sasuke decided to be Sasuke.

"I bet you won't be able to land a single hit on me." Sasuke gloated under his breath.

Eiji heard a whoosh of air and heard a loud smack.

Naruto had punched Sasuke in the face.

Sasuke reeled backwards, clutching his nose. "Agh, dammit!"

Naruto slipped into a fighting stance, or what he thought was one. "Alright, Sasuke, we're doing this right now!"

Sasuke wiped his nose, bairng his teeth. "Stupid little moron!"

Naruto ran at Sasuke, aiming another punch. "Condescending prick!"

Eiji gave up, deciding that this needed to happen. Eiji was proud of Naruto for using a word that Eiji had taught him, though. Kid needed more words in his vocabulary.

Naruto threw another punch at Sasuke's nose, but Sasuke sidestepped it and delivered a quick jab to Naruto's stomach.

Naruto gasped and fell to his knees.

Sasuke stood over Naruto with a shit-eating grin on his face.

It disgusted Eiji that Sasuke would only smile in his sleep or when he had just punched Naruto. As for how Eiji knew that Sasuke smiled in his sleep, the author will simply state that it would be easier to list all of the socially acceptable things Eiji did than the socially awkward or unacceptable things (though he will do so at the end of this chapter). He was a weird kid in a very classical definition of the phrase.

Naruto growled and delivered a headbutt to Sasuke's chin, knocking the other boy onto his back.

Sasuke coughed and stood up, flicking some shuriken at Naruto. Naruto dodged them, but Sasuke had prepared a jutsu they had learned last week.

"Clone Jutsu!"

Now there were three Sasukes.

Had most of the girls in the class been there, they'd have fainted from blood loss.

The two clones, Eiji could easily pick them out, rushed Naruto and began performing acrobatics around him, clouding his field of view with a blue and white blur.

Sasuke came rushing through his incorporeal copies and delivered a powerful open-handed strike to Naruto's chin, sending him flying back into a pile of fruits.

Sasuke and his two clones laughed and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Sasuke, having let his guard down to laugh, didn't notice a very angry Naruto rushing at him. Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke's waist and lifted him up, sprinting as fast as he could. The pair collided with a small stand, knocking it over and destroying many of the wares the owner was offering for sale.

Naruto and Sasuke lay in a heap, panting and weakly punching and kicking each other. Eiji produced a wad of Ryo from each of the boy's pockets, their weekly allowance, and gave them to the owner of the stand. He then lifted each boy over a shoulder and walked off in the direction his nose was telling him that the cooked meat was in.

Citizens of Konoha saw a lot of weird things every day, but this took the figurative cake for the weirdest thing to happen this month.

Eiji did not know at the time the true value of money, as he had just given the owner of that stand not one but two small fortunes, more than enough to buy some property and hire some workers. Later, when Eiji would meet the owner of that stand again, he would do so at the wedding of Konohamaru Sarutobi and Hanabi Hyuuga years later. He would learn the owner's name and profession, a young highly skilled but, at the time of their first meeting, underfunded jeweler named Atsushi. Konohamaru would come by later, desperate to impress the young Hyuuga after a disastrous first impression, and purchase a small pendant featuring the iconic leaf of Konohagakure. Konohamaru would give this pendant to Hanabi, and, after a few years of hard work on his part, the two would become inseparable. Konohamaru would propose to Hanabi with a ring that Atsushi had made, featuring the iconic leaf of Konohagakure in green diamonds with a gold stem. That piece would attract enormous attention to Atsushi's work, and he would come to found Konoha Jewelers. All because two little angry boys had crushed his meager stand, and two little generous boys had given him the money and exposure he needed to get his business off the ground.

Such was the way of fate.

* * *

 **A/N:** So, I suppose this might be a stretch, but it would make sense that Konoha has Ryo bills of varying value, right? So since Himawari completes A-Rank missions on a regular basis and is a daughter of Hiashi Hyuuga, she's quite well-off, meaning that her kids are too. Still, she isn't the best at thinking things through, as she is giving her small, largely defenseless children giant allowances every week in large bills. Eiji grew up with this treatment, so he doesn't quite get how valuable money is to some people. What can I say? Himawari's a great mom in most areas, but she's easily distracted and spoils her kids.

Also, just to be clear, Himawari's place isn't the first foster home Naruto went to. He was in-between homes when she decided to take him in, and Sasuke came soon after. Neither were Genin yet, so neither were considered adults, and both needed a home. At first, she was the kind of woman who was deathly allergic to kids, but after she had Eiji, her opinion changed completely. Hell, if Itachi was still around, Eiji probably would have had a half-dozen siblings before they stopped having kids.

I'm thinking about starting a one-shot series about their family after I get sufficiently far in this story. Any suggestions for the title?

Lastly, I'll talk about Itachi for a moment. Some of you are probably wondering: If he was an intensely introverted person, and he was, how did Himawari get the pants off him?

The answer, my naive friends, is alcohol. I would know.

Not really.

I'm turning nineteen in three months.

I'm a child.

A freakin' baby.

 _~Essence of Clotheslining_


	6. Chapter 5: Team 9

**A/N:** I think it's safe to say this counts as an AU now, what with all the changes I've made. I mean, Itachi's way older, the time-skip's gonna be 5 years instead of 2.5, Jiraiya and Tsunade had a thing, Naruto and Sasuke both had a mother figure, and that same mother figure even learned the Rasengan. Some characters that are nothing in canon will be actual somethings in this story. I might be going a bit nuts here. I suppose I'll update the description.

Still, this is the most fun writing I've had in years.

On a more serious note, I'm going to try to use more descriptors in the moment-to-moment writing.

~Essence of Clotheslining

* * *

Chapter 5: Team 9

 _I'm sorry I couldn't be with you boys to meet your new teams, but these A-Rank missions pay for everything we have. I'll be working with the Hidden Mist's ANBU Tracker Ninja unit to track down and eliminate a series of high-value Rogue Ninja. I should be back in a few weeks is all goes well. We have instant ramen and canned tomatoes and tomato soup in the pantry. Eiji, keep Naruto and Sasuke from killing each other._

 _Lots of Love,_

 _Mom/Auntie Hima/Himawari_

Sasuke looked at the note, seemingly offended. "'Keep Naruto and Sasuke from killing each other?' The hell is that supposed to mean?"

Naruto scratched his head. "I think it means she wants Eiji to keep us from beating each other up."

Sasuke scoffed. "Like you could beat me."

Both boys heard a voice from the kitchen. "Sasuke, NO."

Naruto was about to speak, but the voice seemed to sense this. "Breakfast is ready. And Naruto, do NOT taunt him back."

Naruto groaned before following Sasuke from their guardian's bedroom to the kitchen counter where they typically ate their meals. It was a long, heavily-chipped slab of granite that had seen many stains, spills, and bodily fluids in its time as a countertop, as was common for countertops belonging to women that were taking care of three children. In Sasuke's typical spot, the far left, a bowl of tomato soup waited for him. In Naruto's spot, center-left (the most chipped area by far), a bowl of instant ramen. Eiji had just sat down on the far right and had started shoveling down the remnants of leftover yakiniku. He had inherited his mother's taste in food, being largely carnivorous and having an enormous sweet tooth, very much the opposite of his father. Given his constant use of chakra, he also needed to consume more calories, otherwise he'd grow unhealthily thin. This meant his portions were typically comparable to Choji's.

Sasuke sat down at his spot, splitting his chopsticks. He looked over to Eiji. "I have never seen you eat anything plant-based before."

"Cool." Eiji acknowledged between bites. That was his way of communicating: "I heard what you said and I legitimately can't communicate how little I care."

Naruto said nothing, having started to eat his breakfast before he had even planted his rear in the seat.

Sasuke looked at Eiji and Naruto. Both were practically swallowing their food whole. It was like this every morning, but it didn't change the fact that it was baffling to him that he was the only one in the household that could eat like a civilized human being.

Sasuke's forehead scrunched up in concern. "You two should slow down."

He heard what sounded like a _"_ piss off _"_ coming from behind the ramen bowl in front of Naruto's face.

He shrugged. He liked to shrug to convey indifference, whether or not that indifference was real."Suit yourself. I'm not helping you if you choke; you can get your shadow clones to do it."

No response.

Sasuke sighed again and began to eat his breakfast, eyeing Naruto. He still couldn't believe that he had been assigned to a team with _that_. What moron had decided to balance out the genin teams? The good people should work with the good people, and the shit people should work with the shit people. Some people needed to get stuck with the D-Rank missions, and he was very worried that now that he was stuck on a team with Naruto and that pink-haired girl Eiji liked, he'd be confined to those missions.

Speaking of Eiji, Eiji had gotten it even worse. He was stuck with two _girls_ and a Jounin that wasn't even born in Konoha. Eiji had gotten similar scores to Sasuke on both exams (lower on the written test, set some new records in the physical exam), which means his team, Team 9, was structured similarly to Team 7, with one high-scorer, one average, and one very poor that had passed by learning and demonstrating some B-Rank or above technique. As stated earlier, the high-scorer was Eiji. This had come as no surprise to Sasuke.

He didn't know who the other two were.

Sasuke looked up from his soup. "Hey, Eiji?"

Sasuke hadn't noticed, but Eiji was busing his plate already. "Yeah?"

"Who'd you get assigned with again?"

"Kazuko Hoki and Mayumi."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Mayumi what?"

Eiji shrugged, holding up his hands. "I don't know. There wasn't a last name on the form."

Sasuke was moderately intrigued. Contrary to his behavior, and much to his chagrin, he cared deeply about Eiji, and wanted to know exactly who would be trusted with his nephew's life if things got dangerous.

Sasuke folded his arms. "What are they like?"

Eiji cocked his head to the side, and obvious indication of confusion that he shared with his father. "Sasuke Uchiha wants to know about my colleagues? This smells funny."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Come on, Eiji."

Eiji shrugged. "I don't know. I haven't met them yet. I just know their names. They weren't in our classroom."

Sasuke nodded. "What about your Jounin teacher?"

Naruto dropped his now-empty bowl on the counter and wiped his face. "Isn't he from Kumo or something?"

Eiji nodded, fingering his pendant. "He is. I've never met the guy, but apparently he knows my mom."

Sasuke stood up and pushed in his chair. "Huh. Small world. What's his name again?"

Eiji was loading his pouches and pockets with tools."Ryuji Inazuma, probably the most 'Kumo' name ever."

Sasuke chuckled."Dragon-Man Lightning-Bolt? Heh. Yeah, that's very Hidden Cloud."

Naruto slid from his seat and walked to the door. "I don't care where the dude's from. His name is awesome."

Eiji pointed at Naruto and Sasuke. "You two got Sakura, right?"

Naruto smiled and pumped his fist in the air. "Yeah! Now I'll have plenty of time to show her how great a ninja I am!"

 _If she isn't too busy fawning over Sasuke._

Sasuke yawned, walking to the door. "Not like she's punched you every single time you make an advance, or anything."

Naruto opened the door, huffing indignantly. "Hey, she'll like me eventually!"

Eiji took out his keys, exited with the two other boys, and closed the door, locking it. "So we're going to meet up at the Konoha library after we're done with our teams, right?"

Sasuke nodded. "Yeah. We should do some research on the families of the people we're going to be working with."

Naruto groaned. "Aww man, not the library! What am I supposed to do there?"

The three boys began walking down the stairs to their apartment and down to the street.

Sasuke shrugged again. "I don't give a damn what you do, Naruto. Just let the two of us focus on doing the important stuff, yeah?"

Eiji, ever the diplomat, suggested something else. "How about you practice with your shadow clones while you're there? Create some and have them get books on what we ask for? Maybe have _them_ do some reading?"

"How is _that_ gonna help? They're shadow clones."

The trio was walking down the street now.

Eiji smiled. He loved proving others wrong, especially when the information he would prove them wrong with was beneficial to them. "Actually, Naruto, I did some reading on shadow clones. Apparently, when they dissipate, all the things they learned and experienced are transferred to you. You can just make thirty of 'em and have them read tons of books while you go and eat ramen."

Naruto's face lit up like a Christmas tree (not that any of them knew what a Christmas was). "You mean I can just have them study for me? That's awesome!"

Sasuke chuckled again, another thing he liked to do. "If they're replicas of you, they'll all just procrastinate and not do the reading. Remember how many times Eiji had to explain the homework to you before school just so you'd be ready for class?"

Naruto scratched the back of his head awkwardly, enthusiasm curbed. "Yeah, Eiji was really patient with me. I really lagged behind a lot of that class."

 _Damn right I was. Nearly kicked your ass when you didn't even touch the reading you needed to do for that essay until the night before it was due._ Eiji thought.

"It's alright. I enjoyed helping out. Helped reinforce the material for me." Eiji lied.

"Liar. You hated it." Sasuke observed.

"Hey! Don't call Eiji a liar, you jerk!" Naruto shouted at Sasuke.

Sasuke held up a hand. "Quiet, little idiot. The adults are talking."

Eiji firmly and forcefully applied his palm to his forehead. He hoped Sakura and whoever their Jounin teacher was could both deal with and diffuse these kinds of situations the way he and his mother did. Otherwise, he'd be carrying them to the hospital instead of meeting them in the library.

* * *

Eiji looked at his map, confused. Then he looked back up at the clearing around him, oversized hood flopping around from the sudden movement. This was the place he was supposed to be meeting his team, but nobody was here.

He looked up at the sky. It was noon exactly. The meeting time.

Where was everyone?

He decided to walk over to a large rock and sit down.

He opened up a book that his mother had lent him. _The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi_ , it was called.

Terrible title, but his mother had described the book as "badass," so he figured he'd take a look.

He opened to the first page. Messy handwriting covered a great deal of the inside cover.

 _To my friend, Himawari..._

 _We may not have met under the best of circumstances, but you showing up to the book signing tells me you've fully forgiven me. I can't think about our first meeting too much because my crotch starts to hurt like hell whenever I do, but know that had I met you before I started writing this book, the protagonist might have been "Naruko."_

 _And good luck with that Itachi boy. He may be the leader of a bunch of spooks, but from my interactions with him, he's a kind, gentle soul that wants nothing more than unity and peace. Don't be scared of approaching him. Be brave._

 _Lots of (platonic) Love,_

 _~Jiraiya_

 _P.S: Great job at combining the Rasengan and the Palm Rotation. That's an A-Rank technique if I've ever seen one, and I invented the Great Flame Rasengan._

Eiji looked at the note quizzically, cocking his head to the side. How old was this book? Who the hell was Jiraiya? What was a Rasengan, and how had his mother combined it with the Palm Rotation?

A small, timid voice yanked him from his confusion. "Hello? Is anyone here?"

Eiji looked up. It was a little girl dressed in simple grey shorts and a light grey long-sleeve shirt with loose sleeves. She was carrying a black backpack that looked to weigh almost as much as she did. Her silver hair was done up in a small bun on the crown of her head and a ponytail that protruded from the base of her skull down to the small of her back.

Glasses rested on her ears and nose.

Eiji was now conflicted. He'd liked Sakura as far back as he could remember, but he was feeling a lot of things for this girl too.

Now he just had to get her to say her name without him asking.

Eiji stood up and rushed over to her. "Let me get that for you."

She waved, panting. "I can carry this. It's-urf-good for me."

He smiled and removed the large pack from her shoulders. Even for him, it felt quite heavy.

She smiled and blushed, catching her breath. "Thanks."

He exhaled, deciding to use both shoulders instead of one. "Jeez, what's in this thing?"

She counted on her fingers, looking to the sky. "Medical supplies, food, some scrolls, camping supplies, a tent-"

Eiji interrupted her. "Why did you bring all that? We're only going to be here for a few hours."

She looked surprised. "Really? I got a message that told me that we were going camping."

"And you fell for it like a grade-a sucker." Another girl said, having walked straight out of the forest that encircled the clearing.

She was a small, slender girl, being smaller than Eiji at thirteen. Her shock of white hair jutted out in nearly every direction but directly downwards, and she had a mischievous glint in her large brown eyes that reminded Eiji far too much of Naruto on his worst days.

She wore a simple brown sleeveless blouse similar in design to a kimono, and dark green pants that cut off halfway up her calf. Straw zori flopped as sauntered over to the two kids. Her calloused hands held an apple.

She took a bite of her apple. "So, I'm paired up with two girls?" She intoned, spitting bits of apple on Eiji.

Eiji recoiled and wiped the saliva and shredded apple from his shirt, groaning disgustedly. "Would you mind chewing with your mouth closed, please?"

"Yes."

The silver-haired girl stuck out her hand and grinned. "Hi! I'm Kazuko Hoki. What's your name?"

 _Now I know which is which, at least._

"Mayumi." Mayumi stated dryly, ignoring Kazuko's outstretched hand.

"Mayumi-" Kazuko said expectantly, expecting Mayumi to finish with her last name.

She didn't.

Eiji cocked his head to the side. "What, you don't have a clan?"

"No. I'm an orphan."

Kazuko pursed her lips, brow furrowing. "That's stinks."

Mayumi discarded the apple core with a flippant toss. "You get used to it."

Mayumi looked at Eiji carefully for the first time, examining him thoroughly. The only skin she could see was most of the left side of his head and a few of his toes. His forehead protector was covering up the right side.

She wondered why.

She pointed to Eiji. "Hey, what's your name?"

He sighed. This is usually when people told him he couldn't eat here, couldn't shop there, couldn't just use the restroom everywhere else. "Eiji Hyuuga."

"Why are you covering up the other side of your face with your forehead protector, Eiji?"

He tapped the metal of the forehead protector, grateful that she seemed to ignore his bastard status. "I can't turn my Byakugan off, so I cover it up. I conserve chakra that way. It also psyches people out, because they think I can't see out of my right eye. I can actually see better with this eye than the other."

What he didn't say was that he also did it to avoid seeing everyone naked at all times.

Mayumi lifted the protector from his face. Sure enough, the Byakugan was activated. Eiji was suddenly seeing everyone's chakra points and was suddenly _not_ seeing everyone's clothes.

He turned bright red, quickly shifting the protector down over his eye.

She shivered. "Byakugan give me the creeps. Those veins are weird."

The three kids stood around awkwardly. Then they heard another voice.

"Nice to see you all made it in time."

It was deep. Very deep. It seemed to emanate from the sky.

A man fell from the sky in question, landing a few feet away from the three kids.

Well, it was less accurate to say "man." "Human wall" would be more applicable. He was absolutely massive; a bulwark of rippling muscle and quiet, reserved strength. Eiji would ballpark his height at around 205 centimeters, or about 6'8. He had the dark skin and slicked-back platinum blonde hair reserved for Kumogakure natives. His head was somewhat square, and he had a wide mouth and a large nose (by Konoha standards, at least). There was a small diagonal scar across the left side of his lips. Eiji wondered where that came from.

This man had lacked the standard flak jacket favored by most Konoha ninja, and ninja in general, in favor of a far less practical and far more flashy pure white high-collared montsuki haori. The edges and inside of the coat were pitch black silk. Underneath was a kimono made of a shiny fark gold fabric, which was worn very open around the chest, exposing very scarred but still very appealing chest and stomach muscles. If one was attracted to the 'beefcake' archetype and the Raikage still wasn't enough, this is where one should look. He wore light grey hakama tucked into black kyahan. Black almost obsessively polished geta were strapped to his feet.

A highly-decorated sword was slipped neatly into an simple but expensive-looking black obi, and he had his left arm resting on said sword. The Konoha forehead protector dangled from the edge of the sheathe.

In sum, he looked like a mob boss.  
He smirked warmly. Eiji didn't really know how he managed to do that. Every marker of a smirk was there. Upturned lip, mischievous glint in the eyes, raised eyebrow, etcetera. But still, he managed to do it.

"Hello. My name is Ryuji Inazuma, and you must be my new genin team." He spoke very calmly and warmly, seemingly aware that if he didn't, he would have scared them off already.

Mayumi was dumbstruck. She hadn't known what to expect from her teacher, but she certainly hadn't expected someone this cool.

Mayumi rushed over to him excitedly. "Hi! I'm Mayumi!"

He chuckled, crouching down and hunching over. "Nice to meet you, Mayumi."

They shook hands, his massive hand absolutely dwarfing her tiny digits.

Ryuji looked over to the other two kids, motioning for them to come over. "Come now, don't be shy."

Eiji approached cautiously, silently noting that Kazuko was hiding behind him.

"So, you're Eiji Hyuuga?" Ryuji inquired.

Eiji nodded. "Yes."

"Heh. Your mom's told me a lot about you."

Eiji needed more information, but he would ask about the _what_ of what is mother had told Ryuji when there weren't girls around. "You go on missions a lot together?"

"Most every A-Rank your mother goes on."

Wow. This man was a huge part of his mother's life. There was now one key question to be asked.

Eiji locked eyes Ryuji. "Are you two romantically involved?" He asked, deadly serious.

Ryuji stared at Eiji, dumbfounded.

Then he burst out laughing, tipping over onto his back with an earthshaking _thump_.

Ryuji sat up, wiping his eyes. "Ha ha ha ha ha! Your mom's a knockout, Eiji, but getting involved with her at my age would be seen as pedophelia. Besides, she's not my type."

That was a rather unorthodox way of delivering the correct response, but Eiji was just glad it was the correct response.

Kazuko decided it was safe to come out now. She gingerly approached Ryuji. "My name is Kazuko Hoki. Nice to meet you, Ryuji-sensei."

Ryuji smiled and dipped his head. "It's nice to meet you as well, Kazuko. I must say, with you being a Hoki, you'll be a very valuable asset to the team."

Her eyes lit up. "Really?" She gasped.

Ryuji smiled. "Of course! Medical Ninja are very valuable, and Konoha is very lacking in them these days. I brushed up on it recently, so I should be able to teach you the basics."

Kazuko grinned, excited.

Ryuji clapped his hands together. It sounded like a lightning strike. "Okay then. We know each other's names. That's a good start. Now, let's get to know each other. Who wants to go first?"

In spite of the earlier enthusiasm, he got no volunteers.

"It looks like I'll be going first."

The four sat in a circle, legs crossed.

Ryuji began to summarize himself. "Well, my name, as you three already know, is Ryuji Inazuma. I'm 45 years old. As you can all see, my looks aren't exactly common for Konoha. See, I was born in Kumogakure, the Village Hidden in the Clouds. Lots of people out there have darker skin and lighter hair. I'm a member of the Inazuma family. The Fourth Raikage is my brother, and the Third Raikage is my father."

Eiji raised an eyebrow. _He's forty-five? He looks twenty-eight._

"Do you go out to visit them often?" Eiji asked, legitimately curious.

Ryuji tensed for just a moment. A moment so short, only someone with a dojutsu could pick it up, but a moment nonetheless."

"Uh, no. We haven't been on good terms for a while now."

Mayumi interrupted. "What'd you do? Did you beat the Raikage in a fight? I bet that was it. I bet Ryuji-sensei kicked the Raikage's ass and then the Raikage sent him packing because he was embarrassed."

Ryuji shook his head. "Language, Mayumi. But to address your guess: no, not exactly, but that isn't really important. I wound up here after wandering around for a while. The Fourth Hokage was nice enough to take me in, and let me retain my Jounin status from Kumogakure on the condition that I teach a team of the next generation of Genin."

Kazuko raised her hand politely.

Ryuji pointed to her. "Yes, Kazuko? You have a question?"

Kazuko pointed to Ryuji's sword. "Why do you use a katana? I thought shinobi used kunai or chokuto."

Ryuji smiled wistfully, patting the sword's grip. "When I was wandering around, I stayed in the Land of Iron for a while. A lot of the bandits up there use swords, and I figured it would be wise to learn how to use one. And if you ever go to Kumogakure, you'll probably notice a lot of kenjutsu practitioners. Blades from Kumogakure are highly compatible with Lightning Style jutsu, and _Ryūjin no Hōkō_ here is no exception."

Eiji remained silent. _Ryūjin no Hōkō._ Roar of the Dragon God. It struck him how remarkably similar the name _Ryūji_ was to _Ryūjin_.

"Anyone else have any questions?"

Mayumi raised her hand exaggeratedly. "Me! Me!"

Ryuji pointed to Mayumi. "Yes, Mayumi?"

"How many people have you killed with that?" She asked tactlessly, pointing at Ryuji's sword.

He chuckled. "More than zero but less than a million. Next?"

Somehow satisfied with that answer, Mayumi calmed down.

Eiji felt the need to refocus the conversation on more important matters. "What kind of jutsu do you specialize in? What do you still struggle with?"

"I specialize in Lightning, Wind, and Fire Style techniques, as well as Kenjutsu, Ninjutsu, and Taijutsu. I have a moderate grasp of Earth and Water Style. As for what I still struggle with, there's a lot. I can't throw a shuriken in a straight line to save my life, and I still refuse to learn any kind of genjutsu."

"Why?" Eiji interrupted.

Ryuji scowled. "It's dishonest. Dishonorable. Deceptive."

Eiji found himself getting frustrated. "Who cares? We're ninja. Last I checked, deception and deceit were part of the job description."

Ryuji sighed. He wasn't about to get into an argument with an ten-year-old. "All I can say is I won't be teaching any of you genjutsu. I will absolutely teach you how to escape them, probably with Ms. Yuuhi's help, and I won't actively discourage you from using them until you can properly defend yourselves. I simply request that you three understand my objection to it. "

The three kids understood now, nodding in unison.

Ryuji's smile returned. "Good! Now, who wants to go next?"

Mayumi raised her hand again, calling out to Ryuji to pick her.

Ryuji shrugged. "I suppose it's Mayumi's turn now."

Mayumi spoke fast, very excited that she got to talk about herself."Okay, so I grew up and lived in Konoha's orphanage for my whole life until now, since Genin get to live alone. I don't know who my parents were, but they left me with this necklace."

She held up the small crystal dangling from her neck. Kazuko was mesmerized by it. Eiji briefly moved his headband upwards, exposing his Byakugan. He was briefly distracted by Ryuji, whose nether regions were so absurdly large that he had difficulty understanding how they got so big. He turned red and refocused on the necklace. It was so heavily charged with Chakra it nearly blinded him. He grit his teeth and re-covered his eye.

Mayumi shrugged, letting her necklace fall back down to her collarbone. "That's about it for me. I'm not really good with any kind of jutsu yet, but I'm hopeful. If you need me, I live over in the residential complex near the Hot Springs. Oh, and I'm thirteen years old."

Ryuji dipped his head. "Thank you, Mayumi."

Ryuji then looked to the other two kids. "Does anyone have questions for Mayumi?"

Ryuji looked to Kazuko. She looked away.

Ruji looked to Eiji. He shook his head.

Ryuji smiled."Alright then. Who next?"

Kazuko raised her hand again.

Ryuji nodded. "Go ahead, Kazuko."

Kazuko nodded in response. "Hello, everyone. My name is Kazuko Hoki. I'm twelve years old, and I'm pretty good with Medical Ninjutsu."

"Didn't the Hoki Clan immigrate to Sunagakure a while back?" Eiji interrupted.

"Well, yes, but some of us stayed to maintain good relations with Konoha."

Eiji nodded. That made sense. "Oh. Okay."

"Anyways, that's it for me. I live near the hospital and my parents are both Medical Ninja that work there."

Ryuji bowed his head again, understanding that the girl was shy and didn't want to say much. "Thank you, Kazuko."

All eyes turned to Eiji.

Ryuji gestured at Eiji. "Your turn, Eiji."

Eiji shrugged. "Well, most of you probably already know who I am and who my parents are. "

Kazuko nodded awkwardly, as did Mayumi. Ryuji just sat there.

"I'm ten years old. I feel no need to discuss myself as a person of my own volition, but I will answer any questions you have about me. However, there are some things you need to know about me before we work together in the field."

Eiji reached into one of the many pouches on his belt and dug out some of his prescription chakra pills.

He showed them to his team. "These are highly-concentrated prescription chakra pills. I, for some reason, can't stop channeling my chakra to every part of my body. Every single thing I do is chakra-enhanced. This voice I'm using? This is me whispering. I also can't turn off my Byakugan, which is why I wear my forehead protector over it all the time. It's been like this since I was a baby. I take these pills once at meal time every day or before I physically exert myself to a significant degree, otherwise I'd pass out. Sometimes I do anyways."

"That sounds like it sucks." Mayumi interjected.

Eiji nodded. "It does. However..." Eiji walked over to the large rock he had been sitting on earlier.

"...since I've been using so much chakra so consistently for so long, I have massive reserves. It lets me do stuff like this."

Eiji wound up a punch. Had any other people around him had dojutsu, they would have seen his fist begin to glow a dark purple. Eiji let fly and punched the rock.

It shattered into thousands of pieces.

Mayumi's eyes lit up. "Holy shit! Punch more stuff!"

Eiji's vision went blurry again. He lost his balance and almost fell over.

"Ya see, this's wha happens when I overexert m'self." He slurred.

Eiji popped the pill he had been holding into his mouth and swallowed it. He flashed blue, and his chakra was restored.

He shook his head rapidly to the left and right, reorienting his vision. "And that's what I do to fix it. Any questions?"

Mayumi, raised her hand and began speaking before Ryuji had told her she could. "Do you have the Sharingan?"

Eiji shrugged, returning to the circle. "I don't know. My life has been pretty alright so far. No trauma significant enough to activate it."

Mayumi looked confused. "Is that how that works?"

Eiji nodded. "Yeah. The Normal Sharingan supposedly requires strong negative emotions for activation. After that, there's the Mangekyo Sharingan. Grants even more powerful user-specific abilities that cause blindness with extended use. Uchiha records say you have to murder your best friend to activate it."

Kazuko gasped. "That's horrific."

"Yes it is. If you really want to go for broke, there's the Eternal Mangekyo Sharingan. It's the result of an eye transplant between two people with Mangekyo Sharingan. It lets the user utilize the abilities of both people with complete impunity. No risk of going blind at all. Apparently, the Uchiha clan made a practice of doing this." Eij explained, gesticulating all the while.

Mayumi scrunched up her face in disgust. "That's gross."

Eiji nodded in agreement. "Yes it is. Any more questions?"

Silence.

Ryuji stood up with an exhale. "Now that we're done getting to know each other, it's time to move on to our first lesson."

He removed two bells from the inside of his coat. "The goal is to acquire one of these bells. As you can see, there are only two. The student who fails to acquire a bell will be sent back to the Academy. If you screw up bad enough, we might even drop you. I was also going to tie the loser to the rock Eiji just punched and prevent them from eating lunch, but we'll use a tree instead. Now, I'm not the biggest fan of this test, because I think it encourages cutthroat behavior among small children, but all potential Genin teams are assigned it, and it's my duty to administer it."

Kazuko gulped. Mayumi cracked her knuckles.

None of them moved.

Eiji had an idea. "Could we have a minute to talk, Ryuji-sensei?"

Ryuji smiled. Eiji was showing leadership qualities already. "Sure. You've got five minutes."

Eiji smiled, nodding. "Thanks."

Eiji turned around and motioned for his team members to huddle up.

Mayumi was the first to talk. "Why are we talking? Just swipe the bells when he's not looking."

Eiji frowned. "Listen. You two can have the bells."

"What?" Both girls questioned in unison.

"They wouldn't dare send me back to the academy. Family's too powerful and my scores were too high."

Mayumi looked angry. "Hey, you think I need help getting a bell? Screw you, man."

Eiji groaned. "I'm throwing you a bone here, Mayumi."

"I don't need a bone." Mayumi hissed.

"Mayumi, listen to me. If I don't get a bell, I will, at worst, be tied to a tree for a few seconds. If you or Kazuko don't get a bell, there's actual risk there for you. Let me take the hit." Eiji growled.

Mayumi huffed. "Fine."

"Thank you. Now, we need to come up with a plan. First, let's-"

"Time's up! Hope you're ready." Ryuji shouted.

 _Fuck._

Mayumi grinned devilishly. "Guess I'll get a bell without your dumb plan."

Mayumi broke away from the group and into a full-blown sprint towards Ryuji. "Get ready for a poundin', Ryuji-sensei!"

Ryuji smiled sadly and awkwardly. He really hated having to lay the smackdown on someone so small and enthusiastic.

She roared as ferociously as a twelve-year-old girl could roar, running at Ryuji with her fists in the air.

Eiji briefly considered his options. The way he saw it, there were three.

Option A: Snag the bells while Mayumi was distracting Ryuji. Later, he would plant one on Mayumi and give the other to Kazuko.

Option B: Try and steal the bells alone.

Option C: Take on Ryuji alone and hope his teammates could figure out the rest.

Option A was appealing, but it would eat away at his conscience forever if Mayumi got sent back to the academy, or worse, dropped as a Genin forever.

Option B was slightly better, but less viable if he gauged his comrade's skills correctly. Getting help from your team was a good thing. Relying on them was not.

Option C, unfortunately, looked like the most viable option.

Eiji discarded his hoodie and his forehead protector, and swallowed another chakra pill.

 _Time to take one for the team. Literally. Oh, just for that joke I deserve this beatdown._

He steeled himself for the coming pain and rushed at Ryuji, shoving Mayumi back toward Kazuko.

"When he's distracted, grab a bell!" Eiji shouted back to his teammates.

"Got it!" Kazuko shouted, helping Mayumi to her feet.

Eiji swiped a rock from the ground a whipped it at Ryuji's head. Ryuji caught it and was about to throw it back but, Eiji was already on top of him.

Baring his teeth with a growl, Eiji began assaulting Ryuji with Gentle Fist strikes. Ryuji dodged out of the way every time almost effortlessly.

"Hold still, dammit." Eiji hissed through clenched teeth, trying to keep up.

Ryuji caught Eiji's hand and delivered a swift chop to his neck. "Maybe you should shift your tactics."

Eiji growled again and grabbed Ryuji's giant hand firmly, wrapping his legs along his teacher's massive arm. Ryuji shook his arm, trying to remove Eiji without hurting him too badly.

Eiji constricted his legs around Ryuji's arm and began furiously assaulting every tenketsu he could find with pokes that injected debilitating chakra into Ryuji's chakra pathway system.

In short order, Ryuji found his arm and shoulder go completely limp.

Ryuji roared and ripped Eiji from his limp arm, throwing him a good fifty feet.

Eiji landed with a dull thump, the impact knocking the air from his lungs.

With the last few moments of consciousness he had left, he saw Mayumi and Kazuko successfully steal the bells from Ryuji, who, in turn, gave them a Eiji an exhausted but undeniably proud grin.

Satisfied with the outcome, Eiji allowed himself a satisfied smirk before the world went black.

* * *

 **A/N:** Holy shit was that way longer than I expected it to be. I think I'm back in the swing of things. Also, I haven't done this yet, but I'd really like to request some reviews with your thoughts. I want this to be good, and I can't have it be good when nobody is telling me what they think.

On the character of Ryuji, he's basically just Ryuji Goda from Ryu ga Gotoku (or, Yakuza, as it's known out West.) Big burly noble demon type. Tanned skin. Bleached hair. Real smart guy. Hates lies and deceptions, which is why this Ryuji hates genjutsu and all forms of stealth. He's also voiced by Masami Iwasaki, which automatically makes him a badass.

Here's his theme (remove the spaces and add a dot-com-slash after "youtube" and you've got a link): www . youtube watch?v=3XyoUlf_wKM

As for Mayumi, it's pretty obvious who her parents are if you remember a bit of throwaway exposition form one chapter and a "Such was the way of fate" paragraph from another one. Spiky white hair and brown eyes? You can figure it out.

 _~Essence of Clotheslining_


	7. Chapter 6: Bloodforged

**A/N:** So, we're over 1,500 hits now, and over 600 visitors. I'm really surprised this story has that already. I don't even think it's that good yet. Shit is only starting to hit the fan now. I need to set up Eiji having a happy life before everything falls apart.

Speaking of lives falling apart, I'm going off to college in a few months with the end goal being an M.D in Psychiatry, a girlfriend, and a home that lacks my parents. Shouldn't effect TBoK too badly.

I haven't plugged Hokage Tower in a good while. It's a great Naruto-centric forum right here on this website. Look it up.

Also, please buy Yakuza 5 if you've got a PS3 and an internet connection. It's a fun-ass video game about Japanese dudes punching the hell out of other Japanese dudes in the most radical ways possible. I actually got my FF handle from a move in Yakuza 4, which is also available on PSN.

 _~Essence of Clotheslining_

* * *

Chapter 6: Bloodforged

The Konoha Library was normally a peaceful place. People would come to read books, study for exams, learn new jutsu, etcetera. The Haruno Clan ran it, and they were very proud of the reputation it had as a place of quiet learning. Today, however, Naruto had occupied the place with somewhere around twenty shadow clones. Ten were laying around reading books, and the other ten were actively searching for books. The real Naruto was sitting at a table with Eiji Hyuuga and Sasuke Uchiha, relaying information to them when a clone dissipated and reading manga the rest of the time. The other two aforementioned boys had just finished discussing Sasuke's and Naruto's experience with the Bell Test with Kakashi Hatake.

Eiji stared at Sasuke incredulously. "So that's Kakashi? Some lazy prick that just reads porn all day and lies to you about what lets you pass the test?"

Sasuke nodded. "It would appear so."

Eiji leaned back in his chair. "That's disappointing. My mom said he was cool."

Naruto looked up from the manga he was reading. "Oh, he's really cool. He's just a jerk. Like Sasuke." Naruto motioned in Sasuke's direction with his head.

Sasuke's lip twitched. "Hey! You're just mad because you failed and got tied to a log."

Naruto frowned. "We all failed."

Eiji looked pointedly at Sasuke. "Sasuke, he's not wrong."

Sasuke grumbled.

Naruto set down the manga he was reading, dog-earing a page that depicted two men in business suits with glowing auras beating each other up.

* * *

Off in the Land of Iron, an impossibly large and muscular man with long black hair and a tiger tattoo that was eating deer stew in a cave sneezed, spewing deer stew all over the cave floor. He decided to move to a new cave.

Off in Tanzaku Town, a handsome, slender, and athletic billionaire with a phoenix tattoo lay napping on his couch. He sneezed, blowing the monthly issue of _Hidden Mist Hotties_ from his face onto the floor. This would later earn him a slap from his secretary for sleeping on the job and for reading porn at work. He did the same thing the next day.

Off in Kirigakure, an impossibly corrupt and lazy Tracker Ninja/Police Officer with an orchid tattoo sneezed, alerting a group of thugs to his presence. He cursed his bad luck for the umpteenth time that day before beating the snot out of a group of Rogue Ninja with a bunch of arms made of water while he stood around and smoked. He booked the thugs for loitering. They sued him for use of excessive force and abuse of police power. They won, somehow, and he had to pay them money he didn't have. Great.

Also off in Tanzaku Town, a perpetually down-on-his-luck ex-ninja-baseball-superstar sneezed while the Cho-Han dealer was shaking the dice. His sneeze was mistaken for him saying "cho." He had planned to say "han." This mistake net him ten million Ryo. It was all gone by the next week, having been spent on expensive women, and men, and even more expensive exotic weaponry. He was happy with his purchases.

Ryuji Inazuma, who was at home reading a book, sneezed into his cup of tea, accidentally blowing it across the room. He cursed under his breath and cleaned up the mess, his half-sister Sayama berating him for making the mess before going to work.

Lastly, off in the archipelago in the land of water, an impossibly perfect man with a dragon tattoo sitting on the porch of his beachside orphanage sneezed, waking his wife and daughter who had been napping in a hammock. He told them to go back to sleep, kissing each one on the cheek.

* * *

Naruto leaned forward, crossing his arms on the table and kicking his legs excitedly "So, did you have to take the bell test?"

Eiji nodded. "Yeah, we did."

Sasuke folded his arms. "How'd the other two do?"

Eiji smiled. "They got the bells."

Sasuke raised his eyebrows in shock. "YOU were the one that didn't get a bell? What the hell?"

Naruto looked disappointed. "Come on, Eiji. You were one of the best in the class. What happened?"

"I-" Eiji was going to respond when all three boys were shushed by the librarian, a cute Haruno woman, shushed them. In truth, she was only an assistant, but these little troublemakers didn't need to know that.

Eiji continued, lowering his voice, glaring daggers at the librarian before resuming eye contact with his adoptive brothers. "I let Mayumi and Kazuko get the bells because I didn't think I needed one. I had the highest scores in both exams of the group, so I took the hit because I knew I could take it."

The look on Sasuke's face was one of blank confusion.

It took Naruto more than a few seconds, but he got it. A grin crept across his face, whisker marks stretching out. "Oh, I get it!"

Sasuke shook his head in confusion. "I don't. You could have easily taken both bells for yourself, but you gave them both to your team."

Eiji nodded. "Yes."

Sasuke was absolutely bewildered. "Because you say you didn't need one to pass."

"Correct."

"Even though Ryuji explicitly told you that you needed one to pass."

"He did."

"So you deliberately let your inferior classmates succeed."

"I did."

"But you failed."

Eiji smirked haughtily. "And I'm damn proud of it."

Sasuke put his face on the table the three boys sat around, groaning. "Naruto, could you get one of your shadow clones to grab a book on leadership skills? Eiji seems to think he's doing his team a favor by doing their work for them."

Naruto shrugged, creating another shadow clone and sending him off in the direction of career-related books. "Alright, but he's making sense to me."

Eiji grinned. "See? This guy gets it."

Naruto and Eiji high-fived.

"You two are the worst." Sasuke groaned into the table.

Eiji and Naruto laughed, but were promptly shut down by the librarian.

Eiji turned back around and lifted his forehead protector, glaring at the librarian with an activated Byakugan, radiating as much killing intent as he could produce.

The librarian's assistant gasped in shock and dropped the books she was carrying. She bent over to pick them up, then she scurried away.

Eiji pulled his forehead protector back over his eye. "That should scare her off."

* * *

The young librarian woman, only seventeen at present, would grow up to be an incredibly well-known adult film star in Konoha in her adult years, going by the pseudonym of 'Strawberry.' She would go on to have a role in a scene in a library in the Icha Icha: Paradise film adaptation which would star, as luck would have it, Eiji Hyuuga as the male lead, having decided to utilize his "talents" professionally. They would only recognize each other after the scene's first take, making all subsequent takes both incredibly awkward and incredibly arousing for both parties. Because of his stellar performance, Icha Icha: Paradise would be the first adult/comedy film to win an academy award for best picture. Every subsequent Icha Icha film adaptation that starred Eiji won the award as well.

Such was the way of fate.

* * *

One of Naruto's shadow clones walked over to the table occupied by the original and held a book above the table. He dissipated, dropping the book. It was entitled: _A Comprehensive History of the Haruno Clan._

Naruto's pupils dilated, then refocused.

"Huh." Naruto said.

"What is it?" Eiji asked, cocking his head to the side.

"I thought Auntie Hima was lying when she told us where babies come from."

Sasuke's eyes widened. "You mean all that stuff she told us is true?"

Naruto turned red, lewd images from a book on human sexuality flashing through his mind. He began to giggle childishly. "Yep!"

Sasuke turned pale green, running off to the bathroom.

Eiji was trying very hard to learn about the Haruno clan from the book that Naruto's shadow clone just dropped on the table, and it became easier after Naruto's giggles subsided.

Naruto wiped a tear from his eye. "So that's what you see when you pull off your forehead protector!"

Eiji groaned. "Yes, Naruto. That's what breasts look like."

Naruto grinned shamelessly.

Eiji looked at him dryly. "Grow up."

Naruto smiled. "Never."

Eiji groaned and returned to the book, a genealogy and history of the Sakura's clan. The Haruno Clan was so widespread and so massive that Eiji suspected Jou Haruno, the supposed progenitor of the clan, to be a very promiscuous man. They had no special kekkei genkai or signature techniques, excluding their unique pink hair. According to legend, Jou and his wife conceived their ten children under a great sakura tree in mid-bloom. Every single one was born with pink hair, and so began the tradition of Haruno conceiving children underneath Sakura trees in bloom. For this reason, most pink-haired Haruno were all born around the same time of year, and held get-togethers on the first of April every year.

Eiji scratched his nose idly as he looked over to Sakura, who was currently sitting on one of the library's couches with Ino and talking about something. If he remembered correctly, she was born March 28th, meaning that she had to have been conceived late June or early July. She was living proof that the belief that conceiving one's child underneath sakura in bloom would result in a pink-haired child was at least partially incorrect.

She noticed him looking at her and she waved, giving him a friendly smile. He waved back excitedly, grinning like a fool.

Sasuke then decided to return from the bathroom, drawing Sakura's eye as soon as he was within her field of view.

Eiji look on at this sadly and returned glumly to his book.

Sasuke observed this interaction, groaning internally. Eiji turned into a completely different person when he interacted with certain members of the opposite sex. He became shy. Stupid. Weak. A stark contrast to his normal personality of dry wit and patience. According to Himawari, Itachi had been like this around her, though he had at least retained the dry wit.

Sasuke had trouble believing that Itachi was anything more than a murderer. A kinslayer that deserved nothing more than the most painful death imaginable.

Just thinking about Itachi made him want to hit something.

Move around.

Exercise.

Set something on fire.

Teach someone else to set something on fire.

Then laugh with them at the flaming object.

He stood up abruptly and started towards the library exit.

Naruto noticed him do so. "Where're you going, Sasuke?"

"Third Training Ground. I need to go set something on fire."

Naruto sat up. "Cool! Can I come?"

Sasuke did not stop walking. "No. Eiji, if you want to learn the Fireball Jutsu, then come with me."

Before Naruto knew it, Eiji was at Sasuke's side and the two exited the library.

Naruto shrugged and resumed reading about the two men in suits beating each other up.

* * *

The third training ground was usually closed off at night, but when had a fence and a sign ever stopped two kids that wanted to set things on fire?

"Wrong." Sasuke observed, pointing at Eiji's hands. He was using the wrong seal. For a boy with simultaneously stellar and terrible chakra control and almost completely uncontrolled chakra flow, hand signs were incredibly important, because they were the only things that were currently capable of ordering Eiji's chakra around.

Eiji's concentration faltered and he fumbled his hands into another seal.

"Wrong again. You want the tiger seal. Like this." He demonstrated the seal in question, bringing his hands together, crossing his thumbs, extending his index and middle fingers, and folding his ring and pinky fingers.

Eiji nodded nervously, rolling up his oversized sleeves and carefully putting the seal together.

Sasuke nodded approvingly. "Good. Now do as I do. Watch what my chakra does."

Eiji nodded and removed his forehead protector, stuffing it in his pocket.

Sasuke inhaled deeply, focusing his chakra in his lungs and throat. Then, he exhaled, blasting a massive ball of flame at some training dummies. They were incinerated.

Sasuke coughed up some soot. "Now you."

Eiji dug his heels into the soil, aiming at the sky so as to not hurt or damage anyone or anything important. He inhaled deeply, forming the tiger seal, and exhaled. Instead of a concentrated fireball, he spat out a wide swathe of flames, guiding it with the tips of his index fingers. He managed to maintain the stream of flames for five seconds before running out of breath.

Eiji coughed, desperate to suck down air.

Sasuke nodded. That was one hell of a first try. "Good, but try and concentrate it into a ball this time."

Eiji got dizzy and stumbled. He fumbled a chakra pill from his pocket and into his mouth, gulping it down.

Sasuke frowned. Those had to be addictive. But if he didn't use them, Eiji would be exhausted all the time and would faint if he did anything even remotely intensive.

Eiji stood up straight, regaining his composure. "Alright, gimme a few minutes."

Sasuke nodded. "Yeah, sure."

The two boys walked over to a large rock and sat down. Eiji had pulled his hair back in a ponytail so as to prevent accidentally igniting it.

Sasuke looked at the boy's eyes. One was white, a Byakugan with a slight red tint. The other was black, like Sasuke's. There hadn't been any trauma significant enough in the boy's life to trigger a Sharingan yet, but it was a dominant trait for the Uchiha. Then again, so was the Byakugan for the Hyuuga.

Sasuke briefly wondered why Eiji had one black eye and one white eye. He also wondered exactly what caused his chakra to run rampant the way it did. Sasuke had never asked Eiji before, so he decided to now.

"Hey Eiji?"

"Yeah?" Eiji looked over to Sasuke.

Sasuke pointed at Eiji's eyes. "Why is it that you have one Byakugan and one normal eye, and why exactly is it that you can't control your chakra flow?"

Eiji chuckled tiredly, then he looked towards the sky, single black eye reflecting the sparkling heavens above. "Which first?"

Sasuke contemplated that for a moment. "Chakra flow."

"Okay, then. After some DNA testing back when I was a baby, the doctors at Konoha Hospital found out I had something called Uzumaki Syndrome."

Sasuke scoffed. "What is that, you compulsively shout 'Believe it!' too much?"

Eiji laughed. "Heh, no, it's a very rare condition that affected Mito Uzumaki, the First Hokage's wife. Someone with that disease can't control their chakra flow, meaning that they use chakra all the time in every single thing they do, which is why I tire out so easily and run out of chakra all the time. They can control their chakra, mould it and perform nature transformations, but not how much of it they use."

"Huh. That sounds frustrating."

Eiji chuckled mirthlessly. "It is. You have no idea how many times I hurt my mom or some other Hyuuga that was babysitting me when I was a baby."

Sasuke leaned back, looking up at the stars. "That sucks."

"Yes it does. Comes with some advantages, though. Your body builds up astronomical chakra reserves to compensate for losing it so quickly. According to my grandfather, I have chakra reserves comparable to a jinchuuriki."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "What's a jinchuuriki?"

"Tell you later. Still, doesn't really matter if throwing a few punches or spitting out a fireball almost knocks me unconscious."

"Is there any effective treatment?"

Eiji nodded. "There are a few things to do. I've been taking chakra pills for a while now; that was my mom's idea. It's not a good solution in the long-term, so we've been looking for something permanent."

"Is that what those late-night discussions you've had with her are about?"

"Yeah. The problems with all the permanent solutions is how expensive they all are."

"Such as?"

"A few million Ryo for chakra-regulating implants."

Sasuke whistled. "Wow. That's a lot."

"Yeah, and I can't control the implants, so that option is out."

Sasuke had an idea. "What about fuinjutsu? Could you apply seals to your tenketsu or something?"

Eiji nodded. "That's actually what Mito did, sort of. She invented some kind of chakra storage jutsu or something called the Strength of a Hundred Seal. Supposedly, it was a little dot on her forehead that prevented her from wasting any chakra when performing jutsu, with any wasted chakra just going into the seal, which fed it back into her."

Sasuke sat up, looking at Eiji. "Then why haven't you done that yet?"

"My mom says there's only one ninja in the world since Mito who pulled it off, so it must be really hard, and any scrolls that would tell someone how to do it are in the ruins of Uzushiogakure." Eiji explained.

"How far away is Uzushiogakure? We could propose a mission to the Hokage, right? An expedition to recover lost jutsu, we could call it."

A grin crept across Eiji's face. "It's over in the Land of Whirlpools, if that map I looked at earlier is correct. Naruto would probably want to come, given that that's where the Uzumaki came from."

Sasuke waved his hand dismissively. "That's not too far away, and we could put up with Naruto. We could have his shadow clones our our things."

Eiji coughed. "I wouldn't want to leave my team alone for this one. Mayumi barely qualifies as a ninja and Kazuko's better at patching people up than hurting people."

"We could use a medical ninja with us in case someone gets hurt."

Eiji frowned. " But how are we going to get there? It's across a body of water. As far as I know, there isn't a bridge there."

Sasuke shrugged. "I'm sure there are boats we could hire."

Sasuke slapped his forehead. "Oh shit. I forgot we'd have to pass through Kirigakure."

"We could pass the mission off as a diplomatic mission. Maybe we could stick around and help them out with some things around the village."

Eiji paused a moment. "Did we just come up with a plan to fix me?"

Sasuke smirked. "I think we did."

Eiji paused again. "Wait, what rank would that kind of mission be?"

Sasuke began counting risks on his fingers. "Let's see. It involves huge potential for bandit attacks, we'd be transporting highly valuable and incredibly powerful jutsu scrolls, and we would likely meet with the Mizukage."

Eiji groaned. "So an A or S-Rank."

Sasuke exhaled. "Yep."

Eiji frowned, disappointed. "There goes that mission. Maybe I could convince my mom to propose it. She, Ryuji, and some other Jounin could go."

Sasuke had an idea. "Wait, isn't she on her way to Kirigakure now? Send her a messenger bird. Ask if she can poke around Uzushiogakure before she comes back."

Eiji smiled enthusiastically. "That's a great idea. I'll do that before we go home tonight."

The two boys lay there for a good while, drinking in the cosmic beauty of the stars.

Sasuke broke the silence."Hey, Eiji?"

"Yeah?"

"You didn't ever tell me why your eyes are like that."

Eiji sat up, sliding from the rock. "Oh, that's simple. Heterochromia."

Sasuke stood up and jumped off the rock. "You are just a bundle of genetic disorders, aren't you?"

Eiji laughed. "Hah! It really seems like somebody upstairs really didn't want Uchiha and Hyuuga having kids."

Sasuke smiled warmly, a rarity. "Yeah? Well, fuck 'em."

Eiji gave Sasuke a toothy grin. "Agreed. Fuck 'em."

It was times like these that Sasuke could forget all about Itachi and be happy about the family he had in Eiji, Naruto, and Himawari.

Eiji was the little brother he never had. The Sasuke to his Itachi. Sasuke himself wouldn't make that comparison, but the author would, given his knowledge of the future, past, and truths of this world.

Naruto was his rival. His best friend and greatest enemy rolled into one wonderfully and woefully annoying blonde kid. It was truly rare and special when you find a person that communicates that they love you by attempting to punch you in the face, and every man needs someone like that.

Himawari was Mikoto Uchiha's complete opposite; what Mikoto should have been but never was. Himawari was always doting on him, encouraging him, nurturing him. Being a mom. He couldn't remember the last time he really and truly thanked her for all she did for him. Perhaps he never had. He resolved to start doing that.

Then a salvo of shuriken came out of the woods and hit Sasuke in the back. He screamed and fell to the ground, convulsing in pain.

Eiji whipped his head around, looking in the direction the shuriken came from. Five ninja emerged from the woods. All five wore uniforms that mimicked the design of Konohagakure's perfectly, excluding the all-black color scheme. Their faces were covered by black shrouds.

The apparent leader of the ninja stepped forward. "I'll cut to the chase. We want your eyes."

Sasuke stood up shakily, Sharingan blazing. "You'll have to kill me, first."

The leader of the boys' assailants laughed. "That's the idea. We kill you, that activates Eiji's Sharingan, we kill him, then we take your eyes."

Eiji froze. He considered what was happening. This is his thought process converted into the English language: _Okay. So we know the following: There are five enemy ninja right now. Sasuke's fucked up. I'm emotionally compromised. I'm low on chakra pills and low on chakra. They know my name, probably both our names. They want our eyes. Looks like I've got three options._

 _Option A: Grab Sasuke and run._

 _Option B: Knock the enemy ninja out and interrogate them._

 _Option C: Kill the fuckers._

Then Sasuke fell back down and his Sharingan disappeared.

"Sasuke?" Eiji whispered.

He did not get a response.

Eiji immediately discarded every possible option but Option C.

The leader clapped, pointing at Eiji. "Oh, hey! Look at his eyes! Never seen that before. Looks like we won't have to kill the Uchiha brat first. The little one just-HORF"

Eiji punched the leader in the stomach with what would best be described as a roar, rupturing most of his internal organs and shattering most of the bones in his body.

The leader of the enemy ninja flew back into two of his subordinates with a sickening mixture between a splat and a crunch, killing both of them and knocking down a tree.

Eiji stood there, fist bloodied, teeth bared, and eyes recently hybridized into two Byaringan. Both of his eyes were now white with a black pupil orbited by a single tomoe. They blazed in unspeakable rage. Any and all rational thought was now gone, replaced by bloodlust and the desire to tear these ninja to pieces.

One of the two remaining ninja removed a large horn from his pouch and blew it, likely signalling reinforcements.

Eiji dashed to said ninja and ripped his arm off at the shoulder. The ninja screamed in pain before Eiji used the ninja's arm like a bat and swung it at his head. The result was a very messy decapitation, Eiji being splattered by blood and brains.

Eiji moved to the last one, a female.

She held up her hand and fell on her back, cowering in fear.

"Please!" She shouted, shivering in terror.

Looking at her, Eiji hesitated. Even in his blood-drunk state, he hesitated in killing a woman.

Eiji felt himself fading fast. He needed more chakra, and he knew every pill in his pouch wouldn't be enough this time.

Then he had an idea. An absolutely abominable idea fueled by bloodlust and an almost complete lack of chakra, but a coherent thought it remained.

Hyuuga could expel chakra from any and every tenketsu in their body, as well as surgically inject their own chakra into another's chakra pathway system. Who's to say it wasn't a two-way street?

He stumbled over towards the woman. Sasuke, not nearly as dead as Eiji thought he was, watching in morbid curiosity.

She tried to crawl away, but Eiji removed a kunai from his belt and jammed it through her leg and into the ground, pinning her in place. She howled in agony, a stray movement of her arm removing her shroud. Eiji walked up to her and looked at her.

She was a pretty woman with sweaty dark green hair and terrified purple eyes. Couldn't have been much older than twenty. Blood trailed down her leg where the kunai pinned her in place.

Eiji crawled onto her and placed his hand on her face, lining up the tenketsu in his fingertips and the tenketsu near her brain.

Then he began to drain her of her chakra.

She screamed at the sensation of having her literal life force drained from her, kicking and flailing with gradually weakening strength.

Sasuke looked on in horror. Chakra absorption jutsu existed and were used regularly. However, this was something different. Those jutsu absorbed another's chakra. It was impercise and nonlethal. This jutsu _leeched_ it. It sucked the person dry of everything they were and everything they could ever be. Their chakra was converted into the user's own and increased the user's reserves. Orochimaru described Yoroi Akado's use of his chakra absorption jutsu as "unholy." Had he been here to see this, he would have described it as "terrifying." Eiji was literally taking another human being's life and using it to increase his own power.

Sasuke, not being Orochimaru, just threw up and passed out.

The screams gradually became weak coughs and groans, and then subsided completely as Eiji vacuumed every last drop of chakra from her body. Her heart stopped beating and her chest stopped rising.

Eiji stood up.

He didn't need to turn around to see that reinforcements had arrived, his new Byaringan providing him an almost complete 360-degree field of view.

He was surrounded by eight more ninja, all clad in black. This time, none were female. One was armed with a spear, and another was armed with a sword. The rest were unarmed. This would be easy.

The following paragraph occurred in ten seconds.

He sped towards the one with the spear. The spear ninja jabbed frantically at him, but Eiji was far too fast. Eiji yanked the spear from his grip and swung the blunt edge around to the ninja's knee, shattering both the spear and the ninja's knee. He turned around and tossed the spear at another ninja, sharp edge first. The spear flew through him and pinned him to the ground. The remaining six ninja were momentarily stunned by what they had just seen: a small ten-year-old boy had just killed two chunin-level ninja with chakra-enhanced taijutsu. This distraction was long enough for Eiji to disarm the ninja with the sword, lop off his legs, and dismember two more ninja. He tossed explosive tags at the three remaining ninja, blowing their legs off.

Now, Eiji had eight more sources for more chakra. He sucked each and every one dry of every last bit of their chakra. Eiji Hyuuga had just created an A-Rank Kinjutsu usable only by the Hyuuga: The Chakra Leech.

Enemies gone, the bloodlust subsided.

Coherent thought resumed.

Eiji looked down at his hands. Both were drenched in gore, as was the rest of him.

He looked at the carnage around him.

He turned white as snow as realization set in.

 _Oh no._

He fell to his knees and began to cry, his body wracked by heaving sobs.

When Kakashi and Ryuji found the scene, having heard the screams and yells, Eiji had cried himself into unconsciousness.

* * *

 **A/N:** BOY HOWDY DID THAT END A LOT DARKER THAN IT STARTED OR WHAT

Anyways, Eiji's eyes are now symmetrical, which was something that was bothering me a lot. He also now has basically the reverse-equivalent of medical ninjutsu: the Chakra Leech. It's like what Cole Macgrath does in the inFamous games. The Bio-Leech.

The story's going to get darker from here. Lots darker. But it won't happen fast. Just like Sasuke, Eiji's affected by the Curse of Hatred, but it manifests more in forms of self-hatred than hatred of the world. He's never acted on those feelings, but now that he's got the blood of thirteen people on his hands, that might change.

On the subject of the Byaringan, it's just the Byakugan and Sharingan fused together. It has the abilities of both, but twice the chakra drain. Not fun. Speaking of chakra drain, I want to explain Uzumaki Syndrome. It's not common, it's actually incredibly rare, and it's a weird genetic disorder. Like a birth defect in the chakra pathway system. The Eight Gates are still there, but they're about as solid as Swiss cheese. Tons of holes. Lots of chakra slips through the cracks, which means lots of wasted chakra. Mito Uzumaki invented the Strength of 100 Seal as a workaround to eliminate the symptoms with some added bonuses. Instead of plugging the holes, it just reintroduces all wasted chakra back into the system. Not a solution, but a workaround that works better than a solution. Seems like that's just the way Uzumaki deal with problems.

Also, Eiji's super addicted to chakra pills at this point. Doesn't know it yet, but he is.

Got a song for Eiji's awakening of the "Byaringan." As per usual, take out the spaces and add a dotcomslash in-between the "youtube" and the "watch." Also as per usual, it's from Ryu ga Gotoku Ishin:

www . youtube watch?v = H48aWIEDg9E


	8. Chapter 7: Kirigakure Gaiden

**A/N:** I'll try and keep this one a bit lighter than the last one, but no guarantees. I write the notes at the top before I start writing and the ones on the bottom after I'm done.

I haven't said that I don't own Naruto in a while, so I'll say it again: I don't own Naruto.

So as to alleviate any potential confusion, this chapter starts a few days after the last one. I also went ahead and killed off Yagura and put Mei in office a few years early.

* * *

Chapter 7: Kirigakure Gaiden

Himawari Hyuuga was agitated. She had been this whole mission. She didn't like being away from her son. Naruto and Sasuke held very special places in her heart as well, and she would give her life to save either, but neither could compare to the instinctual maternal love she felt for Eiji. This made it all the more difficult when she had Palm Rotation Rasengan-ed her way across an ocean, as she was no longer on the same landmass as Eiji.

Perhaps it would be better if the author listed everything causing her agitation.

She was in Kirigakure. She did not like Kirigakure.

She was several days of travel away from her son, meaning that if he required an emergency chakra transfusion (something that happened if he ran out of chakra pills), he would only be able to get it from someone with the same chakra nature as him, which was someone with either fire or lightning. Anything else would be rejected by his chakra pathway system and send him into anaphylactic shock.

The current Mizukage was a friend of Himawari's (probably her best friend), but she was remarkably catty at times, and she was waiting in a chair outside the Mizukage's office right now.

She was away from her son.

She was having back pains again. Hyuuga men were the lucky ones. They got broad shoulders, v-shaped torsos, and large genitals. Hyuuga women were wide of hip, narrow of waist, and large-breasted. This meant Hyuuga men only had to worry about their tops having narrow shoulders and occasionally getting _something_ stuck in their zippers, whereas Hyuuga women often had chronic back pain once they began to fill out, even with a supportive bra. The watermelons on Himawari's chest did her no favors at present.

She was away from her son.

Himawari sat in the aforementioned chair, which was sitting outside the Mizukage's office. Specifically, it was to the left of a closed door in the middle of a long hallway. She tapped her foot impatiently. She just wanted to receive a list of targets from Kiri's Bingo Book, kill them, collect the bounties, then return home. She did not want to deal with Mei if she was in one of her moods again.

She scratched the back of her neck idly, wondering why Mei behaved the way she did. They had shared good times together before, which is why her behavior some of the time was so confusing. Himawari could sometimes neglect to filter her thoughts before she communicated them, so maybe she had said something stupid in the past, though that didn't typically happen when she was working. It couldn't have been age; Mei was only a few years older than her. Was it that she had a child and Mei didn't? Was it because she was more "well-endowed" than Mei? No, Mei was the Mizukage. The leader of Kirigakure. It couldn't be for reasons that petty. Himawari resolved to figure it out during this meeting.

Mind wandering, her thoughts returned to her kids that weren't her kids. Sasuke didn't like it when people mistook Himawari for his mother, and had corrected them every time without exception. Naruto took it a little better. He wouldn't overtly correct people. He'd just smile and say something sweet like, "Yeah, she sure acts like my mom," or "Yeah, she's basically my mom."

She grinned, remembering her applying kabuki makeup to every inch of his visible skin for his academy photo.

Himawari, remembering the late Kushina, felt somewhat guilty about that, but she couldn't help what he thought.

Far beyond the mortal realm and deep inside Naruto's seal, Kushina Uzumaki sneezed.

Then she thought about Eiji. She always thought about Eiji. He was growing so fast. Like her mother said once about her, she could practically hear him growing. She thought about his progress in learning the Gentle Fist, and she remembered beaming with pride when he had actually managed to knock her over during their first sparring session. Granted, she wasn't really putting up much of a fight, but he was _four_ at the time. When she was four, she could barely activate her Byakugan.

She grimaced. That had been the day she found out about Uzumaki Syndrome, and since that day, she had been specifically requesting missions in Kirigakure so she could scout the ruins of Uzushiogakure for a scroll that contained the instructions for the Strength of 100 Seal. As a Jounin and a Hyuuga of the main house, she'd been permitted to check Konoha's A Rank Jutsu, S-Rank Jutsu, and Kinjutsu Archives in search of such a scroll. Nothing.

Himawari rested her cheek on her fist and her elbow on her thigh. Perhaps she was going about this the wrong way. Maybe she had to find someone who already knew the jutsu and get them to teach Eiji. That meant finding Tsunade, because to the extent of her knowledge, there wasn't anyone else.

She made note to scout Tanzaku Town on her way home. Then she thought about Eiji again. She loved that kid so much she couldn't describe it.

The door to the Mizukage's office opened up. Chojuro popped his head out. He looked over to Himawari, eyes wandering to her large chest.

 _I didn't know they could get that big._ He thought, blood trickling from his nose.

Himawari snapped her fingers. "Hey. Eyes up here, boy."

Chojuro turned bright red. He wiped the blood away and pushed up his glasses, which had begun to fog up. "Uhh, sorry, ma'am. The Mizukage will see you now."

Himawari stood up with a huff, walking past Chojuro and into the office. It was wide and massive with a wide U-shaped desk. Mei sat behind it, playing with some potted flowers.

Mei gave Himawari a smile that would best be described as strained. "Himawari! Always an honor. Please, sit." She offered, motioning to a chair in front of the desk.

Himawari approached the desk and sat down. She deliberately neglected to bow her head. "Mizukage." Himawari deadpanned.

Mei narrowed her eyes."That's Lady Mizukage to you, Himawari."

Himawari cracked her knuckles idly. "And that's Lady Hyuuga to you, Mei."

Mei's eyes very briefly went to Himawari's breasts, which weren't exactly concealed by the loose kimono she wore and the mesh shirt beneath it. Her legs were slightly better-off, being covered with loose-fitting pants and further covered by an obi with an attached sash that covered her

Himawari realized that Mei was jealous of her form, deciding to wear even more revealing clothing for future missions to Kirigakure.

Mei leaned back in her armchair, idly fingering her bangs. "How's your son doing?"

In spite of herself, Himawari couldn't help but gush about Eiji. "Oh, he's doing wonderfully. One of the best students of his class at the academy. He's already got a handle on the Vacuum Palm, and he's expressed some very interesting ideas on creative uses of our kekkei genkai."

Mei looked at Himawari with legitimate interest. Non-combative uses for ninjutsu and chakra were always interesting. "Oh? Like what?"

Himawari looked longingly towards the Land of Fire, which one could see the shoreline of from the Mizukage's office. She smiled, thinking about her son. "When we're at home and he's doing homework or practicing hand seals, he'll tell me about potential uses for the chakra-transfer techniques the Hyuuga have. He theorized possible uses of the Gentle Fist of medicinal and therapeutic purposes. The kid's a genius."

Mei idly examined her fingernails. "Am I correct in remembering you saying that he was interested in kenjutsu? You should bring him out here for lessons sometime. Chojuro is quite skilled with the sword."

Mei's eyes flicked up from her fingernails to Himawari. "And perhaps I could teach him some Water Style techniques?"

Himawari realized that Mei was also jealous of her having a child, deciding to bring Eiji to Kirigakure when she next had a few weeks off.

Himawari exhaled loudly. "He's got lightning and fire affinities. Those don't mix well with _water_. Thanks, but no thanks. Kakashi Hatake can teach him Water Style, and if he shows interest after he has a handle on it, then _maybe_ we'll come to you. Might take you up on those kenjutsu lessons though, if Chojuro is sufficiently capable."

Mei twitched. "I assure you that we are both very capable."

Himawari blinked slowly and deliberately. "By capable, I mean 'can last more than one minute in combat with me' capable. I need to make sure he can hold his own against me if I let him anywhere near Eiji."

Chojuro turned white as snow. Only a few people had fought Himawari Hyuuga and lived to tell the tale. Among those included Kakashi Hatake, Ryuji Inazuma, Jiraiya of the Sannin, and Itachi Uchiha. Only the last of which actually managed to _win_. Kakashi had gotten off with a broken arm, the fight with Ryuji was just a training session, and Jiraiya hadn't been able to get an erection for months.

Mei stiffened slightly. "Enough pleasantries. Time to get down to business."

"That's something we can agree on." Himawari agreed.

Mei removed Kirigakure's Bingo Book from one of the many drawers in the desk, placing it in front of Himawari.

Himawari opened the book, scanning through it. She saw a name she didn't agree with. "Mei."

"Yes, Himawari?"

"Why is Kakashi Hatake in this book?" Himawari asked with a not insignificant degree of malice.

Mei sighed exasperatedly. "Yagura had him listed here. I've been trying to get his name removed since I got here."

Himawari's tone changed slightly, from overtly aggressive to threatening. "If his name is not stricken from the book when I return for my next assignment, I'll bring him here. We'll see what he thinks of it."

The sheer amount of killing intent radiating from Himawari was enough to make Chojuro hyperventilate.

Himawari looked back to the poor teenager. "Calm down, boy. I won't kill you, and neither would Kakashi. He'd probably just laugh."

Chojuro calmed slightly, breathing normalizing.

Himawari grinned devilishly. "What you'd need to worry about is if I decided to bring Ryuji Inazuma here. He's pretty calm these days, but then again, who know what would set him off? There wasn't enough left of the last guy that did to identify him."

Chojuro froze. He'd heard about the legendary and infamously brutal _Kumo no Ryu_ before, and what he tended to do to people who called him that. This was because the nickname _Kumo no Ryu_ implied that he was only the Dragon of Kumo, which conflicted with his belief that there should only be Dragon in the entirety of the Ninja World. Supposedly, he was decidedly less, evil, than he used to be, also supposedly because of another "Dragon" that had knocked some sense into him; taken him down a few notches. Chojuro wasn't a kid who listened to rumors or gossip, but those weren't mere rumors. They were cold, hard facts. Chojuro knew this because he had met this other dragon before on one occasion, and he was thoroughly convinced that that man was simply the most powerful chakra-user in the known universe. He wasn't exactly a ninja, as the majority of his techniques involved physical contact, but once he got in close, you were done for.

Mei stiffened. She looked as if she was about to say something, but decided against it.

Both were silent for a moment. Himawari spoke first. "Can we move on now, Lady Mizukage?"

Mei nodded. "Yes, Lady Hyuuga."

Verbal spar now complete (actual sparring was typically avoided, as the last actual combat the two engaged in led to a borderline cataclysmic incident affectionately referred to as Sunflower Sunday), Mei dug around in one of the drawers in the desk and removed Kirigakure's Bingo Book, dropping it in front of Himawari with a loud thump.

Himawari eyed the large book. "It's gotten bigger since last time."

Mei rubbed her forehead. "Zabuza Momochi resurfaced recently, and that seems to have inspired more than a few ninja from Kirigakure to jump ship."

"That's bad." Himawari observed. Zabuza was above her pay grade, otherwise she'd have gone after him back when Yagura was still in power.

Mei looked at the book tiredly. "At this point, 'terrible' would be an understatement."

Himawari decided to push her luck. "Any chance you'd let me go after him?"

Mei shook her head, bangs swaying. "No. Come back with Ryuji, Kakashi, and Guy. Then I'll think about it."

Himawari huffed. "Well, who am I getting saddled with this time?"

Mei scribbled down a name and passed it to Himawari. "Only one this time."

Himawari looked at the name. She paled. "You're having me go after Utakata, but _not_ Zabuza Momochi?"

"Himawari, I'll be blunt. I understand that even you could not kill someone like Utakata. This is not an assassination mission."

"Then let me ask you bluntly, Mei. What the fuck am I supposed to do with the Jinchuuriki of the Six-Tails?"

"Get him to rejoin Kirigakure."

Himawari stared at Mei in disbelief. "And how am I supposed to do that?"

"Talk to him. Explain to him that the Age of the Bloody Mist is gone. That Kirigakure is a village committed to reform and social equity."

"Any other unrealistic requests?"

Mei smiled coyly. "Maybe that the current Mizukage, a very attractive woman, is looking for a husband?"

In spite of herself, Himawari smiled. "You are absolutely incorrigible."

Mei chuckled, removing a small photograph from her bra. "I know. Here's a picture I took of myself last night. You are to give this to him."

Himawari looked at the picture. It was an image of Mei wearing no clothing and assuming a highly-seductive pose that still managed to conceal the "important" parts. She was blowing a kiss to the camera. " _This is waiting for you in Kirigakure_ _"_ was written in black ink in the lower right corner of the picture, accompanied by a blue lipstick kiss. The Mizukage's official seal was on the back of the image.

Himawari turned away in disgust. "Ugh, Mei, why? I didn't need to see that."

"But Utakata does. Get to it." Mei commanded, shooing Himawari away.

Himawari slid the picture into one of the pouches on her belt. "What am I getting paid for this?"

Mei smiled warmly. "I know you've been looking for instructions on how to create a Strength of 100 Seal."

Himawari's eyes widened. "You don't mean..."

Mei ducked under her desk and picked up a small scroll, laying it on the desk. "Yep. I got it. It was a few hundred meters underneath the old Uzumaki estate."

Himawari squealed girlishly and reached across the desk, squeezing Mei in a bear hug.

"Himawari-ACK" Mei choked.

Himawari squeezed tighter before letting go. "Thank you. Truly, thank you."

Mei coughed. "Get Utakata back here and the scroll is yours."

This interaction characterized the relationship between Lady Himawari Hyuuga and Mizukage Mei Terumi perfectly. They were friends and enemies. Frenemies, but better friends than enemies. They would punch each other at the drop of a hat, but each one would destroy whoever attacked the other. The author would use the phrase "Vitriolic Best Buds" to best describe their relationship. He trusts that his primary readership demographic understands this phrase, even if his parents wouldn't.

Himawari raised her thumb in affirmation. "He'll be back here and in your bed by tomorrow."

Mei grinned. "I'm counting on it."

Himawari turned towards the door, walking towards it. Chojuro opened it for her, face reminiscent of an eager puppy.

Himawari didn't even look at him as she passed through the doorframe. "Don't push it, kid."

Chojuro turned red.

Himawari exited the Mizukage's office and walked swiftly to the exit. Chojuro's eyes wandered again, eyes trailing down to the gentle swaying of Himawari's wide hips and generous backside.

Himawari stopped. "If you don't turn that stupid mug around and walk back in your boss's office in the next two seconds I will detonate your testicles. Do you want that?"

Chojuro squeaked and sprinted inside the Mizukage's office, accidentally running straight into a storage closet.

Himawari resumed walking away as Mei cracked up and began laughing uncontrollably.

Himawari smirked. She was almost always the most attractive person in the room, and she took a kind of perverse pleasure in turning everyone down.

She froze. It just occurred to her that if Eiji turned out to look like she thought he would, he'd have this problem even worse. She then remembered reading about testosterone and that men had up to twenty times the amount women did, and what that did to one's sex drive. A horrible thought occurred to her.

 _Eiji, please, please,_ _ **please**_ _don't become a slut._ She prayed silently, exiting the building by leaping from an open window and speeding through the trees.

Himawari, in her worries about her son's sex life, didn't notice a squad of rogue Kirigakure ANBU follow her out of the village.

* * *

Utakata was tired, as was understandable for someone who had been travelling all day. He'd been following a river for about a week now, and was starting to think that one of the times he'd let Saiken "drive," Saiken had accidentally switched rivers. Both of them had terrible senses of direction. His feet were sore, and his knapsack weighed heavily on his shoulder. It was times like these when his resolve weakened and he really regretted not staying with Hotaru in her clan's fort. As annoying as she was, she had offered him a place to stay where he didn't have to evade Kirigakure's Tracker Ninja all day and sleep with one eye open.

Then he remembered what the Tracker Ninja would do to him if they caught him off-guard, and he refocused on the path ahead of him, simply putting one foot in front of the other. He swatted at a bug that was buzzing around near his ear.

Utakata heard Saiken's voice rumbling in the back of his mind. _**You may wish to stop for the evening, Utakata.**_

 _I appreciate your concern, Saiken, but I'm okay. I can go for a few more miles._

 _ **No you can't. I'm having to supply you with my chakra. Look at your skin.**_

Utakata examined his skin, running his right finger along his left forearm. His index finger was covered in Saiken's signature corrosive alkali, and his skin was starting to grow pale.

 _Huh._ Utakata thought.

 _ **Utakata, you're about to pass out. Unless you'd like me to take over for a while and risk someone seeing us, you need to rest.**_ Saiken advised.

Utakata shook his head. _No, you're right. I'll stop for the day._

 _ **I swear, you're as stubborn as a child.**_ Saiken scolded.

Utakata examined his surroundings. _Anyone nearby?_

 _ **It would appear that it's just us.**_

Utakata sighed, relieved. He raised his pipe and blew a large bubble. Stepping inside it, the bubble carried him to the bottom of the river. He removed a blanket and a pillow from his knapsack. He rested his head on the pillow and covered himself in the blanket. He fell asleep in short order.

* * *

Utakata "awoke" in his subconscious, represented by a small underwater cavern. He really appreciated having a sentient being living inside him, as it allowed for uniqueexperiences like this. In the center of the cavern, a small boy sat at a table, fiddling with his necklace of blue prayer beads. He had a thick shock of white hair that came down to his thin, boyish shoulders and appeared to be soaked in slime. He had very pale skin, and large, wide light blue eyes. He wore a loose kimono that matched his eyes. It only covered up half his torso, and was tied at the waist with a white obi and a blue cord. On his legs were loose dark blue trousers, followed by simple straw zori on his feet. By human standards, he would be absolutely adorable, and many a woman would try to help him find his mother if they saw him wandering about town. Little would they know that he was Saiken, the Six-Tailed Slug given human form. When he saw Utakata, he grinned.

Utakata smiled. "Nice to see you again, Saiken."

Saiken grinned wider, showing perfect white teeth. "Likewise, Utakata."

Utakata sat down cross-legged at the table, opposite from Saiken. "The more I think about it, the more I question why tailed beasts and their hosts have had such difficulty getting along."

Saiken playfully flicked a bit of slime at Utakata. "Perhaps because you silly humans call us _beasts_. I assure you, we are every bit as sophisticated and intelligent as a human, if not more so. Well, excluding that brute Kurama."

Utakata chuckled.

Saiken clapped his hands together, sending slime flying everywhere. "Now then. Utakata, what would you like to do?"

Utakata shrugged. "How about we finish that game of Go?"

"I was hoping you'd say that." Saiken said excitedly.

Snapping his fingers, Saiken summoned a Go board, pieces appearing exactly where they were from the night before.

Saiken was about to set down a white piece when he froze.

Utakata frowned, confused. "Is something the matter, Saiken?"

"Someone's coming." Saiken said, not moving.

Utakata's eyes widened. "Wake me up."

Saiken nodded and snapped his fingers. The cave melted around Utakata, replaced by the bubble that he had fallen asleep in.

* * *

He felt a hand on his shoulder, and he was promptly yanked from the bubble and onto the riverside, landing on his back. He was absolutely drenched in freezing cold river water and his vision was blurry from the impact with the ground.

He coughed, sputtering and wiping the hair from his face. He wiped the water from his eyes and opened them, vision slowly stabilizing. When his vision cleared, he took a minute to parse what he saw.

 _Typical Hyuuga garb, Byakugan, giant breasts, hourglass shape, pissed-off expression._

 _ **It appears that we have encountered Himawari Hyuuga of Konohagakure.**_

 _Huh._

Utakata coughed, standing up. "If you've come to kill me, I would advise against it."

Himawari threw a low-powered vacuum palm at Utakata, blow-drying him.

Utakata blew a bubble from his pipe and examined his reflection in it, namely his newly blown-back hair. "Wow. I look good like this."

Himawari held up her hands. "Utakata, I'm not here to cross you off."

Utakata raised an eyebrow, looking up from the bubble. "Oh? Then why are you here?"

Himawari sighed. "The new Mizukage is offering you amnesty and a job."

Utakata's eyebrow twitched. "No thank you. I'm sure whatever old bag they got to replace that brutish child Yagura-"

Himawari laughed, removing a picture from a pouch on her belt. "Actually, Utakata, _this_ is the new Mizukage, and she wants you to be her, uh, consort."

Himawari handed Utakata the picture.

Utakata looked at it, seal of the Mizukage adorning the back of the photograph. That meant this was official. The Mizukage alone knew this fuinjutsu. Himawari was telling the truth.

He flipped the photograph over.

 _ **Utakata, if you do not take this job right now, you will regret it for the rest of your life.**_ Saiken all but commanded.

Himawari stood there for a moment, Utakata seemingly frozen. Then realization set in. His eyes widened and his cheeks flushed beet red. He covered his mouth with his spare hand and blood trickled down his knuckles from his nostrils.

Himawari put her hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently. "I take it that you're interested?"

Utakata nodded.

Himawari smacked Utakata's shoulder. "Good. Now follow me."

Utakata nodded again, placing the photograph in one of the inside pockets of his kimono and following Himawari.

The two were about to leap into the trees when Himawari stopped.

"Is something the matter?" Utakata asked politely.

Veins stretched from Himawari's pale lavender eyes. She had activated her Byakugan. "We're not alone."

 _ **The Hyuuga woman is right. I'm picking up several chakra signatures converging on this location. One of them is particularly powerful.**_ Saiken observed.

"How many-OOF" was all Utakata could spit out before Himawari grabbed him and yanked him to her feet.

"8 Trigrams: Palm Rotation!" Himawari shouted, spinning on the ball fo her foot and creating a dome of chakra between herself, Utakata, and a wall of shuriken that was flying at them from all sides. Many of the shuriken that the Palm Rotation deflected hit trees, but Utakata heard a few shrieks of pain as shuriken were deflected straight back at their owners. She maintained the dome only as long as she needed to, dissipating it after a few seconds.

They were surrounded by roughly 30 ninja in ANBU masks.

Kirigakure ANBU masks.

Himawari's eyes darted around, trying to make sense of the situation.

"I thought you said you weren't on an assassination mission." Utakata whispered.

"I'm not. I don't know what's happening." Himawari hissed back at Utakata.

Returning her attention to her assailants, she stood up straight. "I am on a mission from the Mizukage. Please explain yourselves." Himawari was as calm as she could be.

One noticeably scarred ANBU emerged from a thicket of trees, leaping from within a cluster of leaves. "We know that. Thing is, someone's paying us good money to kill you and kidnap the Jinchuuriki, so we don't really care what the Mizukage thinks."

Himawari laughed mirthlessly. "Hah! How deluded are you? You think you could take on a Hyuuga and the Jinchuuriki of the Six-Tails? With, what, maybe thirty people?"

The heavily-scarred ANBU snapped his fingers. Himawari counted at least 100 ninja emerge from the surrounding vegetation. "How about a hundred and thirty?"

Himawari grit her teeth. "Shit." This was bad.

The apparent leader of the Rogue ANBU removed a kunai from his belt and tossed it back and forth between his hands idly. "You're pretty nice looking. Some of the boys here might want to have some fun with you before we kill you. Hell, might even sell you as a slave. Somebody'd probably pay good money for a bitch like you. I know I would. Maybe we put out your eyes, break your hands, and throw you in as a bonus when we give our client the Jinchuuriki. Whaddya say, boys?"

Raucous howling and hooting was his army's response.

" _ **Amaterasu.**_ " Was another voice's opinion. Himawari's heart lodged in her throat. She knew she felt something familiar nearby, and she sure as hell recognized that breathy deadpan.

The leader of the Rogue Ninja erupted in black flames, his skin melting from his bones. Himawari and Utakata were immediately surrounded by a torrent of crows; a vortex of black feathers and _caws_ that obscured Utakata's vision and rendered both pairs of ears almost useless. What Himawari had the privilege of seeing with her well-trained Byakugan was a man in a black coat adorned with red clouds zipping around almost too fast for even her eyes to track, snapping necks, breaking bones, tossing shuriken, and spitting fireballs at her attackers, with one occasionally erupting in black flames seemingly at random. Neither Himawari nor Utakata could make out any coherent speech, but both heard screams and cries of pain best described as unholy. It was enough to make even him cringe, and he was a battle-hardened Jounin.

After about two minutes, the screams subsided, replaced by groans of agony, which were in turn quickly silenced, accompanied by the sounds of snapping necks and slashed throats.

The crows dissipated.

Himawari's eyes widened as she looked around. What used to be a riverside meadow had been reduced to a blood-slicked battleground. Shuriken and kunai stuck out of the ground and almost every still-standing tree nearby. Piles of ash and gore were strewn about shredded and burnt grass, scorched rocks, and dead bodies.

She blinked in rapid succession, tears coming to her eyes as unbidden images of the Uchiha Massacre flooded her mind. Images of blood-slicked streets and dead Uchiha, and of poor little Sasuke, who was a gibbering mess for days afterwards, though she hadn't fared much better in her ex-lover's Tsukuyomi.

Laying in a pile of ash that used to be the commander of the Rogue Ninja was a small box. She approached the pile and picked up the box, examining it. It was a simple lacquered mahogany cube that had no visible openings. Shaking it resulted in rattling noises, telling her that it contained something. It was noticeably redder than other types of mahogany she'd seen. A message was etched across what she guessed was the top.

 _To be opened by our son, when he can see all of creation without obstruction._

Himawari choked back a sob, the small box confirming what really didn't need confirmation.

"Fuck...Itachi..." She choked out, tears streaking down her face.

Utakata, all but forgotten by Himawari, was unsure as to what he should do, so he simply sat down to wait. As a jinchuuriki and a highly-skilled ninja, he had gotten quite used to destruction and carnage. He was largely desensitized to battlefields and their gory aftermath. This, however, was not a battlefield. It was just a gory aftermath. It hadn't been so much a battle as a massacre, and if his powers of deductive reasoning were even half-reliable, then this butchery was taken out by a single person.

Himawari composed herself, wiping the tears from her face and stuffing the small box in a large pouch on her belt. She had a mission to complete, and she was going to complete it with conviction. For Eiji's sake.

She turned around and walked over to Utakata.

"I take it you know the man who did this?" Utakata asked, motioning to their surroundings.

Himawari helped him up. "He's the father of my child." She said blandly, not looking at him.

Utakata paled. " _Oh._ " It was all he could say, really, given the enormity of the situation.

Himawari coughed. "Yeah. Well, let's get you back to Kirigakure. You've got a Mizukage to fuck."

In spite of the circumstances, Utakata blushed. "Erhm, yes."

The two leapt into the trees. Orbs of red and black watched them go from afar.

The orbs of red and black narrowed. _Deidara will pay for this_.

* * *

 **A/N:** I just can't seem to stick with a consistent tone. Starts out light and gets super dark before the chapter ends. The idea for Saiken's human design came straight from Amadere on DeviantART. She does some neat art, and I really like her Saiken design. The art in question is called "Rokubi Human Design." Go take a look.

No music for this chapter, unfortunately. If this bit was in the canon anime, I wouldn't have any music playing during Itachi's taking out the Rogue Ninja. Just fluttering crows and bloodcurdling screams.

And I really just can't get enough of hot mom jokes with Himawari. Thanks to the Westermarck Effect, Naruto, Sasuke, and Eiji most of all, can't see Himawari as physically attractive (also because the latter hasn't hit puberty yet, but really just the Westermarck Effect), but damned near everyone else does. I'd see it as a gender-inverted Sasuke-with-every-girl-ever-but-not-Hinata dynamic. Similarly, I really like the idea of Himawari having a "catty-BFFs" relationship with Mei. Mei was pretty one-sided as a character, and she didn't really interact with other women in a non-professional environment from what I remember of her. I imagine her to be one of the highly-competitive Alpha Female types that ends up either butting heads or making friends (both in Himawari's case) with all the other Alphas, like Tsunade, Himawari, and Kurenai.

Sorry about the delay between updates. This was really hard to write, primarily the introduction of Utakata. Anyways, we're back on track. You're welcome to review this, too. In fact, I'd request that you do, even if just to tell me you like it. Hell, even if just to tell me you hate it. Just make sure to tell me why and how you hate/like it. Quality can't improve if nobody tells me where I fuck up.

 _~Essence of Clotheslining_


	9. Chapter 8: Hospital Blues

**A/N:** Back to Konoha. I wouldn't call this a filler chapter, because important stuff happens, but there isn't that much drama.

Also, HOLY SHIT WE'RE ALMOST AT 3,000 HITS. I don't get why nobody is reviewing, though. At this point, I'd even be satisfied with flamers. Then I'd know it's good enough to validate stupid jackasses coming to insult it. As I've said numerous times, I can't improve if nobody calls me out when I fuck up.

In personal news, I've just grown out a beard. It's neat.

~Essence of Clotheslining

* * *

Chapter 8: Hospital Blues and S-Rank Fuinjutsu

Kazuko tapped her foot anxiously. The elevator was moving far too slowly for her taste. She fiddled with her grey sweatshirt. It was around six-thirty in the morning, and she was bringing Sasuke Uchiha in for a chakra transfusion at Konoha hospital on her parents' orders. He didn't need one, but his nephew Eiji did. When she came by Himawari's apartment half-an-hour earlier, Naruto had insisted on coming too, even though he only woke up when Sasuke was about to walk out the door.

To her left, Sasuke yawned. "So Lord Hiashi's chakra didn't work?"

Kazuko shook her head. "Neither did Hinata's."

Sasuke frowned. "That's disconcerting."

Naruto yawned, still in his pajamas. "How can a chakra transfusion fail?"

Kazuko brushed a strand of silver hair from her face. "We don't really know. We've only had a three patients on record that have ever rejected a chakra transfusion, including Eiji."

Sasuke rubbed his eyes. "Did they happen to check those patients for Uzumaki Syndrome?"

Kazuko nodded. "Yes. Both patients had it, so we're thinking this might be a symptom of that disease."

"What happens if the chakra doesn't get removed?" Naruto asked, curiosity overcoming his sleepiness.

"It's not good. If we don't remove Lord Hiashi's chakra soon, the tenketsu will lock up permanently and destroy themselves. We used the tenketsu in his right hand for the last transfusion. If we let the chakra stagnate there any longer, he will be unable to mould chakra with his right hand, and he'll have to learn to use one-handed seals and won't be able to use any Jutsu that requires two hands."

Naruto flinched. "Yeesh. That sounds painful."

The elevator door opened. Kazuko rushed out of it. "I imagine it is. Come on!"

Naruto and Sasuke followed closely behind her. "What room are we looking for?" Sasuke asked.

Kazuko scanned the numbers of the doors to her left. _301, 302, 304, 305, 306, 307..._

Kazuko stopped. "Here it is. 308."

Sasuke skidded to a halt, rubber-soled sandals squeaking on the polished floor.

Naruto, wearing slippers, didn't fare as well. "WhoawhoawhoahelpSasuke-agh!" He shouted, sliding along the ground and flying way past the door.

Sasuke groaned and rushed over to Naruto.

Kazuko shook her head in frustration and entered Eiji's room.

Kazuko's parents, Sayuri Hoki and Shinji Kurama, were working on him. Sayuri was the Medical Ninja. The doctor. She was an ectomorphic brown-eyed woman that kept her silver hair tied in a messy bun atop her head. She ran the hospital, performed complex surgeries. Healed people. She was a kind woman that, like her husband, loved her daughter to pieces. Shinji was a bit stranger; more eccentric, but still a very nice man. He was shorter than Sayuri with large blue eyes, a well-groomed beard and short brown hair. He wore a large pair of glasses that seemed far too big for his face, as he was always having to push them back up. As a member of the Kurama Clan, he specialized in genjutsu. Specifically, medical genjutsu, a field that his father pioneered. He weaved illusions that helped sufferers of PTSD, depression, bipolar disorder, and nearly every other mental illness under the sun, which was an incredibly valuable skill in a society in which PTSD was almost universal among Jounin. To invade people's heads for a living and help them work through their most personal problems every day by appointment with an average of ten completely unique 45-minute appointments per-day, you needed to have a "unique" mindset. Shinji possessed such a mindset, which led to some odd behaviors. Still, he loved helping people, in spite of his rather timid and strange nature. The result of the union between these two individuals was little Kazuko, a timid wallflower with poor eyesight, prodigious chakra control, and a desire to help people.

Sayuri looked up from a clipboard. "Kazuko! Good morning."

Kazuko smiled. "Hello, mother."

Shinji looked up from the book on chakra he was pouring over and pushed up his glasses. "Kazuko, it's good to see you, but where is the Uchiha boy that we asked you to bring here?"

As if on queue, Sasuke walked in behind Kazuko.

Shinji smiled awkwardly. "Oh. There he is."

Naruto walked in after him. "Hey, docs!" He mumbled quietly, rubbing his eyes with a yawn.

Shinji's smile faltered. "Oh. The Uzumaki boy as well."

Sayuri looked at Naruto, then at Kazuko. "Kazuko, why did you bring...him?"

Sasuke stared daggers at Sayuri. Kazuko found his black eyes to be highly unsettling. "Eiji is my nephew, Naruto's friend, and is like a brother to both of us. His mother was our legal guardian before we graduated from the academy. He's family. I'm sure you can understand Naruto wanting to check on him."

Kazuko nodded in agreement, silently thankful for Sasuke's boldness. Her parents had forbade Naruto from visiting Eiji the previous few days, as anyone who didn't know the boy would. However, now that he was an adorable little blond kid with whisker marks and pajamas and _just the most squeezable cheeks in the world_ and not just a name with a bunch of incident reports attached to it, they couldn't turn him away.

Sayuri walked over to Naruto and came down on one knee. She smiled, maternal instincts kicking in. "You look tired, sweetie. Do you need a place to sleep?" She asked Naruto, rubbing his shoulder.

Naruto shook his head, yawning. "No. I need to be awake for when Eiji wakes up."

Kazuko looked over at Eiji, who was laying in bed, still as a corpse. In spite of the poor circumstances, Kazuko still appreciated this opportunity to really get a good look at him. His deep black wavy hair had a sort of purple pearlesence to it, and in its current state of being pulled back, she could get a good look at his skin and facial structure. His skin was the color of milk, the typical skin tone of both the Uchiha and Hyuuga. His face was somewhat feminine, like Sasuke's, but he possessed a narrower and slightly more pronounced jawline and slightly chubbier cheeks than his uncle. She thought he was cute, adorable, even, if not the most handsome individual. Not her cup of tea, so to speak (she preferred men that looked like men, not Bishonen types), but there was no denying that he was attractive in his own way.

For a ten-year-old.

Shinji looked to Eiji. "That might be in just a few minutes, or it might be a few hours. It largely depends on if this transfusion works."

Kazuko removed her sweatshirt and hung it on a coat hook, walking over to the left side of Eiji's bed. "Did you remove Lord Hiashi's chakra?" Kazuko asked, examining Eiji's hand.

Sayuri nodded. "Yes, we did. Eiji's chakra is circulating normally again."

"Good. Can we perform the transfusion now?" Kazuko asked her mother.

Sayuri nodded. "We can."

Sayuri looked over to Sasuke. "Are you ready, dear?"

Sasuke nodded and walked over to Sayuri and Mayumi. "So how does this work?"

Sayuri offered her right hand to Sasuke. "Take my hand."

Sasuke obliged, placing his left hand in Sayuri's right.

Sayuri grabbed Eiji's hand, then looked over at Sasuke. "One, two-deep breath, Sasuke-three."

Sasuke breathed deeply. His breath hitched as his hand flashed and was enveloped in deep purple energy, and he suddenly smelled woodsmoke. It passed from his hand into Sayuri, who stiffened in response. It passed through her and into Eiji, at which point it was absorbed into his hand.

Sasuke shook his head. "That felt weird."

Sayuri shivered, looking at Sasuke. "Your chakra is...cold. That's quite unique."

Sasuke looked up at Sayuri boredly. "I don't care. Did the procedure work?"

Sayuri's eyebrow twitched infinitesimally, which was something only her daughter picked up. Kazuko guessed that right about now was when her mother was realizing that in spite of all the stuff Naruto has done to antagonize the village, Sasuke was the one with issues. Even if he was a bit dull, Naruto was a good kid. Sasuke was the problem.

Kazuko put her hand over Eiji's right hand. "He seems to have accepted it. "

Kazuko looked over to Shinji. "Father? How's his mental activity?"

Shinji walked over to the other side of Eiji's bed and placed his hand on Eiji's head. His eyes went black momentarily before color returned to them. "Not enough brain activity to place him under a genjutsu."

Sayuri grimaced, looking at Sasuke. "It looks like the transfusion succeeded, it just didn't wake him up."

Shinji frowned, removing his glasses and cleaning them with the sleeve of his coat. "That's disappointing. Sasuke's chakra seemed to be the most similar to Eiji's. The only other two people we could try are the parents."

Sayuri folded her arms. "Itachi is out of the question, and the last call we received from Ms. Hyuuga said she'd be here this morning."

Naruto yawned again, having curled up in an armchair in the corner of the room. "With Auntie Hima, that could mean she'll be here at 7:00 A.M or P.M."

Kazuko raised an eyebrow. "Is she truly that inconsistent?"

Sasuke chuckled darkly. "For Eiji's third birthday she forgot to buy him a cake until the literal last minute. Dragged all the kids attending his birthday party, myself included, to Konoha Supermarket during their summer solstice sale. I remember her punching out some guy that wanted the same cake as Eiji. It was hilarious."

Kazuko's eyes widened. From the talks she'd had with Sasuke, Eiji seemed to have some mild issues with punctuality, primarily around waking up in the morning, but nothing _that_ bad. "Wow. That's, that's something else."

Sasuke shrugged. "Eh. To be fair, she was only nineteen at the time. She's twenty-six now."

Kazuko said nothing, but ran the numbers in her head. Eiji was ten, and his mother was twenty six. Had Himawari really conceived Eiji when she was just fifteen? Itachi Uchiha would have been only fourteen, maybe fifteen, at the time.

Sayuri began checking Eiji's heart with a stethoscope. "Speaking of Ms. Hyuuga, I'm guessing that she's the only one that can wake him up, so we'll just have to wait."

Fortunately, they did not have to wait long. Every occupant in the room, bar the one in a coma, heard a loud explosion from the hallway, followed by rapid footsteps that got louder and louder.

Then the door to Eiji's room reopened, and a very tired and dishevelled-looking Himawari Hyuuga entered the room.

Naruto's eyes shot open. "Auntie Hima!" He shouted, running over to Himawari.

She knelt down and caught him, squeezing him tightly and kissing his forehead. "I missed you so much, sweetie, but right now, Eiji needs my chakra."

Naruto let go, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "Uh, right."

Himawari stood up and walked over to Eiji's bedside. She clasped his hands and began transferring chakra into him. The sheer volume of chakra she was pouring into him made her chakra perceptible even to non-sensor types. Himawari was enveloped in a pale blue aura that would occasionally flicker with purple and the scent of vanilla filled the room.

Kazuko sniffed the air. The odor and color of a person's chakra were typically quite telling of who they were. Himawari's chakra being a calming baby blue in color and smelling of vanilla signalled a highly nurturing personality, and the flickers of purple were something that all of Hiashi Hyuuga's daughters had. Nobody really knew what it was. Sasuke's, on the other hand, was seemingly unique. She had never seen a purple of that shade before. More disconcertingly, she had never heard someone describe another's chakra as feeling cold before. Sasuke seemed decent enough, if a bit detached. His chakra said something else entirely. She'd have to ask her father about that, as he performed all the psyche evaluations for potentially troubled individuals.

Kazuko looked over at Himawari. She'd never seen the woman before, but she'd heard patients and doctors alike around the hospital who had spoken of her unrivalled beauty. If an older person was involved in the conversation, they would almost always argue that Tsunade Senju was better-looking. Kazuko had no stake in this feud, but from where she was, she found it difficult to believe that anyone could surpass Himawari, though that could be because she had never seen Tsunade Senju before.

After a minute or so of a transfusion of incredible amounts of chakra, as Eiji's chakra reserves were gigantic, veins appeared around Eiji's right eye and his eyes shot open. His left eye, which had previously been just a black void, was now a deep, blood red with a black pupil orbited by a single tomoe.

Eiji sat straight up with a yell. He looked around in a panic, and saw his mother. He realized he was safe and grabbed Himawari, pressing his face into her shoulder. Normally, his doing this would have snapped her spine or ruptured several internal organs. However, he was still tremendously weak from three days of doing nothing, so Eiji was about as physically strong as Rock Lee, opposed to his normal Might Guy.

"Mom, there was so much blood..." He choked out, tears streaming down his face.

Himawari picked Eiji up and squeezed him tightly. "Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Your first kill is always hard. I'm so sorry it had to happen now."

"At least you awoke your Sharingan." Sasuke deadpanned, shrugging.

Eiji sniffled and wiped his tears away. "Sasuke, you're alive?" Eiji breathed.

Sasuke nodded. "I am. Kakashi and Ryuji heard the noise and found us. Took us back here and patched me up. Aside from the chakra deficiency, you were fine. They just washed you off and stuck you in bed."

Kazuko shuddered, remembering the evening he was brought in. She had never seen so much gore in her life.

Eiji clenched up, rubbing his left eye. "Wait, did you say I awoke my Sharingan? Is that why my eye hurts so much?"

Himawari removed Eiji's hand from his face, examining his eye. Kazuko caught a very brief look of shock on Himawari's face, followed by one of disgust. "It's awful that it takes stuff like _this_ to awaken the Sharingan."

Sasuke looked at Himawari dryly. "It is what it is."

A beat.

Shinji and Sayuri, who had been standing stiff as boards on the other side of Eiji's bed, decided to use the lull in the activity to resume working.

Sayuri looked back at her clipboard, scribbling something down. "Well, now that Eiji's awake, we'd like to keep him here for a day or so for-"

Himawari turned away, Eiji still in her arms, and exited the room. Sasuke looked at Naruto, and the two shrugged and stood up, following Himawari out the door.

"Miss, you need to sign the-"

*boom*

Kazuko heard what sounded like another wall coming down.

Sayuri sighed. "I'll get the discharge papers?"

Shinji sat back down at the small desk in the room with a groan. "I'll forge Ms. Hyuuga's signature."

Kazuko looked out the door just in time to see Himawari, Sasuke, and Naruto jump out of the building, where a wall used to be.

Eiji had quite an interesting mother.

* * *

Himawari sat on the couch in her living room, drinking highly-caffeinated tea and examining the box her ex-lover had given her.

 _To be opened by our son, when he can see all of creation without obstruction._ The top of the box said.

She turned the box around in her hands, occasionally shaking it. "Come on, Itachi. You gotta give me more than that. The hell does that even mean?"

She had an idea. She activated her Byakugan, trying to see inside the box. It failed, but she saw incredible amounts of chakra emanating from the box. It felt a bit like Itachi's, but also a bit like that other Uchiha boy Itachi would always hang out with, Shisui.

She frowned, remembering Shisui. He was a sweet kid, but he was a bit too sweet around Itachi for her taste.

Himawari frowned. She was still a bit of a teenage girl, even all these years later. Itachi had dozens of girls, and boys, throwing themselves at his feet, and yet, he had chosen her, even over Shisui and the other girl, Izumi. Even with a child by Itachi, and Itachi himself a traitor to everything she stood for, she still felt those pangs of jealousy around Izumi and Shisui.

She smiled, remembering how hard she blushed and how insecure she felt when she learned Itachi swung both ways, so to speak. She was much more mature now, but back then, as an insecure seventeen-year-old mother, it had been somewhat hard to stomach. Shisui was a remarkably handsome and highly-capable shinobi, and Izumi was so beautiful it had made her almost throw up to learn that she would be competing with her for Itachi's affections. She still didn't understand why Itachi had picked her, and, again, in spite of Itachi's betrayal and all the terrible feelings it had left her with, he had also given her Eiji, for which she would be eternally grateful to the powers that be.

"Mom?" She heard Eiji whisper quietly.

She turned around, long hair swishing over her shoulder. "Eiji, it's six in the morning. You should be in bed. Sasuke isn't even up yet."

Eiji walked over to the couch and sat down with a groan. "I've been in bed for four days. Naruto and Sasuke have already completed their first few missions with Kakashi Hatake. I need to catch up."

Himawari smiled and put her arm around Eiji's thin shoulders, kissing his head. "You'll have plenty of time to do that. I was a Genin for five years before I hit Chuunin."

Eiji frowned. "But I don't want to be a Genin for five years. Genin aren't taught anything good. You already taught me the basics when I was a little kid. I know how to walk on walls and water."

"Eiji, I love you dearly, you're still a little kid. If you want, I can arrange some private tutoring so you can get ahead, but for now, you haven't completed a single mission."

"Which is why I need to catch up with Naruto and Sasuke!" Eiji shouted.

"Keep your voice down, Eiji. Naruto and Sasuke are trying to sleep."

Eiji huffed and crossed his arms. "Naruto wouldn't wake up if I stabbed him with a kunai." He hissed quietly, obliging by his mother's request.

Himawari sighed, crossing her legs and placing the box behind her back (Eiji hadn't noticed it yet, thankfully). "So, what did you want to talk about?"

Eiji looked down at his feet for a moment, then back up at her. "Mom?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

Eiji cocked his head to the side. "What was my dad like?"

A pause.

"I'm assuming you're asking about what he was like _before_ he murdered the entire Uchiha clan, right?"

Eiji nodded. "Yeah."

Himawari sighed. "Itachi was a lot of things. He was pretty quiet; didn't talk to people much. He believed in world peace, and I still think he killed off his clan because they were disturbing the peace too much. That was his favorite word, actually. Peace, I mean."

Eiji nodded, enthralled already.

"Of course, if he did destroy the Uchiha just because they were starting to cause problems, then I think he went about it the wrong way. We had you." Himawari ruffled Eiji's hair.

Eiji looked confused. "Me? What could I have done?"

"It wasn't what you could have done so much as what you are. You're half Uchiha, half Hyuuga. Half of you is what used to be the most hated clan in Konoha, and the other half of you is the chief authority in Konoha, the strongest clan in the village. You could have bridged the gap between Konoha and the Uchiha."

Eiji nodded slowly. "That makes sense, I guess. What about Itachi, though?"

Himawari idly nibbled on a fingernail. "Right. What else do you want to know?"

Eiji shrugged. "I dunno. What do you know about him? Anything helps."

Himawari cocked her head to the side. "Helps with what?"

Eiji looked at her with large, mismatched eyes. "Knowing who I am."

Himawari smiled again, hugging Eiji. "Your lineage doesn't define who you are. Look at me: I've got tons of misdemeanors under my belt from my teenage years. The people down at KMPF know me by name. The current chief was given a brief on me before she took over."

"KMPF?"

"Konoha Military Police Force."

Eiji's eyes widened. "Oh."

Himawari folded her arms. "My point, Eiji, is that I may be Hyuuga, but I don't act like it, because I don't let the family reputation define who I am. If you're worried about people judging you because of Itachi-"

Eiji held up his hands. "No, not at all. I just wanted to know what he was like."

Himawari looked absently to the ceiling for a moment, having lost her train of thought. "What have I told you about him so far?"

"That he was a quiet guy that wanted world peace."

Himawari nodded slowly. "Oh yeah. He was really different than the rest of the Uchiha, and not at all like the guys your grandfather had lined up for me. He was really sweet, once you got him talking, but that was the hardest part. He could only really relate to people as strong as he was."

"Were you one of those people?" Eiji asked.

"He seemed to think I was, because you were conceived the day we met."

Eiji turned red. "Ugh, gross."

Himawari laughed quietly. "He was a good father for the time he was around. He always remembered your doctor's appointments and was fiercely protective of you."

Himawari chuckled. "I remember when one other kid bit you when we were in a meeting for underage parents, Itachi manifested Susano'o on the spot and destroyed part of the building."

"What's a Susano'o?" Eiji asked.

Himawari shrugged . "I dunno. Some Uchiha giant chakra avatar thing. I'll look it up. Anyways, he was a good dad when he was here."

A beat.

"Hey mom?"

"Yes, Eiji?"

"What happened to dad? Why did he destroy the Uchiha?"

Himawari thought for a moment. "Do you remember your Uncle Shisui? Curly hair? Really fast?"

Eiji shook his head. "I remember the name, but nothing else."

 _I suppose that's for the best_. "I think it was when he died." Himawari pondered.

"What happened?"

Himawari had learned very early on that being completely straight with your kids was the best way to talk with them about death. "He killed himself, but the Uchiha blamed your father."

Eiji looked very confused. "Why would he do that? That doesn't solve anything."

Himawari shrugged. "I'm not really sure why. That was one of the few things your father wouldn't tell me. His suicide note said that he was disappointed with the Uchiha. Maybe he did it so he could die as a free man and not as a weapon of war, where he would be forced to fight his friends. Maybe he did it so he could make your father stronger by awakening his Mangekyou Sharingan. I'm truly not sure, Eiji."

Eiji paused for a moment. "Mom?"

Himawari chuckled. So polite. "Yes, Eiji?"

"Would it be possible to perform jutsu without any hand seals?"

Himawari rested her chin on her fist. "Hyuuga are really Taijutsu-centric, but I know a few jutsu that don't require them. We're having Kakashi Hatake over for dinner tomorrow, or today, actually, so maybe you can ask him then for ones I don't know."

Eiji nodded. "I still have trouble with hand seals. Could you maybe teach me some of the jutsu you _do_ know?"

Himawari bit her lower lip. "Most of them require massive chakra reserves or incredible chakra control. You have the reserves, but not the control."

Eiji frowned. "I freakin' hate Uzumaki Syndrome"

A figurative lightbulb flashed on above Himawari's head. She grinned the sort of grin a mother gives her chronically ill son when she is about to present him with the cure. She grinned, standing up and walking over to the kitchen counter, where the scroll Mei had given her lay. "Well, Eiji, I might have just found a solution to that problem."

"Hey mom?" Eiji asked.

"Yes, Eiji?"

"What's that little red box?"

 _Fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck._ "That was something your father left you." She lied, returning to the couch, small scroll in-hand. Like most Jounin, she could lie without her biometrics changing, so her son's eyes, as powerful as the were, probably hadn't picked it up.

"What's that scroll?" Eiji asked, having seemingly forgotten the box.

Himawari resumed her smile. "This, my dear boy, should tell us how to create a Strength of a Hundred seal."

Eiji's eyes widened to a comical degree. "Let's do it now."

Himawari grinned, opening up the scroll.

Her grin turned to a frown. "I'm not sure if this will work."

Eiji looked shocked. "Why?"

"The scroll says that the user has to focus their chakra to a singular point in the center of their forehead head for a long time in order to form the seal. You can't control your chakra, Eiji."

Eiji thought for a moment. "After the seal is formed, it effectively regulates the chakra pathways system, right?"

Himawari nodded. "That's what the scroll says."

"And the seal also stores chakra too, right?"

"Right."

Eiji tapped his forehead. "Then how about this: We form a seal on my forehead and link all of my tenketsu to it. It fills up, and once it's full, we have a knock-off Strength of 100 Seal that refills itself, and bam. My chakra-enhanced everything is now controllable even when the seal is empty and you won't have to pay for new furniture every time you wake me up early."

Himawari grinned. Her son was a genius, she was sure of it. That guy who assessed him was just wrong. "What do you want the seal to look like?"

Eiji thought for a moment. "Whatever the scroll says it's supposed to look like."

Himawari nodded, flicking through the required hand seals. She pushed through his thick hair and placed her index finger his forehead. She was enveloped in vibrant blues again and the scent of vanilla filled the room. She felt felt her chakra reserves almost disappear instantly. Her vision went blurry.

Eiji offered her a chakra pill, likely having seen her reserves drop with his Byakugan. "Here, mom."

Normally, she wouldn't accept prescription drugs from someone else, but this was so her son didn't have to take the damn pills anymore, so she bit the bullet and accepted the pill, swallowing it.

She felt instantly revitalized, pushing more chakra into forming the seal. She put another hand on his heart, the Eighth Gate, and sent a tendril of her own chakra through his body, running it through all of his chakra points at blinding speed and linking them all the way. She brought the tendril of chakra up to Eiji's forehead and cut the tendril off from her hand, leaving it in place.

She grabbed Eiji's hand. "Eiji, I need your help for this one. Grab my hand, the one that's on your forehead." She grunted, exhausted by the effort.

Eiji nodded and placed his hands on his mother's hand.

"Good, now just pump as much chakra as you can into me. I'll keep you awake with my own, but we're trying to do a few years worth of work in a few minutes, so I'm gonna need some of yours."

Eiji nodded and focused his chakra as best he could into his hands. He was immediately enveloped in a blinding white aura that would occasionally flicker purple. Himawari had never actually smelled her son's chakra before, and was surprised by her nose told her. She had expected her vanilla or the Uchiha clan's woodsmoke, but, instead, she got what would best be described as a leathern musk with hints of cedar. She made note to look up what that meant later. Right now, she was focused on fixing her son's chronic illness.

Both of them began to glow brighter and brighter. Eiji flinched and hissed in pain as a small rhombus began to form on his forehead. To the few people that were up and about already, it looked as if a star had situated itself within Himawari's living room.

Himawari spared a moment to look down at the scroll in her lap. It said that she had to keep focusing chakra until the seal was fully formed, which was a supposedly painless process if done over the course of several years, and labelled as "extremely painful" if one were to do it instantly.

Eiji's Byakugan began to glow white, as did the almost-formed rhombus in the center of his forehead and the sclerae of his Sharingan. He began to scream in pain.

Himawari tried to jerk her hand back, but her son's iron grip kept it in place. "I can take it!" He shouted.

Eiji roared; quite the feat for a prepubescent boy. The entire building shook. Later, Himawari would find out that the entire village experienced a 5.2 earthquake with their apartment building being the epicenter.

Eiji quickly swallowed another chakra pill with his mother's assistance and the his aura pulsed, glowing even brighter.

Sasuke exited his room. "What the-" Sasuke stopped mid-sentence, eyes widening at the spectacle before him.

After two long, painful minutes, the seal became fully formed. The light and Eiji's pained expression disappeared, along with the veins around his right eye and the Sharingan on his left.

Both lay there, panting. "Hey, Sasuke." Eiji greeted tiredly, waving his hand lazily at Sasuke.

"What's going on, and why is your Byakugan turned off?" Sasuke asked, understandably confused.

Himawari sat up, wiping the sweat from her forehead. "We just performed an S-Rank fuinjutsu. Look at Eiji's forehead."

Sasuke walked over behind the couch and leaned over Eiji, pushing his hair out of his face. "Is that a Strength of a Hundred Seal?"

Eiji nodded, Sasuke's finger following its movement. "Uh-huh."

Sasuke raised both eyebrows. "How the hell did you two manage that?"

Himawari tossed Sasuke the small scroll. "This little lifesaver." Himawari said. She was not a mother that had much concern about foul language in her household.

Sasuke caught it, and began to read it. "Uhh, guys?"

"Yeah, Sasuke?" Eiji exhaled.

"This scroll says that if an Uchiha touches it, it will-"

The scroll caught fire and burned to pieces in an instant, leaving Sasuke nothing but ashes.

"-self-destruct. Huh. Must not have activated because you aren't 100% Uchiha."

Eiji and Himawari looked at each other, then at Sasuke, then back at each other.

Then they burst out laughing.

Himawari stopped first. "It's fine, Sasuke. We got what we needed out of it."

Sasuke wiped his hands clean. "How did you even get the scroll in the first place?"

Eiji looked at his mother with legitimate curiosity. "Yeah, mom, how exactly did you get it?"

"I found a concubine for the current Mizukage, Mei Terumi." Himawari was not an individual that danced around something she did not want to say.

"What's a concubine?" Eiji asked innocently.

Sasuke forcefully applied his clean palm to his forehead with a loud smacking sound. "I'll leave that one to you, Himawari." Sasuke said tiredly, walking back to his room to get dressed for the day.

Himawari sat up, brushing the hair from her face. "Eiji, I've talked to the three of you about sex before, right?"

Eiji nodded. "Yeah."

Himawari exhaled loudly. "Well, sex is a powerful motivator. People like it a lot and will do stupid things to get it. This time, we used it to get the Jinchuuriki of the Six-Tails to rejoin Kirigakure."

Eiji shrugged. "Well, that's good, but what's a concubine?"

"In this context, it's a person who has sex with another person as their job."

Eiji raised an eyebrow. "I thought that was a prostitute."

Himawari was regularly stunned by the capabilities and knowledgeability of her child, for both better and worse. "Prostitutes are single-time services. A concubine is more of a spouse that isn't officially a spouse. It's often seen as an occupation, which is why I described that way, but it's more so being a person's dedicated long-term sexual/romantic partner. In this case, it's a diplomatic thing. It's complicated."

Eiji nodded in understanding. "Oh. Okay. That makes sense, I guess."

A pause.

"Mom, can I see that box now?"

Himawari sighed and grabbed it, handing it to her son. He read the top carefully.

"I don't get it." He stated.

Himawari realized that she was more worried about the box than he was.

"I don't either. Maybe it has something to do with your Sharingan?" Himawari suggested.

Eiji shrugged. "I don't know. If stress makes this thing get stronger, I don't think I want it to get stronger."

Himawari nodded in approval. "That's a good attitude to have."

Himawari stood up with an exhale, helping Eiji up immediately afterward. "Naruto's on vacuum duty this week, right?" Himawari asked, Eiji being the one that was better at remembering schedules.

Eiji nodded. "Yeah, which means it's my turn again."

Himawari scratched her head. "I'll see if I can get him motivated with a trip to Ichiraku. That usually works. You just go and rest now, sweetheart. Let that seal fill up."

Eiji grinned, hugging his mother tightly. "Skinny ten-year-old" tightly, not "Taijutsu Master" tightly. "Thanks, mom."

She ruffled his hair. "Don't mention it, kiddo. Now go rest. Doctor Hoki came by last night and told me that you aren't allowed to do anything physically strenuous for the next few days."

Eiji yawned "You don't need to tell me a third time, mom."

"Go on, scoot." Himawari scolded playfully, walking over to her bedroom to get dressed for the day.

Eiji nodded and walked back to his bedroom and shut the door.

Himawari smiled to herself. Eiji's life was about to get a whole lot easier. Then she laughed to herself. Naruto had _slept through the whole thing_.

* * *

 **A/N:** A lot lighter than I expected it to be when I started. Also, I know this may seem like a bit of an ass-pull or a bit too strong of a jutsu to be giving Eiji already, but right now, all it does is regulate his chakra where his tenketsu don't. It took a hell of a lot of chakra to create the seal and it will take even more to fill it up. He also doesn't know what to do with it yet or any of its associated jutsu. Contrary to Himawari's beliefs, his life is actually going to get a whole lot harder. He's been using chakra-enhanced everything for years now. He's going to have to adjust to having a normal human's field of vision. Also, because of that chakra-enhanced everything, he never really developed any musclemass. Eiji's thin as a twig. He'll have to eat less because he isn't burning calories by just sitting there anymore. He's never had to learn how to turn his chakra on before, so this is gonna be one rough adjustment period.

~Essence of Clotheslining


	10. Chapter 9: Nightmares of Sunflowers

**A/N:** The chapter that proves I am Itachi/Konan trash. Sorry that it's so short.

I'm gonna go ahead and plug Hokage Tower again. It's a neat forum. Check it out.

* * *

Chapter 9: Nightmares of Sunflowers, Dreams of Angels

Even genjutsu specialists can't control their own dreams.

" _Hey. You. Ponytail. Creepy eyes."_

" _Hm?"_

" _Yeah, you."_

" _This is the men's side of the Hot Springs. Can I help you with something?"_

" _I was gonna ask you the same thing."_

" _Why is that?"_

" _You look sad."_

" _Heh, yes, I'm told that a lot."_

" _Well, are you?"_

" _Am I what?"_

" _Sad."_

" _Who's asking?"_

" _Himawari Hyuuga."_

" _Well, Ms. Hyuuga, I'd prefer not to talk about it."_

" _Liar. You want to talk about it."_

" _Why am I a liar?"_

" _You flinch up for just a second before you lie."_

" _I haven't known any Hyuuga to be that emotionally perceptive."_

" _I'm not most Hyuuga."_

" _I suspect you already know my name, Ms. Hyuuga?"_

" _Uh..."_

" _It's alright, Ms. Hyuuga. My name is Itachi Uchiha, as I'm sure you are already aware."_

" _Uhh..."_

" _You've been watching me from a distance for some time now. Why is that?"_

" _Well, erm..."_

" _Come, we'll talk about it over lunch."_

" _O-okay."_

* * *

" _Man, we really painted Tanzaku Town red, didn't we? Your Sharingan sure fuckin' helped with the kunai toss."_

" _Himawari, they disqualified us for using our eyes that way."_

" _You. They disqualified you."_

" _Are you forgetting that you picked a fight with him after he disqualified me?"_

" _Hey, that was self defense."_

" _He told me I was disqualified and you vacuum-palmed him into his own stand."_

" _I was defending our honor. I'm tellin' you, it was completely justified."_

" _..."_

" _..."_

" _Himawari, we are extremely drunk."_

" _*hic* You got that right."_

" _I know a place we can stay."_

" _Itachi, I'm gonna throw up now."_

" _Wait, what?"_

* * *

Lust, arousal, and happiness unlike any other before or after.

* * *

" _The test came back positive. We're going to be parents."_

Pure joy.

 _"I'm excited too, but calm down, Itachi. The whole neighborhood is going to hear you."_

" _Right. What are we going to name them?"_

" _I was thinking Haru if it's a boy."_

" _Haru? Sunshine? That's a pretty name."_

" _Think it's too similar to Hinata?"_

" _Maybe just a little. We've got lots of time to think about it."_

" _Itachi, what are we going to tell our families?"_

" _That we're going to be a family and anyone who disagrees with it can kiss my Fireball Jutsu."_

" _I love you so much."_

" _I love you more."_

" _You gonna prove that to me, Mr. Uchiha?"_

" _Why is it that you make sex a competition? You still haven't outlasted me so far."_

" _A girl can try."_

* * *

" _We're going to have a son? I don't know how boys work and you're always gone. What am I going to do?"_

" _You'll be a great mom, Himawari."_

" _Eiji."_

Confusion.

" _What?"_

"' _Great Peace.'"_

" _Yes, I know what it means. What of it?"_

" _Eiji."_

Realization. Joy.

" _Eiji!"_

* * *

" _Itachi, what's wrong? What happened to your eyes?"_

Despair.

" _Shisui is dead."_

" _What? What happened?"_

" _He killed himself."_

" _Why?"_

" _Someone stole one of his eyes."_

" _Who?"_

" _Doesn't matter."_

" _I'll find out who it is, Itachi. Then I'll kill them."_

" _Himawari, no. That will only escalate the problem."_

" _How could it get worse?"_

" _I killed two Uchiha."_

" _What the fuck Itachi why?"_

" _They said I killed him."_

" _Did you?"_

" _No!"_

" _I need you to get Eiji and Sasuke somewhere safe. Somewhere not even I will be able to find them."_

" _Itachi, what are you doing? Where are you going?"_

* * *

" _Itachi, why?!"_

" _Himawari, I told you to go hide."_

" _Why are there dead Uchiha everywhere?! Why did you kill your parents?! Your family?! Even Izumi!"_

" _I did it to test myself."_

" _You flinched. You lie. I'm going to beat the truth out of you, you lying traitor!"_

Despair. Complete and total despair.

" _ **Tsukuyomi**_ _."_

* * *

Itachi sat up in bed. He was covered in cold sweat. Tears ran down his face. Suddenly, a hand was on his shoulder. Round, amber eyes met his own.

"Nightmares?" The angel asked.

A nod.

The hand squeezed his shoulder.

Itachi lay back down. "I saw her again."

Itachi felt the form to his right stiffen.

"She was with the jinchuuriki of the Six-Tails."

"Is that why you failed to bring him back?"

Another nod. "It is."

"Himawari Hyuuga is the current guardian of the Nine-Tails jinchuuriki, which is a far greater prize. If we lose the Rokubi in the moment and gain information that leads to the Kyuubi's capture, that is an acceptable loss."

"They were attacked by one-hundred and twelve rogue ninja mercenaries disguised as Kirigakure ANBU. Deidara hired them."

"Is that why he was wearing an eyepatch over his left eye?"

"It is."

"That is acceptable punishment for defying a direct order from Pain."

Silence.

The amber eyes blinked. "How did you know they were hired by Deidara?"

"The leader had orders written in Deidara's hand."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this in the official mission briefing?"

Silence.

The angel squeezed Itachi. "I suppose it doesn't matter. I know now."

Silence.

Itachi locked eyes with the angel. "Konan?"

"Yes, Itachi?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Nagato loves you. It's obvious. Why me?"

Konan rested her head on Itachi's chest, entwining her legs with his. "Because I do not love Nagato. I love you. Do you love me, or are you still infatuated with that Hyuuga woman, even after all these years?"

Itachi began to tear up again. "I do love you, but I still feel something for her. I hate feeling this way."

Konan pointed to Itachi's eyes. "Would you mind activating your Sharingan for a moment?"

Itachi nodded. His eyes emitted a red glow, illuminating both of their naked forms. Itachi blushed, still a bit of a boy, even in his mid-twenties.

Konan produced a sheet of paper and quickly molded it into a Wasurenagusa, a flower that represented true love in Hanakotoba. She handed it to him. "Itachi, I came to you because, unlike most of the men in this blasted world and almost every other member of the Akatsuki, you want peace. I have never doubted your desire for true peace since the day I met you. Yahiko was the only other man I have known that truly desires that peace."

Itachi wiped his eyes. "What about Nagato?"

"Nagato is gone. I see that now. Now, there is only Pain."

Konan cupped his face in her hand. "You're a good man, Itachi. There are precious few of those left in the world."

Itachi smiled sadly. "I do love you, Konan."

"And I you, Itachi, but you really must stop doubting yourself."

Itachi shrugged.

"Itachi, to be blunt, I wouldn't still be here if I didn't love you. I'm not that kind of woman."

"And I am not that kind of man."

They lay there a while, simply enjoying each other's embrace. Itachi's Sharingan traced the gentle curves of Konan's slender physique. She was not quite as "stacked" as Himawari was, but, in Itachi's eyes, Konan was just as beautiful, if not more so.

He smiled, tracing his hand along her side and around her navel. Then, his hand trailed up her body to her chest, fingering the piercings in _other_ parts of her body. "You know, I really do love your piercings."

Konan chuckled quietly. "There's a strange kind of humor to be found in this situation."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"We're both feared by the world as being murderous rogue ninja. If only they could see us now."

He laughed quietly. "I'm glad they can't."

In the blink of an eye, Konan had straddled his waist. Her face was inches from his. She grinned seductively. "Myself as well, especially considering our present circumstances."

Itachi's heart pounded in his chest, and only thumped faster and faster the further they "progressed."

Had the room not been soundproofed years ago, the two lovers would have kept any other human being within a mile awake. And that was really saying something, considering how quiet and outwardly unemotional both of them normally were. They made love vigorously and generously for the next hour (allowing for prodigiously short refractory periods) before collapsing in a sweaty heap and falling asleep in each other's embrace.

* * *

Even genjutsu specialists can't control their own dreams.

The first night she visits, he is startled. A flutter of paper in the middle of the night, and, suddenly, she was there. She wore no clothing save for minimalist underwear, but for a kunoichi who could turn any and every part of her body into a weapon, that was no real hindrance to her. Itachi initially believes he is under the influence of a genjutsu. He asks her as such. She shakes her head, approaching him and cupping his cheek in her hand. A kunai is at her throat before she can react. No words are exchanged, she simply lowers it gently, and presses her lips gently upon his.

The kunai hits the floor, as does their clothing.

When they are finished, they hold each other.

* * *

When he awakes in the morning, she is not there. There is no proof of her having been there. He initially thinks it was only a dream. He cries for minutes. He gets dressed and exits his quarters.

When he returned at the day's end, she was there again.

Come the morning, she remained.

Joy.

As the days turn to weeks, they began to talk. About their pasts, about their childhoods, about their loves lost, revealing things to each other that neither should have. They would make love and talk late into the night. Both were very emotionally-scarred. Both were lonely, sexually frustrated, and highly physically attractive. Both were peaceful and gentle by nature, but lived in a world of war. They kept each other sane in an organization filled with madmen and killers. Being together kept the nightmares at bay and allowed them to look forward into the future, to a world full of life and love, without the horrors both had endured.

* * *

 **A/N:** I really like these two together. I don't know why, I just do.

This was mostly expository, so as to explain why Itachi and Konan were, as Kisame so eloquently put it, "fucking."

Itachi and Himawari resulted in Eiji, but they weren't really super well-matched. Himawari is very domineering and aggressive, and Itachi is pacifistic by nature. Had the Uchiha Massacre not occurred and the two of them gotten married, they probably would have gotten divorced after a while.

This was also really really REALLY hard to write, so I'm sorry if it's terrible.

~Essence of Clotheslining


	11. Chapter 10: Maternal Angst

**A/N:** I think I should clarify a couple of things. The Massacre happened when Sasuke was four, meaning that the trauma from the event is much deeper, but he's had much more time to heal. He's a jerk, but still retains his good heart. Because of Itachi's increase in age, he also fought in the Third Shinobi World War, the horror of which led him to his belief in pacifism.

Also, because Eiji now has the Sharingan, expect him to take full advantage of its copying abilities. Expect Sasuke to do that too, way more than in the main series. It always baffled me that he didn't just copy shit more, like what Kakashi did. I mean, if you could copy Hiden jutsu, why in the world wouldn't you do it?

* * *

Chapter 10: Maternal Angst

Himawari walked up to her apartment door. Eiji, Sasuke, and Naruto especially went through food so quickly that she frequently had to go to the grocery store early in the morning. It was hard to wake up so early, but she'd gotten used to waking up early and quickly. When Eiji was a baby, he'd had night terrors almost every night.

Himawari opened the door to her apartment, stepping inside.

"Hey, mom." She heard Eiji say.

She looked around. She couldn't see him. "Eiji? Where are you?"

"Up here, mom."

Himawari then noticed a curtain of black hair that looked as if it was just floating in the air. Her eyes followed it upwards, tracing the hair back to its source. Eiji was sitting on the ceiling, reading a book. She was quite proud of her son's affinity for books. He was always reading something, and what exactly he was reading varied by the day. Today, it was a book about chakra control.

Himawari cocked her head to the side. "Eiji? Why are you on the ceiling?"

"He's practicing chakra control." Sasuke said, who was etching the Uchiha Clan symbol into a bundle of kunai.

She activated her Byakugan, examining his chakra pathway system. He was swirling his chakra in a tight spiral and appeared to be controlling his chakra flow manually, something that even some Chunin had trouble with. "Wow. How'd you pick that up so fast?"

He looked up from his book and pointed to his Sharingan. "I watched Sakura for a while. She's really good with chakra control."

"I thought the Sharingan could just mimic jutsu." Himawari said, walking over to the kitchen and unloading the groceries.

"He's combining it with the Byakugan. It's yielded some really interesting results, like mimicking chakra control." Sasuke explained, setting aside a finished kunai and grabbing another one.

"And besides, I can't really use jutsu right now." Eiji noted.

Himawari frowned. "Yeah, sorry about that."

Eiji shrugged. "Eh. It's fine. I can make do with taijutsu and shurikenjutsu."

Sasuke idly scratched his nose. "Pfft. Yeah right. You're terrible with shurikenjutsu and you're as thin as a twig. That seal on your forehead is sucking up all your chakra and preventing you from fighting effectively."

Eiji responded by tossing a kunai straight at Sasuke, who caught it mid-air without even needing to look up.

"Aim a bit to the left next time." Sasuke suggested, tossing the kunai back to Eiji.

"I should only be handicapped until the seal fills up." Eiji explained, tapping the black rhombus on his forehead.

Sasuke blew on the kunai he was etching, lodging metal filings in the carpet. "And how long is that going to last?"

Eiji turned a page. "A couple years, probably. That's what the Hokage said, at least. I should be able to perform jutsu without any wasted chakra after that, though, so I think it's worth it."

"What about the chronic migraines? You gonna deal with those for a few years too?"

Eiji sighed, flipping the page. "Only as long as you and Naruto feel like giving them to me, Sasuke."

Himawari smiled, shaking her head as the two boys continued their little verbal spar. She was in the presence of Genin that were more powerful than most Chunin and even some Jounin (that goober Ebisu came to mind). Even Naruto, who most of the village held to be an idiot, had enormous amounts of latent potential, and even more chakra. His mother Kushina had been a prodigious and highly creative fuinjutsu specialist, and his father was Minato Namikaze, the Fourth Hokage and the fastest shinobi in history. Granted, all he really knew was the Shadow Clone jutsu, but it was an incredibly versatile jutsu that allowed a shinobi with massive reserves to fight a war of attrition against a much stronger foe. She suspected that by the time he hit Chunin, he would be capable of defeating her in a fight, assuming he used his head.

Speaking of which, Naruto exited his bedroom, still in his pajamas. "Oh, hey Auntie Hima." He greeted tiredly.

Himawari walked over to Naruto, somewhat concerned by his tone. "Naruto, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." He said.

Himawari frowned and crouched down to his height. "You don't sound alright."

Naruto yawned. "Team 7 has only had D-Rank missions so far, and the only one we've actually done together is find some stupid cat. They aren't even really missions."

Himawari ruffled his hair. "I'm sure whoever hired you for that mission is very grateful to you for finding their cat."

Naruto removed her hand. "I want to get stronger. At least Eiji's team is getting missions that help him get stronger."

Eiji reached under his hoodie and scratched his back. "Naruto, your missions are easier and you get paid more. All we've done is farming, and I don't tan. Besides, Mayumi does most of the work. That girl is monstrously strong for as thin as she is."

Himawari looked up at Eiji. Contrary to what Sasuke had said, Eiji's muscles were becoming quite well-defined from all the farm work. "Oh, stop complaining. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? You're the most muscular ten-year-old I've ever seen.

Eiji frowned. "Mom, you know I really don't care about how I look."

Himawari frowned. Eiji hadn't been like this before his Sharingan was activated. He was always humble about his looks, but he'd never been self-deprecating before. "Well, you should. You look great."

Eiji turned red, burying his face in his book.

Himawari sat down on the couch, Naruto doing the same. "Those muscles have practical applications too, Eiji."

"And he only gets to use them for farming." Sasuke stated bluntly.

All three boys looked to Himawari. "Mom, I think I speak for all three of us when I say that we want higher-ranked missions."

"Yeah! We're better than D-Rank!" Naruto agreed.

"Eiji and I are. You, not so much." Sasuke taunted.

Eiji sighed. "Come on, Sasuke..."

"You wanna say that again?!" Naruto growled.

Himawari snapped her fingers. "BOYS."

All three kids looked at her.

She sighed. "Look, I understand that D-Ranks are boring. They're supposed to be like that. The way that the Genin/Chunin/Jounin system is designed makes some incorrect assumptions, among them that all Genin are of the same skill level."

The three boys were silent.

"If you're asking me to use my influence as a Main-Branch Hyuuga to get you higher-ranked missions, the answer is no. D-Ranks are awful, but they build character."

Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Uh, actually, I, heh heh heh, uh..."

Himawari looked at Naruto skeptically. "Naruto, is there something you're not telling me?"

Sasuke flicked his hair out of his face. "The little idiot got the Third Hokage to give us a C-Rank mission yesterday, about the only thing he's done right so far."

Naruto groaned. "Sasuke, I was waiting to tell her until we finished the mission!"

Sasuke folded his arms. "And have her not know where you were for a week?"

Himawari looked almost afraid. "What does the mission entail?"

Sasuke stood up and removed a small scroll from his pocket. "We're to escort a bridge-builder named Tazuna to the Land of Waves."

Himawari paled. "Will you have a Jounin with you?"

Naruto nodded, grinning. "Yeah! Kakashi-sensei!"

Himawari groaned. " _Kakashi?_ Are you kidding me?"

Eiji closed his book and dropped to the floor. "Oh, he isn't that bad. He seemed pretty friendly when we had him over for dinner the other night, and he was a really good sport about you sending him flying out the window."

Himawari grumbled something unintelligible. Kakashi may have been one of the most highly-skilled shinobi she'd ever known, but she didn't like him. Never had, never would. Possibly because he had murdered her best friend. "Eiji, I love you, but you don't know Kakashi like I do."

Sasuke finished etching another kunai. "Himawari, we don't need to know him. This is a C-Rank mission with minimal risk of enemy ninja."

Himawari sighed, defeated. "When exactly is this mission?"

Naruto grinned wider. "Today!"

Himawari put her hand to her forehead. If this was the kind of stress these boys would put her through with _every_ mission, then her hair would go grey within the month. "I expect letters every day."

Naruto nodded. "Of course!"

Himawari looked to Sasuke tiredly. "Sasuke, you'll write too, won't you?"

Sasuke waved his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah."

Himawari stood up and walked over to her bedroom. "I need to go lay down now."

Naruto looked concerned. "Are you okay, Auntie Hima?"

Eiji tugged on his mother's sleeve. "Mom, is something wrong?"

Himawari nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay. You three are just growing up so fast."

Himawari walked into her bedroom and locked the door. She walked over to the window and opened it, leaping from it and propelling herself across the rooftops of Konoha. She activated her Byakugan and scanned the village.

 _If I were Kakashi Hatake, where would I be right now?_

* * *

"Good Morning, Kakashi! What can I get you?" Inoichi greeted cheerfully. A common trait of the Yamanaka, Inoichi was a cheerful man, sometimes sickeningly so for a jaded man like Kakashi. Still, Kakashi appreciated his cheerfulness today.

Kakashi yawned. "The usual."

Inoichi nodded. "Ino!"

Ino popped out from behind a particularly large flower pot. "Yeah, dad?"

"Gonna need a dozen Shion flowers for Mr. Hatake."

Ino nodded enthusiastically. "On it!"

Kakashi removed some ryo from his wallet. "Will twenty-five ryo be enough?"

"These are for Rin's grave?"

Kakashi nodded.

Inoichi sighed. "That's a shame. I was hoping that you'd found a lady friend when you bought those sunflowers the other day. It would take your mind off of Rin."

Kakashi groaned. "Not you too, Inoichi. I was under the assumption that women were the gossipers."

Inoichi ignored that jab.

Ino skipped up to Kakashi and handed him the flowers. "Here you go!"

Kakashi smiled underneath his mask. "Thank you very much, young lady."

Kakashi turned back to Inoichi. "So, twenty-five ryo?"

Inoichi smiled. "They're free if you promise to come back for some roses later."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What for?"

"For that Hyuuga woman."

"How much to get you to never mention it again?"

Inoichi huffed. "Just take the flowers and go, Kakashi."

Kakashi sighed. "Thanks."

Inoichi grumbled something about Kakashi being hopeless as the latter exited the flower shop.

A few minutes later, Kakashi had made his way to Konoha Cemetery. He made the trip every week he could, ever since Rin died. He knew the way to her grave by heart.

Kakashi placed the bouquet on the aforementioned late kunoichi's grave.

He smiled sadly underneath his mask. "Morning, Rin. Doing well?"

Silence.

Kakashi sat down with a groan. "I'm fine, thanks for asking."

More silence.

Kakashi crossed his legs. "Well, I've got a Genin team now. They're a bunch of idiots, Naruto especially, but they've already completed a few D-Ranks missions, and we're going to be going on our first C-Rank mission later today. Some greasy bridge-builder wants an escort to the Land of Waves."

Kakashi heard rustling in the trees behind him.

"Hello, Himawari." He said, not turning around.

Feet hit the ground. "Kakashi."

"How have you been?" He asked amiably.

"Better than Rin and Obito." Himawari snapped, jerking her thumb in the direction of the Memorial Stone.

Kakashi stood up and turned around. "You want something, Tits McGee?"

Himawari's eyes darted to her breasts, then back up to Kakashi. "You're going with your team on the mission to the Land of Waves, correct?"

Kakashi nodded. "I am."

"I was in Kirigakure recently."

Kakashi removed the latest _Icha Icha_ novel from his back pocket. "I heard. You got Utakata to rejoin the village. Good job."

Himawari walked up to him and slapped the book away. "Fucking listen to me, Kakashi."

Kakashi coughed boredly. "I'm listening."

"Zabuza Momochi was recently sighted near Kirigakure."

A beat.

Kakashi's eye widened. "Is this public knowledge? Should I inform the Hokage?"

Himawari shook her head. "No. The citizens don't know. There'd be panic."

"Okay, so I'm guessing you want me to keep the kids in the dark about this, right?"

Himawari nodded. "And you're going to keep my boys safe."

It was not a question.

Kakashi blinked. "Their parents may be dead, Himawari, but Sasuke and Naruto aren't yours. Naruto's a Genin and Sasuke has mastered the Fireball jutsu. In the eyes of both of their respective clans, they're adults."

Himawari frowned. "They're kids and you know it."

"I know that they're Genin, which makes them legally responsible for themselves. Technically, they're just living with you."

Himawari's eye twitched. "I mean it, Kakashi. I get that they need to learn what pain is like, but I swear, more than a few scratches-"

"I'll guard them with my life." Kakashi promised.

Himawari turned to walk away before turning back to Kakashi. Tears were beginning to well up in her eyes. "You fucking better."

"I will."

Himawari _shunshin-ed_ away. Kakashi sighed and sat back down at Rin's grave.

"Sorry about that. You know how Himawari gets."

Silence.

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, she was always too emotional for a Genin team. Hell, I don't need to tell you that, you knew her best of all of us. You two were best friends. Heh, remember the time she locked you and Obito in a storage shed overnight?"

More silence.

Kakashi stood up, dusting himself off. "Well, I think I've taken up enough of your time, and besides, I gotta get my little troupe of idiots to the Land of Waves soon."

Kakashi turned to leave, picking up his book. His eye wandered to the Memorial Stone, then down to Obito's goggles.

 _I won't let the same thing happen to my team, Obito, I can promise you that much, at least._

* * *

 **A/N:** Now we're starting to get somewhere. For the most part, these chapters have been about explaining who the original characters in this story are, and what the changes to canon are. I've been trying to establish where everyone is and who knows who. Now, we're going to start getting to the good bits.

Thanks for your patience,

~Essence of Clotheslining


	12. Chapter 11: The C-Ranked D-Rank

**A/N:** Kakashi is such a great character, probably the best character in the whole series.

This chapter is primarily about getting to know Eiji better. Lots of introspection. The first few chapters of this story have likely suffered from Early Installment Weirdness, to borrow TV Tropes' term for it. I took a good while and thought about it, and I now know what the moral of the story will probably be and I know who I want Eiji to be at this point in his life. Expect more chapters about him from now on.

Another thing about Eiji: He's one of those kids that gets a crush on any girl he thinks is pretty. Prior to this chapter, the list is as follows: Sakura Haruno, Kazuko Hoki, and Ino Yamanaka. Expect this list to expand as he expands his horizons to the rest of the world, and discovers more things about himself (and when he meets Jiraiya).

Just a bit of a warning, Mayumi uses something of a homophobic slur in this chapter. I am personally all for LGBTQI rights, but Mayumi is, well, Mayumi. She is too, but she's just trying to get a rise out of Eiji. She's not meant to be very likable yet. She may be the oldest Genin of Team 9, but she's got a long ways to go before she stops being a six year old.

* * *

Chapter 11: The C-Ranked D-Rank (In Other Words: The Author is Stupid and Couldn't Think of a Title for This Chapter)

Eiji sat up in bed, covered in a cold sweat and hyperventilating. He examined his hands. No blood. No gore. He wasn't surrounded by dead bodies of his loved ones, and he wasn't the one that killed them.

He sighed, breath slowing down somewhat. "Calm down, Eiji. Just another nightmare." He mumbled softly, rubbing his face.

After the incident on the third Training Ground, he had started having nightmares and night terrors. He had them as a toddler as well, but those were likely a result of his developing brain. That said, he didn't consider them problematic enough to seek treatment, or even to tell his mother about. She'd just overreact and stir up a ruckus that he didn't need to deal with.

He looked at his bedside clock. It read "5:30."

Eiji groaned, sliding out of bed and commencing his morning routine. He took a brief shower (as brief as he could with all the hair he had), and slipped on a pair of black boxer shorts, and a black tank top. Eiji almost chronically wore too many layers of clothing. He didn't know why, but he just felt more comfortable the more he was covered up.

He briefly examined himself in his bathroom mirror. His skin had healed fully from the sunburns he got on his first D-Rank mission (in which he forgot to apply sunscreen and paid the price after six hours of farm work in the hot April sun), the cuts he had sustained from his mission yesterday were beginning to fade, and he was starting to develop noticeable muscle for a ten-year-old. The only two ways he knew how to fight were with overwhelming strength and speed (which was, effectively, cheating), and with the Gentle Fist, a style that was too chakra-intensive for him to be a viable option until very recently, thanks to his Strength of a Hundred Seal. He looked at the seal in question. That little black rhombus sucked up a great deal of the chakra he generated. Actually, it sucked up all of his chakra, but it had to, because it regulated his chakra pathway system. It sucked all the chakra in and returned about thirty percent, meaning that all he had at his disposal was thirty percent of his normal reserves. That was still much more than his effective reserves previously, as before, he had been using chakra for everything he did. When compared to the average shinobi's reserves, thirty percent of his total chakra was still more than three average Chunin combined.

He'd once asked his mother, who was similarly blessed with absurd chakra reserves, why they had such massive pools of chakra. She explained that it had been through centuries of eugenics in the Hyuuga Clan Main House. The Gentle Fist was a Taijutsu style that was only effective when one could expend massive amounts of chakra with every blow to compensate for the lack of physical force. This meant that, and Himawari had said this with shame, for a few hundred years, the Hyuuga Main House had only permitted Hyuuga with massive chakra reserves to reproduce, condemning all others to the Branch House.

Eiji had responded by shrugging and saying "Makes sense." To him, it really did.

Himawari had almost forced him to see a therapist after that.

Almost. He had talked her down by feigning to not understand what eugenics were, and by providing false shock and disgust when she explained it to him.

Eiji strapped on his forehead protector over his Byakugan, activating the aforementioned dojutsu to restore the vision lost by the obstructive headband. It may sound somewhat unnecessary, but after that attack at the third training ground, he wasn't taking any chances, deciding to cover up any and all potential advantages he had in combat. If he were to get attacked out of the blue again, he wanted the enemy to think he was small, skinny, and which was, (again, in hindsight) why he felt more comfortable covered up.

He pulled on a pair of black fingerless gloves, slipped on a black kimono-hoodie and pulled his legs into a pair of black shinobi trousers and strapped a pair of black sandals to his feet. He strapped a wide belt around his stomach that held assorted types of throwing weapons and ninja tools.

He liked black a lot, even if it was a stupid choice for mid-May.

Eiji took a look at his clock. 6:30.

He exited his bedroom. His mother was on a mat on the floor, doing sit-ups. Eiji reckoned she was about halfway through her morning workout.

She looked at him with widened eyes, giving him a surprised grin. "Eiji! I didn't expect you to be up so early. After yesterday, I figured you'd be out until noon."

Eiji shrugged. "I didn't either." It wasn't a lie, it just wasn't quite the whole truth.

Himawari returned to her feet with a handspring. "Well, now that you're up, I'm guessing you're hungry?"

Eiji shook his head. "Not really."

Himawari pressed her lips together and scrunched up her forehead. "Eiji, you're a growing boy. You need to eat."

Eiji groaned. His mother had been smothering him for the four days Naruto and Sasuke had been gone. "Mom, come on. I'll be fine."

Himawari folded her arms. "At least let me make you _something._ "

They heard a knock on the door.

Himawari looked at the door curiously. "A little early for visitors."

Eiji lifted his forehead protector and looked through the door. Ryuji, Mayumi, and Kazuko were standing outside the front door. The latter two looked very sleepy.

"My team's outside." Eiji explained, dropping his forehead protector.

Himawari nodded her head approvingly. "You're getting quite good with your eyes."

Eiji smiled slightly. "Thanks."

Himawari walked over to the door and opened it.

Ryuji smiled amiably. "Good morning, Himawari. Is Eiji home?" He greeted in a deep rumble.

Eiji walked up behind Himawari. "Hello, Sensei."

Kazuko waved at Eiji. "Hello, Eiji." She greeted with a small smile.

Eiji smiled in response, face reddening.

Mayumi stared up at Himawari. Eiji's mother was in her workout gear, which were dark blue pants and a white tank top made of a remarkably form-fitting lycra-spandex blend. Eiji tried deciphering the look on her face. It appeared to be a mixture of envy and frustration, perhaps anger.

Jealousy, perhaps with a dash of intimidation.

 _Huh_.

He filed away that information for later.

Himawari wiped some sweat from her forehead. "Do you need something, Ryuji? It's really early."

Ryuji ruffled the hair of Kazuko and Mayumi, nodding to Eiji. "These three worked very hard yesterday, and I wanted to take them out for breakfast."

Himawari smiled, though it seemed forced. "Oh. Okay. Ready to go, Eiji?"

Eiji nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

Himawari patted him on the shoulder. "Alright then, off you go."

Eiji walked out the door and Himawari closed the door behind him.

Eiji looked up to Ryuji. "So where're we going?"

Ryuji grinned. "Yakiniku Q. They do great breakfast food."

Eiji was satisfied with that. He was worried it would be Ichiraku again. He liked ramen a great deal, and there was no better than Ichiraku's, but with Naruto, that was often all he ever ate.

"Well, lead the way." Eiji said.

Ryuji led the Genin down the stairs and down the street. Mayumi gravitated to Eiji's side. "Your mom is tall." She said.

"5'9. About the average height for a male. Above average for a female. Normal for a Hyuuga woman of the Main House." Eiji explained.

Mayumi scratched her head. "You look like a girl. Your dad must have looked pretty girly."

Eiji shrugged, largely unfazed by the insult. "You've said that a lot. I dunno. Maybe. I don't really remember him."

Mayumi raised an eyebrow. "What'd you say his name was? Itami?"

"Itachi."

"He must've looked like a girl too." Mayumi taunted, aiming her finger to poke Eiji's nose. Eiji instinctively grabbed her wrist before she could touch him.

"...sorry." Eiji apologized politely, releasing his grip on Mayumi's arm.

She looked at her wrist, then back at him. "Little prick."

Eiji shrugged again. "I won't be little forever."

Mayumi grumbled some cuss words, walking ahead. Ryuji quickly took her place.

"Don't like people touching you?" Ryuji asked.

Eiji shook his head. "Not if I don't initiate it."

Ryuji looked down at Eiji. "Well, I hate to break it to you, kid, but with that little seal on your forehead, you're stuck with close-quarters combat."

Eiji looked down at his feet. "Yeah, I know." He grumbled

Ryuji tapped Eiji's shoulder with the back of his hand, making Eiji jump. "Cheer up, kid. Taijutsu is just as good as Ninjutsu or Genjutsu."

Eiji snorted dismissively. "Yeah, but what good is a Gentle Fist poke or a punch against a fireball?"

Ryuji scratched his forehead. "A normal punch? Not much. A water chakra-infused punch could do a lot of things. A Vacuum Palm might dispel it."

Eiji rubbed his face idly. "Excluding the Uchiha Clan's Fireball Jutsu, I can't use nature transformations right now, Ryuji-sensei, and if Sasuke's behind that fireball, I don't think a Vacuum Palm would stop it."

Ryuji held up a hand. "Stop." He commanded to the whole group.

They obliged. Mayumi looked angry. "Hey, what's the holdup? I'm hungry."

"Watch my fist carefully." Ryuji commanded.

All three Genin carefully examined Ryuji's hand. Eiji activated his Sharingan, examining Ryuji's chakra pathway system. Eiji saw Ryuji charging chakra up in his hand. Eiji could both see and smell Ryuji's chakra. It was a very bright off-white, and he smelled ozone in the air.

Mayumi pointed to Ryuji's hand. "Hey, I saw Kazuko do something like that when I accidentally cut myself a few missions ago."

Kazuko demonstrated the jutsu in question. Her hand glowed bright green. "No, mine is medical ninjutsu. That's something different. I don't know what that is."

Eiji saw Ryuji's chakra change. It began to jolt around erratically, though Ryuji clearly had it under control. The chakra began to crackle as well, and soon enough, Ryuji's hand was enveloped in crackling lightning.

Ryuji pointed to his lightning-coated fist. "See this, kids? This is lightning chakra. Hard as all hell to control if you're not affined to it."

Eiji was silently thankful that he was affined to lightning chakra; this was too awesome to not be able to use.

Then he flicked through a series of hand signs, with _one hand,_ no less. "Earth Style: Rock Wall." He stated calmly, stomping on the ground. A six-foot-tall wall of stone erupted from the ground next to Ryuji.

He pulled his lightning-infused fist back and calmly punched the rock wall. His fist impacted the wall.

The wall didn't so much break as explode, sending flying rock everywhere.

All three kids stood there, stunned.

Ryuji shook his hand, dissipating the lightning chakra."That's called Nintaijutsu, the combination of moulded chakra and martial arts. Eiji, you can still mould chakra, right?"

Eiji nodded. "Well, yeah, just not a lot of it."

Ryuji held up his hand. "I only expended chakra creating the Rock Wall. I just moulded the chakra in my hand. I did not release it. Moulding all of the chakra currently in your chakra pathway system will cloak you in that kind of elemental chakra. I will demonstrate."

Ryuji was promptly enveloped in a cloak of lightning chakra. His hair, short as it was, stood straight up, lightning crackling in between the individual strands.

Eiji blinked, eyes widening. "Holy crap."

Ryuji laughed. "Language, Eiji."

"Hey, you cussed just a second ago." Eiji pointed out.

"When exactly are you going to teach us this?" Kazuko asked.

Ryuji let the cloak dissipate. "Eiji, Kazuko, you both have sufficient chakra control to learn this technique."

Eiji and Kazuko looked at each other excitedly. Mayumi frowned.

Ryuji smirked. "I'll teach you Nintaijutsu when Mayumi can match you two in chakra control."

Eiji and Kazuko stared at Ryuji, stunned. Mayumi began laughing uncontrollably.

Ryuji chuckled. "Yeah, she gets the idea. You two are going to have to stop leaving her in the dust and help her out."

Eiji, normally perpetually straight-faced, looked incredibly angry. "Are you serious? I mean, I don't mind teaching her chakra control, but why are you holding the capable people back?"

"You need to learn teamwork. So far, on all our missions-"

"Which have all been farming missions!" Eiji shouted.

Ryuji snapped his fingers. "Quiet, Eiji, you'll wake the people that are still trying to sleep, and let me finish."

Eiji folded his arms, clearly frustrated.

Ryuji sighed. "Well, follow me. I'll explain on the way."

The four resumed their walk to Yakiniku Q.

Ryuji continued. "On all the missions we've been on, none of you have worked together. If I'm not there, Eiji immediately takes charge and tries to do everything himself."

Eiji grimaced. Ryuji was correct. He did everything he thought necessary himself.

Ryuji pointed to Kazuko and Mayumi. "These two haven't done much. On a Genin team, all three Genin are equal in status. One is not better than the others, even if there is a disparity in skill. They all need to work in sync and respect each other. When you can do that, and when Mayumi can match you two in chakra control, I'll teach you the technique."

Eiji shrugged. That made sense, somewhat. He was thankful that

Kazuko nodded, bowing her head slightly. "Thank you, sensei."

Mayumi grinned widely and grabbed Eiji, getting him in a headlock. "Looks like girly here is gonna be teaching me chakra control."

Eiji coughed and sputtered. Mayumi had a monstrously powerful grip. "Mayumi, please let go."

She yanked his hood down and gave him a noogie before letting him go and shoving him away.

Eiji coughed again. "Please stop touching me."

Mayumi shrugged. "No promises there, girly."

Eiji's eyelid twitched. "Then expect me to be a lot less friendly during our next spar."

That was the first time in his life he had ever threatened someone.

It would not be the last.

Mayumi laughed. "I look forward to it, girly."

Ryuji looked back at his Genin, then pointed to Yakiniku Q. "Hey, kids, we're here."

Mayumi rushed past Ryuji and into the building. "Man, I'm starving."

"Why must you antagonize me so?" Eiji pondered under his breath, following Mayumi into the restaurant.

An hour or so later, Team 9 had finished eating breakfast. During which, Eiji had come to the conclusion that Mayumi was a vegetarian. He had seen her eat nothing but plant-based food the entire time he'd known her.

Ryuji handed the signed check to their waiter and stood up to walk out the door, Genin following behind him. "Alright, kids, I'll admit that I had another reason for bringing you three out here so early." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a scroll, smiling.

Kazuko squinted at the scroll, readjusting her glasses. "Is that a mission assignment scroll?"

Ryuji nodded. "Got it from the Hokage himself earlier this morning."

Eiji was silently surprised that Ryuji got up that early. Eiji then saw that it was marked as being a C-Ranked mission. His eyes widened.

"It's C-Rank?" Eiji could tell that it was, but he was asking just to be sure.

Ryuji nodded. "It is. I don't know what the mission is yet, though, so let's open it up together."

The three Genin crowded around Ryuji as he opened up the scroll.

All four faces went from excited to disappointed.

Mayumi grimaced. "Oh, fuck off with that."

This time, Ryuji did not correct her language, as he appeared to be feeling similarly.

Their mission was to landscape the Hokage's backyard.

Kazuko pointed to the payment amount. "At least it ways well."

"And this would be our eighth mission. Perfect timing for the Chunin Exams." Eiji observed.

Ryuji rolled the scroll back up. "None of you are ready for the Chunin Exams yet. Maybe after I teach you Nintaijutsu, and even then, I'm not sure."

Eiji grimaced. "That just means we're going to need to teach Mayumi faster."

Ryuji rubbed his forehead. "Regardless, since this mission is local, I'd recommend you go home and change into clothes you don't mind getting dirty. Mayumi, you should be fine in that."

Mayumi grinned. She wore the same thing almost every day.

Ryuji pointed to the Hokage's Residence off in the distance. "I'll meet you three in front of the Hokage's Residence at 8:00. Understood?"

All three Genin nodded. "Yes, sensei."

Ryuji smiled. "Good. I'll see you three soon."

Eiji ran up the side of a nearby building and sped across the rooftops back to his house. It only took him a few minutes. He leapt in through an open window. Himawari was still exercising. Now, she was doing one-armed push-ups. As was expected of a Taijutsu specialist, she took her physical condition very seriously.

Eiji sprinted past her and into his room. "Hey, mom!"

Himawari did a double-take in his direction. "Eiji! You're back! How as breakfast?"

"No time to talk, mom! Doing a mission for the Hokage!" Eiji shouted from his room.

Himawari swelled with pride. "What are you going to be doing for him?"

Eiji took his hoodie off and grabbed a bundle of elastic bands for his hair. "Nothing special. Just landscaping his backyard. I think it was labeled as C-Rank just because it pays better."

Himawari brought her nose up from the ground and back down again. "Well, you'll be doing a very important man a favor. I know Hiruzen, he won't forget this."

Eiji grabbed a canteen with a seal that allowed it to store immense amounts of water and strapped it to his belt. "You sure, mom? He was pretty old last I saw him."

Himawari brought herself back up again, completing another set of one-hundred. "He's only sixty-eight, Eiji."

Eiji replaced his fingerless gloves with fingered gardening gloves. "Really? He looked older that that."

Himawari sat down and crossed her legs, panting heavily. "That was just the look on his face when we showed him your Seal. Remember the cover story: it just regulates your chakra. That's it."

Eiji applied spray-on sunscreen to his exposed skin. "I know, mom."

She sighed. "I know you know, it's just my job as your mom to remind you."

Eiji exited his room and ran towards the open window. "Bye, mom!"

Himawari laughed, rubbing her sore arms. "Bye, Eiji! See you later!"

"I'll be in the Hokage's backyard if you need me!" He shouted, pointing out the window with his thumb before leaping out the open window with a backflip.

Himawari smiled. Her son was growing up.

* * *

Team 9 looked at the Hokage's backyard in disbelief. It was an absolute mess. Almost everything was dead. Grass, flowers, shrubs, everything but the trees. Those remained in perfect condition, if a bit shaggy and overgrown. It was as if someone had done this deliberately.

Ryuji was dressed in simple white cargo shorts and a white t-shirt instead of his normal mobster attire. "Thank you for hiring us, Lord Hokage."

Mayumi looked up to the Third Hokage, who was standing to her left. "You want us to fix _this?_ This is a fucking mess! Have you been _trying_ to kill the poor plants?!"

Ryuji snapped his fingers. "Mayumi! Language. You're in the presence of the Hokage."

Hiruzen exhaled some smoke. "I don't want you to fix it, young lady, I want you to replace it."

Mayumi's eyebrow twitched. "Stupid old man, can't take care of his freakin' plants..."

Hiruzen sighed. "Replacements plants will be brought in soon. Revive what you can, remove what you cannot."

Ryuji nodded. "Yes, Lord Hokage."

Kazuko, dressed in khaki shorts, a light blue t-shirt, and a sun hat, smiled. "We'll do our best, Lord Hokage!"

Hiruzen smiled, walking back to his office. "I'm confident that you will."

Hiruzen looked back at Eiji.

Eiji looked back at him, blinking with his mismatched black and white eyes. "Is something wrong, Lord Hokage?" He asked in a voice all too similar to his father's when he was ten.

Hiruzen sighed sadly and shook his head, walking away.

Eiji scratched his ear. _That was weird._

Ryuji patted Eiji's shoulder and turned him around towards the mess of a yard. "Alright, kid. Mayumi and I will tear up the dead plants. Kazuko will use her medical ninjutsu to revive what she can. How long can you walk on water and walls?"

Eiji shrugged. "I dunno, the longest I've lasted so far was five hours reading a book on the ceiling, but I was sitting, and I ran across the hot springs once."

Ryuji blinked. "Five hours? That's really something. You're on tree duty, Eiji. Shape the trees. Climb up the trunks and trim them."

Eiji cocked his head to the side. "Why would I want to cut anything _off_ the trees? I thought we wanted them to grow as big as possible."

Ryuji nodded, kneeling down and putting a hand on Eiji's back. "Well, we do. Have you ever gotten a haircut before?"

"Yeah, my mom cuts my hair every couple of months to keep it growing out normally and get rid of the split ends." Eiji explained, fingering the ponytail his hair was pulled back into.

Ryuji pointed up to the trees. "Well, think of it like you're giving the trees a haircut. Too few branches, and the tree can't grow at all. Too many branches, and the trunk can't grow as high and strong as it otherwise could. A balance needs to be maintained. Does that make sense?"

Eiji nodded in understanding. "Yeah."

"Hey, are you gonna talk all day or are you gonna come help me root up this shrub?" Mayumi shouted from over near a dead bush.

Ryuji chuckled and stood up. "Don't wanna keep the little lady waiting. Get to it, Eiji. Lord Sarutobi provided some gardening tools over there." He said, pointing to a box near the sliding glass door that led into the house itself.

Eiji walked over to the box and opened it, grabbing a pair of hedge-trimmers.

He looked over to Ryuji, who was, humorously enough, using his sword to cut out the roots. "Would this work?"

Ryuji looked over to Eiji. "Yeah, yeah, that looks fine. Hey, while you're there, could you grab me a shovel?"

Eiji nodded and grabbed a shovel for Ryuji, jogging over to him and handing him the large metal tool.

Ryuji bowed his head with a smile. "Thank you. Could you take my shirt, Eiji?"

Eiji turned red. "What?"

Ryuji removed his plain white t-shirt and handed it to Eiji. Mayumi and Kazuko stopped their respective tasks and looked at Ryuji. Both of their faces turned red. A bit of blood dribbled from Mayumi's nose. They had all known he was well-built, but they hadn't expected him to be shaped as perfectly as he was. They had expected a brick wall, and had gotten a marble statue.

Whenever Eiji would look back on this moment as a teenager or adult, he would pinpoint this as the exact moment that he realized that he was bisexual, a trait he would suppress for a great deal of his childhood, but come to embrace and appreciate in adolescence and adulthood. If one compiled and broke down a list of Eiji's embarrassingly huge amount of dalliances, hook-ups, and other sexual encounters (that may or may not have been paid for) by gender (as a teenager and adult), they would find that the overwhelming majority were female, but one would still see the occasional male name. They would also find that a disproportionate amount of both sexes were from Kumogakure, a preference that, humorously enough, his father had shared in his youth, but had since grown out of.

"W-where do you want me to p-put it?" Eiji stammered.

Ryuji waved his hand dismissively and turned around, crouching back down. "Eh, I don't care. Drop it near the box of gardening tools."

Eiji's eyes widened at the sight of Ryuji's back. Staring back at him was a full-back irezumi tattoo of a ferocious yellow dragon. Its eyes bored into Eiji's, somehow communicating a fair amount of killing intent.

"Eiji? You still there?"

No response.

Ryuji chuckled. "Oh, _that_. Got that back in my Kumo days. I was sixteen or so, I think. Fell in with a bad crowd, or, heh, well, more like I _started_ the bad crowd. It also functions as chakra storage, that's why I look so young, and it's also why I don't get it removed."

Eiji's face returned to a normal color. "Oh. I'll go trim the trees now."

Ryuji chuckled. "That'd be a good idea."

Eiji jogged over to the toolbox, then over to the nearest tree, stopping at the base of the trunk. He looked up the tree trunk, craning his neck. It was a hell of a lot taller up-close.

Eiji groaned. "This is gonna be a long day." He mumbled to himself.

He placed his foot on the tree trunk and began to walk up the tree.

* * *

Hiruzen Sarutobi watched Team 9 work from his office. They were an interesting bunch. In truth, he had scorched the yard himself so that he could observe the interpersonal dynamics of Team 9. Ryuji Inazuma, the Dragon of Kumo, Eiji Hyuuga, the Bastard of Konoha and prodigy of absurd potential, Kazuko Hoki, one of the best medical ninja seen in the village in years at twelve. And then of there was...

...Mayumi.

He'd never thought the Dragon of Kumo, the terror of the Land of Lightning and still Public Enemy Number One in the land of Iron, would find his calling in teaching small children. Then again, he wasn't quite as, well, "hot-blooded," (to put it mildly) as he had been in his youth. Hiruzen would know. They had fought. Hiruzen won, but Ryuji was a vicious and almost hilariously brutal opponent in a fight. Being on the other end of that sword of his was a nightmarish experience at worst and over in an instant at best.

Somewhat fitting that Itachi's son get assigned to him. Eiji was an enigma and a constant reminder of his single greatest failure as Hokage. Eiji's psyche report was something he read every couple of days, trying to decipher what it meant and if he posed a risk. Even Ibiki didn't quite know what to make of him. He picked up signs of depression, narcissism, and even depersonalization disorder. Ibiki had thought it impossible for DPDI and narcissism to manifest in the same person, but hell, Eiji had two of the three legendary dojutsu and a _Strength of a Hundred Seal_ , so in regards to to the boy in question, the son of the former Hyuuga heiress (as punishment she had lost the position, something she claimed was a reward) and current S-Rank Rogue Ninja, both of whom were monstrously powerful, he had thrown all logic to the wind the second he saw the aforementioned seal. Ibiki had also noticed the boy displayed bisexual tendencies and a complete lack of change in biometric data when lying, after which he requested to train Eiji personally and groom him for ANBU. Hiruzen had refused.

Vehemently. And loudly.

After Itachi, he wanted to keep any Uchiha as far away from ANBU as possible. That job did things to people, and Uchiha were genetically predisposed to mental instability.

Kazuko was a lot more normal. Standard, happy upbringing. Stellar chakra control since the Academy. Lower chakra reserves than average, though, unfrotunately. Psyche report indicated she was not well-suited for being a shinobi, given her tendency for indecision and hesitation and a very noticeable aversion to lying and deception. When faced with open combat, she displayed an affinity for setting traps and relying on tools and illusions, doing everything she could to avoid directly or permanently injuring the enemy, which was a massive hindrance for a potential kunoichi. If she was ever promoted to Chunin, and that was a big "if," she would likely never make it to Jounin.

Kazuko was very unlike Mayumi. Hiruzen looked over to Mayumi, who picked up a rock and whipped it at Eiji, who caught it and tossed it into the sky without even looking at it. He chuckled, remembering the girl's parents. Jiraiya had pestered Tsunade like that. It was clear that Mayumi fancied the boy, but Hiruzen doubted either of them could see it yet. She had the massive chakra reserves characteristic of Senju. Her written test scores were all straight Fs. Not a single correct answer. He suspected that this was deliberate. Mayumi had failed the academy exit exam twice, until her monstrous strength had manifested itself and she had passed by ripping a tree from the ground and assaulting Academy staff with it. Hiruzen remembered. He had seen it happen, and had laughed the whole time. That was how Jiraiya had passed, too, sort of. He had attempted to summon Gamabunta and teleported himself to Mount Myoboku. He was pronounced missing and was gone for a week until he returned in the middle of the night, dropping Gamabunta on his teacher. Mayumi may have looked a great deal like Tsunade, and was starting to resemble Hashirama the more she tanned, but her hair and mannerisms were all Jiraiya. Hell, she'd even been caught peeping on Asuma and some of the other male Jounin at the Hot Springs.

He heard a knock on his door.

"Comin' in, dad." He heard from the other side of the door.

"It's unlocked, Amaya."

The door opened. A tall woman stepped through. She had the dark skin and spiky black hair of the Sarutobi clan. An ornate _Kiseru_ hung from her lower lip. She wore standard Jounin attire with a tattered blue scarf wrapped around her neck.

"Sup, pops." She said with a smile.

The Lord Third smiled. "Good morning, Amaya."

"Is that Ryuji outside?" She asked, pointing out the window to the giant hulk of a man.

Hiruzen nodded. "Yes, that is Ryuji."

Amaya whistled. "Damn. He's jacked."

Hiruzen raised an eyebrow, looking at his daughter with confusion. "'Jacked?'"

"Muscular. Big." Amaya clarified.

"Oh, I see. How is Konohamaru?"

Amaya smiled. "That little guy makes me so proud. Takes after me, you know."

Hiruzen groaned. "Oh dear. That's not good."

Amaya grinned mischievously. "Oh yeah. Little shit got caught in the lady's side of the hot springs, transformed into a stacked brunette chick."

Hiruzen coughed, adjusting his hat. "Ah yes, I remember that. How was he punished?"

Amaya grinned, taking a puff from her Kiseru. "Took him out to the Dango Shop. Bought him as many chocolate-covered bananas as he could eat."

Hiruzen looked at her in disbelief. "You're joking."

She shook her head. "Nope."

Hiruzen rubbed his eyes. "Amaya..."

She laughed, walking . "Heh, yeah, go fuck yourself, Lord Hokage. That kid deals with the loss of his father every day. The least you can do is shrug off the little stuff."

The Third Hokage sighed. "Amaya, I understand that parenting is a new concept to you, but you need to handle the boy better. Young children test boundaries often, and it is important for those boundaries to be sound and resistant."

Amaya ran her hand through her spiky black hair, sighing sadly. "Kei was always the one who knew what to do. He was the best mom."

Hiruzen put his hand on Amaya's shoulder. "Amaya, Kei is gone. You need to be the mother and the father now. The nurturer and the disciplinarian."

"But being tough is hard." Amaya complained.

Hiruzen looked up to his daughter. "Perhaps you could speak with Lady Himawari Hyuuga. She's been a single mother for eight years, and look how well Eiji has turned out. The boy's a prodigy. A genius." He said, pointing to Eiji, who was currently on break and reading a book upside-down on a tree branch.

Amaya shook her head. "I dunno. That kid creeps me out."

Hiruzen coughed. "Why?"

She folded her arms. "There's something about his eyes. Too observant and smart for a kid his age. Too powerful. Reminds me too much of Itachi."

Hiruzen sighed, placing his pipe in his pocket. Arguing further would get him nowhere. He looked at the clock. "I have to meet with a representative of the Fire Daimyo in a few minutes. I'm sure you have a mission of some kind to get to." The first part was just a lie to get her to leave.

Amaya shrugged, waving goodbye and walking towards the door. "Alright, then. See ya."

She paused. "Oh wait, I forgot." She removed a small parcel from her pocket, handing it to her father. "Got this in the mail for you. Says it's from some guy named Jir-"

Hiruzen swiped the package from her hands and hastily stuffed it into a drawer in his desk. "Thank you, Amaya. That'll be all for now. Goodbye." He said far too quickly. It sounded like one word.

She looked at him, confused. "Uh, okay. Bye, dad." She said, waving her hand and exiting the room.

The Third Hokage waited until he heard the door lock before he tore the box open, revealing a copy of Jiraiya's latest entry in the Icha Icha franchise. Only a few people in Konoha knew he was a fan of the series (Ryuji, Kakashi, and Himawari), and even fewer knew he received copies of the finished product a few weeks pre-release (Jiraiya exclusively). This was a very minimal abuse of power by comparison to other Hokage (Hashirama's gambling and womanizing, Tobirama's unilateral control of the village, and Minato's having his staff do his work for him while he was creating the Rasengan and for the nine months prior to Naruto's birth).

He removed the book from the small parcel and settled down into his chair. He opened the book and began to read.

He giggled perversely. This entry in the Icha Icha series really started out with a...

..bang.

(The author kindly requests that someone punch him in the face.)

* * *

Another hour went by, and Team 9 had completed roughly half of the Hokage's yard.

Ryuji wiped his forehead. "Alright, team. I'm gonna go get some food for us. I'll be back in about ten minutes."

"See ya, Ryuji sensei." Mayumi said, waving.

Ryuji waved back and exited the Hokage's backyard, walking down the street without a shirt.

Kazuko looked over to Eiji. "Should we tell him that he forgot his shirt?"

Eiji shook his head. "No."

Mayumi pointed at Eiji accusingly. "What, you like lookin' at Ryuji-sensei without a shirt?"

Eiji turned red. "No." He lied.

"Well look at that, Eiji's got a crush on sensei!" Mayumi taunted.

"I do not!" He shouted indignantly.

He wasn't lying that time.

Kazuko scooted over to Eiji's side and patted his leg. "There's nothing wrong with liking other boys, Eiji."

"Yeah, Eiji. Being a twink is fine." Mayumi jabbed.

Kazuko gasped.

Eiji was an incredibly emotionally resilient ten-year-old who had taken lives firsthand. He was a largely unflappable kid that you could throw insults at all day and still not get a rise out of. His his patience was nigh-invulnerable.

But everyone had their insecurities.

Everyone had an on-switch.

For Naruto, it was being an elitist prick.

For Sasuke, it was asserting your superiority (legitimate or not) over him.

For Himawari, it was threatening any of her family, biological or not.

Eiji had nine so far.

First was making fun of his being born out of wedlock. Doing so would result in his arguing with you about marriage being a social contract that didn't necessarily signify love. It would annoy him at worst, but he wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

Second was treating him like an average child and not as an equal. That would get slightly more of a rise out of him than calling him a bastard and result in him treating you with as much condescension as he could muster.

Third was making fun of his eyes being asymmetrical. Eiji, being a kid that was obsessed with looking perfect, it was something that drove him nuts every time he saw himself in the mirror. This had not yet occurred or been invoked.

Fourth was treating him like a live bomb because of who his father was. He was not Itachi Uchiha and he never would be, and he would remind you of this promptly and thoroughly. This did not happen often anymore, thanks to tireless efforts on his mother's end.

Fifth was insulting his skills as a ninja, and it was the first that could result in injury. Constructive criticism was fine, but consistent and repeated mocking of his skills for no reason other than to insult him would result in him throwing every jutsu he knew at you in order of increasing destructive capacity. He wouldn't do it if he thought it would actually harm you. It was more of a statement than anything else.

The sixth was insulting or otherwise acting aggressive towards his mother in any way. It would invoke retribution proportional to the scale of the insult/aggression. It had not yet been invoked.

The seventh was being a bully. Bullying him was fine. He could take it, it didn't really faze him. Bullying less secure individuals was less fine.

The eighth was attacking any of the people he loved with the intent to seriously injure or kill them, which would be met with overwhelming force. It had only truly occurred once, and the KMPF was still struggling to identify the remains of the offenders.

The ninth, and by far the most difficult to pull off, was making Eiji doubt his ironclad sense of identity. He knew who he was. If his perception of himself were to change, he or a loved one would be the one to change it. This one is not only the most difficult to pull off, it's also the only one that can well and truly emotionally compromise Eiji and render him unfit for combat. Mayumi, having only known Eiji a few months, managed to pull this off in two sentences.

He clenched his fist. Tears began to drip down his face.

Mayumi laughed. "Aww, did I make the baby cry?"

Eiji clenched his teeth, trying desperately to keep control of himself.

Kazuko frowned. "Mayumi, stop it."

"Oh, what, are you his girlfriend now?"

Kazuko turned red, averting her eyes.

"Leave her out of this, Mayumi." Eiji choked out, stuttering on nearly every word.

"Or what, you gonna make me?" Mayumi taunted.

That was it. Eiji couldn't take any more. He stood up and _shunshin-_ ed away, tears in his eyes.

"Eiji!" Kazuko shouted after him.

Mayumi frowned. "The hell was that?"

Kazuko looked at the older girl in disbelief. "You're joking, right? You scared him off!"

"I was just joking..." Mayumi muttered sullenly.

"Joking?! You insulting his being who he is was joking?! Do you know how incredibly horrible that is?!" Kazuko nearly screamed.

"I didn't think he'd-"

"Than why did you keep going?!" Kazuko held up her hands in disbelief.

A beat.

"I don't know." Mayumi answered honestly, looking down at the ground. She was never good at all the introspective emotional crap, and she didn't really have much of a verbal filter. Words just tended to spill out of her whenever she talked.

Kazuku paused for a moment, breathing deeply. "Mayumi, think about what you just said more than not at all."

Mayumi looked very confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I want you to use that pea-sized brain for just a second and think about what you just said to Eiji."

Mayumi thought for a moment. "I called him a twink."

"Do you know what that term means?"

Mayumi shook her head. "Not really. I heard somebody call a girly-looking guy that once."

"It's a slang term for a feminine gay man, Mayumi. It's incredibly mean."

Mayumi's blood ran cold. "Oh." She whispered. She hadn't known it was that bad.

"Yeah. _Oh_ is right. Eiji has been nothing but patient with you. Did you forget that he deliberately sacrificed the Bell Test just to secure your status as a Genin?"

Mayumi put her face in her hands, plopping herself back down to the ground. "Man, I fucked up _bad..._ "

Kazuko nodded. "Yes you did."

Mayumi looked up at Kazuko. "Should I go and apologize?"

Kazuko shook her head. "Just let him come back. Eiji cares about the mission and his stomach was growling very loudly a moment ago. He'll be back. Apologize then."

Mayumi looked concerned. "What if he goes and tells his mom?"

Kazuko sighed. "Then pray for your life."

Mayumi shrugged, concern disappearing. "Eh, I don't think Eiji's gonna tell her."

Kazuko folded her arms. "He doesn't really even need to tell his mother about it. She just needs to see him crying and put two and two together. She's seen you two interact before and she knows that you make fun of him all the time."

Mayumi shrugged again. "Adults have yelled at me before, I don't think-"

That when Himawari appeared out of nothing and grabbed hold of Mayumi's neck, lifting her off the ground with one arm. Her face was red in a fury that could only be summoned by her son crying. It could also be because whenever she got this mad, the first of her eight inner gates opened up. Aside from Kakashi (and, of course, Guy), she was the only other Jounin who could open the first of the eight gates.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO MY **BOY**."

It was not a question.

Mayumi's eyes were wild. "NOT THE FACE."

* * *

 **A/N:** This happened while Team 7 was out in the Land of Waves, in case that wasn't clear. I'm really itching to get to the Chunin Exams, so I'm probably just going to gloss over a lot of the implied in-between period between the Land of Waves Arc and the Chunin Exams Arc. I'll put a list of what happened in-between this chapter and the next at the start of the next one.

~Essence of Clotheslining


	13. Chapter 12: Hiden Hijinks

**A/N:** Holy crap, we're at almost 5,000 hits (as of this writing).

We're almost to the Chunin Exams. Just a little bit longer. We're going to see Eiji and Sasuke pull off some serious Mega-Manning with their Sharingan(s?) in this chapter. I mean, normally, stealing the Yamanaka Clan Secret Techniques would result in poison in your food, but when you copy it with your Sharingan, that shit's fair game.

In regards to Sasuke, I always felt he was a bit one-dimensional in canon, which is one of the reasons I had the Uchiha Massacre happen earlier. He's had more time to develop a personality, which you'll see plenty of here. He's a bit OOC (out of character) by comparison. A bit less emo and a bit more snarky; a bit bolder and bit more talkative in general. I mean, the summary says that this story has a zillion changes to canon, so hey, you know what you signed up for.

I also messed with the height and weight of various characters to make them, you know, make sense. Different clans have different common traits which are expanded on a bit more here. Hyuuga are fair-skinned and dark-haired mesomorphs of above-average height. Uzumaki are fair-skinned and red-haired mesomorphs of below-average height (Naruto is not this because he got his coloring and bone structure largely from his father, who also received an extra few inches in height). You get the idea.

Himawari and Itachi made an interesting-looking couple for the almost three years they were together. Himawari was a bit taller than Itachi was, and she still is. 5'9 vs 5'7. Hyuuga are pretty tall.

Lastly, if Eiji and Himawari were have a Databook Entries, their stats would be as follows (I'll probably put up a chapter that's just every OC's Stats at some point):

 **Eiji Hyuuga**

Ninjutsu: 2

Taijutsu: 3 (increased from two in-between the last chapter and this one; he did some training)

Genjutsu: 2

Intelligence: 4.5

Strength: 2

Speed: 2

Stamina: 1.5

Hand Seals: 1.5

Total: 20.5

Hobbies: Reading, Training, Jutsu Experimentation/Theory, Singing (I shit you not), Drawing

Favorite Word: 極 (Kiwami; Extremity/Perfection; Adjective)

Favorite Food: Mochi

Weaknesses: Uzumaki Syndrome (less so now), small pool of usable chakra compared to normal chakra reserves (but still massive), favors his left side, the Sexy Jutsu (no, really), somewhat prone to his plans backfiring on him (just like his father), struggles with hand seals (he does it perfectly if the jutsu is copied, but otherwise, he frequently fumbles and screws up), lacks confidence around most everyone but his immediate family and the Hyuuga, who treat him like gold because Hiashi would kill them if they didn't.

Other Trivia: Doesn't want to fight anyone except for those that fate throws at him. Ambidextrous. No interest in becoming Hokage, but wishes to become the strongest being to ever walk the earth, and believes that the only way to do that is by fighting the strongest. Hates vegetables of all kinds. Resents being compared to Itachi and people treating him as if he was a risk to the village. Believes his mother is holding him back, but understands why and still loves her, which is why he simply subverts/bypasses her instead of arguing with her.

 **Himawari Hyuuga**

Ninjutsu: 4

Taijutsu: 5

Genjutsu: 3.5

Intelligence: 3.5

Strength: 4.5

Speed: 4.5

Stamina: 5

Hand Seals: 3

Total: 33

Hobbies: Training, Fighting (other Jounin), Exercising, Cooking

Favorite Word: 恩愛 (On'ai; Love/Kindness/Affection; Noun)

Favorite Food: Chocolate

Weaknesses: Still struggles with hand seals (a trait she passed on to her son) acts without thinking if her loved ones are endangered, still hasn't quite let go of her feelings for Itachi.

Other Trivia: Wishes to fight Itachi and force him to explain why he killed the Uchiha. Hates Kakashi for killing Rin. Wishes to be a Jounin-Teacher, but is forbidden on account of becoming too easily emotionally compromised. In the same vein, she is very conflicted about Eiji moving up in the world, as she doesn't want him to get hurt, but also wants him to get stronger. Enjoys teasing perverts. Born seven months into her parents' marriage.

* * *

Chapter 12: _Hiden_ Hijinks (Or: The first of many times Eiji is "Hoist by his Own Petard")

Eiji shout out of bed with a yell, waving a kunai around wildly.

Then he looked around, eyes wild. He wasn't being attacked by his dead family. They weren't trying to eat him alive.

Again.

He lowered the kunai, slipping it back under his pillow. He rubbed his eyes, which were rimmed with blackened circles.

These nightmares were really becoming a problem. Sasuke had had nightmares for a good while after the Uchiha Massacre (which he had been spared from experiencing firsthand, though both Sasuke and his mother had needed to go to therapy for years after). Was this what it was like to not sleep? It was awful.

His mother burst through the door, still in her pajamas. "Eiji, are you okay?!"

"Do I look okay, mom?" He asked sarcastically.

She lowered her hands. "Well, yes."

"Then I'm fine." He yawned.

She pressed her lips together in concern, brow furrowing. "This is the sixth time this week, Eiji, and it's Saturday. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Mom, I'm fine." He repeated.

"Eiji, you can tell me if something's wrong."

"MOM." He snapped, Sharingan (having evolved an extra tomoe from all the Justu-mimicry he'd been up to of late) swirling as his face contorted in frustration.

She stepped back in surprise. Tears began to well up in her eyes. "Eiji..."

Eiji's expression softened, Sharingan disappearing. He hadn't meant to blast her with _that_ much killing intent. "I'm okay, mom. Don't worry about me." He repeated, walking up to her and giving her a reassuring hug.

She returned it, squeezing him tightly. "Eiji, I'm worried about you."

"Don't be. I'm fine."

She laughed, wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry, Eiji, I'm just really, heh heh, "emotionally squishy." It's my job to worry about you, you know that."

He shrugged. "I'm a Genin and I've learned the Gentle Fist and the Uchiha Clan Fireball jutsu. By both Uchiha and Hyuuga Clan standards, I'm an adult."

"But you're just ten years old."

"Does it matter?" Eiji asked skeptically.

She nodded. "Absolutely. You've got a long ways to go. Maybe when you become Chunin, but that'll take a while."

"Maybe." He intoned cryptically.

She looked as if she was about to ask him something, but decided against it.

She cleared her throat, looking at Eiji's clock. "Well, it's only 4:30. Did you want to go back to sleep?"

He shook his head, pulling away from his mother. "No. I've got somewhere to be."

"It's 4:30 in the morning, Eiji. Where would you be going at this hour? Sasuke isn't even up yet."

Eiji entered the bathroom and removed his clothes, walking into the shower. "He should be. I'm going to go help him prepare for the Chunin Exams."

"Are those coming up soon?"

"Next week, mom. I wrote it on the calendar."

"Oh." Himawari sounded worried.

Eiji finished showering and getting dressed as quickly as he could. He exited his room and saw his mother sitting cross-legged on the floor. A quick examination with his Byakugan revealed that she was practicing chakra control, like he did in every moment of his spare time that was not spent spying on people. Chakra control was something that came naturally to most every Hyuuga, and Himawari was no exception. Her hair grew in a counterclockwise manner, and she was managing to spin her chakra in the opposite direction, which was an incredible feat.

She stood up and walked over to hug him. "See you back here in a few hours?"

Eiji nodded. "Yeah, probably. Sasuke and I are probably going to be pretty tired by the time we come back."

She smiled, kissing the top of his head. "Sasuke's down at the base of the steps. I'll have some food ready for you when you come back."

Eiji exited through the front door and slid down the handrail, landing at the bottom of the steps.

Surely enough, Sasuke was there. He leaned against the side of the building nonchalantly, twirling a kunai.

"Took you long enough." He deadpanned, not looking at Eiji as they started walking down the street.

"Long hair takes work." Eiji deadpanned back, also not making eye contact.

"You sure you want to grow it out more? It's already down past your waist." Sasuke pointed at Eiji's hair, which covered most of his face and fell out of his hood on both sides down past his waist.

Eiji nodded. "I read about channeling chakra into your hair so you can control it; reinforce it and use it like a weapon. I want to do that."

Sasuke whistled. "That's not my style, but I'd pay to see that."

Eiji yawned. "You probably won't have to."

Sasuke looked at him, interest blooming on his face. "Can you do it already?"

Eiji shook his head. "Probably, but I won't. If we have to fight in the Chunin Exams, I don't want you to know how to fight it. Better to save it for when it really matters."

The left side of Sasuke's mouth curled upwards slightly in a smug grin. "Kunai would probably work just fine."

Eiji's eyes widened. "You wouldn't."

Sasuke's grin widened. "Fireball jutsu would probably be better. Certainly more entertaining."

Eiji groaned. "Oh, come on."

Sasuke looked at Eiji in mild frustration. "Eiji, you're supposed to banter back. That's how it works."

"How what works?" Eiji asked.

Sasuke shrugged, shaking his head. "I dunno. 'It.'"

"What is 'It,' Sasuke? Please explain."

Sasuke was about to say something when he caught himself. Then he looked over at Eiji and grinned slowly. "Smarmy little bastard."

Eiji grinned back. "Now he gets it."

Sasuke's face turned serious. "Why are you never this confident around everyone else?"

Eiji averted his eyes. "I've known you and my mom my whole life, and Naruto for almost my whole life. I know you three, Sasuke. I don't know anyone else. Maybe Hinata."

"I've seen you with your team. You don't make an effort to reach out anymore. People don't come to you. You have to go to them."

Eiji reflected the observation. "You're one to talk. You brush Sakura off like she's worthless."

Sasuke looked ahead. "She is. In the Land of Waves, Naruto, Kakashi and I did all the work. I got my ass kicked and she didn't do anything. She _couldn't_ do anything."

"She's smart, Sasuke. Smarter than any other Genin I've seen so far, except for Shikamaru. You need to help her learn."

"Says the guy that can't teach a thirteen-year-old girl to control her chakra."

"Mayumi's getting better, just not fast enough. She's got some Earth Style jutsu down. She'll be ready for the next exam in December, but not this one."

"Why are you even trying to teach her?"

Eiji shrugged. "She's got a lot of potential. She could be a great kunoichi one day." He did not tell Sasuke of his wanting to learn nintaijutsu. That would be his ace in the hole, his secret show-stopper, his problem-solver. Truthfully, he'd already copied it during a sparring session he'd observed between Ryuji and Kakashi.

Sasuke looked dumbfounded. "How can you say that after what she said about you? I'd have knocked her out on the spot."

Eiji fingered his hair, a habit he had picked up from Kazuko. "Had a long talk with my mom. She explained that good people can say bad things. It's also not a good thing to immediately resort to violence, Sasuke."

Sasuke turned to Eiji, looking him in the eye. "Eiji, Mayumi is not a good person. She is stupid and lacks any notable skills other than her strength."

"My mom said that she talked with Mayumi for a while, and she doesn't think Mayumi's bad. Just ignorant."

"Himawari doesn't know everything."

"She knows more than we do. She's a Jounin."

Sasuke shrugged. "She's a bit too forgiving if you ask me."

"I didn't." Eiji replied with a bit more hostility than he had wanted to let slip.

Sasuke bristled, but said nothing.

Eiji sighed. He really had to get a better handle on his emotions. First Mayumi had made him cry, and now he was letting more slip than he wanted.

They were silent the rest of the way to the Third Training Ground. Eiji didn't really like going there, but he found that he tended to fight better, or at least think faster, if he expect shuriken to fly out of the woods at any moment.

* * *

Eiji sat next to Sasuke on their usual rock. "Alright, let's get right to it."

"What clans did you manage to get to?" Sasuke asked, tightening his belt.

"The Yamanaka. I also watched Guy and Rock Lee for a while." Eiji reported. He did not tell Sasuke about the Nara Clan's Shadow Possession jutsu. That would be his other backup plan.

"Alright then. Which did you want to start with?"

Eiji shrugged. "How about the Yamanaka? Their secret techniques aren't very chakra-consuming and we can practice them without really hurting each other."

Sasuke nodded. "That sounds good."

Eiji removed a notebook from his pocket and flipped to a page with sketches of hand signs and diagrams that represented the flow of chakra. "So, from what I gathered, the secret techniques of the Yamanaka Clan are based on spiritual energy alone. No physical energy."

Sasuke walked to Eiji's side and examined the notebook. "Really? Huh. I thought physical and spiritual energy were required for jutsu."

Eiji shook his head. "Not theirs. They use unique hand seals to prevent the usage of physical energy, like these." Eiji explained, pointing to a few of the sketches he had made.

"How many of their jutsu did you manage to copy?"

"Just one, sorry. The rest are too chakra-intensive for us." Eiji apologized.

Sasuke frowned, shrugging. "Well, what's the one we _can_ do?"

"This one, the Mind Transfer Jutsu." Eiji replied, pointing to one of his sketches.

"What does that one do?"

"You take over a person's body by overriding their mind with your spiritual energy. You form a unique hand seal and aim it at the target. That hand seal prevents the usage of physical energy, and sends only the spiritual energy. Send enough, and you take over the person's mind. Watch, I'll take over that snake over there." Eiji said, pointing to a red and black kingsnake that was curled up in a patch of sun about ten feet away from the two boys.

Sasuke nodded, activating his Sharingan. Eiji formed the aforementioned unique hand seal, creating a window with his hands. He projected his spiritual energy towards the snake.

"It moves really slowly and in a straight line, so your target needs to be completely still and you need to make sure they stay that way, otherwise the attack will-" Eiji stopped talking and his body went completely limp.

Sasuke's eyes widened. He caught Eiji before he fell and hit his head on something. He placed his two index fingers under Eiji's jaw to check his pulse. His heart was beating, and his chest was still rising and falling.

He shook Eiji's body. "Eiji?"

"I'm here, hold on, I'm coming. Man, slithering is harder than it looks." Sasuke heard coming from the grass. The kingsnake slithered up to Sasuke and coiled itself up like a spring, looking up at him.

"Could you put me down?" The snake said in Eiji's voice.

Sasuke did a double-take, looking at the snake, then at Eiji, then back at the snake, who was currently possessed by Eiji. "What the fuck..." He whispered, completely lost. He dropped Eiji's body, Sasuke's brain unable to process the visual and auditory stimulation he had just received.

The snake flinched, as much as a snake could flinch. "Ow."

Sasuke, beyond confused, scratched the back of his head nervously. "Uh, sorry?"

The snake shrugged, as much as a snake could shrug. "In your position, I'm sure I would have done the same thing. As I was saying, if you miss, it takes a while for your soul to return to your body, so you'll be completely defenseless during that period."

Sasuke couldn't believe he was being lectured by a ten-year-old (about to turn eleven in a few weeks) that was mind-controlling a snake. That said, the two of them had effectively just stolen the Yamanaka Clan's secret technique without actually breaking a law, so any weirdness or confusion was absolutely worth it.

Probably.

"Can you read the snake's mind while you're in there?" Sasuke asked, sitting down.

The snake shook its head. "No, but I can talk with her. I used to think snakes were just gross slimy things. She's actually pretty friendly, especially considering that this is the middle of the night for her."

Sasuke looked lost.

The snake paused a moment, looking away. "She says her name is Hebimi, and that she likes your hair."

"Why is it that your voice is coming from a snake? I thought they didn't have vocal chords."

The snake looked confused. "I don't really know."

Sasuke shook his head. "Eiji, this is getting too weird. Could you…get out of there?"

The snake nodded. "Yeah, sure."

Eiji sat up, having returned to his body, and the snake-no-Hebimi, bowed her head to Eiji before returning to its sun patch and coiling herself back up.

Eiji waved to the snake. "Bye, Hebimi. Good luck with your hatchlings."

He then looked to Sasuke. "Did you want to try now?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I guess so."

Eiji nodded. "Okay. You copied the jutsu, you know how to do it."

Sasuke formed the seal and aimed it at Eiji. He didn't really know how to describe what he was doing or how he was doing it, but that was how the Sharingan worked: it recorded the jutsu and allowed the user to reproduce it at will. He just felt it out. Eiji was lucky enough to observe the flow of chakra throughout the body and reproduce it at will, and was smart enough to understand how it worked.

(The author is currently trying desperately to refrain from making a joke about "eyeballing it." Please forgive him.)

"Mind Transfer Jutsu..." Sasuke mumbled noncommittally, not sure what to expect.

The world blurred, and he was suddenly looking at himself, limp on the ground.

He blinked. His vision was about four times sharper in his left eye, and when he blinked, he did not lose vision or depth-perception. He reached up to rub the eye, and he felt the metal of Eiji's forehead protector in place of a soft eyelid.

 _Pretty weird, isn't it?_

Sasuke jumped. "Eiji?" He questioned aloud.

 _Yeah, I'm still in here._

"But you can't control your body anymore?"

 _I don't know if I'd be able to push you out. I'm deliberately letting you take the helm._

"And Ino knows how to do this? _"_

Somehow, Sasuke felt Eiji nod. _She does. I copied it from her._

Sasuke stood up, getting used to his his new field of vision. He tried to walk forward, and found himself walking sideways.

* * *

The author will pause a moment to explain Eiji's field of vision. He has one Byakugan and one Sharingan. He has technically awoken the Byakugan and Sharingan in both eyes, but he was not aware that it happened, so he can't do it at will yet. He has a roughly 90-Degree field of vision with his left eye, and roughly twice that in his left. From a top-down perspective, his field of vision would best be represented by an image of Pac-Man with his mouth open; 270 Degrees. He capitalizes on this by covering one eye up, which makes potential opponents assume he has only one third of the field of vision than he actually does. This has resulted in his beating both of his teammates in sparring matches almost every time they fight, though with Kazuko, he just evades her attacks until she tires herself out and gives up. Sasuke walked in the direction he thought was forward, which was actually diagonal left, Northeast on a compass-rose, because it was the exact center of Eiji's field of vision: 135-Degrees.

Eiji has had his whole life to adjust to his field of vision. He has known nothing different.

Sasuke has had roughly one minute.

The author will now resume the story. He hopes that you found the above paragraph sufficiently informative/expository.

* * *

Sasuke righted himself and blinked in rapid succession. "You walk around like this every day?"

 _As far back as I can remember, yeah._

Sasuke pulled down Eiji's hood and felt Eiji's hair idly. His eyes widened. He reached up and felt it with both hands, stroking Eiji's glossy ethereal black/purple hair. It felt like silk. "Your hair is really soft."

 _Long hair takes work._ Eiji repeated bluntly.

Sasuke suddenly regretted his somewhat minimalist routine in the shower.

"Is this a Hyuuga thing? I've never felt your mother's hair before."

 _Well, yes, it is, but I take care of it._

Sasuke walked around, adjusting to his new proportions and field of vision. "This is really weird."

 _How do you think I feel? I'm sitting here in the back of my own head, watching you pilot my body._

Sasuke looked Eiji's hands and forearms, pulling up the oversized sleeves.

"Why do you wear such baggy clothes? They must snag on everything." Sasuke asked, flopping Eiji's hoodie around.

 _I want to keep potential enemies from seeing my body. If I wear baggy clothes, I'll look slimmer. Weaker. It also keeps them from seeing the hand seals I make. I can't do them fast enough to make them unreadable, so I just cover up my hands._

Sasuke had never thought about that before. "Huh. I've never thought of doing that."

Sasuke felt a sharp pain in Eiji's forehead. He fell to Eiji's knees with a yell, breath hitching up. "Eiji, rgh, what's happening?"

 _I get chronic migraines, remember? This is what it feels like. Enjoy._

Sasuke crumpled. The pain was growing unbearable.

 _Bear with it, Sasuke. It's just like brain freeze._

"Are you feeling this too?" Sasuke asked, gritting his teeth.

 _Yep. It hurts like hell._

The pain suddenly receded. Sasuke began breathing normally again.

"How often do those happen?" Sasuke asked, shaking Eiji's head.

 _Every few hours._

"How long can they last?"

 _The longest one I got lasted for about six hours._

Sasuke winced sympathetically. "Oh man."

 _I had a mission that day, too. Six hours of that in the hot sun._

Sasuke had had enough. "Okay, how do I go back?"

 _It's like releasing your grip on something. Relaxing a muscle. Just...let go, or something._

"Eiji, what does that mean?" Sasuke questioned desperately.

 _I figured it out, and I'm ten. You can do it._ Eiji encouraged.

Sasuke felt around with his chakra. He tried releasing it.

 _No Sasuke-!_

Sasuke promptly expelled chakra from the tenketsu in Eiji's hands, blasting his body away and into the air with a Vacuum Palm.

Sasuke yelped and stood up in Eiji's body, sprinting for his body and catching it before it hit the ground. "Eiji, what was that?"

 _That's something that all Hyuuga can do. We can expel chakra from every tenketsu in our body. Good catch, by the way._

Sasuke felt around again. He found nothing other than Eiji's reserves of chakra, which he promptly decided to **leave the hell alone.**

"Uh, Eiji..." He said with an uncharacteristic nervousness.

 _Don't tell me you're stuck. Please don't tell me you're stuck._

"Don't panic, don't panic…" Sasuke said to himself, voice almost breaking.

 _Sasuke, don't worry. All we have to do is find a Yamanaka and get them to switch us back._

Sasuke looked back at his body. "Are we just going to leave me here?"

 _No, and I'd recommend using my voice so we don't freak people out._

"Can I do that?"

 _Yeah. You chakra is screwing with my vocal chords to imitate your voice. My chakra should fix it._

Sasuke felt a strange sensation in his throat.

 _That should do it._

"Alright, then. Where should we put my body?" He asked, nearly jumping at hearing Eiji's voice come at his command.

 _Doesn't matter, just make sure you're safe. Whatever happens to your body also happens to mine, and we'll both feel it._

"Okay, I'll just stop by our house, then."

 _I'd recommend the cover-story of me knocking you out if my mom's home._

Sasuke walked over to his body and hoisted it over Eiji's shoulder. "That's not realistic and you know it."

 _Would you rather_ Naruto _have knocked you out?_

"I exhausted my chakra and fell asleep while we were training." Sasuke suggested, leaping into the trees.

 _Oh. That works._

Sasuke leapt through the trees, adjusting surprisingly quickly to Eiji's slightly more muscular build. He made it back to Konoha proper in a few minutes, sneaking as quickly and quietly as he could back to their home. Fortunately, Himawari didn't appear to be there, and Naruto was probably still in bed.

 _Oh man am I glad we don't have to explain this to anyone._

"Hey, Eiji." Naruto greeted with a yawn, exiting is room, still in his pajamas, stuffed frog under his arm.

 _Oh, fuck me._

Naruto yawned again. "Hey, why are you carrying Sasuke?"

His blue eyes widened in excitement, dropping his stuffed frog. "Did you knock him out or something? That would be awesome."

Sasuke shook Eiji's head. "No. He did a super cool badass Jutsu and exhausted himself."

Eiji "said" nothing, but Sasuke felt a distinct wave of "fuck off" from the back of his mind.

Naruto looked disappointed. "Oh, man, I was really hoping you had finally shown him that you're stronger."

"Sasuke is stronger than me in every way." Sasuke said, highly offended.

 _Sasuke, you're really pushing it._

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Really? What about that taijutsu you were working on? That looked unbeatable."

 _I have no idea what he's talking about_

Sasuke did not let his confusion show. "Sasuke's Sharingan saw through it in an instant. He's too strong for me."

 _I swear, Sasuke, I will_ actually _kick your ass if you say one more untruth._

"But it looked so cool and weird! I was sure it would work." Naruto protested.

"I have somewhere to be." Sasuke said, dropping his body in his bed and walking out of the apartment, ignoring Naruto's asking where he was going.

Sasuke walked Eiji's body down the street. He glanced at Eiji's reflection in a shop window, and a plan instantly formed in his head. He removed Eiji's hoodie and tied it around Eiji's waist.

 _Sasuke, what are you doing?_

"Start talking." He mumbled, almost inaudibly.

 _About what?_

Sasuke shifted Eiji's expression to one of Sasuke's usual condescending frowns. "What was that taijutsu Naruto was talking about?"

 _Something I've been working on for the Chunin Exams, don't worry about it._

Sasuke admired Eiji's surprisingly muscular arms. He tied Eiji's forehead protector around Eiji's stomach, just above his belt. "Eiji, you aren't even going to the Chunin Exams. Himawari said you weren't."

 _It's just like you said: My mom doesn't know everything._

"I'll cut you a deal: you show me that taijutsu you were working on, and I won't tell Himawari about whatever it is you're planning." Sasuke offered, pulling up Eiji's fingerless gloves.

 _Fine, now you tell me what you're doing._

"I'm doing you a favor, idiot." He mumbled, adjusting Eiji's moonstone necklace to lay in a straight line down his chest.

 _You're making me look ridiculous. Put my hoodie back on._

Sasuke examined Eiji's new look approvingly. "You look a few years older." Sasuke was correct. Eiji could easily pass for a thirteen-year-old. Eiji was one of those kids that hit puberty _very_ early, much like his mother and very unlike his father. Himawari had started to hit puberty at nine, and Eiji did as well. He was starting to grow very quickly, and was already about Sasuke's size. That combined with all of the manual labor he'd been doing for the past month and change led to a boy that, if he bothered to come out of his shell, would likely look very attractive to many, if not all, of the girls in his age group. He had both the Uchiha edge and the Hyuuga regality in his features, though he had gotten the Hyuuga build exclusively (broad shoulders and narrow hips), and his ghostly pallor was considered attractive in much of the shinobi world.

 _You can see how mismatched my eyes are, right?_

Sasuke deactivated Eiji's Byakugan. He noted how the mental commands were the same for both the Byakugan and Sharingan; a simple mental on/off switch.

"Yes, I can. You've got a crush on Ino, right?"

 _Uh..._ Sasuke could feel Eiji's embarrassment.

Sasuke chuckled. "Trust me, Eiji, I'm doing myself a favor too."

 _Sasuke, what are you going to do?_

"Ino started working in the Yamanaka Flower shop recently, right?"

 _Well yeah, but-_

"And her father is on a mission?" Sasuke asked, messing with Eiji's hair and covering his Byakugan with it.

 _He should have left earlier today with my mom and Amaya Sarutobi, but I don't-_

Sasuke smirked. "Good. I shouldn't have any problems, then."

Sasuke felt realization. _Sasuke, don't you fucking dare._

Sasuke chuckled. "Oh, Eiji, I'm going to enjoy getting that blonde idiot off my back."

 _Sasuke, I am begging you. I will give you my allowance and half of my mission earnings for the next year if you don't do this._

"Nope." Sasuke felt almost giddy. He would get some kind of new taijutsu and he would lose one of his incredibly annoying female admirers. Two birds with one stone.

 _Seventy-five percent?_

Sasuke started down the street towards Yamanaka Flower Shop, which was, conveniently enough, quite close. "I wouldn't take it if you offered me all of it. What I get out of this transcends money."

 _I'll do your chores._

"You do them anyway."

 _What can I offer you?_

"You're already doing it."

 _No, YOU'RE doing it._

"Not so far as Ino's concerned."

 _IT WOULD BE A RELATIONSHIP BUILT ON LIES_

"I'm just giving you a push in the right direction. I know Ino, she'll do the rest."

 _NO._

Sasuke did not respond to any of Eiji's further protestations. He swaggered down the street, smirking as he observed many of the girls (some of them as old as fifteen) dropping whatever they were doing to stare at him.

 _Wait no actually what's happening._ Eiji asked flatly.

"It's called sex appeal, Eiji. You've got lots of it for a kid your age." Sasuke said quietly, winking at a girl carrying a basket of apples. She promptly turned red and dropped the basket, apples spilling out onto the ground. She turned a darker shade of red and scrambled to pick them up. Sasuke walked Eiji over and squatted down next to the girl.

"Let me help." Sasuke offered in Eiji's voice.

The girl, probably about twelve, looked flustered. "I, uh, I-"

Sasuke made Eiji smirk suggestively, wordlessly and quickly picking up all of the apples and placing them back in the basket. He handed the basket back to the girl, who smiled, turning an even darker shade of red, resembling the apples she had just dropped. "I, uh, thank you." She giggled.

 _What the hell why are you so good at this. You never talk to girls ever._

Sasuke made Eiji smile. "It's no trouble at all, sweetheart." He planted a kiss on the girl's cheek before continuing down the street. Blood dribbled from her nose and she promptly fell backwards onto her back, twitching.

 _Is she okay?!_

Sasuke continued down the road. "Yes, she's fine. You've seen what happens to people who see Naruto's Sexy Jutsu."

 _Are you using a Transformation Jutsu? I don't think you are._

"No, Eiji, this is all you." He encouraged quietly, entering the Yamanaka Flower Shop. A bell rang, alerting Ino to the presence of a customer.

"Hold on, I'll be there in a minute!" Ino said from somewhere in the back of the shop.

 _OH FUCK SHE'S HERE._

* * *

Ino Yamanaka had had a bad day. First, her father had left her early in the morning with no food, leaving her to cook for herself. He had woken her up incredibly early in the morning as well, as the flower shop opened extremely early. Secondly, her mother was cranky, because she was very sick, so dealing with her was a nightmare. Then, her first customer had been Sakura, who had come exclusively to tell her off for flirting with Sasuke. That had left a sour taste in her mouth. Then, she had accidentally shortchanged her next customer, and he had yelled at her about it for ten minutes straight.

At present, she was trying to get a particularly pesky and testy flower to grow straight, and there was another customer that she had to deal with in the shop.

All of this for minimum wage.

"Hold on, I'll be there in a minute!" She shouted over her shoulder.

She turned back to the flower. "You're gonna have to start growing straight, buddy, or I'm gonna have to move you along." She hissed at it, keeping her voice low.

The flower did not respond.

She cursed quietly and brushed a lock of hair from her face. Today sucked so far, and she hoped it would be over as soon as possible.

She picked up the uncooperative flower and walked towards the cash register, eyes on the flower.

"Hello and welcome to Yamanaka Flower Sh-" She stopped midsentence.

She dropped the pot, though it and all the rest of today's blights suddenly disappeared.

Behind the counter was quite possibly the most beautiful boy she had ever seen. Pale skin and a simultaneously beautiful and handsome, regal face smiled at her, full of subtle implications. His arms were impressively muscled for, she guessed a thirteen-year-old, boy. Her favorite part was his hair, an ethereal black waterfall that glimmered purple when the light hit it just right. It partially covered his face and draped across his broad shoulders as it fell down past his narrow waist and stopped at what she guessed was a well-formed, firm backside.

"H-hello a-and w-welcome to Y-Yama-" She struggled to form words. The boy's large and expressive black and white eyes bored into her as he leaned closer to her face. She was desperately hoping that he'd kiss her.

He stopped centimeters from her face. All she saw was black and white.

"A dozen roses, please." His voice was music to her ears.

She nodded enthusiastically and ran off to the roses, clumsily cutting twelve of them and bundling them together in a plastic wrapping. She returned to the counter. Her fingers shakily pressed the correct buttons on the cash register.

"That'll b-be twenty-f-five ryo, p-please." She stammered.

The boy removed some bills from his pocket and handed them to her. Her hand briefly grazed his. His skin was very warm.

"Keep the change."

Oh, that voice. You could record him reading from a dictionary and call it music and it would fly off the shelves.

She wordlessly handed him the flowers. He placed them on the counter and flicked through a series of hand seals. The roses exploded in a puff of smoke, and when the smoke cleared, six of them were black, and six of them were white.

He handed them back. "For the lady."

Was she dreaming? She didn't care.

She shakily accepted the flowers. While her hands were outstretched, he gently but firmly grasped on, and kissed it lightly. His lips were even warmer than his hand. He turned around and began walking away, confirming her assumption of a well-toned backside.

She found her words. "What's your name?" She managed to spit out.

He stopped, looking back at her. "Eiji Hyuuga."

He exited the flower shop, hair billowing in the breeze.

She was still for the longest time. She didn't know how long, really. It must have been a while, though, because Her legs were starting to get sore when Sakura walked back in.

"Hey, Ino-pig." Sakura spat, obviously grumpy about something.

Ino sighed, a grin on her face. She leaned forward, gently placing the flowers on the counter and putting her head in her hands. She smiled, looking out the door.

"Hey, Sakura." She exhaled.

"Sakura looked at her, confused. "You okay, Ino?"

"Way more than okay." She answered truthfully.

Sakura's eyes darted to the flowers, then back at Ino. "Did Sasuke give these to you?" She asked, tone half-angry and half-horrified.

"Who?" Ino asked, legitimately confused as to who Sakura could possibly be talking about.

"Sasuke Uchiha? You know, the coolest guy in the world?"

"Oh, him. Yeah, I'm over him. I got a new guy."

Sakura raised an eyebrow comically high. "Who?"

Ino sighed dreamily. "Eiji Hyuuga."

* * *

 _ **SASUKE YOU MOTHERFUCKER. I'M PULLING THE PLUG ON THIS RIGHT NOW.**_

Sasuke's vision blurred and he sat up in bed. He laughed, folding his arms. His plan worked. That had pissed off Eiji enough to boot him back into his own body, and now Sakura would get jealous of Ino and start chasing after Eiji too. His girl problems were over.

* * *

 **A/N:** This chapter came way easier than I expected it to. It was originally meant to be Sasuke and Eiji stealing everyone's jutsu, but then it turned into...

...this.

I also want to address some reviews I've gotten from people concerned about Eiji's being bi.

Let me be clear: this story will have no blatantly sexually explicit content in it.

Ever.

At most, there will be a Bioware-style fade to black, or flashes of sex with a really fuzzy lens and poor audio quality, if that makes sense.

"Lemon-scented" is the phrase I'm looking for.

I'm a straight guy.

I can't write guy-on-guy stuff. Yaoi makes me nauseous.

And Eiji's ten years old.

TEN.

I mean, he hit puberty pretty early for a boy, so he looks a bit older, but at most, he and Ino are going to have a little puppy-love thing going on that won't go any further than kisses on the cheek, at least for now.

There might be a series of slightly more citrus-y stories when Eiji gets older, but those are going to be in a separate story. The Bastard of Konoha is rated R, not NC-17.

~Essence of Clotheslining.

P.S: I always like the idea of Sasuke being super good at charming girls even if he doesn't like them. I don't know why, but it just cracks me up.

P.P.S: A horizontal line, if it's in the middle of a story, is either a P.O.V switch, a chapter end/start, or me saying "fuck it, I'm gonna spell something out for the readers just to be super clear."


	14. Chapter 13: (Read Chapter for Title)

**A/N:** You ever see those kids that look way older than they are? Himawari was one of those kids, and so is Eiji. Hinata's like this too, obviously, but Hanabi takes after her father more, who was something of a late-bloomer, at least in this story.

Speaking of Eiji, I wouldn't be sexualizing him if this wasn't fanfiction based on an anime. If this were a more realistic world, he'd be a great deal more childlike.

This chapter starts a day or so after the last one.

* * *

Chapter 13: Deceptions, Fascinations, and Registrations

Eiji clung to the side of his teacher's home with a chakra-enhanced grip, looking in through the window.

 _Looks like the sleeping pills are working._ Eiji observed, noting Ryuji's complete lack of snoring.

He backflipped off the wall and landed gracefully on the ground. He idly wondered why exactly Ryuji lived in the Uchiha district as he prepared to form three hands seals.

 _Dark skin, statuesque build, six-foot-eight, blonde hair, wide face, scars across the left side of the mouth and on the right cheek, amber eyes, giant dragon tattoo._

Dog.

Boar.

Ram.

Tiger.

 ***POOF***

Eiji exploded in a puff of smoke, and looked over at the windowed storefront of an abandoned convenience store.

Instead of Ryuji, "he" saw a pale-skinned, incredibly buxom woman with mismatched eyes and incredibly long, black hair.

She wore no clothing and had no body hair.

Blood dribbled from her nose.

 _Whoops._

"He" started again.

Dog.

Boar.

Ram.

Dragon.

 ***POOF***

When the smoke cleared again, Eiji had transformed into a perfect imitation of Ryuji. The clothing was perfect, and thanks to his Byakugan, he had even managed to imitate Ryuji's anatomy perfectly. It was, for all intents and purposes, flawless; a transformation that only someone with the Byakugan or Sharingan could penetrate. Still, Eiji couldn't shake the feeling that he was forgetting something.

Then Eiji examined his reflection in the window of the abandoned storefront a bit closer.

 _Oh. That's what's wrong._

He was not standing like Ryuji. Ryuji was like a peacock, strutting around and displaying all of his best attributes with clothing that was tight or loose in all the right places. He stood straight up, muscled chest puffed out with his head held high. Ryuji was rather modest about his own abilities and physique when asked, but the way he carried himself conveyed a complete confidence in everything about himself, even the less than complimentary bits, minimal as the were.

Eiji was less confident.

Much less.

He was fully aware of what he looked like, but unlike Ryuji, he didn't really like what he saw. This led to Eiji having a near-perpetual slouch. He didn't stride confidently like his teacher, instead shuffling around like a person that didn't want to be looked at, with his hands in his pockets and his hood over his head, concealing almost all of his features. The one thing he _did_ like about his appearance was his hair, which was one of the reasons he had fought Ryuji so hard on cutting it.

In other words, Eiji was standing like he normally stood, which would immediately clue in anyone that knew Ryuji to Eiji's not actually being Ryuji.

Eiji corrected his stance, his back protesting at the new position, and made his way towards the Hokage's office.

The old Uchiha district wasn't very large and almost completely depopulated, and it wasn't long before he entered the more populated areas of Konoha.

He wasn't used to being this tall, but he adjusted quickly enough. He avoided eye contact with most everyone, but that didn't mean that they didn't look at him. Ryuji had apparently lived in Konoha for upwards of fifteen years, but his features were still so remarkably different than the average Konoha denizen that he received a great deal of attention. It made Eiji very uncomfortable.

Fifteen minutes later, he was at the Hokage's doorstep.

 _This'll only take a few minutes, Eiji. You can do it._

He steeled his nerves and entered the Hokage's office, nonchalantly melding into the crowd of gathered Jounin. Hiruzen Sarutobi sat behind his large desk, and he had apparently already started the meeting.

"...your fellow Jounin here, you realize what this is about."

Kakashi, as usual, looked bored. "So soon? I thought we'd have a little more time."

"I take it all the other lands have been notified about the coming event? I noticed some of their Genin have already arrived from the other villages." Asuma noted, cigarette dangling from his lip.

"So? When do we start?" Kurenai asked, raising an eyebrow.

The Lord Third exhaled a cloud of smoke tiredly. "Did none of you read the fliers I sent out a month ago? Ah, well, I suppose it doesn't matter anymore. Exactly seven days from today, on the first day of June, the Genin will be gathered and tested. Only the very best will be selected as Chunin."

Kakashi's visible eye widened. "Only a week? That's pretty short notice."

Hiruzen ignored him. "It's time we chose our candidates. Will those in charge of the rookie Genin step forward?"

Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, and Eiji stepped forward. The Lord Third narrowed his eyes when he saw Eiji.

Hiruzen tilted his head downwards, large hat concealing his eyes. "Kakashi, Kurenai, Ryuji, and Asuma. What do you say? Are there any in your squads you'd recommend? Any Genin who are ready for the exams, despite their inexperience?" Eiji could somehow feel Hiruzen staring at him from under his hat.

Eiji noticed Iruka frown nervously.

The Third Hokage motioned towards Kakashi. "So, Kakashi, You begin."

Kakashi held and index finger up to his mask. "I lead Squad Seven: Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno. I, Kakashi Hatake, recommend all three of these Genin for the Chunin Selection Exams."

Eiji's eyes widened imperceptibly. Sakura was not ready by any stretch of the imagination. Naruto and Sasuke certainly were, but not her. He silently prayed that they'd keep her safe.

Iruka gasped in surprise.

Kurenai followed Kakashi. He caught himself staring at her cleavage when she raised her index and middle fingers to her chest. "And my squad is number eight: Hinata Hyuuga, Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame. And now I, Kurenai Yuuhi, recommend all three."

Eiji did not interact with Hinata often, but he still cared about his aunt, and he really hoped she was ready. His mother had been tutoring her in the art of the Gentle Fist, and Himawari was the best Gentle Fist user in the known world, so he was confident that Hinata would do okay.

Eiji followed Kurenai, keeping his voice level. "I lead Squad Nine: Eiji Hyuuga, Kazuko Hoki, and Mayumi. I, Ryuji Inazuma, recommend all three for the Chunin Exams." Eiji had copied Ryuji's speech patterns by watching his lips, facial expression, and vocal chords with both his eyes whenever his teacher spoke, resulting in a perfect imitation of his teacher's voice.

Eiji noticed the ghost of a smile on the Lord Third's lips.

Asuma finished. "And I lead number ten: Ino Yamanaka, Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akimichi. And now I, Asuma Sarutobi, recommend all three."

 _Ino's going to be in the exams too?_

Eiji silently began to panic.

The Jounin behind the three Jounin-Teachers and the one Genin began speaking amongst themselves in anxious disbelief.

Iruka pushed through the crowd, drawing Eiji's thoughts away from the blonde kunoichi. "Hold on just a minute!"

Eiji and the other Jounin turned to look at him. The Hokage nodded in his direction. "What is it, Iruka?"

Iruka looked very worried, and there was a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. "Lord Hokage, with all due respect, the twelve names that were just given, bar Mayumi and Kazuko, were all my students at the academy. I know their skills and abilities. Every one of them shows great promise, but it's too soon! They need more time, more experience, before they are tested. If they try now, they'll fail the exam."

Kakashi, as always, looked bored. "When I became a Chunin, I was six years younger than Naruto is now."

 _Kakashi was_ six _when he passed the exams?!_

"Naruto is nothing like you! Are you trying to destroy him?!" Iruka spat furiously.

Eiji recognized the look on Iruka's face. It was the same look his mother had given him every time he pushed her to let him participate in the Chunin Exams.

"Well, they're always complaining about not being challenged enough. Maybe wiping out on the exams will teach them a lesson. A little pain is good."

Iruka was so angry he could barely form words. "Wha-what did you say?!"

Kakashi shrugged. "Oh, nothing fatal, of course, just a few cuts and bruises, a broken bone at most. Seriously, Iruka, relax."

Iruka threw his hands in the air, scoffing in frustration.

Kakashi held up a hand. "I understand how you feel; it's very personal for you, and it upsets you, but-"

Kurenai cut him off. "Alright, Kakashi. Back off, you've said enough."

Kakashi didn't take his eye off Iruka. "To the contrary, Kurenai, Iruka needs to hear this. He needs to realize that they're not his students anymore. They're ours. Most pointedly, Naruto is no longer yours. He's _mine._ "

 _As does my mother._

Iruka growled, glaring at Kakashi with narrowed eyes. Kurenai sighed, crimson eyes closing.

Iruka turned to the Hokage, desperation apparent in his face. "These exams could destroy them, you know that!"

Hiruzen held up a hand. "Iruka, you have made your point, I understand, you understand, we all understand."

Iruka wiped the sweat from his forehead with a heavy sigh. "Lord Hokage-"

Hiruzen cut him off. "Given the large amount of participants in this summer's exams and their inexperience, I have decided that the wisest course of action is to hold preliminaries prior to the finals. First, we will have a written exam, proctored by Ibiki Morino. Then, a survival exercise in the Forty-Fourth Training Ground, proctored by Anko Mitarashi. Then come the preliminaries: all Genin that pass the second phase will be paired off to fight for a spot in the finals."

Sharingan masked by the transformation jutsu, Eiji recorded the movements of the Lord Third's lips so that he could relay the information to his team later.

Iruka threw his hands in the air and left, storming out a side door.

Hiruzen sighed, rubbing his forehead. "You all received application forms in the mail, I believe. Hand them out to your students as soon as you can. Dismissed."

Eiji followed the lead of all the other Jounin and bowed his head to the Third Hokage before he started towards the door.

"Ryuji? A word, please."

 _Shitdammitfuckfuckfuckfu-_

Eiji turned around and walked back towards the Hokage. "Yes, Lord Hokage?"

The Third Hokage took a long drag from his pipe, allowing all the other Jounin to leave before responding.

He exhaled a cloud of smoke in Eiji's face. "Drop the transformation jutsu, Master Hyuuga."

Eiji coughed, waving a hand in front of his face. "Excuse me?"

The Lord Third smiled smugly. "You forgot Ryuji's sword. He carries that blade everywhere he goes."

Eiji slapped his forehead and dispersed the jutsu in a puff of smoke. "I knew I forgot something."

Hiruzen chuckled. "Eiji, you managed to fool everyone but me with a transformation jutsu, even Kakashi. Though I doubt you would have been able to if he took off his forehead protector and used his Sharingan."

Eiji would have been surprised by that if that wasn't the _first_ thing Naruto told him when they got back from the Land of Waves.

The Hokage pocketed his pipe. "I personally believe you're ready for the exams, so I won't stand in your way, but are you absolutely sure you want to drag your team into this?"

Eiji nodded. "I am. They're ready."

The Lord Third dropped his smile and stared at Eiji with an expression that would have reduced any lesser child to tears. "Then the responsibility for any and all injuries that befall your team up until the preliminaries will be placed squarely on your head."

Eiji narrowed his mismatched eyes in a rare display of frustration. Eiji, for all his slouching and sulking and self-hatred and lack of confidence, was not an omega, or even a beta. Eiji, like both of his parents, was an alpha, a born leader, and that personality manifested itself when it mattered. He wasn't loud about it, like Naruto, but he also wasn't pompous or condescending about it, like Sasuke, both of whom were born alphas as well, at least according to the psychological exams they had been administered.

"There won't be a scratch on either of them." Eiji said evenly.

Hiruzen did not blink. "I pray you are correct. You are dismissed. I will notify Ryuji of the situation. He will come to you and your team later today and provide you with registration forms."

Eiji scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "I may have, well, intercepted Ryuji-sensei's mail."

Hiruzen presented his palm to Eiji. "Hand them over, Eiji."

Eiji averted his eyes and removed the registration forms from his belt. "Sorry." He apologized halfheartedly.

Hiruzen groaned and waved his hand. "Dismissed."

Eiji nodded and walked over to the nearest window, leaping from it and quickly ascending to the rooftops. He turned into a black blur on the horizen, more than likely because Hiruzen's eyesight was fading fast.

* * *

Hiruzen chuckled quietly. Eiji was really something else, just like his father. Eiji was getting older, and he had been looking at potential candidates for Hokage for a good while now. He wanted to encourage as many Genin as he could to aspire for the position, but it was often the ones that didn't initially want the position that made the best leaders.

This was why Hiruzen, assuming Eiji followed through on his promise and won the finals, planned to take Eiji under his wing and train him to be his successor after the exams. Among this generation of Genin, he looked like the best prospect. Not quite as intelligent as Shikamaru Nara, but far more motivated, and, therefore, much more useful. Not quite as skilled as Neji Hyuuga or Sasuke Uchiha, but far more inventive. The only issue was the self-confidence, but that would come with time. Both of his children had been shrinking violets in their genin days, but soon after they hit puberty, that timidness had gone to the wind.

Hiruzen's smile faded. Eiji reminded him so much of Itachi it hurt. Itachi was the last potential candidate for Hokage that he had been looking at, but Danzo had pulled the trigger on that years ago. Both of them reminded him greatly of Tobirama, who had been, in Hiruzen's opinion, the most productive and efficient Hokage the village had ever seen.

He sighed tiredly, rubbing his face. He had no time for reminiscing about missed opportunities or his long-dead mentor; he had a busy day of dealing with pissed-off parents ahead of him. He was very thankful that Himawari would be away on a mission for the next week and change. Replacing all the doors and their associated hinges in the building would be very expensive.

* * *

 _ **One Week Later**_

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-*

 _ ***CRUNCH***_

A small but extremely powerful hand came crashing down on what the sleepy person that the hand was connected to suspected was creating the noise.

Said sleepy person opened her eyes groggily.

She groaned, rubbing her eyes. "Shit, there goes another one...ugh..."

That was the third alarm clock Mayumi had smashed this week, and it was Tuesday. She needed to stop buying the cheap ones and special-order one of the chakra-reinforced steel ones that the Akimichi Clan used, but that required basic discipline, something that Mayumi was never taught. The people at Konoha Orphanage had certainly tried to teach her those skills, but they had learned quickly enough that she preferred being who she was, warts and all, after she had engaged several of them in combat and won.

She had neither the patience nor the desire to do learn those skills on her own, so she would just wait until she got a high-paying mission and commission one then. The money she had received for that C-Rank mission a while back, around 100,000 Ryo, and that had gone towards apartment payments. If she became a Chunin, she'd start getting C and B-Ranked missions more often, and that would increase the flow of money drastically.

She sat up and stretched out, yawning loudly. She idly noticed that her mouth was dry.

She rolled out of bed, eyes barely open, and stumbled across her tiny apartment to the sink and stuck her head underneath the faucet. She turned the knob. Her eyes shot open as cold water saturated her hair. After a minute or so, she turned the knob again, turning off the water. She shivered and shook her head dry, sending water flying everywhere.

 _I'll clean that up eventually. Probably._

She pulled her head out from under the faucet and looked around her apartment. Dirty clothes, ninja tools, and pornographic magazines targeted towards homosexual men lay strewn about the floor, the clothes having been discarded at the end of the day they were worn, the ninja tools the day they lost their sharpness, and the magazines because they had nowhere else to go.

After a quick scavenger hunt for the least dirty items (a dark brown tank top and dark green shorts), she grabbed the doorknob on her front door and twisted it open. She almost walked out the door when she remembered the Chunin Exams application form, which was due today. She stuffed it into her pocket and ran out the door, feet bare so as to feel the chakra in the ground underneath her feet better. She stomped the ground and was ejected high into the air by a pillar of rock.

She smirked, rocketing through the air. She was getting good with the Rock Wall Jutsu, so much so that she didn't even need a hand seal to perform it. That was the one thing, aside from her physical strength, that she had over Eiji: she was capable of performing Earth and Water-styled jutsu without hand seals after a bit of practice, and she could tell from the way he looked at her whenever she performed one that he hated it. He may have been good at practically everything else, but he just didn't get hand seals.

She landed on a rooftop and sprinted across it, using her immense strength to propel herself from the roof's edge and across the gap to the next one. That was something a lot of people didn't think about when they thought "super strength." It wasn't just the upper body that was stronger, and it wasn't entirely selective. Sure, she could choose how much effort she put into things, but to her, lifting a boulder twice her size was like Ryuji lifting her up. Almost nothing. This made basic actions like, say, deactivating one's alarm clock without obliterating it, a lot more difficult.

She didn't like Eiji much, but at least he understood what that was like. That dumb little black diamond on his forehead may have fixed his chakra control issues, but he had a decade of experience of being far too strong for the world around him.

She grimaced, thoughts focusing on Eiji again. She really didn't like him. He just looked so _weird_. When she had first seen him, she legitimately couldn't tell if he was male or female. His face had been concealed enough. his clothing had been baggy enough, and his hair had been long enough that she had actually mistaken him for a girl. It didn't help that the clothing he was wearing was mostly purple at the time, either (he had since switched to blacks and dark greys, though she had seen him wearing all white once when he had gone out to dinner with his grandfather and the Hyuuga Clan elders a few weeks back). She had teased him relentlessly about this, and he had taken it like a champ up until she had unknowingly taken it a step too far and used a homophobic slur instead of what she thought was a joke about his androgyny. She had apologized for it later, and she actually meant it. He had accepted it with that typical kind, quiet condescension of his, and it had only made her hate the little shit more.

Her apologizing definitely didn't have anything to do with his mother threatening to blast her into orbit if she didn't.

Nope.

Certainly not.

Mayumi shivered as she climbed up a street lamp. Himawari was a terrifying woman to make an enemy of.

She vaulted over an air conditioning unit and a few strides and another jump, tuck, and roll later, she was standing outside of the Academy.

Mayumi looked up at the sky. She didn't have a watch like Eiji did, the spoiled upper-class jerk, but she could tell the time from the position of the sun. She guessed it was about 11:30. She smiled. It was rare that she got to places early. It felt satisfying. Not satisfying enough to do it regularly, but still, it felt nice enough.

She entered the Academy.

 _Oh, man. Look at all this competition._

She was staring straight at a veritable tide of Genin from a half-dozen different villages. Most were from Konoha, but she saw the occasional Suna or Kusa headband here and there.

She entered the crowd and began pushing Genin out of her way. "'Scuse me, future Chunin comin' through, move it or lose it, chumps."

She was looking for person wearing all black, or one with silver hair and brown eyes that was more than likely wearing a skirt and a hoodie. She climbed up a flight of stairs and found what she was looking for.

* * *

 **Twenty Minutes Earlier**

Shigeri, as usual, was being an ass. "We're gonna go look for where to register. You stay here and try not to screw things up for me."

Karin Uzumaki adjusted her glasses nervously. "Okay, Shigeri."

Her other teammate, Aito, was also being an ass. "You're only here so we can use that weird chakra biting shit."

She subdued her frustration. "I understand, Aito."

Aito grinned stupidly. "Well, that and your pretty face."

Karin cringed. Kusagakure was good at producing powerful shinobi, but they were rather murky on rights for war refugees like her. It largely differed Kusakage to Kusakage, and this time around, they had gotten bad one, at least in this regard.

Aito and Shigeri turned to leave, melting into the crowd. As soon as they were out of sight and earshot, she sighed tiredly and walked over to a wall, placing her back against it and sitting down with a groan. She really didn't like those two. Aito was rather weak, and even dumber than he was weak, but Shigeri was not. He was a highly intelligent close-range powerhouse that represented a significant investment in their village, and as such, they had paired her up with him, to make sure that he wouldn't be damaged too badly and to patch him up if he was. Aito was there to fill up a gap in the team and function as a human shield for Shigeri. He was completely disposable in every way. That was the way Kusa did things: They would pick out the strongest Shinobi and pair them up with one meat shield and one healer. Of all the Hidden Villages, it often produced the most Jounin, but it also had the highest Genin mortality rates of all of the Hidden Villages.

"Looks like you've got some bad teammates."

Karin jumped and looked to her left. A boy sat there. He was clothed exclusively in black and a hood shaded most of his features. His hair though, oh man. It looked almost fake with how perfect it looked. Hell, it looked like he put more time into his hair than she put into hers, and for Karin Uzumaki, that was really saying something.

She groaned. "You have no idea."

He leaned forward, fiddling with his hands and saying nothing.

She waited a moment before speaking. "My name's Karin. What's yours?"

"Eiji." He replied. He spoke quietly, but his voice was nice. Very smooth for a boy (probably, his age was rather ambiguous) in the throes of puberty. Not much cracking at all.

"What village are you from?" She couldn't tell. She didn't see a forehead protector on him anywhere.

He removed his hood, and she suddenly became a lot more interested. His face was exactly the kind of face she liked. She had always preferred dark-haired men that were more pretty than handsome, and Eiji fit the bill perfectly. He was also a Konoha shinobi, which meant no weird sand jutsu or creepy puppets, like that trio that came in earlier. The only issue was that the item in question that denoted him as a Konoha shinobi also told her that he was missing his right eye.

"I'm, uh, I'm, heh, local produce." He joked awkwardly, pointing to his forehead protector.

"What happened to your eye?" She asked bluntly, pointing to his forehead protector.

He reddened, looking away. "Oh, yeah. I'm just covering it up right now."

"Did you get a dojutsu transplant?" She asked.

He shook his head. "No."

"Oh." Karin was a smart woman. She could tell when people were lying to her, even when she wasn't looking at them with her mind's eye, so to speak. He wasn't lying, so why was he covering up his eye? Surgical scars, perhaps?

He turned a darker shade of red. "Heh, sorry. I'm not too good at talking to new people. Girls especially."

Oh, this boy was just too adorable, even if he was hard to talk to.

Eiji pulled his hood back up and leaned back. He nervously fiddled with his hands. Aside from the obvious social anxiety and seeming lack of interpersonal skills, Eiji had so far met all of her criteria for prospective mates. She almost didn't want to read his chakra for fear of finding something that she didn't like, so she decided she would wait.

Karin, being the assertive woman that she is, decided to try and get him talking; maybe get some more information out of him. He certainly wasn't going to talk if she didn't take initiative.

"So, Eiji, what clan do you belong to?" She asked him, probing for his socioeconomic status.

"The Hyuuga Main House."

So he was cute _and_ loaded? He just got better and better.

Wait a minute. His eye was pitch black, not white. "Wait, if you're a Hyuuga, shouldn't you have the Byakugan?"

"Yeah." He deadpanned, not looking at her.

She frowned. He was being difficult, and not in a cute way. "Well, do you?"

He turned to look at her, anxiety momentarily gone. "Karin, I'm trying to keep any potential advantages I have hidden until I need to use them. I'm sure you understand, what with your chakra chains and healing and sensory abilities. Don't worry, though, I won't tell anyone."

Karin froze. "How-"

"The mesh doesn't cover up the...bite marks...too well, and your hair betrays your being an Uzumaki from a mile away. Sorry." He apologized, pointing to the mesh leggings she was wearing and then her bright red hair.

She was at a loss for words when a small, sliver-haired girl walked over to Eiji and kneeled down next to him.

"Hello, Eiji." She greeted with a shy smile.

It was difficult to tell with his head turned away and his hood up, but it sounded like he was smiling from the tone of his voice. "Hi, Kazuko."

Her heart sank. Of COURSE he had a girlfriend. Guys made of pure gold were never available for long. Well, she'd say he was more like high-quality, untarnished silver at this point, but that was still miles ahead of the men she'd known so far.

Kazuko looked suspiciously at Karin. Her face wasn't hard to read for a Kusa Genin, but it would have looked rather blank to most anyone else. "Who's your friend?"

Eiji motioned towards Karin. "This is Karin. She's a kunoichi from Kusagakure."

Karin was silently thankful that Eiji had not revealed her heritage, and, therefore, abilities, to Kazuko.

Kazuko stuck out her hand stiffly. "I'm Kazuko Hoki, Eiji's teammate. Nice to meet you."

Karin shook her hand and analyzed the expression on her face. She saw jealousy, envy, mild amounts of contempt, and her body language seemed to communicate that she was trying to establish Eiji as hers. As many problems as she had with the way Kusa did things, she was very appreciative of the teachings she had received in reading other people. Eiji didn't appear to be nearly as possessive of Kazuko as she was of him, and in man/woman relationships, the opposite was often more apparent. Either he was confident in their relationship (which she doubted), or Kazuko only had a crush, and Eiji, for one reason or another, was absolutely oblivious to it, or at least trying to ignore it.

Kazuko turned to Eiji. "They're about to open up the waiting room for the first exam. Room 301."

Eiji stood up. "Oh. We should probably get on that, then."

He looked at Karin and offered her a hand.

She took it and he hoisted her up with surprising strength. As she had made note of before, his baggy clothing made it difficult for her to tell exactly what shape he was in, but if the speed with which she was yanked to her feet was any indication, he was quite fit, at least in his upper body.

"Who's your girlfriend, Eiji?" Karin heard a voice ask with incredible amounts of sarcasm.

Eiji closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, aggravation very apparent on his face. "Nice to see you too, Mayumi." He greeted politely.

A hand gripped Eiji's shoulder and a girl with spiky white hair walked out from behind him. She was lean and boyish with mildly tanned skin and a mischievous glint in her large brown eyes. Her clothing was tattered and dusty, and smelled of dirt and soil.

Kazuko huffed. "Why is every girl that Eiji talks to suddenly his girlfriend?"

"Cause they all make googly eyes at him." She said this like it was obvious.

Karin hated this girl already. Her husky voice was incredibly annoying, and it was far too deep for a girl. Not ladylike at all.

Eiji gently removed Mayumi's hand. "Well, Karin, you should probably go find your team."

Karin frowned, disappointed. "Yeah, I'll go get 'em. Bye, Eiji. Good luck."

Eiji nodded. "Likewise."

She turned around and started scanning the crowd for her teammates' chakra signatures. Oh well. He was cute, no question there, but he was so awkward and difficult to talk to. Ultimately, the arbiter of whether or not she pursued him further would be the quality of his chakra.

* * *

Mayumi gripped Eiji's shoulder again and spun him around. "Who was that?"

"A Kusagakure Genin named Karin." He explained.

Mayumi frowned, her expression a mixture of confusion and frustration. "Why were you talking to her? She's competition."

Eiji shrugged. "Not necessarily. There's no reason to make an enemy of someone unless we have to, and making allies could only help."

Mayumi was confused. As far as she was concerned, everyone but Eiji and Kazuko were enemies, and she would turn on Eiji the second she was encouraged to do so.

Kazuko nodded. "That makes sense. Good idea, Eiji."

Mayumi groaned. "Oh get off it, Kazuko."

Kazuko held up her hands defensively. "What? It's a good idea."

Eiji sighed tiredly. "Let's just shelve it for now and get to room 301."

Mayumi and Kazuko glared at each other. Kazuko had never acted like this about Eiji before.

Mayumi noticed a numbered pair of double doors in her periphery. "It's right over there." She said, pointing to the doors in question.

Eiji looked somewhat confused. "We're on the second floor, what's happening?"

Mayumi pushed through the crowd to get to the doors just in time to see a boy in a green jumpsuit get punched in the face by one of two Chunin that were apparently guarding the door. One had dark skin, spiky black hair and a bandaged face, and the other wore his forehead protector like a cap, but otherwise looked completely average. Mayumi would rate each as "fives" on her attractiveness scale. Completely unremarkable, but not entirely unpleasant to look at. Average in every way, like extras in a film or bit characters in fiction. The boy in the green jumpsuit, though, he was either a four or a six, depending on if you could stomach his bowl cut and giant eyebrows.

For the record, Mayumi could. She didn't know what a perfect ten was yet, but she had people assigned to all of the other numbers.

Kakashi was a nine. She would forever be envious of Team Seven being assigned to him. She had seen him with his mask off in one of her trips to the Hot Springs, and he was gorgeous. He was possessed of a unique handsomeness that was simultaneously gracefully beautiful and undeniably masculine. Muscular and fit, but not too big. He was also an avid reader of the Icha Icha franchise, and to describe her as an avid fan of that series and its author would be a drastic understatement. Still, there was something off about him that kept him from being a ten. She couldn't tell what it was.

Ryuji was an eight. He was handsome in a very masculine sense, but his attractiveness was opinion (like the boy in the green jumpsuit's), not fact (like Kakashi's), and his incredible size kept him from being a nine. He was too big, too bulky.

Asuma Sarutobi was a solid seven, maybe a seven-point-five. He probably would have been an eight if he didn't smoke.

The boy in the green jumpsuit was, for her, a six. Well-defined musculature, handsome features, and obviously powerful. His eyes were certainly strange and his hair was even weirder, but nobody was perfect, and his imperfections, in her eyes, were rather cute.

Naruto was a five, but less because he was average and more because he had a few major things going for him and a few major problems. She liked how fit he was, and his skin had a healthy glow that conveyed a love for the outdoors, something she greatly identified with, but his scratchy voice was somewhat grating and she didn't like his hair much. If his hair was darker and his voice a bit less scratchy, he'd probably be a seven.

Shikamaru was a four. He was too skinny, too lazy.

Choji was a three. Too much around the midsection. Great conversation, though.

Eiji was a two, and he was only a two because Sasuke was a one. There was something about those two that she just despised. They were the least attractive and least likable human beings she'd ever met. She didn't understand all the fangirls Sasuke had, and she especially didn't understand why he didn't capitalize on them.

The dark-skinned (for Konoha) Chunin scoffed. "You're takin' the Chunin Exams but you can't even get past _us?_ "

The other one sneered. "Why don't you just give up now, before you get hurt?"

The first laughed. "Heh, yeah, I think I hear your mommy callin' you."

A girl in a pink sleeveless shirt crouched down to help the boy in the green jumpsuit up. "Please let us through, we're supposed to go in there!"

She stood up and walked towards the door, and she was promptly sucker-punched by the one wearing his forehead protector like a cap. She reeled backwards and fell over on her rear.

Kazuko frowned, looking concerned. "Seems a bit harsh." She mumbled in Eiji's ear.

The dark-skinned one laughed. "Did someone say 'harsh?' Don't kid yourself. We're being nice by comparison. The exams are gonna make this look like a picnic."

"Some of you won't survive the exams, others will be wrecked for life, and some of you may go crazy. For Chunin, it's always life and death."

Eiji frowned. He tapped Mayumi on the shoulder and brought both her and Kazuko in close, so only they could hear him, as the two Chunin continued threatening the crowd of Genin. "These two are Jounin using a transformation jutsu to look younger. They're trying to scare off the people with weak constitutions. They're using a genjutsu on the sign above the door. This isn't room 301, it's room 201. We're on the second floor. This is all a trick. They're just holding us up, let's go."

Mayumi may not have liked Eiji, but she never once doubted his abilities, infuriatingly superior to hers as they were. She and Kazuko nodded, and the three of them started walking away. She idly noted how Team 7 had just arrived.

Mayumi heard a small object impact the back of Eiji's head, and she turned her head just quickly enough to see a small piece of crumpled paper hit the floor.

"Hey, didn't you hear me? I said this was no place for delicate little girls."

Mayumi grinned and snorted, stifling a laugh again.

Eiji twitched, hand curling up into a fist. "I'm a boy."

The dark-skinned one laughed. "You sure don't look like it."

Mayumi grinned. She was starting to like these two.

Sasuke Uchiha stepped out from the crowd. "Real nice speech, guys. Very clearly rehearsed. Now both of you, step aside and let us through."

The crowd started muttering about Eiji while Sasuke stepped forward to look the two disguised Jounin in the eyes. "And while you're at it, reverse the genjutsu. We can see through your illusion anyway."

The average-looking one frowned. "So you noticed the Genjutsu, huh?"

Sasuke smiled smugly and looked back at Sakura. "Go ahead, tell them, Sakura. I'm sure you caught it before anyone else did."

Sakura perked up. "Huh?"

"You have the sharpest eyes and the best analytical skills on our squad. You must've seen this coming a mile away."

She blushed, giggling. "Well, yeah. This is only the second floor."

Naruto nodded. "Right!"

The sign above the door flickered and the 3 became a 2.

The dark-skinned one narrowed his eyes. "So you noticed an illusion, tch. Let's see you deal with this!" He shouted, leaping at Sasuke and aiming a kick at his face. Mayumi desperately hoped that the kick would land. Unfortunately, Sasuke raised his foot to counter the attack.

Mayumi saw a blur of green, and suddenly the boy in the green jumpsuit was standing there, having stopped both of their attacks. He was taller than a great deal of the other Genin here, and his jumpsuit conveyed a very well-defined physique. Mayumi wondered what he looked like naked.

The boy let go of both of the other ninja's feet, Sasuke lowering his leg and the disguised Jounin handspringing back to his feet.

Mayumi laughed at the expression on Sasuke's face, eliciting a few glares from the crowd. He looked incredibly surprised that someone had managed to stop his kick.

Oh, the fun she would have tossing him around like a ragdoll.

The crowd dissipated and began walking towards the stairs as a boy that resembled Eiji a great deal walked up to the boy in the green jumpsuit. "Hey, Lee, what happened to the plan? You were the one who suggested we keep a low profile and not let anyone see our skill level."

Lee pursed his lips in frustration. "I know, but..." He turned red, looking at Sakura with a determined expression.

The girl in the pink shirt sighed and shook her head. "Never mind, it's over, forget it."

Lee walked up to Sakura. She noticed Eiji stiffen next to her.

She looked over at Eiji, then back at Lee. She tapped Eiji's shoulder. "You know that guy?"

"His name's Rock Lee. Copied his taijutsu. That guy's a monster. Don't let him get in close."

"'Monster' as in monstrously strong?" Kazuko asked.

"I saw him chop a training dummy in half with his hand."

Kazuko paled. "Oh. But you copied it, right?"

Eiji shrugged. "Yeah, but I'm not nearly strong enough to successfully pull it off. I can do most of his stuff, though, at least the stuff I saw. I know how to use nunchaku now, if that helps to know."

Lee locked eyes with Sakura. "My name is Rock Lee. You are Sakura, right?"

She blinked. "Huh?"

Lee grinned and winked, keeping the eye closed. He gave her a thumbs up. "Please be my girlfriend! I vow to protect you with my life!"

Mayumi looked back at Eiji, snickering at how pale his face was.

Sakura blinked again. "Definitely not."

Eiji started breathing again.

Lee looked absolutely crestfallen. "Why?"

Sakura frowned. "Because you're a weirdo."

Lee and Eiji both looked at their toes. Naruto just started laughing, and Mayumi followed suite.

The boy that looked like Eiji walked over to Sasuke. "You are the Uchiha. Sasuke, correct?"

Sasuke's eyelid twitched. "It's common courtesy to give your own name before asking someone else's, Neji."

Neji scowled. "Has Eiji talked about me?"

Sasuke looked at Neji dryly. "Here and there. He speaks highly of your skill. He claims that you're more skilled in the Gentle Fist than he is."

Neji smirked, but maintained his scowl, adopting a rather sadistic and cruel expression. "Does he, now?"

"Yeah, and from what he's told me, I think you're probably the biggest jerk in the village, and that's coming from me." Sasuke added with a smarmy smirk.

Neji turned bright red, scowling in indignant surprise. The girl in the pink shirt giggled.

Mayumi cracked up, unable to stifle her enjoyment of the situation any longer.

Sasuke walked over to Eiji, and the two began walking towards the stairs. The rest of their respective teams followed behind them, all curious as to what exactly the relationship between Neji and Eiji was. Neji just stood there, incredibly red in the face.

"He seems moody today." Sasuke noted.

Eiji slouched, head tilting towards the ground. "You didn't need to provoke him."

Sasuke frowned. "Why does he hate you so much?"

"I don't know, but it's not just me. He hates my mom, Hinata, and their dad too. I asked my why mom, once. She wouldn't tell me; said I was too young to understand."

Sasuke shook his head disapprovingly. "Hate it when adults say that."

Eiji nodded. "Me too."

Sasuke pointed back to Naruto and Sakura. "We're gonna go grab some lunch before the exams. Wanna come with?"

"No. I ate before I got here, and I want to try and single out the strongest Genin here, see if I can't figure out which ones present the most danger."

Sasuke nodded and patted Eiji's shoulder. "Makes sense. See you in an hour or so. Watch out for Gaara. Small redheaded kid. Weird eye makeup."

Eiji nodded. "I will. Bye. Don't eat too much."

Sasuke turned around and began walking back down the stairs. He paused in front of Mayumi and glared at her.

Mayumi glared back.

Sasuke flipped his hair out of his face with a scoff and walked past her. Sakura giggled something about Sasuke being cool and Naruto began jabbering about ramen as they walked down the hallway.

Mayumi grumbled. She disliked Eiji, but she absolutely despised Sasuke. He was Eiji, but way, WAY worse. Sasuke just seemed to expect to magically get better as he got older, never training or seeking out superior opponents. She had never once seen him do anything other than basic physical conditioning. Eiji at least put some effort into improving, if not the same amount that she and Naruto did.

And besides, he was as thin as a twig with not much of a backside to speak of, which greatly diminished his value in her eyes.

She looked over to her other teammate, Kazuko, who had since taken the lead up the stairs. Mayumi liked Kazuko. She was sweet, kind, smart, and generally helpful. She was accepting of Mayumi's foul mouth and perverse tendencies, going so far as to tolerate Mayumi dragging her to Konoha Hot Springs to peep on hot dudes, even if she spent more time as a lookout and less time actually focusing on the important things.

On the few missions they had in which they encountered hostiles (only bandits that lacked the ability to utilize chakra thus far), Kazuko had done an astounding job at patching her up afterwards (Eiji would, somehow, infuriatingly, just _not_ get hurt, and Ryuji would only step in if his students were losing, at which point the fight would be over in a second and a half, maximum). Mayumi would charge in and crack some skulls and take a lot of hits in the process, and Kazuko would just stitch her up afterwards with that medical ninjutsu of hers. Kazuko and Mayumi were very good friends by now, and both had learned a great deal from each other in their time together, with Kazuko even teaching both her and Eiji entry-level medical ninjutsu (though Eiji had since advanced to the far more complex techniques). This was more than likely why she was so worried about Kazuko. While Kazuko was undoubtedly among the brightest people in the village, even when compared to some Jounin, and she had an understanding of the properties of chakra and ninjutsu that surpassed even _Eiji_ (a guy who, when asked by the right person, just did not know when to shut up about the properties of chakra and how it worked), she simply lacked the the reserves to turn that knowledge into combat ability. Mayumi still felt guilty about not being able to match Eiji and Kazuko in terms of chakra control, even if Eiji was cheating with that seal that afforded him perfect, lossless chakra control.

The trio reached the top of the stairs as Mayumi gravitated to Kazuko's side.

"Sup, Kazzy? Haven't seen you in a while." Mayumi greeted, lightly bumping Kazuko's shoulder.

Kazuko smiled nervously, pushing up her glasses. "Things are going well. I've been searching for potential ways to increase my chakra reserves, and I think I figured out how to do it."

Mayumi didn't really understand the more scientific stuff Kazuko and Eiji could talk about for hours, but Mayumi could still appreciate cool stuff. "How?"

"Eiji's seal gave me an idea. Assuming I find someone with compatible chakra, I can form a seal over my chakra center that provides and stores extra chakra, like a battery. It could even stimulate chakra production."

Unlike Eiji, Kazuko knew how to explain things in basic terms. Mayumi appreciated that. "Oh, that's neat! Find anyone yet?"

Kazuko frowned, looking at the floor. "No, unfortunately. My chakra doesn't seem to like other people much."

"That's weird." It was all she could say given her lack of understanding on the issue.

"Guys, room 301's back here." Eiji called out to them.

Mayumi hadn't noticed, but they had walked past the correct door, and were currently standing next to room 305.

Kazuko went red in the face and turned around, and Mayumi followed suite, sans the embarrassment.

Eiji placed his hands on the handles of the double-doors. Mayumi could hear dozens of voices and conversations coming from that room.

He looked at the two of them seriously. "So, the plan is to keep all of our abilities under wraps for as long as we possibly can."

Kazuko nodded. "Right."

Both of them looked expectantly at Mayumi.

Mayumi groaned, disappointed. "Yeah, yeah, fine. I won't do anything cool."

Eiji sighed. "That's as good as we're going to get, I guess." He resigned.

He opened the door.

* * *

 **A/N:** And now we finally have a chapter that lets us see into the mind of Mayumi. When she refers to Eiji's Strength of a Hundred seal as a "diamond," and when she refers to chakra being in the ground, that's her just being wrong. I know it's a rhombus, but she doesn't.

She also doesn't know that what she's picking up in the ground is natural energy, not chakra.

More on that later. Much later.

The title Hiruzen refers to Eiji with, "Master," is the kid version of "Mister," in case you didn't know.

Lastly, I am so sorry for the delay. My English professor assigned me an essay that resulted in multiple identity crises, so I was busy freaking out about the foundations of our culture and thinking myself into insanity and oblivion when I should have been doing work.

So yeah.

Sorry about that.

~Essence of Clotheslining


	15. Chapter 14: The Rookie Twelve

**A/N:** I know there haven't been many action scenes in this story yet, but bare with me. The ones that have happened in-universe haven't been worth writing down. You might see a character mention something that happened, or another character might think about it, but Team 9's encounters with bandits and the like have not been very eventful yet. Mayumi would run in screaming bloody murder and just throw punches and kicks and rocks at everything, and Eiji would engage whichever one he sees as the largest potential problem. Kazuko would hang back and stitch Mayumi up afterwards. Ryuji would only step in if he saw Eiji and Mayumi having significant problems dealing with the bandits/outlaws/thugs, and then the fight would be over. Team 9 hasn't actually fought any other shinobi yet, aside from each other in sparring matches, and even then.

None of them have even seen Ryuji really _fight_ yet. Sure, he's broken a few noses, knocked out some teeth, and he's even done some really cool jutsu for them, but he hasn't actually been in a proper scuffle with someone yet.

Speaking of Ryuji, and Kumogakure in general, I want to make something clear: Ryuji is not a ninja. He does not participate in the clandestine activities that most shinobi do. He is not a subtle individual and never will be.

Ryuji, like his brother (the Fourth Raikage), is a warrior, and unlike his brother, he is a trained samurai. Kumogakure is similarly predisposed to brash displays of power, and that's one of the reasons they flubbed kidnapping Eiji so hard: They weren't careful about it.

As such, he has not been training shinobi. He has been training fighters. Ryuji's Genin Training Curriculum (TM) has consisted primarily of combat, survival, and chakra-controlling/building exercises. He has not taught them how to avoid conflict, instead teaching them to assume that combat is inevitable in most, if not all, missions.

This will become apparent in the Chunin Exams, for both better and worse.

* * *

Chapter 14: The Rookie Twelve

Ino Yamanaka paced back and forth in the waiting room for the Chunin Exams, occasionally fiddling with her ponytail or fingering her earrings.

Ino Yamanaka was, obviously, anxious. She had seen neither hide nor hair of Eiji since he'd walked into the flower shop a week ago. All of her links in Konoha's social grapevine had been no help. None of them had ever seen someone matching Eiji's description, but one of them, a Hyuuga from the main house, knew his name. Unfortunately, she had never actually seen him before, leaving Ino with precisely jack _shit_ in the way of information. That said, she didn't know everyone in Konoha, so she was most certainly not receiving the whole picture.

Still, her almost complete lack of information on him was disconcerting.

Did he forget about her?

Was he playing hard-to-get?

She paled. A horrible thought lodged itself in the forefront of her mind.

Had _Sakura_ gotten to him first?

"You okay, Ino? You look sick." Choji asked her, swallowing a wad of potato chips.

She folded her arms, frowning in frustration. "No, I'm not okay! Forehead might have gotten to Eiji first!"

Choji stuffed a handful of chips into his mouth, chewing and swallowing them prodigiously quickly. "What do you care? I thought you and Sakura were chasing after Sasuke, not Eiji. Wait, who's Eiji again?"

She looked at him in disbelief. "Black hair? Black and white eyes? Pale skin? Gorgeous voice? Handsome face? Looks about thirteen?"

Choji shook his head, shrugging. "Nope. Never heard of him."

Shikamaru, who was laying down on a nearby bench, decided to weigh in. "I think he's on Team 9 with that giant guy from Kumo."

"Oh, so he's on Mayumi's team. Funny, never seen someone like that around her before." Choji pondered.

Ino raised an eyebrow. Mayumi was a girl's name. That meant potential competition. "Mayumi? Who's that?"

Choji grinned. "Oh, you'd really like her. She's loud and pushy too."

Ino's fist came crashing down on Choji's head.

Choji groaned and robbed his head, but still managed to keep a grip on his bag of chips. "Ow...she's a lot nicer to me, though..."

Ino looked over to Shikamaru, rubbing her hand. Choji had a really hard skull. "You said he was on Team 9. Have you met him before?"

Shikamaru exhaled loudly. "You know he was in our class with Iruka, right?"

Her eyes widened. "He was?"

Shikamaru nodded, sitting up. "Yeah. Skipped a few years. Third best overall scores in the class, and holds the record for the physical portion of the exam, I think."

"Really?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "Well, only in Iruka's class. Mayumi holds the record for the Academy as a whole. Ripped a tree clean out of the ground."

Ino's eyes widened. "You're kidding me."

Choji shook his head. "Nope. I saw it. She almost killed Ebisu with it. It was awesome."

Ino decided to reorient the conversation. "Shikamaru, I asked you about Team 9. What do you know about them? How do you know about them?"

Shikamaru groaned. "Come on, Ino..."

"Spill it, pineapples." She growled, using an insult that meant that, on at least one highly memorable occasion, withholding information from her would result in immense pain for Shikamaru.

Shikamaru held up his hands defensively, sensing the danger. "Alright, alright, cool it. Eiji and I meet up and play shogi sometimes. We started a while back, maybe three months. We talk about things then. He complains about Mayumi a lot."

She nodded slowly. Okay, so Eiji was smart. Really smart. And he'd open up for Shikamaru. And he didn't like Mayumi. That was valuable info, and it was relieving to know that Mayumi was not potential competition. "What does he say about her?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "That she's improving, but that she's holding the team back."

She was mildly disappointed that he didn't complain about Mayumi being ugly. "What about the other one?"

Shikamaru, like Sasuke and Eiji, shrugged a great deal. "Her name's Kazuko Hoki."

That piqued Ino's curiosity. "Your doctor's name is Sayuri Hoki, isn't it. Are they related?"

Shikamaru looked out a nearby window. "Sayuri is Kazuko's mom, I think. Or her aunt. I don't remember. Probably her mom. Both are extremely skilled medical ninjutsu specialists. Kazuko actually came in once in place of her mom, said she was filling in for her because Sayuri was sick. Cleared up my sinus infection like _that_." He finished, snapping his fingers.

Ino looked at Shikamaru skeptically. "Isn't Sayuri a Specialized Jounin?"

He nodded. "Last I checked."

"Oh."

A beat.

Realization dawned on Choji's face. "Oh, _now_ I know who you're talking about! I've met his mom a few times."

Shikamaru exhaled loudly. "Yeah, lucky bastard gets to see _that_ every day."

Choji chuckled. "Heh heh, ew."

Ino frowned, raising an eyebrow in confused interest. It was very unlike either of them to express interest in girls, let alone speak in this manner about them. "Who's Eiji's mom?"

"You've met her. We all have. Sasuke and Naruto live with her too. Himawari Hyuuga." Shikamaru explained.

Ino's eyes widened. She had seen Himawari on a few occasions (she was frequently substituted for a member of the Ino-Shika-Cho squad when one of them was unavailable), even as recently as last week, but Ino had no idea that Himawari had a child. Himawari was only twenty-six and was in absolutely perfect shape; she didn't look like a mother at all. Not only that, but she had managed to raise Eiji, Sasuke, and _Naruto_ of all people,all while performing A-Rank missions on a regular basis. In fact, she was performing one _right now_ with her and Shikamaru's respective fathers. Ino's mother was Ino's standard of beauty, no question about that, but Himawari was what Ino wanted to grow up to be: An extremely powerful kunoichi that raised children and functioned as the head of her household, looking perfect all the while.

Those were Eiji's standards of womanhood.

That was what he expected a woman to be.

That was what she had to measure up to.

So, to recap, the three women Eiji spent the majority of his life with were a girl that had super strength that had almost killed a Jounin, a girl that could already qualify as a Specialized Jounin for her mastery of medical ninjutsu, and a master of the Gentle Fist that was also the most physically attractive woman in the village.

Ino felt dizzy.

Shikamaru chuckled. "Hey Ino? You okay? You look a little...green."

Fortunately for Shikamaru, the door opened, redirecting Ino's attention.

A boy in a black, baggy hoodie walked in, followed by a girl with messy, spiky white hair and tanned skin. Behind her was a small, silver-haired girl with glasses in a skirt and sweatshirt. The boy held the door open for the two girls before he let it shut.

"Oh hey, there they are." Choji observed, finishing off a bag of potato chips and removing another from seemingly nowhere.

She leaned in close to Shikamaru, not taking her eyes off the three Genin that just walked in. "Which one is Mayumi and which is Kazuko?"

Shikamaru laid back down. "The one with the silver hair is Kazuko, which means that the one with the white hair is Mayumi."

Ino decided to hang back and watch the interpersonal dynamics of Team 9 as they found a place to wait. Eiji leaned up against a wall and removed a book from an inside pocket of his hoodie. Mayumi and Kazuko stood to the right of the door and began conversing about something that Ino didn't care about at present.

She began evaluating the two girls.

Mayumi was in good physical condition, but she was shaped like a boy and her hair and clothes didn't help stifle the resemblance. Her face was girlish enough, but that was rather hard to see through the mess of white hair.

Kazuko was more feminine than Mayumi by a huge margin. She was small and petite, wearing a grey sweatshirt and dark blue skirt, and her hair fell past her shoulders down to just past her collarbone. Not particularly practical for a kunoichi, but certainly cute. She would occasionally push up or readjust a pair of seemingly oversized glasses, indicating a vision problem. Ino found it peculiar that she was wearing a noticeable amount of makeup for someone that looked twelve or thirteen. Perhaps it was a feature of their family. If Eiji was one of those "girls need to be protected" types, then Kazuko would hold an undeniable appeal to him. However, given that he was raised exclusively by a woman, and a very strong one at that, she guessed he had been brought up to see no functional difference between the sexes.

Eiji was silent, and Kazuko looked somewhat nervous. Mayumi flicked the side of Eiji's head, a mischievous look on her face.

She did it again.

She did it again.

She did it again.

She did it again.

She did it again.

She did it again.

Eiji did not react.

Eventually, Mayumi got bored and turned back to Kazuko, resuming their conversation. Kazuko would occasionally shift her eyes over to Eiji, who had removed a book from an inside pocket of his hoodie. It looked like a book of Gentle Fist forms and stances, and given that it was written by a Hyuuga, that's probably what it was.

Ino's eyes narrowed. So Eiji was patient. And Kazuko had a thing for Eiji that was a lot like Hinata's thing for Naruto. Loud and clear to most everyone _except_ the target of the girl's affections. Eiji wasn't stupid like Naruto, so why hadn't he noticed yet?

Speak of the devil (in this case, a little blonde devil), Team 7 walked in the door.

Ino's constitution for pursuing Eiji immediately wavered upon seeing Sasuke.

Eiji looked over to the door and smiled, putting his book away and walking over to Team 7.

Sasuke smiled slightly and offered his hand to Eiji.

Eiji clasped it and the two performed one of those masculine hugs that, in her opinion, barely qualified as a hug. "How was lunch?" Eiji asked.

Until he had spoken, she was legitimately doubting it was him, but his voice was unmistakable, if a great deal more quiet and subdued.

Sasuke shrugged. "It was alright. Really salty. Typical Ichiraku fare. I'm surprised Naruto isn't chronically dehydrated from all the sodium."

Naruto grinned. Ino frowned. She knew that look. He was planning something.

As Sasuke and Eiji continued their conversation, Naruto walked nonchalantly to Eiji's left side and, in one swift motion, yanked down his hood and yanked off his forehead protector.

Ino's resolve was reaffirmed. When examined side-by-side, Ino thought Eiji was the better-looking of the two, though she could absolutely understand the opposite point of view. Eiji's face was softer; kinder. His lips were the slightest bit fuller, his eyes the slightest bit larger, his skin the slightest bit lighter. Less edgy and sharp, more…

...she supposed "regal" was the right word.

Naruto cackled victoriously.

Mayumi laughed, offering Naruto her hand for a high five. It was reciprocated with enthusiasm, producing a loud clapping sound.

A vein appeared in Sakura's forehead. She clenched her fists, growling.

Sasuke groaned, rubbing his forehead. "Why." He questioned flatly.

Ino saw an opportunity.

Nothing boosted a boy's ego more than a beautiful girl falling all over herself for him, and more importantly, this would really stick it to the rest of the girls in this room that had taken an interest in him, including an older redheaded girl sitting near the front of the room.

She stormed over to Naruto and ripped Eiji's forehead protector from Naruto's hand, glaring at him for a brief moment before turning to Eiji and smiling.

She grinned demurely. "Let me tie this back on for you, Eiji."

He turned pink. "Uh..."

She was about to place the forehead protector over his eye when she noticed a small black rhombus on his forehead. His hair had been covering it up last week, and Naruto's ripping the thing off had pulled his hair back enough to expose it.

"What's that on your forehead?"

He sighed, looking down at his feet ashamedly. "My, uh, my chakra pathway system doesn't work right. This seal regulates my chakra for me."

"Oh." She felt terrible, like she had just made fun of someone for some kind of physical deformity.

She had another idea. "You know, I think it looks cute." She tapped the seal on his forehead.

He turned pinker.

She walked behind him and tied his forehead protector back on, exactly where it had been.

He smiled shakily. "T-thanks."

She smiled and giggled coquettishly, latching onto his arm. She had him wrapped around her finger.

* * *

Sasuke smirked. Eiji looked extremely conflicted about what his course of action should be, trying to both remove Ino and leave her be, which resulted in his occasionally touching her arm or shifting in place awkwardly. Naturally, this only egged her on further.

His plan had obviously worked, at least on Ino. Sakura seemed unexpectedly unaffected by the whole thing, only really seeing it as an opportunity to smack Naruto around. Kazuko, however, didn't appear to be taking it well. She looked very worried. Strangely enough, even Mayumi looked rather miffed as well, though it was more likely that she was just mad at Sakura for punching out Naruto. That was another reason Sasuke hated Mayumi's guts: she made no sense. She was insane.

He frowned dryly and helped Naruto up. "Come on, idiot. Get up."

"Ugh, what'th Ino doing with Eithi?" Naruto asked through his broken nose.

Ino appeared to ignore the question and poor Eiji was too confused to respond. Fortunately, Shikamaru, followed by Choji, approached Teams 7 and 9. "Oh, just looks like she's interested in a new dude now. Poor guy. Man, girls are such a drag."

Naruto readjusted his nose slightly, wincing in pain. "Oh. Doeth thith look right, Thathuke?"

Sasuke examined Naruto's face. It did not look right. His nose was off a few centimeters to the right. "Hmm..."

Sasuke grabbed Naruto's nose. "On three?"

Naruto gave him a thumbs-up.

Sasuke counted down. "One, two, three." He finished, swiftly snapping Naruto's nose back into place.

Naruto flinched and tears welled up in his eyes, but otherwise, he didn't react. Sasuke had needed to do that dozens of times in their time as Team 7, and it was something of a routine they had. Naruto's strategy in a fight was to run in screaming with Shadow Clones and flail around until everything was incapacitated. It worked surprisingly well, but he tended to take a lot of hits in the process. A broken arm there, a dislocated shoulder here, and a broken nose any time he pissed off Sakura badly enough. Sasuke would set the disjointed appendage back into place and Naruto's natural healing factor would do the rest.

Sasuke patted Naruto's arm. "There. Try not to get decked by a girl again any time soon."

"Thanks, jerk." Naruto mumbled, rubbing his nose.

Sakura looked over at Ino and Eiji, rubbing her fist. "What's going on with those two?"

Sasuke turned his head and glanced in their direction. Ino was really going for it, so to speak. She was leaning on him, giggling at him, trying to touch him as often as she could. Eiji looked very uncomfortable, but Sasuke knew Eiji well enough to know that he really did enjoy interpersonal contact just as much as the average guy, perhaps even more so, but he needed something of an adjustment period for every new person. This was something of a recent development, as prior to the incident in the Third Training Grounds, he'd had no issues with human contact whatsoever, nor had he any problems with large crowds, nor had he worn exclusively black. Eiji had clearly been damaged by the experience. A girlfriend would do him some good.

"She's got a new crush and both of us have one less problem to deal with." He observed, looking over at Sakura.

Sakura turned pink and looked away, a small smile on her face.

Sasuke did not look away.

Sakura looked back at him, turning even pinker.

They locked eyes, Sakura turning bright red.

Sasuke used to think that Sakura's obsession with him was generally childish, and in some ways, he still believed it was, but this little experiment with Ino told him multiple things about Sakura, most notably that her attraction to him wasn't like Naruto's attraction to Sakura, meaning that it didn't exist exclusively as a result of her friend/rival having a crush on him as well. That meant something to him. He would continue similar experiments that would test her resolve.

If she wanted to be his partner, she'd have to prove that she could deal with him at his worst. Sasuke was doing better since the Uchiha Massacre, but in his opinion, he wasn't even close to being normal again. Sasuke had needed years of therapy just to even come close to being normal again, and there were still times, even eight years later, that he would have nightmares of that night, of the blood and gore of his kin saturating the streets, and the jibbering mess Himawari had been for a week following the whole thing. There were times where he would pull a kunai on Eiji because, in the right light, he could look just like Itachi. Unfortunately, this was happening more often now that he was developing the same highly-pronounced lines on his face (roughly once every few months). "Damaged goods" didn't even come close to describing him. For the longest time, all he had thought about was revenge. Kill Itachi, kill Itachi, kill Itachi.

That was it.

That was what he lived for.

Then, after a few years of living a relatively normal life of going to the Academy every morning, kicking Naruto's ass in sparring sessions, and returning home to a loving, doting maternal/older sister figure and a friendly, companionable, impressionable little-brother figure, he had become stable, even mildly well-adjusted.

Then, Naruto had been brought into the household after Sasuke made an offhand comment to Himawari about Naruto switching foster homes every few weeks. That had been hell on earth for a while, but he had since adjusted to Naruto's aggressively annoying personality. He hadn't even been that upset when the both of them had been assigned to Kakashi.

Sasuke had become a relatively emotionally resilient and psychologically stable individual, but his traumatic experiences early on in life had left him a jackass.

A _major_ jackass.

Sakura, so far, had been able to put up with all that. If anything, she seemed to want to help. Sasuke was wary, but he was possibly maybe considering the idea of letting her do so.

One possible reason for this was because Sakura just so happened to line up with a lot of what he found appealing in a girl, and because Himawari was his primary female role model, he tended to compare most girls to her.

Fortunately and unsurprisingly, Naruto didn't notice the subtle moment that the two of them had, instead deciding to look at a group of approaching Genin: Kiba Inuzuka, Shino Aburame, and Hinata Hyuuga. Sasuke looked over at the arriving Genin as well.

Eiji took advantage of his aunt's arrival to break away from Ino and wrap Hinata in a large hug. Sasuke interacted with Hinata very little. They were on good terms, but any small talk they made was stilted, awkward, and focused almost exclusively on the only thing that bound them together and the only thing that would result in the two of them interacting at all: their nephew.

Hinata turned red from the obvious display of affection, but still reciprocated the gesture, settling her chin over his shoulder. Eiji didn't look like it, and he really didn't act like it, but once he got comfortable around another person, he was very touchy-feely. Hugs from him were very common, and he had surprisingly few issues with casual physical contact with other boys, even if the only other guy on a "physical-contact basis" was Naruto, who was similarly touchy-feely, if not more so. The difference was Eiji was only like that (now, at least) after a very long time of cohabitation and acclimatization, and he did it on your terms, as evidenced by his performing one of the more masculine hugs with Sasuke earlier.

Naruto had _actually_ no sense of personal space. Back in the first few weeks of Naruto and Sasuke living under the same roof, many a fistfight had been started when Naruto had snuck up on a sleepy, irritable, or otherwise preoccupied Sasuke and invaded his personal space with no warning.

Speaking of Naruto, Kiba was the Naruto of Team 8, except that he was far more skilled and a tad bit smarter than Naruto. That was enough to make Sasuke stay as far away from him as possible.

Sasuke shivered involuntarily. The idea of a Naruto that could actually keep up with him was horrifying. Kiba was nowhere near Sasuke's level, but if Sasuke shirked his training and Kiba picked up the slack, he'd get there.

Kiba didn't like Sasuke much either, and they generally avoided each other when possible. Kiba didn't really seem to like Eiji much either, but he at least tolerated him because of his being Hinata's nephew and a very close friend of hers.

Shino...Shino was a mystery. Sasuke knew next to nothing about him aside from his name, and he knew even less about the Aburame Clan. All he knew about them was that Himawari had used the words "unnatural," "disgusting," and "freakish" to describe them, and had on multiple occasions explicitly ordered Sasuke, Naruto, and Eiji to avoid their district.

Himawari was not a squeamish woman. She killed people for a living, primarily enemies of allied villages, and had racked up a body count nearing triple digits in her fourteen years as a kunoichi (though she had made her first kill at eleven during the war). If one examined the names of her targets in whatever Bingo Book they came from, one would find that most of them were A-Rank Rogue Ninja that were exiled from their village not for treason or grand larceny, but for crimes against humanity. She had personally hunted down and destroyed some of the most detestable, despicable human beings in the shinobi world. So when she said something was gross, and she was visibly disgusted by even the thought of that something, that meant it had to have been _extremely_ vile.

Sasuke did not enjoy gross things, and he wished to avoid a lecture (of which Himawari usually had difficulty keeping under sixty minutes), so he had taken her warnings with great heed and stayed a mile away from their district.

Still, Shino had given Sasuke no reason to dislike him yet, so Sasuke treated Shino with caution, but not hostility. Well, no more hostility than everyone else. A healthy dose of sarcasm and smarm kept his wits razor sharp and precise as one of Kakashi's kunai.

"Hello Eiji. We haven't seen you around the Hyuuga Estate in a while. How have you been?" Hinata asked Eiji after they released each other.

He shrugged, obviously becoming exponentially more comfortable now that he had multiple close friends and relatives in the room with him. "I'm okay. How have your lessons with my mom been?"

Sasuke just noticed that Eiji consistently referred to Himawari as _his_ mom. That was interesting. He filed that information away for later.

Hinata looked away.

Eiji pressed his lips together in concern. "I'm sure it wasn't _that_ bad."

Hinata sighed sadly. "I'm nowhere close to her."

Sasuke was sure it was as bad as it sounded, whatever it was. Hinata was a nice girl, a sweet girl, but he firmly believed that she would amount to nothing in terms of being a Kunoichi. She'd probably get married off to some other member of one of the other high-class families in Konoha, perhaps to a high-class family from another village as a diplomatic tool, raise some kids, and live the life of an ordinary housewife. Drab and boring, but safe. Hanabi would be the matriarch of the Hyuuga Clan, Himawari having been dropped as the future clan matriarch after she and Itachi came forward to Hiashi and explained that he was going to be a grandfather. He remembered Himawari explaining that he hadn't wanted to do it, but the Hyuuga Clan elders didn't want a child that was half-Uchiha being a potential candidate for the head of the clan. That made sense. He wouldn't want someone that was a member of another noble clan leading the Uchiha either.

Sasuke noticed Hinata look over at Naruto, who was speaking with Mayumi about nothing in particular.

"Oh, hello, Naruto." She greeted quietly.

Naruto turned around, a confused look on his face. "Huh?"

She squeaked and went red in the face, averting her eyes with a ghost of a smile.

Huh.

Sasuke was about as emotionally perceptive as a brick wall, but even he could see that she had a thing for Naruto (which said a lot about Naruto). As for why, he doubted even Himawari, Hinata's older sister and Naruto's legal guardian for many years, could say. Sasuke considered Naruto to be the second-least attractive human being in the world, surpassed only by Mayumi. There was no accounting for taste, he supposed.

Sasuke looked over in Mayumi's direction. She stuck out her tongue and aimed her middle finger at him.

"Bitch..." He grumbled almost inaudibly, turning his head back towards his nephew. Instead, he found himself staring at Kiba.

"Well well, looks like the gang's back together again." He said with a grin, flashing his fangs.

Shikamaru shoved his hands in his pockets. "You guys are here too, huh? Looks like everyone's here for this stupid thing." Shikamaru sounded downright rueful.

Kiba laughed. "Hah! Yeah, this is gonna be fun, at least for those of us who can make the cut, right Sasuke?" Akamaru, sitting on Kiba's head yipped in affirmation.

Sasuke frowned, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head downward ever so slightly. "You say 'us' as if you legitimately believe you can match me in skill. You can't. Besides, I'm not the only one here that you should watch out for."

Kiba bared his abnormally long canines. "We're gonna blow you away! We've been training like crazy."

Naruto pointed at Kiba, puffing out his chest. "Whaddya think we've been doin', sitting around pickin' daisies?! You don't know what training means!"

Mayumi curled her hand into a fist. "You're gonna be barfin' up gravel by the time I'm done with you, chump." She growled threateningly.

"Don't mind Kiba, I'm sure he didn't really mean anything by it..." Hinata apologized meekly.

"Huh?" Naruto repeated.

Hinata squeaked again and averted her eyes.

Sasuke noticed a bug crawling along the floor. He traced its movements up to Shino's shoe and _up his pant leg._

Sasuke shivered again.

So the Aburame had a thing with bugs.

Sasuke didn't like bugs.

Fire killed bugs.

He knew the Fireball Jutsu.

He'd be _fine_.

Probably.

It said a lot about Sasuke's psyche and the framework of his thought processes that when he saw something repulsive, the first thing he thought of was how best to kill it and keep it away from him. Now that he thought about it, it did explain some of his behavior towards Naruto.

"You guys might want to keep it down a bit." A voice suggested from the corner of the room.

The voice continued. "Not trying to be rude or anything, but you're attracting quite a bit of attention."

A man approached them. He looked a great deal older than they did, perhaps somewhere around eighteen, maybe nineteen. Twenty, max. He had silver hair, glasses and-wait a minute...

Sasuke looked over to Kazuko.

He looked back at the man.

They looked very similar. Same coloring, and same poor eyesight, similar facial structure. Their names were nearly identical. Perhaps they were related?

"I would strongly suggest against making a spectacle of yourselves." He advised.

Ino, who had returned to Eiji's arm, huffed indignantly. "Well who asked you, anyway? Who are you?"

"Kabuto Yakushi. But seriously, look around you." He motioned to the rest of the room, his right.

Sasuke looked around at dozens of leering eyes. None of them intimidated him, but he could only imagine what Eiji was going through right now.

He looked over at Eiji. The poor kid looked like he was trying to hide inside his own clothes. Normally, if faced with a crowd of people, Eiji would find a wall, back himself up against it and turn his head to the left, so he could see the entirety of the room with his Byakugan. But he had a girl on his arm now, and etiquette and (in this case) practicality dictated that men couldn't overtly show weakness.

Sasuke noticed a group of men from Amegakure that were staring daggers at Eiji, sizing him up. Eiji didn't appear to notice, or at least wasn't reacting to them.

Kabuto shrugged, shaking his head. "I mean, it's not really your fault. You don't know how these things work. You're just rookies. Kids. Remind me of myself a few years ago."

Sasuke guessed that Kabuto probably didn't know that Eiji had a body count that was higher than a lot of Chunin's.

Sakura stepped forward. "Kabuto, was it?"

"Yeah?"

"Doesn't sound like this is your first time."

Mayumi clapped sarcastically. "Great job stating the obvious, Pinkie."

Sakura growled irritably and turned around, curling her hands into fists.

"You wanna say that again?!"

Kabuto stepped forward and held up his hands, apparently recognizing that Mayumi was very good at riling people up. "Whoa whoa whoa, uh, yeah, it's, uh, actually my..."

Sasuke guessed it was his third attempt.

"...seventh."

Mayumi folded her arms. "Then why the hell should we be taking advice from you if you've failed six times?"

Sasuke groaned, rolling his eyes. "He's got experience. He knows what to expect, unlike _you_ , Mayumi."

She growled, cracking her knuckles. "Watch it, Hot Sauce."

Mayumi had infuriating nicknames for most everyone.

Eiji was "Girly/Girlie."

Sakura had been dubbed "Pinkie." Once she had been called the "Pink Banshee." Even Sasuke had laughed at that one.

Kazuko was shortened to "Kazzy," or sometimes just "Kaz."

Choji was "Akimunchies."

Shikamaru was "Pineapples," a nickname Mayumi claimed had been coined by Ino.

…

…

…

…Sasuke had been saddled with "Hot Sauce." He would forever regret performing the fireball jutsu in front of her a few years ago, but he had to admit that she was creative, if nothing else.

Team Guy, Team 8, and Naruto had not yet received any yet, but Sasuke was more than certain that their time would run out.

Kabuto rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Heh, well, seventh time's the charm, right?"

Sasuke noted that Kabuto was extremely good at gauging the temperature of a room and acting accordingly. Kabuto was not all he seemed.

Shikamaru groaned ruefully. "So I guess all those rumors about the exams being difficult are true, huh? Ugh, this is gonna be such a drag."

Kabuto began rummaging through a pouch on his hip. "Hold on, I think I can help you kids out..."

Sasuke looked on with interest. What was it going to be? Special tools? Jutsu scrolls?

He produced a deck of cards from his pouch. He spread them like a fan in front of his mouth "...with my Ninja Info Cards."

Sasuke's hopes plummeted.

"Are you fucking serious." Mayumi asked flatly, voicing Sasuke's thoughts down to the letter.

Sakura raised an eyebrow, expression a mixture of skepticism and curiosity. "What the heck are those?"

"These cards have been chakra-encoded with everything I've learned over the past four years." Kabuto explained, removing the rest of the cards from the pouch.

Kabuto set the deck of cards down on the ground. " I've got over two-hundred of them. They look blank to everyone but the person who encodes them. Only my chakra can decode them and reveal their secrets."

This guy was far too melodramatic for Sasuke's taste, but these still seemed valuable.

Kabuto looked around. "Anyone have a request? A name, basic physical appearance, village of origin, something like that."

Sasuke stepped forward. "Rock Lee of Konohagakure and Gaara of the Sand, from Sunagakure."

Kabuto looked mildly disappointed. "Well that's easy enough."

He flicked through the cards and produced one, placing his finger on it and revealing it to be Rock Lee's.

Kabuto pushed up his glasses. "Clear Taijutsu specialist. No ninjutsu or genjutsu skills to speak of, and it looks like he's completed twenty D-Ranks and eleven C-Ranks."

Well, that was all Sasuke needed to know. He could trap Lee in a Genjutsu until the proctor called the match or roast him with the Fireball Jutsu until the burns were so bad he couldn't move. He had no way to defend against either of those, assuming the fireball was big enough or the genjutsu wasn't based on physical contact.

Kabuto continued. "Guy's his squad leader. His teammates are Tenten and Neji Hyuuga."

Naruto cocked his head to the side, a habit he'd picked up from Himawari. "Huh? Hyuuga?"

"And Gaara? What do you have on him?" Sasuke asked.

Kabuto raised an eyebrow. "Does he have a last name?"

Sasuke shook his head. "'Of the Desert' was all he said."

Kabuto shuffled the cards around again and produced Gaara's card. "I can't say I've got that much on him, only the missions he's completed, and even that's incomplete."

Sasuke's eyes focused in on one particular detail. "Does that say he completed a B-Rank?"

Kabuto nodded. "It does"

Kabuto pushed up his glasses again. "Records say that he's gotten through every mission without getting hurt."

Shikamaru's eyes widened. "He completed a B-Rank as a Genin without so much as a scratch? Oh man, why'd we have to choose _this_ year to register?" He whined.

Kabuto reshuffled his cards. "Looks like all the villages sent exceptionally strong candidates this year."

Sasuke grimaced. Lee was no threat. Gaara was the real problem. The ease with which he had snuck up on Sasuke and the nonchalance with which he had threatened to kill his teammate in cold blood was more than enough to raise a few flags.

More than any of that, though, was that Sasuke actually found himself believing Gaara would have done it. It wasn't like the nigh-incalculable times he'd said he would kill Naruto (and vice-versa). That was a legitimate threat that Sasuke, somehow, knew he would have no issue following through with if he chose to do so.

Ino of all people stepped forward. "What do you have on Eiji Hyuuga?"

Kabuto looked up at her. "Who's that?"

Ino pointed to Eiji with a smile. "This guy."

Eiji shifted awkwardly.

Kabuto found Eiji's card even faster than the previous two, placing it face-up on the ground. "Let's see, twelve D-Ranks, six C-Ranks. He's a member of Team 9, and Ryuji Inazuma is his teacher. Kazuko Hoki and Mayumi, no last name, are his teammates."

"...Is that it?" Ino looked disappointed.

Kabuto pushed up his glasses again. "I'm afraid so."

Ino looked at Eiji skeptically.

Kabuto reshuffled his cards again. "Looks like all the villages sent exceptionally strong candidates this year. Especially those three from Otogakure. Wouldn't want to get on their bad side."

Sasuke glanced over at the three Genin with forehead protectors etched with a small musical note. They glared at him. He glared back before looking away.

"What's Otogakure?" Eiji asked quietly.

"A village to the east of Kusagakure. Popped up pretty recently, maybe six years back."

Eiji looked down at his feet, raising his right knuckles to his mouth and folding his left arm just below his ribcage. "Must be pretty small if it's that new."

Kabuto nodded. "It is, but those three are pretty tough."

Kabuto put the cards away and stood up straight. "Anyways, you get the point. Competition's gonna be _intense_ this year."

Hinata looked at her feet. "So it would seem."

Mayumi grinned. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

Sakura looked worried. "You really think it's going to be tougher this time?"

Kabuto nodded, eyes skimming over the crowd of Genin. "Oh yeah. In my fours years of experience in the Exams, I've never seen a crop of candidates with as much potential or power as this."

Naruto grimaced, face scrunching up. "Hmm..." He clenched up his fists so tightly they began to shake. Sasuke desperately hoped he wouldn't scream something stupid.

Sakura walked up to him and put her hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry, Naruto, we'll be fine."

For both better and worse, Sasuke knew that a Narutoism was inbound fast.

Naruto roared and pointed dramatically at the crowd of Genin before them. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm gonna beat every last one of ya! Believe it!"

Ino let go of Eiji's arm, directing her attentions at Sakura. She pointed at Naruto. "Hey, what's that little idiot trying to do, get us killed?!"

Sakura sighed in obvious frustration.

"Tell your boyfriend to keep his big fat trap shut!" Ino screeched in Sakura's face.

Sakura's eyebrow twitched and she adopted a similarly pissed off expression. "Who's boyfriend?!"

"Oh, I forgot, YOU CAN'T GET ONE!" Ino screamed back.

Sakura raised her fist. "WHAT'D YOU SAY?!"

Naruto, oblivious as ever, folded his arms behind his head triumphantly. "Oh man, I feel pumped!"

Sasuke smirked. He could appreciate Naruto's enthusiasm. Even Eiji seemed somewhat uplifted by his proclamation. It could have been that the attention was no longer focused on him, though.

The rest of the Genin, however, were unimpressed. Sasuke idly noticed a redheaded Genin from Kusagakure in his periphery that could not take her eyes off him.

Kiba giggled immaturely. "Hey, heh, hey Naruto, I don't think I heard you. Could you maybe say that a little louder?"

Mayumi snorted. "Yeah, had something in my ear. Maybe you could sing it for us."

Naruto laughed. "Ha ha ha-GACK"

"Naruto, you jackass!" Sakura growled, wrapping her arm around his neck and apparently trying to knock him out. Sasuke knew from sparring exercises that, for some reason, Naruto was nearly impossible to knock out with submissions, so Naruto would remain painfully conscious while she squeezed his throat shut with one elbow and bashed the back of his head with the other. He thought Naruto was an idiot, but he didn't deserve this kind of abuse with the frequency Sakura doled it out. It was also drawing even more attention from the other Genin, which only created problems.

She growled. "Why would you go and say something like that? Obnoxious little-"

Sasuke placed his hand on her shoulder. "Sakura, let him go."

"But-" She protested.

"Take a look around you." He reminded her.

Her grip loosened and Naruto could suddenly breathe again. She held him up with one arm and waved apologetically with the other. "Oh hi everyone, don't mind him, he says these spazzy things; doesn't really mean them…"

Sasuke stopped listening to her half-assed apology and noticed Eiji stiffen. He pulled back his forehead protector and curled back all his fingers but the index and middle.

A Gentle Fist stance.

He activated his Sharingan.

Uh oh. Something bad was about to happen.

Sasuke was just glad it wasn't going to be directed at him.

Sasuke heard and saw blurs flying through the crowd of Genin. They quickly focused towards Eiji. Slowing down, they revealed themselves to be the three Genin from Otogakure. One with spiky hair leapt up in the air from a bench and tossed two kunai at Eiji's left. Another, the one with the strange, porous forearm guard, fur cloak, and heavily-bandaged face, stopped directly in front of him and wound up a punch. The third, the only female, slid across the ground like a panther and tossed a small cloud of senbon, throwing needles, at Eiji's right.

"Eiji, watch out!" Kazuko shouted.

Eiji moved.

He looped his right index and middle fingers through the hoops on the ends of each kunai, twirling one around and gripping it tightly in his right hand and tossing the other into his left. He whipped the one in his left hand at the Sound Genin in the air, striking him straight in the center of his forehead protector hard enough to knock him off-course. At the same time, he used his Byakugan's extended field of view to deflect as many senbon as he could. Suddenly, the heavily-bandaged Genin was in front of him. He aimed a punch at Eiji, who countered by jamming his remaining kunai into the Genin's porous gauntlet, cracking it. The Genin closed his fist tightly, and his eye widened in apparent surprise. He looked down at his gauntlet, and Eiji used the momentary distraction to palm him in the nose, jab him in the throat (sealing one of the tenketsu in his esophagus), and slug him in the eye. The Genin staggered backwards with a black eye, closed throat, and broken nose, choking and sputtering blood, soaking hte bandages that covered his face in blood. The Genin that had been knocked off-course a second ago suddenly crashed into the Genin with the gauntlet, crushing him and knocking both to the floor in a heap. Eiji turned to the female Genin, eyes wild. He flicked through a few hand seals and inhaled deeply. He exhaled a focused stream of fire straight at the last Genin. The female Genin leapt out of the way and scrambled for more senbon. Before she cloud remove any from the pouch on her side, Eiji had a kunai at her throat. Sasuke guessed that he had produced it from his belt.

Sakura blinked in rapid succession. "Wha-what?"

Mayumi laughed. "Hey, girlie, weren't _you_ the one that told us to not to do anything flashy?"

Eiji was breathing very heavily through tightly clenched teeth. His eyes were simultaneously wild and panicked, but also distant and unfocused. Tears dripped down his cheeks.

He slowly loosened up. His hands were shaking. Blood dripped out of his right sleeve. He hadn't blocked all the needles. He backed up, releasing the female Genin from his grip. The kunai clattered to the floor.

Kazuko cautiously approached Eiji, tugging on his left sleeve. "Eiji, are you-"

Eiji quickly turned away and fell to his knees and was sick on the floor. Kazuko quickly helped him by pulling his hair back and removing a rag from her pocket. She wiped his face with it, removing sweat, tears and stray vomit. She removed the remaining needles from his arm and waved a glowing green hand over it, closing the wounds and stopping the bleeding. Ino followed suite, clasping his hand and reassuring him that he was fine. Mayumi looked strangely conflicted, face a mixture of anger and worry.

Ever since that one evening they had been attacked, ambushes were no longer a viable strategy against him. His ears picked up things even Sasuke missed, and his Byakugan let him see almost 270 degrees around him. Ambushes just didn't work. He was simply too aware of his surroundings. Sure, it led to interpersonal problems like difficulty speaking with and trusting other people, but the combat advantage was obvious and, in Sasuke's opinion, very worth it. Many Jounin were similarly adept at situational awareness, but that had come with years of training or one (or more) bad traumatic experience(s). Eiji had that one bad experience already, and he was stronger for it. Unfortunately, such a terrible experience so early on in life tended to screw up a person pretty badly. Jounin had had years to cope and years to develop coping mechanisms to aid in the process, often with the help of a therapist, which under the Third Hokage, was mandatory for Jounin. Eiji was a Genin of ten years old that had refused therapy after the incident. According to a biometric device his mother had acquired for him that he had wrong on his wrist for a week, his resting heart rate was regularly above ninety-five beats-per-minute. He would react to any and every noise he heard under the assumption that it could be danger. He was not doing well and now the entirety of Konoha knew that one of their strongest Genin was unstable and prone to explode if he thought he was being attacked.

The only Sound Genin that was still standing looked around in confusion before hesitantly making her way over to her incapacitated teammates. Eiji had taken them down rather quickly, but they didn't appear to be too badly hurt. The Genin with the fur cloak had already regained his ability to breathe, and the Genin that Eiji had knocked out of the air sat up and rubbed his head. Aside from a small bumb on his head, he was unharmed.

Shikamaru looked at the scene in complete confusion, as did most everyone else. "What the hell just happened?"

Before Sasuke could respond with some kind of snide remark, smoke flooded the front of the room. When it receded, a giant man stood with smaller ninja to his left and right, likely his flunkies. His face was heavily scarred and he wore a massive black trench coat. All of them stood in front of a large chalkboard.

The large man grinned. "Alright, you baby-faced degenerates, pipe down and listen up! It's time to begin. I'm Ibiki Morino, your proctor, and from this moment on, your worst enemy." He finished melodramatically.

Sasuke groaned in exasperation. Everyone here seemed to be trying to one-up each other for "Most Theatrical Entrance." First, Kabuto had flashed his dumb, if extremely useful, cards incredibly theatrically, then the three Sound Genin had staged a seemingly uninstigated three-pronged assault against someone who's skills they had vastly underestimated and gotten their asses handed to them. Then a giant guy just _appeared_ in the front of the room and declared himself to be their worst enemy. What was next? Would the next person introduce themselves, then rip their face off and introduce themselves again?

He doubted it. That was just too much.

Right?

* * *

Out in Konoha proper, a man with an Otogakure headband sitting on a bench and reading the local newspaper sneezed.

He wiped his nose, hoping that both his potential targets were unaffected by hay fever and seasonal allergies, or that that little Hoki girl would be able to fix Kimimaro. He flipped the page and found his way to his favorite part of the paper: the obituaries.

 _Old age, natural causes, boring, mundane, average, blah blah blah.._

 _...murdered by poisoned toothpick._

He laughed, inadvertently giving every small animal within a half-mile intestinal distress.

At least his activities were making the headlines.

* * *

 **A/N:** Lots of people think Eiji's got social anxiety or some other kind of ambiguous interpersonal anxiety disorder.

He doesn't. As you may remember, Eiji didn't really have any trouble talking to people before that incident in the Third Training Ground.

Eiji has PTSD, with the primary symptom being hypervigilance. It's a state of perpetually-increased awareness that can leave the sufferer exhausted and anxious all the time. People that suffer from hypervigilance are always scanning the environment for potential danger, and their interpersonal bonds suffer as a result, because they don't trust any new person in the slightest. Crowds freak him out because he suddenly has to keep track of a lot more people now, and loud, sudden noises can screw with him too. When he sleeps, queue the flashbacks.

In sum, not fun.

Lastly, I really like the idea that Orochimaru's the only guy who still reads newspapers. When we finally get the the next generation, and everyone has smartphones, Orochimaru is still going to be reading the newspaper and using messenger birds.


	16. Chapter 15: The Written Exam

**A/N:** An now we will take a detour to Ryuji, at least at the start. He's got a lot, a _lot,_ of backstory that I haven't delved into yet. I aim to change some of that now. Just a little bit, but enough to hopefully create some interest in the character.

Also, I want to explain "Auntie Hima." In Japanese, Naruto would be calling her "Obasan." I recognize that it generally refers to older individuals, but if Naruto is dumb enough to call Tsunade "Granny," then he's dumb enough to refer to a woman that just started aging (average age for the aging process to begin for women is 26) with an honorific that implies she's middle-aged.

* * *

Chapter 15: The Written Exam

(Or: The Author couldn't come up with a title again. He's sorry.)

Ryuji sat in the lounge reserved for Jounin-Teachers inside the Ninja Academy. Guy sat to his right, and Kakashi sat a few feet to his left, reading the latest installment of Icha Icha. Asuma and Kurenai sat across from him. Ryuji took a sip from a coffee mug full of water. He had never consumed coffee or tea (stimulants didn't really do anything for him), and he stayed far away from alcohol these days. Ryuji was a violent drunk, even if he had the alcohol tolerance of twenty hardened shinobi.

Ryuji liked Guy. Unlike many of the other shinobi in Konoha, Guy was direct. He was real. Courageous. He wouldn't beat around the bush and he wouldn't ever lie to you, no matter how much the truth hurt. He'd fit right in with Kumo's best and brightest. He had also been one of the first (among Minato, Himawari, Itachi, and Asuma) to recognize the legitimacy of Ryuji's wanting to abandon his criminal lifestyle and do good, even when the majority of Konoha had been skeptical to the point of attacking him on sight. He may have seemed naive and idealistic, but Guy had a bullshit detector that was second to none. He reminded Ryuji of the Lord Fourth in that sense.

Guy placed his hand on Ryuji's shoulder. "Ryuji, is something the matter? You are very, _very_ tense."

Guy was right. Ryuji was tense. He was angry at Eiji for subverting his authority and potentially risking the lives of his teammates. He was angry at Hiruzen Sarutobi for undermining his authority even further and supporting Eiji. He was moderately concerned about what Himawari would try to do to him after she found out about the whole thing in a few days. Most of all, though, he just wanted his kids to get through the exams with all of them fully physically and mentally intact. Mayumi was strong, very strong, but she didn't have the durability to match. Chakra-enhanced strength had the added benefit of hardening the empowered body part to provide the required durability. Mayumi regularly tore up and broke her hands whenever she tried lifting something too heavy for a normal human or punching something too solid for a normal human. Kazuko, and Eiji on the days Kazuko hadn't been there, generally did a fine job of healing those injuries after the fact, but in a one-on-one fight against a durable opponent, it was a very real possibility that she would destroy herself in the process of trying to beat said opponent.

Kazuko had incredible control of her chakra for a girl her age, probably as a result of her mixed Kurama/Hoki heritage, but her reserves were so incredibly tiny that trying to do anything particularly chakra-consuming would leave her unable to fight. She was smart, and she understood that limitation, so she relied on tools and creative uses of low-requirement jutsu to get the job done. She was of a gentle predisposition, and, tragically, that held her back. She had such an intimate and detailed understanding of the human body that she could easily disassemble an opponent, but she often hesitated or outright avoided attacking in a fight. If she ever managed to increase her reserves and stop hesitating to hurt people, and perhaps if she were to be equipped with a weapon, she could become a force to be reckoned with.

Eiji was the most worrisome. Thanks to his Sharingan, he mastered almost every jutsu or technique presented to him in no time at all, and it wasn't even fully-matured yet. That seal on his forehead controlled his chakra for him perfectly, and because that seal was still filling up and he had Uzumaki Syndrome, it meant that he was technically expending chakra 24/7, even when he was sleeping. His reserves had to be three times that of the average Chunin by now, and that was only what he was capable of using.

In a real fight with a fellow Genin, perhaps even a Chunin, there was almost no question that Eiji would come out on top, as evidenced by as decimation of those rogue ninja to the point where only a few of them were identifiable.

That was the problem.

He was too strong.

He had achieved that strength not through experiential learning, but through improbably lucky genetics and isolated, safe training. The bandits they had engaged thus far had posed absolutely no threat to any of them, let alone Eiji (but it didn't stop Mayumi from hurting herself). The sparring he had done with his teammates had all been exclusively to practice a new technique or jutsu, and they had all been very safe and contained. He had no real understanding of what would be required of him in a real fight. Sure, he was good a theory, but pain was largely foreign to him. If he were to engage in a real, painful fight with another Genin, and if that Genin happened to ambush him and there wasn't anyone nearby to calm him down, it was more than likely he'd end up killing said Genin. That would not do anything good for his already fragile psyche, and depending on the rules of the exam, it might get him disqualified. He was also blindly ambitious. He wanted to get stronger, he'd said so himself, but he had no goal. He didn't want to become Hokage, he didn't express much of a feeling of affiliation with the Hyuuga or Uchiha clans, and he hadn't, thus far, at least, expressed much of a desire to protect his village. A Genin as strong as Eiji that lacked a goal was a prime target for someone like Orochimaru, or, unfortunately, a youthful Ryuji, to manipulate.

Placing Eiji in the Chunin Exams at this moment in time was like placing a high-explosive next to a flickering flame in a paper bomb storage shack.

Or like placing Itachi Uchiha in the ANBU.

Eiji was a catastrophe of epic proportions just waiting to happen.

Ryuji loosened up with a tired sigh. "Yeah. My kids are in there and I don't think any of 'em are ready."

That wasn't entirely true. He was confident in their ability to pass the Exams, but he wasn't confident that they'd come out unscathed.

Asuma laughed. "You sure you're not mad that Eiji managed to make everyone think he was you?"

"Didn't fool me. Saw through it in a second. Just felt like waiting until anyone else caught on before bringing it up. Nobody did. Good job." Kakashi deadpanned.

Ryuji ignored Kakashi. "I'm mad about that too, but more than that, I'm worried." Ryuji admitted.

"About what? Mayumi's strong as an ox, Eiji's sharp as a tack, they'll keep Kazuko safe, and she'll patch them up afterwards." Kakashi didn't look up from his porn.

It was almost eerie how Kakashi knew, even without ever seeing them work together, exactly what their battle plan was.

Ryuji exhaled loudly. "Mostly, I'm worried about Eiji. Kid's too ambitious; too focused on his own progression. Doesn't think about other people. That kinda thinking's gonna get him killed one day."

Kakashi flipped a page. "Heh. Sounds like Sasuke."

"Neji is like that as well." Guy added.

"And Ino." Said Asuma.

"Kiba too." Said Kurenai.

A beat.

"Is it just me, or are our teams a bit...formulaic?" Kurenai asked the other Jounin-Teachers.

Kakashi scratched the back of his neck idly. "That's how it works. Two boys and one girl, usually."

Ryuji shrugged. "Mine is the only squad with two girls."

Asuma laughed again. "Oh please. With Choji so sensitive about his weight and Shikamaru complaining all the time, I've got three girls."

Kurenai smacked the back of his head. "Hey!"

Asuma rubbed the back of his head. "Ow..."

Ryuji took another sip from his mug of water. "When is it that you two are planning on hooking up?"

Asuma lifted an eyebrow. "Why would I like this chick?"

Kurenai put her hands on her hips. "And what makes you think I'm interested in this bonehead?" She asked Ryuji, jerking her thumb at Asuma.

Ryuji chuckled heartily, turning his head to look at Kurenai with an expression not unlike a parent about to lecture a petulant child. "Missy, I may not look it, but I'm old enough to be your dad. I've also known a fair share of women, and I have a sister. In my experience, the surest sign a girl's interested in a guy is when she's confident enough in him to start smackin' him around."

Asuma frowned. "That doesn't make any sense."

"When has love ever made sense?" Ryuji asked rhetorically, remembering his sister's experiences in unrequited love.

Kakashi turned a page. "By that metric, Naruto and Sakura are a done deal."

Ryuji leaned back with a sigh. "They may very well be. If Naruto turns out anything like I think he will, kid's gonna be a golden god by the time he's done growin'. Gonna have to be beatin' the girls off with a stick."

Asuma and Kurenai looked at him like he'd just suggested that Naruto would grow into an attractive human being. To be fair, they didn't know who Naruto's parents were like Ryuji and Kakashi did.

"You're joking. There's no way." Kurenai deadpanned.

Guy leaned forward, a fire in his eyes, as always. "Spoken like someone that's been attractive their whole lives. I used to be...quite, err, homely...but look at me now! Masculine good looks, a sculpted physique, amazing fashion sense, stylish hair, a winning personality, what more could you want?"

Kakashi chuckled. "Oh, Guy. Never change."

Guy assumed his signature "Nice Guy" pose.

Ryuji removed ten ten-thousand Ryo bills from an inside pocket of his haori. "We'll bet on it, then. A hundred-thousand Ryo that Naruto's gonna grow into his looks."

Kurenai narrowed her eyes.

The cigarette fell out of Asuma's mouth."Where the hell'd you get that kind of money?"

"I ran a criminal empire that spanned half the continent for twenty years and converted it into a mercenary company to profit from the war. The hell do you think it came from?"

Ryuji had so much money stored in so many places that he could probably found an entire hidden village on his own. He could certainly afford to move out of his tiny, cramped apartment in the derelict Uchiha district, but he would have trouble doing that. It had become home over the past decade and a half, even if they had placed him there, _right next_ to the Uchiha compound, so the Uchiha could keep a close eye on him.

Kakashi chuckled. "I'll throw in fifty-grand."

Asuma looked at Kurenai.

She looked back at Asuma.

They nodded in unison. "Deal."

Ryuji laughed boisterously. "Oh, you two are gonna be regrettin' this for years."

Kurenai looked at Ryuji quizzically. "Wait, Ryuji, did you say you have a sister?"

Ryuji nodded. "Yeah. Detective Kaoru Sayama of the Konoha Military Police Force."

Her face contorted in confusion. "Really? You two don't look anything alike."

Ryuji couldn't count the amount of times he'd heard that. Kaoru was small(ish) and lean where he was the size of a small tree. She was fair-skinned and dark haired where he was dark-skinned and fair-haired. He had been a notorious criminal for the majority of his life, and she had been a detective for upwards of ten years. For all the differences they had, there was one thing that they both had in common (aside from their mother): The man that, Ryuji believed, had knocked the evil clean out of him, and the man that she had fallen in love with.

"Technically, she's only my half-sister, and she's only your age, but I'm not the kinda guy that makes that sorta distinction." He explained, shaking his head. "A sister is a sister."

Asuma scratched the back of his head. "Did the Third Raikage have an affair or something?"

Ryuji shook his head again. "No. My mom remarried a while after my dad bit the dust. My parents had me and Yuudai pretty young. Happens a lot in Kumo."

Asuma looked confused. "Yuudai?"

"The current Raikage's birth name." Ryuji clarified.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that an S-Ranked secret over in Kumo?"

"Last I checked. How do you know that?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Lucky guess." He lied.

A beat.

Ryuji frowned, taking on an uncharacteristically worried expression. "I hope the kids are doing well."

"It's just an information-gathering test disguised as a written exam. Not too hard, that is, assuming you've taught them information-gathering skills, Ryuji" Kakashi jabbed.

Ryuji had primarily focused their curriculum on combat and survival skills. Two of them had a natural predisposition for subtlety and the other was so strong she really didn't need to be stealthy. He was confident they'd find a way to succeed.

Well, so long as Mayumi didn't resort to beating the answers out of other Genin.

Asuma lit another cigarette. "Isn't Ibiki going to be the proctor?"

Kakashi's smut slipped out of his hand.

The mug of water in Ryuji's hand exploded.

* * *

Kazuko helped Eiji to his feet. "Take it slow."

He was silent, more than likely extremely embarrassed. He stood up shakily, then fell back down to his knees. Mayumi stormed over to Eiji and shoved Ino out of the way. "Move it, honeypot."

"Hey, I was trying to help him up!" Ino protested.

Mayumi grunted and hoisted Eiji to his feet, ignoring Ino. "C'mon Girlie, get up. There we go, up up up. I gotta make Chunin and that ain't gonna happen if you fall apart on us now."

"Mayumi, give him a break." Kazuko begged.

Ibiki Morino pointed dramatically at Eiji, Kazuko, and Mayumi. "Firstly, you three, cut it out! Do you want to be failed before we've even begun?!"

A vein bulged in Mayumi's forehead. "Hey, that was just Eiji! We didn't do anything!" She yelled indignantly.

"He's a part of your team. The responsibility is on all three of you!" Ibiki shot back.

Mayumi looked like she was lining up a long string of expletives when Kazuko raised her hand to stop her. "Mayumi, please stop. Arguing further will get us nowhere fast."

"I'll say this once, and _only once_ : There will be no combat between candidates, no attacking each other without the permission of your proctor, and even then, the use of lethal force is strictly prohibited. And anyone who even _thinks_ of messing with me will be disqualified immediately, got it?" Ibiki barked.

One of the Sound Genin, the one with the spiky hair, scoffed. "No lethal force? That's no fun."

Mayumi gave him the finger with her free hand. "Fuck you, man."

Kazuko glared at her. "Mayumi, you're not being helpful." She hissed.

"'Helpful' won't get us to Chunin." She growled.

Ibiki knocked on the board. "Now, if you're all ready, we'll proceed to the first stage of the Chunin Exam. Hand over your paperwork. In return, you'll each be given a number." To demonstrate, Ibiki removed a small tile with the number 1 written on it. "This number determines where you will sit. We'll start the written test when you're all seated."

Kazuko looked at Mayumi.

Mayumi looked back at her. "Yeah, I read those dumb books Eiji gave me."

Kazuko let go of a breath she hadn't known she was holding in as Naruto proceeded to have a very loud panic attack near the back of the room. Poor thing.

Eiji removed Mayumi's arm and wiped his eyes. "T-thanks, Mayumi."

"Don't mention it, freakin baby." Mayumi grumbled.

He looked at Kazuko. He placed his hand on her shoulder and locked eyes with her. "Thank you."

Kazuko felt butterflies in her stomach. Mayumi rolled her eyes.

Eiji motioned for Kazuko and Mayumi to join him in a huddled. They obliged.

"Alright, I, uh, I've got a plan." Eiji whispered.

* * *

Kazuko set her mechanical pencil down. That test hadn't been as easy as she had been expecting it to be, but it still hadn't been too difficult. She was good with numbers, and most of these questions were math-related. As a medical ninja, she had become very good at keeping track of numbers and working through complex equations in her head.

She looked over to Eiji. He was still writing.

She pressed her lips together in concern, brow furrowing. Math was not his strong suit. He wouldn't calculate the trajectory of a shuriken, he would just feel it out. He wouldn't try and gauge the exact temperature of his Fireball Jutsu, he'd just apply what felt right. While she always preferred to be certain she would hit her mark, she understood why he needed to "eyeball it."

He noticed her looking at him and looked up. He formed a window with his hands.

She nodded. That was the signal that he required help. She liked Eiji a lot, and his instinct had been correct in this instance, but it did not bode well for him as a person that his first instinct when faced with something that could be a legitimate problem was to figure out a way to break the rules and cheat.

She mimicked the gesture and began to focus her chakra. Her vision blurred and suddenly she was staring at Eiji's test.

Eiji had told her how to perform the Mind Transfer Jutsu, and he had told her what to expect, but that didn't make the feeling any less jarring. Merging souls with another person and commandeering their body was an entirely unique experience. She felt everything he felt, including some...

...parts...

...that she didn't have before.

Instinctively, she reached down to where Eiji's legs split.

She made Eiji turn bright pink.

She felt a wave of "NO"coming from the back of her mind.

She made Eiji squeak and refocused from said parts to Eiji's test.

 _Just the test, please. Please don't go exploring._

"S-sorry..." She whispered shakily, grabbing Eiji's pen and filling out the test as quickly as she could.

Having turned thirteen a month or so back, Kazuko was at that very confusing stage of puberty where boys had stopped being gross cootie-factories and started being very enjoyable to be around. Also important to the point that the author will eventually get to was that as a medical ninja, Kazuko knew a great deal about the human body. She knew what the normal age for puberty to set in was. She knew what should be what size and when. Eiji must have suffered from precocious puberty, because what she felt was much larger than it should have been for his age. Come to think of it, that actually made a lot of sense. He was ten (almost eleven), she had turned thirteen a few weeks ago, and Mayumi was going to be fourteen in the fall. By all accounts, they should have both been taller than him. She made a mental note to herself to speak with his mother about potential treatment. That said, she'd seen the medical records of other Main House Hyuuga. This seemed to be something of a pattern for them and most of the men were six feet or taller, so Eiji would probably be fine.

He'd just have an abnormally large-

 _Test, please._

She made Eiji turn pinker. "R-right." She whispered, refocusing on the test.

For some reason, and in spite of her preference for more masculine-looking boys, she'd found herself quite attracted to Eiji lately. He was really very cute, if not handsome, and he was in great shape. Maybe it was because he seemed very nervous of late. She had always wanted a guy that she could take care of, that relied on her for emotional support, and Eiji desperately needed emotional support. She really wanted to be the one that provided that help. Perhaps she would make her move soon, if she could get that Yamanaka girl to back off.

That would be a task and half.

But she would worry about that later. Right now, she had some complex math problems to complete.

* * *

Mayumi stared at her test.

Her test stared back.

She looked to her left.

The seat was empty.

She looked to her right.

Sasuke did not look at her.

She looked back at her test.

The test continued to stare back.

Fucking math problems. Back at the Academy, they had been the bane of her existence, and they continued to hinder her progress even now. Every single problem involved some kind of math. Basic math was no problem. Once algebra got tossed into the mix, however…

Ugh. She didn't need math to be a strong kunoichi. You didn't need to calculate the trajectory of a shuriken if you could punch through walls.

She nibbled on her pencil nervously, looking over to Kazuko. Little brainiac had stopped writing and her test was completely filled out.

She looked over at the clock. She had twenty minutes left.

She gulped. She really didn't want to have to fall back on Eiji's contingency plan.

Sasuke smirked. His test was filled out as well, having copied Kazuko's movements with his Sharingan. He folded his arms. "Nervous?"

"Fuck you, Uchiha." She spat.

He winced in disgust. "Ick. No thank you."

She grumbled and looked back at her test.

Once again, it stared back.

She felt like she was going to throw up. She couldn't answer any of these, and if she failed her team, that was it for the next six months. She really didn't want Eiji's help, but it looked like she didn't have a choice.

She looked over at him. He looked up and met her gaze.

She formed a window with her hands, requesting his help.

He nodded and did the same. She felt his chakra meld with hers, and he collapsed. Then her body began to move without her input. She tried to talk, and nothing happened. She tried to move.  
Nothing.

Panic.

"Calm down, Mayumi, I can't focus with you freaking out like that." She heard herself whisper curtly.

PANIC.

 _EIJI WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON_

In the small part of her mind that wasn't freaking out, she thought it was interesting how calm and collected he sounded. Lately, he'd been stuttering on every word, and he had just thrown up. Why was he calm?

Her pencil flew across the paper, answering questions so far above her level she had struggled to read some of them. "Mayumi, I explained to you how this would work."

Sasuke tilted his head, eyes scanning Mayumi's face. "Heh, hey Eiji? That you in there?"

Eiji had Mayumi nod. "Yeah. It's our backup plan in case Mayumi couldn't figure things out. Kazuko did the same for me."

"Huh. That must have been weird for her. She try anything funny?"

Mayumi felt herself grimace. "I don't wanna talk about it."

Sasuke grinned subtly. "Oh, I know what happened."

Mayumi felt her cheeks grow hot. "No."

Sasuke laughed quietly. "It's really weird to hear Mayumi's voice but not hear a curse every other word. It's like hearing a weedwacker running but it's not cutting up any weeds. A steady drone of noise pollution."

RAGE

 _TELL SASUKE I'M GONNA FUCKIN' KILL HIM_

Eiji finished off a quadratic equation. "Mayumi just threatened your life."

Sasuke twirled his pencil around nimbly in his hand. "Neat."

 **RAGE**

Eiji made her wince. "Sasuke, she's extremely angry right now. I'm almost done. Try holding it in a little longer."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, sighing. "Oh, fine."

Eiji made Mayumi exhale in relief. "Thank you."

They were silent for a while as Eiji finished up Mayumi's test. Mayumi herself cooled down a little bit. She felt Eiji's chakra dislodge itself from hers and she regained control of her body.

She stretched out. "Oh, man. Glad to have that little freak out of my body. His chakra leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

Sasuke folded his arms, leaning back in his chair. "You're lucky to have that kid on your team, Mayumi."

She scowled. "Yeah? Why's that?"

"Gives you way more slack than you deserve. I'd have put you in your place months ago."

She growled, leaning towards Sasuke. "Say that again and I'll-"

Ibiki knocked on the blackboard. "Now that we've weeded out most of the hopeless cases, and now that we've only got fifteen minutes to go, it's time for the main event."

Mayumi stiffened. This was it. The tenth question.

"Alright, listen up: Here's the tenth and final question!"

* * *

Eiji kept his gaze trained squarely on Naruto. His eyes picked up Naruto's every move, and the poor boy was trembling like mad.

Sasuke seemed almost bored by Ibiki's melodrama.

"But, before I give you the tenth question, there are some more rules that you need to be aware of." Ibiki intoned menacingly.

Eiji nearly jumped out of his seat when he heard the door creak open. Kankuro (Sasuke had informed Eiji of the Sand Siblings and their names soon after encountering them and had identified them as legitimate threats) walked in followed by a sentinel.

 _Wait a minute._

Eiji narrowed his eyes, lifting up his forehead protector.

He looked over to the other sentinels. One didn't have a chakra pathway system, and was linked to Kankuro by chakra threads.

Eiji lowered his forehead protector.

So he was using a puppet as a plant. That was brilliant. Truth be told, Eiji probably would have been using puppets if they didn't creep him out so much.

Ibiki looked at Kankuro, gaze boring into him. "You made it just in time. I hope you found your trip to the bathroom... _enlightening._ " He finished with a smirk, tilting his head ever so slightly in the direction of Kankuro's puppet.

Kankuro's face twitched before he slowly returned to his seat, dropping an extremely small scroll on Temari's desk.

Ibiki stepped forward and held his hands behind his back. "These rules are unique to question ten. Listen carefully, and try not to let them frighten you."

Eiji guessed that Ibiki was trying to scare them. It wasn't working. Eiji knew Ibiki wasn't going to attack them. He was the proctor. He probably wasn't allowed.

"Rule number one: You can choose not to be given the final question. It's your decision."

Eiji's expectations went right out the window, excluding the possibility of Ibiki attacking them.

 _What?_

"So what's the catch? Let's say we decide not to do it, what happens then?" A girl at the back of the classroom yelled, obviously agitated.

Ibiki placed his hands in his pockets. "If you choose not to answer this question, no matter what you answers were to the other nine questions, you'll get a zero. In other words: you'll fail. And that means, of course, that both your teammates will fail as well."

Nervous chattering broke out among the remaining Genin.

"-why would you choose to fail?"

"-of course we'll take the question!"

"-I don't get it..."

Eiji was incredibly confused. What was the point of the test at all if there was another part of the exam that would invalidate it completely?

"You didn't let me finish." Ibiki continued, silencing the whole room.

"If you do decide to take the tenth question, but answer it incorrectly, you will not only fail..." Ibiki's voice was barely above a whisper.

What was worse than failing the exams?

"You will be barred from taking the exams ever again!" Ibiki shouted.

Eiji suddenly felt the need to vomit again. He managed to hold it back.

Kiba stood up and pointed at Ibiki. "Hey, that's bullshit, man! What kinda bogus rule is that?! There's lots of people here who've taken the test before!"

Akamaru yipped as if to agree with Kiba.

Kiba was right. Something was off about this.

Ibiki laughed menacingly. "I guess you're just...unlucky. I wasn't making the rules before, but I am now. Of course, if you don't want to take it, you don't have to. If you're not feeling confident, you can come back and try again in December."

Eiji was seriously considering not taking it now. Maybe waiting a few months would be a good thing; he could come back when a psycho wasn't proctoring the exams. Still, he had two people whose careers as ninja depended on this, so it wouldn't be fair to bail without their consent.

He looked at Kazuko and performed the Mind Transfer Jutsu on her.

 _Eiji? What are you doing?_

"Do you want to take the question, or do you want to walk?" Eiji whispered in Kazuko's voice.

 _The test was moderately difficult, but not too hard. I think I'd be able to answer it and get the answer to both of you._

He made Kazuko nod. "Understood."

He dislodged his soul from hers and returned to his body, lifting his face from his desk.

"Now then, it's time for the tenth and final question. Those of you that don't want to take it, raise your hand. Your number will be recorded, then you'll be free to go." Ibiki said motioning towards the door in the back of the room.

Starting with the Genin to Naruto's left, Genin quickly began raising their hands and pouring out of the room. One of the Sentinels was even having trouble keeping up with all the names. Eiji was almost tempted to do the same.

Eiji looked at Naruto. Eiji cared loved Naruto like a brother. He was always shouting about becoming Hokage, but that wouldn't happen if he never moved up from Genin. There was no way Eiji was letting Naruto go through with this.

 _Sorry about this, Naruto._

Eiji formed a window with his hands and projected his soul towards Naruto.

His vision blurred, and he was suddenly in a black void. He could hear nothing, he could see nothing, he could smell nothing.

Uh oh. Something went wrong.

Then he heard the dripping of water and the world came into focus. He was laying on the ground of what looked like the basement of some kind of industrial plant.

What was happening?

He sat up and stood up.

"Hello?" He asked the air.

No response.

He looked around. He was in a hallway. He decided to explore.

This didn't feel like a dream. Everything felt very real, and he hadn't been attacked yet, nor had he killed anything, so he probably wasn't dreaming.

After walking down a few hallways, he turned a corner and found himself in a massive room. One of the walls looked like the bars of a cage, perhaps a gate. On what looked like the lock of the cage, or the handles of a gate, he saw a piece of paper that read "封." Seal.

Even without his forehead protector up, he could feel incredible power coming from behind that seal; more than he ever thought possible. Eiji had the Byakugan, and people with the Byakugan eventually came to see chakra not as a part of the body, but as a source of energy, like electricity. A power source. Whatever lay behind that seal had more chakra than he had ever seen in his entire life. Even if he took into account every single person he had ever examined with his Byakugan, all of it multiplied by a hundred still wouldn't even come close to what he was looking at right now.

The ground shook. **"Oh, I see I have a visitor."** A voice rumbled.

A pair of burning red eyes materialized behind the gate.

Eiji's heart pounded in his chest. He suddenly felt a very strong urge to flee. He looked behind him and saw that the hallway he had just exited had disappeared. he also noticed that his Byakugan was deactivated, and he could not activate it. He tensed up and began to shake in fear.

The eyes flickered. **"Come here, boy."**

Against his better judgement, Eiji decided to step closer.

A massive claw shot out from behind the gate. Eiji yelped and leapt out of the way, landing on his stomach in a rather undignified manner.

The ground shook again as the voice laughed. **"Hah! You humans are always good for a laugh."**

Eiji's face contorted in a mixture of utter confusion, terror, and legitimate curiosity as he stood up and brushed himself off. "What's happening? What are you?"

" **I felt your chakra begin to mix with mine, and I cut it off and isolated you here."**

Eiji narrowed his eyes as he stood up. So he had missed Naruto and hit...

...whatever this thing was. "How do you know my name?"

No response.

Eiji stood up, terrified, but still wanting answers. "Answer my question!"

Another massive claw shot out from behind the bars. Eiji yelled in alarm and ducked underneath it, laying flat on his back.

The ground shook for a third time as the voice chuckled again. **"Oh, I haven't had this much fun in years. Fine, I'll answer three of your questions."**

Eiji stood up and dusted himself off shakily. "Five and you send me back to my body afterwards."

" **Four."**

Eiji inhaled deeply, then exhaled, shaking his head. He had resigned himself to the absurdity of his current situation and decided to capitalize on it."Deal. What are you?"

Eiji could almost feel the entity grinning smugly. **"The Nine-Tailed Fox."**

Eiji felt his blood run cold. He knew about jinchuuriki and the tailed beasts from reading history books and his mother telling him about the attack twelve years ago, he just didn't know _Naruto_ of all people had gotten saddled with the worst one.

His being ostracized by the rest of the village in his early years suddenly made a lot more sense, even if Eiji thought their treatment of him was woefully misguided. Eiji's mother was one of the few people in the village that was consistently kind to him.

The fox laughed again. **"So you know of me? That's refreshing. Not many runts your age do. No one reads books anymore."**

At least this monster appreciated literature.

"...h-how do you know that I know what you are?" Eiji asked the beast shakily.

" **I can sense negative emotions. You are probably one of** _ **the**_ **most consistently terrified individuals I've ever encountered. A lot like Madara."**

Eiji cocked his head to the side. "Madara?"

" **Yes, Madara. That counts as a question."**

Eiji scowled, but the fox was technically correct. The mistake was on him. It wasn't like he could really argue the point, anyways. The Nine-Tailed Fox was of such tremendous power that it could probably just kill him by breathing on him hard enough. Now he could either follow up on this Madara person or ask about how the Fox knew Eiji.

He decided on the latter. "How do you know my name?"

" **Because Naruto does. I can read the little runt's mind; see and feel what he does. All he thinks about is becoming Hokage. Gets real boring after a while. You or that Uchiha boy would be much more interesting. Lots more negative emotions to feed on.**

"Feed on"? So the Nine-Tails _ate_ negative emotions too, or at least they tasted like something to him. The Fox probably got a nightly dose of terror from him every night.

"Why are you sealed inside Naruto?"

Teeth materialized beneath the eyes. They stretched out in a wide, unsettling grin. **"I've already answered four of your questions, boy. Time to go back."**

Eiji held up his hands. He wanted to know more. "Wait-"

" **Bye now. Oh, and introduce Naruto to that Hinata girl, would you? Heartbreak tastes delicious."**

Eiji's vision blurred and he was suddenly back in his seat. He groaned, sitting up.

He was suddenly staring at a pair of…

...eyes was, unfortunately, not the right word.

Eiji blushed and looked up. A woman with purple hair and a trench coat was leaning over his desk, staring straight at him."Hey, little man, you passed. Time to leave."

Eiji blinked. Blood dribbled from his nose. "W-what?"

"I don't really know _how_ , but I'm thinkin' it's because Ibiki here's gettin' soft."

The woman swiveled around. "Hey, Ibiki! You're gettin' soft, ya know that?"

"Screw you, Mitarashi." Ibiki exhaled tiredly, currently in the process of collecting papers.

Eiji blinked again. "I passed?"

She turned around and patted his head with an affectionate smile. "Yeah, short stuff, you passed. Time to go."

Eiji was beyond confused. He looked around. The room was empty. His eyes gradually trailed back down to the woman's chest.

She smirked, pointing her thumb at her ample chest. "I'm Anko Mitarashi. I'm gonna be your proctor for the second phase of the exams. Now take your eyes off my tits and go home to mommy. I'll see you first thing tomorrow morning."

Eiji nodded nervously, averting his wandering eyes from Anko. "O-okay."

He slid out of his seat and walked out the door. Mayumi and Kazuko were waiting on a bench outside the doors.

Mayumi groaned. "Oh, finally. Did you enjoy your nap?"

Eiji decided it would be best if he didn't tell anyone that he had spoken with the Nine-Tailed Fox, instead implicitly confirming their belief that he was asleep. "How long was I out?"

Kazuko looked at her watch. "It's almost four-thirty now, so about thirty minutes."

He shook his head, struggling to understand his current situation. "So how did we pass?"

Mayumi smiled proudly. "Naruto made this speech about how he would become Hokage even if he flubbed the last question. Little guy's brave."

"And you're telling me he got it right?" Eiji asked, tone implying a mixture of incredulity and pride.

Kazuko shook her head. "No, there wasn't a tenth question. The whole test was just an information-gathering test, designed to make us cheat. Ibiki was testing us to see if we were willing to face the unknown. Naruto was, and we didn't want to make a decision without you, so we didn't say anything."

Eiji felt both relieved and guilty. Relieved for passing the test, and guilty for probably causing them so much stress.

Mayumi's stomach growled. "I'm gettin' hungry. Food sound good to everybody?"

Eiji was still very shaken from his encounter with the closest thing his world had to a devil, and he had woken up very early this morning. "No, I'm, uh, I'm pretty tired. I'm gonna go home."

Mayumi turned to leave. "Ah, suit yourself. Enjoy being boring."

Kazuko waved to him. "Bye, Eiji. We'll see you tomorrow morning."

"So long you don't freak out and barf again for no reason." Mayumi jabbed.

Eiji looked at his feet. "Sorry about that…" He mumbled, ashamed.

She folded her arms, frowning. "Hmph. You better be; almost got us disqualified, lousy little jerk."

He shook his head sullenly. "I'm sorry, I, I really don't know why I did that."

He really didn't. Something like that had never happened before, except that one time a few months back.

He didn't like to think about that time, and he planned to suppress this little incident in a similar manner.

Mayumi turned around and walked in the direction of the ladies' bathroom. "I'll be right back."

Mayumi entered the restroom and closed the door. Kazuko rubbed his shoulder. For some reason, he did not pull away. "Eiji, I can help. My father is a therapist, perhaps we could-"

He shook his head. "I'm fine. Thanks."

She squeezed his shoulder, obviously concerned. "Eiji-"

Why was Kazuko so concerned? He was fully functional and in great physical condition. She had no reason to be worried about him.

He brushed off her hand. "I'm fine." He spat.

She stiffened. That had come out a lot harsher than he had meant it to. He really needed to control himself better.

"...sorry. I'm fine, Kazuko. You don't need to worry."

She grabbed his hand. He bristled in response. "Eiji, if you're not fine, you know you can talk to people about it."

He grimaced. "I'm going home now."

She released his hand, expression very clearly conveying a fair amount of worry.

Eiji clumsily formed the tiger seal and "teleported" himself back to his front door. He raised his forehead protector to check if anyone was home. Fortunately, the house was empty.

He removed his house keys from a pouch in his belt and opened the door. He removed his sandals, hung up his sweatshirt on a hook next to the door, removed his forehead protector, and deactivated his Byakugan. He then closed the door and locked it. He examined the multiple holes and bloodstains on the sleeve of his sweatshirt with a disappointed expression. He'd really liked that hoodie, and now he had to go back to his purple one that didn't blend in with anything.

Anyways, he was home, and very happy about it. It was the only place he really felt safe these days, the only place he felt he could keep his Byakugan deactivated and his hand not ready to remove a kunai or paper bomb from his belt at a moment's notice. That was probably why he didn't leave it unless he had to.

Naruto and Sasuke were probably out eating right now, probably at Ichiraku celebrating their passing the first stage of the exams. Eiji didn't feel particularly hungry, but he figured he should throw something in his stomach to keep his strength up. He walked over to the kitchen and prepared a cup of instant noodles. He plopped himself down at the counter and began to eat.

Now that he wasn't moving for the first time today, his mind started to wander. It quickly settled on one thing.

The Nine-Tailed Fox. In hindsight, a lot of things about Naruto suddenly made sense: the whisker marks, the hyperactivity, the aggressiveness, the massive amounts of chakra.

Did Naruto know? He had to. There was no way he didn't.

How was Eiji going to tell Naruto? He was bound to ask why he had "fallen asleep" during the first portion of the exams. Eiji was a good liar, a _very_ good liar, but Naruto could almost always tell when he was lying. Now that he knew, this was probably because of the Fox's ability to sense negative emotions. Eiji would give his left arm for that ability. It would make life so easy. He could so easily tell who meant him harm. He wouldn't have to be on his guard all the time. Perhaps he could speak with the Fox further and discover how he did it.

Chewing on some noodles, he looked to his left.

He groaned. Naruto and Sasuke had left their dirty dishes from breakfast on the counter. Again. Eiji quickly finished off his dinner and cleaned up his mess, then did the same for Naruto and Sasuke, washing cereal down the sink and activating the disposal.

Seeing that Naruto and Sasuke _also_ hadn't done the dishes from the night before like they were supposed to, he did that chore for them as well. It was good that they were focusing so hard on becoming stronger shinobi, but they needed to pull their weight if they were going to live here when the village considered them legal adults. There was less than no chance his mother would ever kick them out, but it would be nice if they didn't leave their messes for her, or Eiji when she wasn't around, to clean up.

He loaded up the dishwasher, inserted a packet of soap into the correct inlet, and set it to run. Yawning, he looked at the clock.

5:30? He'd been home for an hour? That was quick.

He walked over to the couch and fell into it.

Eiji heard the door unlock. He looked up from the couch and watched the door open.

He heard Naruto's voice first. "...can prove I did that, jerk!"

Sasuke opened the door fully. "Really. I guess that all the toilets in the Academy just exploded on their own, then?"

"Yes." Naruto said unconvincingly.

Sasuke exhaled loudly. "Idiot."

"Hey, guys." Eiji greeted, waving at them from his prone position on the couch.

Naruto jerked his thumb at Sasuke. "Can you please tell Sasuke I had nothing to do with the toilets exploding a few years back at the Academy?"

Eiji was still in a class with all the younger kids, having only been moved up to Iruka's class after defeating his teacher, Daikoku Funeno, in a single hit four years later. Naruto had slipped away during lunch break and placed paper bomb balls in every toilet bowl in the academy. They all detonated precisely one hour later. Most everyone knew it was Naruto, but there wasn't enough evidence to convict him.

In spite of his vibrant orange jumpsuit and similarly loud and and glaring demeanor, Naruto was a natural-born saboteur.

"Naruto, I was five. I have no idea." Eiji lied.

Sasuke smirked, removing his sandals and placing them near the door, closing it. "Told you he wouldn't remember."

Naruto took off his coat and kicked his sandals off. "Oh man that ramen was good." He said, patting his stomach happily.

Eiji found it charming how remarkably quickly Naruto could switch topics in a conversation. He was also thankful for Naruto not calling out his lie.

"What'd you get?" Eiji asked him, assuming they had gone to Ichiraku.

"The miso soup! It was really good. Super salty."

Naruto had a fondness for salty foods that was second to none. Eiji was moderately worried that his heart would give out on him later in life because of this, but he was still young. He had time to change his dietary habits.

Not that he would. Himawari set a terrible example for him with all the sugary foods she ate and all the caffeine (coffee, mostly) she consumed.

Eiji readjusted himself on the couch, sitting up and straightening his back. "It's pretty early. You guys feel like doing anything?"

Sasuke yawned. "Nah, I'm goin' to bed. We gotta be up early tomorrow."

Eiji nodded. "That makes sense. Sleep well."

Sasuke gave him a thumbs-up as he entered his room and locked the door behind him.

Eiji closed the dishwasher and pressed a few buttons, turning it on and starting the wash cycle. He walked over to the couch and sat down tiredly, picking up _The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi_. He'd read the book a few times so far, and he'd decided that his favorite character was Renge Momoashi. Eiji always thought that a piece of fiction was only as good as the villain, and Renge was fantastic. Charismatic, highly intelligent, and stronger than both the protagonist and his love interest combined. He found it hilarious that Renge's summon, the giant centipede Gokomaru, hated him and regularly verbally abused Renge whenever he was summoned. It made for great dialogue.

Naruto yawned and flopped on the couch next to Eiji. "Watcha readin'?"

" _The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi_. It's my mom's."

Naruto reached for the book. "Gimme."

Eiji passed the book to him. Naruto opened the book and flipped through it. "Looks boring."

"The main character's name is Naruto."

Naruto's eyes shot open and he flipped to the first page.

He read for a while.

Naruto looked up from the book. "Who's Jiraiya?"

Eiji shrugged.

"What's a Rasengan?"

Another shrug.

"What's a Palm Rotation?"

Eiji could answer that one. He relished the opportunity to talk about the mechanics of jutsu. His mother had told him several times that he should consider becoming an Academy Teacher, or even a Jounin Teacher if he got that far. "It's a defensive technique only Hyuuga can do. We expel chakra from every tenketsu in our body and spin around really fast. It creates a dome of fast-moving chakra that deflects and sometimes reflects almost all attacks. It can also be used offensively by-"

Eiji stopped and noticed that Naruto wasn't listening, eyes having returned to the book. He sighed tiredly. Getting Naruto to pay attention to something was like trying to connect two similarly-polarized magnets. Not only did it not work, it would simply never happen. The laws of nature prevented it.

Naruto looked up at Eiji. "This is boring." He said, indirectly asking Eiji how far he had to go until it got good. The book featured a few pages of world-building at the start. Eiji figured Naruto was a page or so in, given how slowly he read. "Give it time. You can take it to bed with you, if you like."

Naruto nodded, eyes returning to the book. "Yeah, sure."

A few minutes passed. Eiji picked up a magazine called _SQ (Shinobi Quarterly)_ and idly flipped through it. He wasn't a big magazine reader, but he was sometimes curious about the ads. They would tell him about new products available at the multitude of shops in the village. This one contained advertisements for neurotoxins and poison gas bombs at the Yamanaka Flower Shop (Eiji made note to try and remain on Ino's good side), traditional finery sewn by the same seamstress that made every Hokage's haori (he already had some of that for the occasions in which he had to visit the Hyuuga Estate for some kind of formal event or celebration, most often only a direct relative's birthday), discounted twelve-packs of kunai down at the Fuma Clan weapon shop (he was fully stocked on kunai and paper bombs), the like. Nothing particularly interesting.

Naruto swiveled on the couch and rested his legs on Eiji's lap and his head on the couch's armrest.

Eiji hadn't seen Naruto this interested in something since Himawari had given him "the talk."

Eiji waved his hand in front of his nose and recoiled somewhat. "Oh man, Naruto, wash your feet in the morning."

Eiji didn't really like being the mom when his mother was either gone or too tired to do it, but he took to it like a fish to water.

"Yeah, yeah..." Naruto grumbled, eyes trained on the book.

Eiji was absolutely stunned that Naruto hadn't asked him why he had "fallen asleep" during the Exams, but then again, Naruto was so stressed out from the test that he probably hadn't even noticed. Still, he didn't want to jinx it by contemplating it any longer than he had already.

Sasuke would probably ask him tomorrow, though, and he'd have to weave a convincing lie before then. As bizarre as it may seem, it was much easier for him to lie to Sasuke than Naruto. Eiji didn't really know why.

Eiji yawned. He was getting quite sleepy, even if it was rather early, and the amount of body heat Naruto gave off didn't really help matters.

Perhaps he could sleep for a bit. He slowly closed his eyes and his breathing became a slow, steady, in and out. He concentrated on his and Naruto's breathing for a while.

* * *

...

...

...

...

...

...then the screaming started. Eiji opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was a terrified man's face. It looked vaguely similar to his own. Eiji jammed a kunai into the man's chest.

More screaming. Eiji jerked the kunai out and stabbed the man again.

And again, fourteen more times in rapid succession.

The screaming stopped, eventually replaced by strangled coughs.

The scene changed.

His mother knocked him to the ground. He returned to his feet and quickly wrapped his hands around his mother's throat. For some reason, he was larger than she was, and a great deal stronger. She struggled in vain, choking and gagging. In one swift motion, he snapped her neck. She went limp as he dropped her body to the ground.

The scene changed again.

Hinata threw some shuriken at him. Eiji dodged them and quickly closed the distance between the two of them. He tackled her to the ground and quickly slit her throat. The life faded from her eyes as blood pooled on the ground beneath them.

The scene changed again.

Ino jammed a kunai into Eiji's back. He ripped it out and swiftly lodged it in her throat. Blood flew everywhere. He jammed another kunai into her stomach. More blood. She fell to the ground, twitching.

The scene changed again.

Mayumi lunged at him. Eiji caught her and pressed her to the ground, quickly pinning her in place with kunai. Eiji felt his hands weave the sequence of seals required for the Fireball Jutsu, and then he coated Mayumi in flames. She screamed, wriggling around desperately. Eventually, the screaming died down and she stopped moving.

Eiji heard himself laugh.

The scene changed again.

Sasuke jammed a kunai into his chest. Eiji latched his hands onto his uncle's face. He gripped Sasuke's head tightly and jammed his thumbs into his uncle's eyes. Sasuke screamed in pain, blood pouring from his eye sockets. Eiji gripped Sasuke by his neck and thigh and brought him down over his knee, splitting his spine in two before dropping him on the ground and stomping on his head, crushing it underfoot.

Eiji saw himself spit on his corpse.

The scene changed again.

Naruto was standing over him, enshrouded in boiling red chakra. His eyes were red and his irises were slits. He growled, baring large fangs and stretching out enlarged whisker marks.

Eiji tried to move.

He couldn't.

Terror.

Naruto roared and pounced on him, shredding him with fingernails that had grown into claws. His chest was on fire. Blood, _his blood,_ shot everywhere, splattering Naruto's clothing and face. The pain only increased as time went on, and this seemed to go on forever.

Naruto stopped, breathing very heavily.

Then Naruto growled as he lunged in to bite down on Eiji's neck.

* * *

Eiji awoke with a start. His heart was pounding and he was hyperventilating. His skin was slick with sweat. Eiji was very thankful that Naruto was absorbed in the book.

He looked around. He was fine. Naruto was still reading. Sun ws no longer shining in through the windows. He activated his Byakugan and looked around again. Sasuke was fine, if a bit restless.

He calmed his breathing.

 _You're okay, you're okay, you're okay._ He repeated over and over.

He really needed to get a handle on this before tomorrow. If he remembered correctly, tomorrow was going to be a survival exercise. He was okay at those, but if Mayumi and Kazuko observed this, or he had another "episode" where he attacked everything nearby after waking up, he'd almost certainly be ordered to attend therapy sessions.

He didn't have time for those.

At least he'd gotten better at containing the aforementioned episodes after waking up.

"Hey, Eiji?" Naruto asked.

Eiji didn't jump out of his skin only because he was looking at Naruto when he asked the question..

"Hm?"

"You got Ino to jump all over you, right?"

Eiji felt his cheeks grow hot. "Um, yeah?"

Naruto looked up at Eiji with his big blue eyes. "How can I get Sakura to do that with me?"

Eiji blinked owlishly.

Naruto must have gotten to the part of the book where the main character of the same name was discussing his unrequited feelings for Tsuyu with his teacher, Shu.

Whenever Himawari left or, as stated previously, too exhausted to be the disciplinarian, the power dynamics in the house shifted. Naruto and Sasuke would become a great deal more vitriolic towards each other, and Eiji would have to play the role of the mediator. More recently, likely a result of his mother's increased workload (she was home, or at least in the village, for about three weeks out of every month), he'd also become the emotional support for each one when Himawari was indisposed. Naruto would sporadically come to him for advice, like he was now. Sasuke, on the other hand, would never actively seek help with the major depressive episodes he had from time to time, but he'd never outright refuse it if it came to him unless the help was shaped like Naruto.

Eiji placed the magazine back on the coffee table, evaluating how to handle this situation.

After a few seconds of thinking, a plan popped into his head.

* * *

Eiji, as an incredibly intelligent human being and natural-born problem solver and critical thinker, could create a plan very quickly, often unintentionally. They would just pop into existence, fully formed, and he would only later realize exactly what had transpired in his head that led to the spontaneous creation of the plan or strategy. He didn't think multiple steps ahead and create multiple plans at once the way Shikamaru did. He didn't need to and he didn't work like that. He could think fast enough to counter most anything within the range of what he expected and revise his plan as necessary. Sometimes, he'd forget entirely about the old plan and a new one would spring up in its place. This kind of thinking didn't work very well in a strategy game like Shogi or Go, which was one of the reasons Eiji was so hilariously bad at said games. However, as a problem solver and combatant with an increased field of vision afforded by his Byakugan and, and that kind of quick thinking would make him an invaluable asset to his few allies and a nightmare for his many enemies.

In this case, Eiji had come up with a plan to set up Naruto with Sakura.

For the sake of readability and plausibility, the author has transcribed the process in reverse.

Ready for a metric _fuck-ton_ of words?

No?

Too bad.

Here we go!

* * *

Eiji began by questioning if he even wanted to help Naruto with this. He had liked Sakura for years, about as far back as he could remember, but it didn't look like he'd be escaping Ino's grip any time soon.

Not like he really minded.

Eiji was just now starting to appreciate the female form, and Ino was, well, more developed than Sakura was. When she had latched onto him, he had, embarrassingly enough, felt a stirring in his pants that he hadn't felt before. He knew what it was from reading about it, and it wasn't entirely unpleasant, in fact, it had been very pleasant, but it was distracting as all hell.

Deciding that he should focus on Ino for the time being, he resolved to help Naruto win Sakura over.

He then began examining Sakura. She was highly intelligent, kind, and had the potential to be an incredible kunoichi. All good qualities, and complimenting any of them would net you some points with her.

If you weren't Naruto, that is. He'd have to work extra hard to make the compliment seem genuine, elsewise he'd get pounded into oblivion. If one was measuring Sakura's affection for Naruto in points, he'd be in the negatives by now. According to Sasuke, Naruto would regularly say something dumb or do something dumber, and then Sakura would smack him around. He'd seen it for himself for the first time earlier that day, and it was _not_ pretty. It really spoke to Naruto's determination to win her heart that he had managed to convince Himawari that all those bruises and cuts he came home with were from training accidents and not physical abuse from a teammate, because otherwise, Himawari would have put Sakura six feet under years ago.

That was not an exaggeration. Sakura would have been dead and buried after a closed-casket funeral (or a scattering of ashes if Naruto was really beat up) if she found out. She did not tolerate abuse of any of her children, biological or adopted. Not Eiji, not Sasuke, and not her "future boss," as she was fond of calling Naruto whenever he began shouting about being Hokage.

Back on track.

So, yeah.

Sakura was not on good terms with Naruto.

Next, it was time to examine exactly what Sakura saw in Sasuke. Sasuke was of a rather slim build (that Mayumi had once likened to a pile of twigs crazy-glued into the shape of a human) and had sharp, almost feminine facial features that were almost always set to "brooding." Sasuke lacked any interest in romance at all and was rather condescending about Sakura's lack of combat-applicable skills. Her attraction to him made very little sense, but pointing that out would not do Naruto any favors.

Continuing under the assumption that, the first step would be repairing that relationship. That could be done easily enough by apologizing for his claiming to be her boyfriend and clearing up any misunderstandings with the populace of Konoha.

Assuming that worked, the next course of action would rely on the assumption that Sakura worked like Eiji's mother did. Himawari was a smart woman, a powerful kunoichi, and after years of practice, an astounding mother that managed to give a hundred percent to both her career and her kids.

But she was still human.

She had her flaws.

More relevant to this train of thought, she had her preferences in men.

Like Sakura appeared to be, she was attracted to power. Looking at Itachi, a (reputedly, Eiji had no memories of him) nightmarishly powerful ninja whose name was still spoken in hushed tones, even eight years after his defection and whose reputation carried enough weight that it even extended to his son and brother, it made a lot of sense. She had openly admitted this when Naruto had begun to show interest in the opposite sex and had asked her for advice on what girls liked.

Assuming Sakura had a similar affinity for power, that mean Naruto had to surpass her current target of affection, Sasuke, in power.

If Naruto continued training alone, that would be…

…"difficult" was the wrong word.

"Nigh-impossible" was closer.

Now Eiji had to come up with a plan to make Naruto stronger than Sasuke.

Yet again, his thoughts returned to his mother. That happened a lot. She was the most important woman in his life, after all. She was certainly the one he'd known the longest.

Anyway, Himawari was strong. Eiji, even with his limited viewpoint, would argue that his mother was the strongest Jounin in the village. A copy of her profile and skillset was always mixed in with the mission reports that Eiji, admittedly, wasn't _technically_ allowed to read (Eiji frequently broke rules, he just wasn't loud about it like Naruto was), so even if he hadn't seen her fight that often, he knew what she could do. She was a close-range powerhouse with fire chakra affinity that had been the first of her clan to combine Gentle Fist techniques with Fire Style Jutsu, her affinity, and had mastered two other Nature Transformations: Earth and Water. In addition to the Gentle Fist, she mixed in strikes that caused external damage, meaning that unlike _literally_ every single other member of her clan, she knew how to punch and kick, not just poke and spin. If she could teach Naruto even a quarter of what she knew, it would put him miles ahead of where Sasuke was now. Convincing her to do so would be no trouble at all. It would also not be a problem to keep her from wanting to teach Eiji. She had done that already, having trained him to fight since he was old enough to walk. He had gained numerous jutsu and techniques in the past few months from observing others train with his Sharingan, but the training he had received from his mother was his foundation. She had taught him everything he was currently capable of performing and had promised to teach him the rest once his seal filled up and he could utilize all of his chakra.

What would be a problem would be keeping her from teaching Sasuke too. Having been saddled with a little sister at fourteen, she knew what having no attention from her parents was like, and she was very vocal, bordering on zealous, about not wanting any of them to be lacking in love and attention to the point of regularly smothering them with it. That could be solved by having someone else personally tutor Sasuke, probably Kakashi.

With that out of the way, it was time to consider how Naruto would demonstrate that strength to Sakura. If the one-on-one matches were still happening in the Chunin Exams, and Naruto was paired up with Sasuke, that would be the perfect opportunity.

Finally, here was the plan, in sum:

1\. Get Naruto to apologize to Sakura for being Naruto.

2\. Get Naruto to stop bragging and start complimenting her.

3\. Get Himawari to train Naruto and specifically not train Sasuke.

4\. Get Naruto to surpass Sasuke in power and ability and, ideally, defeat him in combat during the preliminaries or the finals.

Naruto's distinctive scratchy laugh caught Eiji's attention. "Ha ha ha! Man, Eiji, you should see the look on your face!"

Eiji had been told a few times that the look on his face when he was deep in thought was very strange. He had never seen it himself, as attempts at reproducing it in front of a mirror usually resulted in his getting lost inside his own head and not processing the visual stimulation fed to his brain via his eyeballs, and as soon as he refocused, the expression would disappear.

Problems like that drove him up the wall.

Eiji coughed awkwardly, clearing his throat.

He hadn't thought of any contingencies yet, but he and Naruto would cross those bridges when they got to them.

Then he focused in on Naruto's face and saw the whisker marks on his face.

Oh yeah.

Naruto had a giant demon fox inside of him.

Somehow, Eiji had forgotten about that.

That changed things.

Eiji had written up a report on the Tailed Beasts back in the Academy. He'd gotten an A on that assignment, but that wasn't what mattered. What mattered was the knowledge he had gained.

Most relevant to Naruto beating Sasuke, he had learned that jinchuuriki that could harness their Beast's power were less ninja and more forces of nature. If Naruto could access even the tiniest sliver of the Fox's power, he would wipe the floor with Sasuke.

But Himawari couldn't teach him how to do that, and there were no other jinchuuriki in Konoha at present, so that option was off the table for now.

Eiji patted Naruto's foot. "Naruto, I think I've got a plan, but it would take a while to explain."

Still giggling, Naruto wiped his eyes. "We should probably go to bed; it's pretty late."

Eiji looked over at the clock.

11:21. Uh oh. He needed to go to bed.

Eiji gently moved Naruto's legs off his lap and stood up, stretching. Even though he had slept for a good while, he was still very tired. "What time should we get up? I forgot to ask Anko."

Naruto yawned. "I forget. I'm sure Sasuke'll get us up."

Or Eiji would. He'd already slept a few hours and he usually got up before the sun did.

Eiji scratched the back of his head. "Alright. See you in the morning."

Naruto nodded and smiled tiredly, walking over to his bedroom and closing the door.

Eiji sighed tiredly, stumbling over to his bedroom and closing the door, locking it.

He peeled off his sweaty tank top and pants and climbed into bed, tucking his hair underneath the covers.

He desperately hoped that whatever was responsible for his nightmares would leave him alone tonight, having already haunted him once today.

He had no such luck.

He spent the next five hours dreaming of blood, death, and the Nine-Tailed Fox.

* * *

 **A/N:** A couple things.

First: Pretty obvious that Eiji's killing all those people fucked him up pretty bad, huh? He generally tries to suppress any thoughts of the encounter, but when he sleeps and his brain wanders, problems arise.

Second: I'm a fan of unreliable narrators. This is why in the last chapter, Sasuke thinks that the reason Himawari adopted Naruto is because of a comment he made about his bouncing around between foster homes. Sasuke thinks this because he often assumes he is the reason for things happening. Eiji and Neji both have this problem too. All three are orders of magnitude above their peers in terms of combat ability, so of course it would go to their heads. Neji's just the only one whose self-centered behavior is deliberate.

Third: We won't see this until much later, and neither of them are aware of it, but Himawari has been instrumental in helping Naruto and Sasuke decide what they like and don't like in a lady. Himawari is a very loud and strong woman with a fire in her belly and an hourglass shape that borders on ridiculous. Naruto will later marry someone with the opposite personality but similar physical traits, and Sasuke will later marry a woman with a very similar personality but very different physical traits.

We'll see about Eiji.

I'm honestly still undecided on who he'll end up with, if he'll end up with anyone at all.

He might not.

I don't know yet.

Sorry.

 _~Essence of Clotheslining_


	17. Chapter 16: Strength of Earth

**A/N:** Well, we have gotten any reviews in a while. I'd really appreciate if you told me what you think. Go ahead and treat it as a YouTube comments section, if you like. It would be nice to see some activity that's not just views. Favorites and follows always give me a warm fuzzy feeling, but nothing comes close to the feeling of someone saying they like with what you're writing, and nothing is more helpful than direct, constructive criticism.

Speaking of constructive criticism, I'm accepting offers to beta-read this story. Having another pair of eyes go over new chapters before they go up would be super helpful.

A couple of things to clear up/explain/talk about:

First: I screwed with the timeline a bit and increased the amount of time Team 9 has had together to match up more closely with canon. Some of the early chapters probably still look a bit wonky in regards to the timeline, but hey, I'm in college. I'm writing three separate essays right now. I don't have a lot of time to write new stuff, let alone go back and fix old stuff. When I get a bunch of free time, I'll try and go back and fix any continuity errors.

Secondly, lastly, and certainly longest, this is a coming of age story. Eiji will follow a similar path to many of his peers, but I'm not telling a story that will be identical to Naruto's; the story of a social outcast that grows into an all-loving hero that represents all that is good. Nor am I retelling the story of Sasuke; the story of a boy with tons of latent potential, and that boy's descent into darkness and madness and his eventual recuperation. Eiji, like his eyes imply, represents the middle path: the perfect balance of dark and light, power and love, yin and yang.

But straddling that narrow line can be difficult, nigh-impossible for someone so young. He will change sides multiple times. Often, he will not even know which side he's on, instead deciding simply to do whatever suits the current situation best, whether that means helping or hurting people. He won't always be able to tell black from white, up from down, warmth from cold, good from evil. He's a smart, creative kid, but smart, creative people are often prone to overthinking themselves into bad emotional places; just look at the stereotypical tortured artist.

Eiji is the result of the union between a Yang from a clan of Yin and a Yin from a clan of Yang. A hot-blooded, kind, loud Hyuuga and a calm, cool-headed, emotionally stable Uchiha; the kind of people that are well and truly one in a million, and exactly the kind of people that would either be a done deal or romantically incompatible depending on who was asked. The one thing everyone asked would agree on is that if a relationship were to occur, it wouldn't last very long. It would burn brighter than all the stars in the sky for naught but a second.

To use terms used frequently in the Shinobi World, Eiji will become one of, if not the _only_ person in this world capable of balancing equal parts dark and light.

His story will be one of a boy, eventually a man, who descends deep, deep into the dark, but still clings to the light and tries to do good, no matter how deep he goes. His story will be one of a boy, eventually a man, who ascends high, high into the light, but still retains a great deal of dark, to the point where he will not show mercy, even when he should.

His story will be one of a boy who flies all over the moral compass before, as a man, he settles clean in the middle.

But right now, he has only a small drop of darkness in his heart. He is surrounded by love and affection and light. He's obviously got problems, but assuming everything stays somewhat normal, he'll get better and stay on the side of the light, eventually making a full recovery and situating himself on the side of the good and righteous.

Time to change that.

Sorry kid, this ain't Twilight. A story needs conflict, and you're the main character. Bad shit needs to go down, and it needs to go down in your general direction.

*shrugs*

* * *

Chapter 16: Fear of Death, Strength of Earth

Anko Mitarashi did not like children. In fact, she'd go so far as to say that she hated them. They were just sweaty little germ factories with nothing interesting to say. She'd chosen to become a Specialized Jounin instead of a Jounin specifically to avoid even the _possibility_ of leading a team of the little anklebiters.

That made it all the more satisfying to put the fear of God into a particularly uppity one dressed like a traffic cone. Oh, had that felt good _._

Unfortunately, on the flipside, she had to interact with another one now, the same one that had somehow managed to _fall asleep_ during one of Ibiki's infamous monologues. He was just wearing a purple hoodie instead of the black one he had been wearing yesterday. The Third Hokage had told her that this kid had managed to weasel his way into the exams. She couldn't remember his name, but she remembered the old man's description of him: Long black hair, wears a lot of dark colors, hunches over a lot, light skin, androgynous, etcetera.

At present, a child matching that description to the letter was sitting alone under a tree, reading the liability waiver he had received from the traffic cone.

She walked over to him, wind blowing her large coat around. "Hey, little man."

He looked around, then looked up at her, his hood largely concealing his face. He pointed at himself as if to ask if she was addressing him.

She nodded, reaching into her coat. "Yeah you. I got something for you."

She produced a form that the Third Hokage had given her and offered it to him. He stood up and took it with a semi-gloved hand, head tilting down to read over it.

The wind picked up and blew his hood down. Fumbling to pull it back up, he knocked his forehead protector off. He yelped in surprise and his face turned a very interesting shade of pink.

Anko observed a lot of things about the boy in a very short period of time.

He had one Byakugan, and one black eye.

The wind had blown a tree branch out of the way for just a moment and the sun had hit his hair, revealing that it was actually a subdued but glossy purple, not black.

Most notably, his features were eerily similar to both her childhood crush and her ex-best friend.

Anko felt a lot of things all at once.

Fortunately, if there was one thing that Orochimaru had taught her, it was how to conceal what she felt extremely well, and to do it with a smile. Or in this case, mocking laughter.

She laughed at him as he tied his forehead protector back on, holding the paper under his arm. He reached back behind his head to pull his hood back up and the wind sent the paper flying.

Anko's laughter stopped.

She sent snakes flying from her sleeve to retrieve that sheet of paper. Before they could reach it, a length of purple-black hair coiled around it and returned it to the boy's hands. How had he done that? It reminded her of that freakish grass ninja that had returned her kunai.

The boy, no, Eiji was his name, watched in morbid curiosity as the snakes coiled back up her sleeve.

She smirked, holding up her arm. "I'll explain my trick if you explain yours."

He pulled his hood back up and tied his forehead protector back on. "I, uh, I channel chakra into my scalp and hair. I can grow it out really fast and control it like another limb. I think it's technically called the Hair Binding Jutsu."

Now she remembered another shinobi doing something like that once. Yeah, that's right, Jiraiya had tried to pass himself off as a snow-covered bush once with that jutsu, the lousy pervert. "Huh. That's neat. I've got a summoning contract with some snakes."

Eiji cocked his head to the side. This was definitely Himawari's kid. She had done that whenever Orochimaru or Osamu had attempted to explain things to her in extremely technical talk.

"Summoning contract?"

She ignored his question. "Hey kid, you're Himawari's brat, aren'tcha?"

The color in his face faded back to normal. "Himawari Hyuuga?"

"Hair like yours? Giant tits?" She cupped her breasts for emphasis. That ought to jog his memory. Anko was no slouch when it came to "womanly assets," so to speak, but if her time with Himawari and her three-week relationship with that Main House Hyuuga had taught her anything, it was that Hyuuga had comically large sexual characteristics.

He turned pink again with an awkward sigh, looking at his feet and reaching into his hood to rub the back of his neck. "Yeah, that's her. Why do you ask? Do you know her?"

Perhaps she could provide him some motivation to survive the exams so Himawari wouldn't splatter her guts all over the village. "I'll tell ya if ya make it outta that forest in one piece. Good luck."

She turned on her heel and walked away as he stammered and struggled to form words.

"Wait! What's this paper? How do you know my mom? How'd you get a contract with those snakes?" He called after her.

She didn't look back. "You can read, and I'll answer the rest of those if you manage to pass this test."

She felt bad for the kid, she really did. If anything happened to his teammates during this phase of the exam, and something surely would, then that form placed all responsibility for it on him. Anko wouldn't wish something like that even on an experienced Jounin, let alone a _Genin_.

Anko strutted back to her temporary "office space" set up under an outdoor shade and plopped herself down in a reclining chair. She lay there, processing what she had learned about Eiji. The last time she had seen him was when she was seventeen, and Himawari was taking maternity leave.

That had been the last time they had talked, at least in any real sense.

He had, naturally, gotten much bigger since then. He had started developing the same highly pronounced-what were they called? Tear-troughs, yeah, that was it. His eyes were almost the same shape as Itachi's, too. If her memory served her correctly, Itachi was regularly mistaken for a little girl when he was younger (though that had changed extremely quickly once puberty set in).

And she had mocked him relentlessly for it.

That was probably one of the many reasons he had taken no notice in her, instead deciding to fuck the one that was consistently nice to him.

Yeah, that was probably it.

She watched the boy shuffle over to what she guessed were his teammates, a white-haired girl and a smaller silver-haired girl.

The white-haired girl was wearing a pair of green cargo pants and a green tank top. Anko found it strange that she wasn't wearing any shoes. She had a confident expression plastered on her face that conveyed an almost unsettling confidence in her ability to handle the absolute hell she was about to go through. Then again, she probably didn't understand the risks.

The silver-haired girl looked like she was handling the situation relatively well, and had dressed much more practically than she had the day before in navy blue kunoichi fatigues underneath what looked like a lab coat. The pockets were filled with various vials of multicolored liquids; poisons and/or antidotes, most likely. So she was the medic of the team. That made sense. Eiji was a Hyuuga/Uchiha mutt, so he had to be the close-range powerhouse of the team. Close-range specialists tended to need a lot of patching up.

So if Eiji was the bruiser, and the silver-haired girl was the medical ninja, then what was the white-haired girl? She didn't appear to be carrying any tools or weapons (though the pockets of her pants sagged a bit, indicating she was carrying _something_ ), and she wasn't wearing anything that betrayed her specialization.

Anko saw the silver-haired girl immediately make physical contact with Eiji, brushing her hand against his. The white-haired girl did the same, albeit by flicking him in the head a few times.

Anko narrowed her eyes. She had seen this before. This was a messy love triangle just waiting to happen. Eiji didn't appear to have much of an interest in either of them. In some ways, that was the worst kind of love triangle: in which both "loves" were unrequited.

Refocusing on Eiji, she saw him accept a scroll from one of the Chunin. Specifically, and Earth Scroll.

Itachi's little brother, the pink creature, and the loud traffic cone's team had gotten a Heaven Scroll.

Oh, this would _very_ be interesting. She wondered how much exactly blood ties meant to Eiji.

Anko put on a pair of sunglasses and exhaled loudly. Everyone had signed the waivers, she'd informed them of the risks, she'd and she'd scared/confused the crap out of at least two children. As far as she was concerned, she'd done her job and earned some community service hours.

Izumo yawned as he walked over to her. She tilted her sunglasses down and sat up slightly to look at him. "Need something?"

He shook his head. "Nope, just letting you know that we've distributed all the scrolls and re-locked all the gates. We're done."

Kotetsu followed Izumo and scribbled something down on a keyboard before briefly examining it and tossing it behind his head. "Cool. I'm goin' home."

Anko shrugged, leaning back down. "I think I'll sit and stay awhile."

Izumo looked confused. "Why would you want to-"

Anko cut him off. "Wait for it…"

A minute passed.

Another minute passed.

Another minute pass-

"AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH"

"PAAAAAAIIIN"

"HEEEELLLP"

"MY EYES"

"IT BUUUURRRNS"

Anko snickered. "Heh heh heh."

Kotetsu and Izumo looked at each other, back at Anko, then disappeared in a blur.

Cowards. If they couldn't handle the screaming, they shouldn't have signed up.

Anko was about to reach for a canteen under the chair when she froze, eyes widening and face paling.

Did Eiji have a Strength of a Hundred Seal?

She shook her head. No, no, it must have been her imagination.

…

…

…

…

…

...had it?

No, that was impossible. That was an S-Rank fuinjutsu. Only Lady Tsunade had mastered it. There's no way a little half-pint like Eiji could have figured it out. The amount of chakra required to form it was so far out of a little Genin's reach that it would be like trying to fill an ocean with a water bottle, to say nothing of the incredibly precise chakra control.

Oh.

So Himawari had done it. She'd had the largest reserves and best chakra control of their class (as a Main House Hyuuga, of _course_ she just had to be that perfect), and she had always had a knack for sealing jutsu.

Anko wouldn't put it out of the realm of the possible.

Anko pitied whatever Genin decided to engage Eiji first and made a mental note to not piss him off. It was likely that he didn't know or understand the full extent of what it could do, Anko sure as hell didn't, but she wasn't about to take that chance with the jutsu that made one of the Sannin famous.

Her stomach growled, and she realized that she hadn't eaten breakfast this morning.

Whoops.

She reached back under her reclining chair and removed her lunch from it, unpacking it and hungrily devouring the dango and sweet red bean soup within.

She liked dango a lot.

Damn Himawari for getting her into it in the first place.

If there was anything Anko was sure of about Himawari, anything that remained the same after all these years, it was her insatiable sweet tooth and addiction to caffeine. That woman was barely functional without a few hundred milligrams of stimulants diluted by sugar and milk in her system.

As she picked the sticks clean of the damnably delicious rice dumplings, she began flicking them into a nearby tree trunk, gradually forming the shape of a leaf.

Her watch decided the now was a good time to start beeping. Said beeping threw her aim off, and she accidentally whipped the stick into the forest.

She groaned and looked at her watch.

It was that time already? How long had she been laying there? Ah well, the faster ones would probably be finishing up soon. She could take her time and greet them at the tower.

Then one of the Chunin that was helping her work this portion of the exam appeared in front of her.

"Ugh, now what?" She groaned.

The Chunin bowed his head in apology. "Pardon, ma'am. Something's happened."

She raised an eyebrow, sitting up and stuffing her sunglasses back in an inside pocket of her coat. "What sorta problem?"

"Corpses, ma'am. Genin from the Hidden Grass."

She stood up and rubbed her forehead. She did not want to deal with this right now. "Great. Fucking fantastic. With my luck they got offed before they could sign the release forms."

A beat.

She looked up. "What, you just gonna stand there? Get us to the bodies!"

He nodded nervously. "Yes ma'am." He said, forming the Tiger seal and teleporting them to the scene of the crime.

The first thing she saw when the smoke cleared was that the corpses lacked faces, as if they had melted off.

Her blood ran cold.

 _Oh no_.

 _Oh_ _ **FUCK**_ _._

She reached up to the mark on her neck, which had suddenly begun to burn for the first time in years.

The Chunin that had teleported her there reached out in concern. "Ma'am, are you alright?"

She grabbed for the nearest Chunin, which happened to be Kotetsu, and brought his face within a few inches of hers. "Get the ANBU down here ASAP!"

She shoved him away. "Go!"

They nodded in unison before vanishing in various directions. She turned around and sprinted towards the forest.

She knew who Orochimaru was coming for, and she needed to get to him before Orochimaru did. If she didn't...

She shivered as she leapt over the gate.

She couldn't think about that now.

Right now, she had to focus on saving Eiji's life.

* * *

Eiji, for once, was not wearing his forehead protector. The trees blocked almost any sunlight from reaching the forest floor and said trees were so plentiful that he would have immense trouble seeing anything coming.

Without a Byakugan, that is. He'd always had it, and he almost always had it activated, but he couldn't imagine life without it.

Seeing his teammates without their clothing wasn't exactly helpful for focusing on scanning for threats and danger, but he'd be damned if it wasn't worth it. So far, he'd taken out six leeches, one giant centipede, and diverted three teams of enemy Genin, all without anyone else noticing. Not his teammates, not the animals, and not the other Genin. All it took was a quick flick of a kunai or explosive tag in the right direction, and the resultant collision would result in one or more of the following: dead leeches, dead giant bugs, and/or diverted/distracted enemy Genin.

Mayumi and Kazuko were blissfully unaware of the things that were actively trying to kill them, and he would keep it that way. If they knew about the danger, then Mayumi would try to find it and punch it and Kazuko might freak out.

With their lives legally in his hands for the next work week, he did not need to deal with any of that. That was another reason why he had the scroll: they were less likely to be targeted.

His plan was to safely escort them to the building in the center of the forest, hide them there, and then he would go out and search for a Heaven scroll himself. Of course, they would think that they were setting up a trap for other teams. Kazuko was very good at setting up elaborate Genjutsu that was triggered by foreign chakra flow (as in not of Team 9's chakra signatures), and Mayumi was very good at knocking people out in one strike. They would make a great team, and Eiji wouldn't be surprised if they actually caught some teams in their trap, but their priority would be staying safe and out of sight.

Mayumi swatted at a bug near her ear. It exploded and Eiji's hair flew back as if he had been blasted by a gust of wind.

Mayumi was _very_ strong.

"Are we close to the building yet?" She asked.

Eiji fixed his hair and focused forwards, sacrificing an expanded field of vision for telescopic sight. He closed his left eye and saw through the trees. He ballparked the distance at around a quarter-mile.

He "zoomed out" and turned to Mayumi, pointing towards the building. "About a quarter-mile. You could probably jump there." He suggested, eager to get them out of harm's way.

Mayumi grinned eagerly, obviously excited. "Say no more."

Kazuko did a double-take between Mayumi and Eiji. "Wait, what-"

Mayumi scooped her up in a bridal carry. Kazuko squeaked in surprise.

Realization dawned on the latter's face. "No-"

"Hang on tight!" Mayumi shouted, ignoring Kazuko's protestations.

Eiji had been through this once or twice; Kazuko was not in for a fun time.

Mayumi ejected herself high into the air with a pillar of rock. Kazuko at least managed to keep from screaming and revealing his position.

Mayumi was not so tactful. She laughed and shouted gleefully as she soared through the air. Eiji heard them land with a loud crash, followed by Mayumi giggling very loudly.

Well then. He had gotten rid of them much more easily than he had expected to. He had planned for yelling and perhaps mild physical abuse from Mayumi, but not happy, almost gleeful, acceptance.

They weren't other Genin disguised as his teammates, his Byakugan had assured him of that, but something still felt off. No, he was just paranoid.

Probably.

He waited a moment, trying to decide what direction to look in first.

*BOOM*

Eiji whipped his head around and saw a tree come down. He focused in on that spot, and saw the blazing chakra of the Nine-Tailed Fox.

One thought came to his mind.

Run.

No, he couldn't run. The Fox fed on negative emotions, meaning that if it was getting enough negative emotions to actually provide Naruto some chakra, then Naruto had to be in danger.

Naruto, for all intents and purposes, was his brother.

His mother had told him for as long as Sasuke, and later Naruto, had been living with them that siblings watched each other's backs; kept each other safe.

He stuffed his forehead protector in his pants pocket and discarded his sweatshirt. He activated his Sharingan and focused his chakra in his feet, propelling himself through the air. He bounced between trees in the general direction of Team 7, the scene eventually coming into focus with his Byakugan. He saw Naruto punching a giant snake in the face. Sasuke and Sakura just stood there, stunned. Eiji couldn't really blame them.

Atop the snake rode that Grass Ninja that had returned Anko's kunai.

His breath hitched and his heart skipped a beat.

His feet ground to a halt and he clung to the side of the tree he had been scaling.

That ninja's chakra, put simply, was so horrifyingly powerful and otherworldly that he couldn't accurately describe it.

He felt fear.

Then he felt pain.

Lots and lots of pain.

Eiji's forehead exploded in pain unlike any he had ever felt before. He cried out and fell off the tree, landing on his back with a dull thump. The breath was knocked out of him and he lost control over the chakra he was using to keep his eyes activated. He sputtered and coughed, desperate for air. He groaned, rolling around on the ground. His ears rang, his vision blurred. Everything was blinding pain. He heard noises, but he couldn't process them. Everything hurt, he couldn't see straight.

He heard screaming.

His family was in danger.

And he was too weak to do anything.

He was a coward, worth even less than the dirt he lay uselessly upon, but he still couldn't force himself through the pain; couldn't force himself to move.

He lay there, shivering and curled up in a ball, hoping against all hope that Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura were alive.

Minutes passed.

The screams finally subsided, replaced by strangled chokes and coughs. Sasuke sounded like he was in immense pain. Naruto was silent, and Sakura was screaming Sasuke's name in a panic.

Eventually, those noises subsided too.

Then he heard footsteps on the dead leaves behind him.

Then, a voice.

"Oh, child, I'm disappointed. Your mother would have at least put up something resembling a fight."

Eiji was in too much pain to make use of his Byakugan, and even if he wasn't, he was far too terrified to think straight.

A figure stood beneath a shade.

Eiji backed away hastily and clumsily, still on his back. His heart pounded in his chest and his breaths were short and panicked.

The figure stepped forward. Slowly, but strangely gracefully, almost like a skillfully-manipulated marionette. It laughed again. Quietly, but with enough menace and malice to freeze Eiji where he sat/lay.

"I've been observing you for a good while now, Eiji, and I must say that you are just like your father. A prodigy in every sense of the term. In fact, I'd say that you're probably farther along now than he was at your age. Your uncle Sasuke is quite something as well, and he's my contingency plan, but you, oh, _you_ have the potential for incredible power."

Eiji didn't really know whether to be horrified or flattered that this...thing...had taken such an obsessive interest in him.

"Say, child, what has your mother told you of her childhood?" The figure asked.

The small part of Eiji's mind that wasn't thinking _RUN THE FUCK AWAY,_ or, in other words, could engage in conscious thought, stopped to think. She hadn't really ever talked about her childhood and her time as a Genin.

The figure chuckled darkly. "Yes, that's what I expected. Would you like to know what she's been hiding from you?"

His mother had been hiding something from him?

The figure laughed again. "I'll take that expression as a yes."

Then the figure was suddenly in front of him, and Eiji could see them clearly. They were wearing a strange khaki robe and an even stranger purple rope-belt-thing that was tied like a pretzel around the person's back. The person's face, while somewhat feminine, was irrefutably male. His eyes were like a snake's with slit pupils and were tinted a sickly yellow. The glowed in the dark. His skin was pale white, like paper. He had purple marks around his eyes that reminded Eiji of a snake.

"If you wake up, ask Anko about her experiences in the Chunin Exams, and tell your mother that 'Oro-sensei' sends his regards."

The man lunged for Eiji's neck.

Images of his dream from the evening prior flashed through his mind.

His pupil dilated and his expression went slack.

The last fully-coherent thought Eiji would have for the next several hours etched itself in his mind:

Survive.

He subconsciously activated his eyes and aimed a chakra-enhanced palm strike at the man's head.

* * *

Orochimaru felt the boy's palm impact his face, and he flew back a few feet, head smacking against the ground with a loud crack.

Goodness, that hurt a lot more than he had expected it to.

Orochimaru had been punched in the face probably hundreds of times over the course of his life, and he could perform incredibly complex mathematical equations in his head at enviable speed.

Orochimaru would guess that Eiji had struck him with over two tons of ton-force, a little more than two-thousand kgf (kilograms-force). That would blow any normal human's head off, but Orochimaru was no normal human, and he hadn't been for quite some time now. He'd reinforced his body with numerous implants, performed the necessary surgical procedures required for modifying his body shape with chakra, and numbed his nerves to the point where he barely felt pain. It really spoke to the incredible potency of the boy's chakra that a chakra-infused palm strike was enough to make a person whose nerves were barely responsive feel pain.

It felt a bit like his mother's chakra, too. It burned when it entered his system in almost exactly the same way.

Orochimaru returned to his feet much in the same way a person would stand up a limp puppet as he corrected his broken nose.

He grinned disturbingly, tilting his head down so that his hair masked his eyes. "I was moderately concerned that your mother's fire had passed you by. I see now that this concern was unfounded. Now, I-"

Orochimaru paused his monologue. Eiji wasn't listening.

Instead, he was inhaling deeply, hands having formed the Tiger Seal.

Orochimaru had already been roasted once today, he didn't much like the idea of being cooked again. He could survive it and much worse, but it certainly wasn't a pleasant feeling.

He quickly melted into the ground as Eiji exhaled a cloud of flames. He silently moved through the ground and slowly rose up out of the ground behind Eiji's left flank, right in his blind spot. Orochimaru giggled disturbingly as he rose from the ground. "I must say, child, you-BLARGH"

Eiji performed a series of rapid-fire Gentle Fist strikes/pokes to Orochimaru's stomach before redirecting his strikes to Orochimaru's face, changing from chakra-injecting pokes to bone-breaking punches, roaring and yelling all the while. He finished the combination attack with a wheel kick to Orochimaru's face, heel impacting his jaw with a stomach-churning crunch.

If Orochimaru hadn't seen the assault coming a second or so before it started and turned the consistency of his bones and other assorted hard bits to rice pudding, his spine probably would have been snapped in half by now. While the rabid punches and kick hadn't hurt in the slightest, they had impacted him extremely hard. This kid could hit like a truck (not that he knew what a truck was). Where was that power coming from?

Eiji panted hard, eyes wild and face pulled back into an expression reminiscent of a cornered animal.

Orochimaru frowned, legitimately frustrated. This boy was all business, not content to let Orochimaru enjoy himself. Himawari had been like that too, in a sense; always cutting him off and interjecting what he was saying to make a joke or ask a question that he had already answered and she would have already known the answer to _if she had been listening_.

Orochimaru fixed his jaw, snapping it back into place. "I was speaking to you, child. You would do well to respect your elders and hear what they have to say before you-"

Orochimaru stopped again.

He noticed a little black rhombus on Eiji's forehead.

A Strength of a Hundred Seal.

That wasn't in any of Kabuto's reports.

Now the boy's striking power and incredible chakra control made sense. The seal was doing all the work for him. But where had he gotten it? Generally, one required Katusyu's blessing in order to apply one. The punishment for doing so without her consent was immense chronic pain doled out on a regular basis until the seal was removed, which was Orochimaru's primary reason for not applying one. This boy must have had an incredible fortitude or tolerance for pain if he had effectively stolen the technique.

Hopefully, that meant a higher likelihood of Eiji surviving what was about to transpire.

Orochimaru resolidified himself and quickly exited the ground, brushing himself off. He had played with his food enough.

He removed a small, highly ornate knife from his mouth. He had used this knife to apply Kimimaro's seal, and seeing as how Kimimaro was more than likely going to be his next body, he needed to fill the "Cursed Seal of Earth gap" amongst his minions, so to speak.

He licked the blade slowly, chuckling darkly as he imbued it with his chakra. "Boy, do hold still for me, will you?"

Faster than even a Sharingan could track, he coiled himself around Eiji and constricted his movement completely. Eiji struggled and, interestingly enough, lashed out with his hair, but it was all to no avail.

Orochimaru tapped the knife the way a doctor would tap a hypodermic needle. "This may cause you some discomfort." He said, feigning sympathy.

Eiji's face was pure, animalistic terror.

Orochimaru swiftly inserted the knife into Eiji's manubrium. His screams of agony were tremendously satisfying.

After a few seconds, Orochimaru removed the knife. The wound on Eiji's chest sealed itself up and a Cursed Seal of Earth appeared below his neck.

Orochimaru uncoiled himself from Eiji, who fell to the ground, twitching and convulsing.

He crouched down, stroking Eiji's cheek. "Oh, dear boy, don't worry. Assuming you survive, this mark will provide you with immense power; very worth any, heh, _discomfort_ you may be feeling right now."

Eiji clenched his teeth and let out a choked scream, very clearly in ungodly pain. Kimimaro had screamed for days after his seal had been applied, Orochimaru couldn't imagine this hurting any less on a boy without the same regenerative abilities. Well, at least until the seal progressed, that is.

He watched Eiji writhe and convulse on the ground for a while, mostly because he had the luxury of no one else being around.

Wait, did he?

He "sniffed" around. Orochimaru had, through many experiments with predatory snakes, given himself a vomeronasal system that also allowed him to "smell" chakra.

Sometimes this led to pleasant surprises, like Himawari's chakra smelling like vanilla.

Other times, it told him some interesting things about the individual. For example, Eiji's chakra smelled decidedly like what Orochimaru had previously believed to be exclusively synthetic: androstadienone, an endogenous steroid that functioned a lot like sexual pheromones. This boy would have an interesting puberty, that's for certain.

He sniffed again, flicking his tongue.

An evil grin.

An all of the time, it let him identify who was around him.

At present, aside from the normal smells of the forest, he smelled cinnamon.

Anko.

Orochimaru patted the boy's head. "Well, if my nose is serving me correctly, Anko should be nearby. What do you say we go see your-"

Orochimaru's eyes widened. Eiji had fallen unconscious, and the seal was beginning to spread across his body by way of black lines covering his skin.

"Already? This shouldn't be happening so soon..." He whispered, trailing off.

Cursed Seals generally took about twelve hours to set in, though Tayuya's had only taken eight, likely because of her Uzumaki heritage. Eiji had accepted and activated it in minutes. How fast exactly was his chakra flowing through his body? He would have to research the boy when he inevitably came to Orochimaru for training.

He shook his head and scooped Eiji up.

It was time to set up a trap and send a message.

* * *

Anko's neck pulsed again as she leapt through the trees. Orochimaru was definitely close, the slippery bastard. She could feel it. She stopped, crouched down, and carefully scanned the surrounding trees.

Her eyes locked on a small humanoid figure lying down face-first on one of the branches.

She inhaled sharply when she saw it was Eiji. She leapt over to him and flipped him over. He was a bit scuffed up, some bloodied knuckles and a few cuts and bruises, and his hoodie was gone, but he was otherwise fine.

She exhaled in relief, Orochimaru temporarily forgotten.

A hauntingly familiar voice spoke from everywhere and nowhere. "Anko, my dear, have you forgotten what I taught you about checking for injuries? One needs to be thorough."

Her neck throbbed once more.

She removed a kunai and cut through Eiji's tank top, removing it.

Oh no.

His entire torso was covered in black lines, all of which stemming out from a mark below his neck that looked like three curved claw marks arranged in a triangular circle.

A Curse Mark.

She whipped her head around, looking behind her.

There he was.

He looked exactly the same. Jiraiya had at least had the decency to look his age. If anything, Orochimaru looked _younger_.

"It's been a while, Anko. You've grown quite a bit. Not quite as much as Himawari, I hear."

Anko snarled, standing up and turning around. She would not be baited. "Fix the kid. Now."

He smiled smugly. "Anko, I'm hurt. I expected you'd welcome the one person that ever had faith in you a bit more warmly."

She gripped the kunai tightly. Prick. "You guessed wrong. Now, I'll say it again: fix the kid."

"You know, I don't think I ever worked out how exactly to remove cursed seals. I'm afraid that if the boy survives, he'll be stuck with it forever."

Anko began to shake in rage. " _If?!_ "

Orochimaru shrugged nonchalantly. "If he doesn't, I've got two other prospects. One is the boy's uncle, I believe. Sasuke Uchiha. Nice boy. Fond of fire jutsu. I marked him the same way I marked you."

Anko was so mad she couldn't form words.

"I see this as something of an experiment. I've never pitted the Earth and Heaven marks against each other, it will be interesting to see which of them comes out on top. My money's on Eiji, but Sasuke may surprise us."

Anko had heard enough. "Striking Shadow Snake!" She shouted, launching four snakes at him and yanking him towards her. She tackled him to the ground and lodged the kunai she was holding through her left hand and his right.

Her face was an inch from his. She idly noticed that he didn't smell like anything. That unnerved her more than it should have.

She weaved her right digits through his left. "If you can't fix the kid, then we have nothing more to say. We're going to die here, _sensei_."

He looked at her dryly, almost boredly. "Anko, dearest, I would strongly advise against performing that justu."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

The Orochimaru underneath her melted into mud. She quickly removed the kunai from her hand and stood up, hastily binding it with a bandage.

Orochimaru was standing behind Eiji's limp form. "Aside from the obvious violations of shinobi ethical code that you have decided to restrict yourself to, it's because you'll need to be alive to keep him from destroying the forest."

She looked down at Eiji. The black lines were spreading fast. They hadn't yet reached his arms, but they were climbing up his neck and down his stomach at an alarming rate.

"It appears that he accepted the seal," he looked down at his wrist, "oh, and in record time, to boot. Twelve minutes. The boy's fast on the uptake."

He waved to her with an evil grin. "Have fun babysitting! Oh, and don't try to deprive me of my fun by cancelling the exams early. I can activate your marks from miles away. Three people with Curse Marks could do a lot of damage before old Hiruzen figures out what's happening, and that's enough time to rally my followers and for Manda to stop arguing with me. I'm sure you understand. Goodbye."

Unfortunately, she did. Anko had sealed up her Curse Mark years ago, but Orochimaru could probably just flood it with his chakra remotely and power through it. His threats were not empty.

They never were.

And with that, Orochimaru disappeared into thin air.

Anko put her kunai away and ran over to Eiji. She needed to get some sedatives in him ASAP. If she didn't, then they'd have a repeat of what had happened after she had received her mark: A rampage of epic proportions.

And she had been a little twelve-year-old without any particularly unique abilities.

Eiji was a boy that could breath fire and expel chakra from every tenketsu in his body.

He could probably take out a quarter of the village before anyone could stop him, and that was assuming they were trying to keep him alive. Plus, she hadn't ever seen this kind of Curse Mark before. She had no idea what it did.

White chakra began to radiate outward from Eiji, and the tree branch they stood on was quickly torn to shreds. Anko caught Eiji out of the air and landed on the ground. He wasn't moving yet, but he would be any minute. For whatever reason, the mark had taken minutes to do what hers had done in hours.

She removed some rope from a pouch in her coat and began tying him to a tree. She needed to move quickly. Any second now, he'd-

Anko was blasted backwards by a massive wave of chakra. She flew back into a tree and fell to the ground.

Needless to say, that hurt a _lot_.

She inhaled sharply, trying to fill her lungs with much-needed oxygen. Her vision was blurry and her ears were ringing, but she could still see Eiji. He stood there, completely still with his shoulders hunched, as black lines quickly covered his entire torso, spreading outward from the mark on his chest. His Byakugan had been activated, and his Sharingan had been as well.

Then Anko heard a voice. "Oh, man, _there_ you are. Kazuko made me run off to find you 'cuz she was getting worried, but I knew you'd be fine-hey, what's with those lines? And man, you are a _lot_ more muscular than I thought you were."

The white-haired girl that had been pestering Eiji much earlier today had approached him.

Uh oh.

Anko tried to move, but she couldn't move or see in a straight line.

She began to panic. She was the only one who could shut him down, and now she had been incapacitated because of her own recklessness.

"Get away from him..." She groaned, trying to warn the girl.

She didn't hear Anko.

* * *

Mayumi was frustrated. In her opinion, this frustration was completely justified. Kazuko had. requested that she go check on Eiji to make sure he was okay. There were multiple problems with this assignment.

First off, Eiji was probably, overall, the most competent member of the team. He wasn't the best survivalist, but he was a hell of a scout and he had a natural predisposition for silent movement. He'd be fine, more than fine, but Kazuko had a dumb little crush, so Mayumi had left Kazuko in Team 8's care, who supposedly had the same idea as Eiji to set up a trap for incoming Genin Teams, while she left to assuage Kazuko's unnecessary worries. Kazuko got along with Team 8 very well (having been friends with Hinata in the academy, shared an interest in science with Shino, and taken care of Akamaru on a few occasions), and Eiji had taken the scroll with him when he left, so they had no reason to attack Kazuko or Mayumi.

Second, Mayumi was not a good choice to go check on Eiji. She did not move quietly both out of personal preference and lack of skill in doing so. Hinata or Shino would have been better; the latter needing only to plant a bug on Eiji that could track him and the former almost certainly would have been able to do it without even having to move.

Lastly, and most importantly, she simply didn't want to do it. She did not like Eiji and she liked interacting with him even less.

In spite of her consternation, she was admittedly very curious about what exactly was going on. She didn't know Eiji had some kind of weird magic tattoo.

She poked his chest. "Hey, where'd you get that tattoo? It's pretty weird."

He slowly turned to look at her.

He was silent.

The look on his face was, in her opinion, quite frustrating. She couldn't say exactly why, but the expression on his face just made her mad.

She cocked her head to the side in confusion and annoyance. "What's that look for, huh? You look like you need to go take a piss or someth-"

Mayumi had trouble speaking now, because Eiji's fist had just collided with her jaw and sent her flying backward into a tree trunk. Mayumi was durable, almost unnaturally so, but even she had her limits.

Colliding with a tree at high speeds wasn't enough to kill her, or even knock her out, but it hurt like a bitch.

More than physical pain, though, she was legitimately surprised that Eiji had actually _attacked_ her. This wasn't the infuriatingly patient Eiji she knew. The Eiji she knew would take everything she could throw at him and more, and not even bat an eye. The Eiji she knew was physically powerful, but not any more than could be expected of, say, a physically fit, thirteen-year-old boy.

This, this was someone else.

She removed herself from the Mayumi-shaped indent in the tree and rolled her jaw. "Man, didn't think you could punch like _that_ , Girlie."

He stood there, still as a corpse.

She slid into a fighting stance. "Not gonna say anything, huh? I guess now you're the silent, brooding type, eh? Ino's gonna love that."

More silence.

She growled. Eiji would have at least said _something_ by now.

Maybe she needed to say something that would really get him going.

"Hey, Eiji, you find a boyfriend yet?"

The punch in the face she received from Eiji, who had crossed about twenty feet in the blink of an eye, told her she was on the right track. She had prepared for this one, and she had stuck herself to the ground with her chakra.

He aimed another punch at her, and she caught it. The ground shuddered from the force of the impact. For the first time ever, she actually met resistance to one of her strikes.

That _really_ got her pissed.

Then something clicked in her head.

Her face contorted into a mixture of glee and rage.

She could beat up Eiji.

And unlike nearly every other opponent she had ever faced he could _actually take more than one strike_.

She growled and grabbed his arm with her free hand, flipping him over. He hit the ground with a loud thud. He spun around, twirling his legs in the air. He swung them around back onto the ground and twisted his body, aiming a punch at her. She ducked underneath it and aimed a punch at his ribs, which were now vulnerable. It impacted his ribs with a loud crack and he doubled over. She capitalized on his disabled state by grabbing his head tightly and forcefully applying her forehead to his. He staggered backwards and backflipped out of the way of the kick she had been aiming at his chin.

A beat.

They charged back at each other, trading blows and tossing each other into things for the next two minutes. Mayumi had never felt this exhilarated. _This_ was what a real fight was like. Clenched teeth and closed fists and blood and sweat and pain and _violence_.

He aimed a kick at her head, but she dodged out of the way and caught his foot. She gripped him tightly and swung him around in a few circles before letting go with a roar. He flew back through a thicket of tree branches before leaping back out almost instantly, aiming a kick at her. Again, she caught his leg.

Then she felt something wrap around her torso.

She looked down, inadvertently dropping Eiji.

His hair had constricted her torso. She tried desperately to rip it, but she couldn't. It was incredibly dense and extremely hard; probably reinforced with chakra.

He stood up, looking at her. His hair held her in the air. She kicked and flailed, shouting obscenities, expletives, and threats at him.

"FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUYOUFUCKINGPIECEOFSHITIHATEYOUSOMUCH"

He grinned slightly. "Love you too, Mayumi."

She growled. Fucking asshole.

Then she felt her chakra begin to deplete. To describe it as an unpleasant feeling wouldn't be doing it justice. It felt like he was sucking the life out of her. In a sense, he was. His hair began to glow green slightly, presumably with her chakra, and she began to very quickly lose conscious.

Then the strangest thing happened.

Eiji's hair, starting with the hair wrapped around her body, was starting to turn to stone.

A woman then appeared out of nowhere and cut his hair with a chakra-reinforced kunai before slapping a paper tag on his chest. She fell to the ground and the stone that was once hair shattered. She felt instantly revitalized. Mayumi stood up and removed bits of stone from her shirt. She recognized the woman that had cut Eiji's hair: She was the proctor of the exams, Anko Mitarashi.

"Thanks-" Mayumi started to say.

Anko held up a hand. "Not right now. Now, we've got to deal with him." She said, pointing at Eiji. He stumbled around, clumsily swiping at the tag on his chest.

"What's that thing you stuck to him?" She asked, pointing at the tag on Eiji's chest.

Anko twirled the kunai in her hand nervously. "Chakra-suppression tag. Should make it easier to knock him out so I can seal up the mark on his chest."

"What's making him like this?" Mayumi asked. Anko seemed to know what was happening, and Mayumi really wanted to know.

Anko pointed to the three marks just below his neck. "That mark. I need to seal it up. Now kindly shut the fuck up and help me knock the kid out, please?"

Mayumi smirked. She liked this woman, probably because she reminded Mayumi of herself. "Don't need to ask twice."

Eiji eventually managed to remove the tag, but not fast enough. Mayumi aimed a punch at his face while his eyes were still half-open.

She grinned. "Night-night, pretty boy."

She punched him in the face as hard as she could. He was sent flying back thirty feet into a large rock, which cracked upon his impact with it.

He fell to the ground and the marks receded into his chest.

Anko sprinted over to him and flipped him over, checking his pulse. After a few seconds, she sighed in relief. "I told you to knock him out, not splatter him all over the forest. Where'd you get that strong, kid?"

Mayumi shrugged. "I dunno. I exercise."

She really didn't know. She'd been that strong for as long as she could remember.

Anko looked like she was about to say something, but instead she shook her head with a frustrated sigh and motioned for Mayumi to go over to her.

Mayumi obliged, walking over to Anko and sitting down. "So what do we do?"

Anko flicked through a series of hand seals and a short, flat, circular platform of rock erupted from the ground. She picked up Eiji and set him down in the center of the platform. Then, she pricked her finger with a needle she produced from her sleeve, and began writing things on Eiji's chest, around the mark. "I'll be done with this in a few minutes. When he wakes up, he should be fine."

"What is that thing anyways?" Mayumi asked, pointing to the mark on Eiji's chest as she walked over to them again.

Anko was preoccupied with whatever exactly it was she was doing to Eiji. "It's, uh, hey, what's your name again?"

"Mayumi. No clan name."

Anko began speeding up her writing. "Another orphan, huh? I was one of those. Didn't know my name, so I took the name Mitarashi about ten years back."

Mayumi cocked her head to the side. "What, like the squishy rice things with the syrupy stuff on 'em?"

Anko nodded. "Dango. Yeah, I like 'em, and it was as good a name as any. You ever think about taking a name, Mayumi?"

She had, but she didn't really want to. Mayumi worked just fine. "Not really. I'm fine being just Mayumi."

Anko paused a moment and looked over at her seriously. "A name is important, Mayumi. It's more than an identifier. It's who you are."

"So you decided to be named after dango?" Mayumi asked, raising an eyebrow.

Anko laughed quietly, resuming marking Eiji with her blood. "I like dango a _lot_ , Mayumi."

Mayumi smiled slightly. "I guess."

Anko pricked her other left index finger and began to write with it. "So, if you had to pick a name, what would you pick?"

Mayumi shrugged again, shaking her head. "I dunno."

Anko paused again to stop and think. A minute or so passed before she turned to look at Mayumi. "How about 'Chikara?'"

Chikara? Strength? Force?

Mayumi smiled. "I like that."

Anko grinned. "Good. Once you get through the Exams, drop by the Hokage's office. Someone there should be able to help you through the process of changing your name."

Mayumi appreciated Anko's confidence in their passing the exams. "Thanks. I think I'll do that."

Anko turned back to Eiji. "Great! Now I need to wrap this up before the kid wakes up and starts attacking us."

Mayumi nodded. Eiji's punches had hurt a lot more than she had expected them to. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

Mayumi and Anko were both silent as she completed whatever it was she was doing to Eiji. She placed eight kunai in a circle around Eiji and drew characters from each kunai down to Eiji's body. flicked through an incredibly long series of hand seals at incredible speed. "Curse Sealing Jutsu!"

Suddenly, all the characters on Eiji's body and the platform of earth beneath him flew up to the mark on his chest and condensed into a small circle that surrounded the mark.

Anko dusted her hands off. "Alright. Now, I'd recommend you get some sleep. He won't be hostile when he wakes up."

Mayumi rubbed her eyes tiredly. That tangle with Eiji had made her a lot more tired than she thought. "Yeah, okay." She yawned.

Anko nodded, smiling, before disappearing in a flash.

Then Mayumi was alone with Eiji. She walked over to him and picked him up, looking around. She spied a small hollow in a tree, about big enough for the two of them.

She carried him over to it and slid him in, crawling in immediately after. She laid down next to him.

Her eyes fluttered slightly. Eiji generated a lot of body heat, and heat tended to make her sleepy.

The last thought she had before she fell asleep was how funny it was that the first boy she slept with had just tried to kill her.

* * *

Ironically enough, this would become something of a pattern with the two of them much further down the line. One of said battles would result in a new archipelago in the Land of Water.

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry for the delay. Took me a long time to decide how this would happen to Eiji, and how it would get resolved. I also had tons of homework to do.

Speaking oh the Curse Mark, it spread so fast because it responds to chakra flow. Because of Eiji's disease (Uzumaki Syndrome for those who forgot) he's expending chakra 24/7, and lots of it. The seal just controls it and pours it back into him.

He's basically performing a justu all the time.

In regards to Mayumi not addressing her hair turning to stone, that's intentional. She's got the short-term memory of a small dog, which is to say, not much of one. Anko easily redirected her away from her question about Eiji's curse mark

Anyways, I've got a couple more character/fight themes for you guys. Actually, screw it, here are all of the themes I've decided on so far. It's been so long since I've linked anyone to these that I may as well stick 'em up here again.

As per usual, paste these in after the standard Youtube URL.

Himawari's Theme: watch?v=kmuvsVrdMbE

Ryuji's Theme: watch?v=3XyoUlf_wKM

Mayumi's Theme: watch?v=hd4H8u3YKKA

Eiji V. Orochimaru (even if it wasn't much of a fight): watch?v=YZY_Fps26lI

Eiji V. Mayumi: The Forest of Death (I picked this one deliberately because it doesn't sound super great by comparison to the other ones I have lined up for them): watch?v=iIhrco9PYjk

Lastly, I know who would be voicing Eiji. Not now, of course, but by the time he hits adulthood. In Japanese, he would be voiced by Takaya Kuroda. In English, he'd be voiced by Patrick Seitz in the same way he voiced Mondo Zappa from Killer is Dead. I understand that Kuroda does Kinkaku and Seitz does a bunch of other voices, but Seitz as Zappa doesn't sound much like any of the other characters he voices, if I remember correctly. Both sound vocally similar (in my opinion) to Itachi's voice actors Crispin Freeman and Hideo Ishikawa. He'll have the same bass/baritone (in Japanese/English respectively), but with slightly more of an amorous, ever so slightly friendlier tone. Like a much deeper, less angry-sounding Sasuke. If you're still confused at this point, listen to these song. Takaya Kuroda is the vocalist, of course, and it's exactly what I imagine Eiji to sound like as a grown-up (be warned: it's incredibly cheesy, probably Engrishy karaoke music):

MachineGun Kiss:/watch?v=Zeyg0mTx1a8

Baka Mitai: /watch?v=LPgxXyvj5PE

Similarly, expect Eiji singing to come up a few times once the preliminaries are over. He'll talk with his grandparents (Hiashi and his canonically unnamed wife who will be named Hime here) and they'll bring it up a lot.

Thanks for your patience,

 _~Essence of Clotheslining_


	18. Chapter 17: Preliminaries

A/N: Sorry about the wait. Just graduated from High School.

Here are Mayumi's Stats:

 **Mayumi**

Ninjutsu: 1.5

Taijutsu: 3

Genjutsu: 0.5

Intelligence: 1

Strength: 4

Speed: 1

Stamina: 3.5

Hand Seals: 2

Total: 17.5

Hobbies: Icha Icha, spying on men in the hot springs, breaking things, teasing Eiji, gardening.

Favorite Word: N/A

Favorite Food: Green Apples

Weaknesses: Highly aggressive, highly competitive, minimal situational awareness in combat and social contexts, lacking in traditional intelligence, no long-range combat skills.

Also, I decided on Eiji's theme, at least for Part 1: /watch?v=KkP9fOjQn0I

* * *

Chapter 17: Preliminaries

Eiji was in a black void. He saw nothing, heard nothing, smelled nothing, felt nothing.

Then, he was murdering the the ninja that had attacked him in the training ground again. He tried to stop himself, to pull his arm back so he couldn't drain the chakra from the woman, so he couldn't tear the ninja to shreds, so he couldn't kill them, but he simply couldn't.

They were all dead in what felt like an instant. Their blank, dead faces stared accusingly at him.

Then a, a familiar voice. _"Your first kill is never what you expect it to be, is it? Human life is so fragile, so weak, so easily snuffed out by so much as a mild breeze."_

A sigh. The dead bodies disappeared.

" _I don't need to tell you that, though, Eiji. You've killed. You know what it's like to take a life. I do too. I've taken many in my time. Such is the fate of the powerful: endless battle. Endless war. Endless killing. Your mother, your father, and your teacher demonstrate this fact."_

Eiji knew almost nothing about the man that had provided him with his Y chromosome, so little that Eiji didn't even consider him his father, and Eiji knew similarly little about his teacher's past, but he saw the effects that constant conflict had on a human being whenever his mother returned from a particularly nasty mission. Himawari was an extremely resilient woman, but she went to therapy regularly, and her eyes were almost always red and puffy, presumably from crying, afterwards.

" _Unless, however, you gain more power. After a certain point, after one reaches a certain threshold of power, conflict no longer actively seeks them out. One becomes a deterrent to conflict."_

That sounded nice, not having to look over his shoulder at all times. He could keep his Byakugan off and walk around without his tools. He wouldn't have to worry about his presence putting others in danger, because his very presence would ward it off.

" _If you want such power, prove to me you are worthy of it. Come out on top of the Chunin Exams. Defeat your opponents. Win. If you do so, I will find you and give you more power."_

Eiji found his voice. "Who are you?"

" _Orochimaru of the Sannin. And to clarify, this is not a dream. It's telepathic communication via the mark on your chest. Speaking of which, if you happen to run out of chakra, or you simply require more power, use it. Anko may have sealed it, but I taught her that seal, and it doesn't prohibit the mark's use completely. It feeds off of your chakra and your willpower. It's connected your your chakra pathway system. If you want to use the mark badly enough, then you should be able to. Try infusing your techniques with its power before activating it outright. Baby steps."_

And with that, Eiji woke up, sitting up and smacking his head against the inside of a tree hollow with a dull _thunk_. He groaned, rubbing his forehead.

He looked to his right. Mayumi lay there, snoring loudly. It was still dark outside, and the animals were quiet.

He looked down at his chest.

There was a circle around the mark.

A seal.

So that whole lecture had been real.

Huh.

Eiji decided to ask his mother who Orochimaru was.

He rubbed his eyes and lay back stupid little mark had almost cost his teammate her life, there was no way he was going to tap into even the slightest bit of its power unless it was a life or death situation. He had no control over it, and Eiji wasn't about to screw with a power he couldn't fully control. If anything, the Curse Mark had taken control of him. He wouldn't want to lose control at an inopportune moment and hurt anyone.

But...

But what if Orochimaru had been telling him the truth? What if he could control it? Whilethe application process had been indescribably painful, when it had activated and spread across his skin, he had felt a rush of power unlike anything he had ever felt before, and it had felt amazing; positively euphoric. Then again, maybe that communication was just a fever dream born from the mark, and not instructions on how to use the mark. Either way, he'd probably end up trying it out before the Exams were over.

Maybe a good middle ground was some kind of nonviolent incapacitation of his enemies? He had never dabbled in genjutsu before, but the Sharingan was supposedly very versatile when it came to illusions and trickery, and there were other means of defeating one's enemies without hurting them, Naruto's Sexy Jutsu being a glaring example. He'd already designed his own "sexy transformations," one male and one female, he just hadn't tried them out on anyone aside from his mirror yet. Perhaps if he got paired up with someone in the preliminaries or finals that had a wandering eye and a susceptibility to such things (like Mayumi, Sakura, or Naruto), he could try it then.

Eiji decided that the best course of action at present was just to go back to sleep. Now was not the time to think about any of this. He needed to rest and prepare for the rest of the day.

He closed his eyes and quickly fell asleep.

His normal nightmares resumed.

* * *

Mayumi awoke to the sounds of birds chirping and wind blowing through trees. She yawned, stretching out. That was the best sleep she'd had in weeks. She really needed to fight Eiji more often. She sat up, stretching out and immediately regretting it. Her tussle with Eiji had left her extremely sore. Speaking of which, he was still asleep on her right.

Wanting to avoid nonviolent physical contact with him as much as possible, she drowsily crawled out of the tree hollow and looked around. The sky was still largely dark, but there was enough light for her to see. She shivered. It may have been early June, but early mornings could still be cold, so much so that it even _smelled_ cold. Her eyes zeroed in on a crumpled heap just outside the tree hollow: Eiji's purple hoodie was laying on the ground.

Mayumi walked over to the crumpled hoodie, ground extremely cold beneath her bare, calloused feet, and picked it up, dusting it off. Had Anko dropped it off here? That was nice of her. She felt a few bulges in some of the pockets. She had always wondered what Eiji kept in his dumb oversized coats, and now she could find out.

She dug around in the right pocket first and grasped the contents. Removing her hand, she produced what looked like a black leather wallet. She opened it. The first thing she saw was his shinobi I.D card, which listed his date of birth (June 20th, Mayumi hadn't known that before now), eye color (left: black, right: white), hair color (black), height (five feet exactly), etcetera. The rest of the wallet contained what she had expected: a library card, pictures of Naruto, Sasuke, Himawari, and himself together, an Ichiraku Ramen punch card, and a disgusting amount of money; roughly three-hundred ryo. If that was what he kept in his wallet, Mayumi struggled to imagine exactly what kind of money his mother had access to. As a member of the Hyuuga Main House, it had to be a lot. Millions, if not more. That kind of money was unthinkable to a relatively poor orphan like her.

She returned the wallet to the correct pocket, money intact (she was not a thief by any stretch of the imagination) and removed what looked like a small leather-bound journal from an inside pocket.

She found herself getting excited. Could this be his diary? If it was, she could have even more ammunition to tease him with.

Upon opening it, she was rather disappointed. It wasn't a diary so much as a sketchbook and a journal of theorized jutsu. Just a bunch of complex analyses of chakra of different natures and a bunch of other nerdy garbage she couldn't understand. She flipped through the pages boredly and the drawings eventually changed from jutsu diagrams to sketchings of people. They were pencil sketchings, but they were incredibly detailed and some were almost photorealistic. All were extremely flattering. Among the people sketched were Himawari, Ryuji, Kazuko, Ino, Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, Himawari again, Hinata-

She stiffened when she saw hers. She was sitting on a rock and skipping stones across a stream. She remembered a day a few weeks back when she had spent her lunch break from learning a few different kinds of grappling techniques doing that. She thought Eiji had just fallen asleep in the shade of a tree nearby, but apparently, he had been drawing this. In terms of what she looked like in the drawing...

...did she really look like that? No, there was no way she was that perfect. Her face wasn't that sharp, her hair wasn't that smooth, and her muscles weren't that defined.

Her smile certainly didn't glow like that.

She didn't look in the mirror often, but she knew for certain that she didn't look a damn thing like that.

Not wanting to dwell on the sketching and its implications further, she closed the book up and placed it back in his coat. She felt around his left inside pocket, and found the Earth Scroll that they had entered the forest with.

She exhaled a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding in. That was one less thing off her chest. Now, all she and Eiji needed was a Heaven Scroll.

She dropped Eiji's jacket and toyed with the scroll, turning away from the crumpled garment. She wondered what was inside. A quick peek certainly couldn't hurt.

She opened it up.

Nothing.

She shook the scroll around, hoping something would happen.

Again, nothing.

She frowned and dropped the scroll on the ground. She had really hoped something cool would happen. Maybe Anko was lying?

"Must be defective or something..." she mumbled to herself.

She decided that now would be a good time to wake Eiji up. She turned around to walk back towards the tree hollow and gasped in surprise when she saw Eiji there, zipping up his hoodie.

She held her chest, inhaling and exhaling deeply. "Little warning, next time?"

"...sorry." He apologized quietly.

He tied his forehead protector around his head and pulled his hood up. Mayumi was confused momentarily about his bruises and cuts being gone and hair being even _longer_ than it had been the night prior, but then she remembered that Kazuko had taught him A-rank medical ninjutsu and that he had used his hair to grab her and suck the chakra out of her. He could probably grow it and shrink it however he wanted, and he had likely healed himself while she had been poking around in his sweatshirt.

He pointed at her arms, then at her torso. "Can I take care of those for you?"

She looked down at her arms, which she only now noticed were covered in long, thin scabs and cuts from where Eiji's hair had coiled itself around her. She hadn't noticed it at the time, adrenaline, probably. The rest of her body felt extremely sore, likely a result of Eiji's strikes the evening before.

Whatever that thing on his chest was, it made her as physically powerful as she was, easily.

A normal person would have been terrified by this idea, but Mayumi was excited by it, primarily because it meant she could now beat him up

She shook her head. She didn't want his chakra anywhere near hers. "I'm good for now. Kazuko can stitch me up when we get back to the tower."

He looked concerned. "Those might get infected if we don't disinfect and bandage them up, at least, and I can't imagine that black eye is very comfortable."

Then she felt a prickling in her arms. It quickly turned to very intense itching. She felt a very strong urge to rip the scabs from her arms. Then her face started to throb.

Eiji frowned and walked closer to her. "This'll only take a second."

Apparently, her face had revealed her intense discomfort. She grumbled, but didn't argue further.

He clapped his hands together and they began to glow green. He carefully and slowly drew his fingers along her assorted cuts, knitting the flesh back together and making the itching disappear. He traced his fingers along her scabbed-over knuckles and placed his palm on every bruise he could find. His hands were very warm. Within thirty seconds, she was completely healed.

She examined her arms. "That was quick."

Eiji nodded. "Let me know if-"

*POOF*

Mayumi turned around and saw an explosion of smoke come from the scroll.

Eiji groaned quietly. "Mayumi, please tell me why exactly did you think it was a good idea to open the scroll?"

Mayumi was about to reply with what she was sure was an insult worthy of an award, when the smoke cleared.

A very pissed off-looking Ebisu stood there, tying his bandana on. "It's five in the morning, you nitwits! You couldn't even wait until-"

Ebisu paused when he saw Mayumi.

Then he grinned. "Ah, it seems that fate wanted a rematch!"

Eiji cocked his head to the side. "Ebisu-sensei? Why are you here?"

Ebisu chuckled dramatically, pushing up his glasses. "I, dear boy, am hear to punish you for opening your scroll! Prepare yourselves!"

Mayumi laughed. Ebisu was a joke. "Are you fuckin' serious? I nearly killed you when I graduated from the academy!"

Ebisu turned beet red. "Insolent child! You caught me by surprise then, but you shall not defeat me again!"

He flicked through some hand seals. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

Suddenly, the clearing they were in was filled with a dozen or so Ebisus.

Ebisu?

Ebisi?

Fuck it, the pluralization of "Ebisu" didn't matter.

Mayumi curled her hands into fists. She was going to enjoy shattering the jaw of each and every one.

Eiji wove a few hand seals. "Sorry about this, Ebisu-sensei."

He exploded in a puff of smoke.

When the smoke cleared, Mayumi's jaw went slack.

* * *

Kazuko awoke to the feeling of a hand on her shoulder. Upon opening her eyes, quite a task right now, she saw that it was Kiba. Hinata was standing behind him.

"Kiba?" She yawned, reaching under her glasses to rub her eyes.

He grinned, shaking around two scrolls. "Your weird genjutsu trap got us a few Earth Scrolls!"

She had set up that trap last night. Anyone that stepped on a seal on the ground would be trapped in a genjutsu for six hours, at the end of which, they would be put to sleep. The Genjutsu itself consisted of being lectured by a parrot on the properties of earth-natured chakra in one of the Ninja Academy's classrooms.

It was exactly as obnoxious and boring as it sounded.

It had also apparently been quite productive.

She smiled sleepily. "Good."

She drowsily crawled out of her sleeping bag (which had been sealed into the inside of her coat, among dozens of other tools), and stood up, stretching out. "You've got one of each now, right?"

Kiba nodded. "Yeah. We also swiped an extra Heaven Scroll from some chumps from the Hidden Rain. You want it?"

She would want it if she hadn't already received a Heaven Scroll from a Genin from the Kusagakure: a sweet man with a very unique biology named Kimimaro. He had been suffering from some strange kind of chakra stagnation syndrome as a result of a massive amount of foreign, highly toxic chakra sealed inside him by way of a seal on his manubrium. Normally, full-body chakra stagnation syndrome would kill someone after a few months of immense pain, but Kimimaro had incredible regenerative abilities that had kept him alive, if not well. It took her a little while to figure out how to remove it, but she had managed to channel it into a seal she had created on the ground by using herself as a conduit. An unorthodox solution, yes, but it fixed the problem. As thanks, he had given her his Heaven Scroll.

She shook her head. "No thank you. We've already got one."

Kiba shrugged, discarding the extra Heaven Scroll over his shoulder. "Suit yourself."

Shino approached Kiba's side. "My bug found Mayumi. They're nearly here."

Shino had "bugged" Mayumi? That didn't really matter, their teams were allied, but it still left something of a bad taste in her mouth, for some reason.

Kiba stuffed the Earth Scroll in his pocket, then sniffed the air. "Yeah, she's almost-"

Then Mayumi landed on the ground in front of the small group, followed by Eiji. Mayumi had Ebisu slung over her shoulder.

"-here." Kiba finished.

"Good morning." Eiji greeted calmly.

Kazuko poked the man Mayumi was carrying. "Is that Ebisu?"

"Mayumi opened our scroll. It summoned him to attack us." Eiji explained.

Kazuko's eyes widened. "And you beat him?"

He shrugged. "Sort of. I knocked him out."

Eiji and Mayumi were really on entirely different levels from the rest of the Genin if they had defeated Ebisu. He may have been a bit strange, but he was still a force to be reckoned with.

Wait a minute. "Does that mean we need another Earth Scroll?" Kazuko asked her teammates.

Eiji sighed tiredly. "I'm afraid so."

Kiba casually tossed Eiji an Earth Scroll. "We got you covered."

Eiji looked down at the scroll in his hands, then looked back up at Kiba. "Thank you, Kiba."

Mayumi grinned and smacked Kiba's back with her free hand, producing a loud smacking sound. "Thanks, man!"

Kiba could not respond immediately, as the clap on the back had sent him to the ground. He stood up, groaning. "Ow..."

Mayumi smirked. "Oh, suck it up."

They were silent for precisely three seconds.

Shino broke the silence. "If we all have the required scrolls, I suggest we enter the building."

Mayumi nodded. "Agreed."

All six Genin and one unconscious specialized Jounin entered the building, Team 9 walking towards the door designated for them and Team 8 doing the same. Mayumi dumped Ebisu in what looked like a trash bin before kicking the doors open (and cracking the walls) and leading Eiji and Kazuko inside the building. The doors creaked shut behind them, and they looked around the room, which basically amounted to a large, tiled box. Kazuko spied an engraving on the wall.

Mayumi apparently saw it too. "Can either of you read that? Too scuffed up for me to read."

Kazuko couldn't either, but Eiji probably could. "Eiji, would you mind?"

Eiji nodded and pulled back his hood and his forehead protector. Kazuko took a brief moment to appreciate just how well-structured his face was and how glossy his hair was. Normally, his hair was tucked into his hood and his face was concealed by his forehead protector and shadows produced by his hood. Seeing his face was a rarity.

"If qualities of Heaven are what you desire, acquire wisdom to take your mind higher. If Earthly qualities are what you lack, then train your body and prepare to attack. When Heaven and Earth are opened together, the perilous path..."

He tied his forehead protector back on and pulled his hood back up. "It goes on for a while, but I think it's telling us to open the scrolls now."

"What, is it gonna summon another idiot to try and beat us up?" Mayumi asked, cracking her knuckles.

Kazuko tossed Eiji the Heaven scroll, and he opened them up, crossing them on the floor. "I guess we'll find out. Get ready to fight."

The scrolls did nothing for a few seconds, then exploded in smoke.

Kazuko wondered exactly who was going to show up.

When the smoke cleared, a woman was standing in the center of the crossed scrolls. She was tall and slender, and appeared to be in her late twenties, perhaps her early thirties. She had fair skin and incredibly long, spiky brown hair that fell down past her waist. Her bangs covered up one eye, but the other remained visible, and it was a vibrant green color. She wore a blue strapless dress over mesh armor and wore what looked like steel shinguards, indicating a taijutsu style focused on kicks.

Her lips, colored blue by what Kazuko was certain was an extremely expensive lipstick, formed a wry smile. She focused on Eiji. "It's been a while, Eiji. Do you remember me?"

Eiji looked completely lost. He shook his head. "I, uh, I'm sorry, I don't."

The woman strutted over to Eiji and crouched down, pulling back his hood and removing his forehead protector. "My, my, you look just like your mother. Well, you look a great deal like your father too, but I never met him, only wanted posters."

Eiji's father was a criminal? And not only was he a criminal, he was notorious enough for multiple villages to have bounties on him? She hadn't known that before.

Mayumi frowned and stomped her foot indignantly, cracking the floor. "Hey, lady, you haven't told us who you are yet! The last jerk that one of those scroll summoned tried to beat us up! Why should we trust you?"

The woman stood up and gave her a sidelong glance. "Well, for one, that was because you opened your scroll early. I'm here to congratulate you on your passing the second phase of the exams."

Mayumi folded her arms in a huff.

The woman turned back to Eiji and placed her hand on his head. "Second, I'm the Mizukage, Mei Terumi. You would do well to address me as such, young one. Lady Mizukage, Lady Mei Terumi, or just Lady Terumi would all do just fine."

Kazuko paled.

This was the head of a village.

This was the Mizukage.

 _ **The Mizukage**_.

"Lastly," she said, rubbing Eiji's head fondly, "even if I was supposed to attack you, I probably wouldn't. It wouldn't do to attack my godson, now would it? Himawari would throw a fit."

Kazuko felt faint.

The Mizukage was Eiji's godmother.

Eiji looked up at her, seemingly remembering something now. "Mei?"

Mei smiled. "Oh, so you remember me now? You were so tiny when I saw you last. Couldn't have been more than a few years old."

Kazuko managed to form a sentence. "Pardon my teammate's behavior, Lady Mizukage, but, erhm, why are you here? I thought one of the proctors or a Chunin was supposed to greet us after the exams."

Mei sighed. "Well, Ebisu was _supposed_ to, but my godson rendered him, heh, _unable_ to fight, and quite creatively too."

Eiji had defeated a Specialized Jounin.

Kazuko was certain that he was out of her league by a mile now.

Mei continued, looking down at Eiji. "And since this one's mother just finished getting me back here safe and sound for the Chunin Exams, and she's busy filling out paperwork right now, I figured I'd do her a favor and greet her little boy at the door for her." She explained affectionately.

Eiji had turned beet red, and had deactivated his Byakugan. Kazuko knew that he had seen almost everyone naked before, herself included, and had long since come to terms with this, but she still appreciated his courtesy.

Mayumi looked extremely frustrated, probably because punching this woman would be classified as an attempted assassination, the penalty for which was death, and not simply assault, the penalty for which was either a fine or a few months of jail time.

Mei took her hand off Eiji's forehead and the latter immediately attempted to hide his reddened face with his hood and forehead protector, but before he could do so, Mei put her hand back on his head. She shook her head. "Nope. That floppy hood and that forehead protector are staying off as long as I'm here. You're a nice-looking kid, Eiji, and you need to learn to show that off."

Eiji made a noise that would best be described as pitiful.

Mayumi snickered cruelly.

Mei snapped her fingers in Mayumi's direction, a stern look on her face. "No."

Mayumi grumbled something that sounded suspiciously close to "bimbo."

Fortunately for Mayumi, Mei appeared to ignore that comment. She looked down at Eiji. "Well, if we're done here, let's get you up front. The Hokage's going to address all the Genin that made it here."

Eiji nodded awkwardly. "O-okay…"

She crouched back down and pinched his cheek again. "Relax. I'm sure you'll be fine."

She kissed Eiji's cheek affectionately, leaving a blue lipstick kiss on his cheek.

Eiji promptly fell to the floor, eyes unfocused and face red as a tomato.

Mei pressed her lips together, furrowing her eyebrows in concern. "Whoops.

Mei looked at Kazuko and Mayumi. "Do either of you know how-"

Eiji handsprung back to his feet, eyes wild and hands curled into fists, ready to attack. When he saw he was in the same place and not in any danger, he calmed down.

"...never mind. Follow me." Mei commanded, motioning for the three of them to follow her.

Kazuko had learned a great deal of extremely important information in a very short period of time, and she wasn't entirely sure what to do with it yet, so she decided instead to temporarily do nothing with it and think about it later.

* * *

Mei hadn't been entirely sure what to expect from her godson, but it certainly wasn't this little nervous creature standing at her side. On their way to the village, Himawari had gushed about him and her other two adopted kids, Naruto and Sasuke, almost nonstop. Mei thought she had a good idea of what the three of them were like, but she hadn't expected Eiji's reaction to her to be nearly as exaggerated as it was. That boy needed help with basic human interaction and he needed it badly.

Still, it was great to see him again. The two had first met when Himawari had been assigned as her bodyguard during her first trip to Konoha after taking power in Kiri. Himawari hadn't been able to find a place for Eiji to stay, so he had just come along with them. He had been incredibly well-behaved for a two or three-year-old boy, sitting patiently and quietly through meeting after meeting, occasionally asking his mother a question in about what was happening in a fully-formed, multisyllabic vocabulary.

In hindsight, that had sealed the deal for her before Himawari had even asked. Himawari had asked her to be his godmother after she had a falling out with some other woman near the end of her stay in Konoha, and after seeing how incredibly adorably bizarre Eiji was, Mei couldn't even consider saying no. While it had been a bit of a hassle for both villages to work out the legal document required to make it so, Mei thought it was worth it.

She smiled as she looked down at her godson. He certainly hadn't gotten any less adorable in the past several years. He'd aged quite well, looking well beyond his mere ten years. If she didn't know better, she'd peg him for a twelve-year-old, maybe even a thirteen-year-old.

Mei opened up the door of her godson and his team. She patted him on the head ash he passed through the doorframe. "Good luck!"

Eiji mumbled something that sounded like "thanks," sounding quite nervous. The silver-haired girl bowed her head deeply as she followed Eiji, and the white-haired girl just stuck out her tongue rudely.

Dear oh dear. This one had a crush on Eiji. Mei wasn't really surprised, Eiji was by far the best-looking Genin she'd ever seen (no surprise, given his parentage).

Mei folded her arms and shifted her weight to her left leg. "I doubt Eiji will ever show interest in you if you continue to act like that, young lady."

The girl huffed indignantly and stormed off to join the crowd of other Genin.

Mei smiled, walking across the room and standing behind the Hokage and next to Ryuji Inazuma, Eiji's teacher. Ryuji had been an invaluable asset to her taking power in Kirigakure after Yagura had died and left a vacuum that hundreds of others sought to fill. Konoha had recognized Mei's desire for peace and shared prosperity and sent their most powerful shinobi to help make it happen.

Mei had not been disappointed with Ryuji's performance, and they still hired him on occasion, whenever a large enough group of Rogue Ninja showed up and began creating problems.

He was also just a nice guy that didn't focus on her chest when he spoke with her, which was another reason Mei liked to see him and engage with him.

The Hokage began lecturing the Genin about the Exams as Mei leaned over to Ryuji and whispered in his ear, standing on her toes. "Haven't seen you in a while, Ryuji. Are you well?"

He frowned. "My own student ignored my orders to not participate in the exams, his subversion of my authority was supported by the Third Hokage, got attacked by one of the Sannin, and nearly killed one of my other students. How do ya _think_ I'm doin', Mei?"

Mei, as well as all the other Jounin-Teachers and proctors of the exams, had been informed by Anko Mitarashi of Eiji Hyuuga's and Sasuke Uchiha's being attacked and branded by Orochimaru.

Speaking of which, the legendary shinobi in question was _in the room with them_ , standing up on a balcony opposite the one the Genin would be standing/sitting in after the Lord Third was done lecturing them. He was focused intently on Sasuke.

Mei fully understood the risks involved with coming here, but she also understood what would happen if Orochimaru tried anything.

Orochimaru was a shinobi of incredible power, and he had a few plants among the Genin, but if he tried something, he would have to answer to Mei Terumi (the Fifth Mizukage), Kakashi Hatake (the Copy Ninja), Anko Mitarashi (the Viper of Konoha), Might Guy (the Green Beast), Asuma Sarutobi (one of the Twelve Guardian Ninja and son of the Third Hokage), Kurenai Yuuhi (The Genjutsu Mistress), Hiruzen Sarutobi (the Third Hokage and Patriarch of the Sarutobi Clan), and Ryuji Inazuma (The Dragon of Kumo and Terror of the Land of Lightning), and dozens of other Genin in the room.

And that was only within the first few seconds. Utakata (who was currently getting their luggage into their hotel room, the gentleman), Himawari, and the other parents of the Konoha Genin would doubtlessly show up within a minute or less of his attack.

In short, if he were to attack, he and his plants among the Genin would immediately be melted, boiled alive, electrocuted, burnt to cinders, drowned, frozen solid, attacked by snakes, poisoned, cut to hamburger, vaporized, and pounded into oblivion all at once.

And that would all be part of Kurenai's genjutsu, to say nothing of what would happen to them after the genjutsu wore off.

Needless to say, attacking now would be a hilariously poor idea. He most most likely just here to observe how Eiji and Sasuke were handling their marks and how they would handle their matches, and from Mei's perspective, there was no reason to start a fight unless he did.

"Eiji's seal appears to be holding up." Mei observed, looking on at Eiji, who had tied his forehead protector back on and pulled his hood back up. Humorously enough, many of the female Genin within the crowd seemed to have noticed the lipstick kiss on his cheek, and were searching around angrily for its source, glaring at the other girls that were doing the same.

"That seal runs on the user's willpower. If he wants to use it, then he'll end up using. That kid's willful as all get out; lot more like his mom than he looks."

"Do you think he'll be able to control it?"

"He's relatively cool under pressure and has minimal issues controlling lightning chakra, and that was something even I had to work on as a kid. He'll be fine controlling the seal. I'm worried about him being able to control himself."

Mei blinked. "What do you mean by that?"

Ryuji sighed, smoothing his platinum-blonde hair back. "Eiji and Sasuke got attacked a few months ago by some Rogue Ninja; probably Orochimaru's men. Thirteen of 'em, I think."

This was new. Himawari hadn't told Mei about this. "What happened, and what do you mean, you 'think?'"

"When Eiji was done with 'em, we couldn't identify them. One of them had their arm torn clean off, and a few had the chakra completely drained from their bodies. Eiji was covered in blood and gore. If the kid feels threatened, he'll let loose and probably end up killing the person he's fighting."

Mei paled slightly. That explained the apparent agoraphobia, but it also led her to question exactly what abilities the boy had up his sleeve. Ryuji would probably know.

"Say, Ryuji, how far along would you say Eiji is in his training?"

Ryuji idly cracked his knuckles loudly, producing noises not entirely dissimilar to lightning strikes. "He's mastered the Gentle Fist, he's got a good understanding of my styles of taijutsu, he's mastered the Uchiha Clan's fireball jutsu and most all of its variants, he's in great physical condition, and he's copied the clan-specific jutsu from a ton of other clans."

Mei raised both eyebrows, eyes themselves widening. "And didn't you say at that briefing earlier that you thought he wasn't ready? Sounds a bit too focused on close-range attacks, but otherwise, he sounds ready."

Ryuji shook his head. "He's not. He's moving too fast; advancing too quickly. He hasn't lost in a fight against his peers. That kind of power at such a young age, untempered by loss and failure, either goes to your head or isolates you from your friends and family."

"Sounds like you're speaking from experience." Mei said, idly noticing that Hayate Gekko had taken over for the Lord Third Hokage.

Ryuji nodded almost regretfully. "I am. That happened to me back in Kumo. Kicked everyone's ass all the time. Never lost once. Got too strong, and I got the idea that my parents were stifling me. Joined the local crime family, the Go-Ryu Clan. I don't want Eiji goin' down to Tanzaku Town to sign up with whoever the top dog there is at the time. I mean, inevitably, it's his choice, but he's too sweet for a life like that. I also don't want Akiyama kicking his teeth in."

Mei was confused. That was a name she hadn't heard before. "Akiyama?"

Ryuji waved his hand dismissively. "Oh yeah, you've never met him. A moneylender I used to know. Nice guy. Smokes a lot. Other loan sharks in the area don't like him much, probably 'cause he's the only legitimate one in the place. Doesn't matter. The point is-"

Ryuji stopped midsentence, eyes darting up to the board that would announce the matches.

Mei looked up at the board in question.

 _EIJI HYUUGA VS DOSU KINUTA_

Well, at least they weren't wasting any time in getting to the good ones. She had no idea who Dosu Kinuta was, but she was more excited than she ought to be to see Eiji demonstrate his abilities.

* * *

Eiji quietly walked down the steps to the arena, mind racing as Naruto and a few others shouted words of encouragement at him. He wasn't particularly nervous; controlled fights didn't scare him. Sure, lethal force was permitted, but Eiji had proven himself on multiple occasions to be infuriatingly difficult to hurt, and it was a fight he knew was coming.

On a similar note, his opponent was one of the Genin that had attacked him before the written exam. His name was Dosu, and he appeared to be healing up nicely after Eiji had swiftly and soundly put his attempted ambush down, having replaced his bloodied bandages and likely found assistance at one of the walk-in clinics run by Kazuko's extended family. Eiji had previously pitied the man and his three teammates, but after seeing their headbands and remembering what Orochimaru had told him in his dream, he understood their purpose: they were Orochimaru's, and they were here to test him, likely Sasuke as well.

As Eiji approached Dosu, he subtly shifted his forehead protector to examine him with his Byakugan. His chakra looked well and truly average, and he was in relatively good physical condition. His strange gauntlet had been repaired since Eiji had broken it, so that meant his first order of business was to break it again. Eiji had no idea what it was or what it did, but his Byakugan told him that it was vibrating ever so slightly, not that that really told him what it did.

Eiji stopped about seven feet away from Dosu.

He slid into a fighting stance. "I'm going to enjoy this, runt. You made my team and I look like a bunch of jackasses. Unless you forfeit now, you are going to die here."

Eiji did not respond. He wasn't scared of this man. Eiji had beaten him once, he could do it again.

Hayate Gekko, the proctor, waved a flag, initiating the fight.

Immediately after he did, Eiji's ears started to throb. The world started to shake and Eiji felt extremely nauseous. His vision blurred. He fell to his knees, silently gritting his teeth. What was happening?

Dosu approached him and tapped his gauntlet, send another wave of nausea and dizziness through Eiji's body. "Like my gauntlet? Sends vibrations through the air and finds the resonant frequency of objects, like so."

He grabbed Eiji's left arm, and the world exploded in pain as he felt his arm break. Eiji screamed, grabbing at his arm.

"Kick his ass, Eiji! Come on!" Mayumi shouted.

"Yeah, Eiji! Punch him in his stupid face!"

Eiji limply swung at Dosu with his good arm, who deftly dodged out of the way.

Dosu tapped his gauntlet again, and with another wave of pain, Eiji could no longer hear anything.

Dosu looked like he was saying something, but Eiji could legitimately care less what it was. He was in so much pain right now, he could barely think.

Then he remembered what Orochimaru had told him about infusing his techniques with the mark's power. He didn't want to use the whole thing right now, it would probably get him disqualified, but perhaps he could suck some power from it?

While Dosu was probably bragging to him about how awesome his gauntlet was, Eiji reached up to the mark on his chest and began to suck power from it. He felt instantly revitalized, and his arm felt better. He still couldn't hear, and the world still wobbled, but not in a painful or nauseating way, more like the floor was just tilting and bouncing around.

More than anything else, however, he felt an overwhelming rage in Dosu's general direction. He stood up, and Dosu's expression, minimal as it was, turned from smugness to frustration.

Eiji slid into a fighting stance.

Dosu did the same, seemingly understanding that this was to be a fight, not simply a win for him.

The two Genin flew at each other.

Dosu threw a few rapid-fire punches at Eiji, finishing with a roundhouse kick, all of which Eiji ducked under or weaved around. Eiji hadn't fought a kickboxer before, and those moves would be valuable if he ever fought Rock Lee without the Gentle Fist, so he copied them with his Sharingan.

Dosu threw some more punches and kicks at Eiji, who backflipped about twenty feet back. Dosu punched the ground with his armored arm and shook the ground, shattering some of the tiling. He lifted up a particularly large piece of the floor with what Eiji's eyes told him was chakra-enhanced strength and threw it at Eiji. Eiji blasted it with a wave of chakra from his palm and deflected it, sprinting at Dosu. He aimed some rapid-fire Gentle Fist strikes at Dosu, but he managed to block them with his gauntlet.

If Dosu could block Gentle Fist strikes with that thing, then that gauntlet was becoming a real problem. Now, normally, Eiji would just locate the straps that attached it to Dosu and target them before removing the gauntlet and disabling him with the Gentle Fist, but right now, he really wanted to cause Dosu immense amounts of pain.

Then Eiji had an idea.

The Vacuum Palm involved expelling chakra from one's palm, and resulted in blasting one's target backwards. Perhaps he could use that same ability to expel chakra from effectively anywhere in the body to strengthen normal taijutsu? That could work, certainly.

As Dosu threw another punch at Eiji, again with his armored arm, and Eiji caught it, gripping Dosu's wrist with his right hand and his bicep with his left. He swiftly and forcefully applied his knee, having been charged with chakra, to Dosu's elbow, the latter flinching in pain before Eiji roared and aimed a chakra-charged punch that would best be described as "savage" at Dosu's face. Dosu was sent flying about thirty feet backwards, flipping head over heel before skidding to a halt.

Eiji panted heavily as Dosu shakily returned to his feet, clutching a shattered elbow. Eiji sprinted at him and focused his chakra in his arm, uppercutting Dosu with such force that he was launched into the air.

Now it was time to test his new use of his uniquely Hyuuga ability.

He expelled chakra from his elbow, propelling his left fist forward at incredible speed and striking Dosu in the ribcage. He then expelled chakra from his fist, keeping Dosu aloft and pushing his fist back to his side. He repeated the procedure with his right arm, then his left again, then his right, then his left a third time. He repeated this about fifty times within four seconds, fists becoming a blur even to Eiji. Finally, Eiji leapt into the air with a backflip, connecting his foot with Dosu's chin and sending him further into the air.

Now it was time to finish him off.

Neither Dosu nor his team would even look at him or anyone he cared about the wrong way after this.

Eiji landed back on his feet, then focused his chakra in his feet, launching himself up to the ceiling. Focusing his chakra in his feet again, he propelled himself from the ceiling and into Dosu. The two impacted the ground with enough force to create a small crater, kicking up a torrent of dust.

Eiji panted heavily. That maneuver had taken a lot out of him, but he had one more thing to do.

Looking down at Dosu, he rubbed his hands together and charged them with medical chakra. He moved his hands over Dosu's limp form, righting broken, crooked, and shattered bones and re-inflating collapsed organs, seeing through Dosu's clothing and skin with his Byakugan.

Eiji stopped after about twenty seconds. He'd live, but the road to recovery would be long and hard.

Eiji panted again, vision blurring. He had used too much chakra.

He looked over tiredly at Hayate Gekko, whose face was the absolute epitome of surprise. He said something, but Eiji still couldn't hear, so Eiji tapped his ear and shrugged, hopefully communicating as such.

Hayate stood there for a moment with a confused expression, before realization dawned on his face. He gave Eiji an enthusiastic thumbs-up, coughing into his other hand.

Eiji knew he had won, he just needed confirmation of it from the proctor.

He gave Hayate a thumbs up in response, then promptly passed out, collapsing on top of Dosu.

* * *

Mayumi stared at the board.

Unlike nearly every single other person in the arena, Mayumi wasn't surprised at what she had just seen. She wasn't screeching in enthusiasm like Naruto was, she wasn't squealing like Ino or Karin were, and she certainly wasn't on the verge of panicking like the two other Sound ninja clearly were.

Right now, she was just focused on the board. She had been wanting to fight Eiji so she could feel that exhilaration again, but now she was stuck with some chump that she could knock out in seconds.

Names flashed across the board. She was hoping for Gaara, Rock Lee, Naruto, Kiba, or Neji.

Especially Neji, the smug jerk.

Normally, she would want to beat up Sasuke the most, but Sasuke wasn't in good enough shape to validate a beatdown from her. It would be a worthless, meaningless victory.

The names stopped changing.

Mayumi groaned.

 _MAYUMI OF KONOHAGAKURE VS KARIN OF KUSAGAKURE_

Great. So she was fighting the girl that looked like she had come to orgasm at the end of Eiji's fight.

Ugh.

Mayumi looked over at the Kusa kunoichi in question, expression almost bored.

Karin looked back, seemingly similarly disappointed.

Mayumi chuckled darkly. This girl had no idea what she was in for.

Mayumi vaulted over the guardrail and landed in the arena, cracking the floor with her heels for emphasis.

She walked over to the center of the room and looked up at Karin. "Well, come on, then. I gotta beat the tar outta you so I can get to the finals."

Karin frowned indignantly and gracefully flipped over the guardrail, walking to the center of the arena to face Mayumi. "You want to lose that badly? Fine!"

Hayate Gekko waved the flag, initiating the fight.

Immediately afterwards, massive, glowing chains shot out from Karin's back and coiled around Mayumi tightly.

Mayumi had seen some strange jutsu before. She had seen Kakashi's talking dogs, she had seen Ryuji's lightning dragons, and she had seen the mark on Eiji's chest.

Still, she truly had not expected that.

She felt her energy begin to drain, though not nearly as quickly as it had when Eiji had tried to suck the chakra from her. Unlike Eiji's hair, however, the chains did not turn to stone.

Karin drew a kunai from her belt and walked up to Mayumi, holding it to her throat. "Forefeit." She commanded.

"I couldn't hear you. Could you come a little closer?"Mayumi growled.

Karin exhaled through her nose in annoyance and leaned forward. "Forfe-"

Idiot.

Mayumi delivered a stinging headbutt to Karin's nose and used Karin's lapse in concentration to wriggle free from the chains.

Karin reeled backwards, clutching her nose.

Mayumi grabbed the chains and swung them with all her might, whipping Karin into the air. She swung Karin around in a circle three times before slamming her down back onto the ground, cracking the floor.

Mayumi walked over to Karin and looked down at her. Her chest was still rising and falling, so she was still alive, at least. She had a hell of a bump on her head, though.

Mayumi kicked Karin's arm, who let out a pained groan in response.

Mayumi turned her head and looked at Hayate Gekko. "Can we be done now? I'm getting hungry."

Hayate stood there dumbly for a moment.

Mayumi folded her arms. "We don't got all day, buddy."

Hayate shook his head, seemingly clearing his head. "And the winner is: Mayumi of Konohagakure."

Ryuji clapped for her. "Great job, Mayumi! Good thinking with the headbutt, just try and see your opponent's attack coming next time."

Mayumi grinned as Naruto began cheering again. Kazuko clapped for her as well, though she was doing so in a much less loud and flamboyant way. Even Sasuke looked mildly impressed.

She walked back over to the guardrail and leapt back up to where she had been standing, turning around and leaning back over the guardrail. She watched medical ninja carry Karin away to the infirmary.

If everyone but Eiji was _this_ weak, then she would have no problem in the finals.

* * *

Mei wasn't surprised when Kabuto Yakushi surrendered to Kazuko Hoki. In his place, after seeing the performance of the other two members of her team, she probably would have done the same thing. Still, she would expect nothing less from the Dragon of Kumo's students. The man was practically a jinchuuriki in terms of pure destructive capabilities, and he had been placed in charge of the first Hyuuga/Uchiha hybrid in history and a girl that, after Mei had seen her strength, was very clearly the daughter of Tsunade Senju and Jiraiya of the Sannin. The three of them were certainly monstrously powerful already, to say nothing of what they would be like when they got to Jounin. Mei would even put money on Eiji hitting Jounin before he turned fifteen.

Mei tapped Ryuji's shoulder. He looked away from some member of the Hyuuga Branch House beating the snot out of Himawari's little sister and down at her. "Yeah?"

"What have you been teaching those kids?"

"Honestly, it's mostly them; Orochimaru in Eiji's case." He said modestly, raising his hands.

"I don't believe you." Mei said, digging for information.

"Well, Mei, you know me. I'm really good at two things: hitting things and cutting things. Once they're all at Chunin, then I'll teach 'em all how to cut things, but for now, I've been teaching them how to hit things." He admitted.

Ah, Ryuji. Always concise. If he had been teaching them his signature taijutsu style, then Dosu and Karin had gotten off lucky.

Well, not Dosu, but he had still gotten off easier than if Eiji had fought like Ryuji did.

When Ryuji hit things, they tended to explode.

A beat.

An idea.

"Say, Ryuji?" Mei said, looking back up at Ryuji.

"Hm?"

"If Eiji is promoted to Chunin, what would you say to him spending a few years over in Kiri?"

Ryuji thought for a moment, closing his eyes and breathing deeply with his massive arms folded across his chest.

After a minute or so, he opened his eyes, exhaling. "I'd say that so long as he has a place to stay and someone to keep him on the straight and narrow, then I'm all for it."

Mei smiled. "Great!"

"Just bring it up with Himawari first. I'm sure she'll be alright with it, but I once tried to bring Eiji a mile or so out of the village once and she was not very happy with me."

Mei sighed. "That sounds like her. What did she-"

Before Mei could finish, the wall exploded.

"THAT'S MY SISTER, YOU LITTLE FUCK"

"Uh oh. Someone's in trouble." Ryuji deadpanned.

Mei watched Himawari storm through the hole in the wall and grab the Branch House member by his ponytail.

Then the screaming started.

Mei grimaced. "Yeesh. No kidding."

* * *

A/N:

Neji Hyuuga.

Cause of Death: Angry older sister.

In all seriousness, Neiji'll be alright. He'll be scared shitless of Himawari, but he'll be fine.

Music for this chapter:

Eiji V. Dosu: /watch?v=MNXqIJAlyj4


	19. Chapter 18: The Toad Sage

**A/N:** Himawari returns in this chapter, and we get to see her interactions with Naruto a bit more. She's known him for a good while now, around half his life, so she knows how to get him to do things. She also takes a much softer approach with anyone she's trying to teach something than we see with people like Ebisu or Kakashi, and that's what works with Naruto. He needs discipline, certainly, but helping him instead of scolding him, or at least helping him more than scolding him is what I feel would really move him along.

Writing out all of the Chunin Exam matches would have taken a while, so here are all the matches. The winners are written in bold print.

 _ **Eiji Hyuuga**_ _VS Dosu Kinuta_

 _ **Mayumi**_ _VS Karin_

 _ **Shigeri**_ _VS Aito (Karin's teammates)_

 _ **Sasuke Uchiha**_ _VS Yoroi Akado_

 _Zaku Abumi VS_ _ **Shino Aburame**_

 _Misumi Tsurugi VS_ _ **Kankuro**_

 _Sakura Haruno_ _VS Ino Yamanaka (Double Knockout)_

 _Tenten VS_ _ **Temari**_

 _ **Shikamaru Nara**_ _VS Kin Tsuchi_

 _ **Naruto Uzumaki**_ _VS Kiba Inuzuka_

 _ **Kazuko Hoki**_ _VS Kabuto Yakushi_

 _Hinata Hyuuga VS_ _ **Neji Hyuuga**_

 _ **Gaara**_ _VS Rock Lee_

EXTRA MATCH (Choji's opponent was randomly selected from Genin that had won a match already): _**Mayumi**_ _VS Choji Akimichi_ (Choji, intelligently, surrendered immediately.)

In Japanese, Eiji's name is written like this: 英治. You may remember that Itachi chose this name.

Mayumi's name is written like this: 真優美. The people at Konoha Orphanage named her this.

WARNING: Kinda-sorta-not-explicitly-described pre-adult nudity in this one. No sex, just the Hot Springs.

* * *

Chapter 18: The Toad Sage

(Or, the chapter in which lots of Yakuza/Ryu ga Gotoku characters are referenced)

Himawari sat in the waiting room of Konoha Hospital, impatiently tapping her foot. Her stomach was in knots and her chest hurt like mad, both of which were time-proven manifestations of anxiety for her. Naruto sat in the chair next to hers, anxiously trying to concentrate on _The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi_. She was nervous, naturally, but she wasn't allowed to go see Eiji or Sasuke. She wasn't being told why, and she was extremely mad about that, but she didn't take it out on the receptionists, as one might expect of a firebrand like her. As much as she hated to admit it, Eiji and Sasuke were at fault for this one. They had probably overexerted themselves and now they were paying the price for it.

That didn't mean she wasn't going to give them the earful of a lifetime when she was finally allowed in.

And it sure as _hell_ didn't mean she hadn't almost had a heart attack when she had found out about it.

"Do you think Eiji and Sasuke are alright?" Naruto asked her for the third time in the last half-hour, large blue eyes blinking innocently.

She sighed, breathing unevenly. "Naruto, you would know better than me. You saw what happened."

He gave her a toothy grin. "Yeah! It was awesome! Eiji and Sasuke kicked those guys' butts!"

She sighed, also unevenly. "I'm sure they did, but hurting others takes a toll, Naruto, physically and mentally."

"Huh?"

Oh boy. Whoops. This wasn't a great time to have this discussion, but now was a better time than when Naruto had made his first kill.

She felt sick to her stomach that she was even operating under even the _assumption_ that this adorable little human being, this innocent little child, would have to take a life at some point in the very near future.

"Well, Naruto, I can tell you from firsthand experience that killing someone does not feel good."

"What does it feel like?"

Oh, this was going to be hard. "I'm guessing it's different for different people, but for me, I completely emotionally shut down for a while. I didn't eat, I barely slept, and I didn't really talk to anybody."

"Why?"

She sighed shakily. "Naruto, I've told you about this before, but I fought in the Third Shinobi World War, and war wreaks havoc on a child's mind."

It really did. That war screwed her and everyone she knew up so badly for a while that it had taken years of therapy and focusing on parenthood to revert to some semblance of normalcy. Itachi had been the only one that had been largely unaffected by war. He had seen the horrors of it and fought and killed in Konoha's name, and he had renounced violence because of it, but he had never broken down, never fallen apart in the middle of battle. He had never fallen prey to battle fever or blood rage. He always kept a cool head.

In hindsight, his complete lack of hesitation in killing others really should have told her something about him.

Naruto was silent.

"It got better after a while, and I had a lot of help from Eiji's father, but it was still hard for a while. Eiji really helped me heal, and you and Sasuke have really helped the both of us." She explained, referring to Eiji's being attacked a few months ago.

He looked frustrated by that, folding his arms and turning away. "That's bullshit that you had to fight in a war."

She sighed again, shrugging. "Yes it is, but that's how the world works."

He looked down at the floor. "It doesn't have to be that way, y'know."

"What do you mean?" Himawari asked, trying to help him form his thoughts.

He exhaled frustratedly. "I, I, man, I dunno, it-it just seems wrong."

Naruto wasn't simple-minded, not by a long shot, he just had trouble putting his thoughts into the written and spoken word. Himawari knew plenty of people, many of them her own relatives, that had gotten perfect grades at the academy and aced every test thrown at them, but lacked any sense of real creativity or empathy. Her own father was a textbook example of this. Naruto wasn't like that, and he was probably the most kind-hearted person she'd ever met.

She smiled sadly and squeezed Naruto tightly. "You're going to make a great Hokage."

He smiled happily and squeezed her back with one of his characteristic giggles.

He really would make a great Hokage. Sometimes, it felt like she was the only person in the village that saw problems with training _children_ since birth to fight in wars and kill _other children_ in the name of a village that they didn't even really understand. She hadn't even seen an issue with it until she had Eiji, and when Sasuke and Naruto joined her household, the horror she felt at what the kids of the village were forced to do only increased. Naruto couldn't really crystallize and verbalize the concept quite yet, but he was obviously aware enough that conflict for the sake of conflict was unnecessary and wasteful, not to mention inhumane.

Naruto was considered a failure and an idiot by the majority of the village, and even Himawari had to admit that he should have studied harder in the Academy, but there were times when he was more wise and insightful than even the Lord Third.

He would do great things when he became Hokage, and Himawari was one-hundred percent sure he would reach his goal.

They heard footsteps down the stairwell at the end of the hallway past the receptionist's desk, the sounds of sandals clacking against the floor. Himawari and Naruto still both perked up, desperately hoping it was news of Eiji and Sasuke.

Sayuri Hoki exited the stairwell and walked down the hallway at a brisk pace, stopping in front of Himawari.

Now, normally, Himawari would have bombarded Sayuri with questions about Kazuko and how she was doing, but right now, all her thoughts were focused on her own kids. "Can we go see them now?" Himawari asked Sayuri.

She shook her head regretfully. "Unfortunately, no. Neither are conscious yet and show no signs of waking up any time soon, but they're both relatively stable; just a little low on chakra. We're going to monitor them for another twenty-four hours."

Himawari sighed, rubbing her forehead. _Another_ day? "We'll be able to visit when they wake up?"

"After twenty-four hours, yes." Sayuri confirmed.

"And you'll contact us with any news?"

Sayuri nodded again. "As soon as one of us can get to the phone."

Himawari exhaled loudly, somewhat relieved and anxiety subsiding somewhat. Standing up, she took Naruto's hand and bowed her head slightly to Sayuri. "Thank you."

Sayuri bowed back, deeper than Himawari had. "Of course, Lady Hyuuga."

As Sayuri walked back to the stairwell, Himawari looked down at Naruto and motioned towards the exit with her head. "Let's go, Naruto."

Naruto frowned. "But what if Eiji and Sasuke wake up? We need to be here!"

Had he really not been listening to _anything_ the receptionist had told them?

She grinned in spite of herself, deciding to redirect him. "How about I take you to Ichiraku for passing the preliminaries?"Naruto deserved a treat for doing so well.

Naruto's face lit up like a decorated pine tree during the Rinne Festival. "RAMEN?! YEAH! That's so cool, heh heh heh-hey, wait a minute," he scratched his head, "Iruka-sensei promised me ramen too."

"Academy teachers aren't paid very much, and with the amount you eat, he'd be out a month's pay before you're halfway finished. I'll cover for him." She offered.

Naruto resumed grinning and squeezed her hand. "Thanks, Auntie Hima!" He said loudly.

Kakashi of all people walked out from behind a corner. "Naruto, keep it down. You're in a hospital."

Himawari's face darkened. "Kakashi."

He was probably here for Sasuke as well, and had probably been told the same thing she had when he tried to visit.

Naruto ripped free from Himawari's grip and sprinted over to Kakashi. "Kakashi-sensei! Boy am I glad to see you. I gotta ask you-"

Kakashi shook his head, holding up a hand. "Naruto, I know what you're going to ask me. I'm going to be busy for a while, and I've been looking for someone to oversee your training for the finals of the exams."

"Hey, wait a minute! Why can't you train me?" Naruto asked dejectedly.

"I have other matters to attend to. I have no time to train you." Kakashi stated bluntly.

Naruto voiced Himawari's realization a second or two after she had come to it. "You're gonna train Sasuke, aren't you?!"

Himawari approached him and gripped his shoulder. "Naruto, volume." She said quietly, reminding him to keep his voice in check.

She wasn't exactly happy about Kakashi being Sasuke's private tutor, namely because she wouldn't trust the man with a child's life if her own life depended on it, but he was the best choice. He was the only adult in the village with a Sharingan, as far as she knew, and thus the only person left who could teach Sasuke how to use its more complex jutsu; the genjutsu, hypnosis, advanced copying, the like. Similarly, Sasuke had the same elemental affinities as Eiji: lightning and fire. Kakashi was only affined to lightning, but a lightning affinity was incredibly rare in this part of the world, and he could teach Sasuke some high-level lightning ninjutsu, like the Chidori. With the amount of chakra control required for that jutsu, it was more or less a requirement that you had a lightning affinity. Itachi had been able to pull it off without a lightning affinity, but comparing almost any other ninja to Itachi was like comparing a kunai to Gamabunta's tanto: one was relatively standard-issue and bland and the other was an art piece that was capable of indescribable destruction.

"Relax, Naruto. I've found you an even better tutor." Kakashi said, as enthusiastically as he could in the monotonous deadpan he tended to speak in.

Naruto put his hands on his hips. "Well, who is it?" He asked skeptically. He sounded interested, but still cautious.

Himawari really hoped it wasn't who she thought it was.

"It is I!" A voice announced dramatically, coming from behind her.

She groaned, rubbing her forehead and turning around.

Ebisu stood there, expression and posture reeking of condescending superiority.

Dammit.

To say that she hated Ebisu was a bit of a strong word. He was more like a mosquito: a major annoyance that would leave an itching spot if he touched you.

"YOU?! You closet pervert!" Naruto shouted accusingly.

Naruto was right. Ebisu was a pervert, but at least he had the decency to not stare at her chest when she was in the room.

Well, her Byakugan told her something different, but he at least _acted_ professionally, even if he was probably thinking about something different.

Very different.

Wait a minute. How did Naruto know that Ebisu was a "closet pervert?"

Ebisu pushed up his glasses. "Such insolence!"

"Not that guy! Anyone but him!" Naruto practically begged Kakashi.

Kakashi looked as lost as he could with most of his face covered up. "Wha-what? What did you call him?" he asked quietly.

Naruto either deliberately ignored or, more likely, wasn't paying attention to what Kakashi had been saying. "Are you kidding me?! Of all the guys you could've picked, you picked with _this_ guy to train me?! That's a freakin' joke! He's weaker than I am!"

With the Nine-Tailed Fox inside him, of course Naruto was stronger. Still, she was curious about what exactly had happened that had made him come to that conclusion.

"What makes you say that?" Kakashi asked, voicing her thoughts.

"I'm serious! You shoulda seen him! He saw my Harem Jutsu once and he fell to pieces!" Naruto said accusingly, Ebisu starting to panic in response.

Himawari cocked her head to the side with a curious smile. "Harem Jutsu?"

"Yeah! It knocked Ebisu out cold a long time ago! You wanna see?"

Himawari was, admittedly, somewhat curious as to exactly what the Harem Jutsu was.

Ebisu went red in the face and began to sweat. "Ohit'snothingreallyjustalittlejokewesharedhahaha!" He said as one word.

Himawari glanced at him wryly, then back at Naruto. She really wanted to see Ebisu's reaction to whatever this was. "Do it."

Ebisu rushed forward to stop him. "No, don't-!"

Naruto crossed his fingers with a grin and performed the Shadow Clone Jutsu, and the room was suddenly filled with copies of Naruto. He, and all of his clones, wove some more hand seals: Ram, then Snake, then Tiger, then Ram again.

"Transform!" He shouted, his numerous clones echoing him. The room was filled with smoke, and when the smoke cleared, Himawari struggled to process what she was seeing.

She, Kakashi, and Ebisu were completely surrounded by what looked like an older, female Naruto. All were shaped perfectly, and all had extremely long blonde hair that was tied into two pigtails.

And none of them wore anything even resembling clothes.

The quickly swarmed Ebisu, grabbing at him and purring some remarkably lewd things. She would have to ask Naruto where he had learned phrases and expressions like that, and made note to search his room for anything that he might have snuck in when she was out on a mission.

She also reminded herself to check to see if her copy of _Icha Icha: Paradise_ was where she had left it.

She did not want him finding that.

Ebisu was sent flying into a wall as a geyser of blood erupted from his nose. Kakashi didn't appear to react at all.

Himawari, in stark contrast to what one might expect her to do, doubled over laughing. Only Naruto could come up with something like this. He was just as creative as Eiji was, if not more so in some cases. She certainly wouldn't have come up with the idea to weaponize _nudity_ of all things, but the more she thought about it, the more sense it made. The one thing that stifled everyone's ability to think coherently was sex.

In her experience, there were no exceptions to this rule. Having been completely sexually inactive for the past eight years, more out of lack of time than lack of interest, she could say with complete confidence that a variant of Naruto's Harem Jutsu with men instead of women would have floored her in an instant.

Naruto transformed back and his clones disappeared. Himawari patted him on the head affectionately, wiping away some tears with a childish giggle. "Oh man, Naruto, I really needed to laugh like that. Thanks."

"I was a little scared you'd yell at me for that one! Heh heh heh..." He trailed off, grinning widely and rubbing the back of his head.

Kakashi exhaled exasperatedly. "Good job, Naruto. You just knocked out your only hope for the exams. Again. Have fun trying to find a new one."

He pointed at Kakashi dramatically. " I'll be able to find someone else, just you watch!"

Kakashi walked towards the exit, removing a copy of _Icha Icha: Paradise_ from his flak jacket. "Good luck with that!" He said with a wave, seemingly genuinely.

"I'll do it! I'll find one in the next ten minutes!"

"Okay." Kakashi deadpanned, leaving the building.

Immediately after Kakashi was far enough away from the two of them, Naruto gripped his head tightly and crouched down, staring at the ground. "Oh man, what am I gonna do _now?!_ "

An idea popped into Himawari's head. She felt extremely stupid that it didn't occur to her earlier.

Sasuke was being trained by Kakashi, and Eiji had already learned everything she could teach him right now, and her getting Mei, Utakata, and Chojuro to the Hidden Leaf had net her a million or so ryo, meaning that she could afford to take a few months off.

She could train Naruto, and since he had such massive reserves, she could teach him the advanced stuff that even Eiji couldn't do yet. Most notably, the Rasengan. It didn't take any hand seals or particularly precise control of one's chakra, even if it did require massive amounts of it. It also fit nicely with Naruto's last name.

Himawari crouched down and rubbed his back comfortingly. "Well, Naruto, I've been a Jounin since I was seventeen. I wasn't promoted as early as Kakashi was, but I've got a few things I could teach you." She offered.

"You're just gonna leave on a mission again in a couple weeks." Naruto said frustratedly.

She looked at the ground, guilt apparent on her face. She had missed one of his birthdays a few years ago because she was out of the village taking out some crime syndicate for Sunagakure, and she was absent from their lives much more often than she would have liked. Iruka had filled in for her, though, and she would forever thank the positive effect that man had on Naruto's early life.

"I got paid a _lot_ of money for this last mission, Naruto. I can afford to take a month or two off." Himawari reassured.

Naruto looked up at her excitedly. "Really?! Can you teach me some kinda super powerful and destructive jutsu?!"

She stood up and took his hand again, walking towards the exit. "I can, but let's talk about it over lunch."

He nodded enthusiastically. "Heh heh, yeah, okay!"

Teuchi placed a bowl of Ramen in front of Naruto, then in front of Himawari. "There ya go."

She bowed her head slightly. "Thank you."

Naruto immediately began to eat, but Himawari pointed to his napkin. "Napkin on your lap, Naruto, and say thank you."

Naruto groaned through the noodles in his mouth and obliged, unfolding the cloth and placing it on his orange pants. "Thanks." He mumbled through his food.

She rubbed his shoulder. "Close enough."

She sneezed, covering her nose with her elbow. Someone must be talking about her somewhere. She wondered who it was as she wiped her elbow clean with her napkin.

When she looked back at Naruto, he had, somehow, already finished off his first bowl. "When are you gonna teach me the super powerful jutsu?"

She blinked at the empty bowl. "Uh, wow, that was quick..."

She shook her head quickly, closing her eyes and clearing her thoughts. She wasn't going to teach him the Rasengan quite yet. He needed to work on his fundamental, foundational skills, which paled in comparison to Sasuke's and didn't even fit into the same category as Eiji's, even if his control was entirely because of the seal on his forehead.

She held up her index and middle fingers, signaling Teuchi. "Hey, Teuchi?"

He looked up from an empty bowl he was cleaning, eyes darting between her, Naruto, and his empty bowl of ramen. "Yeah?"

"Could you just fill his bowl up whenever he empties it?" She requested.

Naruto blinked in rapid succession. "Are you serious?!"

His beady black eyes widened. "Himawari, that'll probably cost you a lot of money." He warned.

"I just got back from a high-paying A-Rank and the little guy just passed the preliminaries of the Chunin Exams. He deserves this."

Naruto really did. He was the only one of her three boys that had managed to pass the exams without knocking himself out.

"Alright, then," he said, looking over his shoulder to Ayame. "Aya! Start making bowls of what these two just ordered!"

"How many?" Ayame asked from a place Himawari couldn't see, probably near the sink where the bowls were washed..

"However many this one can eat." Teuchi said, motioning towards Naruto.

"Understood." Ayame said with a tired sigh, already understanding that the next hour or so would be long and gruelling.

Naruto pumped his fist in the air. "All you can eat ramen?! Oh yeah!"

Ayame and Teuchi got to work as Himawari quickly downed her bowl of ramen (she loved the stuff too) and turned to Naruto. "So, Naruto, to answer your question, we're not going to start with the powerful jutsu."

Naruto's excitement was replaced by anger and surprise of the same magnitude. "What?!"

She held up a hand. "Naruto, hear me out. We'll get to those, but you need to work on your technique first."

"What does that mean?" He asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I mean that you can't control your chakra very well, and some of the jutsu I want to teach you require relatively refined chakra control." She explained.

"Then how come I can make zillions of clones all at once, huh?"

She tapped on his stomach, his chakra center, and injected him with the slightest bit of her chakra; just enough to stimulate his chakra pathway system He giggled cutely in response. "That's because you have about ten times what most of your peers have in the way of reserves."

His anger faded, only surprise remaining. "Huh? Really?"

She nodded. "Absolutely. I'm no slouch myself, but I can never come close to what you've got. More specifically, I think I can store about half of what you can when I'm in my best shape, but that's only because I'm a Hyuuga. When you learn to control it perfectly and build it up to its maximum potential, and I know you will, you'll probably be able to _actually_ create and fully control, heh, 'zillions' of clones all at once."

Naruto grinned. "Really?! That's so cool!"

She smiled, nodding again. "It is! Now once you're done here, we can go work on your chakra control."

Naruto nodded enthusiastically and dug into his second bowl of ramen.

A good fifteen or so bowls later (Himawari lost count after a while), she handed Teuchi a wad of ryo and stood up, pushing her stool under the counter.

He waved to her. "Thanks! Come again any time."

Naruto slid from his stool and hit the ground, rubbing his stomach. "Oh man, I'm stuffed."

She pointed to his stool, which hadn't been pushed back under the counter. "Your seat, Naruto." She pointed out, reminding him to push his stool back under the counter.

He groaned and hastily shoved the stool back under the counter, then turned back to Himawari. "So where're we going?"

"The Hot Springs." She said, taking his hand and leading him down the street.

"Why're we going there? I mean, a hot soak sounds nice after all that time in the Forest of Death, but-"

She smiled, rubbing his head. "Naruto, I'm going to teach you how to walk on water."

The sounds of excitement Naruto made would have woken up everyone within a mile radius if it was nighttime.

* * *

Orochimaru's ears prickled when he heard the sound of Naruto Uzumaki screaming and yelling about learning to walk on water. Orochimaru had mastered that so incredibly long ago with so little difficulty that he legitimately had trouble understanding why exactly the vessel of the Nine-Tailed Fox was so excited about it.

Orochimaru looked around, boredly examining Konohagakure from his spot in one of the shaded platforms in the middle of a small lake, leaning up against a rounded support column. Back when he was a Leaf ninja, this was where he came to think. Sometimes he would feed the koi fish inhabiting the water. In a strange way, it was good to be back, even if he had at least fourteen ANBU watching him at all times, waiting to blow a whistle if he tried anything. He had soundproofed the area with a jutsu, so at the very least he had auditory privacy.

He heard another noise to his right.

Footsteps.

He turned his head ninety degrees to the right.

Kabuto.

Orochimaru flicked some hair from his face. "All these countries and villages are racing to expand their military might, but the birds are still singing, the sun is still shining, and and people are still going about their boring, drab lives."

Orochimaru tilted his head slightly and looked at Kabuto. "This country of ours has been at peace for far, far too long."

Kabuto frowned. "Then let me do it."

Kabuto tilted his head again and looked away from Kabuto. "Oh, I don't know. How much fun could it possibly be, killing a worthless old man like Hiruzen?" He questioned coyly.

Kabuto pushed up his glasses, shining light in Orochimaru's eyes. "So that's how it is. What's the problem. Why are you hesitating? Are you having second thoughts, _Lord Orochimaru_?"

Orochimaru stiffened. As much as he hated to admit it, he was having second thoughts. He had been inches away from killing Hiruzen probably dozens of times now, but he hadn't managed to do it. He hadn't rid himself of his humanity entirely yet, but he would eventually. That would come with the Rinnegan.

Kabuto adjusted his glasses. "If you kill the Third Hokage, Konoha and her allies will target our village and attack it relentlessly until either you or all of them are dead."

Kabuto smirked, light glinting off his spectacles. "And that's why you're going to have Sasuke or Eiji do it."

A smile spread across Orochimaru's face that could be described only as serpentine. "Ah, Kabuto. Smart as whip. Yes, that's the gist of it. Whichever one wins the final match of the exams will be the assassin and my new body. Whichever loses will be my left hand, your counterpart and my trainee. I wonder, which will be which? Either way, and Uchiha killing the Hokage? It will tear the village apart at the seams and drive them both to me."

Kabuto produced Eiji's ninja info card from a pouch on his waist. "Eiji will win, most likely. His medical records indicate Uzumaki Syndrome. With his chakra flowing at such speeds, his Curse Mark will be fully matured by the end of the month, even with the seal, just in time for the Exams. Pump him full of your chakra to blast through the seal and fill up his Strength of A Hundred seal, have the Sound Four extract Sasuke and seal off the stadium, and that's that. No more Hokage, no more Kazekage, no more Mizukage, and no more Daimyo. If we're lucky, he'll end up killing Naruto or even his own mother. That would activate the Mangekyou, certainly. You could probably take over half the continent in the aftermath of the attack."

Orochimaru laughed quietly. "My my, Kabuto, you are remarkably insightful. Did you read my plans for the invasion?"

"You give me too much credit. I had no idea about Dosu, Zaku, and Kin. Honestly, I'm a little offended that you didn't trust me with that information. I probably could have kept Dosu alive."

"I was under the impression that Eiji healed the majority of his wounds."

Kabuto chuckled darkly. "He did a terrible job. Attempting to heal internal wounds with minimal knowledge of the human body is a recipe for disaster. Dosu died a few hours ago from wounds Eiji missed or healed incorrectly."

Orochimaru licked his lips. "That is deliciously ironic."

Kabuto nodded, readjusting his glasses again. "It is."

"Oh well. Dosu was a loyal shinobi that will likely not be missed."

A pause.

Orochimaru hadn't seen who had been paired up with who for the finals, having left the arena immediately after smelling vanilla, meaning Himawari, flying at the arena at a mach speeds. "Tell me, who will Eiji and Sasuke be fighting?"

"Eiji will be fighting Shigeri, the boy from Kusagakure that killed his own teammate in the preliminaries."

That would be an interesting fight. Steel Style rendered the user almost completely invulnerable to taijutsu, even the Gentle Fist, and from what Orochimaru could tell, Eiji had inherited his mother's aptitude for punching things. How he would handle fighting someone that was completely immune to his normal means of attack would make or break him and likely determine his promotion to Chunin.

"And Sasuke?"

"He will be fighting Mayumi."

Orochimaru cackled. "Oh, that fight won't last long."

Kabuto shook his head. "I wouldn't be so sure." He said uncertainly.

"She's inherited the intelligence of her father, which is, to say, none. She is very strong, much like her mother, but slow and unskilled. Against someone like Sasuke, she stands minimal chance of success."

Kabuto leaned on a guardrail, staring out at the Hidden Leaf. "True enough, I suppose."

Another brief pause.

Kabuto spoke. "Will Kimimaro be participating in the invasion?"

Orochimaru shook his head, smug smile fading somewhat. "No. He is still recovering from the removal of his Curse Mark. He needs to rest and recover lost chakra."

Kabuto nodded regretfully. "That's unfortunate. It would be useful to have him on the front lines."

Orochimaru shrugged, tilting his head to the side. "He is no great loss when compared to the rest of the forces I have lined up."

"Might I ask who?"

Orochimaru supposed he might need to know exactly who would be participating, given that if something went horribly wrong (not like it would) and Orochimaru was captured or, more likely, killed, Kabuto would become the new leader of Oto. "Do you remember who Eiji's teacher is, Kabuto?"

Kabuto nodded. "Yes. Ryuji Inazuma, the Dragon of Kumo."

"Do you remember that he once led a criminal empire that spanned half of our continent?"

"Yes sir."

"And do you remember what happened to Zabuza Momochi's army when he was defeated and went into hiding the first time?"

"I do."

"Then you must have figured out by now that when a leader that powerful and charismatic abandons his men because he is defeated and left alive by a superior opponent, he leaves a great deal of shinobi and samurai leaderless, jobless, and extremely resentful. Where do you think all those thousands of men went, Kabuto? I doubt they returned to their villages."

A grin slowly spread across Kabuto's face. "How many?"

"Two hundred men from Sunagakure, one-hundred and sixty from from our village, and three-thousand ex-Go-Ryu Clan foot soldiers, including Ryuji's old right-hand man."

Kabuto stood back up straight. "I don't think we could lose if we tried."

"That's the idea, Kabuto. We do not enter battles with the goal of losing."

Orochimaru was not about to take any chances when the village was inhabited by so many powerful and important people all at once.

Kabuto leaned back over the guardrail, readjusting his glasses and looking over at the Hot Springs which were visible from where they were. "Is that Jiraiya?"

Orochimaru whipped his head in the direction of the Hot Springs.

There he was.

Orochimaru's smugness vanished.

Uh oh.

He would need to upscale this invasion if Jiraiya was here. "Kabuto, I'm going to need you to find some more DNA samples."

Kabuto removed a small notepad from his pocket. "From who?"

"Futoshi Shimano, Tetsuo Tamashiro, and Yoshitaka Mine." Orochimaru listed grimly. That was a list of some of the most powerful and violent dead criminals he could think of, and all would prove useful in the invasion.

Ah, if only Goro Majima and Taiga Saejima were dead too. The two of them could probably raze the village in an hour, and that was only because Jiraiya was here. Orochimaru idly wondered what those two were up to now.

Kabuto turned white. "Sir, I don't know if even you could control Mine-"

Orochimaru snapped his fingers, shutting Kabuto up. "Just do it. I can manage them if they need to be controlled, and I sincerely doubt that after all this time in the ground they would mind killing people."

Kabuto nodded. "Yes, Lord Orochimaru."

And with that, Kabuto disappeared in a blur, as did Orochimaru.

He did not want Jiraiya catching wind of his being here. The ANBU were quiet and careful, whereas if Jiraiya knew he was here, the man would not stop until one or both of them were dead and buried.

Additionally, receiving a high-powered Rasengan to the stomach was one of the most painful things Orochimaru had ever experienced, even with deadened nerves and a reinforced body, and he did not want to experience it again.

He leapt into the trees and quickly escaped the village.

* * *

Himawari looked at Naruto, then at the water, then back at Naruto. Given that they were both likely about to end up in the water while he was learning, they had both stopped by their home and replaced their clothing with swimsuits. Naruto had simple green swim trunks, and Himawari had a dark blue one-piece swimsuit with a white Hyuuga Clan symbol printed on the back, not like anyone could see it. So as to not cause any accidents or bring on any unwanted attention, she had covered herself up with a large white swim shawl. She still struck a striking figure, though. One would be hard-pressed not to find a gynophile that _didn't_ want to stare at Himawari even when she was just wearing her usual Hyuuga light blue kimono/apron thing. She didn't know what it was called, and it only now occurred to her that she had never asked.

She and Naruto walked over to a bench that overlooked the springs and she sat down.

Naruto looked confused. "Hey, what's the holdup? I wanna walk on water!"

"Before we do that, you need to know how chakra control works. Have a seat." She explained, motioning for him to sit down next to her by patting a spot on the bench to her right.

"Fine." He resigned, folding his arms and sitting down next to her.

She sighed deeply. She really hoped he listened to her this time. "So, from what Kakashi has told me about your team's performance, it sounds like you have the most trouble with chakra control."

Naruto grumbled something unintelligible.

How could she explain this in ways he understood?

She thought for a moment.

"So, Naruto, you use the Shadow Clone jutsu a lot, right?"

He nodded. "Yep."

"And how do you prepare for it?"

"I gather chakra and do this." He said, demonstrating the unique hand seal for clone techniques.

"Right," she said, dipping her head slightly, "but did you ever stop and consider that you might be using too much chakra for each clone?"

Naruto blinked. "What?"

"Pouring more chakra than you need into a jutsu doesn't necessarily make it stronger."

That wasn't entirely true. The Rasengan and many Gentle Fist Techniques increased in strength directly proportional to the amount of chakra that was applied to them. The Rasengan, the Vacuum Palm, and the Palm Rotation increased in size and destructive potential with seemingly no limit. She had once taken down a skyscraper in Amegakure with a Vacuum Palm, and her father had once protected an entire regiment during the Third Shinobi World War from a volley of arrows and other projectile weapons with a massive Palm Rotation.

"That doesn't make sense." Naruto said, confused.

"Chakra control was a bit tricky for me at first too, but water-walking helped me a lot, and it helped Eiji get used to controlling his chakra." She explained, pointing at the water.

Naruto thought for a second, looking at the sky, before looking back at her. "Oh yeah," he said slowly, "I remember that. He fell in a lot."

"He did, but he's got a handle on it now. Water-walking is a lot like tree-climbing, but it requires you to micromanage your chakra, because the amount you need to apply for adhering to an ever-changing surface like water fluctuates; changes. This helps you to determine how much chakra you will need for a jutsu because it helps you control your chakra much more precisely."

Naruto blinked again. "What?"

Eiji and Sasuke both had larger vocabularies than a lot of adults she knew, and because of that, she sometimes forgot to turn things back down for Naruto. "Maybe it would be better if we just jump right in-" she paused, looking up at the sky, "wait, no, not jump in. Build up chakra in your feet and try to step on the water."

Naruto clapped his hands together and stood up, puffing out his chest. "Now you're talkin'!"

Naruto formed the Ram seal and his feet began to glow a warm yellow. His seal appeared on his stomach.

He ran over to the water and carefully placed his foot on the surface. He shakily placed another foot on the surface of the water.

He giggled excitedly, looking down at his feet.

Himawari smiled, nodding encouragingly. "There you go! Try walking around a bit."

He wobbled his way to the center of the springs, arms and torso flailing every which way. "Hey, Auntie Hima! Look at me! I'm-"

And with that, Naruto promptly fell into the water.

Himawari pressed her lips together in concern. The springs weren't deep enough for her to worry about him drowning, and Naruto was a good swimmer, but she had almost jumped up and dove in to help him. Maternal instinct, she supposed.

On a similar note, Naruto had this strange tendency to float in water. For whatever reason, his head would always bob up to the surface and drag him upwards, which made retrieving objects from the bottom of any pools or springs she had brought the kids to extremely difficult, and had led to many instances of Sasuke calling him an "airhead."

Naruto popped out of the water, flailing his arms wildly. "HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTAAAGGGGHHH"

She stood up and waded into the water, gently but firmly pulling him from the water. Naruto grabbed around for something to wipe the water from his eyes, and Himawari offered him her shawl.

"Oh man, that water is really hot." He groaned, rubbing his eyes with the shawl.

She wrapped her shawl back around her upper body and a lot of ANBU and lookouts that she had been watching with her Byakugan and that should have been doing their jobs looked very disappointed, returning to their work. "Trust me when I say this, Naruto: cold water is much worse."

Naruto opened his eyes, blinking away any excess water, before standing back up and glaring at the pool. "I bet. Okay, lemme try that again."

This time, he didn't even make it halfway across the water.

She exhaled tiredly, shoulders and eyelids drooping. She had been awake for, what, fifteen hours now? She would need some kind of stimulant if she were to keep this up. "Naruto, I'm gonna go grab some coffee or tea or something. You want anything?"

He shook his head as he climbed out of the pool, spiky hair sending water flying everywhere. "Nah, I'm good. Could you maybe bring me my jacket and pants, though?"

"You got it." She said, teleporting back to her home. She had a seal on the door that prevented people from using the _shunshin_ to enter the building.

She removed a set of keys from a seal on the inside of her shawl and unlocked the door, stepping inside. She sighed tiredly and her eyes wandered over to her bedroom.

Naruto would be at his water-walking practice for a while.

Surely a little nap couldn't hurt.

She tore off her shawl, strode over to the bed and fell asleep before her head hit the pillow.

* * *

Mayumi stretched out, curling her toes. The Hot Springs were fantastic, whether she was soaking in them or just ogling hot guys for hours from outside. Right now, she was doing the former in celebration of her making it to the finals, and she had dragged Kazuko away from Eiji's and Sasuke's hospital room so she would have company. "Oh man, this is the life, eh Kazzy?"

Kazuko nodded, smiling calmly. "This is rather nice. How often do you come here?"

"Every few days. I got a punch card here somewhere..." She trailed off, digging around in her clothing (currently crumpled in a small pile to the left of the springs) for said card. Unable to find it, she turned back to Kazuko. Mayumi only then noticed that Kazuko was wearing a bathing suit. "Hey, why're you wearing a bathing suit?"

"I prefer being covered up, personally. I have no idea how you manage to do... _that_." Kazuko said, pointing at Mayumi's completely naked form. It wasn't really that much to look at yet; puberty was showing up late for her, excluding the voice, which had become low and somewhat scratchy. Not Naruto levels of scratchy, but still scratchy enough to make some people ask if she was sick.

"I guess." She said with a shrug. "So, how are you gonna prep for the finals?"

Mayumi wanted Kazuko to get on her training ASAP. She was going to be fighting Gaara, the little psycho.

Kazuko pushed a strand of silver hair from her face. "Ryuji-sensei wants to take me to Tanzaku Town to meet a man named Shun Akiyama. He's supposedly an incredibly skilled Wind Style user."

Mayumi cocked her head to the side. She hadn't had her own affinity tested yet (it was probably earth), but she had heard Ryuji speaking with Eiji on multiple occasions about his having dual fire and lightning affinities. "Is that what you're affined to?"

"It is. Ryuji-sensei says I got extremely lucky with that, because it's the elemental affinity that requires the least amount of chakra to use. It requires incredibly precise chakra control, but I shouldn't have much of an issue with that." Kazuko explained.

"Got it." Mayumi lied.

"What about you? Given that you're going to be fighting Sasuke, I imagine that you're going to want to learn some new techniques."

Mayumi grimaced, looking down at the rippling water. She really did need to learn something other than "punch the opponent really hard." From what she'd seen so far, Sasuke liked breathing fire on his opponents, throwing projectile weapons at them, or using taijutsu. He was quite strong and extremely fast for a Genin, and his Sharingan allowed him to predict what an opponent was about to do based on the movement of their muscles.

In short, she had minimal chance of success. As loathe as she was to admit it, Sasuke was objectively more skilled than she was.

Kazuko appeared to notice and decipher her expression. "If you ask Ryuji-sensei, I'm sure he can teach you something."

"Isn't he gonna be in Tanzaku Town for a month?" Mayumi asked.

"No, no, I'm going to be staying with Akiyama and his partner, Hana. Ryuji says they're great people." Kazuko clarified.

While Mayumi didn't like the idea of Kazuko being in a place like Tanzaku Town with people neither of them knew yet, but if Ryuji trusted them, then that, to Mayumi, was the highest vote of confidence a person could get. "So he's going to drop you off with them, then come back?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"Okay, so that frees him up. Do you happen to know any Earth Style Jounin that are interested in taking on students?" Mayumi asked. Kazuko worked in the hospital when she wasn't with her Genin team, so she worked on/with and talked to a lot of different Leaf Ninja.

Kazuko held a fist up to her mouth, pressing her lips against her curled index finger with a scrunched-up forehead. ""Hmm… I know a few people, but we should probably get your affinity tested first."

Mayumi nodded. That made sense. She was more or less completely certain it was earth, but there was no harm in testing it. "Yeah, okay. When do you wanna do that?"

"The sooner the better, I think."

It just occurred to Mayumi that she had no idea where to get her affinity tested. "Hey, where can I-"

"We can do it for free down at the hospital."

Mayumi grinned. "Great! Let's go." Mayumi said, stepping from the water, hastily drying herself, and throwing her clothes back on.

"Mayumi?"

Mayumi turned her head back in Kazuko's direction. "Yeah? What?"

Kazuko stood up and grabbed a towel, drying herself off. "Why do you always wear that necklace?"

Mayumi looked down at the little blue crystal necklace she always wore. "I know it sounds kinda cheesy, but this was the only other thing that I had on me when the orphanage found me. I guess it was my parents' or something, I dunno."

"Do you ever think you'll meet your parents?" Kazuko asked, voice muffled somewhat by the towel she was drying her hair with.

"Probably not, but if I do, I'm gonna kick their asses for leaving me at the orphanage." Mayumi proclaimed.

Then she heard a man sneeze from the other side of the wall. "Damn allergies..." He cursed.

Someone had been watching them.

Kazuko looked at the wall, then at Mayumi, then back at the wall, then back at Mayumi again. "No! Mayumi, don't-"

Kazuko was apparently misunderstanding her. She wasn't particularly mad at the man, whoever he was; she couldn't be without being a massive hypocrite.

That didn't mean she wasn't going to beat the snot out of him, if only for the sake of the other women in the bath house.

Mayumi walked out of the enclosed portion of the hot springs and turned a corner. She saw a large, older man dressed in red traditional garb with spiky white hair sitting with his legs crossed, giggling as he scribbled something in a small notebook. His face was square and he had a small mole on the right side of his nose. Something about him looked extremely familiar, but she couldn't really tell what.

"Hey, old man!" She shouted.

The man kept writing. "Shush, sweetheart, I'm busy with research."

Mayumi's eyebrow twitched. "Oh yeah? What kinda research involves looking at naked-"

Mayumi was suddenly crushed by something extremely heavy, even for her. She struggled, but she couldn't move, nor could she tell what was pinning her to the ground. Whatever it was, though, it smelled terrible, like moss or mold.

"Keep it down, sweetheart. Do you wanna get me busted?" He said.

Mayumi heard Naruto of all people. "Whoa, is that a giant frog?!"

Then, the slimy thing croaked.

Well, a frog wasn't so bad when she considered whatever else this guy could have summoned. She liked frogs and their uglier cousins a lot. When she was little, she used to go down to ponds and catch them. She wouldn't kill or eat them or anything gross like that, she'd just hold them and talk to them for a while.

Still, that didn't mean she wasn't royally pissed at the large man, whoever he was.

"Hey Naruto! Get this jerk to get this toad off me so I can kick this perv's ass!" She shouted, voice probably muffled by the giant amphibian.

"You flattened Mayumi?!" He sounded legitimately surprised.

"Hey, ya big jerk! Stop peeking at the girls and get the giant frog off by friend! Who do you think you are, anyway?!" Naruto yelled angrily.

"I'm glad you asked!" He said dramatically.

"I am the Hermit of Mt. Myoboku, the wise and immortal spirit! It is I, the Toad Mountain Sage!" He bellowed. She suddenly felt extra weight on her. The Toad Mountain Sage, or whatever, had probably jumped on top of the toad for some reason or another.

"What? Toad Sage?"

The man laughed heartily. "Exactly!"

Something about the title "Toad Sage" tickled her brain. She knew she had seen that somewhere before, but she couldn't remember where.

"Well, listen, ya pervy sage, get off my friend!" Naruto shouted.

"She shouldn't have interfered with my research." He said, implying that it was entirely her fault.

Mayumi struggled harder. This pervy sage was going to lose every last one of his teeth when this toad got off her.

"Research?"

"Well, you see, I'm a novelist. I am a writer of great books, like this!" He proclaimed.

Mayumi was positive she should know who this man was by now,but she just couldn't figure out who it was.

"Wha-you wrote that?!"

"Yes! I see you know it!" He said excitedly.

"You call that pervy trash a novel?! Research? Yeah right, more like an excuse to peek at girls in the bathhouse!"

Mayumi then heard a stampede of footsteps and distinctly feminine screeching.

"AAAGGGHHH! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE! You ruined my peeking, erhm, I mean, my research!"

"Dirty old man." Naruto said. It was more an observation than anything else.

"You little-why, there's nothing dirty about it! I happen to be a serious artist that's inspired by youth and beauty; nothing more!" The Toad Sage yelled defensively.

Mayumi could understand where this man was coming from. She wanted to be an erotic novelist at some point as well, after she had earned some money from A and S-rank missions, but she was holding off on writing anything particularly smutty until she had firsthand experience.

"Yeah, whatever, like anyone believes that. Who cares, anyway, I gotta go train." Naruto said.

"Hm? You mean the water-walking exercise?"

"You can do it?! Okay, then since the lady that was training me before left and hasn't come back for a few hours, you're gonna train me!"

Mayumi struggled to see the logic in that, but she also thought it was interesting that Naruto was seemingly deliberately holding back from referring to Himawari by name.

The man scoffed. "Yeah, as if. Stop bothering me, kid, I'm busy."

"Hey, wait a minute, Pervy Sage, I-"

"Not on your life! I can't work with someone that had no respect for a true artist! Besides, I don't like kids."

"Uh, actually, I thought your book _Icha Icha: Paradise_ was, uh, really well-written, and interesting, and informative!"

Mayumi's stomach started doing gymnastics.

She knew who this man was.

This was Jiraiya, author of the Icha Icha series. He was a true artist and an absurdly powerful shinobi. He was her idol.

She didn't want to beat this man up, hell, there was no way she could even scratch him, but she _did_ want his autograph.

She needed to get this thing off of her, and she needed to do it fast.

She figured the best way to do that, unfortunately, was to be polite and ask.

"Hey, uh, Lord Jiraiya? Could you please move this toad?" She requested as politely as she knew how.

Jiraiya didn't seem to hear her. "Liar. The purchase and reading of that book is prohibited for anyone under the age of eighteen. "

Well, Mayumi had never claimed to have acquired those books _legally_.

"Oh yeah, but the reviews I read were great!" Naruto lied (probably).

Mayumi continued to struggle but the toad just weighed too much. If she had been laying on her front, she might have been able to move it, but she was on her back.

"Do you really think that's going to work on me? What do you take me for, an idiot? I'm a goddamn Sage!" Jiraiya yelled.

"Wait-" Naruto started.

Mayumi heard the rushing of wind. "Sorry kid, but you can't butter me up."

"Okay, you're right, I'm sorry, but you can't-"

The wind howled. "Ha ha ha ha ha! So long and good luck!"

Then the toad finally disappeared, and Mayumi scrambled to her feet just in time to see Jiraiya flying across the rooftops.

Mayumi stood up, somewhat surprised by the lack of slime on her shirt, and looked over at Naruto. Strangely enough, he was only wearing some green swim trunks.  
He grinned, waving at her. "Heya, May-"

Mayumi walked over to him and grabbed his shoulders. "We need to find him."

He pointed towards the rooftops where Jiraiya had gone. "He went that way!"

She slung Naruto over her shoulder. "Hey hey hey, whaddya doin'?!"

"Hold on tight!" She warned him before rocketing into the sky on a pillar of rock in the general direction Jiraiya had went.

Mayumi would not miss out on this opportunity, even if it meant scaring the living hell out of Naruto and leaving a very confused Kazuko at the Hot Springs.

* * *

Jiraiya of the Sannin was having a bad day. He had been rejected four times today, and he'd only woken up five hours ago. Now, there were two kids following him around.

He hated kids.

One of them was Minato and Kushina's boy, Naruto. Naruto had been practically begging Jiraiya to train him, but that didn't make much of a difference for Jiraiya. While he certainly didn't like kids, it was also accurate to say that he had no idea what to do with kids. Both Himawari and Minato had technically been teenagers when he had trained them, and though it had been mostly Minato that had trained Himawari, she had made great conversation for a kid. Jiraiya only wished they had met under better circumstances, which is, to say, her not effectively shutting off his nether regions for a month with rapid-fire Gentle Fist strikes.

And then there was the one with the white hair.

She was, well, she was a lot of things, and she was the primary reason he was running away from the two of them.

She was very clearly his and Tsunade's child. The necklace said it all, but the way she looked said it all again. Her face was almost identical to Tsunade's, even if the hair was all him. What hurt more than finding out he had a child, a little girl, was that Tsunade hadn't told him about her. If he had known, he would have hoofed it back to Konoha as fast as he possibly could to raise her to the best of his ability. Had she really thought him so heartless and worthless that he wouldn't have tried his best at being a father?

What hurt most of all was that she was wearing that necklace. Every other person she had given that necklace to had died within a day of receiving it, meaning that if Tsunade had left her with that necklace, she had probably been hoping that their daughter would die and stop being a responsibility.

Either that, or Tsunade had legitimately believed it would be safer in Konoha, but the former was more believable, unfortunately.

And he didn't even know why the girl was following him. Naruto was very loud about it, but she had been completely silent for the past twenty minutes. Every time he saw her, she had turned red and focused on Naruto instead of him. What, was she embarrassed about something? There was no way she could know he was her father.

Jiraiya exhaled a cloud of smoke. He was sitting in a small clearing, legs crossed, back pressed up against a log. He hadn't had a good roll in the hay for two days.

Two days!

He really needed some time with an attractive woman, and right now, he would have given his left arm for it.

He looked up at the sky. The large, puffy clouds all seemed to morph into Tsunade in various states of undress. He really missed that woman, and that night with her fourteen years back had been the best night of his life, even if the both of them had been drunk out of their minds.

He giggled perversely before he saw two shuriken flying at him. He yelped in surprise and scrambled behind the log, said log taking the shuriken for him.

Footsteps. "You can't get rid of us that easily!" Jiraiya heard Naruto shout.

Jiraiya flicked through some hand seals and turned into a stuffed toad. That seemed to fool Naruto, who took one look at it, proclaimed it to be a substitution, and ran off.

Jiraiya returned to normal and panted heavily. "Oh, that was close. Ah, little squirt, he'll have to be a lot smarter than that to outfox the Toad Mountain Sage."

"Oh yeah? How am I doing now?" Naruto intoned, popping up from behind a nearby log.

Jiraiya's eyes widened as he recoiled in surprise. This kid was smarter than he looked. "Alright, kid, have a seat."

Naruto's face lit up and he leapt over the log, quickly plopping himself down at Jiraiya's side.

Jiraiya looked around, scanning the environment.

One rock looked suspiciously out of place.

He looked sternly at it. "Alright, sweetheart, you can come out now. I'm ready to negotiate."

The rock exploded in a puff of smoke and the girl nervously approached him, shakily sitting down next to him.

He looked down at the both of them "So, what are your na-"

Her face lit up. "MYNAME'SMAYUMIANDI'MYOURBIGGESTFANEVERI'VEREADALLYOURBOOKSSEE"

That was a nice name. He wondered if Tsunade or the people at Konoha Orphanage had picked it.

She produced three books from a large pouch on her hip: The original _Icha Icha_ , _Icha Icha: Paradise_ , and _Ero Ero: Paradigm._

He didn't let it show, but he felt a bizarre hybrid of pride and horror when he saw those books. If she had been a boy, it probably just would have been pride, but there was something about his little girl reading what was basically pornography that really rubbed him the wrong way, even if he had written it.

…"his little girl?" Who was he kidding? He didn't deserve to call her that. He hadn't raised her. He hadn't been there for her. He hadn't taken her to school in the mornings. He hadn't made her food or taken care of her in any sense of the word. He hadn't earned the right to call her his daughter, which meant he hadn't earned the right to control or mandate what she did.

He smiled warmly and took the books from her hands. "Would you like me to autograph these?"

She nodded enthusiastically.

Jiraiya smirked and placed the books inside his haori, Mayumi's expression turning from almost worshipping back down to skeptical.

It was time to get down to business. Naruto wanted Jiraiya to train him? Fine. Mayumi wanted him to autograph her books? Great! But these kids had to do something for him first. "Alright kid, I'll admit, you're not entirely without talent."

He sat up. "Does that mean you'll train me?"

"Now hold on, squirt. It's a question of quid pro quo."

Naruto cocked his head to the side in a strangely familiar way. "What?"

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

He turned his head to Mayumi. "Same goes for you, sweetheart"

Mayumi was silent, but Naruto seemed to understand that. "Oh. So what do you want?"

Jiraiya giggled perversely and stood up, turning back to face the two kids. "You really ought to know by now."

"I like 'em ripe and luscious with curves like that, see?" He traced an hourglass figure with his hands, "And big, but not _too_ big, you know what I mean?"

Naruto nodded. "I think so."

Mayumi leaned over to talk in Naruto's ear. "He means a girl, Naruto."

Naruto looked surprised, somehow. "Oh."

Jiraiya grinned. "Yep! You find me somethin' like that and I will train you 'till the cows come home!"

Naruto stood up. "You will? No lie?!"

"The Toad Sage never lies." Jiraiya claimed dramatically.

Jiraiya looked at Mayumi. "And I'll sign anything you want!"

Mayumi stood up after Naruto. "We'll be right back!"

Both of them ran off towards the village.

Jiraiya wondered what kind of woman they'd come back with, if they managed to in the first place.

Then he spied a woman wearing distractingly tight shorts and began pursuit.

* * *

"Then I said: 'Not with my rice bowl, ya don't!'"

Jiraiya laughed heartily, as did the two lovely women he was with. Maybe it was just the sake this place served, but these two actually seemed to like him. They had laughed at all his stories so far, but that last story tended to crack everyone up. The one time he had managed to get Taiga Saejima drunk, and both had woken up the next morning naked, in a ditch, with only Jiraiya's rice bowl. Saejima had requested to use Jiraiya's rice bowl to cover his nethers and, well, the rest was history.

"That story's pretty funny!" One woman said. Jiraiya hadn't bothered to learn her name.

"It is, and it's not just a story. Every word of it is true."

"Really? What happened next?" The other woman asked. He hadn't learned her name either.

"Well, then Saejima decided it was a good idea to-"

"HEY, PERVY SAGE! WE FOUND SOMEONE!" Jiraiya heard Naruto scream from outside the building.

The first woman giggled. "What? Did he call you 'pervy?'"

"Worthless little-" Jiraiya started.

Then the woman that walked through the door jammed up his brain. Drool dripped down his jaw and hit the floor with a dull splat.

He had been looking at the ground, so the first thing he saw was her legs: Long and shapely, but very muscular and toned. Her skin was like porcelain, very pale, but there wasn't a vein or wrinkle in sight.

Perfect.

Her legs led into wide, beckoning hips that betrayed a large, heart-shaped backside. Moving up from there, a swimsuit concealed a narrow waist and a toned, flat stomach. If he knew anything for certain now, it was that this woman was a kunoichi. No one short of a fighter was this fit.

His eyes widened when they wandered up to her chest. Her breasts were absolutely titanic, even larger than Tsunade's. They weren't the largest he'd ever seen, but they were still huge, and they were still perfectly shaped and perky; no sag in the slightest. He hadn't seen breasts that had been too big for him on women that were in perfect shape before, but he had now.

Her arms were lean, with muscles like steel cords, but still retained a certain delicacy. Whoever this woman was, she was a tiger in a the guise of a goddess.

Then he saw her face.

Her features were soft, but still well-defined, elegant, and regal. Her hair was a long, black, ethereal waterfall that fell down to her waist. It was glossy and shimmered purple when the light hit it just right.

She was gorgeous in every sense of the word, the epitome of youth and beauty and everything that was wonderful about the world.

But this woman had stopped becoming a lust object for him at this point.

Jiraiya was an animal, but he wasn't so awful as to want to have sex with a woman that he had known when she was a little girl.

He laughed heartily with a large grin. "Himawari!"

Himawari squealed in joy and tackled Jiraiya to the floor, laughing like a little girl.

* * *

Himawari sat cross-legged on the riverside with Jiraiya, watching Naruto and Mayumi work on their chakra control and occasionally splash each other with water. The sun had started. Neither had really talked to each other in any substantive sense, in part because they needed to adjust to seeing each other again, but primarily because Naruto had been so incredibly pushy in getting straight to training.

She hadn't seen him in so long, she had almost thought she had misheard Naruto when he had come to her in the middle of her nap, mouthing off about needing her so that some 'pervy sage' could train him. She hadn't minded, hell, she had even decided to stay in her swimsuit just to screw with him.

She glanced over at him, lips curling into a smile. "You got old."

Jiraiya snickered. "And you grew up and out. How much do those things weigh?"

Himawari looked down at her chest. "I need a reinforced bra for the damn things. They just get in the way."

Both were silent for a while.

Jiraiya broke the silence. "So."

"So." Himawari said.

"You, uh, you ever get a handle on the Flying Thunder God jutsu?" Jiraiya asked awkwardly.

She shook her head. "Nope. I could never quite figure that one out. Minato passed away before we could finish lessons."

"Oh yeah."

Silence.

Jiraiya cleared his throat. "I, uh, I heard that you-"

Himawari cut him off. She knew what he was going to say. "Yeah, I'm a mom now. His name is Eiji. He's ten years old, about to turn eleven."

Jiraiya grinned. "That's great! When can I meet him?"

"He's in the hospital right now."

Jiraiya grimaced, sucking in air through his teeth. "Yikes. What for?"

"I'm not sure exactly, but I know he did something in the Chunin Exams preliminaries. Used up too much chakra doing some high-level jutsu, probably. He does that a lot."

"That doesn't sound healthy."

"Yeah, it's not." She said, shaking her head. "I'm worried that he throws everything he has into a fight every time he gets into one."

"And how often is that? If he's anything like you, it's gotta be every few minutes."

Himawari shook her head again. "No, he's more like his dad."

"And that would be..."

"Itachi Uchiha."

"Oh." He said quietly.

More silence. She couldn't blame him. That was the typical response she got whenever she told someone who his father was. She wouldn't ever go out of her way to tell people, but she wouldn't hesitate when someone asked. Sure, it sometimes responded in people heckling them, but her response to said heckling was to send those people to the ICU.

"Well, I'm glad that you at least took my advice to talk to him." Jiraiya conceded with a shrug.

Himawari was too. Even if that relationship had ended in the tragedy of the century, it had produced the center of her universe: Eiji. It had also led her to adopt Sasuke and Naruto, the two other lights of her life. "Me too." Was all she said.

"Does his being like Itachi involve the random bouts of fratricidal rage?"

She glared at Jiraiya. "Jiraiya, that is not okay." She growled, warning him to never compare Eiji to his monster of a father.

Jiraiya held up his hands defensively. "Alright, alright, sore topic, I'm sorry."

Himawari frowned, looking away from him.

Jiraiya sighed. "Anyways, what's with the 'Auntie Hima' thing?"

Himawari's smile returned. "After the Uchiha Massacre, I took Sasuke in. A little while later, I adopted Naruto too."

"That's very good of you, but going from one kid to three that fast? That's not a good idea, Himawari."

She scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "Yeah, I didn't really know what I was doing for a while then, but I had the means to raise them, and I learned fast. Iruka helped out with babysitting when he could. Anyways, what have you been doing?"

"Just wandering around. Seeing the sights, feelin' up different ladies. Me stuff." Jiraiya said with a shrug.

Himawari narrowed her eyes. She was an experienced kunoichi, she knew when someone was lying to her. She would wait to call him out on it, though, when the girl that couldn't be anyone _but_ his daughter wasn't around.

She pointed to Mayumi. "That one's on my son's team."

"Really now? That's interesting." Jiraiya said, obviously concealing some kind of emotion. Himawari couldn't tell what it was,, but he'd always speak in ambiguities when he was concealing his own feelings, at least to her.

"That's one word for it. I'd say it's fate, personally." Himawari said pointedly.

Jiraiya narrowed his eyes suspiciously, but said nothing, turning back to the river.

As she watched Naruto and Mayumi's chakra control practice devolve into playfully splashing around into the water, her thoughts turned to Eiji. How would he interact with Jiraiya? What would Jiraiya tell him? Would Jiraiya want to teach him anything, or would Jiraiya, like so many of the older villagers, want to keep a close eye on Eiji just because of his being Itachi's son? He wouldn't like that very much. Himawari didn't either, but Eiji really just didn't understand how horrific what Itachi had done was. He was two at the time, how could he? And it wasn't like she was going to tell him what had happened in any more graphic detail than "one night, your father decided for some reason to murder his entire clan, including his parents." What weight did that hold to a child?

She looked up at the sky. "It's getting late. I should get Naruto back home."

"You wouldn't happen to know where Mayumi lives, would you?"

Himawari stood up and dusted herself off. "You can ask her yourself."

Himawari didn't really know why she was being so hostile towards Jiraiya after all this time. She contemplated this even as she got Naruto back home and got him into bed, herself going to bed as well. As she lay there, staring at the ceiling, she considered it further. Perhaps it had something to do with her believing that abandoning one's own child was the most horrendous thing one could possibly do to their child, short of infanticide.

She also was never a huge fan of womanizers, men that played with a woman's legitimate feelings for the purposes of sex. They were scum.

She tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in.

She didn't sleep well that night.

She never did when Eiji wasn't at home.

* * *

 **A/N:** And so, there you have it. Mayumi and Jiraiya are like Minato and Naruto: The hair gives it away instantly, and only the kid is the one that can't see it. How many characters are there that have naturally white, spiky hair? Only two of them that I can think of, and one of them is an albino (Tobirama). Don't expect that lack of understanding to be there for long, though. Orochimaru loves to manipulate people, and he has masterfully sewn the seeds of doubt in Eiji's and Sasuke's minds about Himawari, Itachi and everyone they love or used to love, really. Sure, he's a terrible person, but one has to respect his brain.

As for the relationship between Himawari and Jiraiya, it used to be relatively happy and stable, much like the relationship between two friends, but Himawari is more mature than Jiraiya is now. Jiraiya is just kinda stuck at a certain point in emotional maturity, but Himawari's and adult now, through and through. She also has minimal tolerance for womanizers, and even less tolerance for people who abandon their children. She doesn't know that Jiraiya actually had no idea Mayumi existed up until now, but for now, she's treating it as if he did know and was avoiding the village because of her.

And reunions aren't always happy and clean. Jiraiya had left before Minato died, and Himawari wasn't exactly happy that he hadn't come back to help her get over it. News of it spread far and wide, but he never came back. She didn't know he was tracking the Akatsuki, though. How could she?

In sum, miscommunications lead to The Bad Things™ (advice that could solve all of my life's problems, in hindsight).

Lastly, the name "Mine" is pronounced "Mee-neigh," and if you want a preview of these characters (Shun Akiyama, Tetsuo Tamashiro, Futoshi Shimano, and Yoshitaka Mine), look 'em up. One is a playable character in Yakuza 4 and 5, and all four of them are bosses at some point in the series.

 _~Essence of Clotheslining_


	20. Chapter 19: Phantoms

**A/N:** And back to Eiji. Eiji's a tough character to write because, well, he's ten years old. Ten-year-olds typically don't have a very realistic world view, nor do they typically have good critical thinking skills. Keeping him balanced, a character that's pretty advanced for his age but still very much a child, is a very hard thing to do for someone who turned nineteen a few weeks back. It's been so long, I can barely remember what my thought process was like. It's also difficult to write a character of his immense skill at such an early age but not have him come off as overpowered. Sure, you can read what I say about him, and you're more than welcome to ask any questions you want about him, but unless it's in the story itself, it isn't believable.

Eiji won't have many problems overcoming challenges in physicality and combat. He's gifted in the art of war in both theory and practice. What he will struggle with, and what the primary focus of this story will be (especially after the timeskip), are his relationships with others and his own emotional problems, of which there are many. He's suspicious of attackers every waking moment. What do you think that does to a kid's perception of other people? Do you think he'll be capable of trusting others he doesn't already know? Definitely not. How do you think a kid that's been diagnosed with depression would handle having to engage his surrogate brother in combat? Not well, probably. Do you think he'll be capable of emotional intimacy as quickly as some people? No way. Combat and action are all well and good, and where Eiji's going there will certainly be plenty of it, but in the end, what's more interesting? Two people shooting magic at each other, or two people having a heartfelt conversation? I firmly believe it's the latter.

* * *

Chapter 19: Phantoms

Eiji kept his eyes closed when he first awoke, deciding to examine his surroundings with his Byakugan. He was back in the hospital. His arm was in a cast, and it pounded like mad. So his arm was broken, and the Curse Mark hadn't mended his arm, it only deadened the pain. As much as it hurt, that was useful to know.

Anko sat in the corner of the room, asleep, with a kunai in her lap. Eiji looked around, and saw Sasuke in a bed on the other side of the room, to his left. Unlike Eiji, he had not been strapped down.

He opened his right eye the slightest bit, so he could see through the walls. Anko didn't seem to notice. There were two guards standing outside the room. Both were armed, a man with a sword and a woman with what looked like a bladed _kiseru_. The looked very tired, like they were barely standing up straight. Upon further examination, one of them actually _was_ asleep. There was a seal on the door that prevented people from using the _shunshin_ to enter the room.

He searched around for his mother's distinctive chakra. He couldn't find it.

That meant it was safe for him to start moving.

He sat up with a groan, doing his best to stifle his groans of pain. Everything hurt. He looked down at himself in greater detail, both eyes open now. He had been stripped to his underwear, placed in a hospital gown, and there was an IV in the crook of his elbow. He quickly removed it, flicking a switch on the machine and turning off the flow of saline. . He stifled the bleeding with the bed sheets, ripping a segment off and creating a makeshift tourniquet with it. While he waited for the bleeding to stop, a small piece of paper on his bedside table caught his eye.

 _The Uchiha Compound. Your father's quarters._ It read cryptically.

He picked up the note and folded it in half, placing it inside a pocket of his boxer shorts.

So someone was waiting for him there? Orochimaru, perhaps? That was a lead he had to follow. He had never seen the inside of the compound either, and he had always wanted to.

He looked around the room, and spied his clothing in a nearby trash bin. Focusing in on it with his Byakugan, he saw that it had been torn to shreds, particularly around the sleeves on the hoodie and around the ankles on his pants.

Wow. So he had torn up his clothes, too? If that was what happened to his clothing, he pondered in morbid curiosity how his opponent, Dosu, was doing. Had he even survived the assault, or was he dead? Eiji didn't want to think about that now, so like many other things that caused him emotional distress, he bottled it up and shoved it in the figurative corner.

Eiji's arm stopped bleeding after about half a minute, and he carefully undid the makeshift binding, creeping out of bed and towards the open window. It was the middle of the night, so it wasn't like anyone was going to see him like slid through the window and clung to the side of the building with his chakra, silently sliding down and hitting the ground running. He knew where the compound was, and he got there quickly enough.

Eiji stood in front of the archway that led to the Uchiha compound. It was simple enough, as were the homes within. Simple, traditional architecture and simple dirt roads. Every structure was emblazoned with at least one Uchiha clan symbol.

He entered the compound, scanning the area for other people.

Nothing came up.

Was this a trap? His Byakugan's range was about three miles, maximum, and that was about the size of the compound. Not a soul to be found. There were a few animals here and there, but no people.

He curled his hair around his body to form a makeshift cloak. The wind was strong tonight, and while Eiji had always preferred cold weather to hot weather, that was under the assumption that he was wearing clothing more than a thin, frail hospital gown and boxer shorts.

As he looked around, searching for Sasuke's old home, he began to understand where rumors of this place being haunted came from. Even as someone who had been far too young to understand the Uchiha Massacre at the time it happened, and as someone who was incredibly skeptical of myth and legend, Eiji could still feel...something in the air. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but when he looked at a house that probably used to have a family living in it, a completely normal, benign, stable family, and now to see it be in exactly the same state as it had been eight years ago…

He shivered.

After searching for a while longer, he stopped and scratched his head. None of the homes were labelled by owners, only numbered addresses. How was he supposed to find it?

He removed the note from his tank top and unfolded it. Willing to try most anything at this point, he shook it around.

Nothing happened.

 _Yes, Eiji. Good idea. Shaking the paper around is productive._

He frowned and looked at the back of the paper. Maybe he needed to look at it closer. Maybe someone had indented the paper with an inkless pen to write instructions. He could probably read those if he had his Sharingan active; he had been able to decipher every code Ryuji through at him with it, why not this?

With Eiji's left iris turning blood red and tomoe swirling into existence around his left eye's pupil, words appeared on the paper.

 _The address is 0451._

Oh.

Finding the house was relatively easy after that, and when he did, he was surprised.

The image Eiji had of his father's clan was a group of problematic, highly unstable people, Sasuke being the only exception because Himawari had gotten to him early enough. Their history even said as much. Historically, the Uchiha created conflict after conflict after conflict until one of the other noble clans, primarily the Senju (a now defunct clan because of the First Hokage's infamous womanizing and resultant dilution of the direct bloodline, and the Second's supposed infertility or celibacy) or the Hyuuga, or even Konoha's government themselves shut them down.

This was why Eiji was so surprised when he saw a normal, two-story family home. He hadn't expected normalcy; domesticity. He didn't know what he had expected, but it certainly wasn't…

...this.

There was only one entryway to the home, the rest being surrounded by a wall about four feet high. He walked through the entryway and past a few dead potted plants and a few more dehydrated sakura trees. There was a small rock garden to his left.

Eiji paused, staring at the abandoned building. He had expected it to look sinister.

It really just looked sad.

Eiji shook his head in an attempt to clear his head before entering the building.

Everything looked normal. Mostly. A vase had fallen over, there were a few scattered books on the floor, and everything was caked in dust, but everything else looked completely normal.

He looked around, and decided to check the screen door on his left.

When he opened it, he immediately regretted doing so. There were no bodies, but bloodstains covered nearly every surface.

This was where his grandparents were killed, and if the bloodstains were any indication, they hadn't been murdered so much as vivisected.

To hear his mother talk about them, Fugaku Uchiha was a textbook curmudgeon, but a good, decent man, and Mikoto Uchiha was a saint with borderline infinite patience. Even though Itachi and his mother had never married, both of them had been wholly supportive of their relationship, even promoting it as an exemplary way to bring new ideas, new blood, and new strength into the clan. By and large, they sounded like wonderful people, very similar to Himawari, and like people Eiji would have loved to meet.

What in the world had possessed Eiji's father to make him do this?

Eiji recoiled and turned around, walking up the stairs and entering the first door on his right. The building blocks and child's toys within revealed it to be Sasuke's. A dusty stuffed panda lay in the middle of the room. He walked over to it and picked it up, dusting it off. For some reason, something about that stuffed toy made Eiji incredibly sad. Tears welled up in his eyes. Was this Sasuke's? Had he left it here when he had to run from Itachi? Had no one thought to return this to him?

"Rather melancholy, isn't it?"

Eiji dropped the stuffed panda and turned around, activating his eyes and raising his fists. He was met by a cloud of pungent smoke. He waved his hand in front of his face, coughing.

Hiruzen Sarutobi, the Third Hokage, stood there with his pipe. Eiji blinked, confused. Why was the Hokage here? "Lord Hokage? What, how, er, why-" He stumbled, blinking the tears from his eyes.

Hiruzen's expression was unreadable, in part because of the darkness, in part because of the hat, and the rest because Eiji was so busy feeling a lot of very strong emotions that he had difficulty deciphering another's. "You got your team through the second phase of the exams unharmed and passed the preliminaries. This is what comes next."

Eiji remembered his agreement with the Hokage, but he was still confused. Eiji had just assumed that he would be treated as a normal participant after the second stage, not whatever this was.

Eiji's confusion was apparently enough of a response. Hiruzen motioned for Eiji to follow him. "Follow me, son."

"Um, okay..." Eiji followed Hiruzen out of the room, almost forgetting to pick up the stuffed panda. He followed him back down the stairs and through a doorway that he somehow hadn't noticed before. The room following the doorway was sparsely decorated, furnished exclusively by an extra-long twin-sized bed and a small desk. On that desk, among other things, were framed pictures of a much younger Himawari with a man whose visage tickled Eiji's brain. He looked relatively young, perhaps sixteen or seventeen, and in each and every one, he had a wide, even goofy grin on his face, and Himawari looked happier than Eiji had ever seen her before. In some images, there was a baby, and in some more, there were two older people: a woman that looked like Sasuke and a grumpy-looking man with spiky brown hair parted in the center. In some of these images, the woman that resembled Sasuke was holding the infant.

Eiji felt sick. Those images hurt to look at. He turned to the Third Hokage. "Why are you showing me this?"

"This was your father's room."

Eiji felt sicker. It wasn't nausea, just a feeling of profound unease that had situated itself at the forefront of his mind. This was where his father had lived.

Before this moment, Itachi Uchiha had been an abstract concept in Eiji's mind. He had been a name, a thought, a phantom. He hadn't been real. Now, though, as Eiji stood in the room that his father had lived in up until eight years ago, he came to a realization.

Itachi Uchiha was not a phantom.

Itachi Uchiha was very, _very_ real, and he had made a phantom of the Uchiha Clan.

He had wiped nearly every trace of life from the Uchiha Compound. Men, women, even other _children_. Infants. Babies. Pregnant mothers and soon-to-be fathers. And he had done it so quickly that aside from the dust, it looked as if everyone had simply disappeared. If Eiji had been born Uchiha and not Hyuuga, he may have died along with them.

Eiji had escaped his father's wrath on a technicality.

He would have laughed at the irony if he didn't feel so sick.

Sasuke had seen this happen. He had seen the bodies in the street. He had smelled the blood, heard the screams, felt the pain of watching his brother destroy everything he loved.

Eiji could not imagine what that was like.

"Why are you showing me this?" Eiji asked, averting his eyes from photographic evidence of better days.

The Lord Third approached the center of the room and wove some hand seals, placing his hand on the floor. Suddenly, the floorboard slid back and revealed a stone staircase that led to what looked like oblivion. Hiruzen silently motioned for Eiji to follow him. Eiji obliged.

Was this a dream? It was definitely surreal enough to be one. He was with the Hokage, so he wasn't in any danger, but everything still felt almost illusory. He wasn't under the influence of a genjutsu, his eyes told him as much, and his other senses were working just fine, especially his pain receptors.

Those were working far too well.

After a minute or so of walking, they met two massive wooden doors. There was a small mark in the center of the doors, just above the handles.

Hiruzen looked down at Eiji. "I cannot get us any farther. Place your hand on that seal." He commanded, pointing to the seal.

Eiji was skeptical. "Why?"

"Your father locked the next room with his chakra. Yours is similar enough to his that it should let you in."

Eiji's eyes flickered in-between Hiruzen and the wooden doors. "What's in the next room?"

"You'll find out," was all Eiji received in response.

Eiji took a deep breath, partially to steel his nerves and partially out of frustration, and did as he was commanded, placing his hand on the seal and channeling his chakra into it. In response, the seal faded and the doors unlocked. Eiji pushed the doors open with his good arm and entered what looked like a dojo. The room itself was shaped like a large box. Weapons of all kinds adorned the walls, the floor was matted, and the walls and ceilings were comprised of panels. Further inspection with the Byakugan revealed that there were kunai launchers behind every single one. In the center of the room was a seal that, when examined with the Byakugan, contained incredible amounts of vibrant red-orange chakra.

His father's, most likely.

This must have been where his father had trained, but why had the Hokage taken him here?

"Why did you bring me here?" Eiji asked, effectively repeating his earlier question.

The Hokage sighed, exhaling another cloud of smoke. "Your father was the best shinobi this village has seen since the First Hokage."

To hear the Hokage admit that even he was inferior in power to Itachi Uchiha was...something. Eiji didn't know whether to feel some kind of perverse pride or terror. Truthfully, he felt both.

He hated himself for that.

Hiruzen continued. "Before the Uchiha Massacre, he did more good for the village than most of his generation combined. He kept Konoha safe and stable."

It was strange to hear the Hokage say good things about his father, and for some reason, they made Eiji feel the slightest bit better about himself.

Then he felt bad again.

"I do not know why he did what he did, but he cared about this village, and he cared about you and your mother most of all. He would have done anything to keep you two safe." Hiruzen said, locking eyes with Eiji.

Eiji looked at the ground, face scrunching up in consternation. Had the Uchiha threatened him and his mother? Was that why Itachi had killed them? From what he knew about the Uchiha, at least from word of mouth and history books, he wouldn't put it past them. They held grudges, and they treated honor like it was a commodity that could be bought and sold with blood. Had they perceived Eiji and his mother as such a besmirchment of the Uchiha's honor that they had been planning to get rid of them? That didn't warrant the slaughter of the entire clan, but it would certainly explain a lot.

The ethics of this situation were muddy at best. One one hand, assuming Itachi had killed his clan to prevent the death of Eiji and Himawari, Eiji was thankful that he and his mother were alive. On the other hand, this had come at the price of an entire host of other mothers and children.

Sacrifice the needs of the many for the needs of the few, or the needs of the few for the needs of the many?

Kill the mother of your child and your own son, or eradicate your clan?

What was the right answer to that question?

Was there one?

Was Itachi a monster, or was he just in the worst situation in the world, and had been forced to make an impossible choice?

"Itachi was and remains a monster for what he did, but he was an incredible shinobi. You have the potential for even greater things, and you could do wonderful things with that power." Hiruzen stated, voicing his opinion on the matter.

Eiji was silent. He couldn't think of anything to say in response to that. His mother had told him something similar; that as a person with his talents and potential he would often end up in a position of power over others, but she had always stressed personal responsibility and a sense of empathy as being incredibly important for leaders, perhaps even more than power. That made sense to him. Sasuke seemed to have difficulty understand that concept, though.

The Hokage inhaled deeply, then exhaled. "Eiji, I'll be blunt. The only way to get stronger is to challenge yourself, and because you clearly outclass the majority of your peers, I strongly recommend that you supplement any training from Ryuji or your mother for the Chunin Examination Finals by training here. Your father did the same when his peers stopped being a challenge for him."

Did he really "outclass" most of his peers? His success in the preliminaries had been because of the Curse Mark and Kazuko's ingenuity. He had been blessed with mixed Uchiha/Hyuuga blood, and he had always taken to combat and the arts of war like a fish to water, but what did that mean? Was that really how the world worked? Were some people simply inherently better than others? If that was the case, what should he do with that information?

He scratched his head, refocusing on the situation at hand.

The Hokage's suggestion was a good one. He could train himself here, and that would enable him to improve his basic skills and develop some form of fighting style that used only one arm. His own taijutsu style (which was, as stated above, still quite half-baked) required regular use of both arms and legs and incredibly precise chakra and bodily control to utilize, and with one arm out of commission, that wasn't going to work.

Eiji looked around the room, and something caught his eye. An _o-wakizashi_ lay sheathed on the floor. It was near the length of a katana, but it was small enough for him to use it was one. He walked over to it and picked it up. He was surprised by how light it was. He had read about swords in-depth one day out of boredom, and he felt rather proud of himself for being able to identify every part of the weapon, months after he had done the reading. The sheath ( _saya_ ) was black lacquered wood, and was very smooth to the touch. On the tip of the sheath was a small piece of blackened metal ( _kojiri_ ) etched with three tomoe, like a fully-matured Sharingan. Upon further examination, every metal part of the weapon but the blade itself had that same theme: the guard ( _tsuba_ ), the reinforcement for the blade ( _habaki; seppa_ ), the collar of the blade ( _fuchi_ ), the metallic ornaments that aided in gripping the handle ( _menuki_ ) beneath the black silk wrapped around the handle ( _tsuka_ ), the hook-shaped bit of metal ( _kurigata_ ) that held the black silk cord ( _sageo_ ) in place, the butt of the grip ( _kashira_ ), everything. Two items were slid behind the _kurigata_ : a small, thin, knife and a pair of black metal chopsticks. Eiji removed the sheath carefully and examined the blade itself. It was relatively ordinary-looking, in contrast to the blade, excluding the _hamon_ , the blade's temper-line. It was completely straight. Eiji tapped the point of the blade, and immediately regretted doing so. It was incredibly sharp. He sealed up the small puncture wound in his finger with medical ninjutsu quickly enough, but it had still given him quite the scare.

The Hokage chuckled. "Oh yes, I remember that blade. Your father received it as a gift for becoming an ANBU captain, but I don't believe he ever used it. Far too flashy for his tastes."

Eiji slid the sheath back over the blade and looked over at the Hokage. He didn't care that this had been his father's, a tool was a tool, and this was a hell of a tool. They may not have been to his father's tastes, but they were certainly to his. He was holding onto this thing. "What am I allowed to take from here? Clothes, weapons-"

"If I remember correctly, the house is technically Sasuke's, but this room and its contents are your father's. You can keep the blade and anything of his. But, I must warn you, if you begin to walk around the village in Uchiha garb, with an Uchiha blade, people may start to talk." The Hokage warned.

Eiji kept holding on to the sword and searched around for something like a clothing rack or a wardrobe. That might not be a bad thing. If Uchiha clothes and an Uchiha blade would make him more intimidating, that would likely ward off potential attackers and provide an added psychological edge to a fight. He didn't necessarily need to front being weak, he could probably achieve better results by intimidating his opponents. Besides, the "feigning weakness" routine probably wasn't going to work anymore after his performance in the preliminaries.

Even so, the question remained if he wanted to associate himself with the Uchiha. He was of Uchiha blood, and to call their clan "understaffed" was an understatement of epic proportions. Sasuke wore Uchiha garb proudly and chiseled the Uchiha clan heraldry into every last one of his kunai, and no one seemed to look at him funny for it. Well, most all of the girls did, but they would probably do that regardless of what he was wearing.

The Third Hokage cleared his throat loudly after a few minutes of Eiji digging around. "Ahem, um, Eiji, I'm guessing that any clothing that might fit you would be in Itachi's old room."

Oh yeah. That made a lot more sense than searching for clothes in the _training room_.

 _You made yourself look like an ass in front of the Hokage. Again. Good job._

"Right. Heh heh, whoops." Eiji said awkwardly, turning back to the stairs.

Hiruzen patted him on the back with a small chuckle as they walked up the stairs. "I'm sure your mother will come by as soon as the hospital's visitor hours start with some fresh clothing."

Great. Letting his mother choose clothing for him would likely result in some kind of pastel-colored Hyuuga clan uniform. He didn't really have much in the way of clothing. A lot like Naruto, he was seen almost exclusively in the same outfit (and he didn't seat very much, so he could wear the hoodie and the pants multiple days in a row, if not the underwear and the tank top), and he only got new clothes when his old ones either became too small or were irreparably damaged. It wasn't like his mother didn't offer regularly enough, he just preferred what he was used to.

Wait.

Wait a minute.

Wait just a _damn_ minute.

His mother.

Himawari.

She had returned from her mission.

 _She was in the village._

Eiji's stomach tied into knots. He felt like he was going to throw up. His mother was rarely mad at him, but when she got mad…

...she got very, very, _**very**_ mad.

As in, "didn't stop yelling at him for more than an hour" mad.

Eiji buried his face in the stuffed panda. "Oh man, my mom's gonna kill me..."

Hiruzen laughed at that. "I doubt that very much."

Eiji gave him a look of complete confusion. "Are you saying she _won't_ be mad at me?"

Hiruzen laughed again. "Oh, no, she'll be absolutely livid, but I doubt she'll harm you."

Oh, _that_ was helpful. "Maybe I can hide here for a month."

"Oh, stop whining. She's going to chastise you for it eventually, you may as well get it out of the way now."

He was right. Eiji would just have to sit and take his mother's yelling.

Oh joy.

They reached the top of the stairs, and Hiruzen patted Eiji's back again. "I imagine you'll require time to process...this." He said, motioning around the room. "Do what you need to do to think it over and clear your heart and mind, but ensure sure you've returned to your hospital room by sunrise."

Eiji sighed shakily. Those pictures were hard for him to handle. The idea of his being 50% genocidal maniac made him feel sick.

Hiruzen walked out the front door and started towards the compound's exit.

Eiji had more questions to ask. "Lord Hokage?" Eiji called after him.

The Hokage stopped and turned around. "Yes, Eiji?"

Eiji walked up to him, and presented the stuffed panda to him. "Could you have this sent to my house, please?"

The Hokage took it from his hands. "This?" He asked incredulously. "Why would you want this?"

Eiji didn't really know why, but for some reason, he felt like it belonged at home.

"I think it's Sasuke's. It was in what I think was his room." Eiji explained.

The Hokage nodded. "Okay then, I don't see why not."

Eiji dipped his head. "Thank you."

The Hokage nodded and turned away before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

Eiji was once again alone. Sighing, he turned back to his uncle's old home and reentered it. With the Hokage gone, the house seemed to regain its haunted feeling.

Eiji gripped the wakizashi tightly. He was a skilled hand-to-hand combatant and had always been one, but from what Ryuji had told him, that didn't deter attackers, especially non-shinobi attackers, nearly as much as a blade.

Hands could be used for many things.

A sword had one very clear, distinct purpose: to kill.

Most people were more scared of blades than another person's hands.

He entered his father's room and quickly found the closet. He was surprised that most of it was intact. Most of it was too big for him, but he found a few things that fit. He grabbed a high-collared black kimono, black obi, black pants, and sandals. Apparently, his father's taste in clothing was very similar to his own.

He folded it all over his arm and and traversed back to the hospital as fast as he could. Climbing back in through the open window was difficult with a sword in one hand and a pile of clothes in another, but he had his hair still. He maneuvered it into the room and adhered it to the inside walls, pulling himself in. He used chakra to suppress his footsteps as he walked over to a dresser and proceeded to load the clothing and sword inside it. He would put in on when he was ready to leave, hopefully before his mother got there. He crept back to his bed and climbed back in, folding the blanket to hide the ripped fabric. He could probably pass off the torn-out IV as being an accident; he had always been an active sleeper.

He yawned soundlessly. Why was he so tired? Oh well, it didn't really matter. He was glad he was getting some sleep. Maybe because he was so tired, he wouldn't have nightmares?

Once again, his hopes were in vain. This time, he dreamt of his father mutilating or killing him in various ways.

* * *

The Hokage reappeared in his office. He sighed tiredly, sitting down at his desk. Speaking with Eiji was very exhausting, not because he was a difficult child, it was quite the opposite. Eiji would forever remind him of his greatest failure, and speaking with Eiji at the site of his greatest failure was even worse. He looked over the village elders that had convened here: Danzo Shimura, Homura Mitokado, Koharu Utatane, and the Hyuuga Clan elder, Haru Hyuuga. The last one was only here because, well, he had forced his way in.

"You spoke with the boy?" Haru asked.

Hiruzen nodded. "I did."

Danzo's one visible eye blinked slowly. "And?"

Hiruzen sighed tiredly again. "I... do not know. He barely said a word, but he did not seem particularly averse to training the same way as Itachi."

"'Not averse' is not the same as ready and willing, Hiruzen." Danzo intoned.

Koharu frowned at Danzo. "Do you honestly expect a ten-year-old boy that was just given clandestine instructions to visit the place of his paternal family's genocide after being assaulted by Orochimaru to be capable of-"

Hiruzen cut her off before she could start an argument. "He took an interest in his father's blade and attire, I believe he'll listen to us."

Danzo perked up somewhat. "It sounds as if he is beginning to identify with the Uchiha more. That may be a good thing."

Hiruzen cough, rubbing his forehead with a groan. "This doesn't feel right."

Danzo grimaced more than usual. "What is one boy's childhood when compared to the sake of the village?" It was more a statement than a question.

"That kind of thinking forced us to banish our best shinobi." Hiruzen contested, referring to Itachi.

Homura raised a hand. "Hiruzen, we've said this several times already and we'll probably have to say it again: the circumstances are different. The risks are much less. The Uchiha are gone."

Koharu looked at Homura, shaking her head. "Not all of them. He is still Uchiha and still prone to the same problems they were. We'll have to keep a close eye on him as he progresses; ensure he gets psychological help where he needs it, and he will _certainly_ need it."

Haru huffed indignantly. "Eiji is Hyuuga, not Uchiha. He will not fall prey to the Curse of Hatred. The Hyuuga live by the Will of Fire, and the Will of Fire is stronger in his mother than any other Hyuuga." He clenched his fist and pounded it once on the floor for emphasis.

Homura's expression grew frustrated. "Haru, he will. He has awakened the Sharingan, which means he will fall prey to the Curse of Hatred. That is generally what happens when an Uchiha awakens the Sharingan. Once something traumatic enough happens, he will awaken the Mangekyou, and if you continue to insist that he is fine when he clearly is not fine, he will only get worse and more resentful. A man that resents the village is not likely to protect it to the best of his ability."

Hiruzen was growing tired of this. "Is that what we're going to be doing with the boy? I was under the impression that you wanted to turn him into a living weapon that would be used to smite Konoha's enemies." He jabbed.

"A sword can parry and deter attacks, Hiruzen, but you wouldn't know that. You use a staff. A blunt, unwieldy instrument only good for knocking those you disagree with about the head." Danzo jabbed back.

Koharu snapped her fingers, ending the bickering before it started. "I swear, you two are like children sometimes."She grumbled, looking between the two of them.

Both Danzo and Hiruzen mumbled some very uncomplimentary things about each other.

A minute or so passed before Hiruzen exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Are you all certain about this?"

They all nodded. Danzo spoke. "Hiruzen, we won't have to worry about this. Eiji will keep our village safe for years to come, either as the Hokage or the strongest shinobi we've ever seen. His father never succumbed to the Curse of Hatred, and he's half Hyuuga. I do not see what reason we have to believe he has or will fall prey to it. Kagami didn't, and his grandson Shisui did not either."

Homura raised an eyebrow. "Other than his brutal and self-destructive tendencies in combat, you mean? I saw the security footage of his fight with that Sound shinobi. I've never seen such brutality from one of our Genin."

Haru waved his hand dismissively. "Bah. He is merely young and stupid. His mother was, no, _is_ the same way. Both will grow out of it, and Ryuji's training will temper him quickly enough."

"I think it's more likely that the Curse Mark was doing that to him." Hiruzen suggested.

Danzo nodded. "We need to remove both his and Sasuke's as soon as possible." He looked at the others. "Does anyone have any leads on that? Have we made any progress?"

Koharu nodded. "I have scouts searching Uzushiogakure for something that might work."

Hiruzen coughed. "Good. Contact Kirigakure, ask them if they know of any potential remedies. Not seals, we want a means of removing the mark permanently."

"Isn't the Mizukage visiting right now? Couldn't we ask her?" Haru asked, cocking his head to the side.

So _that's_ where Himawari got it from.

Hiruzen rubbed his forehead with a groan. The sense of entitlement Haru had was almost as big as Hokage Rock. "I very much doubt she'd be willing to return all the way to Kiri to dig through some dusty old scrolls, and I doubt even more that she brought any with her."

Haru grumbled in response to that.

Hiruzen waved them away. "Alright, then. Dismissed."

All four elders in attendance bowed before standing up and exiting the room.

This decision hung heavy on his heart, knowing what he would be putting Eiji through for the sake of Konoha's protection, but there was no doubt in his mind that he was making the right decision. It hurt, but he was doing the right thing. Theoretically, Eiji had the potential to become another Madara Uchiha in terms of power, as had Itachi, but the Uchiha had created so many problems that the village elders, specifically Danzo, had been forced to use Itachi not as a protector or leader, but as a martyr.

The same would not occur with Eiji. He would make sure of that.

If, no, _when_ he was promoted to Chunin, he would be immediately start leading B-Rank missions. He was affined to fire and lightning, so mastering a lightning jutsu in addition to his fire-breathing techniques wouldn't be that difficult for him. He already had tremendous skill in taijutsu, his Sharingan allowed him to copy most anything within his capabilities, and his seal allowed for perfect chakra control, meaning that ninjutsu and genjutsu would likely be quite easy for him. A promotion to Jounin would happen in short order after enough B-Ranks and enough training from Ryuji. By then, he will most certainly have lost some comrades in combat, and will have awakened the Mangekyou. At that point, Eiji would receive the eye left to him by Itachi and Shisui, and obtain the Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan. The whole time, he would be in the company of loved ones and family, ideally keeping him from falling prey to the Curse of Hatred.

He would keep the village safe.

The only wildcards were Himawari and Orochimaru. If Himawari ever discovered what their plans were for Eiji and that his rapid progression wasn't natural or coincidental, they'd have hell to pay.

Similarly, Hiruzen wanted to wait to do anything with Eiji until Orochimaru left or was forcibly removed from the picture. He Orochimaru ever managed to recruit and subsequently brainwash Eiji, all that power would be in the hands of a maniac with a god-complex.

Hiruzen sighed again, sending smoke billowing throughout the room. He needed to decompress after a discussion like that, and he knew just the thing.

He reached into one of his desk drawers and removed his copy of _Icha Icha: Paradise_ , opening the book up to where he had left off last week. He began to read.

* * *

When Eiji awoke for a second time, he didn't bother with any particular form of subtlety. He sat up and looked over at Sasuke's bed.

Sasuke was no longer there.

His heart began to pound far too fast. Had someone gotten to him?

Then, suddenly, Anko's face was an inch from his. "Morning!"

Eiji yelped and almost attacked Anko.

Nearly jumped out of his skin. This woman could scare him too easily for his liking.

Anko started giggling. "Ha! The look on your face, heh heh, oh man. No, don't worry, little man. Sasuke's with Kakashi."

Eiji exhaled in relief. So Sasuke was safe.

Anko chuckled darkly. "You're not outta the woods yet, kid."

Eiji paled as the door practically exploded off its hinges.

Uh oh.

His mother stormed in. Her face looked like it was going to explode. It would have been rather comical if she didn't look so angry. "What in the hell were you thinking?! I expressly forbade you from participating in the exams, and your teacher did too!"

Eiji was silent. He only now processed that it was now morning.

She threw her hands in the air. "And what did you do?! You didn't listen to me, your mother, or Ryuji, your teacher, you did what the fuck you wanted! You could have gotten yourself _killed!_ "

Eiji remained silent. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he felt his face twitch. Did she think he was weak? Did she think he wasn't strong enough for the exams?

Himawari drew in breath shakily, exhaling it as she sat down on the side of his bed. "Do you think I'm stupid, Eiji? Is that why you think you can lie to me all the time and get away with it?"

Eiji caught his breath. She knew. "I don't-" he lied.

She snapped her fingers, cutting him off. "There you go again! You lie and manipulate to get what you want and you don't care at all about what that does to the people around you!"

Eiji's chest hurt. His eyes felt puffy and he felt tears roll down to his mouth. He tasted salt. She wasn't wrong. He had weaseled his way into the exams and dragged his team along with him, but it had been a calculated risk. Kazuko was an incredibly healer, he was a good combatant, and Mayumi was extremely durable in addition to being extremely strong. They would be fine, and they had been fine, even _after_ Orochimaru's interference.

Eiji spoke in a brittle voice. "Mom, I knew what I was doing. We all knew what we were doing, and the Hokage-"

"I don't give a shit what the Hokage told you! I care about what I told you! I care about what Ryuji told you! We both told you that you weren't ready yet!" She shouted. She was crying now too.

Did they both think he was too weak? That he wasn't strong enough? He was absolutely strong enough! All they had to do was ask Anko, for heaven's sake. She would tell them that Eiji had absolutely destroyed his competition, who had been four years older than him.

A nurse looked in the doorway, expression betraying fear. "Um, miss, it's eight in the morning, some people are still-"

Himawari whipped her head around in the nurse's direction. "BACK. OFF." She commanded the nurse.

The nurse squeaked and ran away.

Himawari turned back to Eiji, sighing as she wiped her eyes. "You're in big trouble for this, mister."

Eiji, for some reason, started feeling angry. "Yeah? I'm in trouble for getting to the finals? Is that it? Or am I in trouble for getting my team through _the Forest of Death without a scratch._ " It was more of a statement than a sarcastic question. He may have disobeyed them, but his performance in the exams more than should have made up for any transgressions he made.

Himawari's expression shifted from rage to shock and back to rage in an instant. "Don't you _dare_ turn this around on me! You endangered yourself and your team!"

Eiji's tears flowed a bit faster now. "No, I didn't. They're fine." He choked out.

"Eiji, _you are arguing fact._ You dragged your team into the unknown! You had no idea what you were going to be facing and you were perfectly okay with that! That's a bad thing, Eiji!"

"Mom, nothing bad happened to them!"

Eiji could not understand why she was so incredibly angry.

"You're still missing the point! Eiji, you were willing to sacrifice your team for your own advancement. You should be able to see the problem with that!"

Eiji was yelling now. "Why are you so angry about this?!"

She threw her hands into the air again. "Why am I so angry?! How can't you understand yet?!"

"Mom, I made it to the finals and my team is fine! Why are you so angry?!" Eiji shouted back, voice brittle.

Himawari let out a frustrated groan, and buried her head in her hands. Eiji briefly looked at Anko, who may as well have been munching on popcorn.

Himawari looked up and threw her hands in the air again. "If you want to do everything yourself, I guess you'll just have to prepare for the finals without my help, then."

That wasn't a threat. He had alternative methods of training. His grandfather had offered to teach him multiple times, and he had access to his father's old training room.

That didn't mean it didn't sting like hell, though.

Eiji pushed himself out of bed, tears in his eyes and whimpering like an infant. He hated himself right now. He was showing weakness.

Himawari grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. "No, you're not leaving yet. You still haven't-" She stopped mid-sentence, eyes widening. Eiji followed her gaze down to his chest.

He had ripped the gown in his sleep.

His Curse Mark was exposed.

"Oh no..." Himawari breathed, anger disappearing with the color in most of her face.

Eiji hastily covered his mark up by drawing his hair in front of it. "Mom, I'm fine."

She knelt down and wrapped him in a hug. "I'm so, so sorry..."

What did she have to be sorry about? She didn't do anything. "I thought I was supposed to be the one apologizing." He said, attempting to alleviate the tension with a joke.

She shook her head, hair swishing around. "No, no, that mark trumps anything I could have punished you with a hundredfold."

What did she mean by that? It had helped him pass the preliminaries. It had given him power. It had helped him survive. It wasn't like he was about to ignore this opportunity to evade punishment, but it was still strange.

She pulled away, but kept her hands on his shoulders. Her eyes were red. "We, uh, we have a lot to talk about," she said, wiping her eyes again. "Anko?"

Eiji noticed Anko was attempting to sneak out the door. She silently released her grip on the doorknob and plopped herself down in one of the chairs next to the bed. "First thing we're talking about in years and it's Orochimaru? You think we could save it for another time?"

Himawari released Eiji and walked over to Anko. "Did you seal it up?"

Anko averted her eyes from Himawari, scratching the back of her head awkwardly. "Uh, yeah, but what-OOF"

Himawari squeezed Anko tightly. "Thank you."

Anko awkwardly patted Himawari on the back. "Uh, sure?"

Himawari released Anko and patted Eiji's bed. Eiji sat down, and she sat down next to him. "So, do you want to start? You have anything you want to ask me?" She asked him.

Eiji coughed, wiping the tears, that had stopped flowing since his mother had hugged him, from his eyes. His throat felt tight. "Uh, yeah. Can I have some water, please?" He choked out.

In spite of herself, Himawari grinned, laughing. "Heh, uh, yeah. Anko, would you mind-"

Anko stood up and walked towards the door. "Yeah yeah, I'll be right back." She exited the room and shut the door.

Himawari breathed deeply again. "So, anything other than water?"

There was a lot to ask. There was Orochimaru, there was Itachi, there was the Uchiha in general. He decided to start with Orochimaru. "The guy that gave me this mark, what's his name? He told me to tell you 'Oro-sensei says hello.'"

She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, clenching her fists. After roughly twenty sseconds of deep breathing, she opened her eyes an unclenched her fists. "His name is Orochimaru. He was my Jounin-Teacher."

"...oh." It was all Eiji could think of to say.

"Yeah. He got kicked out of the village before you were born."

"For what?"

"Human experimentation and crimes against humanity. He started capturing people and experimenting on them." Himawari said without missing a beat.

"...oh. That's, that's not great." Eiji said, blinking in surprise. In hindsight, he shouldn't have been surprised. Orochimaru had pulled off some things Eiji hadn't known were possible.

She shook her head. "No it isn't. His doing that was my primary reason for taking up assassination missions, actually. I was fourteen, I think, when he-"

Himawari stopped mid-sentence,activated her Byakugan, and caught a water bottle flying straight at her head. She turned in the direction the bottle had flown from. "Screw you, Anko."

"Fucking Byakugan..." Anko grumbled, having returned to the room.

Himawari passed Eiji the bottle. "Thanks."

Himawari nodded as Eiji took a sip of water. "Sure. But to keep things short, I took up bounty-hunting to try and find him. I don't know why he marked you, but you need to be careful."

"Why? I mean, I believe you, but why?" Eiji asked. After learning that, he had no doubt that Orochimaru had nothing but bad intentions, but he still wanted to know why exactly the mark was bad.

"The mark screws with your head. Makes you more aggressive, more violent. Your mommy would know." Anko interjected.

Himawari nodded in agreement. "Anko used to be pretty normal, then she got that mark and, now she's, well..."

"Crazy?" Anko suggested.

"Uh, yeah. Crazy." Himawari conceded.

Eiji looked down at his hands. "I feel pretty normal."

"It happens slowly. I didn't even notice it." Anko said with a shrug.

"We've both dealt with it before, we can help."

Anko snickered. "Heh, yeah. Your mommy kicked my ass a buncha times whenever I started flyin' off the handle."

Himawari frowned, looking at Anko. "It wasn't like I _enjoyed_ it, Anko."

Anko laughed again. "Oh, that is such bullshit! You loved it!"

Eiji's eyes flashed between the two women. All he could think of was Naruto and Sasuke.

Himawari sighed. "Anyways, if either of us start to see something, we'll tell you, and if you start feeling anything, talk to us."

"I'll try my best, I guess." He offered, shrugging. He had always been pretty self aware for a kid, or at least his mother had told him he was, but if it happened slowly, would he even be capable of noticing it happening?

Himawari rubbed his head, smiling. "That's all I'm asking for."

He looked up at her, and he was reminded of the pictures he had seen in his father's room in the Uchiha Compound. "Hey mom, could we talk alone for a minute?"

Himawari looked over at Anko. "Do you mind-"

Anko was out the door faster than any dojutsu could track.

Himawari blinked. "That was fast."

Eiji frowned. "I don't think she likes us very much."

"No, it's just me that she doesn't like. Anyways, what is it?"

How could he present this question? He didn't want his mother to lose it again. He could probably safely blame this on the Hokage. "The Hokage, um, the Hokage showed me the Uchiha Compound last night. Sasuke's old house."

"Oh. Did, did he talk to you about anything?" She kept her voice controlled, but she was clearly forcing it.

Memories of the night prior flashed through his mind. Pictures of the family he would never know. "He, uh, he brought me to Itachi's old training room. He said I should use it to prep for the finals."

Himawari breathed carefully and nodded almost hesitantly. "That's...a good idea, I think. Your dad did a lot of bad things, but he was really, really strong."

Eiji nodded. "The Hokage said that too. He talked about how I can get stronger than my, uh, dad."

Eiji felt strange using that word. He had rarely ever used it before. To him, "mom" meant "parent," and vice-versa. His mother had fulfilled both roles. A "dad" or a "father" was something almost everyone else had. He didn't have one, and he frankly didn't want one. He loved his mother more than anything in the world.

She nodded. "I'm sure you could be, but you need to remember to use it well. Don't abuse it. Don't flaunt it. Don't make fun of other people for not having it."

Eiji was a lot of things, but he wasn't a bully, and he would never be a bully. He had seen the effects of bullying on Naruto, and they weren't pretty.

He shook his head vehemently. "No, of course not."

Himawari grinned, kissing the top of his head. "That's my boy."

Eiji felt warmth flood into his cheeks. She could always make him feel better, even if she had only been yelling at him a few minutes ago.

He got back up and walked over to the dresser. "The Hokage said I could take anything that used to be Itachi's, and, uh, well?"  
Himawari walked over to him and crouched down. "Is that...?"

Eiji removed the wakizashi from the dresser, gripping it by the handle, almost like a club. "The Hokage said this used to be Itachi's, but that he never used it."

She carefully but swiftly removed it from his hands,examining the weapon and twirling it around in her hand. "Well, I think he used it to cut a birthday cake once, but I don't think it's ever drawn blood."

Eiji looked up at his mother hopefully. "Can I use it?"

She averted her eyes and sighed. "I'd prefer it if you knew how to use it first, Eiji."

That was disappointing. He really wanted to get to cutting things ASAP. "Oh." He said, disappointed.

Himawari kissed his forehead. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure Ryuji could teach you something."

It only occurred to Eiji now that Ryuji had actually never unsheathed his sword before, at least not that he had seen. Still, he carried it around for a reason, which most likely meant he knew how to use it. "When can we go talk to him?"

Himawari thought for a moment. "I think he's taking Kazuko down to Tanzaku Town right now."

"What? Why?"

Why was Ryuji taking Kazuko down to a gambling/red light district? That was the "least-Kazuko" place he could think of.

* * *

Kazuko looked up at Ryuji nervously. So far, she had seen no less than five muggings.

And she'd only been in Tanzaku Town about three hours.

She wasn't used to this kind of place. Konoha was by no means an economic powerhouse, but it was at least a safe place for a Leaf ninja. This place, she wasn't so sure. With Ryuji, she knew she was safe, but there was still something off about the place.

"Ryuji-sensei? Are we, erhm, are we close?" She asked, impatience and nervousness starting to affect her voice.

Ryuji stopped and looked around. "Yeah, this looks familiar. Ish."

"Ish?"

Ryuji scratched the back of his head, the smoothed out his hair. "Uh, well, Kazuko, I haven't seen the guy in-person for about six years now. The last letter I got from him said he was in the same place."

"What's the name of his business again?"

Ryuji shrugged. "I dunno, but I think it was something like 'Sky Finance' or something. Akiyama's not good at naming things."

It didn't sound like it if he had named his moneylending practice 'Sky Finance' of all things.

They walked a bit further down the street, and were still unable to find Akiyama's business. She really wished Eiji was here, he could just use his Byakugan to see through the mess of buildings and alleyways and find the place in an instant.

Ryuji sighed exasperatedly and rubbed his eyes. "Alright, I'm gonna try and get a better view from the rooftops. Go sit down over there and try to look like you know where you are. I'll be back in a few minutes." Ryuji instructed, pointing at a nearby bench before disappearing in a flash of electricity.

Kazuko looked down at her clothing. Yeah, someone dressed in shinobi fatigues and a lab coat wouldn't have any trouble at all fitting in among a bunch of completely normal people.

Definitely not.

Kazuko sighed and walked over to the bench, sitting down. It hadn't been a very long trip down here, perhaps a day or so. She wondered how Eiji was doing, but given that her mother was taking care of him, Kazuko wasn't very worried about him.

What she was worried about was Temari, her first opponent. Temari had taken out Tenten, an experienced Genin, in less than a minute.

Nonetheless, Ryuji had said Akiyama was a close-range fighter, and Temari didn't look particularly close-range oriented. Similarly, Wind Style was unique in its effectiveness against itself. A wind-natured jutsu, at the right angle, could plow straight through wind jutsu of a higher caliber, something no other natured jutsu could pull off. Lightning-natured jutsu could do something similar, but not to the same extent as wind.

If she could outclass Temari in skill, if not raw power, she could probably pull it off.

She looked around. As a Leaf kunoichi, and a medical one at that (of which there were precious few), attacking her would be extremely unwise, so that was probably why no one nearby even so much as looked in her direction. If she happened to make eye contact with someone, they would quickly look away and avoid her gaze, even if she had waved at them.

It was an odd feeling, being "Other." Was this how Naruto had felt?

"Rough day?"

Kazuko nearly jumped out of her skin. She looked to where the voice came from, and saw a man. He was taller than most men she was used to seeing (excluding Ryuji), maybe about 5'10 (about 177 centimeters). He was wearing black dress slacks, black dress shoes, a black dress shirt worn with the first few buttons on the top undone, and a vermillion sportcoat worn completely unbuttoned. Said sportcoat was extremely wrinkled and didn't appear to have been properly dry-cleaned in years. Around his neck was gold chain, ornamented by a one-ryo coin with a hole punched in it. He wore a gold wristwatch on his left wrist. The man himself was rather nice to look at. He had a long face, handsome face and a mischievous glint in his large, expressive eyes. Black, slicked back hair covered his head and scruffy stubble covered his upper lip and chin.

For some reason, in spite of his appearance, he didn't seem particularly untrustworthy to her.

Kazuko shook her head. "I wouldn't say rough, just...draining." She said, looking around at the various seedy and likely illegal things happening.

The man sat down next to her with an exhale. "Yeah, that's Tanzaku for you. First time here?" His voice was like silk.

She nodded.

The man leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He looked at her. "What's a person like you doing here? You look like a doctor."

She didn't see the harm in telling him. "I'm a medical kunoichi."

He leaned back, somewhat surprised. "Really? You look a bit young for something like that."

She had heard this dozens of times, and it frustrated the daylights out of her. Just because she was a kid didn't mean she was unable to perform complex medical procedures. Just because she was a kid didn't mean that she couldn't look at blood and gore without vomiting.

"Technically, I'm my mother's apprentice, but I'm looking to become a Chunin soon so I can practice on my own." She explained.

The man smiled, reaching into his breast pocket. "Good for you. I bet it pays really well."

He removed a cigarette-holder from his pocket, and subsequently removed a cigarette from the holder. He snapped his fingers and a small flame appeared on the tip of his thumb. He lit the cigarette and let it dangle from his lip. He shook his hand and put out the flame.

Wow. That kind of control over natured chakra was incredible. To be capable of freely manipulating it like that instead of simply performing a specific jutsu with it…

...wow.

Kazuko frowned disapprovingly at the cigarette. "That's not good for you."

The man coughed. "I know." He deadpanned, taking a drag from the cigarette.

Unfortunately, before she could respond to that, a group of seven thugs approached the two of them.

The man smiled at them. "Hey, guys. How're you doing? How's the business treating you?"

The apparent leader of the bunch, a large, muscular man dressed like a thug, spoke. "Word on the street is that you picked a fight with my guys, Akiyama. Know anything about that?"

 _This_ guy was the man she had been looking for? The man that smelled like cheap cologne and tobacco that looked like he hadn't changed clothes in three years?

Akiyama shrugged. "I dunno. Couldn't you ask them?"

The leader folded his arms. "Their teeth are all gone and their jaws are shattered. They can't talk."

Akiyama looked like he legitimately pitied this other man. "That's a shame. I'm sorry about that."

"We know it was you, and we don't tolerate someone disrespecting our guys. Even you."

Akiyama shrugged, shaking his head. "You got the wrong guy."

The leader's eyebrow twitched. "Like hell we do!"

The leader looked down at Kazuko and made a grab for her. Kazuko instinctively leaned back, and Akiyama grabbed the man's arm. "I told you that you got the wrong guy, but did you listen?"

The leader struggled. Akiyama's grip didn't let up.

Akiyama looked at Kazuko with an almost bored expression. "Watch carefully." He instructed.

Kazuko nodded nervously.

The leader roared, freed himself, and aimed a punch at Akiyama.

Akiyama moved his head out of the way, but otherwise stood perfectly still while his attacker stumbled around. He turned around to look at Kazuko. "See that? I didn't jump out of the way, I moved just enough to avoid the attack. Conserves energy."

The leader of the group growled and aimed another punch at him. Akiyama kicked the man in his nether-regions without turning around before performing a backflip and catching his foot on the back of the man's head, sending him straight down into the ground with a dull _thunk_. He groaned, writhing around on the ground.

Akiyama landed on his feet, wobbling a bit. He stood up straight and looked at Kazuko again. "Never be afraid to attack an opponent's vulnerable point. If they're trying to kill you, like these idiots," he said, motioning to the six stunned men that remained, "then anything goes."

He crouched down and looked at the man almost curiously. He poked the man's head. "Buddy, you still awake?"

He looked back up at the rest of the thugs. "I don't think he's still awake. What do you guys think?"

Three of the six came to their senses and rushed him all at once, one straight at him and two from behind him. Akiyama grinned mischievously and kicked the one sprinting at him in the stomach. He then used the man's head as a springboard to backflip clumsily into the air. His feet came crashing down on the heads of the other two, sending them to the ground. Akiyama himself landed on the ground, lacking any real semblance of grace. He stood up with a groan, straight into one of the thugs' fists. Akiyama stumbled back, holding his face. He lowered his hands and shook his head, frowning.

He growled and butterfly-kicked one of the men in the chin, sending him flying into the air. Akiyama backflipped into the air and Kazuko saw him concentrate wind-natured chakra around his left shin. Akiyama brought it back down on the man's ribcage mid-air.

Then, a lot of things happened.

Fortunately, Kazuko knew enough about wind-natured chakra to be capable of deciphering exactly what happened.

It didn't require that much chakra to form a wind-shell around something, but controlling it with one's chakra is extremely difficult, even for a veteran shinobi. Maintaining that shell was even harder, and the result of that shell being disturbed was a concussive blast of epic proportions. Akiyama had moulded the chakra around his leg, meaning that when he kicked the man in the ribcage…

*BOOM*

Akiyama kicked the man and the shell of wind chakra detonated, sending the man flying down to the ground, cracking the earth and flinging the other two thugs out of sight at incredible speed with a vortex of wind that nearly sent Kazuko flying away.

Akiyama landed on one foot, wobbling around as the vortex dissipated. He quickly steadied himself, and looked back at Kazuko, panting. He rubbed the back of his head. "Oh man, I really need to quit smoking."

Kazuko heard a window open on one of the two-story buildings nearby. She focused on the window, and saw a round-faced, angry-looking woman leaning out of it. Her brown hair was tied in a tight bun atop her head, and she was wearing a purple floral-patterned yukata.

"Mr. A! What are you doing?!" She screeched at him.

Akiyama turned pink. "Well, Hana, I, uh-"

"Stop picking fights with every thug that looks at you funny!" She scolded.

Kazuko stood up. "He didn't start that fight, ma'am," she said, pointing at the leader of the thugs, "that guy did."

The woman, presumably Hana, looked at the downed thugs. "Oh, you don't need to cover for him, sweetie. This happens all the time." She said sweetly.

All the time? Akiyama got into fights in the street _all the time_? Why did that happen? He seemed like a nice-enough man.

Then, suddenly, a lightning bolt came from the sky and struck right next to her. She was used to dramatic entrances like this. Akiyama wasn't. He fell on his rear in surprise.

Ryuji materialized where the bolt had struck.

Akiyama blinked in rapid succession before grinning widely when he saw who it was. He stood up with a groan, dusting off his rear. "Hey, Ryuji. Long time no see."

Ryuji smiled and nodded. "It's been a while. You get my letter?"

Akiyama removed a crumpled piece of paper from the inside of his sportcoat. "Uh, yeah," he said, pointing at Kazuko, "she's the one, right? I didn't just finish lecturing a stranger, did I?"

Kazuko nodded. "I think so. My name is Kazuko Hoki."

Ryuji just nodded again.

Akiyama shrugged, placing the letter back in his coat. "Sorry to break it to you, Kazuko, but I've never had a student before. I'm willing to teach you, that was why I explained what I was doing when I took out those thugs, but-"

"Mr. A! Don't be rude! Invite the girl in!" Hana shouted from the window.

Ryuji held up a hand in her direction, as if to say "wait, please." He turned to Akiyama. "Akiyama, I'm callin' in a favor for this one. She's training for the Chunin Exams and needs a tutor that can help her with Wind Style jutsu."

He shrugged again. "I wouldn't exactly call what I do 'jutsu,' but it sure does work."

Kazuko surveyed the damage again. Between seven unconscious thugs and a few thousand ryo in property damages, Kazuko could say with the utmost confidence that it did, in fact, work.

Kazuko then noticed that Akiyama was sporting a black eye. She approached him and held out her hand. "Could you lean over, please?" She requested politely.

Akiyama looked over at Ryuji with a sheepish expression. Ryuji frowned and motioned for him to do so.

Akiyama hesitantly leaned over. Kazuko placed her hand over Akiyama's black eye and left it there for about eight seconds. After removing it, his black eye had disappeared.

Akiyama stood back up straight and felt around his previously swollen eye. He looked down at

Kazuko. "You said you were a _Genin_?"

Kazuko nodded, smiling. "I've been one since March."

Akiyama looked at Ryuji disbelievingly. "What have you been feeding this kid?"

Ryuji grinned. "This one's got a knack for healing the same way you've got a knack for kickin' people."

Akiyama nodded slowly in understanding, something seemingly clicking in his head. "Oh, okay."

"My mother's been teaching me medical ninjutsu since I was six." Kazuko added.

Kazuko's parents were incredibly demanding people in regards to her progression as a kunoichi, but she had always been able to provide.

Ryuji looked up at Hana. "Hey, Hana."

Hana waved enthusiastically at him.

Ryuji patted Kazuko on her shoulder. "Well, I'll leave you three to get acquainted. I gotta teach Mayumi some things before the finals; help her work on this idea she had."

He looked at Akiyama. "Take care of her, alright?"

Akiyama nodded. "Uh, yeah. Absolutely."

"Akiyama..." Ryuji warned.

Akiyama grinned. "She'll be fine. Remember that time I had to babysit Haruka for a week? How is this different?"

Ryuji looked at Akiyama dryly. "First, you're going to be housing Kazuko for three and a half weeks, not just one, and second, you don't have to worry about Kiryu if something happens to her. You'll have to worry about me. Get the picture?"

Akiyama's eyes widened. He gulped nervously, looking around. "Uh…"

Kazuko was starting to think that Akiyama would need more "babysitting" than she would.

* * *

Himawari looked at Eiji in the Uchiha clothing he had retrieved from the Uchiha compound. He was using his forehead protector as a belt to hold the kimono in place, but the rest was a perfect fit. The resemblance between him and his father was positively uncanny. She saw a lot of herself as well, but with the high collar and the big, expressive eyes, all she saw was his father.

Eiji looked up at her expectantly. "Do I look okay?"

Himawari nodded, smiling. "You do! It's nice to see your face."

Eiji smiled bashfully.

She crouched down and gave him a hug with her right arm; her left was holding Itachi's old wakizashi. "You need to learn how to take a compliment, Eiji." She suggested, rubbing his back.

He didn't respond. Eiji had never taken compliments very well. It was something she had tried to work with him on, but progress was slow-going.

Himawari heard someone in heels walking towards the hospital room. Her Byakugan revealed it to be Sayuri. She entered the room, still staring at a clipboard. "Eiji? How are you-"

Sayuri looked up from her clipboard. "Oh, Lady Hyuuga. Are you here to take him home?"

Himawari nodded. "Yeah. Anko let me in."

Sayuri sighed tiredly. "She didn't have the authority to do that."

Himawari frowned, locking eyes with Sayuri. "Is that a problem?" She asked, gripping the wakizashi more tightly.

Himawari liked Kazuko, but she was not particularly fond of the way her parents operated. Far too strict, far too controlling. Rules were rigid for them, but because Himawari counted as nobility, she had the power to bend, twist, even override said rules. She didn't normally take advantage of that power, but she believed that the best thing for someone after a while in the hospital was rest in their own bed.

Sayuri's eyes darted between the sheathed blade and Himawari. "N-no, Lady Hyuuga. I'll go get the discharge papers."

Himawari grabbed Eiji's hand. "Mail them to me." She instructed, starting towards the door. She was fully aware that discharge papers didn't function like that, but she didn't really care right now.

Her son didn't move. Instead, he removed his hand from Himawari's and held up his broken arm to Sayuri. "Mrs. Hoki, is, uh, is there anything you might be able to do to fix this now?"

Sayuri shook her head. "No, I'm sorry. Come back in a week. Your bone should be healed enough for one of us to fix it fully."

He smiled. "Thank you."

Sayuri smiled back. "Of course."

"Thanks. C'mon, Eiji." She said, grabbing his hand.

Eiji waved goodbye to Sayuri as the two of them walked out the door and towards the stairwell.

"Hey mom?" Eiji said, tugging her arm.

She slowed down, looking down at him. "Hm?"

"I don't think I've gone to the bathroom in two days." He said, voiced suddenly strained.

Her eyes widened. She quickly scanned the environment for the closest restroom. Upon finding it, she rushed him there as quickly as she could. He entered the restroom, and she leaned up against the wall adjacent to the door, letting go of a breath she hadn't noticed she'd been holding in.

Eiji had had a rough couple of days, and she felt tremendously guilty over yelling at him and making him cry. She was justified in being angry, and she'd talk with him later about it, but after a run-in with Orochimaru, his own mother screaming and swearing at him was the last thing the poor kid needed. She couldn't imagine what the pain was like. Anko had screamed until her voice went hoarse, and the thought of her baby suffering like that...

She clenched her fists so hard she cracked her knuckles. She didn't care that Orochimaru had been her teacher. If he showed up here again, she'd kill him.

And she wouldn't be quick about it.

She planned to make a _mess_.

She heard a toilet flush, then a sink turn on. Soon after, the sink turned off, and Eiji exited the bathroom.

She looked down at him. "Ready to go?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

They joined hands and walked down the stairs and into the lobby.

On their way out of the hospital, she heard Eiji's stomach growl.

He looked up at her. "Hey mom?"

He would almost always say "hey mom" before asking her for/about something. Aside from her thinking it was adorable, she knew what he was going to ask for.

"Yes?"

"Are you angry about something?"

That took her by surprise. "I'm a little frustrated about you sneaking into the exams, but other than that, no."

"Why?" He asked, legitimately confused.

Both of them were much calmer now, so there were minimal chances of this turning into a screaming fest were minimal, but her boy needed food, and Ichiraku was pretty close by. There was also a chance of Naruto and Jiraiya being there, and in spite of their disagreements, she still wanted Eiji to meet the man. "I'll explain on our way to food. You need to eat. Is Ichiraku's okay?"

His stomach rumbled again. "Yes, please."

Himawari breathed deeply as they exited the hospital and walked in the general direction of Ichiraku Ramen. "Eiji, the reason I was angry with you, the reason I _am_ angry with you, is because you violated my trust."

"But I got to the finals." He protested. He didn't sound angry, just confused.

Maybe she should provide an example. "Eiji, if you asked me to not go on a dangerous mission, I promised I wouldn't, then you left for a week, and when you came back I had gone on the dangerous mission and was in the hospital, how would you feel?"

Eiji thought for a moment, eyes seemingly defocusing. "Frustrated and worried."

Himawari nodded. "Right."

He frowned. "How much did you get paid for the mission? What did you accomplish?"

That was an interesting question. "Let's say I took out a small army of outlaws and got paid a few-hundred thousand ryo for it." That was usually what her typical mission amounted to.

He looked up at her. "Then I'd be worried about you, but I wouldn't be mad."

She was interested to see what his justification for that was. "Why?"

"You did your job and accomplished what you needed to do. Does it matter how?"

She frowned. "Eiji, in that situation, I violated your implicit trust that I wouldn't endanger myself. Trust is not something to be broken."

He looked like he was getting frustrated. "But if you completed the mission and got rewarded, why am I allowed to be mad at you?"

"Because I did something I promised you I wouldn't."

"Mom, that does not matter." He growled.

She sighed and squeezed his hand. So Eiji was a consequentialist. Just like his father. As he got older, the similarities were becoming much more apparent. It wasn't just the features, either. Eiji was socially challenged in many of the same ways as Itachi had been in his youth. He . The one thing that appeared to be different for worse instead of better was where Itachi avoided combat and sought generally peaceful resolutions as a result of his wartime experiences, Eiji seemed to be getting more aggressive. Some of it was probably the Curse Mark, if it worked that quickly, but some of it might just be who he was. She had read about child development more times than she could count, and she remembered reading that boys could hit puberty as early as nine years old. Could this argumentative nature only be a result of puberty?

She shelved that thought for now and looked down at Eiji. "We'll talk about it more later, when you've got some food in your belly. Sound good?"

"Fine." Eiji grumbled, clearly frustrated.

She grimaced in concern. This wasn't like him. Hopefully some food and rest at home would do him some good.

* * *

 **A/N:** And there you have it, folks. Eiji learns more about "Dear Ol' Dad," Kazuko meets Shun Akiyama and Hana, two more characters from Yakuza, then Eiji and hhis mom talk philosophy for a bit.

Akiyama's Theme: /watch?v=oEo2kqpEeOs

~Essence of Clotheslining


	21. Chapter 20: Twenty-Eight Days

**A/N:** Mayumi's teenage/adult voice actress voice actress would be Ohara Sayaka. I was digging around for someone that sounded like Tsunade, but with hints of Jiraiya. I hope that makes sense. I don't know if it does. He english voice actress would be Bonnie Gordon. That's Rainbow Mika from Street Fighter V.

ALSO: Eiji does something in this chapter that may or may not rub some readers the wrong way. It's completely accidental and he doesn't understand it in the slightest, but it happens.

Lastly, the title is just the amount of time left until the finals. That's it. It's not a reference to the horror film.

* * *

Chapter 20: Twenty-Eight Days

Eiji's eyes shot open. When he examined his surroundings, he found that he was safely lying in his own bed, not being chased by a few dozen giant snakes. He tried to pull up memories of the day before, and found none past his discussion with his mother. He looked over at the digital clock on his bedside, only moving his eyes.

12:48 P.M.

He frowned sleepily. How long had he slept? He needed to get moving.

There was a note on his bedside, written in his mother's busy scrawl. He groaned when he moved to pick it up. His broken arm still hurt, as did most everything else. Not quite as much as yesterday, but it still hurt. He could take some painkillers after he got up, but those wouldn't last forever. He picked up the note and blinked in rapid succession, clearing the sleep from his eyes.

 _Eiji,_

 _You were so tired after you finished eating yesterday that I just wanted to let you rest. We had an interesting discussion yesterday, and I think we should talk more later. If you want to find me, I am probably training Naruto down at that waterfall where you learned how to swim. I am sure he would love to see you._

 _Love,_

 _Mom_

After that, a smiley face.

Eiji found himself smiling at that.

 _P.S: If you need to shower, do not worry about the cast. Dr. Hoki says that it is waterproof._

So that's what happened. Now he vaguely remembered stuffing his face at Ichiraku and feeling pretty sleepy afterwards, but everything after and before that was still pretty blurry.

He placed the note back down on his bedside table and slowly rolled himself out of bed. Everything was stiff, and it hurt to move. For better and worse, though, he had found that the best way to alleviate aches and pains from exercise was more exercise.

Today, it would be painkillers and exercise, but it was normally just exercise.

He shuffled stiffly out of his room and into the pantry, where the medicine was kept. He grabbed a bottle of generic-brand pain medicine, opened the "child-proofed" lid and emptied two tablets into his palm. He dropped them in his mouth and swallowed them dry. It wasn't pleasant, but he needed to get moving as quickly as he could. He needed to put in as much training time as he possibly could between now and July 1st.

It just occurred to him that he didn't even know what day of the month it was. He looked over at the calendar his mother had pinned to the wall back in January, and found the first day that hadn't been crossed off by black marker.

It was June 4th.

He would be eleven in a little more than two weeks. It wasn't a significant milestone after hitting double-digits last year, but he was still feeling excited about it. Sure, it was childish, but he usually made out like a bandit on his birthdays. Last year, it had been a series of books about Konoha's history and many of its clans, which was where most of his knowledge of the village's history came from.

Eiji liked to read a lot.

He walked over to his bathroom and removed his underwear clumsily. He stared at the mark on his chest. He ran his finger over the thin, slightly curved lines and the seal that surrounded it. The pitch black mark felt identical to the rest of his skin, as if it was a part of him instead of a brand. Out of what he would describe as scientific curiosity, he examined it with an activated Byakugan.

He saw something very different.

The mark burned with an angry purple glow. Sasuke's chakra was purple as well, but this was different. This chakra was a lot more volatile than his. Sasuke's was relatively stable, though it would flare up on occasion if he got mad about something; a very rare occurrence. This chakra looked almost volcanic; a writhing mass of purple flames. He was painfully curious to see what it felt like. Every chakra signature had a distinct feeling; an emotion or memory it would invoke in him whenever he connected with it or absorbed it. What would this one do?

He needed to know.

He channeled some of his chakra into the mark, and immediately started feeling fidgety. Anxious. He needed to punch something. Destroy something. Kill someone. Kill lots of someones.

Eiji immediately disconnected his chakra from the mark, and the violent urges receded as the seal did the rest. He shook his head, clutching his forehead and breathing heavily. His heart pounded in his chest and he unclenched his fists.

 _Moron. Why did you think that was a good idea? You're starting to turn into Mayumi._

Eiji then began to question precisely why he had even considered Orochimaru as someone that might be worth trusting. If a small portion of his chakra felt like _that_ , then Eiji struggled to imagine what was going on inside the man's head. Whatever it was, he didn't think it could be very pleasant.

This was another instance where he probably should have listened to his mother. Anyone charged with crimes against humanity was more than likely a bad human being, to say the least.

He stepped into the shower and almost turned on the water before he remembered his cast. He probably couldn't get that wet. He examined his broken bone with his Byakugan. The damage didn't look too terrible. He could probably heal it up, then use something to remove the cast. He focused medical chakra in his good hand and gripped his broken arm tightly. He could see the fractures and other damages sealing themselves up. It was a fascinating thing to watch, if a bit eerie. When he was satisfied with the job he had done, he started looking the cast over, trying to figure out a way to remove it. Eiji returned to his room and retrieved the kunai from under his pillow and got to work, picking at it and sawing away at the cast.

It didn't budge. It wasn't even visibly damaged by his efforts.

He stared at the cast, frustrated. How could he get it off? Maybe he could use his hair? He slid it underneath the cast and hardened it with his chakra, trying to blow the cast off.

Nothing.

He frowned again. He didn't like it when things he tried didn't work, primarily because when he attempted something new, he usually got it on the first try.

He retracted his hair from the cast and stared at it a while longer. Maybe he could try shattering it by punching something with chakra-enhanced strength? There were a lot of giant rocks down at the waterfall his mother had mentioned, he could probably just go there to get it off.

Then he came to a realization, slapping his forehead with his non-casted arm. He could just melt the damn thing off in the shower.

Then he remembered the note, and slapped his forehead again. He had a bad tendency to skim things instead of read them when he thought he knew what they were going to say.

He stepped into the shower and mechanically completed his morning routine, finishing by towel-drying his hair, his body, then exiting the shower and walking over to his closet. He opened it up and was pleased to find his Uchiha garb had been either hung up on one of the hangars (the high-collared kimono, though it was really more of a robe or a coat, now that he looked at it more closely), or folded neatly on a shelf (the pants and the belt). He quickly put it on and tied his forehead protector around his waist in place of the obi he had found. He positioned his hair so that it covered one eye, like before. He channeled his chakra into the portion of his hair that covered his eye, effectively replicating what his forehead protector had done. He then examined himself in the mirror. He was surprised by what he saw. He hadn't actually seen what he looked like in these clothes before, and he had to admit that he liked what he saw, even if it felt strange to not have a hood over his head. He looked sophisticated. Dramatic, but still simple and practical. Best of all, he managed to feel like he was well-dressed without feeling nearly as stuck-up or snobbish as when he donned his Hyuuga-mandated formalwear. He always felt strange and uncomfortable when he put the kimono and hakama on, like he was needlessly flaunting his wealth and status as nobility. It also took an impractical amount of time to put on, especially the hakama. He preferred clothing that he could just slip on/into at a moment's notice.

He exited his room and grabbed his house keys. He examined the inside of the kimono, and found several pockets and pouches, presumably for kunai and other tools. In one pocket was his wallet, and another his sketchbook, both likely placed there by his mother. In each sleeve, there was a small mechanism, seemingly power by a spring-loaded wire, that looked as if it could hold a kunai. He walked over to the dedicated ninja tool closet (which usually had to be restocked every few weeks), opened it up, and started grabbing things: four kunai (and two in his sleeves), ten explosive tags (they were light), ten shuriken (also light), and a small container of Hyuuga Clan healing ointment (he could perform medical ninjutsu, but if he ran out of chakra and got injured, he might need something like this). He was going to close the closet when the wakizashi he had picked up earlier caught his eye. He wanted to take it with him, he really did, but he didn't know how to properly use it yet, so he left it where it was. He closed the closet door and looked down at himself again. He was really liking this robe/kimono/coat thing, whatever it was. It allowed for storage of far more items and strategic options than his hoodie, though he would have to find a new belt.

He walked over to the door, swiping his keys on the way, and reached for the doorknob. He took a deep breath, and opened the door, stepping outside. He closed the door behind him and locked it.

Eiji surveyed Konoha. It was sunny today, as to be expected. People walked around, discussing so many different things at once that Eiji couldn't pick out a coherent conversation if he tried. Birds chirped in the distance and wind pushed the trees around, occasionally disconnecting a few leaves and sending them through the air, off to other parts of the village or parts unknown.

Ejii found himself smiling. Even though it had only been a few days since he had been at home, it felt like a week, perhaps longer. It was good to have things be back to normal.

He looked around, searching the village with his Byakugan. It had been a while since he'd gone to that waterfall, and because he'd been focusing so much on his training and duties as a Genin that he'd forgotten where it was. If his mother was still there, her chakra would be easy enough to find. He searched around with his Byakugan, but he couldn't find anything. That was strange. Normally her chakra was immediately visible, no matter how far away he was from her. Maybe it was outside the confines of the village?

He rubbed his forehead in frustration. _Thanks a lot, mom. Would've been nice if you had told me where exactly to go, maybe given me, oh, I don't know,_ _ **a map.**_

He loved his mother dearly, but there were times where she could be more helpful or generally more specific.

Oh well. He'd see them later today, probably stopping at Ichiraku Ramen for lunch. Maybe he could do something else? He wasn't used to having downtime during the day; usually it was training. Perhaps he could go to the library and read about kenjutsu and iaijutsu? That could be valuable. He had never tried copying stances from images before, and maybe they had a film on basic _waza_ he could check out.

Eiji decided to go do that. He walked down the stairs and his eyes caught on the mailbox. He remembered what the Hokage said about receiving the tournament brackets in the mail. He approached the mailbox and opened it up. Inside was a large envelope. He grabbed it and removed it from the mailbox.

This was it.

This was who he'd be fighting.

He felt butterflies in his stomach.

He ripped opened the envelope, fingers shaking. He crumpled up the envelope and examined the brackets.

He felt relief.

Then anxiety.

Then catharsis.

Then back to anxiety.

Due to there being twelve finalists, the matches were structured a bit strangely. Eiji would be fighting someone named "Shigeri of Kusagakure" for the second match. Perhaps he was a part of Karin's team. He could probably get information on him from her. Assuming he won that fight, he would move on to…

...Kankuro of Sunagakure.

He would be fighting a puppetmaster.

That wasn't good. They creeped the hell out of him. Every single one he read about or saw pictures of looked absolutely horrifying, either because they were designed as such or they were so realistic they delved into "uncanny valley" territory. But, if he managed to get close, he could probably finish of the fight quickly enough. Assuming he won that match too, he would move on to one of three possible opponents: Neji Hyuuga, Naruto, or Shino Aburame. Naruto would first be fighting Neji. Tragically, Eiji saw no conceivable way for Naruto to win that fight, so Neji would then move onto Shino. Neji would probably win that fight too, if only because he had a year's worth of experience on Shino, so that meant Eiji would probably end up fighting Neji. That was a terrifying prospect; far more frightening than Kankuro. Neji was an incredibly angry person, and as far as Eiji could remember, he had despised Eiji with a passion. Perhaps it would be safer just to forfeit that one.

Moving on: Sasuke. Sasuke would be fighting Mayumi for the third match.

Eiji would remember to bring some kind of snack food for that fight.

After Sasuke won that match, he would move on to Gaara of the Desert. Eiji didn't know much about Gaara, but _Sasuke_ of all people had warned Eiji to steer clear of him, so he was probably quite dangerous. Not dangerous enough to take Sasuke down, probably, but still dangerous. After that, Sasuke would be most likely be fighting Temari. Temari would first be fighting Kazuko. That fight was not likely to go anywhere, unfortunately. He didn't even know that much about Temari other than that she carried a massive fan, and thus likely a Wind Style user, but he felt that he could say with confidence that Kazuko would lose. Kazuko was skilled with medical ninjutsu, incredibly so, but she just didn't have enough chakra to do much of anything offensive with that skill, at least not yet.

After that, Temari would be fighting Shikamaru. From what Eiji knew about Shikamaru, it was almost certain he just wouldn't show up, and she'd win by default.

Then, Sasuke and Temari. Sasuke would probably win that match with a well-placed Fireball Jutsu.

Wait.

If Sasuke won that match, and Eiji won all his matches...

He gulped.

If that was the case, and these matches functioned under the same rules as the preliminaries, then Eiji would be fighting Sasuke until one of them died or gave up.

Eiji was extremely conflicted about this. He didn't like the idea of fighting Sasuke. Sasuke was more skilled than Eiji was in most respects (sans taijutsu), but Eiji had the Byakugan and the Gentle Fist. In a straight fight, they'd (probably) be evenly matched.

But Kakashi was training Sasuke, and he'd undoubtedly be more skilled by the time he was done. Eiji would need to match that at minimum if he hoped to beat Sasuke.

But did he even want to? There was a risk he might kill Sasuke by accident, and Eiji didn't want to take that risk.

Eiji didn't know what to do.

Breathing deeply and unsteadily, he walked back up the stairs and opened the door, entering the apartment. He walked over to the refrigerator and stuck the brackets to to the fridge with a few spare frog-shaped magnets before exiting the apartment again and re-locking it and walking back down the stairs.

He resolved to locate Karin, assuming she was still in the village, and ask her about Shigeri. After that, he'd go down to the library and spend some time there. There was no harm in preparing for the exams, even if he didn't get to the final round.

Eiji walked down the street, forcing himself to keep his back straight, he silently noted all the looks he got. Most appeared to find his appearance complimentary, but a few of the older people he saw, primarily the _really_ old ones, looked almost frightened. He thought that was strange. Why were they scared of someone like him?He was harmless.

Eventually, after about seven minutes, Eiji started growing uncomfortable with the attention.

He didn't like all the eyes on him, all the evaluation and judging, regardless of whatever the individual results of people's evaluations were. He wasn't used to this much attention. He also couldn't find Karin, which was incredibly frustrating. He latched onto the nearest wall and sprinted up it, gripping the edge of the roof and flipping up onto the roof, turning around and crouching back down. He narrowed his eyes and moved his hair out of the way of his Byakugan, scanning the village. Perhaps he was going about this the wrong way? He knew what Karin's chakra looked like, having observed and memorized its unique signature, but he still couldn't see it. The Hokage might know where the Genin from the other villages were staying.

Eiji stood up and embarked towards the Hokage's office. It was a quick trip to the gate, which he ran up and flipped over, leaping up through an open window and into the Hokage's office. Hiruzen was reading a book of some kind. Upon further examination, it was the same book that Kakashi read all the time and that his mother had hidden under her mattress: _Icha Icha: Paradise_. Eiji didn't understand the appeal of smut, but the writing was clever and quite funny in the bits that weren't blatant pornography, much like _The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi_. Given that both books were authored by Jiraiya of the Sannin, it made sense.

Eiji found it more entertaining than he should have that the _Hokage_ of all people was reading it.

Eiji cleared his throat quietly, and the Third Hokage looked up from the book. His expression changed almost imperceptibly for the shortest time when he looked up. It wasn't obvious enough for Eiji to be able to tell what the look meant, but the fact that he covered it up so quickly told him it hadn't meant anything good. "Oh, hello Eiji. Did you forget where the front door was?"

Eiji motioned at the window. "The window was closer."

"I can see that. How are you feeling?"

Eiji raised his casted arm. "Better. My arm still hurts a bit." He lied, attempting to maintain the facade of his arm being broken.

The Hokage motioned toward Eiji's clothes. "I see that you've decided to, erhm, _display_ your Uchiha side more." There was something in his voice that Eiji couldn't quite place, some kind of tension.

"I thought I looked good, for once." He answered honestly. For some reason, he'd always felt like he could speak openly with the Hokage, sometimes even more than his mother. He could also speak to Hiruzen without stuttering or otherwise fumbling his speech, a feat reserved almost exclusively for his family, Naruto, and, more recently, Team 9. Hiruzen gave off this feeling of being a friendly grandfather; the nice, helpful elder man that you could always talk to that would never overreact or necessarily even disagree with what you were saying, and he would almost always answer your questions as honestly and helpfully as he could. Put simply, Eiji felt perfectly at ease around him. Eiji didn't speak with him often, but he always came away from a discussion with him feeling like he learned something, often multiple things.

Aside from chakra that resembled the sun in power and magnitude, that wisdom and personable nature was probably why he was the Hokage.

Hiruzen closed his book and placed it on his desk, turning his chair to face Eiji. "The Uchiha were famed for their looks and dramatic fashion sense, and the Hyuuga have always had a certain graceful air about them." He stated plainly, as if Eiji's attractiveness was not particularly abnormal for his heritage. That was oddly comforting, hearing that from the Hokage.

All Eiji said in response to that was: "Okay."

Hiruzen sighed. "Did you need something?"

"I was wondering where I could find Karin of Kusagakure."

He raised an eyebrow. "For purely...conversational reasons, I hope?"

Eiji cocked his head to the side in confusion. What else would he want with her? "I was going to try and get some information on Shigeri of Kusa out of her. What else would I-"

A beat. Hiruzen blinked slowly; pointedly, almost.

Another beat.

Then it hit him. He felt his cheeks grow warm. "Oh."

Hiruzen chuckled, presumably at Eiji's expression. "You're quite developed for someone your age, Eiji, but I'd suggest waiting another three years before you engage in such behaviors, at a bare minimum."

Eiji was in no rush to "engage in such behaviors," as it were, even if he was as "developed" as nearly everyone thought/said he was. He was still surprised that the Hokage was suggesting he wait at minimum only another three years. "Why only three years?"

He sighed tiredly. "Well, different clans have different rules about this, but the minimum age of consent in Konoha is thirteen."

 _Thirteen_? That was it? He was under the impression that it had been eighteen. That's what his mother had always told him it was. "I thought it was eighteen." He half-asked.

"As I said, nearly every clan in the village has their own rules about this, and most of them have raised it to eighteen. The only exceptions I can think of are the Senju, the Uzumaki, and the Hyuuga."

Eiji cocked his head to the side again. "What is it for them?"

Hiruzen coughed. "Fifteen for the Uzumaki and thirteen for the Senju. The Senju founded the village alongside the Uchiha, and as such, they wrote many of the village's foundational, unchangeable laws."

"Why did they make it so low?"

The Third Hokage sighed tiredly. "Eiji, there's a reason you don't seen anyone with the Senju name around here anymore. They diluted the bloodline with the promiscuity that resulted from such a lack of restriction. Most of the population of the village that don't belong to a clan are of Senju heritage."

Wow. He thought it was just the First Hokage that was like that. "What about the Hyuuga?"

"They don't have a specific age limit. A Hyuuga is only permitted to reproduce if they and their partner complete the Senbon Sparring Ritual before or shortly after conception. Your mother did the latter."

"Why?" Eiji knew what the Senbon Sparring Ritual was, but he didn't understand why it was a barrier to reproduction.

"It's a rite of passage, an entry into adulthood. As a Genin, you're an adult by their standards already. You're allowed to function autonomously, if you wish. Own a home, make a living, be a productive member of the clan and of society. However, you are not allowed to reproduce, and have the child be born Hyuuga, until you prove that you are strong enough to validate your doing so. The child needs to contribute to the clan's strength. I can't say I _agree_ with this philosophy, but the Hyuuga are the strongest clan in the village, so their way of doing things must be working to an extent." Hiruzen explained.

Eiji was even more confused. He thought for a moment, something Hiruzen had just said only now registering.

A person could only be born Hyuuga if both parents completed the Senbon Sparring Ritual.

That meant that both of his parents had done so.

And Eiji was an accident, which meant that both of his parents defeated _one-thousand_ opponents in consecutive sparring matches by knockout just so he could be officially considered of noble blood.

As teenagers.

And his mother had been _pregnant at the time._

Eiji shook his head, looking down at the floor. "Oh man..." He trailed off, walking over to a chair in front of Hiruzen's desk and sitting down. He had a lot to live up to.

Hiruzen chuckled. "Yes, your mother was very adamant that you receive as many opportunities as you possibly could."

Eiji was silent, processing the information he had just received. His mother had been quite literally fighting for him since before he was born. Itachi Uchiha had been as well.

That complicated things,and the last thing Eiji needed was a more conflicted view of his father.

"Lord Hokage, why do you think my dad what he did?"

The word "dad" felt strange to use. Dads were things everyone else but Naruto and Sasuke had. He had no use for the word. Whenever his father had been discussed when he was in the room, it had been in hushed, afraid tones.

Hiruzen sighed tiredly, leaning back in his swivelling chair. "I truly do not know. It's possible that he snapped under the pressure of being an ANBU captain. That position is incredibly taxing on the heart and mind."

"Why?"

The Hokage readjusted his hat. "That would take a while to explain."

Eiji frowned in frustration. "I have time."

The Hokage's expression went stern. "Allow me to rephrase that: the nature of the ANBU Clandestine Operations Unit is highly classified and will remain as such indefinitely. Are we clear?"

Eiji sighed, frustrated. "Yes, sir."

He obviously wasn't learning anything about them from the Hokage. Kakashi might know more.

Hiruzen nodded and picked his book back up. "Good. Now I recommend you locate that girl, Karin. She should be staying in the Kusagakure embassy, just over there." He said, pointing out the window to a large green building marked with the symbol of the Village Hidden in the Grass.

Eiji stood up quickly and bowed his head to the Hokage. "Thank you."

"You have precious little time to prepare for the finals, boy. Make every second count."

Eiji nodded. "I will."

The Hokage looked back up from his book. "Actions speak louder than words. Act."

With that bit of wisdom, of which Eiji considered to be profoundly confusing, the Third Hokage resumed reading porn.

Eiji stood up and walked over to the window, leaping from it and quickly zipping up to the rooftops and sprinting in the general direction of the Kusa embassy. For anyone that happened to catch a glimpse of him by looking up at the right time, they would have seen a black blur against a light blue sky, like a streak of ink in the ocean, for a few seconds until said blur disappeared from their field of vision.

Eiji wasn't quite as fast as Sasuke, at least not yet, but he was still incredibly fast for a Genin. He wondered how he could practice increasing his speed. There were probably books on it. He could always ask Guy, too. Guy taught Lee, and Lee was _disgustingly_ quick.

While his thoughts were almost always focused on the shinobi arts and how they worked, something the Hokage said stuck in his mind.

 _Actions speak louder than words. Act._

He had to think about that one.

Eiji leapt from the edge of a building and clung to the side of the embassy, scanning the interior with his Byakugan. He found her vibrant pinkish-red chakra relatively quickly. She wasn't inside the embassy, but she was near enough for Eiji to pick up her chakra. She was currently exiting the aviary, reading a letter. He slid down the side of the building and hit the ground. He didn't want to sprint up to her, that would look weird, so he decided instead to appear as if he had exited the aviary shortly after she had, and meeting her on the steps had just been coincidence.

Eiji clumsily formed the Tiger seal and "teleported" up to the aviary. The resultant poof of smoke startled more than a few birds in their cages and sent a few men wearing black shinobi fatigues reeling in surprise.

Eiji looked at them sheepishly. "Uh, heh, sorry."

One of them, the only one that hadn't fallen over, waved his hand dismissively. "It's, ah, it's fine. Hey, have we seen you around here before? Are you one of our diplomats or something?"

Did he really look like that? He was a ten-year-old Genin, not a diplomat. Eiji shook his head. "No, I'm uh, I'm local produce." He joked, tapping his forehead protector and reusing an old joke. Now it was more of a stomach protector, but it served the same purpose of informing the aviary staff who he was.

He nodded in understanding. "Oh, really? You look older than that."

Eiji looked around, quickly constructing what he thought was a sufficiently convincing lie. "I was supposed to meet someone here, but I guess they aren't here yet. Have a good day." He said, waving as he turned around and walked towards the steps.

The aviary staff began talking about something as Eiji made his way down the spiralling stairway. He caught the words "Uchiha," "weird," and "transformation jutsu," among others.

Eiji continued down the stairs for a good while until he spied Karin sitting on one of the steps. Her shoulders were hunched, and she looked and sounded like she was crying.

Eiji frowned in concern and cautiously approached her, sitting down next to her and resting his arms on his knees. He almost placed his hand on her back, but decided against it. That might not help things. He knew from personal experience that if Sasuke was feeling particularly down, the last thing he wanted was for someone to touch him. Touching an upset Sasuke usually resulted in his screaming at you, or, if you were Naruto, a fist to the face.

"...is something wrong?" He asked her quietly, cautiously.

Karin jolted straight and squeaked in surprise. She looked at him, face now a barely coherent mixture of grief, surprise, and...

...something else that Eiji didn't recognize.

Eiji grimaced inwardly. He was going to have a difficult time balancing attempts to console her and get information out of her with dodging any advances she made.

She smiled halfheartedly, cheeks flushed. "Oh, hey, uh, hey Eiji." She half-giggled, half choked.

Eiji was starting to think that he shouldn't have approached her in such a fragile emotional state.

"Uh, hi. Is something wrong?" He repeated awkwardly, trying to identify the problem.

"It's, uh," she paused, wiping her eyes, "it's nothing."

He frowned, eyes full of concern. Eiji didn't like to see people hurting, especially not if he thought he could do something about it. "It doesn't look like nothing." He probed.

"You look great." She purred through tears.

He felt his cheeks heat up at the compliment, but he kept himself focused on her. "Thank you, but, I, I don't like seeing people cry. I'd, uh, I'd like to help." He offered.

She sighed shakily. "I don't want to talk about it."

Eiji started reading the letter with his Byakugan. He paled. Karin had just received news of her mother's passing. He couldn't imagine, no, he didn't _want_ to imagine what that felt like.

His eyes flicked between her and the letter. She seemed to understand that he had just read it. Instead of slapping him, like Eiji half-expected her to, she just grabbed onto him and buried her head in his shoulder, crying quietly.

Eiji hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to do. This girl had just learned that she had lost her mother after failing in the Chunin Exams preliminaries. She had to be feeling absolutely incredible pain, and she was looking to him for help. If he didn't at least _try_ to make her feel better, he'd be doing more harm than if he tried and screwed up.

Eiji reciprocated the gesture, wrapping one arm around her shoulders. He drew the other arm up her back and placed his hand on her head, stroking her hair. She leaned into it. This was what his mother had done for him, Naruto, and Sasuke whenever they were feeling down, and there was no harm in trying it now.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly.

She whimpered in response.

They stayed that way for a while, Eiji ignoring the glances or odd looks he received from the occasional civilian or shinobi that came to deliver a letter. Karin wasn't particularly loud, but her quiet, pitiful whimpers were somehow worse than if she had been sobbing loudly.

After a little while longer, she didn't appear to be getting better. He remembered his mother occasionally injecting him with her chakra to calm him down if he was feeling _really_ bad, maybe he could try that?

He lined up his fingers with some of the tenketsu on the back of her head. He removed the slightest bit of her own chakra to connect his chakra pathway system to hers before reversing the flow and returning it, along with a mild dose of his own. Just enough to create a pleasant tingling sensation, ideally.

Eiji froze when she let out a very indecent-sounding moan in response to the chakra injection, arching her back. Her grip tightened on his shoulders and she shivered, clenching her teeth.

Eiji hastily pulled away, startled.

That was weird. Not necessarily _bad_ weird, just strange. New. Eiji didn't always react "normally" to new things.

Karin blinked, cheeks red as her hair and eyes half-lidded and hazy-looking; unfocused. Her expression was difficult to read. Eiji could normally discern what a person was feeling based on their facial expression, body language, perhaps supplementing that by reading their chakra, but this expression was new to him. She looked sleepy, satisfied, almost. Intoxicated. Her chakra wasn't particularly helpful in the matter either; it was behaving in a way he didn't recognize.

"...sorry?" Eiji apologized, not sure what else to say.

Karin giggled drunkenly, readjusting her glasses. "No, no, I, heh, it's okay. It felt good. Your chakra is very...nice."

He didn't even really know what it was that he did to elicit that strong of a reaction, but he was glad that it seemed to help her feel better. "Erhm, that's good?"

Karin just giggled drunkenly again, grabbing his arm. Eiji bristled at the unexpected physical contact, but Karin didn't seem to pick up that.

Eiji fiddled with his hands. He didn't know if he'd be getting anything out of her in this state. What exactly had he done to her? When his mother injected him with chakra, it just felt relaxing. Calming. Karin certainly seemed calm, but Eiji had never been this grabby after one of her chakra injections. Cuddly, maybe when he was much younger, but not grabby.

And he especially wouldn't be this grabby with a complete stranger.

He didn't like this. She was getting far too close, and he didn't like what her scent was doing to his brain.

Information on Shigeri could be gathered via other means.

Eiji needed to leave, and he needed to leave immediately.

Eiji separated himself from Karin and formed the Tiger seal. "I, uh, I gotta go."

He "teleported" away before she could respond, reappearing on a nearby rooftop. His heart was pounding and he found himself practically hyperventilating. What just happened? What was he feeling? He didn't like it. It had scrambled his thoughts too much, taken his guard down too far for too long. He felt bad leaving her like this, but something about getting that physically close to someone that he barely knew just felt wrong.

Then again, the look on her face...

He shook his head and cleared his thoughts before deciding that now might be a good time to check out his father's old training grounds a bit more in-depth. It was certain to be completely free of other human beings, and it was worth reexamining when he wasn't emotionally compromised, as he had been the evening, wait, no, _morning_ before.

He looked around for the Uchiha Compound with his Byakugan, quickly found it, and set off towards it.

Unfortunately, while he was crossing the gap between the building he was standing on and the next one, his forehead decided that now was a good time to start producing pain signals en-masse.

Eiji muffled a yell as he clutched his forehead, failing to stick the landing and slipping off the roof. He fell to the street and onto his back, head cracking against the ground. Eiji's vision went blurry and his ears began to ring. He tried to suck down air, but only managed to start coughing.

He groaned, tears welling up in his eyes.

Why was it exactly that _everything_ had to hurt so much?

Through the pain, he dearly hoped no one had seen that blunder.

A woman started laughing hysterically. "PfffffttHAHAHAHA!"

Anko.

Great.

Eiji wanted to curl into a little ball and hide from the world. He did not fail in such a humiliating manner very often, so when he did, he did not take it well.

Vision still blurry, he saw a figure, presumably Anko, loom over him. She poked him with a stick. "Are you dead?"

Eiji forced himself up, wiping his eyes. "No, I'm, rrgghh, I'm fine." He growled. It wasn't an aggressive growling, it just sounded like he was in pain.

"You constipated or something?" Anko asked, crouching down.

Oh, _come on_. She could at least _try_ to be helpful. "Please don't." Eiji requested almost desperately as he stood up, dusting himself off. His forehead throbbed again. He instinctively reached up and smacked himself in the face with his cast.

 _...fuck._

Anko giggled. "You're really on a roll right now."

When Eiji was frustrated with someone, it wasn't obvious. He usually kept it to himself, and if that control slipped, it would manifest as a snide comment or sarcastic remark. Passive-aggression was Eiji's go-to when he was angry with someone, but it took a lot to get him to the point where it would actually become visible. Right now, though, Anko was really managing to bug him in all the wrong ways at the worst time.

"I'm assuming this kind and helpful personality is why my mom never talked about you?" Eiji growled sarcastically.

That seemed to knock her down a peg. "Alright little man, you got me there. Yeah, that was pretty much why." She conceded.

Eiji's forehead pulsed again, and he bent over even more, nearly looking at the ground at this point.

Anko placed her hand on his back, concerned. "Hey, are you alright?"

Eiji waved her away. "No, rrrgghh, uh, this is norm-"

And then the pain suddenly let up. He stood up straight and breathed deeply. "Okay, okay, I'm, uh, I'm good now."

Anko raised an eyebrow, frowning. "What was that?"

"I get chronic headaches." Eiji said, tapping his forehead.

Anko frowned. "Doesn't sound fun."

"It's not."

Anko looked around. "Well, since you're here, did you feel like hearing about your mom in the Chunin Exams?"

Eiji had completely forgotten about that. He'd been bombarded with so much new information in the past seventy-odd hours that he had already forgotten about his agreement with Anko. Something along the lines of "I'll tell you about some stuff that happened with your mom and I when we were kids if you don't die."

He nodded. "Uh, yeah."

Anko motioned for him to follow her. "Alright, kid, follow me. You're buyin'."

Eiji was a blue-blood. Nobility. It wasn't a concept he cared for that much, but it had countless advantages. He could afford to pay for someone's food. He checked his wallet as he followed Anko into what he only now realized was the Dango Shop.

He had four-hundred and thirty ryo in bills, a few ryo in change, and a gift card for the Weapon Shop that Tenten's family ran.

The Dango Shop was a bit on the expensive side, but assuming Anko didn't eat out the whole store, he could probably safely pay for it.

Now that she had gotten Eiji thinking about food, he now realized that he had forgotten to eat breakfast again. He was absolutely starving.

Anko and Eiji were seated quickly enough, thankfully, so Eiji didn't have to stand people's stares for too long. Anko ordered her namesake and Eiji ordered some mochi.

Anko leaned forward as the waiter left. "Alright, so whaddya want to know?"

Eiji thought about that for a minute. "Orochimaru." In spite of his experience only a little while ago, he still wanted to know more about the man.

Anko leaned back and reached up to the side of her neck. "Oh man. That, that might take a while."

What was with adults and their trying to dodge his questions? What were they trying to hide?

"I've got time." Eiji said again, in much the same way he had earlier.

She shrugged, shaking her head. "Well, alright. Orochimaru was our sensei back when we were tykes like you. He was a lot different back then, or, he seemed like he was, fuck I don't know."

Eiji cocked his head to the side. "How so?"

Anko looked like she was struggling to speak coherently. She didn't look angry, just lost in thought. Her hand was still on her neck. "I don't know, that's why I said I don't know."

Eiji wasn't getting anywhere with that. He could ask her later. "Who was your other teammate?"

Anko seemed to relax a bit. She lowered her hand. "Oh, yeah. Osamu Yakushi. Nice guy. Runs the orphanage. Has a huge crush on your mom."

Eiji tensed.

The name "Osamu Yakushi" was now added to Eiji's watchlist, so to speak.

What that meant in practice was that Osamu Yakushi would receive an ass-beating of epic proportions if he tried anything that Eiji considered to be fishy in regards to his mother.

Eiji did not resort to violence by choice often. He firmly believed that there was almost always another way to resolve a problem other than physical violence, but with a man he didn't know trying to get in close to his mother?

Not so.

Anko cracked a smile. "Ha! You have the funniest faces, kid, you know that?"

Eiji scowled, remaining silent.

Anko's smile faded. "Yeah, okay. Sore spot. Sorry."

Eiji kept his scowl in place.

Anko whistled. "Wow. Really sore spot."

He didn't really even know why it was that he was reacting this way, but the idea of his mother pairing off with someone horrified him. Eiji sighed. "...it's fine. I just, I don't know. I don't want..." He stumbled.

Anko nodded approvingly. "You don't want your mom gettin' with the wrong guy. I gotcha."

Eiji shrugged. That might be it, but even if she found someone that was _objectively_ perfect, Eiji still had trouble stomaching the idea. "I guess."

Anko leaned forward again, face turning serious, as much as Anko's face could be serious. "So, Eiji, there's something you need to know about your mom."

Eiji blinked. "What?"

"You know how you killed all those jerks a few months ago?"

Eiji tensed again. He didn't like to think about that. He still saw their faces every night, especially that one woman's. "Um, yeah." He said shakily.

"You remember how you felt afterwards?"

Eiji had felt sick. Terrified. Most of all, he had felt, and _still_ felt, guilty. He never wanted to kill another person ever again. "Not good."

Anko nodded. "Right. And they were tryin' to kill you and scoop out your eyes, if I read that report right."

Eiji was silent.

Anko sighed tiredly. "So, back to your mom, she killed someone in our Chunin Exams. Her first."

Eiji blinked.

"Our exams were a bit different. Two different teams were sent into the Forest of Death and told to find and defeat the other one. The winning team advanced to the finals. We got paired up with another team, and she accidentally killed a kid on the other team. Hit him too hard in the head and detonated part of his brain with chakra. I don't remember his name, but he couldn't have been much older than you."

Eiji lost his appetite.

"She didn't take it well, and she was promoted to Chunin after the finals."

Eiji found his voice. "Who did she fight?"

Anko laughed humorlessly. "Me. Knocked me on my ass in five seconds."

"Oh. Sorry." He apologized, for some reason feeling the need to do so.

"After that, we went to war. She didn't do so well."

Eiji had read about the Third Shinobi World War and he knew his mother had fought in it, but she had never really talked about it before. "How?"

Anko exhaled frustratedly. "You ask a hell of a lot of questions, Eiji."

Eiji didn't know how to respond to that accusation. Anko said it lie it was a bad thing, but his mother had always answered nearly every single question he threw at her, the Hokage too. Ryuji was slightly less forthcoming, but Eiji could usually get things out of him. Anko seemed to have a very noticeable aversion to being asked questions.

"Your mom didn't really like hurting or hitting things that much before the war. Afterwards, that...changed. Itachi calmed her down a bit, and you probably got her back to normal, I think, but she went a little nuts for a bit."

Eiji was struggling to understand that. "I thought you were crazy." He said, referencing the conversation the three of them had the day before.

Anko laughed, this time with legitimate mirth. "Well yeah, I am, but I'm good crazy. Fun crazy. Your mom was bad crazy. Angry crazy. Kumo and Iwa shinobi called her the Bloody Sunflower."

Eiji's eyes widened. "Wait, what?"

"She and the Fourth Hokage really wiped the floor with a lot of enemy forces. I think Kumogakure still operates under a 'flee on sight' policy for her that applies to anyone under Jounin rank. That's what Ryuji told me, at least."

Anko leaned back. "Anyways, I don;t know about all that lying and manipulating stuff, but she probably lost it at you yesterday because she doesn't want the same thing happening to you. Advancing too fast didn't do good things for her. She's not super great at talking when she's really mad, and nothing makes her more mad than someone she cares about being in some kind of danger. So just think about that, okay?"

That was a lot to think about. He had no idea his mother had that much on her conscience. The weekly therapy visits made a lot more sense now.

He also felt tremendously bad about arguing with her so ferociously in the hospital. She had nothing but good intentions. She never had anything _but_ good intentions for him.

And how was he repaying that kindness and good intent?

By being a bratty, impotent child. Disagreements about the end result of a situation justifying the means with which it was attained aside, he had been absolutely awful to her.

Eiji rubbed his forehead, covering his eyes so Anko couldn't see his tears.

Anko frowned. "You cry too much."

Eiji knew that. BOY did he know that. The worst part about it was what would set off the waterworks didn't seem consistent. Things like physical pain didn't often do it (unless he was sufficiently surprised by it, as he had been when he fell from the roof, or it hurt badly enough for him to reflexively generate tears, like when Dosu had broken his arm), but something particularly touching in a book did (like when Tsuyu eventually gave up on Renge and gave poor Naruto shot). He guessed this was one of the reasons Mayumi had a penchant for calling him "girly."

Thankfully, a waiter arrived and brought them their food before he had to respond to Anko. He thanked the waiter as he placed Eiji's order in front of him. Anko greedily grabbed her food out of the man's hands and attacked it without mercy. Eiji hesitantly took a bite of one of the mochi, and nearly instantly felt better, appetite restored. Food generally had that effect on him when he was feeling bad in some way.

An hour and roughly three minutes later, Eiji's wallet was feeling a lot lighter. Anko could really eat. He wasn't entirely innocent either, though. He had discovered shortly after finishing his first order that the Dango Shop now had a lunch menu, which he had taken full advantage of.

The aforementioned kunoichi burped loudly, picking her teeth with a small stick. "Oh man, thanks kid. Don't get to pig out like that too often."

Eiji shrugged. "Sure. I get paid more than you do just for existing."

Anko flicked the makeshift toothpick into the ceiling. "True enough, fuckin' nobility..."

He didn't disagree with her. Nobility was an antiquated concept.

She stood up with a groan. "I'm not on call today, so I'm gonna go home and sleep all this sugary crap off. What about you?"

Eiji, having paid the check already, did so as well. "Training."

Anko smiled. "Good luck with that." She said, disappearing in a swirl of leaves. Eiji pushed his chair in, then hers, and left. He didn't feel sleepy, really, but he did feel something of a buzz from all the sugar. Not rattly, just stimulated. He needed to go work that out, and the best place he could do that alone was his father's old training room.

Eiji sprinted up the exterior wall of the Dango Shop and onto the roof, making a beeline for the Uchiha Compound.

Fifteen minutes later, Eiji found himself back in his father's old training room. He looked around, taking in everything again. It was simple, completely utilitarian, as were the weapons and tools that lined the walls. Assuming that his father trained with all of these weapons, that meant he was at least competent with every single weapon Eiji had ever heard of, seen, or read about, and a few more.

Not wanting to damage his coat, he removed it and dropped it in the corner of the room, removing a few kunai from the coat's pockets and stuffing them into his pants' pockets.

Eiji looked around, trying to decide what to do first. He walked over to a weapon rack and removed a naginata from it. It was a simple weapon, but seemingly well-crafted. Eiji twirled it around and accidentally smacked himself in the leg with it. He flinched and hissed in pain, rubbing the point of impact on his leg.

 _Nice job. Maybe you should leave the things you don't know how to use_ _ **alone**_ _._

Eiji decided to put the naginata back, so he wouldn't accidentally strike himself with the bladed part.

Looking around again, this time with his eyes activated, he quickly found the seal on the floor. He approached it cautiously. On closer examination, he saw that the seal wasn't just some kind of abstract symbol.

It read "影分身の術."

Literally (meaning the archaic term for the technique): "The Art of the Shadow Doppelganger."

In more modern terms: "Shadow Clone Jutsu."

Eiji looked at it curiously. He could only assume that this seal produced shadow clones, and based on the room he was in, he guessed they were meant to be sparring partners.

Furthermore, based on the chakra, they would be clones of his father.

He would get to see what his father looked like in-person, and that was very different than just seeing pictures.

Without really thinking about what he was doing, he excitedly channeled his chakra into the seal.

Then, a puff of smoke. Eiji felt extremely excited.

Then a fist hit his jaw like a freight train.

OW

Eiji had been punched in the jaw before. A few times by Naruto when sparring, a few more times by Sasuke (mostly when sparring, once completely by accident, and once in an argument when they were much younger), and a few other times from nameless classmates in the Academy when his guard had slipped up during sparring sessions.

This punch had more force behind it than all of those punches combined and multiplied by ten.

And it was only a _Shadow Clone_ ; an echo of the real thing.

Eiji flew backwards, clutching his face. He caught the floor with chakra and looked up as his vision cleared again, only to see a massive fireball flying straight towards him. Eiji blasted it with a vacuum palm and extinguished it, only to see a cloud of flaming shuriken in its place. Eiji tossed another vacuum palm at the shuriken, reducing their velocity and extinguishing the flames. He formed a shield with his hair and many of the shuriken uselessly clinked off of it. Unfortunately, three found their way through cracks or openings that hadn't yet been sealed. One hit his shoulder, another his side, and the third, fortunately, embedded itself in his cast. Eiji hissed and lost his concentration, letting his hair go soft. As soon as his hair shield went down completely, Eiji felt a barrage of punches, kicks, and kunai slashes coming from every direction at once. The clone was moving so incredibly quickly that not even Eiji's Sharingan could keep up. If he was moving that fast, he had to be using the _shunshin_. Eiji had never seen it used this way before, but he didn't have time to appreciate his father's creativity. He was, quite bluntly, getting his ass handed to him.

Eiji lashed out wildly with his hair in every direction, trying to grab or slash at or otherwise dissipate the clone. He felt his hair catch on something, and immediately squeezed with his hair as hard as he could, reeling in what was hopefully the clone.

It was, and Eiji finally got a good look at his father's doppelganger. At first glance, he thought he was looking in a mirror. After a few seconds, he starting noticing differences. The lines on his face were more pronounced where Eiji's were only visible from the right angle and in the right light, and his hair was more flat and lank where Eiji's had much more volume and a slight wave to it, and his skin was ever so slightly darker. He could have been about Sasuke's age, perhaps a bit older. Eiji was baffled by how incredibly innocuous he looked. He had seen pictures of the man in his teens, and he had looked relatively normal there, but its was a very different thing to seem him in person. He didn't look like a genocidal maniac. He didn't look like a hardened shinobi. He just looked like another kid.

Eiji briefly hesitated to squeeze tighter, and the clone disappeared. Eiji felt motion behind him, and whipped his head around just in time to see a sandalled foot-

*THWACK*

The world went black with an explosion of pain.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Eiji opened his eyes slowly, painfully. His face felt swollen and he was covered in cuts and bruises. Most of the cuts in question had sealed up, but they itched like mad. He sat up stiffly and sealed up the cuts with medical ninjutsu before cupping his hand over each bruise for roughly ten seconds each. Eiji tried to stand up before sharp pains in his side sent him back down.

Eiji looked down at the source of the pain. The shuriken were still embedded in his side. One in his shoulder, and another in his abdomen.

Eiji grimaced, baring his teeth.

This was going to hurt.

He hesitantly grabbed the one in his abdomen and tugged lightly on it. Tears welled up in his eyes and he stifled a yell, pounding on the ground.

This was going to hurt a _lot_.

Eiji removed a kunai from his pocket and bit down on it, gripping the shuriken and tugging on it again. More pain, no results. He tried this a few more times, each attempt being cut short by pain and fear of pain/mutilation. Ironically, he was doing more damage to himself by tugging on it than by simply pulling it out, and he knew that very well from what Kazuko had told him the first time Mayumi had taken a shuriken to the arm, but he couldn't appreciate the humor to be found there right now; his arm was too busy screaming at him to make the pain stop.

Eiji blinked the tears from his eyes and refocused on his burning abdomen, then on his shoulder. He needed to take these things out. If he didn't, and his mother saw the injuries, she'd never let him come back here, not to mention the potential for infection.

Eiji steeled himself with some deep breathing and ripped the shuriken out in quick succession.

PAIN

Blood dripped down his arm and torso. The openings were clean, so he hadn't shredded is skin too badly. That was good. He wouldn't have to worry about a scar. A small comfort, but a comfort nonetheless. Eiji sealed up the wounds with a shaky hand, spitting the kunai out on the floor and falling to his back limply. His chest rose and fell at a steady, gradually slowing rhythm as the pain eventually faded.

Eiji lay there a while, not really thinking about anything of note: Naruto's wonderfully obnoxious laughter, his mother's warm smile, Sasuke's well-timed and humorous verbal jabs, the like. Karin passed through his mind more than a few times. The scent of her hair, the feel of her breath, things like that. He deliberately began suppressing those thoughts when he began to feel a "stirring" of sorts in his pants. It wasn't out of choice he was thinking about these things, more just because he lacked the energy to contemplate anything more complex.

He unsteadily got to his feet and attempted to gather his chakra. Right now, he'd say he was at about 80%. Assuming he was prepared and more careful this time, he could probably take another stab at his father's clones.

Eiji removed a kunai from his pocket and gathered his chakra, channeling it into the kunai. He could probably activate the seal from a distance if he aimed this one right.

Eiji prepared a fireball jutsu by focusing fire-natured chakra in his throat, charged the kunai with chakra, and held up his casted arm like a shield.

He threw the kunai at the seal and hoped for the best.

 **Later**

Eiji sealed up some more cuts with the last remnants of his chakra as he sat cross-legged on the matted floor of Itachi's training room. This was just maddening. He hadn't even managed to _touch_ his father's clones after that first lucky grab. He'd managed to avoid being knocked out more often than not, and he'd gotten quite good at deflecting shuriken, but he still couldn't land a hit on him. It wasn't for a lack of trying, mind you. No, Eiji had thrown every jutsu he could think of at him.

This was not an exaggeration.

Itachi Uchiha's clone had managed to perfectly counter _every last one_ of Eiji's attempts to hurt him.

He'd countered Shadow Possession by copying it and using it to make Eiji knock himself out.

He'd countered the Mind Transfer by moving out of the way at the last minute. He'd countered

He'd countered the Fireball Jutsu with another, larger Fireball Jutsu. Eiji didn't know you could do that until now.

He'd countered any attacks with Eiji's hair following the first by cutting it with a chakra-enhanced kunai.

Eiji looked down at his fists, bloodied, scraped, and sore.

He frowned.

And he'd countered any and all of Eiji's attempts at close combat by just outpacing him.

Again, not an exaggeration.

Eiji had punched _himself_ more than he'd hit Itachi's clone. Itachi's clone was somehow using the _shunshin_ without any hand seals, another thing Eiji had previously thought impossible.

He sighed tiredly and tried to heal his hands. Instead of a green glow, a pathetic green spark that quickly fizzled out once it hit the ground.

Eiji frowned, exhaling tiredly. He was nearly out of chakra.

 _Stupid, stupid stupid._

Eiji reached over to his coat and fumbled around with aching hands, retrieving the Hyuuga Clan medical ointment from one of the interior pockets and spreading it on his assorted cuts and scrapes. He could erase the scars later, right now he just needed to disinfect the wounds and wrap them up.

After applying a generous amount of the ointment, he screwed the lid back on and fumbled around for some bandages he'd found in Itachi's old room. He carefully wrapped them around the exposed parts of his arms, up to the shoulders. Almost immediately after finishing, the wooden doors creaked open. Eiji automatically spun to his feet and, in spite of how much they hurt, raised and curled his fists.

His mother pushed her way through the doors. She looked around almost frantically, Byakugan activated. Naturally, she found him, and was squeezing him tightly an instant later.

"Time to stop, sweetie." She commanded. It wasn't a particularly stern command, just matter-of-fact. It was simply time to stop training.

"Yeah, okay,"he breathed tiredly, squeezing back. Eiji didn't have the energy nor the desire to argue with her. He stayed there for a few seconds before pulling back slightly, so he could see her face instead of just her chest.

She bent over and kissed the top of his head. "You're really sweaty."

"I've been busy."

She cocked her head to the side, looking down at him. "Why didn't you come see us? I left you a note."

"I couldn't remember where the waterfall was." He answered honestly.

"You could've looked." She said quietly, almost disappointedly.

She sounded sad.

Eiji didn't understand why she sounded sad. "What's wrong? "

She sighed, rubbing his head. "Eiji, do you know how long you've been here?"

Come to think of it, he didn't. "A few hours?"

"It's ten at night, Eiji." She said pointedly.

Ten at night.

10:00 P.M.

He'd been here for _eight hours_.

He'd found that training was a lot like reading books for him in that he could train for hours and not notice time going by, but this was pushing it, even for him. His performance slipping in the last fight made a lot of sense now. He had been fighting with no fuel.

More importantly, however, he had left her and Naruto hanging for almost the entire day.

"Oh. Am I in trouble?"

She shook her head. "No, no, of course not, it's up to you how to prepare for the finals, I just had my hopes up that you could have helped Naruto train too."

Oh, that made sense. "Oh. Sorry. We can always do that tomorrow, right?"

She nodded. "Of course, there's always tomorrow. You two have a month. For now, we just need to get you home and feed you, then get you into bed. You didn't eat dinner, did you?"

Eiji had to think about that for a minute. It seemed like he had just eaten a little while ago, but if it was really ten at night, it had been eight hours since then.

"No, I, uh, I forgot."

Himawari grabbed his hand and gathered Eiji's things with the other, throwing them over her shoulder, and led him towards the doors. "Then you, my son, need food."

Eiji's stomach grumbled in affirmation. "Is Naruto still awake?" He asked.

She smiled. "No, he's asleep. He was been working on the Summoning Jutsu all day."

He cocked his head to the side. "Summoning Jutsu? Who's teaching him that?"

To the extent of his knowledge, no one he knew was capable of performing that particular jutsu.

Her smile turned into a smug grin. "You'll find out tomorrow. I think you'll want to meet him."

Eiji was curious now. "Who is it?"

"You'll have to come with us tomorrow if you want to find out."

He frowned as they walked up the stairs. Who was it? "Is it Osamu Yakushi?"

Her grip tightened. "Where'd you learn about Osamu?"

"I had lunch with Anko."

She huffed in frustration. "She really knows how to run her mouth...but no, it's not Osamu."

Eiji couldn't help himself. "Does he have a crush on you?"

It took her a moment to answer. "I think he used to. I don't know anymore. I haven't talked with him in a while."

Eiji scrunched up his forehead. That wasn't helpful.

She looked down at him, and she seemed to notice and correctly interpret his expression. "Eiji, I never liked him too, and you three are my priority. Don't worry."

He felt a lot more reassured by her telling him that. He breathed deeply as they reached the top of the stairwell. "Thanks."

They were silent as they passed through the house and the rest of the Uchiha Compound. Himawari's pace quickened and Eiji noticed her breathing speed up. She looked nervous, stressed. Eiji wondered why that was. He didn't get to ask, though, because as soon as they were out of the compound, she formed half of a tiger seal and "teleported" them both back right outside their apartment. When compounded with the lack of chakra, lack of food, and lack of energy, the quick transition in surroundings made Eiji dizzy. He clutched his forehead, and pulled on his mother's arm to keep from falling over.

"Oh dear, sorry Eiji. I should have warned you I was going to do that."

"'s fine..." Eiji mumbled, world quickly losing focus.

Without warning, Himawari quickly unlocked the door scooped him up in her arms and carried him inside. Now lacking any real incentive to stay awake, Eiji quickly lost consciousness and surrendered to fatigue.

* * *

 **A/N:** I hope this doesn't seem like a filler chapter. I'm trying to establish the way Eiji prepares for the finals and provide some more characterization for him, and I hope this did an okay job doing that.

In case it wasn't clear what Eiji did to Karin, think. She's attracted to men based on the quality of their chakra, and Eiji bombarded her pleasure center with a relatively large dose of chakra most people would liken to high-grade platinum. His mother does that for the three boys (Eiji, Naruto, and Sasuke) in a way I would liken to stroking someone's arm in a comforting way, but one thing Eiji has trouble doing is determining how much chakra he uses for techniques. The amount Himawari uses is very small, just enough to create a pleasant tingling sensation.

He used way more than that, because all the techniques he uses are techniques that increase in power directly proportional to the amount of chakra he puts into them. He doesn't use any jutsu that don't work like that yet. Eiji just flat out overloaded her brain and caused a very brief period of massively-increased opioid production, something that happens during sex and to a much lesser extent, when one eats sugar.

Like I say at the start of the chapter, some of you will most likely have some issues with this. That's understandable. I get that. But the story I'm trying to tell is not necessarily family-friendly all the time, and people's first sexual experiences, conventional or otherwise, are rarely clean or pretty. More often than not, at least from my own experiences and from what I've heard, they're pretty unclear. Messy. Accidental, even. That's what I was going for with that scene. This story will get progressively darker as time goes by, and it will stay quite dark for a while once it hits that low point. It won't be dark or edgy purely for the sake of being dark or edgy, but, well, you'll see.

People write what they know, and I've been feeling pretty blegh lately, so expect this story to reflect that.

Just food for thought and something to remember for when Eiji gets older and starts _actually_ experimenting a bit, and something of a disclaimer for newer readers or readers that were/are looking for something fluffier.

Anyways, there's probably going to be a timeskip in-between this chapter and the next. I don't know yet. At max, it'll be three weeks, like in canon. At minimum, it'll be one week.

Again, I don't know.

You're welcome to send me suggestions, questions, or anything that's on your mind. I can't guarantee your suggestion will make it in, but anything you send me, unless it's spam, will be responded to as promptly as possible.

To anyone who's still here, thanks for your continued interest in Eiji's story. It means a lot to me that you're still here and that you stuck with it long enough to see my writing improve. Ideally, it will only get better, which is good for both of us.

~Essence of Clotheslining


	22. Chapter 21: The Yellow Dragon

**A/N:**

(The first part of the first A/N was written almost immediately before I published this chapter)

 **HOO BOY IS COLLEGE FUCKING TIME-CONSUMING OR WHAT**

I can't communicate how sorry I am for the delay. I just moved down to Santa Barbara, California, and college is, as I say, highly time-consuming. I love all my classes, and they should help me write better, but getting adjusted has been hard. I also have a highly problematic roommate. He's a sweet guy, but he just creates chaos, and I can't concentrate on creating anything in a chaotic environment.

(This part was written way back when I actually started this chapter)

I like how these are just becoming like a journal where I dump ideas and thoughts and headcanons and crap for my _own_ story. Ah well. Just scroll past it if you don't want to read it. If you do, prepare for something resembling a book report at the bottom where I go off about symbolism incorporated into some of the characters because I like to think/talk about that kind of thing. You can skip it if you want, but I think it's interesting.

Ryuji this time. Ideally, this will be an all-Ryuji chapter, but we'll see where my brain goes.

See the Author's Note on the bottom for a bunch of thoughts and analyses of certain things relating to this story.

But before then, please enjoy my thoughts on the state of the world as a quote from Jules Feiffer: "Satire doesn't stand a chance against reality anymore."

He said that in 1959.

For those of you in the United States, and traffic graphs say this is most of you (and I'm right here with you), I'll ask you this...

Which do you value more in a leader?

Power, or love?

Please, for the love of God, _please_ choose love.

And please actually _act in accordance to this decision_.

I cannot stress this enough.

Supporting someone is all well and good, but that means _nothing_ unless you act.

(Ryuji speaks differently in this chapter than in previous ones. Again, another instance of Early-Installment Weirdness. I'm improving as a writer, but I've still got a ways to go, and whenever I look back at my older stuff, I start to cringe. Lastly, a brief reminder: The Fourth Raikage, A, Ryuji's little brother, was born "Yuudai/Yudai Inazuma.")

* * *

Chapter 21: The Yellow Dragon

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEE-*

Ryuji grumbled something incomprehensible and turned off the alarm clock, blindly flicking switches and smashing buttons until the beeping stopped. He sat up in bed with a groan and scratched his leg drowsily. He blinked in rapid succession, clearing the sleep from his eyes. He yawned, stumbled out of bed, and immediately started doing pushups, activating his lightning chakra cloak to speed things up, performing ten every few seconds. This was how he woke himself up. Rain or shine, home or abroad, he would fumble out of bed every morning and do one-thousand repetitions of every exercise he was capable of doing. He hadn't missed a day in the past twenty years. Sure, it took a while, but now that he was a Jounin-Teacher, he didn't go on missions nearly as often as he used to. If he didn't subject himself to this, he'd go soft.

Ryuji did not like the idea of going soft. He'd seen it happen to old Hiruzen, and while that wasn't entirely his fault, he could have certainly made more of an effort to stay in shape.

Three hours later, Ryuji was out of the shower and dressed. He had his sword at his hip. His hair was combed back neatly, and all of the stiffness had abandoned his limbs.

Ryuji exited his hotel room and began walking down the stairs to the lobby. He passed by a few women on his way down. One winked at him.

He smiled back to be polite. It was slight, just enough to convey friendly intent, but not enough for her to get the wrong idea. "Good mornin'." He greeted amiably, not the slightest hint of suggestion in his deep, gravelly bass.

Nonetheless, they giggled girlishly. That was not an abnormal reaction for a place like Tanzaku. In Konoha, many of the women there were much more reserved, much more modest, for both better and worse. Not so in Tanzaku. They were bold here, and while Ryuji didn't care much about or for sex anymore, he had definitely appreciated this boldness in his younger days. Made things a lot easier. He still indulged in the occasional roll in the hay now and then, just to make sure his equipment was still working right, but sex was hardly something he was concerned about in the way most everyone that wasn't a shinobi was.

The woman who had winked at Ryuji approached him, sashaying her hips in a very seductive manner. She started to say something, it didn't really matter to Ryuji what it was.

Ryuji held up a hand, cutting her off. "No thanks. I'm busy."

She stood there, seemingly stunned that he had rebuked her advances. She was probably not used to flat rejection, or just rejection in general. She could also be a hooker; there were lots of those in Tanzaku. Regardless, she was a beautiful woman, no doubt about it, but he had things to do.

And this woman was not one of them.

She also wasn't his type. Ryuji didn't have much in the way of preferences regarding physical attributes anymore, he cared about what was on the inside. In terms of personality, Ryuji didn't like women that made it a point to act seductive, like this one. To quote Akiyama, Ryuji liked a woman that could "kick his ass." He wasn't a masochist, he just liked a woman that he didn't have to worry about, a woman that was his equal or even superior in power and maturity. When one took into account Ryuji's combat ability (Ryuji had been asked on several separate occasions if he was a jinchuuriki) and his age (pushing fifty, even if he didn't look it), these were _extremely_ few and far between.

Ryuji walked down the stairs, exited the stairwell, and walked into the lobby, dropping his room key at the front desk before walking out the front door. He sighed and looked up at the sky. It was still dark out, and it was raining. Ryuji liked the rain. The incessant pitter-patter of the raindrops on every surface was calming, relaxing. It allowed him to tune out a lot of the background chatter from the dozens of civilians going about their business. The rain was only a little more than a light sprinkle at present, but if the swollen, dark grey clouds on the horizon were any indication, it would soon turn into a downpour.

As he walked down the street in the direction of the town's gates, he wondered how Kazuko was doing.

...

Perhaps it would be more accurate to say he was wondering how Akiyama was doing with Kazuko.

Hana would doubtlessly be the one taking care of her. She'd been mothering Akiyama for the past Ryuji-didn't-know how many years (he guessed at least a decade), she could definitely handle a girl like Kazuko who never broke any rules or really did anything wrong, a stark contrast to a man like Akiyama: a relentlessly flirtatious manchild that chronically slept in too late and could never remember to feed himself.

No, he was worried about whether or not Kazuko would actually learn anything from Akiyama. He was still her best shot training for the finals, but that didn't mean he was a _good_ shot. Akiyama was almost all natural talent. He didn't know how to quantify what he did, he just did it. Still, Ryuji had faith she could figure out what he did well-enough to mimic it.

Ryuji stopped at a covered food stall. It was a small stall, quite humble, but the grill underneath the awning and the wonderful smell that wafted from it indicated that it specialized in takoyaki. The shape of the grill confirmed his suspicions.

He bent over and looked under the awning. A small, old woman had her back turned to the grill. She was focused very intently on opening up a box of some kind.

Ryuji cleared his throat. "Uh, ma'am?"

She didn't look up from her box. "Just a minute!"

She looked up from the box. "What can I get for you?"

Ryuji smiled. "Some takoyaki'd be great. Whatever fixin's you like best."

She cupped her hand behind her ear. "Huh?"

Ryuji leaned forward and repeated himself at a higher volume, adding in the amount he wanted.

She grinned, revealing moderately intact teeth. "Comin' right up."

Ryuji nodded. "Thanks a bunch."

Seafood was rare in the Land of Fire, so one usually wound up paying far too much for it, but Ryuji owned what he supposed was roughly one-third of all red-light districts in the Land of Lightning and Land of Fire, and one-fifth of all the water supplies in the Land of Wind.

Money was not an issue for him. Availability was the problem, not to mention the fact that nearly no one in Konoha knew what they were doing with seafood.

The old woman turned to make his order when she paused, turning back around with a wry grin. "Say, is that a lightning country accent?"

"Yep. Born an' raised." Ryuji had an extremely thick accent that was normally reserved for impoverished resident of the Land of Lightning. This was likely because he had spent so much time in impoverished areas as a young man, and he had just picked up the dialect. Konoha was largely used to his accent by now, but there were still times where he had to repeat himself. He was honestly a bit surprised that this woman he understood him almost instantly.

The old woman just smiled and looked back down.

As he waited for his food, he looked around, scanning his surroundings with a keen eye, long light beige/off-white/white (depended on the lighting) high-collared haori flapping in the wind. He didn't expect to encounter trouble, but that generally meant he had to be extra careful. He had a massive bounty on his head, and Tanzaku was full of bounty hunters too young and stupid to know his reputation.

One would think that the sight of a human wall like him would deter someone, but youth did things to a person's brain.

Speaking of which, a group of three scrappy-looking youths seemed to notice him. One slapped another other on the shoulder and pointed at Ryuji before removing a slip of paper from his pocket and showing it to his two cohorts. They discussed something amongst themselves before plastering intensely confident expressions on their faces and sauntering up to him with a swagger that Ryuji would have laughed at in his youth.

One of them, a young man, (a kid, really) with unruly black hair and eyes the color of mud, poked Ryuji in the chest. "There's a bounty on your head for-"

Ryuji scowled at them, and projected as much killing intent in their direction as he could muster.

A bird dropped dead out of the sky as the man that had poked Ryuji in the chest promptly wet his pants. His two companions froze in place.

"Two-hundred and fifty-five million, seven-hundred and fifty thousand, five-hundred and _one_ ryo, to be precise." Ryuji calculated coldly.

The man that had poked Ryuji began to shake.

Ryuji smelled fear, and reacted to it. As fast as a viper striking its prey, Ryuji reached forward and grabbed the man's neck, lifting him into the air the way most anyone else would lift a tiny object. "Now, kid, stop an' use that brain a yours for just a second: If my bounty's that high, I must be pretty strong, right? Musta done some _bad_ stuff to get it that high, yeah?" Ryuji growled sternly, like a parents scolding a small child.

Ryuji channeled electrical chakra into his other fist and raised it to the man's face. It crackled chaotically next to the man's cheek, threatening a very painful death by electrocution. The man looked absolutely terrified, and Ryuji would be lying if he said a little part of him didn't enjoy seeing that raw, panicked, animalistic fear. "Heh, what's yer name, kiddo?"

"H-hayato." He sputtered, terrified.

Ryuji frowned dryly. "Now, if ya think ya can take me down, _Hayato_ , yer welcome to try. But if ya do, I can almost guarantee that you'd get splattered all over that building over there." He deadpanned, pointing at one of the buildings behind the four of them.

Ryuji released Hayato, who fell to the ground and clutched at his throat, coughing.

Ryuji allowed the lightning chakra around his fist to dissipate. He shook the remnants of electrical energy from his hand, sparks crackling and fizzling out on the wet ground.

Hayato stood up shakily. His two cohorts just stood there like deer caught in a Shadow Paralysis Jutsu.

Ryuji blinked at them. "We're done here. Go back to yer boss an' tell him that if he wants the money for my head, he's gonna have to come an' kill me himself."

With that, the three thugs turned tail and ran away.

Ryuji exhaled tiredly and turned around to find his food ready for him. "Thanks." He said, bowing his head slightly.

He went to reach for his wallet when the old woman shook her head. "No, you get that for free, as thanks. Those hooligans have been pestering people around here for weeks."

Ryuji's mind immediately started working at a million miles an hour, Yakuza heuristics kicking in.

Thugs didn't usually pester civilians. The local Yakuza would have taken care of them by now.

Unless they _were_ local Yakuza.

If they were, that was a real shame. Yakuza used to have something that resembled a code of honor. You didn't endanger civilians. You didn't shake down people that couldn't afford to be shaken down. You didn't pick a fight with someone weaker or significantly stronger than you without _extremely_ good reason.

Ryuji was a lot of things. He had lain with dozens of women, he had been the leader of a massive criminal organization, and a killer of hundreds, perhaps thousands if he was held accountable for the actions of his subordinates (and he was of the opinion that he should be). Many people he knew would no longer use these terms classify him, instead using more positively-charged terms, like "romantic," "vagabond," and "warrior" but that didn't change what he was: a womanizing, warmongering, power-hungry monster that could only recently be counted as a human being again.

In spite of being these things, he still valued honor. Ethics.

 _Bushido._

Kind of. He disagreed with key aspects of what he had been taught _bushido_ was ( _seppuku_ , torture and deception being okay in some circumstances, the like), but he agreed with the intent behind it.

At any rate, if these three were any indication, that honor was gone. Out the window. Kapoof.

In its place was brutality and profit-motive. No sense of right and wrong, no rules, no limits.

A tragedy.

Ryuji raised an eyebrow. "Do they work for anyone?"

"Some local tyrant named Tsuyoshi Kanda."

She paused a moment, glancing away before looking back at him. "You weren't thinking of-"

Ryuji held up his hand. "Wouldn't dream of it." He lied.

Ryuji recognized that name, and the thugs' behavior made a lot more sense. Kanda embodied everything that could potentially go wrong with organized crime, all the potential for the corruption of the power that comes from operating outside of the law. He was surprised, though. He thought Kanda had died.

Ryuji would correct that when Kanda came for him. He was absolutely dumb enough to try that. He'd been dumb enough to think he could take down the Dragon of Dojima, and if _that_ didn't say it all, Ryuji didn't know what did.

The old woman frowned and waggled her finger at Ryuji in warning. "Listen here, buster: don't do anything stupid."

Ryuji smirked. "A real man should be at least a little stupid."

His father had told him that once after Ryuji had bemoaned inability to complete his literature homework at Kumo's ninja academy.

He went on to receive a B in that class; far above what he had expected.

A grin slowly spread across the old woman's face. She didn't say anything else, instead returning to the box she had been struggling with earlier. Ryuji picked up the small paper bag of takoyaki and carefully slipped a small wad of ryo into her back pocket.

Ryuji stood back up straight and munched on his breakfast as he scanned the crowd of people for the three thugs he had just scared off. Unfortunately, his massive height advantage didn't let him see through walls. He had scared them too well, they were long gone.

He frowned, looking down at his free hand. He curled his hand into a fist, then unclenched it, repeating the process a few times.

He came to the conclusion that he had been too harsh. Those three were just kids, probably following their boss' orders without really even thinking about it. He had been like that, once upon a time.

He smiled nostalgically. In spite of what he had been doing, he still remembered his teenage years fondly. He believed that there was a certain appeal to a life that consisted of nothing but eating, sleeping, fucking, and fighting, or some combination thereof. That appeal had faded after he had entered his mid-twenties and taken on dozens of new responsibilities as Second Chairman ( _Kaicho_ ) of the Go-Ryu following Jin Goda's passing, but for someone that was still in their "young and stupid" phase, there was nothing better.

Ryuji sat down on a nearby bench and enjoyed his breakfast, trying to stand out as much as he possibly could. He stretched out flashing his Leaf headband that he had tied around his thigh. He would give Kanda any hints he needed to find him, but after what Ryuji guessed was thirty minutes (it was closer to forty-five) of nothing, Ryuji gave up, discarded the paper boat he had received his takoyaki in, and started towards the town's gates. It wasn't like he didn't want to take Kanda out, now was just the wrong time. He had no information to go on, no place to look, to people no interrogate.

Then he had an idea. He could send his team on their first mission alone after the exams had concluded. An idiot like Kanda, even with his minions, was no match for his team of little monsters, and Ryuji doubted age had done Kanda any favors.

Then, another idea.

He didn't have any information, but he knew someone in the area that did.

A quick search and a few greased palms later, and Ryuji once again found himself in front of a building much larger than he had expected. Above two painfully-expensive-looking glass doors was a sign.

It read "Kanemura Enterprises."

He was greeted at large glass doors by two bouncers. One was large with a face shaped like a brick and tiny eyes, and the other resembled a chimpanzee in facial structure and stature. Both wore expensive-looking suits, and both visibly stiffened when Ryuji approached them.

"Takeshi Kido. Name ring a bell? And don't tell me he isn't here." Ryuji said flatly.

The two men glanced at each other. Both of them wore faces of controlled nervousness.

The ape-faced one spoke first. "He isn't accepting visitors right now."

"Tell him an old friend's here to see him." Ryuji more or less instructed. Even though he was out of the business now, he still held incredible amounts of influence.

The large one with the brick-shaped face frowned, creasing his forehead as he glanced inside the building. He held up a finger. "One moment, please."

Ryuji nodded. "Good choice."

The ape-faced man slapped the larger man's arm with the back of his hand. "What're you doin', Katashi? You're just gonna let this guy-"

The man that was apparently named Katashi gripped the smaller man's shoulder. "Sho, this is Ryuji Inazuma. He's coming in whether we want him to or not." He hissed.

Sho just scowled indignantly. "Who the fuck is-"

Another voice spoke. "That's the man that took down the Third Raikage and ran the Go-Ryu for decades. Show some respect."

Ryuji looked behind the two men to see that there was now a third standing behind them, having silently opened the doors. It took skill to be that quiet.

This skill was to be expected of someone like this third man.

He was quite tall, standing at about 6'1. He was very muscular, but that wasn't immediately visible through the deep blue suit he was wearing. He had a strong jaw, prominent cheekbones, a large, pointed nose, and deep blue, thoughtful eyes. His hair was short, with neat bangs covering the right side of his forehead.

Ryuji smirked. "Nice to see ya, Arai."

Arai smiled back. "Likewise, friend."

Arai pushed past the two bouncers. "I'll take you to the boss."

Ryuji followed Arai past the bouncers and into the large building. The halls were surprisingly busy, filled with men in cheap-looking business attire scrambling around.

"Some business ya got here," Ryuji observed, eyes following a large group of men around a table in a meeting room.

"Kido insisted we enter into legitimate business practices when he took power." Arai explained.

"What kinda business?"

"Finances, mostly," Arai said, motioning around him, "investments, loans; we're functionally a bank in some aspects."

Ryuji grinned slightly, changing the subject. "Hey, so how was it that Kido got to be the boss and not you? Weren't you-"

Arai held up a hand. "I was his superior, but after seeing how he took charge of the family following the Shibata family's implosion, I felt I had more to learn form him than he had to learn from me."

Ryuji was going to continue that conversation when he noticed they had stopped in front of an office. A plaque next to the door read "Takeshi Kido."

Ryuji smiled at Arai. "Thanks."

Arai smiled back, a rarity. "Of course. "

Arai took his leave as Ryuji entered the office. Inside, a man sat at a desk. He was wearing a simple, extremely crinkled red dress shirt and black dress slacks, and his black hair with dark red highlights was slicked back with a mixture of product and sweat. He had a young-looking face, one Ryuji would describe more as "cute" than "handsome," but still held a certain kind of playful, boyish appeal. His gold eyes were bloodshot, and he was frantically scribbling away on a sheet of paper; something about a large sum of money just disappearing into thin air.

That happened a lot in the Yakuza world.

Ryuji cleared his throat politely.

Kido looked up and grinned. "Ryuji! What can I do for you?"

"I need ya to get some of yer shinobi on a low-level guy named Tsuyoshi Kanda. Track him, get dirt on him, anything an' everything you can get."  
Kido leaned back, rubbing his eyes. "We got most of our guys working on finding a few million Ryo that went missing recently, but I'll see what I can do."

Normally, Ryuji would be highly skeptical of a promise that vague, but this was Takeshi Kido. He kept his promises.

"Thanks," Ryuji turned to leave, placing his hand on the door handle. Then, he turned back to look at Kido. "And Kido, buddy, try an' get some sleep some time soon, alright?"

"Uh huh." Kido mumbled, quickly folding the piece of paper into an origami bird, blowing some bright orange chakra into it, and sending it out the window. It flapped away, heading off to the east.

Ryuji exited the office,

Ryuji felt a few quick taps on his shoulder as he neared the gates.

"Long time no see, _Nidaime_."

Ryuji turned around and found himself looking down at a fragment of his past. He hadn't expected this, and he cursed himself for not hearing it coming.

"Nikaido." Ryuji greeted curtly.

Tetsuo Nikaido was broad of shoulder, narrow of waist, and of average height. He had short spiky black hair that came to a point like a horn above his forehead, the rest being cut so short it didn't really spike anywhere else. He had a flat, ruggedly-handsome face, a small, hooked nose (a result of countless brawls and broken noses), and a strong jaw, the last of which sported a hint of a beard. He wore a powder blue geometrically-patterned kimono and black hakama, and had a black sword strapped to his hip. His beady black eyes looked tired, but hopeful. Stressed and exhausted, but determined. That was a familiar look.

"It's an honor to-." He started, bowing deeply.

Ryuji cut him off. "Do we hafta go through this _every_ _damn time_ I come down here, Tetsu? I'm not goin' back."

"If you want back in, I could make it happen in a heartbeat. Just say the word and you can rule the world again." He offered, desperation apparent to a trained ear like Ryuji's.

Ryuji rubbed his forehead, attempting to sooth the sudden ache he was feeling. "Why me? Why're you so hung up on me? I picked you out of all my lieutenants to lead the family and keep our guys employed. Ya don't need me anymore."

Nikaido clenched his fists and look at his feet. "After what the Tojo did, after what Kazuma Kiryu did..."

He looked up at Ryuji, eyes burning. "I can't let that stand. I won't."

"Kiryu didn't-" Ryuji started, " ah, forget about him. I couldn't beat the man. Simple as that."

Nikaido bared his teeth. "That's a damn lie! How can you even say that?!"

"It's been more 'n fifteen years, Tetsu, and he's done with the life too. Our time is over. I passed the Go-Ryu along to you, and the Tojo has Daigo Dojima now. He's a smart guy that's more 'n willing to talk with ya."

"We're lost without you." He begged pathetically, dodging Ryuji's suggestion of diplomacy.

"Tough. Suck it up and talk to Daigo like a big boy. I'm not a part of yer world anymore." Ryuji said bluntly.

Nikaido paused a moment, gathering himself. He breathed deeply and stood up straight. He removed a small slip of paper from his pocket and offered it to Ryuji. "Come see me when you change your mind."

Ryuji took the piece of paper not because he had any intent of following up on the offer, but just to put the poor kid's mind at ease.

"Ain't long now, _Kaicho_. You _will_ change your mind." He said ominously.

Ryuji narrowed his eyes at him.

Nikaido bowed deeply before walking away. Ryuji watched him leave, stuffing the piece of paper in his wallet. He would get it examined for poisons or traces of chakra later.

After he exited the village gates, he formed the Tiger seal and gathered as much chakra in his hands as he could muster (enough to level a small neighborhood), positioning himself northward, towards Konoha.

He performed the _Shunshin_ , and the world blurred for an instant in an explosion of electricity. The blurring faded, and he was back in Konoha.

More specifically, he was just outside the KMPF's primary station. Whenever he "teleported" that far, he didn't always know where exactly he'd end up. He found it extremely funny that _this_ of all places was where he usually wound up, though on at least one highly memorable occasion, he had appeared in the women's portion of the Hot Springs when many of the female Jounin were relaxing there.

That hadn't been a fun time for anyone, except perhaps Anko.

Ryuji looked through the window between the building's two entrances, and saw his sister arguing with the phone.

She resembled their mother in the same way Ryuji resembled his father, but where Ryuji looked like someone had narrowed his father's nostrils, shrunk and pulled back his ears, and narrowed his eyes, Kaoru almost completely mirrored their mother. When Ryuji had met her father, a cop from the capital of the Land of Lightning named Jiro Kawara, Ryuji had been on the other side of his sword. They were on decent terms now; enough to talk with each other as if Ryuji's transgressions were of the mundane variety.

Kaoru was tall by Konoha standards, standing at about 5'7. Her medium-length black hair was pulled back extremely tightly into a bun, and parted down the right side of her head. Two steel chopsticks stuck out her hair. Her eyes were larger than Ryuji's, but of roughly the same shape. Her jaw, however, was much more narrow. Her skin wasn't pale, but it was fairer than what Ryuji saw on a lot of people in Konoha, bar certain clans (the noble clans, mostly).

Her face could be described as pretty, beautiful, even, but Ryuji would describe her more as "handsome." There was a certain hardness to her expressions that detracted from her femininity. Her job had aged her considerably as well, to the point where she looked closer to thirty opposed to twenty-five, and she behaved much more like a woman of fifty-five. This intellectual maturity probably explained her attraction to older men. Not _old_ old men like the Hokage, just men with "experience."

Like Kazuma Kiryu, tragically.

If one compared all three of his mother's children on the basis of their resemblance to her, Ryuji looked the least like her (though he had retained her eyes, her ears, her nose, and a few other very minor things), Kaoru (unsurprisingly) looked the most like her as a near carbon-copy, and Yuudai was the closest to 50/50, with her longer face and sharper features on their father's build and coloring.

Kaoru pulled the phone away from her head and glared at it in muted disgust before slamming it back down on its hook. She leaned back, breathing deeply and rubbing her eyes. When she lowered her hand, she noticed Ryuji, blinking in surprise. She smiled tiredly, waving at him. He smiled and waved back before walking up the steps, entering the building, and entering her office. Her desk, normally neatly organized, was covered in dozens of papers and photographs that Ryuji guessed were case files.

"Mornin', sis." He greeted warmly.

She turned her head in his direction, eyes unfocused. "Hello, Ryuji."

Ryuji took a seat in front of her desk. "You okay? Ya look a little distracted."

She blinked and rubbed her eyes, exhaling tiredly. "The Third Hokage's been working us to the bone to find Orochimaru, and we've been going over a lot of the old files on him. Some of it is...hard to look at."

Ryuji selected a folder at random and picked it up, flipping through it.

Ryuji was not a squeamish man. It took something bad to elicit a visible reaction from him.

These images that he was looking at were, in fact, that bad.

Kaoru was a big girl, and she had been in law enforcement long enough to to have probably a higher tolerance for this kind of thing than even Ryuji, but it still bothered him that the first thing she was doing this morning, and likely the past few mornings, was carefully examining images of the epitome of human evil for the slightest hint of information about Orochimaru.

Ryuji shook his head in disgust, closing the folder and placing it back on her desk without a word. His face probably said everything that needed to be said.

Kaoru rubbed her left temple. "Did you need me for something?"

"Just sayin' hi."

"Hi," she greeted curtly before looking back down at her papers. A few seconds passed of Ryuji staring at her before she looked back up. "Sorry, no time for small talk." She said, tilting her head back down at her desk and grabbing another folder.

"When was the last time you had a day off?"

She opened up the folder, grabbed a pen from a mug on her desk, and began scribbling on one of the papers within. "Don't remember."

Ryuji waited for her to say something else for a few seconds before standing up out of the chair and walking towards the door. "Nice seein' ya."

"Mhm." She grunted, eyes scanning something in the folder.

Then Ryuji remembered something he couldn't believe he had forgotten. "Oh yeah. Need ya to take a look at somethin'."

She didn't respond. Ryuji pulled the slip of paper he had received from Nikaido from his wallet and presented it to her, clearing his throat to gain her attention.

She looked up and took the slip of paper. "What's this?"

"Tetsuo Nikaido pestered me about joinin' up with the Omi Alliance and the Go-Ryu again. Gave me that slip of paper when I told him to take a hike."

She turned the piece of paper over in her fingers. "I'll have forensics look at it." She looked up at him. She smiled slightly. "Thanks for this, Ryuji. Really."

Ryuji exhaled. "Just go easy on the raids, alright? A lotta yakuza are just kids that can't see past today; got sucked into the business with promises of money and women."

She blinked pointedly. "You do your job, I'll do mine."

Ryuji sighed tiredly, shaking his head. "See ya, Kaoru."

"Have a good day, Ryuji."

Ryuji exited the building. He had expected something like that. Kaoru was a woman dedicated to her job; addicted to it, even. He didn't get to speak with her often, but this was a good thing for her line of work, and had resulted in her skyrocketing to the highest position available in the KMPF that still consisted primarily of field work. Back when she was a part of Kumo's police force, her ferocity and ruthlessness as a detective, and their youngest (she had started at thirteen), had resulted in a nickname.

The "Yakuza Eater."

While they had a friendly relationship now, they had first met when she had tried to kill him with her _nodachi_ , which possesed her own nickname, as she had never given it one. This meeting had resulted in the scar he sported on his upper lip.

He smiled.

Good times.

Ryuji gauged the time at about 10:30 in the morning. Eiji was probably up by now, and Mayumi would be asleep for another few hours. He oriented himself in the correct direction and "teleported" himself once again, this time to Himawari's front door. He knocked on it three times.

He heard small footsteps approach the door.

A few clicks and a long creaking sound later, and Eiji had met him at the door. He was still dressed in pajamas, a black t-shirt and black flannel pajama pants. No socks. Ryuji didn't see Eiji without long sleeves very often, and Eiji was by far the most muscular ten-year-old child he'd ever seen. Only his mother and Might Guy had come close. Even _Yuudai_ hadn't been like this at Eiji's age.

He smiled subtly, sleepily. "Good morning, Ryuji-sensei." He yawned.

Ryuji smiled. "Mornin', kid. How ya feelin'?"

He lifted up his arm, which Ryuji now noticed was wrapped in a cast. "I'm fine."

Ryuji placed his hand under Eiji's arm, kneeling down and examining the cast. It was covered in scratches and indentations that looked like they were from collisions with shuriken and/or kunai. Ryuji turned Eiji's arm over, and saw it was similarly damaged on all sides. "What've you been doin' to scuff this thing up so bad?"

Ryuji heard Himawari's voice from somewhere else in the apartment. "He trained all day yesterday in Itachi's old training room."

"Got my ass handed to me, more like." Eiji grumbled, averting his eyes.

Ryuji was thoroughly confused. For Eiji to casually swear like that, it must have really shaken him. "Trainin' room?"

"My father had this place he used to go to practice after he surpassed all his peers. The, uh, the Hokage showed it to me. He used to spar with some of his own shadow clones, and I did too. They use shuriken a lot." Eiji explained, talking with his hands.

Ryuji thought it was cute the way he talked with his hands (or hand, in this case, he held the door open with the other one), just like his mother.

"Ah," Ryuji said, nodding slowly, "What was it like-"

"Eiji, are you going to keep your sensei at the door?" Himawari asked Eiji, still out of view.

Eiji's face switched between a few different expressions, surprise, embarrassment, frustration, and finally back to his usual neutral expression in the span of a second and a half before he stepped aside and motioned for Ryuji to enter the apartment with his free arm. "Oh, heh, whoops. Sorry. Come in, please."

Ryuji chuckled and rubbed Eiji's head, eliciting a frustrated and suprised grunt from the latter. "It's fine, kid. It's still the mornin'. So what was it like, fightin' yer dad?"

Ryuji was legitimately curious. He had never seen Itachi aside from a wanted poster here and there, and while those images had made it extremely clear Eiji would turn out to be one of those impossibly attractive people (among them Ryuji could count Kakashi Hatake, Kurenai Yuuhi, Kazuma Kiryu, and, evidently, both of Eiji's parents), it hadn't told him much aside from what he looked like. The absurd numbers attached to his name gave him a basic idea of his strength, but not much in the way of specifics.

He was also worried about what Eiji was feeling right now. Physical training when one was emotionally compromised could be extremely helpful or extremely hurtful depending on the exercise.

Eiji inhaled, then exhaled slowly, leading Ruji inside and closing the door behind him. " It was...difficult. He was fast. Really, _really_ fast."

Ryuji had been asking about what Eiji had felt on an emotional level, but he either hadn't felt anything noteworthy or, more likely, he just didn't feel like sharing right now. That was understandable.

"Wouldn't those eyes of yours help with that?" Ryuji asked, referencing the Sharingan and Byakugan as he wiped his feet on the inside doormat.

Eiji plopped himself down on their large blue couch, crossing his legs. He rested his elbows on his knees and interlaced his fingers, resting his chin on his hands. Ryuji could practically see the cogs turning in his head. "Not where they are now. He had two fully-evolved Sharingan. I only have one, and it only has two of those curly, uh, comma-like things; _Tomoe_ , I think they're called."

Eiji could solve a problem on his own extremely well, but he seemed to be able to do it faster if he could bounce ideas off of someone else.

Ryuji took a seat across from him in a floral-patterned armchair clearly meant for two people, but was a perfect fit for him. He noticed an extremely thick book resting on the couch's armrest. He read the cover.

 _A Comprehensive History of the Three Shinobi World Wars_ , by Jiraiya of the Sannin.

Intense book for a kid to read, but it covered everything Ryuji had planned to teach Eiji about during their break and meal times in the coming month.

"Anything you can do to fix that?" He asked.

"Nothing I can force to happen. The book I have on the Uchiha says that the Sharingan is strengthened by emotional trauma, and the Byakugan doesn't evolve in the same way; that's common knowledge. I could always try..."

Ryuji was distracted by some noises from the kitchen, and turned his head. Naruto, still in his pajamas, was sitting at the counter, head bobbing sleepily. Himawari, still in her distractingly tight workout gear, appeared to be making him breakfast.

Ryuji decided to perform an experiment; see how aware Eiji was of what people were doing around him while he was monologuing about jutsu.

Ryuji forced his gaze slowly down Himawari's back as she cooked something that smelled like eggs. on a skillet when he saw and heard a kunai embed itself in the chair's armrest with a dull _thunk_ , a centimeter or so below his right hand.

Eiji glowered at Ryuji, Sharingan blazing. "No."

Ryuji smirked slightly, narrowing his eyes. "Good protective instincts."

He removed the kunai from the chair and tossed it back to Eiji, who caught it between his index and middle fingers and pulled up his left pant leg, revealing a kunai holster strapped to his calf. He slipped the kunai into the one empty slot and lowered his pant leg, keeping his eyes on Ryuji the whole time. "Thanks."

Himawari turned her head around to look at Ryuji. "You eat yet, Ryuji?"

"Had something before I got here. Thanks." Ryuji said.

"Is that a yes, or a no?"

"No thanks." Ryuji clarified.

She nodded and turned back to the skillet.

Naruto yawned, briefly raising his head from the countertop and mumbling something about Himawari hurrying up so he could go train with-

Wait, did Ryuji hear that correctly? There's no way he could be talking about the same "Pervy Sage" he knew.

"Hey, kid, did you just say yer gonna go train with 'Pervy Sage?' That wouldn't happen to be Jiraiya of the Sannin, would it? The Toad Sage? Long white hair? Really gets around?"

"Mhm." Naruto mumbled, eyes still closed.

Himawari emptied the contents of the skillet, some scrambled eggs and strips of bacon, onto a plate and placed them in front of Naruto, along with a fork. "Jiraiya's back in town and he's helping Naruto and Mayumi prepare for the finals." She explained, propping Naruto up and coaxing his eyes open. He inhaled deeply through his nose and his eyes shot open. Himawari kissed him on the cheek as he thanked her for the food and dug in. Himawari joined Eiji on the couch, draping her arm over his shoulder and giving him a light squeeze.

Ryuji blinked. That was a lot of information to process. If Jiraiya was back, that meant he had either heard news of Orochimaru or had returned to take custody of Naruto, Mayumi, or both. Knowing Himawari, she'd probably fight Konoha's archaic laws on the matter tooth and nail to keep him. Hell, she'd probably even fight the Hokage if she had to, and given the shape the old man was in, she'd probably win.

Or Jiraiya had just happened to chase the right skirts in the right directions for the right amount of time, and he had wound up back here by sheer circumstance.

Eiji smiled, laughing quietly. It wasn't a giggle, Eiji didn't giggle unless something surprised him, but it also wasn't a chuckle, Eiji didn't really chuckle either.

"Sounds look like you know him." Eiji observed in a tone that suggested he already knew a great deal about Jiraiya. If he was reading that book, he probably knew all about Jiraiya's history by now.

Ryuji knew him well. Jiraiya was one of the few men Ryuji still had a healthy fear of, in spite of the good relationship they maintained. Orochimaru didn't scare him. Orochimaru, behind all the pompous villainy and scheming, was just a weak little man that was afraid and resentful of the world. He was dangerous, but nothing Ryuji couldn't handle with the right help or preparation.  
Jiraiya, however, was afraid of nothing, and there was nothing more dangerous than a man that didn't fear death.

"I do. Nice guy." Ryuji said plainly, neutrally.

"So I'm guessing you came by to help this guy prep for the finals?" Himawari asked, squeezing Eiji.

"Yep. You know who yer gonna be fightin'?" Ryuji asked, trying to decide what direction he should take Eiji's training.

"A Genin from Kusagakure. Shigeri." Eiji said.

Oh. Oh dear. That wasn't good.

Eiji and Himawari cocked their heads to the left at the same time, adopting nearly identical expressions of confusion. Humorously enough, this resulted in Himawari's hair falling in Eiji's face.

"What's wrong?" Eiji asked, apparently picking up on Ryuji's change in expression as he gently removed his mother's hair from his face.

"Shigeri, well," Ryuji started slowly, "he got paired up with his own teammate in the prelims, some poor sap named Aito. Killed him a few seconds into the match."

Himawari stiffened, grip tightening on Eiji.

Eiji just blinked, then cocked his head to the side again. "How?"

"Turned his arm to steel and cut Aito's throat." Ryuji said, performing the same motion with his own hand, a swift open-handed chop that grazed an imaginary opponent's neck with his fingernails.

Himawari looked mutedly horrified.

Eiji just looked confused. "How did he do that?"

That question sounded more like: "Can I learn how to do that?"

"Kid's got somethin' called," Ryuji leaned over, scratching his head as if to dislodge an unavailable memory, "ah shit, what's it called, err, oh yeah. A _kekkei tota_. He's affined to water, fire, and earth natures, and combines 'em all to turn his body to steel. It's like yer eyes. Born with it. Can't learn it." Ryuji explained.

Eiji raised his fist to his mouth and thought for a few seconds. Then he blinked and looked up at Ryuji. "Did you say he killed his own teammate?"

"Unfortunately, yeah, I did."

Eiji blinked. He said nothing.

Himawari leaned over and squeezed Eiji again, looking down at him with concern. "Sweetie? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he mumbled, blinking rapidly, "I'm just trying to figure out why someone would kill their own teammate. Was he causing problems for their team? Did he-"

Ryuji thought it was interesting that Eiji managed to remain so scientific with the knowledge that he was going to be facing someone who had no qualms with killing his own comrade. He also got the feeling that Eiji's rapid blinking was akin to listening to one half of a conversation on a telephone, or similar to watching someone read a book. There was a lot more happening below the surface than he could see.

"Honestly, Eiji," Ryuji exhaled, shaking his head, "it doesn't really matter why. We need to get you strong enough to take him down, and I don't think you can do that with what you've got in yer toolbag now."

Eiji was very strong for a Genin, but his skillset was limited. Ryuji could count the amount of ninjutsu Eiji could perform, or at least the techniques Ryuji knew about, on one hand. Eiji was a genius when it came to Taijutsu, martial arts and hand-to-hand combat, but when it came to ninjutsu, he didn't use anything other than the Fireball jutsu, the transformation jutsu and the occasional substitution jutsu.

Eiji looked more confused than anything else. "I mean, wouldn't the Gentle Fist work? It's worked on everything else."

Ryuji held up his hands. "Lemme explain some things about what Shigeri can do; I've fought a few people that can do what he does. I'm still alive, an' mosta those people are six feet under."

"What about the rest?" Eiji asked.

"He lives out in the Land of Iron somewhere." Ryuji answered. He wasn't being vague deliberately, he legitmately didn't know where Saejima was exactly. Himawari squeezed Eiji again. "We're listening."

Eiji nodded in agreement. "."

Naruto continued to loudly devour his breakfast in the background.

Ryuji sat up straight, having started to slip a few minutes ago, and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees much in the same way Eiji had. "Okay, so Steel Style, I think that's what it's called, turns the entire body to steel and lets the user make steel constructs outta their chakra. The Gentle Fist wouldn't work on Shigeri because he can harden up his insides, and tryin' to use normal taijutsu on him is more likely to break yer hands or feet than hurt him."

Eiji furrowed his brow. "Huh. What about genjutsu?"

Ryuji shook his head. "That doesn't work either, 'least not the visual stuff. I don't know any genjutsu, but I've seen a few people try. When they turn to steel, their body becomes reflective, like a mirror. Visual genjutsu that you might try with yer Sharingan would just get sent back yer way, an' I don't know anyone that can do auditory genjutsu. Sorry." He admitted apologetically.

"What kinds of nature transformations would work?"

Ryuji held up two fingers. "The only two that work are Water and Lightnin' Styles. When Shigeri turns to steel, he gets a lot heavier, and you could drown him. That wouldn't work for ya, because yer not affined to water and you don't have enough usable chakra to create that much water in the first place. But lightnin' would work great. Steel conducts electricity, and if you pumped enough into

him, you could fry him alive."

Eiji frowned, expression conflicted. "But steel doesn't conduct electricity very well; not as well as silver or gold, at least, I think."

"Yer not just usin' raw electricity. You'd be pumpin' him full of lightnin' chakra, and that mixes with the human body a lot better 'n normal electricity. Add that to the conductivity of steel, an' you got him." Ryuji finished, snapping his fingers. His tone wasn't particularly enthusiastic, Ryuji didn't convey much emotion in his

Eiji nodded slowly. "Oh, okay."

"And how would Eiji be going about this?" Himawari asked in a tone that implied this question had the potential for unsatisfactory answers. Ryuji had to be careful here, but he wasn't about to mince words.

"I was thinkin' he could integrate lightnin' chakra in with his taijutsu. It's what he's best at, right?"

"Right." Eiji agreed.

Now it was Himawari's turn to frown. "That's too dangerous. He'd be too close. What about something ranged? I've seen you shoot lightning from your hands before."

"Mom," Eiji sighed almost ashamedly, "I don't," he sighed again, looking at the floor, "I don't have enough chakra for that." He finished slowly.

That wasn't strictly accurate. He had incredible amounts of chakra, he just couldn't _use_ a lot of it.

Himawari appeared as if she was going to protest further when Ryuji decided to shut her down. "Don't worry, Hima. Eiji'd be learning to form a Lightning Chakra Cloak. Like he said, he doesn't have enough chakra for a full cloak, but I think he can control his chakra well enough to keep it localized to his hands an' feet. He could block anything with that."

Himawari looked mildly relieved by that. Eiji looked excited.

Naruto finished off his breakfast and ran into his bedroom, presumably to get dressed.

Eiji looked up at his mother. "Hey Mom?"

She looked down at him, saying nothing.

"Should I go get dressed?" Eiji asked his mother, probably prompted by Naruto's runing off into his bedroom.

Ryuji thought it was very interesting how Eiji's voice changed when he was speaking to his mother, like he switched back from the miniaturized adult Ryuji knew to the ten-year-old he really was. Ryuji would readily admit that there were times when he talked with Eiji that he forgot he was speaking with someone so young, but then he'd ask something or say something that only someone so young would ask or say, and he'd get dragged back to reality.

She nodded. "Yeah, go ahead."

Eiji practically turned into a blur as he flew from the couch and into his bedroom. Eiji was remarkably quick for someone with minimal speed training. He was only in there for a few minutes, and when he emerged, Ryuji thought he was staring at a miniaturized Madara Uchiha for an instant. Ryuji had only seen pictures in Kumo's history books, but the clothing and hair were similar enough to make him squint. He could only assume Eiji had found this attire in the Uchiha compound.

"Ya might want to put on something a bit lighter. Yer gonna be sweatin' a lot. I'd also suggest some gloves and bandages." Ryuji suggested.

Eiji nodded and wriggled out of the large coat, re-entering his room and emerging a minute or two later in a sleeveless black hoodie. He wasn't wearing gloves, but Ryuji spied glove-shaped bulges in Eiji's pockets. A water bottle hung from his hip. That was a good idea. He'd certainly need that.

Ryuji nodded approvingly. "There ya go."

Ryuji turned to Himawari as Eiji sat back down next to her. "Do ya mind if we follow you an' Naruto to meet with Jiraiya? I haven't seen the old creep in too long."

He was requesting more for Eiji's benefit than anything else. Ryuji liked Jiraiya, he was funny as hell, but he would forever remember the first thing Jiraiya had told him after his defection to Konoha had been made official.  
 _Look, buddy, here's the deal: Having you on our side is great, but if I see you take one step out of line, if I see so much as one_ scale _of the Dragon of Kumo, you're done. Gone. Mulch. Toad shit. I won't have someone like that in my village._

Ryuji was still a little worried what was going to happen when Jiraiya found out Ryuji was teaching his daughter.

Himawari nodded, smiling slightly. "That sounds fine."

Eiji looked between his teacher and his mother. His eyes widened, and he shot up off the couch, speaking so quickly that Ryuji couldn't decipher what he was saying. He bolted over to a closet and produced a wakizashi from it, blurring back in front of Ryuji.

"Can you teach me how to use this?" Eiji requested hopefully, holding up the sword.

Ryuji shook his head. "After the exams. We need to focus on expandin' on what ya already know instead of teachin' ya something entirely new."

Eiji looked disappointed. "Oh. That makes sense," he admitted slowly. "but-"

Ryuji couldn't help but smile. He rubbed Eiji's head, silently marvelling at the softness and silken texture of his hair. How in the world did he keep it like this? "Don't worry kid. With all the shit I'm about to put ya through, a month'll fly like _that_." He finished, snapping his fingers.

Eiji cocked his head to the side again. "Like what? What are we going to be doing?"

Oh, poor kid didn't know what he was in for.

* * *

Ryuji, Eiji, Himawari, and Naruto left to meet up with Jiraiya a few minutes later. For whatever reason, Jiraiya didn't show up at the designated meeting point when he was supposed to, and neither did Mayumi. Eiji and Ryuji decided to go ahead and get on with Eiji's training after waiting fifteen minutes past the set arrival time. Eiji was disappointed that he wasn't going to meet the author of some of his favorite books, but Ryuji was relieved that the likelihood he would receive a Rasengan to the stomach today had dropped to roughly three percent. Coincidentally, this was also the likelihood Ryuji gauged at Eiji inventing the Rasengan on his own.

* * *

Ryuji and Eiji arrived at Ryuji's preferred training ground, the same one Might Guy and Rock Lee used most often. They weren't here today, given that Lee was in the hospital, but they could usually be found here.

This place used to be a construction aggregate of sorts back when Ryuji had first arrived in Konoha, but it had since been abandoned for some reason or another. Now, it was officially designated as a training grounds for Earth Style users and mid-to-high level taijutsu specialists. In Ryuji's opinion, this was a fantastic reuse of resources.

The grounds themselves covered roughly two square miles of blocky and uneven stone terrain, in the center of which was a relatively small (a hundred feet across) but deceptively deep body of dark water.

Eiji looked around, taking in his surroundings. "Do you come out here often, sensei?"

Ryuji bent over and picked up a rock, turning it over in his hand. "Used to. I spend most of my time with you three now."

Eiji mimicked Ryuji, picking up a rock. He examined the rock for a solid ten seconds before holding it up to Ryuji. "This rock is orange."

Ryuji looked down at the rock in Eiji's hands. It was streaked with orange. "That means it's got a lot of iron in it. Iron turns orange when it's exposed to the air." Ryuji explained.

Eiji blinked curiously at the rock. "Oxygen, specifically, I think."

He activated his Byakugan and examined the rock for a moment before discarding it over his shoulder. "So what are we going to start with?"

"Have you ever performed a lightnin'-natured jutsu before?" Ryuji inquired.

"I've copied a few." Eiji said, shrugging.

"But have you actually ever pulled one off?"

"...no." Eiji admitted slowly.

"That's fine. I'm just tryin' to gauge where you are." Ryuji clarified.

Eiji looked at Ryuji expectantly.

Ryuji thought for a moment, placing his hands on his hips and staring at the ground. How should he start? How had he first figured out how to form a chakra cloak? His father had been no help in the matter and he had done it largely by himself-

Oh.

"Okay, Eiji, I want you to concentrate some chakra in yer hands." Ryuji instructed.

Eiji raised his hands, and within seconds they were enveloped in a sparkling white glow. In all his years in this world, he had never seen someone with chakra of that color before. "Now what?" He asked.

"That was quick..." Ryuji noted quietly, creasing his brow. "Now I want you to apply some kind of nature transformation to it."

"What kind?"

"Whatever comes most naturally."

Eiji nodded, and the white chakra quickly began to flicker and dance around his forearms. A second later, Eiji's arms were suddenly enveloped in white hot fire. His cast quickly caught fire and cracked. Eiji squeaked in surprise and the flames dissipated. He swatted frantically at his cast and broke it off, stamping the flaming mess out with his foot.

Ryuji looked at the startled boy with interest. Ryuji's suspicions had just been confirmed. Eiji may have been affined to fire and lightning, but he leaned towards fire, probably from his consistent usage of the fireball jutsu.

Ryuji smiled, chuckling. "Don't worry, it won't hurt ya. Yer chakra forms a protective layer around yer skin when ya form the cloak."

Ryuji couldn't pull off a fire chakra cloak, he wasn't affined to fire, but he knew a few people that could, and one of them had once explained to him how it worked.

Eiji looked back down at his arms and cautiously reformed the partial cloak. After he appeared to be confident that he wasn't melting himself, he stretched the flames up to his shoulders. He extended his arm slowly and held out his hand. Fire swirled into his palm and formed an unstable ball of flames. Eiji looked at it curiously before it exploded in his face, blasting him backwards and onto the ground.

Ryuji walked over to him and leaned over, grinning and stifling a laugh. "You alright there, kid?"

Eiji's expression of surprise was absolutely priceless. He was silent for about fifteen seconds before he spoke. "...I didn't expect that to happen."

Ryuji offered Eiji his hand. "Ya don't usually know when somethin's gonna blow up in yer face, kid."

Eiji took his hand and Ryuji swiftly yanked him to his feet. Eiji coughed up some soot.

Ryuji dusted Eiji off. "Alright, now I want you to try an' do the same thing, but with lightnin'-natured chakra."

Eiji nodded and raised his arms, coating them with white chakra. He scrunched up his forehead and narrowed his eyes in consternation. His chakra began to crackle and spark, but before it was fully transformed, it exploded into flames again. He dissipated the flames and tried again. He got a little farther this time, but it shifted to fire again. Eiji waved the flames away in frustration.

Ryuji frowned, pressing his lips together. "What're ya havin' trouble with?"

Eiji glared at his hands angrily. "I-I don't know."

He looked up at Ryuji hopefully, Sharingan activating. "Could you do it? I could copy-"

Ryuji shook his head. "No. You gotta figure it out on yer own."

"Why? This would go a lot quicker if I could just-" Eiji started, clearly frustrated.

Ryuji cut him off. "No Sharingan. When we're training, yer not gonna use it. An' keep that Byakugan off too."

Eiji huffed resentfully, glaring at Ryuji with eyes he still hadn't turned off. "Why?"

Ryuji had to handle this carefully. This was the first of many teachable moments he'd have with Eiji, and he needed to reverse any damage his mother may have done by her coddling him, or dispel any illusions he may have had about the world.

Ryuji folded his arms. "What happens if ya lose those eyes of yours, kid? You gonna be able to pull off all the jutsu ya copied with it then?"

Eiji looked at the ground, expression conflicted. This was probably the first time he had ever thought about that. "I...don't know."

Ryuji kneeled down and placed his hand on Eiji's shoulder, completely covering it. "Ya gotta prepare for every eventuality, Eiji. Ya never know what might happen out there. If you rely on those eyes too much, and ya lose 'em, ya might get stuck without any of yer jutsu."

Eiji kept his eyes trained on the ground. The red faded from his left eye.

"The other one too."

Eiji pulled the hair from his face and revealed the he had turned off his Byakugan as well.

Ryuji patted his shoulder, nodding approvingly. "Good man. Now try again."

Eiji was silent for a good while. He didn't move, he just stood there, blinking occasionally.

Ryuji rubbed his shoulder. "You still in there, kid?"

Eiji nodded slowly, rubbing his eye. "Yeah, I'm still here." He said slowly.

Ryuji stood back up and walked over to a nearby rock, sitting down. Eiji did the same with a rock closer to him, and tried again. Once more, he failed.

"How 'bout you try starting with just one arm?" Ryuji suggested.

Eiji nodded, breathing deeply and raising only his right arm.

"Focus." Ryuji suggested, unable to produce any better advice at the moment.

Chakra swirled around his arm once again, and this time, it began to crackle and spark much quicker than before. Eiji's arm was then rapidly enveloped in bright white electricity. His face quickly turned from frustration to amazement, then to pain. His arm began to shake, and the electricity was discharged into the air. He yelped in surprise and pain and fell onto his backside, clutching at his smoking arm. Ryuji stood and approached Eiji, kneeling down and examining his arm.

Ryuji grimaced. It was covered in electrical burns.

Eiji looked more startled and confused than anything else, but there were still tears in his eyes. "Wha-why-"

Ryuji cut him off. "You got some of that Hyuuga healing ointment?"

Eiji noddd and removed a container of it from a pouch on this inside of his sweatshirt. Ryuji took it from him, absently thanking him before he began to apply some of it to Eiji's arm as gently as he could. "Electrical chakra is real hard to control, kid. Told ya that already. If yer not careful, you can hurt yerself."

Eiji frowned, wiping his eyes with his free arm. "I, uh, I think I should have listened better."

"Prob'ly," Ryuji conceded, "but this is where we are now."

Ryuji finished applying the ointment before swiftly and efficiently applying a bandage. Eiji flexed his bandaged arm, twisting it around and moving his fingers. "Thanks." He said quietly.

"Yer doin' it next time. Gotta learn how to treat wounds if ya can't use chakra."

Eiji didn't object this time. That was valuable knowledge, knowing that Eiji seemed to learn best the hard way.

Ryuji extended his hand, and Eiji took his hand. Ryuji pulled Eiji to his feet before placing bis hands on his hips and sighing deeply. "Alright, kid, ya ready to get started? We gotta whip you into shape."

Eiji just shrugged. "Yes?"

"You ready?" Ryuji repeated, more sternly this time.

Eiji stood up a bit straighter. He nodded with a subtle conviction. "Yes, sensei."

Ryuji clapped Eiji's back enthusiastically. "Good man. Now, have you ever heard of the rock climbing exercise?"

Eiji cocked his head to the side. "What?"

* * *

 **A/N:** And now we finally have Chapter 21, in which Eiji manages to bullshit his way into basic firebending and we learn a bit more about Ryuji's criminal past.

A few things to say/explain/discuss/wax poetic about. Just musings, thoughts, explanations, and discussions of just little things about the story that have so far remained in my head and not yet been put to paper.

Sayuri wasn't allowed to heal Eiji's arm and just let him go because of some policies at the hospital relating to health insurance, legal liability, stuff like that. I have to go to the emergency room a lot because of my mother's health condition, so trust me when I say that hospitals have some rules that just scream "lawyer-friendly," and have no practical purpose when it comes to treating the patient and _fixing the problem_.

Ryuji's accent in Japanese is the Kansai dialect, primarily _Osaka-ben_. I'd translate his manner of speaking to an intense but sophisticated southern twang or "Jersey lilt" for American-English speakers, perhaps a Cockney or Scottish accent for those in the UK. He's not uneducated, far from it, he just abbreviates and contracts a lot of his speech. Extremely informal, but still very thoughtful and intelligent. Unfortunately, people that speak like this are often stereotyped as being dumb, uneducated, brash, and violent. In case you forgot, (and it's completely fair if you did because the last time I said this was months ago back when Ryuji first showed up) Ryuji's voice actor in Japanese is Masami Iwasaki.

Akiyama's first name is _Shun_ , like _Shu_ : the word for "vermillion" in Japanese. He just prefers his last name, so that's what he tells people his name is, and that's what people call him. Hana calls him "Mr. A," and she's the only one that does. He's voiced by Koichi Yamadera, the badass that voiced the even more badass Spike Spiegel of _Cowboy Bebop_ and the very _not_ badass but still charming as hell Vincent Brooks of _Catherine_.

Hana is voiced by Aya Hirano, and she is in no way related to Kiba's sister.

Kazuko is under the impression that Hana is Akiyama's wife. She is not. Ryuji used the word "partners" to describe them, and Kazuko assumed from that he had meant they were married. It's closer to "Akiyama frequently falls ass-backwards into money and likes to help out people in the area for shits and giggles, and Hana has to manage that, their business, and him.  
He provides the means for their business to function, and she makes it work.  
Don't get me wrong, he's a highly intelligent man that knows how money works and the way it flows, he just prefers to wander around all day, flirt with women to no significant end, and help people. Hana, despite her badgering him so much, really does care about him. She just wishes he'd, oh, I don't know, _**work**_ **.** Maybe shower more and wear different clothes now and again. Basic stuff that normal humans do.

The images Ryuji looks at in the folder on Kaoru's desk basically amount to images of human experimentation WWII on part of the Axis Powers. Don't look that up in Google Images.  
It is _not great_.  
The wikipedia article on Nazi human experimentation is relatively tame and only has two images, if you're morbidly curious.

Kaoru is voiced by Yuu Daiki, and she's meant to sound like an older woman.

Akiyama and Ryuji, along with three others that haven't shown up yet, are based on the "Four Symbols," a concept in Eastern (Chinese/Japanese/Vietnamese) myth. There's the Vermillion Bird of the South (associated with Fire, Propriety, and Summer), the White Tiger of the West (associated with Metal, Righteousness and Autumn), the Black Tortoise of the North (associated with Water, Wisdom, and Winter), and the Azure Dragon of the East (associated with Wood, Benevolence, and Spring). In the center, sometimes, is the Yellow Dragon (associated with Earth, Sincerity, and the change of seasons). Technically, the Yellow Dragon only shows up in the Chinese version of the myth, but hey, I think it's a cool concept, so it goes in here. Ryuji's being in the center does not denote him as the most important, his visual design and character are just meant to reflect the Yellow Dragon: a man grounded firmly in the earth, in sincerity, transparency, honesty, and honor, that doesn't have an opposing force, because he functions as his own. A balance forged in decades of conflict. It's not an entirely _stable_ balance, given that it leans towards violence when things start to go south, but it works well enough the rest of the time.  
Back to the Four Symbols. Sometimes, the Black Tortoise is replaced by or joined by a Snake, and sometimes the Kirin takes the place of the Yellow Dragon in the center of the circle. They will be characters as well, and we've already met one of them.

Lastly, here are Ryuji's stats (the jutsu and tool lists are omitted because they would add an extra few pages to this chapter and it would spoil some things Ryuji can do), written like a Narutopedia entry:

 **稲妻 龍司** **(Inazuma Ryūji); Ryuji Inazuma:**

 **Aliases/Nicknames**

The Dragon of Kumogakure

Terror of the Land of Lightning

The Fallen Dragon

Jiji (mother's pet name for him)

Birthdate: December 25th

Gender: Male

Age (Part 1): 46

Height: 200.66 cm; 6'7

Weight: 114.305 kg; 252 LBS

Team: Team Ryuji/Team 9

Rank: Jounin

 **Occupation**

Kumo-Genin (former)

Kumo-Chunin (former)

Kumo-Jounin (former)

Raikage's Bodyguard (former)

Yakuza (former)

Second Chairman of the Go-Ryu Clan (former)

Mercenary (former)

Seafood Chef (former)

Samurai (former)

Konoha-Jounin

Jounin-Teacher

 **Affiliation**

Kumogakure (former)

Go-Ryu Clan (former)

Land of Iron (former)

Konohagakure

 **Family**

A (Third Raikage): Father

A (Fourth Raikage): Younger Brother

Blue Bee/Fukai: Cousin

Sumiko Inazuma née Yotsuki: Mother

Kaoru Sayama: Half-Sister

Killer Bee: Adoptive Brother

 **Nature Transformations**

Earth Release (Affinity)

Lightning Release (Affinity)

Water Release (Affinity)

 **Databook Stats**

Ninjutsu: 5

Taijutsu: 5

Genjutsu: 0.5

Intelligence: 4

Strength: 5

Speed: 5

Stamina: 5

Hand Seals: 4

Total: 34

 **Trivia**

Likes: Rain, thunderstorms, the ocean. mild earthquakes, Konohagakure, his tattoo, his job, dragons/dragon-themed things, kids (not in the creepy way, jerks), jazz music.

Dislikes: Iwagakure, Kumogakure, Genjutsu, deception/lies, his younger self, Yuudai Inazuma (Fourth Raikage), Onoki (Third Tsuchikage).

Hobbies: Fishing, MST3K-ing mobster films.

Favorite Phrase: "Build your enemy a golden bridge to retreat across."

Favorite Food(s): Takoyaki, Tempura.

Weaknesses: **GENJUTSU** , Kazuma Kiryu, sense of honor and adherence to _bushido_ in a world of shinobi, sense of pride, minimal skills in ranged combat.

 **Completed Missions**

D-Rank: 3

C-Rank: 46

B-Rank: 303

A-Rank: 662

S-Rank: 101

Total: 1,115

(Baby Ryuji: what the fuck is a genjutsu that sounds fucking stupid imma punch it)


	23. Chapter 22: Storms and Steel

Author's Note: So, my first year of college was incredibly harrowing, to say the least. My mental health went into freefall for a bit near the end of the year (depression, anxiety, PTSD, lots of fun stuff), but I've recovered since then. I could only work on this once a month, if that. That said, I came out of it with a tan and a fair bit more muscle and personal discipline, so I'm happy. Now that I have a feeling for college and how to manage my schedule, I should be able to update more frequently, especially seeing as how the next chapter will begin a scene that's been stewing in my head for more than a year now.

Anyways, enjoy. I'll try to get the next chapter out in the following weeks, and I'll start working on it as soon as this is published.

Lastly, I love all of you for your patience and lack of heckling me to get out the next chapter.

Sincerely,

~Essence of Clotheslining

* * *

 **Chapter 22: Storms and Steel**

It was sunny today, as it was most often in the Land of Fire. Birds could be heard chirping, a slight breeze pushed and pulled on the trees and loose-fitting clothing of the people of Konoha, thought it was mostly just the trees, for most people in Konoha were either in a large coliseum that was hosting the final rounds of the Chuunin Exams, or they were at home, watching the same event on their televisions.  
More specifically, most of them had just finished cheering for Naruto Uzumaki's spectacular battle against Neji Hyuuga. Both of them were resting in the nearby infirmary, though Naruto was expected to be ready for his next match by the time this one was concluded, unless he took Himawari's advice and had a talk with Neji, once the latter was able to.  
Himawari Hyuuga was among the former group, along with the rest of the Hyuuga Main House. At the moment, she felt nauseous. She did not often feel nauseous, but whenever she did, it was either because she had gotten sick, or because something had happened with one of her children. In this case, it was her only biological child, and the one that she would shamefully admit to a fair amount of favoritism for.  
She felt a hand on her shoulder. Firm, but gentle. "Himawari, my daughter, breathe. Relax. Eiji will do well, I'm sure of it." Her father reassured her in a tone that sounded almost artificial. He was trying to help, in his own way, but Hiashi Hyuuga had never been good with displaying emotion of any kind.

She relaxed her shoulders slightly and placed her hand on top of her father's. "I just don't want him to get hurt."  
Hiashi removed his hand from his daughter's shoulder, placing it back in his lap. "He has been training rigorously with Mr. Inazuma for the past month. I sincerely doubt that his opponents will be able to touch him, let alone actually hurt him, unless they are truly Chuunin material. I may not like the man, but the _Koryuu_ is a force of nature, and I have no doubt that he's turned Eiji into one as well. For his level, at any rate."  
Himawari didn't doubt it either. Ryuji could wipe entire villages off the map in a matter of days. Whatever wisdom and skills he had passed on to Eiji over the past month would assure his safety, if not victory.  
"I suppose you're right." Himawari conceded. She did not share her feelings of concern for Naruto or Sasuke with her father. That would not receive a particularly warm response.  
That said, Naruto had done spectacularly in his fight against Neji, and Sasuke was, well, _Sasuke_.  
If Eiji lacked his meek attitude and hesitation to harm others, Himawari believed her son would wipe the floor with the competition.  
However, she believed that empathy that made him less effective in combat gave him a strength that was rare among shinobi that would make him well-suited to a leadership position  
She refocused her attention on the arena that the final rounds of the Chuunin Exams would be held in. She was sitting up with the rest of her clan, with her youngest sister Hanabi asleep in her lap.  
Himawari smiled slightly, stroking her youngest sister's brown hair. She didn't know why or how exactly it was that Hanabi had managed to fall asleep in a coliseum of this size, filled with so many people, but she did.  
Hinata, seated to Himawari's left, coughed again. It sounded wet, almost. Definitely not the seasonal allergies that Hyuuga were often prone to.  
Himawari frowned in concern. "That doesn't sound good."  
"I-I'm fine." Hinata rasped meekly.  
Himawari ignored her and scanned her younger sister's respiratory system with her Byakugan.  
The intensity of the internal damage she saw would have made her actively seek out Neji and demolish him again if Naruto hadn't just done so.  
Himawari focused medical chakra in her fingers and placed her hand on top of her sister's head. Then, she released it, flooding Hinata's system with it.  
Himawari smiled and ruffled Hinata's hair. "That should kill the pain and reduce inflammation. We'll get you to the doctor's after this, okay? They can fix you up."  
Hinata smiled and hugged Himawari warmly. "Thank you."  
"Don't mention it. Now-" She started before something the announcer said caught her ear.  
"EIJI HYUUGA VERSUS SHIGERI OF KUSAGAKURE!"  
Raucous cheering followed that announcement, but Himawari's stomach started doing backflips. She'd learned some things about Shigeri in the past few weeks that had truly made her fear for her son's safety.  
A boy that could only be Shigeri walked out into the arena. He was probably around thirteen, perhaps fourteen. His dark brown, nearly black hair was shaved on the sides and long-enough on the top to be pulled back into a ponytail that reached down to the center of his shoulders, in-between his shoulder blades. His eyes were blue, and his skin was dark, close to a pigment one might find in Kumogakure. He wore a sleeveless variant of standard Kusagakure shinobi attire. Himawari's Byakugan told her that his chakra was a light purple color; verging on periwinkle but retaining enough red to indicate a fair amount of boldness and aggressiveness. Nowhere close to the eldritch chakra of the Nine-Tails, but noticeable.  
He stood in the arena for a moment, looking around almost boredly, before raising his hands in the air, expression indicating a fair amount of frustration. He looked as if he were about to say something when he, and everyone else in the arena, noticed that the sky was darkening very rapidly. Within seconds, a stormcloud had accumulated directly above the arena. The wind began to pick up, and rain began to pour. Lightning began to crackle within the cloud.

People in the audience were beginning to panic. Most probably thought this was some kind of surprise attack by Kumogakure.  
Himawari raised her arm in front of her face, shielding a bewildered expression from the rain. This was incredibly strange, to say the least. It was July. Storms like this did not occur in July.  
"Enough with this showboating, Ryuji..." She heard her father grumble, who remained completely unfazed by the spectacle. Hanabi remained dead asleep, somehow.

Once again, Himawari activated her Byakugan. She observed that the cloud was rife with Ryuji's chakra.  
She smiled slightly, knowingly.  
He was creating one hell for a dramatic entrance for her son, and she knew from personal experience how effective psychological warfare was.  
As if to punctuate the entire show, a bolt of lightning struck the ground with an earsplitting crack, perhaps an inch from Shigeri's face. Once again, Himawari was thankful for her Byakugan, because it enabled her to see the expression of terror on Shigeri's face through the blinding light of the lightning strike, if only for a moment.  
When the light faded, Himawari saw Eiji standing right where the lighting had struck, and she also noticed that all of the prior markers of a storm had disappeared, save for the wetness, the scorch mark. And the damaged earth beneath Eiji's feet.

Eiji didn't look as different as she had expected His hair was longer, but it was pulled back behind his head in a ponytail that reached down past his waist, and he was standing up much straighter than normal. He looked more collected than when she had last seen him; more together. Whatever it was he and Ryuji had done had obviously helped with his confidence and social anxiety. He was wearing basic Hyuuga clan fatigues, much like her own, but his were colored black, and the sleeves extended down past his hands. Himawari thought the sleeves were a bit strange.  
Shigeri quickly recomposed his face and assumed a confident posture. "You put on that show to scare me?"  
Himawari refrained from loudly pointing out that it worked.  
Eiji was silent as the moderator began "going through the motions" and explaining the rules to both combatants. Himawari grinned. The battle had already begun, even if the moderator hadn't technically started it yet.

Shigeri did not appear fazed. He simply glared in response to Eiji's stare. Himawari was even having difficulty deciphering exactly what was going on behind Eiji's expression. It wasn't blank, exactly, but it didn't really betray anything either. "Focused" would probably be the best word for it, but there was something else there that she couldn't quite make out.  
The moderator officially began the match, and Himawari focused in on her son. "Come on, sweetie, you can do this." She whispered apprehensively, clenching her if Eiji had heard her (and he probably had, with ears that sharp), he found her in the crowd and waved sweetly to her. Himawari's heart, as usual, melted at the sight, and she waved back enthusiastically.  
"Kick his ass, sweetie! Turn that little shit inside-out!" She shouted.  
Eiji turned pink and gave her a thumbs-up, nodding.  
Himawari waved enthusiastically as she sat back down, ignoring her father's chastising her about behaving like a proper noblewoman. Those discussions never went anywhere anyways.  
"You done?" Shigeri prodded, clearly running out of turned back to Shigeri and nodded.  
Shigeri looked over at Himawari, then back at Eiji.  
"You ready?"  
Eiji nodded once more, and then he did something that elicited quite a bit of confusion from the audience.  
Eiji took his forehead protector, and tied it over his eyes.  
"What is he doing?"  
"Is he trying to lose?"  
"What the..."

Himawari knew her son. He was an incredibly sharp boy. He had to be up to something. She scanned him with his Byakugan and saw his chakra surge in his eyes. Looking through his headband, she saw that both of his eyes were pure white.  
He had learned how to activate the Byakugan in both of his eyes.  
Then, Eiji slid into a Gentle Fist stance, but there was something different about it. The posture was more confident, less uneasy. His chakra was flowing less erratically. His breathing was, somehow, a lot more calm. His curse mark was under much greater control than it had been when she had first seen it, though the seal encircling the mark had grown rather thin.  
She'd have to talk to him about that later.

Shigeri slid into a stance she'd seen from Rock ninja, which she found very strange. He removed two small steel bars from pouches on his chest, and aimed them at Eiji."Think fast." He deadpanned.  
Both bars shot straight forward, extending dozens of times their original lengths. Eiji merely sidestepped them as they shot into the arena wall behind him, piercing and cracking it.  
Shigeri frowned, pulling the metal back into place. "So you can still see me somehow. Huh. I wonder-"  
Eiji did not provide Shigeri the chance to continue. Chakra flared to life around his arms, and he flew at Shigeri, palming him in the face with incredible force, enhanced far beyond his normal limitations with chakra.  
*CRUNCH*  
Eiji cried out in pain, holding his hand and stumbling backwards as Shigeri laughed. His face had turned to steel.  
Eiji healed his wrist with surprising efficiency and began pummelling Shigeri everywhere, as fast as he could. As fast as Eiji was, it didn't really matter. Shigeri could turn parts of his body to steel faster than Eiji could attack. He was resistant to Eiji's gentle fist strikes as well, his still skin insulating him from such attacks.  
Without giving much of a warning, Eiji stopped his barrage attack and flipped backwards, high into the air, and whipped a kunai with an explosive tag at Shigeri. Shigeri quickly turned his entire body to steel and braced against the incoming explosion as Eiji landed gracefully about ten feet behind where he had been standing.  
The ensuing explosion only wound up damaging Shigeri's clothing, but when Himawari saw the expression on his face, she could tell Eiji was getting to him.  
Psychological warfare.  
Shigeri's upper lip twitched. "You're really starting to piss me off." He growled, patting out a small fire on his shoulder.  
Eiji did not respond.  
Shigeri placed the rods back in pouches on his vest. Eiji took advantage of this to zip up to Shigeri's face and raise his fist to punch Shigeri in the face again. Instinctively, Shigeri turned his face to steel. At the last possible moment, Eiji merely tapped Shigeri on the nose. Both boys stood there for a moment, Shigeri's expression conveying immense confusion. Then Eiji expelled a highly-concentrated blast of chakra from his fingertip, sending Shigeri to the ground, his metal head impacting the earth with a loud _thump_.  
Eiji stood there, dryly examining Shigeri as the latter quickly returned to his feet and rushed at Eiji with a furious roar, aiming a punch at Eiji. Eiji dodged to the left, kicking Shigeri's fist and setting him off balance. Before he hit the ground, he slapped an explosive tag to Shigeri's side. When he hit the ground, he immediately sprung back to his feet and blasted Shigeri away with another wave of chakra.  
Shigeri growled again, jamming the steel bars into the ground. Eiji turned his head downwards before just narrowly dodging a steel bar that had shot out of the ground. Then another one, this one much larger, shout out of the ground at an angle. Eiji ducked under it and grabbed onto it. Electrical chakra began to crackle around his hands, and it quickly travelled down the metal pole. Unfortunately, it stopped at the ground.  
"The ground will diffuse your electrical chakra, dumbass." Shigeri said snidely.  
Eiji grinned ever so slightly.  
Himawari knew that grin. That was the look she saw on Eiji's face whenever he was about to win.  
He grasped the pole with both hands and channeled an incredible amount of chakra into it. It flew through the pole and when it reached Shigeri's hand, the tenketsu in his fingertips were immediately disabled. In fact, they looked as if they could be permanently damaged from the sudden overload of energy.  
But he didn't stop there. Himawari's eyes told her that Eiji's chakra entered Shigeri's system, and he began to drain Shigeri's chakra. Shigeri crumpled to the ground, shivering and moaning quietly in pain.  
Part of Himawari was proud of her son's ingenuity, but another part of her was worried that her son had devised such a brutal technique. . She didn't even know how Eiji had managed to do it. Most Shinobi had to train for years to learn how to reverse chakra flow with enough suction to drain it from their opponents, to say nothing of draining it through an inorganic material like steel. It wasn't strenuous, given that it directly replenished one's energy, but it was very difficult. A single error could result in the destruction of one of the user's tenketsu.  
Perhaps it was the Seal? It had undoubtedly been filled more over the past month, meaning that Eiji could put more of his energy into attacks, and he could also store more.  
She wondered where Eiji was putting all this chakra he was draining from his opponent. Likely the Seal. His own reserves were already full.  
She dearly hoped he was not storing it in the Curse Mark.  
A brief examination confirmed her worries to be unfounded. She exhaled a sigh of relief.  
Then, he released the pole, and the chakra flow stopped. The pole promptly returned to its original size and fell into the hole in the ground it created. The other had fallen out of Shigeri's hand back when Eiji had started to drain his chakra.  
Eiji calmly approached Shigeri. "Forfeit. I don't want to kill you."  
Shigeri stared at the ground. He sat on his knees, arms hanging limply at his sides. "I'm not about to surrender to Leaf filth like you."  
Eiji said nothing.  
Shigeri spat at Eiji's feet. "Your village is scum. You hold all the power and do nothing with it. The weaker villages have to deal with bandits, thieves, and criminal organizations with more resources than our government. You have the means to help and you don't!"  
Eiji was silent; expression unreadable.

Shigeri was shouting now. "If I defeat you, if I win the tournament, Konohagakure will be forced to acknowledge Kusagakure as its equal!"  
That wasn't quite true, but Konoha would most certainly have to work more closely with Kusa in the future.

He stood up on his feet, shoved Eiji back, and popped what looked like a soldier pill in his mouth. Upon swallowing it, he shuddered for a moment, before he was surrounded by brilliant mauve chakra, which then solidified in jagged metal armor that vaguely resembled chitin. Even his head was covered by the chitinous steel, forming a jagged helmet with a horn in the center of the boy's forehead that looked very, very sharp.  
Shigeri stomped the ground and assumed a fighting stance, a different one than before. "Come on, Hyuuga! A fight to the death!"  
Himawari tensed up. She knew Eiji could do this, but her maternal instincts won out in the end.  
Himawari stood up out of her seat. "Eiji! Forfeit! Your life is more important than becoming a Chuunin!"  
Eiji turned his head in her direction. "Mom, when I win this, I'll be able to support our family with higher-paying missions. I'm not about to surrender. I won't lose, I promise."  
Himawari frowned. She was terrified for him, but she needed to let him grow. If Shigeri was about to kill him, she'd pull out all the stops to keep him alive. Otherwise, it was all him.  
Eiji turned back to Shigeri. "If you're smart enough to forfeit now, the village leaders will see an up-and-coming shinobi with enough foresight to put the future of the world above himself. Use your brain, you clearly have a good one if you understand international politics."

Shigeri looked conflicted, but in the end, anger appeared to win out over reason. "I'll shred you, runt."  
Eiji sighed in disappointment as he raised his hands and curled them into fists. "You're welcome to try."  
Shigeri roared and sprinted forward, crushing the ground under his feet with the immense weight of his steel armor. Eiji made to leap over him, but Shigeri was deceptively quick in that armor. He slashed up over his head and caught Eiji on the left arm, cutting down to the bone.  
The sound Eiji made brought tears to Himawari's eyes, but she kept quiet. The crowd, however, did not. Those from Konoha jeered, and a fair few from other villages cheered. Out of the corner of her eye, Himawari noticed a fight break out between a couple of Kusa Shinobi and some Konoha Shinobi. Tears welled up in the eyes of at least three different girls Himawari had seen Eiji with in the past. She'd have to keep tabs on them.  
Eiji tumbled to the ground, clutching his arm and hissing in pain. His right hand began to glow green with medical chakra, but Shigeri was already on him, screaming bloody murder and slashing away furiously at Eiji. Eiji dodged each attack to the best of his ability, but dodging Shigeri and also healing his arm would be impossible for someone without a Sharingan, and the rate at which he could heal himself was still drastically diminished. Eiji was maintaining both of his eyes, enhancing his speed with chakra, _and_ healing his arm. There's no way he could keep this up for long.

Himawari heard a familiar voice shout. "Come on, kid! Stop wussing out and take that dumbass down! His guard is completely open!"  
Anko was jumping up and down, waving her fists and drawing the attention of any men (and several women) within sight of her seat.

Anko wasn't wrong. Shigeri wasn't protecting himself at all, aside from the metallic shell. He was focused entirely on attacking, which was probably why he didn't notice Eiji move his wounded arm behind his back and grasp a kunai.

Anko kept shouting, but Himawari tuned her out and checked on her son's chakra flow again.

What she saw was both amazing and worrying.  
Eiji was channeling twice as much chakra into his arm now, using half of it to continue healing his arm and the other half to charge up the kunai. In-between the injury and his hand, he was transforming the chakra from that of the medical variety into tempestuous electrical chakra.

Then, Himawari noticed that Eiji was performing seals with his other hand. She must have noticed it near the end of the sequence, because soon after, he closed that hand into a fist, indicating the end of the sequence. What she caught of it made the jutsu, whatever it was, indicated that it was a summoning jutsu of some kind, but she had no idea what he could be summoning.  
Shigeri was roaring now, chopping away furiously at Eiji, who was gradually having to increase the amount of chakra he was using to enhance his speed in order to compensate for Shigeri's increasing speed. At this point, if Shigeri landed a single, well-placed strike, Eiji would be bisected. Himawari calculated the tip of Shigeri's armblade to be as small as three microns (the same size as many high-quality blades found in the Land of Iron), and at the speed he was moving, with the weight behind that speed, Shigeri could even cut through a Palm Rotation, a feat normally reserved for another Palm Rotation, or the _Rasengan_.  
With such incredible speed that Himawari almost missed it, Eiji tossed a kunai high into the sky, this one with a yellow paper tag attached to the end. On it was written "らいう." Thunderstorm.  
Himawari felt a tug on her sleeve. It was Hanabi. Himawari assumed their father had woken her up. "What did Eiji throw into the sky?" She asked her older sister.

"I'm not sure." Himawari answered hesitantly, absently noting that Hanabi must have been progressing quickly with her Byakugan if she had at least caught the movement of the kunai.  
Himawari heard a familiar voice behind her. "Ya want me to spoil it it for ya?"  
She didn't need to turn around to know it was Ryuji. "I'm tempted." She needed to know this wasn't another of her son's high-risk/high-reward tactics in battle.  
He chuckled knowingly. "It's a jutsu I came up with decades back to scare the piss out of enemy forces; give the Go-Ryuu an advantage. He'll be using it for something different, though."

Before Himawari could ask any more questions, she noticed more clouds accumulating in the sky. Only above the arena, but enough to block out the sun. These clouds, by contrast to the ones earlier, were held together primarily by Eiji's chakra. As such, they were slightly thinner.  
Hanabi began asking Ryuji questions about it (endlessly curious, she was) while Himawari returned her attention to her son. He was clearly starting to run out of energy, but the kunai he was holding was almost full to burst with chakra by now.  
Ryuji seemed to follow her gaze. "He still can't channel it directly, but he can charge objects with the stuff without harmin' himself. Something like the chidori'd be out of the question. He'd fry himself. An eletrified kunai, though? Easy."  
Himawari simply nodded, not wanting to think about all the electrical burns her son had likely suffered through up to this point.  
As if he could read her mind, Ryuji placed a hand on her shoulder from his seat behind her. "Don't worry, Lady Hyuuga. Your boy's a tough one. I won't go into details, but he takes pain better than a lot of grown men. He can be a bit too emotional at times, but that's an Uchiha thing, ain't it? Or is that just 'cause of growin' up with just you?"  
Himawari nodded curtly, turning back around. She said nothing.  
Ryuji could be a a bit too traditional for her taste. It wasn't truly his fault, it was how he was raised, but he could have made more of an effort to understand what Eiji was going through; growing up without a father figure. Sure, he had Ryuji, Hiruzen, the teachers in the academy, but having a father was something different. Eiji didn't have that. Himawari had done an admirable job of playing both nurturer and disciplinarian, but truth be told, he had never really needed to be disciplined.  
Ryuji coughed awkwardly as her removed his hand, presumably understanding that he had struck a nerve, and wisely decided to stop talking. Though Ryuji had known of Eiji's situation she would have to talk with Eiji about how much he disclosed to others the nature of their situation to those that didn't know.  
Himawari felt a few drops of water on her head and exposed skin, and looked up. The clouds had begun to produce rain. It wasn't all that heavy, but it was enough to darken the dirt floor of the arena, and after a minute or so, the dirt had become mud. While both combatants were slowing down, the mud was slowing Shigeri down to a much greater degree. Himawari could hear his roaring and yelling grow weaker, more strained. His lungs looked inflamed, too. Overworked. His armor's incredible weight was starting to drag him down into the mud as well, and Eiji was evading his attacks with greater ease every second.  
Shigeri was panting heavily. "Hold still, dammit!" He commanded in-between huffs.  
Much to everyone's surprise, he actually did stop moving. Shigeri, without thinking, fell for his trap and attacked at full force. Eiji dodged under the blade at the last moment, dropping a smoke bomb at Shigeri's feet while pulling a previously-concealed mask over his mouth. Shigeri was surrounded by incredibly thick smoke, the variety that only a Byakugan could see through. Shigeri hacked and wheezed, bending over and clutching his throat over his armor.  
It was then that Eiji took advantage of the opening and planted the lightning-charged kunai in Shigeri's shoulder. The blade sparked, but the chakra didn't disperse. Eiji then performed a series of hand seals, before reaching towards the sky and lower his finger down towards Shigeri.  
Eiji removed the mask and, for the first time in recent memory, voiced the name of a technique.

"Raijinn's Arbitration: Raijuu."

The clouds above crackled, and a lightning bolt came down from the sky, striking the kunai in Shigeri's shoulder. On top of the lightning strike, all of the electrical chakra in the blade was discharged into Shigeri's body. This was immediately followed by an explosion of chakra outwards, enough to disperse the smoke entirely and blow Himawari's hair back for a solid three seconds. The knife functioned as a lightning rod, and the lightning strike functioned as a catalyst for the technique. Eiji had set Shigeri up like one would delicately and carefully establish a house of cards, and had instigated him and toyed with him to the point where he dropped his combat awareness and sense of self-preservation completely. He had grown more and more reckless to the point where he didn't notice what would have otherwise been a blatantly obvious trap.  
True brilliance, although it could have been performed much more safely and efficiently.  
Shigeri didn't even have time to scream before he fell to the ground, convulsing pitifully in the mud as his metal armor receded into his skin. The clouds almost immediately cleared, and the entire stadium was dead silent as Shigeri's tremors eventually came to a halt. Eiji stood across from Shigeri, breathing heavily and gripping his previously injured arm. All of the damage had been healed, but that arm would likely be sore for at least a week, and Eiji would be put on bed rest for a month after this tournament, and she wouldn't be letting him leave the house for the first two weeks.  
The audience quickly erupted into applause, excluding many Kusa shinobi, who simply stood there dejectedly. They were clearly demoralized by their Genin's loss, but Himawari couldn't care less. She was too busy screaming for her son. Her son had won, and his performance, _within the first match,_ had displayed the ability and mindset of a Genin that was _very_ worthy of a promotion to Chuunin. All he would need to seal the deal now would be a better demonstration of a sense of efficiency.  
Eiji looked over at her, a tired smile on his face, and waved awkwardly with his good hand after placing the forehead protector in a pouch on his belt.  
She motioned excitedly for him to join her up in the audience. He nodded, making his way towards the steps, up the steps, down the walkway, and finally to his mother's side. As soon as he was within her reach, she grabbed his shoulders and pulled him inward, placing him in a position many men would sell their kidneys to be in.  
"Hey mom." He greeted warmly, his voice muffled by his mother's chest.  
She choked up, eyes tearing up. She drank in her son's face for the first time in far too long, looking deeply into his large, expressive, adorably mismatched eyes.

She squeezed him tightly. "I am so _proud_ of you."  
Her father tapped her on the shoulder. "Erhm, Himawari, dear, you're, um, smothering the poor boy."  
She immediately loosened up on her grip, and Eiji took a long, relieved breath.  
"Thanks." He coughed awkwardly.  
Ryuji ruffled Eiji's hair enthusiastically, laughing heartily. "You nailed it, kid. Just like we planned. Who's up next?"  
While Himawari understood that Eiji would not be fighting again for a while, her thoughts still turned first to his next opponent: the puppetmaster from the Hidden Sand. Kankuro.  
She looked over at him. He was sweating profusely and his hands were shaking. His sister look absolutely distraught, eyes darting between Kankuro, Eiji, and their younger brother, the psychopath, had no expression on his face. His eyes appeared to lack focus.  
Unable to process Gaara at the moment, she returned her thoughts to the present.  
"I think Sasuke's going to be fighting Mayumi." She thought aloud, absently registering Shigeri being carried away on a stretcher opposed to in a body bag.  
"Sasuke isn't here, though. I just looked around for his chakra signature. Couldn't find it."  
Himawari did a cursory scan of the stadium as well. Neither Kakashi nor Sasuke were anywhere nearby. Extending her range out several miles, far past what Eiji was capable of at the moment without focusing on a specific spot, she found them at the bookstore.  
For some unknowable reason, Kakashi decided that now was a good time to try to get Sasuke into Icha Icha. Sasuke didn't appear to be interested; nothing about the flow of his chakra indicated sexual arousal.  
Still, she'd have to have a talk with both of them later. She told Eiji that Sasuke was in the village, but otherwise kept focused on the events unfolding in front of her.  
The announcer then explained to the audience, as if on queue, that Sasuke's match with Mayumi would be postponed. Himawari easily picked out Mayumi's voice over all of the others, screeching all sorts of colorful obscenities.  
Ryuji stood up with a groan. "I'd better go calm her down. "  
He looked down at Eiji and Himawari. "You two should take some time to catch up."  
Eiji looked mildly disappointed that Ryuji was leaving, but his smile returned very quickly when Himawari planted a kiss on the top of his head. He was sweaty and wet from the rainfall, but she didn't mind. She'd dealt with worse when he was an infant.  
There would be an intermission of fifteen minutes (probably around thirteen by now) so the next combatants would be given time to prepare for their match. She decided to take full advantage of each and every one before Eiji had to go back down and fight. As an earth-natured chakra specialist worked on removing the moisture from the ground, she decided to open with something she knew he'd want to talk about. "So, do you have any interesting stories from your training? Any new jutsu? New skills?"

His face lit up. "Oh, tons of them. You saw a few already, like the lightning strike and my using both of my Byakugan, but-"  
Himawari tilted her head to the side. How had he noticed she was examining him with her Byakugan? "How did you know I was looking at you with my Byakugan?"

"I was watching you, too. I missed you."  
She squeezed him tightly. "Oh, baby, you shouldn't do that. You need to focus on your opponent, not me. We can spend some time together after this. Maybe go to the dango shop."

He smiled warmly. "If I win, do you think I'll be promoted?"  
She laughed, in spite of herself. "I think you'll be promoted just from your performance in that match alone. They might send you straight to Jounin if you pull off stunts like that in the rest of your matches."  
Eiji smiled widely, showing his teeth. His eyes widened in excitement. That was rare. "Really?"  
She laughed and shook her head. "No, it's not that often that something like that happens."  
Eiji's smile faded slightly.

"But Kakashi was promoted to Jounin at 12, so who knows? You might just beat him out on that one. The rules during the exams are pretty flexible." She replied quickly, attempting to remedy any accidental demoralization.  
Eiji sighed, shrugging. "I guess I'll just have to try my best."  
She squeezed him again. "There you go. That's the right attitude to take."  
His smile returned partially, but he pulled away from Himawari. He looked to their left, and once he saw Hinata, his eyes lit up. They quickly embraced each other, immediately sliding into the sibling dynamic they had that seemed to require no work to perpetuate. Himawari idly registered what they were talking about as she began reconnaissance on the exams officials, quickly determining that Kazuko and a girl from the Sand Village, Temari, were the next contestants by reading the cards in the announcer's front pocket. She frowned concernedly. From what she had heard, Temari had destroyed Tenten during the preliminaries, she couldn't imagine Kazuko having much of a chance.  
Himawari scanned the audience for Kazuko, eventually finding her sitting near her parents over on the other side of the arena. There was another person there, and his chakra signature was bizarrely familiar. It was a bright vermillion color, and the chakra was almost playful in how it danced around inside of him.  
He noticed her and waved at her with his free hand, with the other holding an expensive-looking gold and lacquered wood _kiseru_.  
She recognized him now. It had been a while, but she'd recognize that expression that lay somewhere between contented and confused, and the distinct features that held it, just about anywhere.  
She waved back at Shun Akiyama, now realizing where Kazuko had gone for that month she had been gone.  
Himawari turned back to Eiji and grasped his shoulder. "Sweetie, the next competitors will be Kazuko and Temari."  
"I know. I read the announcer's cards too. You think Kazuko will be okay?" He asked, looking for reassurance that his friend (and probable crush) would be okay.  
"She spent the past month with one of the best hand-to-hand combatants and wind style users that I've ever seen. I think she'll be okay, even if she doesn't win."  
Eiji didn't look entirely satisfied with that answer, but he shrugged again, seemingly accepting that this wasn't something he could control. That didn't stop him from tensing up when Kazuko's name was called, though. Himawari grasped her son's hand in her own, doing all she could to reassure him that she'd be okay.

It wasn't yet time for her to enter the arena, but that didn't top Eiji from almost immediately locating her in the crowd with his eyes. Himawari followed suit, quickly homing in on Kazuko's light and airy chakra signature. Kazuko wasn't wearing her typical medical kunoichi uniform. Now, she was wearing a graceful, if not particularly practical, grey kimono that was worn open, like a robe, over a white shirt. Simple black shorts covered up part of her thighs and bandages covered the rest. She didn't wear shoes, but she was outfitted with some metal shinguards, quite similar to the ones worn by the Mizukage. Her musculature appeared to be much more developed than when Himawari had last seen her, particularly in her legs, and judging by the pink in Eiji's cheeks, he had noticed as well.  
"We're going to have to have a talk about girls once this is all over."  
Eiji turned red, ignoring his mother not out of rude intentions but because of the myriad of lewd imagery undoubtedly flowing through his head.

Temari's name was called next. She stiffened up as she scanned her surroundings for Kazuko, but appeared to relax upon actually spying her in the audience.  
Himawari rubbed Eiji's shoulder gently to gain his attention before pointing subtly to Temari. "See that? She's already made a mistake. Where Kazuko sees Temari as a potentially dangerous opponent, Temari has already written Kazuko off as weak."  
Eiji nodded, listening intently to his mother as he carefully examined Temari with both of his eyes; probably scanning and examining her chakra and physical capabilities.  
"Her chakra is wind-natured, and the muscle in her arms is very well-developed; her hands too." Eiji observed, almost absently.  
"How can you tell her chakra is wind-natured?" Himawari quizzed him.  
"The way it flows through her chakra circulatory system. Faster than water and earth, more controlled than fire or electricity. Not highly-concentrated or distinctly powerful either. Kind of...thin."  
Himawari nodded, encouraging him to continue. "Right. What else? What do those two things mean in tandem?"  
"She's from Suna too, and I know they specialize in tessenjutsu, that probably means that big thing strapped to her back is one of those giant war fans-" he stopped mid-sentence to scan the object with his Byakugan, "...it is. The cloth is reinforced with earth chakra, too; must be difficult to break. Don't see any other tools on her but a few kunai, either."  
Eiji looked back at his mother. "So, my guess is that she attacks at range with wind jutsu the majority of the time, probably with the fan, and if her opponent gets in close, she'll fold up the fan and start swinging it around like a club; maybe use her kunai. All Kazuko needs to do to win is get the fan away from her."

Himawari nodded again. "Exactly. She's completely dependent on her weapon."  
Eiji raised his hands to form the Yamanaka clan's unique hand seal, focusing his chakra towards Kazuko.  
Himawari placed her hand on his, preventing the formation of a seal and halting the outward projection of chakra. "What are you doing?"  
Eiji leaned in towards his mother's ear. "I was going to tell Kazuko how to beat Temari." He whispered.

Himawari shook her head. "She needs to figure it out for herself. There are no teams right now, sweetie. Everyone fights alone."  
Eiji frowned at Himawari, brow furrowing he clearly disagreed with that, for one reason or another. "That doesn't explain why I can't help her."

"It being against the rules isn't enough?" She asked him pointedly, her tone becoming ever so slightly sharper.

Eiji half-growled and half-grumbled in frustration. Himawari noticed his curse mark flare up, resulting in a worryingly large amount of Orochimaru's toxic chakra entering her son's system. The mark began to spread up his neck and across his chest. Eiji's breathing hitched up and he gripped the edge of his seat with such tremendous force that the metal began to bend. Just before Himawari removed the chakra from him, Eiji began to breath at a steady rate, and the mark began to recede. The foreign chakra did as well, with Eiji's chakra forcing Orochimaru's back into the mark. Eiji loosened his grip on the seats and fell back into his mother's chest, breathing heavily.  
Himawari was about to ask him a dozen or so almost panicked questions before Eiji decided to explain.  
"I, uh, had a few violent outbursts because of the mark. The seal works, but not completely. Some still gets through. Took me some time, but I learned how to reverse my chakra flow and force his chakra back into the mark. Some of mine goes with it every time to seal the mark back up, but it's better than the alternative." He explained tiredly.  
Himawari simply asked the first thing to come to her mind. Reversing one's chakra flow could normally only be done after years of practice; otherwise, it would be incredibly exhausting for the person who tried it. "Do you need to rest for a bit?"  
Eiji's eyes fluttered. He was clearly struggling to keep them open. "What about Kazuko?" He mumbled.  
"She's a medical kunoichi. She'd want you sleeping."  
Eiji considered that statement for a moment before shrugging tiredly and closing his eyes, readjusting himself so that his head lay in his mother's lap. She rested her hand on his neck and gently placed two of her fingers under his chin, checking his heartbeat. Within three minutes, it had slowed down immensely, ranging between 35 and 45 beats per-minute. His chakra flow had slowed down too, as if she needed any more proof that he had fallen asleep.  
She pulled her hand away and noticed Gaara staring at Eiji, unblinking. Temari smirked in her direction. Kankuro chuckled. Himawari returned the glare, focusing as much murderous intent as she possibly could in their direction.  
Temari turned white and fell on her rear, a terrified expression on her face.  
Kankuro suddenly ran over to the nearest trash can and threw up.  
Gaara's eyebrow twitched, but otherwise didn't appear to react.  
She didn't let it show, but his lack of a reaction startled Himawari more than it should have. This lowly Genin, this _child_ , had shrugged off something that had sent grown men running for the hills.  
She looked away from the three of them, brushing some hair in front of her right eye so as to conceal the fact that she kept said eye activated. She rubbed Eiji's head as she kept watch on Gaara for the next few minutes. He only blinked once over the course of ten minutes, his eyes only returning to the arena when the next match was announced.  
"KAZUKO HOKI VERSUS TEMARI OF SUNAGAKURE!" The mediator shouted.  
More cheering. Less than last time, though, so Himawari made sure to make a some noise for Kazuko.  
Temari vaulted over the railing and landed in the arena, walking towards the center.  
Kazuko simply walked down the steps, expression neutral.  
Both met in the middle as the mediator explained the rules once more.  
Temari glared at Kazuko. The latter's neutral expression wavered, giving way, if only for a moment, to uncertainty and fear.  
Himawari held her fist to her mouth in concern. As with the last match, the battle had started long before the mediator had actually called the match. Temari was clearly skilled at intimidating her opponent, and if the little that Himawari knew of Kazuko was correct, then a meek girl like her would be highly susceptible to intimidation.  
The mediator quickly stopped talking after he realized no one was listening. He waved his hand to signal the beginning of the match and leapt from the arena, situating himself near the Hokage.  
A second passed.  
Then another.  
Kazuko blinked.  
Temari blinked.  
The arena was silent.  
Temari moved first, drawing her fan faster deceptively quickly. She slid it open one third of the way, exposing a single purple circle, and swung it with a roar, sending a blast of wind speeding at Kazuko. Kazuko dodged out of the way, sliding on an air current that kept her feet perhaps an inch off the ground, and she expended almost none of her chakra to do so.  
Himawari didn't know what to feel now. All she knew was that, by comparison to her own Chuunin Exams, this year's crop of finalists were really something special, and their matches would most certainly reflect that.  
Another moment passed before Temari and Kazuko charged at each other.


	24. Chapter 23: Sunaarashi, Part 1

**A/N:** So after college kicked my ass for nearly two years, I'm back. I've grown a lot, been in and out of a lot of relationships (in my sixth one now, to be exact), and I've been diagnosed with epilepsy and now suffer from chronic Grand Mal seizures that have this oh-so-convenient tendency to wipe my memory and leave me sore for days. This has made writing immensely difficult, so forgive me if I make some errors with the continuity.

Fortunately, all this "off time" has given me ample opportunity to plan how this story will play out through Shippuden and Boruto, and I'm really happy with the stuff the seizures haven't erased.  
Anyways, you probably don't care too much about that, so here's Chapter 23.  
Note: "Sunaarashi" translates to "sandstorm."

* * *

 **Chapter 23: Sunaarashi, Part 1**

Ryuji rubbed his forehead in exasperation as an unconscious Kazuko was carried away from the arena in a stretcher. Jeering could be heard from Konoha's section of the stands, which was drowned out by the cheering from Suna's section.  
 _  
All that taijutsu training doesn't mean zip if you get hit in the forehead that hard with a war fan without some kind of protection.  
_  
Ryuji looked over in Akiyama's direction with a disappointed expression, who just responded with a shrug. Akiyama was wearing more formal attire than he had been during Ryuji's meeting with him in Tanzaku Town: a kimono, hakama, sandals, the whole formal ensemble. It retained the same color scheme as his "business casual" attire. He still wore the one-ryo coin around his neck, though.

Ryuji would have to lecture him about that, or just train Kazuko himself when he wasn't with Eiji or Mayumi. He'd figured Akiyama would be able to do a better job, given his fire and wind-natured chakra lining up perfectly with her wind-natured chakra opposed to Ryuji's lightning, earth, and water-natured chakra, but oh well. Probably shouldn't have expected better from someone who had his secretary do most of his work for him, even though he paid her an enormous salary.

Lessons learned for the Winter Exams.

Ryuji leaned over to talk to Himawari. "Yer Byakugan tell you anything? Is her skull fractured?"

Himawari turned back to him and shook her head. "Not from what I could tell; just looked like a concussion to me. Her mother should be able to fix her up pretty quickly, but she'll be out of commission for at least a few days."

Ryuji felt relieved. "Good. Shame that she lost, but medical ninja don't need to be anything more'n Genin. I mean, if she wants to practice as a doctor, then yeah, she's gotta get to at least Chuunin. Fer now, she's fine as a Genin."

Himawari didn't look entirely satisfied with that, but she just shrugged and returned her gaze to the arena, just in time for the proctor to announce the next match. "SASUKE UCHIHA OF KONOHAGAKURE VERSUS MAYUMI OF KONOHAGAKURE!"

Lots of cheering from residents of Konohagakure (most of the audience), and mostly apathy from the rest.

Mayumi leapt down into the arena from a few rows to Ryuji's right, impacting the ground with enough force to create a small crater at the point of impact.

Ryuji grinned. She'd always been a show-off. Ryuji also spotted Jiraiya standing up and shouting for her several rows to his left. At least he was supporting his daughter, albeit indirectly.

A minute or so passed as Mayumi waited around, tapping her foot with her hands on her narrow hips. Eventually, she glared at the proctor, motioning vaguely at Konoha's section of the stands. "When the fuck is Sasuke gonna show up, huh?"

The proctor shrugged, and Mayumi groaned in exasperation. Mayumi was an impatient girl, but this was definitely taking a while. Her frustration was justified. Another two minutes and a significant amount of shouting from the crowd later (that had rapidly changed from excited to frustrated), Mayumi was tapping her foot faster, resulting in even more cracks in the ground.

Ryuji's trained ears picked up what she grumbled to herself. "Where is that emo prick?"

Ryuji had to admit, she asked a good question. Kakashi may have been chronically late, but from what he knew of Sasuke, he was a very punctual boy. Rarely late, never tardy. He'd heard some rumor going around about Sasuke getting injured during his training with Kakashi, but while Kakashi was primarily focused on offensive ninjutsu, he'd copied numerous medical ninjutsu from his old teammate Rin.

Ryuji spotted one of the Hokage's aides whispering something in his ear, and refocused his attention on that. Shortly after, he noticed the Hokage and his aide look over at the Kazekage, who whispered something from behind the piece of cloth covering his mouth. He couldn't hear what the discussion was about, but after a brief discussion with the Hokage's aides, he announced that a ten-minute reprieve would be taking place. This resulted in more jeering from the crowd, namely Naruto and Mayumi. They were arguing over who would get to kill him if he never showed.

If this was some attempt at psychological warfare, it wasn't working particularly well. Mayumi fought much more effectively when she was mad; anger enabled her to focus when nothing else did.

Ryuji tapped Himawari on the shoulder again. "Hey, Hima?"

Himawari paused stroking her son's hair and looked behind her at Ryuji. "Hmm?"

"Did Kakashi tell you anything about Sasuke being injured during their training? I'm hearing that some kinda rumor's goin' around that he got hurt."

She shook her head again, but she didn't look particularly concerned. "I haven't received a single communication from Kakashi or Sasuke since they left Konoha, but I spotted them with my Byakugan a few miles away at the bookstore. Kakashi is holding Sasuke up and trying to get him into _Icha Icha_."

Ryuji exhaled loudly, rubbing his forehead again. "The kid's what, twelve? Why's he doin' that?"

Himawari shrugged. "It's Kakashi. I'd be worried if the kids hadn't had a sex-ed class during their last year at the academy, but they already know about all that stuff. Naruto even developed a jutsu with that knowledge."

Ryuji grinned again. "Yeah, that harem jutsu's somethin' else."

The conversation tapering off, Ryuji's gaze wandered back to the Kazekage. There was something off about him, but he couldn't quite tell what. Didn't quite look like the Rasa he'd fought against years back.

Before he could think about it much further, however, Kakashi and Sasuke appeared back-to-back about fifteen feet from Mayumi, Naruto, and the proctor in a flash of lightning.

Sasuke was wearing a black jumpsuit with short sleeves and pant legs, and his left arm was wrapped in bandages, the kind Eiji'd had for a little while following his attempt at coating his arm in electrical chakra. His hair had grown longer too. Ryuji thought that was impractical; looked like it would do nothing but flop in front of his eyes.

Kakashi, to the surprise of anyone who knew the man more than not at all, was reading the latest installment of the _Icha Icha_ series, which had been released two weeks ago.

Many people looked stunned for a moment before most of the stadium erupted in applause and cheering, Himawari being one of the loudest. In spite of all the noise, Eiji did not wake up, and _because_ of all the noise, Ryuji couldn't hear what Naruto, Mayumi, Sasuke, Kakashi, and the proctor were discussing. It only now occurred to Ryuji that the hair on the back of Sasuke's head resembled a duck's ass. Why did he style his hair like that?

On the opposite edge of his periphery, Ryuji noticed Kakashi motion for Ryuji to follow him back into the hallways behind the stands. Ryuji obliged.  
Once they were out of earshot of everyone in the stadium, Kakashi spoke. "I count eight members of the ANBU Black Ops in our section of the arena. That's not even close to enough. What is Lord Hokage thinking?"

Ryuji thought before speaking. "Hiruzen may be old, but he's not senile. I suspect he's stationed them and the KMPF around the more vulnerable and important points of the village."

Both men heard the cheering intensify, particularly from Konoha's section.

"The match is starting." Ryuji observed.

Kakashi nodded. "Clearly. We can't afford to let our guard down, especially now."

"Agreed." Ryuji said, nodding as he stuck out his hand. "May the superior student win. I didn't train Mayumi for the finals but I'm pretty sure she'll do alright."

"Maybe. I'm not so sure. Sasuke picked up the chidori. That's difficult to pull off." Kakashi deadpanned, shaking Ryuji's hand.

Ryuji motioned for Kakashi to follow him. When they returned to the arena, Ryuji relocated himself to go sit with the other Jounin-Teachers. By the time he sat down and refocused his attention on the arena, Sasuke and Mayumi had already begun the fight. Sasuke appeared to recognize Mayumi's incredible strength, and as such, he was attacking at a distance with shuriken, smoke bombs explosive tags, pretty much every kind of range tool that the rules permitted.

Which was, to say, all of them.

Mayumi, however, wasn't having much of a difficult time defending against those attacks. She was using a shield made of rock that every kunai and shuriken Sasuke threw at her embedded itself in with a dull _thunk_.

It didn't take Sasuke very long to notice that this wasn't going anywhere, so after the next few volleys of projectiles, he tossed a smoke bomb at Mayumi. It detonated, and once the smoke cleared, he'd disappeared.

Ryuji stroked his stubble. "What's this kid up to?" He mumbled to himself.

Kakashi lightly elbowed Ryuji in the side to get his attention. "Those bandages serve two purposes: to cover up electrical burns and to conceal a bunch of storage seals."

Ryuji nodded. "Figured as much. Smart of you, Hatake."

"Sasuke came up with the idea. Said he saw Himawari do it a few times before heading out on missions." Kakashi explained.

Ryuji raised an eyebrow. "Huh. Minato taught her to do that, I think."

Kakashi just sighed. Ryuji probably should have given that comment more thought. Kakashi didn't like that Minato's favorite student was one that hadn't even been assigned to him.

Mayumi looked around, quickly spotting Sasuke standing on the arena wall behind her. The two glared at each other for a moment before Mayumi changed her shield's shape into that of a fuma shuriken and whipped it at Sasuke with a yell. Sasuke dodged out of the way and created three shadow clones that began running in circles on the wall around Mayumi. She glanced around frantically, baring her teeth and growling animalistically.  
Sasuke and the clones began to run faster and faster, eventually becoming a black, circular blur that would occasionally toss shuriken at Mayumi. The latter deflected everything thrown at her, but she clearly wasn't going to be able to keep this up for very long. Mayumi was not a fast girl.

Ryuji knew what Sasuke was doing; what he'd been doing since before the match had even started.

Mayumi may have fought better when she was angry, but not when she was angry and being deliberately distracted like this.

Ryuji looked over at Jiraiya, perched atop the stadium's shade. He was focused intently on Mayumi's match, muttering something to himself. No surprise there, his daughter's life could be at stake here.

Fortunately, Mayumi seemed to figure out what Sasuke was doing, and enclosed herself in a small box made of rock. All shuriken flying at her either disappeared in small bursts of smoke or clanked uselessly against her rock box.

Sasuke stopped running, dispersed his clones, and blinked dumbly at the box before a sinister grin appeared on his face. He flipped back as far away as he possibly could from Mayumi's box armor, wove a short series of hand seals, and assumed a position that Ryuji was very familiar with.

Ryuji glanced sideways at Kakashi, interrupting the discussion he was having with his students and a few other Genin. "Hey, Hatake, is that..."

The explosion of electrical chakra that flared to life around Sasuke's left, bandaged arm was Ryuji's answer.

Kakashi just nodded as Sasuke sprinted down the wall at incredible speeds, up to Mayumi's rock box, and drove the Chidori through it with enough force to detonate it.

Ryuji was incredibly worried for Mayumi's safety until he noticed something.

Mayumi was not in the box.

While Sasuke stood there, panting with a confused and exhausted expression on his normally smug face, Mayumi popped up out of the ground behind him.

"Surprise." She taunted, aiming a punch at Sasuke's face.

Unfortunately for Mayumi, Sasuke heard her, and responded just quickly enough to turn around and aim a punch at her face, weaving through her admittedly formless punch.

Unfortunately for Mayumi, thanks to Sasuke's newfound enormous speed, his fist impacted her jaw with enough force to send her flying away. Her head slammed into the wall and she fell limply to the ground.

The exam proctor walked leisurely over to her and checked her pulse.

The proctor raised his right index and middle fingers up to the approximate location of his vocal chords as he turned to the two Kage. "WITH MAYUMI OF KONOHAGAKURA UNABLE TO CONTINUE FIGHTING, THE MATCH GOES TO SASUKE UCHIHA!"

Ryuji grimaced as the entirety of the civilian crowd erupted in applause. Sasuke didn't appear to think much of it, instead deciding to leap up to Himawari's spot in the stands and sit down next to her. She grinned widely and ruffled his hair proudly. She said something to him that Ryuji couldn't make out over the raucous cheering before she kissed him on the top of the head. That elicited a rare kind of smile from the boy. Not the kind of angry, snide smile that Ryuji normally saw from Sasuke, but an expression that conveyed genuine affection and warmth. Eiji, who'd apparently woken up since Sasuke's match had started. The two boys bumped fists enthusiastically before Naruto jumped at the two of them from behind, wrapping his arms around their necks and making a series of expressions that resembled laughter.  
Ryuji smiled. Those three were brothers in all but blood.

Admittedly, he envied the fraternal relationship Eiji had with Sasuke and Naruto, wishing he could have the same thing with Yuudai.

Ryuji checked back into reality just in time to hear the proctor announce the match he'd been most concerned about. "EIJI HYUUGA VERSUS GAARA OF THE DESERT!"  
Most of the crowd from Sunagakure cheered uproariously, as did Konoha's citizens. The Hyuuga, who'd been near silent up until this point (excluding Himawari), all let loose now. Eiji appeared to take that as his queue to slide down the arena wall and walk over to the proctor.

Gaara slid down the side of the arena wall on a small gathering of sand, hit the ground, and slowly shuffled over to meet Eiji in the center of the arena, with the proctor.

As the proctor lectured them about the rules, Eiji removed his forehead protector from a pouch on his thigh and tied it over his face. Gaara seemed intently focused on Eiji, eyes unblinking. Given what Eiji had been fighting every day for the past month, Ryuji figured Eiji would be more than prepared for this fight, but-

"Begin!" The proctor shouted before leaping back to the Hokage's side.

Gaara glared in a disturbed manner at Eiji before the latter turned into a blur, mimicking Sasuke's movements from much earlier.

"Looks to be about as fast as Lee and Sasuke now." Kakashi mumbled to himself.

Kurenai Yuuhi, who was positioned with Asuma Sarutobi a row behind Ryuji, crossed her arms, brushing some hair from her face. "Pretty clear who your team's 'number one' is gonna be, huh, Ryuji?"

Ryuji said nothing. He was trying to break down what his student's strategy was going to be.

Taijutsu certainly wasn't going to work. It had already failed once. Unless Eiji figured out some kind of creative use of the Gentle Fist to suck the chakra out of that sand, he'd have to switch to some kind of Ninjutsu that would be able to break through Gaara's guard or use a Genjutsu of some sort to create an opening.

Eiji broke from his circular pattern and zoomed in to attack faster than Gaara could react, but too slowly to get past Gaara's autonomous sand barrier. After a few more attempts, Eiji flipped over to position himself directly above Gaara, blasting him with a Vacuum Palm from directly above. Propelling himself downward with a blast of chakra from his back while Gaara was still reeling from the Vacuum Palm, Eiji dropped his heel down on Gaara's head with enough force to send Gaara's face flying into the ground and create an explosion of dust. When it cleared enough for Ryuji to see what was happening, Eiji was already on Gaara. The boy from Suna was doing his utmost to defend against Eiji's relentless assault, but he was struggling. Eiji was landing attack after attack on Gaara's shell of sand, and the small explosions of chakra he was releasing into said shell with each strike was creating and worsening cracks all over Gaara's body.

Gaara looked more like he was being jerked around than anything else, not like he was in any actual pain. Ryuji voiced as much to Kakashi.

Guy was the one to answer him. "Ryuji, when Lee fought Gaara, Taijutsu didn't work. Lee was hitting Gaara so hard he broke his own bones and it still wasn't enough. Your pupil may have the Gentle Fist and the Sharingan, but he'll need more than that to defeat Gaara. Right now he's just exhausting himself."

Guy was right. Eiji's attacks weren't slowing down, but he was getting visibly angrier, while Gaara was just looking more and more entertained.  
Ryuji decided to check with Himawari to see if she could update him on what was going on with Eiji's chakra.

He desperately hoped Orochimaru's mark wasn't hindering his ability to fight rationally.

* * *

Himawari bit her lip anxiously. Her son would be tearing any other Genin to shreds, to _giblets_ , right now, and it's not like sand armor would shield a person's chakra points, so why wasn't this working?

Sasuke sat behind her, having moved to that position after Naruto had shoved him out of his prior position at Himawari's side. He leaned forward and motioned in Eiji's direction. "Eiji'll be fine. My Sharingan's not picking up any problems."

Ryuji approached the three of them and sat down next to Sasuke. "What about yer Byakugan, Himawari?"

She activated her eyes and examined the fight. Eiji would be fine. The seal on his forehead could probably keep him fighting for weeks. Her attention was instead drawn to Gaara, and her blood ran cold.  
She was silent for a little more than a minute before Ryuji tapped her shoulder. "You still there, Hima?"  
"The boy from Sunagakure, Gaara, he's a Jinchuuriki. That's why Eiji's strikes aren't disabling his chakra points. It's not the sand shell at all. Shukaku just keeps opening them back up."  
"How d'ya know?" Ryuji asked from behind her.

In response, she pointed to Naruto. "Naruto, You know how you've got the Nine-Tailed Fox sealed inside you?"

Naruto nodded with a certain amount of uncharacteristic anxiety. "Uh, yeah. Got bullied a lot for it before you adopted me."

Himawari squeezed him affectionately. "Well, you're out of that period in your life now, but Gaara's got something similar going on."

One arm still around Naruto, she pointed at Gaara, who was still getting smacked around by Eiji at speeds faster than most human eyes could process, Gaara himself more than likely included. "He's got Shukaku, the One-Tailed Tanuki, sealed in his chakra center."

Himawari saw Ryuji lean back with her Byakugan. "Explains the sand manipulation. Think Eiji's got a chance? I never got to watch him train."

"His natural reserves are extremely high, but-"

As if on queue, Gaara blasted Eiji back with a wave of sand and began to surround Eiji with it. Eiji countered with a Palm Rotation, sending sand flying into the stands. Gaara seemed to know that Eiji would do something like that, somehow, and quickly formed a thick ball of sand around himself. Himawari could see through it and what Gaara was doing, and saw that he was weaving a long series of hand seals.

Eiji could most likely tell he was doing this as well. Himawari watched her son stand there, panting heavily as he examined the Gaara-sized ball of sand from a distance. He removed his forehead protector and Himawari saw that not only was his Byakugan active in both eyes, his Sharingan was as well, and there were three tomoe in one of them.

That was significant progress.

Then, her son's face lit up.

Himawari recognized that expression.

Eiji had just had an idea.

Eiji slowly approached Gaara's shell of sand as he began to gather chakra in his lungs. He stopped about ten feet away from Gaara and wove a few hand seals before inhaling deeply and exhaling a massive wall of fire, encompassing Gaara's sand completely.

"Holy shit..." Naruto exhaled, blinking slowly.

"I've only seen Itachi pull off stuff like that before..." Sasuke mumbled.

Sasuke was right. The size and intensity of that fire reminded Himawari an almost disturbing amount of Eiji's father. How had a Genin increased his power that quickly?

Her Byakugan gave her the answer.

It was the Cursed Seal on his manubrium.

She'd have to begin reading through Minato's notes on fuinjutsu after the finals were over.

Eiji let the fire subside, and Gaara was left trapped in a molten glass ball. Eiji looked worryingly satisfied with what he'd pulled off, but it was very difficult to tell exactly what Gaara was feeling. Based on the rapid beating of his heart, Himawari would describe it as sheer terror, but his chakra was another story.

Gaara's chakra was a deep, blood red, much like Tailed Beast chakra, but Himawari had dealt with enough Jinchuuriki to know the difference between a human's chakra and a Tailed Beast's. Right now, the kind of chakra running through Gaara's system wasn't human.

It was Shukaku's.

Eiji charged forward, channeling more power from his Cursed Seal into a scroll he removed from a pouch on his leg. Leaping into the air as he rubbed a bloodied hand across the scroll and tossed it into the air, he landed about twenty feet from Gaara as a torrent of water came crashing down on the molten glass ball. Most of the water turned to mist on contact with the glass and the rest soaked into the ground, but that was largely irrelevant to Himawari, who used her eyes to spot her son through the thick mist where very little of the audience could.

She spotted Eiji sprinting towards Gaara, concentrating immense amounts of both his and Orochimaru's chakra in his right arm, which was holding a kunai.

Seconds later, said arm made contact with the glass ball and shattered it into probably millions of pieces. Eiji stabbed Gaara in the shoulder with the kunai.

A second passed.

Then another.

"AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH! BLOOD! IT'S MY BLOOD!" Gaara screamed, shaking Eiji off him and sending him flying back forty feet with the enhanced strength common to Jinchuuriki. Eiji looked more confused than anything else.

Every proper shinobi had been stabbed by kunai before, so why was Gaara reacting this way?

Gaara formed another sand shell. Himawari's eyes told her that this one consisted of three layers, so unless Eiji continuously blasted him with incredibly hot flames for probably ten minutes or more, his previous strategy wasn't going to work.

Eiji took a moment to center himself and gather his chakra, deactivating all but the Byakugan in one of his eyes and closing his completely deactivated eye.

His expression contorted into one of confusion and disgust as he focused on whatever Gaara was doing inside of his shell.

Naruto stretched up to Himawari's ear and pointed at Gaara's shell. "What's going on in there?"

Himawari's grimace deepened. "I think Shukaku is trying to take over. Your seal is extremely durable and well-constructed. His must not be."

Then, before Naruto could respond, Gaara's shell broken and the entire stadium focused their attention on Gaara. He was panting heavily and clutching his shoulder, which wasn't bleeding very heavily, but it was still bleeding.

Eiji immediately reactivated his eyes and readied himself for combat, but Gaara just stood there. The latter's eyes looked like they were about to bulge out of their sockets as he bared his teeth, barely managing to conceal whatever madness Shukaku had inflicted upon him.

Then, Himawari began to notice a significant amount of the audience falling asleep sitting up, Naruto included. Looking around her with her Byakugan, she noticed that only people with unique eyes, incredible chakra control, and Kurenai Yuuhi were completely unaffected.

That could only mean one thing.

"GENJUTSU!" She shouted, dispersing it from every shinobi and kunoichi nearby. Numerous other Jounin did the same throughout the stands. Immediately afterwards, Himawari spotted a smoke bomb detonate where the two Kage were seated.

Himawari immediately extended her Byakugan's field of vision as far out as she could push it, immediately spotting a small army of armed men charging through the gates, led by what appeared to be two reanimated men, with one in the back of the crowd.

Behind them by a mile or so was a gigantic, multi-headed snake, likely one of Manda's spawn or Orochimaru's creations.

She knew there was a reason the Kazekage's chakra hadn't felt right.

It wasn't the Kazekage, it was the man, no, _thing_ that had attacked her son during the second phase of the exams.

Himawari leaned forward to talk to her father, Hiashi. "Dad, get Hinata to safety."

Hiashi nodded in response as most of the Hyuuga, excluding the active-duty Jounin, disappeared in flashes.

Himawari stood up and spun around, locking eyes with Ryuji. "Ryuji, take who you need to take and get rid of the giant snake at the breach in the wall and all those men at the gate."

"Understood. What about-"

Before Ryuji finished his sentence, Himawari had already connected her foot with the apparent "sensei" of Gaara and his siblings, although the latter three had already left. The Sand Siblings' sensei was sent flying into the arena wall, spine snapping in two and killing him instantly.

After Himawari landed, she turned to her son, who was still standing there in shock. He said nothing. Sasuke, who had followed her down into the arena, was also standing there in a stunned silence. The exam proctor said nothing. Himawari outranked him in every conceivable way.

Himawari approached him and grabbed her son's shoulders, looking deep into his mismatched eyes. "Eiji, if this is an invasion of Konoha, then Gaara, as a Jinchuuriki, is their secret weapon."

Byakugan still activated, she refocused on Sasuke. "Sasuke, you pay attention too. I want you both to go track down Gaara and his siblings and capture them, but do not hesitate to kill them if necessary. All of them, along with any Suna ninja you encounter, must be defeated to some capacity."

Eiji appeared as if he was about to protest those instructions. He probably didn't mind fighting Suna ninja, but killing them was another story. Himawari looked at him more sternly. "Eiji, how would you react if Gaara and his siblings had just killed me. Would you be hesitating?"

Eiji's eyes reignited with conviction. "No, I'd actively be seeking them out. They'd all be dead by the end of the day."

That was more bloodthirsty than she'd ever expected from her son, but there was no time to think about or protest that mindset right now. There was a siege to be fought. "Right, so treat them as if they'd just committed a crime of similar magnitude."

Himawari whipped her head in Akiyama's direction. "Akiyama! You hold the southern gate!"

"On it!" He shouted, nodding before heading south.

"What will you be doing?" Sasuke asked her, sounding genuinely curious.

"Helping Ryuji deal with the invading force, then I'll come back to the village and clean the streets up with the other Jounin. Good luck, boys. I love you both. Keep Naruto safe." She answered simply, leaping out of the arena and towards Ryuji's chakra signature.

* * *

Ryuji landed in front of the crowd of men and, creating a crater in the ground at the point of impact. Ryuji looked up and met the gaze of three reanimated individuals he once knew. All three stood shoulder to shoulder.

To Ryuji's left was a tall, muscular man with slicked-back straight black hair, clothed in black hakama and no top. His irises were gold, as they were in life, and his sclerae were black, indicating that he was the subject of a reanimation jutsu, just like the two other men in front of Ryuji. Ryuji couldn't see the man's back from his current position, but he knew the man well enough to know that there was a full-back irezumi tattoo of a Kirin there. In life, he had been the chairman of the Tojo Clan. He was one of those higher-ups in the Tojo Crime Syndicate that was frighteningly adept at making money. Slavery, genocide, arms dealing, assassination, nothing was off the table for this man, and he was good at all of it. This man's name was Yoshitaka Mine, and he was armed with a katana sheathed in what was likely some sort of gold alloy, with the grip and hilt resembling a vajra.

To Ryuji's right was a brown-haired man in a red suit. Ryuji gauged him to be somewhere in his early fifties. Ryuji had heard of this man through his connections in the business. His name was Tetsuo Tamashiro, and he was armed with tekko, or in layman's terms, brass knuckles. Asuma Sarutobi used the bladed variant.

Directly in front of Ryuji was a man he knew unfortunately well. He'd even seen the man as recently as a month ago in Tanzaku Town.  
Ryuji locked eyes with him. "Nikaido. Care to explain why yer leadin' these buncha chumps and coupla dead guys into a village under my protection? That's hazardous to yer health."

Tetsuo Nikaido looked like he was about to explode. "Are you fucking kidding me?! You left all of us! You-"

Ryuji cut him off, shrugging as he looked over at Mine. "How goes it, Mine? Still violating human rights and breaking every conceivable law?"

Mine's face remained flat as he spoke in a dull monotone. "Money solves every problem. Throw enough of it at the nearest figures of authority and they'll ignore just about anything."

Ryuji was about to address Tetsuo Tamashiro when Ryuji's sister Kaoru Sayama of the KMPF landed at his right side, covered in blood splatters. Intuition told him that none of the blood she was covered in was hers. Given the KMPF's headquarters was located near the Northern gate, Ryuji suspected she and her soldiers had just wiped out whatever offensive had been coming from that direction.

Kaoru kept her eyes trained on the three men leading the "small" army. "Did I miss anything important?"

Ryuji shook his head. "Not really. About to call in an assist, though."

As if on queue, Himawari Hyuuga landed at Ryuji's left. "Someone call me?"

Ryuji shook his head again. "Nah, but you being here'll make handling this scum a lot easier."

Himawari motioned towards the back of the massive crowd. "There's a guy in the back, too. Another zombie. His name's Futoshi Shimano."

Oh, that was bad. Shimano was arguably worse than Mine in a lot of ways. Mine always had a _reason_ for what he did, some kind of goal in mind. Shimano just used to spill blood for fun. Ryuji couldn't let him get anywhere near the village.

Ryuji nodded. "Gotcha. I'll go for him while Tatsuane's goin' to town on the three-headed snake."

Himawari cocked her head to the side. "Tatsuane?"

Ryuji did not verbally respond to her. Instead, he removed his haori and kimono, rendering himself topless and exposing his massive golden dragon tattoo. Ryuji removed a small, ornamental blade from his pocket and drew it quickly across his trapezius and the back of his neck, coating his back tattoo in his own blood. He then flew through a series of hand seals before dropping to a knee and placing both his hands on the ground.

"SUMMONING JUTSU!" He roared, feeling a significant amount of his chakra drain from the effort of summoning a creature this large. A bolt of lightning struck the space directly behind Ryuji, Kaoru, and Himawari, and was immediately replaced by a dragon more than twice the size of the three-headed snake off near another breach in Konoha's walls. Just summoning the creature filled up most of the street behind the three, crushing at least four Suna shinobi. Its scales were a metallic, glimmering gold color. Like most dragons, its horns and claws were the same color as its scales. Its eyes were a deep, intimidating blood red.

The massive creature looked down at the scene with an expression vaguely resembling curiosity. "What is this, Ryuji? The last time you summoned me was to fight the Eight-Tails, and that was ages ago in human terms. I'm disappointed in you."

Her voice was like thunder. A casual observer probably couldn't tell that the dragon was female, but Ryuji had known her for, what, something like two decades now? A long time for Ryuji, but for Tatsuane, it probably only felt like a few weeks.

Ryuji looked up at the dragon he'd made a summoning contract with. "I know, Tatsu, I promise we'll do something fun after we've sorted out this siege. I'll even introduce you to my students."

Himawari looked up at the titanic creature. "Oh. That's Tatsuane." She said in a small voice.

Ryuji grinned in anticipation of the coming violence. It had been far too long since he'd had the opportunity to properly cut loose and use lethal force. As much as he loved teaching his pupils, Ryuji had spent much more of his life spilling blood. As good of a teacher as he was, Ryuji was one of the greatest warriors the world had ever seen. "Yep. Now let's get to work."

Tatsuane took advantage of their opponent's stunned silence, inhaled deeply, and exhaled a massive wave of blue flames. Mine and Tamashiro leapt out of the way, but Nikaido was not so lucky. He was close enough to Tatsuane that he was vaporized by the heat of the flames, while much of the army behind where he once stood was burnt to a crisp.

"I'll leave the rest to you three." She rumbled, flying off to go deal with the three-headed snake Orochimaru had summoned and a few legions of Suna shinobi over at the eastern gate.

Kaoru immediately engaged Tamashiro, zipping up to him in an instant and sending him flying off back into the forest with a concussive blast of water and following him as he flew through several trees.

Himawari engaged Mine by performing a Palm Rotation: Rasengan and sending Mine flying back into a different part of the forest. Ryuji was legitimately surprised he wasn't disintegrated by such a technique, but then again, her opponent was a reanimated Yoshitaka Mine. He would be incredibly difficult to disable.

Ryuji coated himself in a cloak of electrical chakra, and everything else seemed to slow down. His grin widened as he slowly unsheathed his sword for the first time in years.

The Terror of the Land of Lightning had returned.

Ryuji roared as he charged into small army of shinobi that remained, which he gauged to be sized at around maybe one-thousand men. He vaguely recognized some of them as former Go-Ryu foot soldiers, unfortunately, but that mattered very little to Ryuji. These men had chosen to attack his home and work for a man that arguably couldn't even be called human anymore. They had chosen their fates.  
Ryuji swung his blade at the first soldier he encountered and cut clean through him, quickly moving straight to the next one and punching him with enough force to detonate his torso. Ryuji would have been showered with blood and gore if his chakra cloak hadn't vaporized everything flying in his direction. Ryuji was moving with such incredible speed that everyone else appeared to be moving in slow-motion. His body count quickly became three, and then six, and then twelve, and it only increased exponentially from there.  
A few minutes and a few-hundred soldiers later, Ryuji wondered how his sister and Himawari were faring against their respective opponents as he slaughtered an entire army, gradually making his way to the reanimated man in the back of the rapidly-dwindling crowd: Futoshi Shimano.

* * *

Himawari deflected a series of hooks from Mine before kicking him in the stomach and axe-kicking his face into the ground. She grabbed him by the head and spun him around a few times before whipping him into a nearby tree with chakra-enhanced strength. He flew through three more before colliding with the fourth and falling to the ground.

Much to Himawari's consternation, he appeared almost entirely unharmed. He stood up, boredly brushed himself off, and was immediately on her again, throwing fire-infused punches and kicks that only a Byakugan or Sharingan could keep up with. As quick as Himawari was, and as a taijutsu specialist, she was _quick_ , Mine was just as fast. Even blows she did land healed extremely quickly, damned reanimation jutsu. Minato had taught her how to effectively counter it, but she needed to incapacitate her target first. It had been a long time since she'd fought an opponent of this caliber, especially one that seemed to be largely resistant to the Gentle Fist, so incapacitation would take a lot of work. Yoshitaka Mine was no joke. She'd been at this for a while already, and as massive as her reserves were, she was starting to feel them drain.

Their fists collided and sent both combatants flying backwards into trees. Himawari grunted in pain as her vision blurred. Quickly refocusing on her opponent, she saw that he was smiling.

He rubbed his fist, looking down at it before looking back at her. "You fight well for a woman. I killed several Hyuuga in my lifetime and none have fought like you. Who trained you?"

"Minato Namikaze and the scum that reanimated you before he abandoned Konoha." Himawari growled, healing her injuries and focusing her chakra in her right hand.

Mine nodded subtly, almost in approval. "Well, that would certainly explain why that Palm Rotation earlier felt like a Rasengan."

She needed just a little bit more time to prepare the attack she was getting ready for. "Doesn't seem like Orochimaru's really exerting any effort to control you." She observed.

"He's not." Mine replied bluntly.

Himawari was ready. Now she just needed to provoke him. "So, Mine, was it? Wasn't it the Fourth Chairman that took you out?"

Mine's eyebrow twitched. "Yes, I was killed by Kazuma Kiryu. What of it?"

Himawari smirked devilishly. "Must not feel good to know that one of your idol's closest friends hated your guts enough to kill you."  
That did it. "YOU WILL PAY FOR YOUR INSOLENCE!" Mine shouted, rushing forward and aiming a flaming fist at Himawari's face, screaming in rage.  
At the last possible moment, Himawari ducked underneath Mine's attempted strike and delivered an incredibly powerful strike to Mine's chakra center. Without an infusion of chakra, that strike was powerful enough to kill someone, but with an infusion of chakra, particularly chakra as potent as hers, it was much worse. Her Byakugan told her that with a single strike, she had turned his ribcage and several of his vertebrae to dust, most of his internal organs to paste, and temporarily disabled his chakra flow. He was sent flying back into a small gathering of trees and flew clean through them. Himawari followed him to where he finally stopped and began weaving hand seals. She drew a kunai across her palm before placing it on the ground. "Summoning jutsu!" She shouted, summoning a large scroll. She rolled out the scroll completely before looking over at Mine and moving him atop the scroll. He groaned pathetically in protestation, which Himawari promptly silenced with a quick jab to the face, breaking his nose.  
Once he was laid out on the scroll, she wove a different sequence of hand seals and Mine disappeared, with Mine's full name appearing in the blank spot in the center of the scroll.  
Himawari took a moment to breathe and calm herself down. A minute or so passed when Kaoru appeared behind Himawari in a puff of smoke, a large scroll under her arm.  
Himawari pointed at the scroll with her thumb without turning around. "I imagine that's Tamashiro?"  
Kaoru nodded. "He wasn't much trouble."  
Kaoru motioned at the scroll Mine was sealed inside. "That's Mine?"  
Himawari nodded tiredly. "Yeah. Got him with a Dragon Drop."  
Kaoru's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "How'd you learn that?"  
"Mei introduced me to Kiryu when I visited Kiri last." Himawari explained.  
Kaoru looked conflicted. "How is he?"  
Himawari knew what she was worrying about. "He's still single, Kaoru, but you don't have time to worry about that now."  
Himawari quickly scanned the forest with her Byakugan and found Ryuji's chakra signature rather quickly. He was nearly on top of an intense chakra signature she didn't recognize (Shimano, more than likely), wiping out stragglers that looked like they were trying to flee on his way there. In minutes, Ryuji had wiped a small army of shinobi from existence, and his reserves still looked nearly full.  
"Think we need to go help your brother deal with Shimano?" Himawari asked Kaoru, getting to her feet.  
Kaoru shook her head. "I'm sure he'll be fine. We need to go help out with the siege."  
Himawari nodded. "Right."  
With that, she and Kaoru made their way back towards the village.

Himawari desperately hoped Eiji, Naruto, and Sasuke were unharmed.

* * *

Ryuji removed his blade from the last soldier, panting heavily. His estimations had been correct. That massive crowd of soldiers had been comprised of exactly one-thousand and twenty-two men. He flicked the blood from his blade before sheathing it immediately before hearing a man speak.

"I see the Dragon of Kumo hasn't lost his edge."

The voice was deep. Scratchy. Ryuji recognized it from old Tojo Clan/Go-Ryu meetings.

A man walked out from behind a tree, dressed in black hakama, straw sandals, and a dark purple haori without a kimono underneath, revealing rippling musculature that itself betrayed a fondness for taijutsu, and he was large enough to have an odachi greatsword strapped to his _hip_ , meaning that he probably used it like a katana. He had to be at least seven feet tall, and in spite of the man's incredible size and infamous love of unhealthy foods, very little of him appeared to be fat. His head was completely shaved, but his eyebrows were very bushy. His small hazel eyes appeared to be sunken in his skull.

This man was one of the single most detestable human beings Ryuji had ever had the displeasure of working with.

"Shimano." Ryuji greeted flatly.

Futoshi Shimano crossed his arms, shaking his head. "Haven't lost your edge, but what the fuck happened to that ambition? That drive to conquer the world? From what I hear, Kiryu just beat it all out of you a few years after I died."

Ryuji dropped his cloak of lightning chakra. "Well, between that and meetin' my sister, I learned about somethin' I care about more than the Go-Ryu."

"Oh yeah?"

Ryuji nodded. "Yeah. Family. I've got a sister. Friends. Students. Bein' the boss of the Go-Ryu wouldn't let me develop those relationships at all."

"Well," Shimano grumbled, unsheathing the massive blade at his hip. "I don't think you're gonna see reason any time soon. You got too sentimental. We may as well get this crap over with now."

Ryuji, mildly frustrated that he had just sheathed his sword, removed it from its sheath once again as Shimano removed his haori with one hand and dropped it on the ground. Unlike Ryuji's tattoo, which was covering exclusively his back, Shimano's tattoo stretched from his back to cover his biceps, shoulders, and pectoral muscles, depicting a roaring tiger on his back and black swirling patterns accented by reddish-orange flowers that Ryuji didn't quite recognize everywhere else.

"That's prob'ly one of the few things we can agree on." Ryuji acknowledged begrudgingly, removing his sandals and reactivating his off-white/yellow lightning chakra cloak.  
Shimano did the same, coating himself in angry red electrical chakra.

The two men were on each other in a second, their swords colliding in a shower of sparks over and over and over at quite literally lightning speed. Their blades collided and pushed against each other with enough force to create a small fissure in the ground. Shimano's physical strength surpassed everyone Ryuji was aware of with a single exception, and his lightning chakra cloak only made him stronger.

Ryuji intensified his chakra cloak with a shout, pushing Shimano back enough to knee him in the stomach, headbutt him in the nose, and punch him backwards a few-hundred feet and into a large rock face, cracking it and discharging enough electricity to create a loud _boom_.

A bead of sweat rolled down Ryuji's forehead. "Fuckin' hell, I'm outta shape. A thousand guys in a few minutes? I'm gettin' slow." He mumbled to himself, wiping his forehead as he knelt down, leaning on his sword. How was he supposed to permanently destroy Shimano? He could only seal the massive man away, and he didn't even know how to do that. He was no good with fuinjutsu, and he didn't know the hand seals required for the infamous Reaper Death Seal. Only the Third Hokage did.

Wait, no, there was another way to permanently remove him from the picture.

Ryuji grinned as Shimano shoved a rooted tree out of his way. He seemed confused as to why Ryuji was smiling. "Why're you smiling?"

"Heh, I got an idea." Ryuji chuckled, briefly glancing skyward.

Ryuji flicked through a few hand seals and blew a cloud of flame at a grouping of trees to his right, using his chakra to force the flames to spread to every tree nearby. Fire jutsu weren't his specialty, but he could perform relatively basic jutsu like that with minimal difficulty.

The two men resumed their clash as smoke began to block out the sun with surprising speed. A minute or so later, the conditions were met for-  
Ryuji felt a sharp pain in his sternum as Shimano punched him in the stomach and kicked him in the jaw, sending Ryuji flying and displaying surprising flexibility for a man his size. Ryuji landed on his back and rolled to his feet about a hundred feet from where he'd been before.

Shimano, illuminated from behind by the blazing trees, discarded his blade, cracking his knuckles. "These blades are limiting us, Ryuji. Let's settle this like men."

Ryuji maintained his grin as he discarded his sword as well, in spite of the pain of what felt like several bruised ribs. "Heh, poor guy. No idea what yer in for, are ya?"

Shimano raised an eyebrow. "'Scuse me?"

"RAIJIN'S ARBITRATION: RAIJUU!" Ryuji roared, calling down a series of five lightning strikes directly down on Shimano. Shimano's chakra cloak protected him against the first two strikes, but he was hit full-force by the following three, bringing him to his knees.

Alright, now for step two.

"FIFTH GATE: GATE OF LIMIT!" Ryuji roared, assuming a horse stance as he felt incredible amounts of power and energy fill up his chakra pathway system.

Although Shimano looked very, VERY dazed, one could still see a single emotion very clearly in his small, beady eyes.

Fear.

Now for the final step.

"LIGHTNING STYLE: BLACK LIGHTNING CHAKRA MODE!" Ryuji shouted, his chakra cloak changing color from a yellowish off-white to pitch black.

Shimano's tiny eyes widened.

Ryuji sprinted up to Shimano with sufficient speed to melt parts of the rock he was running on. Ryuji sent Shimano skyward with an uppercut powerful enough to generate a shockwave that was itself large enough extinguish the forest fire before launching himself skyward and directly into Shimano, pummeling him with several hundred punches per-second, finishing off the barrage with a kick that cleared the sky and quite literally sent Shimano out into orbit.

As Ryuji lost consciousness on his way back to the ground, he vaguely hoped Guy would be proud of that display, and maybe that Kiryu would come and visit him in Konoha's hospital.

* * *

 **A/N:** As always, read and review. Happy to be back in the game.

Refer to the document going up in a bit consisting of links to character leitmotifs.


	25. Chapter 24: Sunaarashi, Part 2

**A/N:** At the start of this chapter, Orochimaru is duking it out with the Third Hokage.

* * *

 **Chapter 24: Sunaarashi, Part 2**

Sasuke watched Eiji scan their surroundings with both his Byakugan and Sharingan active. He was clearly very determined to catch these three. No surprise there, they had assisted in the invasion of Konoha, and Sasuke was of the opinion that that was reason enough to put them to the sword.

Sasuke looked around with his Sharingan, noticing multiple sets of footprints. "I think one of 'em is using clones, trying to send us the wrong way."

Eiji spotted a footprint that seemed to match up with Kankuro's sandals, and another one nearly twenty feet away, leading a different direction. Sasuke noticed that the closer footprint seemed to contain traces of Kankuro's almost geometric pale purple chakra, while the more distant one contained traces of Gaara's intense, angry red chakra.

"Looks like it's Kankuro. I think Gaara's using sand clones of him to create those other prints over there." Eiji observed, pointing to the more distant prints.

Eiji knelt down, tapping on the footprint directly in front of him. "This print contains Kankuro's chakra and it's slightly deeper than the one over there, meaning-"  
Sasuke continued his thought. "-that Gaara's probably trying to spread out as many as he can."

Eiji closed one eye and zoomed in on the more distant footprint with both his Sharingan and Byakugan active. "I'm seeing grains of sand in that print. Yeah, he's using sand clones to create the prints."

Sasuke approached Eiji from the side, Sharingan scanning the real prints. "Based on the angle of the real prints, I'd say we won't have to put in much effort to move faster than they are. Temari's probably flying on her fan; we can set fire to that, sever Kankuro's chakra threads-"

Eiji continued his idea. "-I'll just take out the tenketsu in his arms so he can't use his puppets or form hand seals, and after that-"

Sasuke finished the idea. "Gaara will be our only problem."

Eiji rose to his feet. "Right. I'll go for Kankuro, you take out Temari-"

Eiji stopped speaking and held up a hand. "Wait. We're being followed."

Sasuke frowned. "Elaborate."

"I'm picking up Naruto, Sakura, and one of Kakashi's Ninken a mile or so behind us, but they're catching up fast." Eiji explained.

Sasuke nodded in agreement. "Right. Let's go."

Eiji leapt forward first, but in his haste to catch the Sand Siblings, he failed to notice the tripwire bombs directly in front of him.

Sasuke felt his heart skip a beat as he leapt forward and caught his nephew with chakra-enhanced strength, spinning the both of them mid-air to dodge another tripwire bomb and landing on the side of the tree, absently wondering how much extra muscle-mass Eiji had put on since they had begun training for finals.

He inhaled slowly before exhaling and setting Eiji down on the branch below him. "Man, how much extra muscle did you put on over the past month?"

"Thanks." Eiji mumbled, ignoring the question with a fair amount of embarrassment in his voice.

Sasuke tossed a few paper tags at the remaining tripwire bombs in his Sharingan-enhanced vision, detonating them and clearing the two boys' path.

Sasuke then turned to Eiji, who was clearing shreds of wood and dirt off of his hooded coat. "Eiji, you gotta be careful. I'd expect stupid crap like that from Naruto, but not from you. Got it? You getting splattered all over one of these trees would only make Mayumi happy-"

Eiji's eyes widened as he pointed to a small clearing of tree branches. "There they are!" He whispered.

Sasuke whipped his head in the direction Eiji was pointing, Sharingan swirling back to life. His eyes were telling him that Kankuro and Temari's respective musculatures were both relaxing a bit. Gaara looked borderline comatose; barely awake.

Sasuke rubbed his chin, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. "Looks like they're resting for a bit. Wanna try a pincer attack?"

Eiji nodded. "Sure. You get their attention from the front and I'll hide behind them and take out the first one to move."

"I'm guessing that's gonna be Temari." Sasuke whispered, thinking out loud.

"I'd probably be better for dealing with Kankuro, and I never got to finish my fight with Gaara. Let's swap."

Sasuke thought it was strange to hear such talk from his normally gentle and soft-spoken nephew, but they didn't have the time to discuss this. "Fine. Just be careful if we get separated. Your mom said Gaara's got some tricks up his sleeve. Keep an eye on what his chakra's doing."

Eiji nodded before tossing a few kunai into the tree trunk to Temari's left and positioning himself on the tree branch across from the three Suna Genin.

Sasuke positioned himself behind a nearby tree as he watched Eiji grin mockingly at the three older Genin. "Why did you think sand clones were going to work?"

In spite of the situation, Sasuke couldn't help but focus more on Eiji's difference in disposition than the actual task at hand. What had caused this?

"Ah jeez, it's that Hyuuga kid with the weird eyes." Kankuro mumbled.

Sasuke trained his Sharingan on Eiji and saw that there was quite a bit of chakra flowing from his Cursed Seal to the rest of his body.

Well, that explained at least some of it, probably most of it. Sasuke had struggled controlling his own during his first few attempts at performing the chidori, even with the seal around it.

Kankuro readjusted Gaara, who was currently slung over his shoulder. "Well, what're you gonna do? There're three of us and one of you."

Temari leapt into the air, unfolding her fan. "Go, Kankuro! Take Gaara and get out of-"

This was Sasuke's chance. He performed the _shunshin_ and appeared right in front of Temari, moving at the same velocity as her.

Sasuke grinned, not about to miss out on a chance to gloat. "Surprise."

Kankuro seemed to put two and two together and flew off through the trees without another word, Eiji in hot pursuit.

Temari realized what was happening much more quickly than Sasuke expected her to and blasted him away with a gust of wind from her fan, propelling both combatants back into nearby trees.

Sasuke maintained his grin as he caught a thick branch and returned to his feet, panting and pushing more chakra to his Sharingan.

Temari looked remarkably unsettled, and her chakra reserves were nearly gone.

Oh, this would be a piece of cake.

* * *

All it took for Eiji to catch up with Kankuro and Gaara was Sasuke cutting him off after perhaps two minutes of relatively leisurely pursuit. In truth, Eiji had dragged it out to give Sasuke time to deal with Temari and shake off Naruto, Sakura, and Pakkun. He cared about at least Naruto and Sakura a great deal, and didn't want someone as fragile as Sakura or as stupid as Naruto to become collateral damage. Gaara was clearly a jinchuuriki, meaning that their fight would result in significant amounts of collateral damage. There was a very high chance that anyone nearby that couldn't handle themselves would get turned into a fine red paste.

Sasuke, still smiling, panted heavily as he kept his eyes trained on Kankuro and Gaara. "Done running?"

Kankuro was also panting heavily. "Who said I was running? I'll take you on, no problem! You and that stupid Hyuuga kid!"

Eiji suppressed his instinct (that was likely coming from the mark on his manubrium) to shatter Kankuro's skull then and there. He needed to wait for the right time.

Temari dropped down from the canopy above. "Wait!"

Kankuro's eyes widened. "Temari! When Uchiha showed up and you didn't, I thought he must've finished you."

Temari kept her eyes trained on Sasuke. "He could've, and why he didn't, I don't know. Guess I didn't delay him for very long, did I?"

Eiji performed the _shunshin_ and appeared next to Sasuke. "About three minutes."

Eiji examined her with his Byakugan. She had several bruised ribs, a sprained ankle, and numerous abrasions covering her back. She was using chakra to numb the pain. Sasuke had probably just knocked her out of the air with enough force to send her flying, then left to catch up with Eiji, Kankuro, and Gaara.

Eiji then pointed at Temari. "Good try if all those injuries are to be believed, though."

Kankuro did his best to ignore him, although both were probably only now starting to realize that Eiji had been able to see them in the nude this whole time. "It's okay. Every second gave Gaara more time to recover, and the more chakra these two are forced to use up, the better for us."

Eiji scanned his surroundings with his Byakugan, noticing that Naruto, Sakura, and Pakkun were closing in fast. Shino Aburame as well, though Eiji didn't know how he'd found them.

Eiji lightly elbowed his uncle. "Sasuke, we've got Naruto, Sakura, and one of Kakashi's Ninken comin' in hot. Shino Aburame, too."

Sasuke did not respond, only furrowing his eyebrows.

Temari looked to her brother, expression desperate. "Kankuro, go on, get Gaara out of her, I got th-"

Kankuro cut off his sister by passing Gaara off to her as he leapt forward to a branch nearer to Eiji and Sasuke, beginning to unbind his puppet. "You take Gaara and go on ahead, I'll hold these two off as long as I can."

Temari began to protest, but Kankuro cut her off. "Look at yourself, Temari, you're all worn out. Let me do what I can here, you just work on getting as far away as possible."

Temari looked like she was going to protest again, but decided against it as she scooped up Gaara and used the last of her chakra reserves (excluding those that kept her alive) to perform the _shunshin_ , moving them both almost two miles away.

Eiji looked over at Sasuke. "Get after her."

"On it." Sasuke agreed before zipping off in Temari's direction.

Kankuro grinned. "Alright, time to pick on someone your own size, Hyuuga."

Eiji remained silent, sliding into a typical Gentle Fist fighting stance. This would be over before it had even really started.

"Hold it! I've got first dibs on him, Eiji."

Eiji recognized that voice. Didn't even need to reactivate his Byakugan to know who it was, though he still did.

"Out of curiosity, how'd you find us, Shino?" The Hyuuga boy inquired, genuinely curious. Eiji liked Shino, even though he knew very little about the Aburame.

Shino pointed at Eiji. "Planted a beetle on you as you left the arena. A female; gives off a faint scent. Too faint for any of us, but more than enough for her mate. He has a very strong sense of smell, and he'd follow her just about anywhere."

Eiji looked down at his hoodie and spotted two beetles on his shoulder. He very gently picked them up and placed them on the tree branch he was standing on.  
Sasuke had been right earlier. Eiji needed to pay closer attention. Those beetles contained traces of Shino's chakra; Eiji could have noticed them much earlier.

Shino continued monologuing. "You're really after Gaara, aren't you Eiji? Your match against him was never finished. Well, I have similar unfinished business with Kankuro. We never got to our match. It never even started."

Eiji thought for a moment. "On one condition."

"Name it." Shino said flatly.

"After this whole thing is over, I wanna know more about the Aburame. Your clan seems interesting." Eiji proposed. There wasn't a lot of text about them in the Konoha library. They were a very secretive clan, and all Eiji really know about them was that they were fond of bugs and that his mother disliked them with a passion.

Shino nodded. "Deal. He's mine. Go after Gaara."

Eiji nodded wordlessly before leaping off towards Sasuke's chakra signature.

Both fortunately and unfortunately, Eiji didn't need his Byakugan to find Sasuke's general location anymore, because Gaara was screaming and trees were coming down. Eiji picked up the pace as much as he was able, eventually starting to make out coherent speech from Gaara.

"...t's wrong, Sasuke Uchiha, are you really so afraid of me?! Has all your hatred and sense of purpose dwindled down to this?! Abject fear?! Is this the existence you live now, that of a coward?! Come out and fight me! Show me that I'm wrong!" Shouted the creature that could have probably at one point been called "Gaara of the Desert."

In truth, Eiji wasn't particularly intimidated by this beast that Gaara had become. He recognized the risks involved with fighting a jinchuuriki, of course, but he wasn't feeling like Temari, who was near throwing up down on the forest floor, hiding behind a tree. Instead, he simply hid about fifty feet away, behind a tree trunk, looking through it with his Byakugan as he formulated a plan of attack and observed the situation.

Eiji refocused his eyes on Sasuke. The boy's face was a mask.

Then he wove a series of hand seals as his Sharingan reactivated.

Electrical chakra crackled to life around Sasuke's left hand.

Uh oh. Gaara's mocking had gotten to him, wounded his pride.

Eiji knew from personal experience that that was the best way to make Sasuke do something positively stupid that he wouldn't even attempt in any other situation.

Gaara and Sasuke leapt towards each other, and the screams of agony Gaara produced when Sasuke's chidori ripped through his arm would best be described as "unholy."

A moment passed of Gaara screaming after both he and Sasuke landed on opposing branches.

Gaara monologued for a few moments, Eiji not really paying much attention to what he was saying, before producing a single tail made from sand and leaping at Sasuke. A brief examination with the Byakugan told Eiji it was Tailed Beast chakra holding all of that sand together, meaning that not only was it incredibly unsafe for Eiji to try absorbing it, but it also explained why Gaara was able to move faster than what Sasuke's two-tomoe Sharingan was able to predict.

Sasuke having just been knocked back into a tree trunk, Eiji decided that now it was time to come up with a proper plan of attack while Gaara was monologuing again about the "value of Sasuke's existence" or something similarly batshit.

Before Eiji was able to formulate anything of substance, however, Gaara and Sasuke leapt at each other once more, and what Eiji saw happening within Sasuke's chakra pathway system made his heart skip a beat.

Sasuke was only being kept alive by the power of Orochimaru's chakra. If not for that, Sasuke would have just dropped dead. That was more than enough for Eiji to discard anything resembling a plan and simply dive in headfirst, as Naruto likely would have ten minutes ago.

As Gaara leapt for a now incapacitated Sasuke, Eiji ejected himself from his hiding position, only to inadvertently perform a pincer attack on Gaara, with the other half of said pincer attack being Naruto. Gaara was sent flying back through several trees as Sakura made a mess of herself over Sasuke's limp form.

Naruto looked over at Eiji and smiled, panting heavily from the branch he was positioned on. He remained silent, electing instead to wave tiredly at his adoptive brother.

Eiji returned the gesture. "You ready for this?"

Naruto nodded. "I mean, sure, but who the hell is he?"

"Naruto, you fucking idiot, use your eyes! That's Gaara!" Sasuke choked out from between clenched teeth.

Naruto looked at Eiji, then Sasuke, then back at Gaara in utter confusion.

"It's true. He's just being possessed by his Tailed Beast. I remember reading that Tailed Beast Possession doesn't normally look like this, but I guess it's different in Shukaku's case." Eiji explained.

Sasuke screamed in pain several branches behind them, expending all of his effort to adequately suppress Orochimaru's monstrously powerful chakra.

Naruto clenched his fist, making the same face he always did when he was angry at everything because he was failing to understand something important. "The hell is a Shukaku?"

"Naruto, you-" Eiji growled in frustration.

"DIE, SASUKE UCHIHA!" Gaara shouted, leaping forward at incredible speed, aiming his transformed arm at Sasuke.

Eiji watched Sakura's muscles twitch as she was about to make to move in front of Sasuke, and Eiji was reminded of something that his mother had told him about love: _Eiji, if you love someone, you prioritize them above yourself._

Eiji performed the _shunshin_ and "teleported" in front of Sasuke, shoving Sakura out of the way and using chakra-enhanced strength to hold Gaara back. Eiji felt his weakest fingers, his pinky and his ring fingers, break. He stifled a yelp of pain. Right now, Eiji had a few options, and none of them looked particularly viable.

Eiji grit his teeth as sand dug into his hands, drawing blood. Gaara growled ferociously, pushing Eiji back with greater force. Eiji felt Gaara attempting to absorb his hands, but Eiji countered that attempt by expelling just enough chakra from his palms to keep Gaara's sand in place.

Eiji turned to Sakura. "Sakura, grab Sasuke and get him to Kakashi, now!" He barked.

She blinked, still stuck in a stunned silence.

Eiji's eyes grew almost wild. "Now, Sakura! Keep him safe!"

That knocked her from her stupor. Sakura placed Sasuke's arm over her shoulder and jumped off through the forest, back towards the village.

Gaara watched this happen, and when he moved to pursue them, Naruto kicked him back.

Naruto cracked his knuckles. "Gotta get through us first, jerk."

For some reason, that seemed to set something off in Gaara. He screeched in agony, clutching at the right side of his forehead, calling out to someone called "Yashamaru," before eventually calming himself down. Eiji took the brief pause in the skirmish to heal his fingers and the cuts on his hands.

Gaara looked between Eiji and Naruto, confused fury apparent on his deformed face.  
"You two and Sasuke, who are you three to each other?!" He growled, eyelid twitching.

Before Eiji could come up with the exact legal terminology, Naruto spoke. "Who are they to me? They're my goddamn brothers! If you even think about laying so much as another finger on either one of them, I WILL PULVERIZE YOU!"

Eiji simply moved his head in Naruto's direction. "Not brothers by blood, but you get the idea. What he said."

Naruto, for some unfathomable reason, decided that now was a good idea to attack Gaara. He jumped forward and was immediately slapped back into a tree trunk by Gaara's tail made of sand.

Eiji leapt forward without thinking, blasting Gaara with a vacuum palm and knocking him from the tree branch. Eiji caught the branch with one arm, repositioned himself, and ejected himself straight at Gaara, performing a palm rotation midair, maintaining it for precisely two seconds, then ejecting both himself and Gaara from it, sending Gaara down to the forest floor and Eiji back up to the branch Gaara had been standing on.

Eiji looked down at Gaara, who appeared to be trying to figure out what exactly had just happened to him. "We warned you!" Eiji shouted down at him.

A second or so later, the branch exploded underneath Eiji's feet as Gaara's arm tore through it, grabbed Eiji, and extended forward, pinning him against a nearby tree trunk. Eiji felt pressure closing in on him from every direction, and his entire body felt as if it was going to explode. He tried expelling chakra from all of his tenketsu, but Gaara's Tailed Beast chakra was just infinitely stronger, and he couldn't focus through all the pain.

Eiji let out a scream of pain. The world was turning red with all the pain.

"Why don't you attack?! What's the matter?! Don't you care about what happens to your precious 'brother'?!" Gaara spat, practically frothing at the mouth.

Gaara tightened his grip on Eiji. The pain was growing so intense that he needed to close his eyes. He could only hear what happened beyond that, but it sounded like Naruto had just attempted and to perform the summoning jutsu.

As the sand grew harder and harder and the pressure grew and grew, Eiji eventually blacked out, and found himself in a black void.

It was completely silent, except for the occasional dripping of water.

Minutes passed. Eiji was immobile, seemingly incorporeal. He couldn't move, because there was nothing for him to move, and nowhere for him to move to.

Then, a voice. Smooth, androgynous, enticing.

Orochimaru.

"Oh, child, you disappoint me. Surely that's not all you have up your sleeve. You've turned sand to glass once, you can do it again."

Eiji had an idea.

"And there it is. Remember, Eiji, that should you ever require more power, draw from my mark." Eiji could practically hear the smile in Orochimaru's voice.

And then he was promptly yanked straight back to reality, and greeted by the sight of no less than two-thousand Narutos.

He didn't have time to dwell on that, the pressure he was feeling was incredible, and if he didn't at least attempt this jutsu now, he'd die.

Eiji blasted all of the sand off of himself with a roar and placed his hands together, voicing the name of the jutsu he'd just created. "FIRE STYLE: CLOAK OF FLAMES!"

With that, every last drop of chakra in his system was moulded into fire chakra. His hair felt almost weightless, most of his clothes burned off, and he felt cleaner than he had in months, strangely enough. Eiji looked down at his hands as Gaara was pummeled by a torrent of thousands of Narutos (Sasuke more than likely had nightmares like this before). The flames were bright white closer to his skin, just like his chakra, and became more grey as it grew more distanced from his skin. He examined his hair with his Byakugan, and saw that it appeared as weightless as it felt; the chakra was holding much of it aloft, as if gravity was no longer affecting it.  
Then, Eiji's focus returned to the problem at hand as a gigantic tanuki made of sand appeared in the same clearing Gaara had just been blasted back into moments ago.

Well, that must be Shukaku.

Eiji spotted Naruto and decided to try something. He jumped high up in the air, so as to distance himself from the trees he would set ablaze if he expelled his chakra in the forest canopy, and then blasted himself skyward with fire chakra, quickly learning how his new jutsu worked as something even stranger occurred: a gigantic toad wearing a dark pale blue _happi_ vest and smoking a pipe appeared directly across from Shukaku, with Naruto standing on top of its head.

So Naruto had made a contract with the toads of Mount Myoboku at some point over the past month. Eiji hadn't spoken to Naruto much over that time period, being very busy training with either Ryuji or shadow clones of Itachi Uchiha, but it would appear that Naruto had met up with Jiraiya of the Sannin at some point, the only human he knew of that maintained contact with the toads of Mt. Myoboku.

Eiji propelled himself forward towards the giant toad's head with an explosion of flaming white chakra, learning quickly that it worked easily five times more effectively than unmoulded chakra as a propellant, before landing on his target's head with a dull _smack_. Eiji was careful to deactivate his flaming chakra cloak before hitting the massive toad's head.

Fortunately for Eiji, the giant creature that was probably Lord Gamabunta didn't seem to perceive the impact as painful. Eiji decided that this was probably Gamabunta on account of all of the toad's facial scarring and its general appearance lining up with what he'd read about the toads of Mt. Myoboku.

"What the hell," it rumbled in an earthshaking, scratchy, and distinctly male voice as its eyes focused in on Naruto and Eiji, "you again, and you've got another squirt with you? What the hell is this, huh?"

The mountainous toad looked across from him. "Well would you lookit that, Shukaku the Sand Spirit..."

"Oh, THAT'S a Shukaku..." Naruto mumbled absently, scratching his head.

"Technically a Tailed Beast, and there's only one of them..." Eiji mumbled, quietly correcting both Naruto and the giant toad.

Once again, fortunately for Eiji, the toad did not appear to notice.

Naruto looked down at the toad they were both standing on. "Well, whaddya say, will ya fight alongside us?"

The massive toad took a long drag from his pipe before exhaling a cloud of smoke out of the side of his mouth. "Take a hike, boys."

"WHAT?!" Naruto shouted.

"Why would I go outta my way to pick a fight with a guy like him? You think I'm as dumb as you?" The toad rumbled dryly.

Naruto's face was as red as a tomato. He looked like he was about to explode. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOU ALREADY TOLD ME YOU'D MAKE ME YOUR HENCHMAN, DIDN'T YOU?! BOSSES ARE S'POSED TO HELP OUT THEIR HENCHMEN!"

This must have been related to a conversation Eiji hadn't been present for.

The giant toad sighed again, closing his eyes. "We didn't even seal the deal yet, kid."

"AH, C'MON, I'M NOT OLD ENOUGH TO MAKE ANY KINDA DEAL YET, WE JUST NEED YOUR HELP!" Naruto screeched, sounding more than a little panicked.

An orange toad about the size of your average lapdog hopped atop Naruto's head from seemingly nowhere. "Ah, c'mon, pops, at least hear the kid out." It requested in a much younger male voice, addressing the giant toad.

Eiji narrowed his eyes. Yep, this was Gamabunta, the Chief Toad. Naruto had somehow managed to summon one of the largest beings in their world and his chakra reserves hadn't even dropped below 95%.

Was this the power of the Nine-Tails, or just Naruto? If it was just Naruto, Eiji was incredibly thankful that the boy was on his side.

Eiji knelt down, bowing his head. Diplomacy and etiquette were the solutions to this problem. "Chief Toad, apologies for the intrusion, but we need your help in this fight. If we can't defeat him, he'll destroy Konohagakure and kill everyone we hold dear to us."

The toad on Naruto's head pointed at Shukaku. "Yeah, and he was pickin' on me before!"

Gamabunta looked up at the small toad on Naruto's head. "Come again, Gamakichi?"

"Ah yeah, real nasty fella, but when he did, these two came to my rescue! They went head to head and toe to toe with that monster! I'm tellin' ya, pops, they may be small, but there's a lot more to 'em than you might think." Gamakichi elaborated.

In truth, Eiji hadn't even noticed Gamakichi's presence, but he still felt honored that the son of Gamabunta was speaking about both he and Naruto in such a way. He dipped his head to Gamakichi. "Thank you, Master Gamakichi. We've both been working very hard."

Naruto failed to notice Eiji's politeness and etiquette entirely. "What?! You two are father and son?!"

Gamabunta refocused on Shukaku. "Yeah, we are, and I don't particularly care for anyone that pushes my little boy around."

Gamabunta slowly drew his colossal tanto. "Okay, kid, you're hereby accepted as my henchman, and the both of you are welcome on Mt. Myoboku whenever Jiraiya says you're ready."

The Chief Toad then squinted his eyes, tightening his grip on his blade. "Alright, boys, sit tight fer now, we got a sand spirit to take out."

Naruto, for once, kept a straight, serious face. Eiji appreciated that.

Eiji recognized the position Gamabunta assumed. He was preparing for a quickdraw with his knife.

Uh oh.

Eiji gripped Gamabunta's head with as much force as he could muster as Gamabunta charged forward. "HANG ON TIGHT, SMALL FRY!" Gamabunta shouted over the sounds of a forest being leveled.

Naruto just screamed in response, flailing around and barely keeping hold of Gamakichi.

With no warning, Gamabunta leapt into the air and brought his tanto down on Shukaku, lopping off the massive creature's arm.

"HOW D'YA LIKE THAT, HUH?!" Gamabunta roared.

Shukaku shook him off with minimal effort, sending the blade and Gamabunta flying. Both landed at around the same time, generating a brief earthquake that would be measured at around a 6.5 on the Richter Scale.

Eiji tapped on Gamabunta's head. "Chief Toad, we need to lure him over here, to us. There are still people over there that we don't want to hurt." He said, pointing back to where Shino and Pakkun were.

Before anyone could follow that statement up, Gaara slowly rose out of Shukaku's forehead. There were no pupils in his eyes, and after forming the ram hand seal, he went completely limp.

As Gamabunta explained the current situation to a clueless Naruto, Eiji zoomed in on Gaara with his Byakugan, and the results of his short scan were less than favorable.

After Gamabunta completed his explanation of the mechanics of Shukaku, Naruto just looked more confused.

Eiji frowned. "Gaara is transferring control over to Shukaku because Shukaku can make better use of his own abilities than Gaara can."

Comprehension appeared in Naruto's eyes. "Oh."

Gamabunta smirked as much as a toad could. "Heh, thanks fer the translation, squirt."

A beat.

Another beat.

The massive sand tanuki threw its head back and laughed maniacally. "HA HA! I'M FINALLY FREE! HERE I COME, BABY!"

"Man, that is one funky demon." Gamakichi observed.

Eiji cocked his head to the side. He certainly hadn't expected these kinds of speech patterns from a titanic being of eldritch power. "I expected something more dignified."

Shukaku grinned like a madman and pointed at Gamabunta. "YEE-HAW, HERE WE GO! HOPE YOU'RE READY TO DIE! NARUTO UZUMAKI, EIJI HYUUGA, GAMABUNTA, LET'S FUCKIN' DO THIS!"

Eiji suspected he/it knew Eiji's name because it could read Gaara's mind.

"I'm gonna jump." Gamabunta warned his passengers.

"Wha-" was all Eiji and Naruto managed to spit out.

"WIND STYLE: AIR BULLETS!" Shukaku shouted, squeezing its stomach and blasting a projectile of compressed air at Gamabunta, who leapt out of the way, directly upwards, and countered with several water bullets.

When they all landed, Eiji looked over at Naruto. He needed to spit this out quickly. "Okay, Naruto, first thing we gotta do is wake Gaara up."

"And how are we supposed to do that?" Naruto shouted back.

"The next time Chief Toad jumps up, have some of your clones throw me at Gaara. I'll take it from there."

Gamabunta held up a hand. "Hold up, boys, I'm gonna need Naruto to transform the two of us into somethin' that'll be able to get a good grip on Shukaku first; somethin' with fangs 'n claws. Transformations aren't my specialty."

Naruto created a single shadow clone before forming the sheep hand seal. "Here goes nothin'..." He trailed off as Gamabunta charged forward.

"TRANSFORM!" Gamabunta and Naruto shouted simultaneously, exploding in a gigantic puff of smoke.

Gamabunta's slimy toad skin was replaced by red-orange fur, which he immediately gripped as tightly as he possibly could.

Eiji rotated his head to the left (his Byakugan did the rest of the work) and saw nine tails whipping around in various directions.

Well, this was an experience that was unlikely to ever occur again.

Eiji was riding what he suspected to be a perfect replica of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, and he suspected Naruto's Tailed Beast chakra was more than likely responsible for this form.

Shukaku shot another Air Bullet at them, but Gamabunta shot into the air at incredible speed, launching himself forward, high into the air, and then right into Shukaku's massive tail. The impact destroyed Naruto's clone and almost sent Gamakichi flying. Gamabunta growled at Shukaku as he returned to standing position, immediately charging straight at Shukaku and making a few swipes for his face. Shukaku dodged each one and delivered a hook to the right side of Gamabunta's growled as he dodged out of the way of another punch. "Alright, squirt, looks like it's up to you. You get as high in the air as you can while I get a good grip on him, then you come down hard on that Gaara runt. Got it?"

Eiji nodded, letting go of Gamabunta and preparing to jump.

Gamabunta bucked with a loud grunt, sending Eiji flying into the sky as the former chomped down on Shukaku and dug his newly-formed fangs into the sand spirit's hide, holding him in place as he/it screamed in pain and desperately tried to wriggle himself free with only one arm.

Eiji, meanwhile, was shooting skyward at about 5G, or about 49 miles-per-second squared, shielding himself with a coating of chakra. In order to prevent himself from flying into orbit, Eiji cloaked himself in fire chakra once more and expelled chakra from his back, reducing his velocity to nothing.

For just a moment, Eiji felt weightless. It was a novel feeling, quite pleasant, actually, but it couldn't last.

Not with what he had planned.

Increasing his velocity once more to more than twice his ascending velocity with his flaming chakra cloak, Eiji shot straight down at Gaara like a human missile.

Then, another idea.

At the last possible moment, Eiji remoulded the flaming chakra into Earthen chakra by forming the snake hand seal and coated himself with it, effectively imitating Shigeri's Steel kekkei genkai in terms of durability. Unfortunately, changing his chakra cloak from the relatively weightless fire to the much heavier earth had the unintended side-effect of throwing Eiji's trajectory off by just enough to make him miss Gaara. He landed on Shukaku's forehead, resulting in a loud crunching noise, and a great deal of screaming from Shukaku. Eiji was fine, but that had drained Eiji's reserves much more than he'd expected it to, and as a result, he felt an incredible pain on his manubrium as Orochimaru's chakra began to supplement his own. His chakra, normally a pure white, was beginning to darken into a sickly grey, and black geometric lines were beginning to spread down his body and up onto his face.

Gamabunta and Naruto assumed their normal forms again in another massive puff of smoke.

Naruto was beaming. "HOLY SHIT THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN YOU-"

"Kid, the squirt needs help." Gamabunta grumbled, struggling against Shukaku's writhing form.

Naruto refocused himself on the task at hand. "Oh yeah."

Naruto created a shadow clone that tossed him straight at Gaara. Naruto aimed a punch at his fellow jinchuuriki's head. "RISE AND SHINE!" He bellowed, fist impacting Gaara's skull with incredible force.

Shukaku shouted something in protest after that, but Eiji couldn't understand it through all the pain in his everywhere. Eiji's sense of time was no longer coherent with how much everything hurt. In spite of all of it, though, Eiji had another idea. He wasn't going to be able to stop the onset of Orochimaru's chakra, but he could at least direct the inevitable violent urges at the correct people.

Eiji, beaten, bruised, and generally looking like he'd just crawled out of hell itself, looked over at Gamabunta. "Chief Toad, I need you to throw me back to Konoha. Don't ask any questions, just please do it." He requested politely through grit teeth.

Ignoring Naruto's protestations, Gamabunta wrapped Eiji up in his tongue and whipped him at Konoha, Eiji forming the snake hand seal using the last of his own reserves to soften his rather explosive landing by forming a shell of earthen chakra around his body.

As luck would have it, Gamabunta had thrown him straight at the barrier constructed by the Sound Four, just as they were about to release it.

* * *

Orochimaru was having a bad day. His invasion of Konoha had failed, and it had failed _hard_.

The dead Yakuza he'd brought back to demolish the Jounin?

Sealed away, with one blasted into orbit by the second-strongest nintaijutsu user in the world.

The Sand and Sound shinobi, along with the jinchuuriki of Shukaku and his two siblings?

All captured, actively deserting, or dead, having been mowed down in _minutes_ by what amounted to inexperienced children, their more experienced parents, retirees, and one intensely angry single mother, albeit an extremely powerful one. The one exception was Kabuto, who was busy using the chaos to gather more intelligence on the village's best shinobi and kunoichi.

On top of all that, his arms had just been sealed away, and switching bodies wouldn't fix this problem, at least not completely. Every ninjutsu, genjutsu, and taijutsu that required the use of his arms was now quite literally out of his reach. Unless he switched bodies in the next few days, he was at serious risk of being assassinated, likely by Himawari or Kakashi. If it had to happen, he hoped it would be the latter; the former would be significantly more painful and much more likely to destroy Oto while she was at it.

Sure, the Third Hokage was dead, and that was incredibly satisfying, but at what cost? If Orochimaru didn't have another body quite literally waiting for him back in Otogakure, none of this would have been even close to worth it.

"Sakon! Ukon! Our mission has changed. The invasion has failed. Release the barrier, we must retreat." Orochimaru barked in Sakon and Ukon's general direction.

All four (five, if one counted Sakon and Ukon as two people) nodded. "Right. Release!" They shouted in unison, releasing the barrier before surrounding their leader.

Seconds later, something happened that not even a perfectly-evolved Sharingan could predict.

Eiji Hyuuga, wrapped in earthen chakra, crashed through the trees and landed directly behind Hiruzen Sarutobi's corpse. When the earthen chakra receded, Orochimaru saw that his clothes were torn to shreds and bloodied in many places, scorched everywhere else, and his cursed seal was rapidly spreading across his body.

Orochimaru blinked in surprise. He certainly hadn't expected this. At this point, he'd take any body with functioning arms, even a pre-pubescent one like this.

Orochimaru narrowed his eyes. "Change of plans. The boy comes with-"

Orochimaru didn't get a chance to complete his thought. Before he could, Eiji Hyuuga was standing up, cursed seal having spread completely across his body, and both of his eyes were active. He was surrounded by an intense grey chakra with a very slight purple tinge. Eiji looked down at the Third Hokage's corpse, then back up at Orochimaru.

Orochimaru recognized the look in his eyes.

Eiji Hyuuga was no longer present.

In his place was every violent urge the boy had ever once felt, and it was all concentrated on Orochimaru. He had been immune to the effects of killing intent for years, but he could still feel it, and this was the kind of killing intent that only one of Orochimaru's cursed seals could produce.

Now, if Orochimaru's arms were functional, he'd be able to use Eijij's cursed seal to control the boy like a human puppet, but right now, that wouldn't work. Before Orochimaru or any of the Sound Four could react in any substantive manner, Eiji leapt forward onto Orochimaru, ripped his left arm off, and began to beat him with it, roaring as ferociously as a ten-year-old boy was able to. Orochimaru doubted that the Sound Four had ever been faced with a situation this bizarre before, which was why he was willing to give them something of a pass for just standing there dumbly while this child was assaulting him.

Orochimaru didn't feel a lot of pain in general on account of his nerves being dulled after countless experiments and modifications, but that didn't mean he was enjoying his current situation. Being beaten with his own arm did have some comedic value to it, which he would have appreciated more if not for everything else wrong with what was happening right now.

Fortunately, Orochimaru retained full use of his legs, and used them to push Eiji off of him and back about a hundred feet, into a wall of trees, knocking the wind from his lungs, but only for a moment. Mere seconds after impact, the boy was already rising to his feet. He'd clearly taken to the Cursed Seal of Earth like a fish to water. Orochimaru would have to look into this more, but his first instinct was to think that perhaps Eiji's chakra signature was quite similar to his own.

As much as Orochimaru was loathe to admit this, now was not a good time to try kidnapping Eiji. He needed his personal guard, and Eiji in his current state looked like he could probably take out at least two of them, even in their Version 2 forms.

Orochimaru's head snapped in Tayuya's direction. "Tayuya, use your Doki to distract him while we escape! Now!"

Tayuya nodded wordlessly, performed the summoning jutsu, pulled her Demon Flute from a pouch on her hip, played a brief but complex melody, placed it back in her pouch, and nodded once more at her leader. "They'll target him now, but they should leave him alive and disappear if they actually defeat him."

"Good. Even if Kimimaro is my next host, the Hyuuga boy may still prove of use to me." Orochimaru explained, referring primarily to the boy's eyes.

Tayuya's Doki appeared in three large puffs of smoke. The long-haired one with the club attacked Eiji first. Orochimaru dearly hoped that Tayuya had played the correct melody, and that her Doki would not kill the boy that had the potential to be the most powerful shinobi in history.

Eiji dodged the Doki's gigantic studded club, jumped up onto it and sprinted up the club before finally kicking the Doki in the face and grabbing onto the creature's hair, slamming it down onto the ground, cracking the roof's tiling. The boy immediately leapt towards the next nearby Doki and plowed into its face with a Palm Rotation, sending it flying back into a series of tree trunks.

Orochimaru grinned as the world turned into a blur while Eiji engaged the third Doki by picking up the studded club, channeling fire chakra into it, and charging at the third Doki, hefting the club with incredible chakra-enhanced strength.  
Who was he kidding? He had nothing to worry about.

* * *

 **A/N:** It always bugged me that there wasn't a fire equivalent of the lightning chakra cloak used by the Raikage. Well, now there is. If you're curious about how specifically it works and you can't wait for Eiji to use it more, just shoot me a P.M.  
Speaking of which, if I get enough asking for me to add Eiji's fight with the Doki on to the end of this chapter, I'll do it, but it doesn't really add anything substantial to the story. He just kills them and then passes out from exhaustion.

And yeah, Eiji did just perform the Orbital Drop from inFamous: Second Son.

Expect the next chapter or two to be mostly dialogue. Action sequences are great, but I think dialogue and characters interacting with each other has the potential to be more interesting, especially in writing.  
Remember who the antagonists of the next arc are.

 _~Essence of Clotheslining_


	26. Chapter 25: Yatagarasu

**A/N:** Holy crap, we're at more than 30K views. That makes me really happy.

 **Chapter 25:** _ **Yatagarasu** _

**~Approximately Eleven Years Ago~**

Himawari Hyuuga watched the man she loved rap on the Third Hokage's door three times consecutively. "Sandaime?"

"Come in!" Came the response. There wasn't much resembling recognition in his tone. Himawari suspected he was wrapped up in paperwork, as usual.

Itachi opened the door, gripping Himawari's hand with his free one as he led her through the door.

Just before passing through the doorway, he looked back at her. "Are you ready for this?"

The Hyuuga heiress nodded, although she felt nervous for the first time in ages. By comparison to the war, this was nothing, but she and Itachi had spent weeks planning this. It had been her idea and Itachi had agreed to it without hesitation, but she was still feeling very nervous.

"I am. We can do this." She reassured him, squeezing his hand.

He smiled warmly and the two of them walked through the doorway.

Itachi waved, smiling. "Hello, Lord Hokage. Apologies for the intrusion."

Himawari would never be able to get over how absolutely melodic his voice was.

She nodded in agreement. "Yeah, we understand you're probably really busy."

Hiruzen blinked in surprise after looking up from whatever paperwork he'd been doing, confirming Himawari's suspicions. "Oh, Himawari! Itachi! Is something the matter?"

Itachi shook his head. "No, no, not at all."

Himawari felt herself turn the slightest bit pink. "We, uh, we've got something important to tell you, actually. Good news, we think."

Hiruzen raised an eyebrow, turning his head to the side ever so slightly. "...oh?"

Itachi looked to Himawari expectantly. They'd talked this out beforehand, and she'd told him that she wanted to be the one to actually say it. Unfortunately, Himawari unexpectedly choked up as she felt herself turn pink. She tried to speak, but found herself unable to. It wasn't as if she didn't trust Hiruzen. She trusted him much more than her own father with this information, but...

Itachi, sensing the issues she was having without her having to say a word, turned back to the Third Hokage. "We're expecting, Lord Third."

Hiruzen dropped his pen, eyes widening. "Oh. I, well, I, uh, I did not expect this."

Himawari squeezed Itachi's hand in gratitude. "Thank you."

Itachi kissed her forehead before turning back to the Hokage. "We want our child to be considered legitimate in the eyes of Konoha's government, but the child won't be unless we get married prior to the child's birth."

Himawari continued her lover's thought. "And we can't get married because of a bunch of a bunch of political bullshit between our clans right now, so-"

Hiruzen held up a hand. "I understand; the Hyuuga and Uchiha have never been distinctly fond of each other. How long have you two known?"

"Almost a month, but I think I've been pregnant for about a month and a half." Himawari explained.

"We've been planning this discussion with you for about three weeks." Itachi clarified.

Hiruzen rubbed his beard, looking down at his desk for a moment. "I see."

A moment passed. Himawari and Itachi looked at each other nervously. Himawari suspected it was a rare sight, to see two of the strongest of Konoha's youth so visibly unsettled and anxious, but then again, an Uchiha and Hyuuga coupling had never happened before. They were treading new ground, exploring new territory, so to speak.

Hiruzen looked back up at the two teenagers. "A child of mixed Uchiha and Hyuuga heritage could show great promise, and you two have always done your best for the village and the Land of Fire on a whole. I trust you both to raise a child well and I will support your efforts as parents, and while I do not believe I will be able to convince the leaders of your respective clans to permit a marriage, I will make every effort to. Would you like me to inform your clans for you or would you like me to summon them here so that we may discuss it with them?"

Itachi and Himawari looked at each other, then back at the Hokage.

Himawari answered for the two of them. "The second one, please."

Itachi simply nodded in agreement.

Himawari felt immense relief. "We'd both like to request parental leave as well."

"We do not expect _paid_ leave, of course, just time with our child." Itachi clarified.

Hiruzen nodded. "Excluding missions of the utmost importance, request granted. It will be paid as well, to accommodate for cost of living independently from your clan, should you desire to. Additionally, Himawari, you're not to leave the village until you've recovered from your pregnancy. Is that clear?"

Himawari nodded back. "Yes, Lord Hokage."

Itachi smiled widely, the lines etched into his face deepening. "Thank you, Sandaime."

Hiruzen returned the smile, stood up from his desk, walked over to the young couple, and placed his hands on their shoulders. "This is an important matter, and I imagine news of this will spread quickly not just throughout the village, but to other villages as well. I imagine villages we're on rocky diplomatic terms with may see this as the beginning of our attempt to recover from the Nine-Tails' attack on our village, and may seek to create problems for the two of you as a result."

Himawari hadn't thought of that. Had their conceiving a child painted a massive target on her back?

Hiruzen looked at Itachi, expression relatively neutral. "Itachi, in the same way Kakashi Hatake was assigned to Kushina Uzumaki to ensure her protection during her pregnancy, you will be assigned to Himawari. I imagine you are comfortable with this duty?"

Itachi nodded, still grinning. "Of course, Lord Hokage. Nothing would make me happier."

Hiruzen nodded, turning back to Himawari. "Other shinobi and kunoichi will be positioned around your general location at all times, you understand."

Himawari cocked her head to the side. "Really? Anything after me and Itachi seems a bit much."

Itachi's head turned in the direction of his lover. "Himawari, while it is unlikely that a potential assailant will be able to get past myself, or you, for that matter, stress can be harmful to a fetus' development, which is why-"

Hiruzen chuckled, cutting Itachi off as he patted the young Uchiha's shoulder. "-which is why we'd rather have a member of the ANBU, like Kakashi Hatake, eliminate the threat before either of you even become aware of said threat."

Itachi nodded, remaining silent.

Himawari frowned. She couldn't exactly argue with that. She and Itachi had both read extensively on pregnancies in their off time for the past three weeks, and she remembered that tidbit of information as one of the reasons they'd both thought to request parental leave. Didn't leave a good taste in her mouth that she'd be confined to the village for so long, though, even though she did have her favorite person in the world by her side.

The Hokage's smile widened ever so slightly as he patted their shoulders once more, chuckling again. "Well, young ones, shall we contact your families?"

Himawari and Itachi nodded simultaneously. Himawari's anxiety became excitement. Her family and the Uchiha would be informed while she and Itachi had the protection and blessing of the Hokage.

She couldn't have felt happier.

* * *

 **~Present Day~  
** Himawari Hyuuga dragged herself from her memories as she began to conclude her speech, wiping tears and raindrops from her face as she scanned the crowd gathered to attend Hiruzen Sarutobi's funeral. It consisted primarily of Genin, Chuunin, some Jounin, assorted members of the Sarutobi Clan, and numerous other civilians that had known the Hokage. Her son was in the crowd as well, with Naruto to his left and Sasuke to his right (the only two people in that section of the crowd that weren't Main House Hyuuga). Both were trying to keep him awake through all the pain medicine and chakra pills he'd been prescribed. She'd probably have to carry him most of the way home.

She tightened her grip on the podium she was positioned behind. "Of course, you all know how that relationship with Itachi turned out, but that's not the point of this speech. Hiruzen was the kind of man that fought like hell to get my baby boy the same rights as nearly every other child born in Konoha only a month or so after he'd started developing, and he did it not just for the sake of two lovestruck teenagers that both happened to be extremely useful during the last war, but for the entire village. He advocated for Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha, two young orphans that just recently helped to save all of us, in a similar way, and he took care of both of them before I took them in myself. Someone willing to put his life on the line for his citizens, someone willing to fairly use his immense power to the benefit of those without that power, that's a true leader. That's a true Hokage."

Off in the distance, a man stood on the village wall, watching Hiruzen Sarutobi's funeral processions continue. He was a tall man, standing at around six feet. His long hair was pitch black, the color of a crow's feathers, and tied back into a loose ponytail that reached the spot in-between his shoulder-blades. He was of slim-ish but muscular build, and he stood absolutely still as intense winds whipped around his hair and long, black, high-collared coat printed with red clouds.

He watched the woman he loved in his youth (and, in truth, still did love) complete her speech to the audience and join their son in the crowd as the funeral itself wrapped up. The mother of his child and legal guardian of his little brother left the podium and was quickly replaced by the late Sandaime Hokage's daughter and mother of Konohamaru and twin sister of Asuma: Amaya Sarutobi. The village elders called for audience members to each place a single bloom some kind of white flower atop Hiruzen's coffin.

He inhaled slowly, then exhaled. He wanted to cry as he saw his son and then his little brother, his own flesh and blood, present flowers and then walk away with a woman he could never be with again. He was also remarkably sad about Hiruzen's passing, but no tears came. They hadn't in nearly ten years, and he suspected they would remain stagnant for the rest of his days.

The man felt a hand on his shoulder. "Doin' okay there, Itachi?"

Itachi Uchiha didn't look at his partner, remaining focused on his son, brother, and former lover. "Do you remember what your parents were like, Kisame?" He asked his partner, the blue-skinned swordsman.

Kisame Hoshigaki chuckled darkly. "Heh, nah. Coupla wacko sciency types from Kiri. Prob'ly better that I don't remember 'em that well. Why d'ya ask?"

Itachi remained still. "In their own twisted way, Kisame, they probably did love you."

Kisame shrugged. "If ya call testin' out all yer weird gene-splicin' tech on yer own kid and makin' a superpowered shark monster outta him 'loving,' then yeah, I guess."

Itachi blinked, expression and tone betraying none of the abject misery he felt. "Kisame, I sacrificed my entire clan and my right to be with my immediate family for the sake of said immediate family."

"Neato." Kisame deadpanned, idly scratching his chin.

"To answer your question, Kisame, while I do not mourn for my former superior, I do occasionally mourn for the family I could have had." Itachi said over the rain, telling a half-truth.

Kisame raised an eyebrow. "This gonna create problems for us when we stop doin' recon in a little while?"

Itachi blinked again, head tilting in the general direction of Hokage Rock. "None. The Eternal Mangekyo and the Nine-Tailed Fox are more important."

* * *

 **~Three Weeks Later~  
** Kakashi Hatake stared at Itachi Uchiha.

Itachi stared back.

Kakashi kept his kunai at Itachi's throat as he examined the father of Eiji Hyuuga. He had gotten significantly taller since his departure from the village, at least a few inches taller than Kakashi; nearly six feet. His hair had grown out several inches, his face had matured slightly, but his expression remained the same as Kakashi remembered it from when they were paired up on missions together: emotionally deadened from the countless lives this man had taken. Kakashi wasn't one to talk on this matter, but Kakashi had always found it more than a little disturbing that Itachi had never seemed to have an issue with killing people. Even his first time had seemed easy for him.

Kakashi imagined that the nine years he'd spent as a rogue ninja had only sharpened his skills and deadened his emotions further. This was not something Kakashi wished to dwell on.

With Obito's Sharingan, Kakashi could see Itachi's chakra, and if fear hadn't been beaten out of him during his time as a juvenile Jounin, he would have felt it then. Kakashi was also very glad that Itachi lacked the ability the ability to use the Gentle Fist. Otherwise, enough of Itachi's blazing vermillion chakra applied directly to the correct sequence of tenketsu would probably be enough to vaporize most of his internal organs.

Kakashi hadn't been paying much attention to the conversation Kisame had been having with his shadow clone, so he, Asuma, and Kurenai were all visibly surprised when Itachi turned his head in his partner's direction. "Kisame, enough. If you engage this man, it will not be without cost. Additionally, it will take time we do not have, and draw unnecessary attention to us. That is inefficient and, quite frankly, moronic. We mustn't lose sight of our goal."

"Well then, let's hear it. What is your goal? Plan to give the little boy you abandoned a belated birthday present?" Kakashi prodded. Kakashi hoped to get a rise out of him enough to draw the attention of other shinobi in the village, but they were nearly at the village outskirts, quite close to the forest. It would take a lot of noise to get someone important over here.

Itachi's eyebrow twitched, but he otherwise did not respond. "We are searching for something. We are certain it is located in Konohagakure."

Kakashi cocked his head to the side slightly, raising his eyebrow just the slightest bit. "Wouldn't happen to be your son, would it? If so, you're about a decade too late. Growing up during those formative years without a father is difficult, not like you would really kn-"

Kakashi knew he had discovered Itachi's emotional weak point when he felt Itachi's heel hit his jaw with incredible force. Kakashi felt immense amounts of pain, just a warning from Itachi, for a moment before the former's substitution jutsu activated. Kakashi reappeared under the water, calculating his next move. His Sharingan told him that the Itachi that had just kicked him was apparently a shadow clone, and it was one that Itachi planned to detonate in the next few seconds. Rapidly coming to a conclusion, Kakashi sprang from the water and got Kurenai out of the range of the clone's explosion. Kurenai shouted something when they regained their footing, and Asuma joined them in standing on the river seconds after.

Itachi merely stood there, staring at them. "For someone who is not of the Uchiha, you have truly mastered the Sharingan. However, not being one of us, you lack our physical strength and unique chakra signature. You can copy neither of those things."

Dammit, Itachi was right. Kakashi tightened his grip on his kunai, clenching his teeth. "Careful, this guy was promoted to head of the ANBU when he was just thirteen."

Asuma grimaced. "We get it, he's tough."

Kakashi chuckled darkly. "Tough? You haven't seen a fraction of what he can do."

Itachi blinked slowly. "Why is it do you think that the Uchiha were known by all and feared by all?"

Kakashi's eyes widened. He couldn't mean...

"I'll show you three what a _true_ heir of the Uchiha bloodline can do."

Kakashi's eyes widened in actual, legitimate fear for the first time in a very long while. "CLOSE YOUR EYES! DON'T LOOK AT HIS EYES!"

Asuma and Kurenai did as he commanded, closing their eyes.

Unfortunately, it was already too late for Kakashi. He stiffened up as the world turned into naught but sanguine reds and blacks, and suddenly he found himself nailed to a cross, roughly ten feet off the ground.

Itachi stood in front of him, holding a wakizashi. It was the same one that Kakashi had seen Eiji carrying around lately.

Itachi then almost casually drove the blade into Kakashi's abdomen, twisting it around. Kakashi clenched his teeth and pulled back his tongue, which would have been bitten off otherwise. The pain was enormous. Indescribable. Kakashi had been trained to resist torture and he'd been stabbed, cut,and generally injured with bladed weapons so many times he'd lost count, but this was different. It was greater than every blade-induced wound he'd ever suffered through, all rolled into one experience.

Kakashi blacked out from the pain, and when he awoke, he saw that the wound was gone.

Was this only a genjutsu? It felt so incredibly real, and his Sharingan was doing nothing to reduce its effects. This had never happened before.

Kakashi was dragged from his thoughts by the fact that there was now a second Itachi, standing to the first one's right.

The two of them spoke in unison. "Within the Tsukuyomi, time and space, physical mass, everything is under my complete control."

Then, they both stabbed Kakashi, doubling the pain he'd felt an unknowable amount of time ago. "The next seventy-two hours will be nothing but this. Over, and over, and over."

Kakashi blacked out again, and when he woke up, he saw himself being stabbed and lectured by Itachi about the nature of the genjutsu he was in. Kakashi felt every stab twice, and began repeating _it's only genjutsu, it's only genjutsu_ , over and over in his mind.

Another Itachi appeared in front of him, stabbing him once more. "Telling yourself that this is an illusion will do you little good. Call it what you will, it is still pain. Do you feel it any less deeply simply because you are denying it?"

Could Itachi read his mind? What was happening?

Was this another power of Itachi's Tsukuyomi?

Another Itachi appeared out of nowhere and stabbed him again. "How long will it be, I wonder, before your spirit is broken, your soul destroyed? The only one to last all seventy-two hours was Himawari, but I sincerely doubt you have her spirit. No one does."

In spite of the ungodly agony that made it seem like time had slowed to a crawl, Kakashi locked eyes with the nearest Itachi. "You may wonder how long I'll last, but I find myself wondering what Eiji or Shisui would think of you now." Kakashi growled out through gritted teeth.

Then, Kakashi blacked out for just a moment before reawakening to an endless crowd, comprised of nothing but himself on a cross being stared at by seemingly endless copies of Itachi.

The one in front of him smiled ever so slightly. "Only seventy-one hours, fifty-nine minutes, and fifty-nine seconds to go."

Every Itachi closed in on their associated Kakashi.

Shortly after, Kakashi lost control of himself.

The screaming began, with only seventy-one hours, fifty-nine minutes, and fifty-eight seconds left on the clock.

After what felt like an eternity, the world returned to its normal colors, and Kakashi was suddenly standing next to Kurenai and Asuma. He panted heavily before falling to his knees. How long had that been? Kurenai and Asuma certainly couldn't have been standing there for three days

Kakashi heard Kurenai's voice. "Kakashi! Are you alright?! Can we open our eyes?"

"No, not yet." Kakashi coughed out, still struggling to remain conscious.

"What the hell happened? One second, the guy's talking, and the next second, you hit the ground!" Asuma growled, obviously confused.

Itachi simply stared at Kakashi, expression completely flat.

Three days. Kakashi had spent three entire days in that nightmare while only a few seconds had passed in the real world. Death would have been preferable.

Kisame appeared in a flash next to Itachi. "After all that, the prick's spirit is still in one piece? Seems like you went easy on him, Itachi. Stop usin' those eyes unless you need to. Shit's risky."

Itachi merely blinked again, saying nothing. Kakashi noticed that he was squinting in a way that implied immense photosensitivity, like when Eiji was suffering from a migraine.

Kakashi struggled to one knee, looking at the eldest surviving Uchiha with eyes that felt like they were about to shut on their own. "This thing you've come for, is it Eiji, or Sasuke? Or both?"

"No. The legacy of the Fourth Hokage."

Naruto, or the Nine-Tailed Fox? Likely the latter, but the difference was a matter of semantics unless Itachi or Kisame was a fuinjutsu expert. Regardless, that must mean that these two were members of the Akatsuki, the organization of rogue ninja that Jiraiya had warned Kakashi about and that Orochimaru had once been a member of. Kakashi made note of the coats both men were clothed in and the similarities between their rings. Both were likely part of some kind of uniform the Akatsuki had.  
Kakashi glared at Itachi and Kisame. "You and the seven other rogue ninja you two work with are after the Nine-Tailed Fox, aren't you? The Akatsuki, am I right?"

Itachi absently brushed some jet black hair from his face. "Kisame, we'll take Kakashi with us, but the other two are irrelevant. Eliminate them."

Kisame charged towards the three of them with a manic grin on his face, _Samehada_ in hand. Kakashi prepared for the worst when he noticed something.

He smelled vanilla, and now that he thought about it, that smell had been getting stronger and stronger for the past few seconds.

If Kakashi knew anything from prior experiences like this, that could only mean one thing.

"Duck!" Kakashi shouted back at Asuma and Kurenai.

Both obliged, confused expressions on their faces, just as a tall, hourglass-shaped woman wearing deep blue combat gear appeared out of seemingly nowhere, furious expression on her face, and blasted Kisame high into the sky with a lavender-colored Rasengan to the stomach. Kakashi's gaze followed a perplexed Kisame up into the air, just in time to see a man with a bowl cut in a green jumpsuit meet him there and kick him back down into the river, sending enough water skyward to visibly lower the river's water level.

It was Himawari Hyuuga and Might Guy: the two strongest taijutsu specialists in the village.

Kakashi smiled beneath his mask, knowing that now the fight was at least somewhat even, and then promptly passed out.

* * *

Itachi Uchiha watched Himawari use her Byakugan to look back at at Asuma, Kurenai, the now-unconscious Kakashi, and the man that had come with her here and just caught Kakashi: Guy.

Himawari had hit Jounin before Guy did and had more S-Ranks under her belt, and given that Kakashi was currently unconscious, she had seniority in this situation. "Kurenai, take Kakashi and get Kakashi to the Medical Corps, and then I want you to stay with my son in the hospital and ensure this traitor doesn't get anywhere near him. Guy, Asuma, you two take on Kisame. I'm the only one that can take Itachi head-on without risk of getting trapped in his genjutsu."

She was right, though. With a Byakugan of her purity and intensity, she could just shrug off his Tsukuyomi by keeping her eyes closed and looking through her eyelids.

Guy wordlessly passed Kakashi over to Kurenai, who scooped him up and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Asuma looked as if he was about to argue with her.  
Himawari shook her head, motioning in a way that very clearly told him to _please shut the hell up_. "Asuma, I swear I will throw enough money at the village elders to have you working D-Ranks for a month if you argue with me."

That did, in fact, successfully shut him up.

In the background, Kisame stood up shakily out of the water, shouting obscenities and threats of smothering Himawari with her own breasts in their direction.

Himawari motioned towards Kisame with her head, nodding in his direction. "That's your queue, guys."

Guy looked at Asuma seriously and motioned wordlessly towards Kisame. Asuma nodded somewhat reluctantly, both shinobi about to run off to engage the blue-skinned swordsman before Itachi held up a hand. "I see now that a fight is inevitable. Let's move this into the forest, where collateral damage won't be a risk. Civilians do not deserve to be dragged into our conflict."

Itachi was not remotely concerned about Kisame's ability to handle Guy and Asuma, but he knew Himawari would more than likely be able to defeat him, especially in this enraged state she was in.

Apparently, just hearing his voice was enough to set her off. Himawari closed the distance between the two of them in less than a second delivered a series of strikes to Itachi's ribcage, grabbed him by the shoulders, and threw him with all her strength into the forest, knocking down several trees. Itachi dulled the pain and shielded himself from most harm with chakra (which had become a largely automatic process at this point), but when he impacted a large boulder deep in the forest and the back of his head cracked against it, his vision blurred and the air left his lungs. Itachi blinked and his vision cleared just in time to see Himawari flying at him, roaring and shrouded in lavender chakra.

Oh, this wasn't going to be fun.

Itachi dodged her first strike, a punch that cracked the entire boulder. His eyes widened slightly. She had been strong when he left, but this was-  
Itachi's thoughts were expelled from his mind, along with the air from his lungs for a second time, when Himawari kneed him in the stomach and delivered a powerful palm strike to his sternum, pushing him back up against the boulder.

There was just enough of a delay between that string of attacks for Itachi to regain his focus on her and see the chakra she was emitting, but not enough of one to do anything about her next move.

She propelled herself forward further into Itachi by expelling an incredibly amount of chakra from her back and sent him flying through the boulder with a vacuum palm. Itachi reflexively transformed into a murder of crows and reformed behind her, right in the Byakugan's blind spot.

Evidently, she'd grown faster, too. The Byakugan didn't have the same kind of predictive abilities that the Sharingan did that would enable her to use the _shunshin_ in the way that Itachi or Shisui could, but it came about as close as someone without the Sharingan could.

In hindsight, he saw now that his protecting her from Deidara's mercenaries, no matter how cathartic, was more than likely entirely unnecessary.

Itachi's Sharingan told him that she was tensing up to perform a palm rotation, so he flipped twenty feet to the right. He had dodged out of the initial range, but unfortunately for Itachi, the Sharingan can only see chakra, not chakra flow, so there was no way he could have predicted that her palm rotation would suddenly double in size from possessing a fifteen-foot radius to a thirty-foot one. Itachi summoned the ribcage of his Susano'o to avoid getting shredded to pieces, but he was still blown high up into the air. Before he could react, she was on him again. She roared and drove a flaming lavender Rasengan into his Susano'o's ribcage, sending him flying back down towards the ground. With no other alternatives at the moment, Itachi summoned his Susano'o's arms to break his fall and maneuver gracefully out of the trajectory of his former lover, who landed in the spot he would have been in with a loud _boom_.

He dissipated his Susano'o and rose to his feet. His normal Sharingan were not enough for this. He activated his Mangekyo, further increasing both his ocular abilities and the intensity of his migraine. This time, he could actually see Himawari sprinting at him, and decided to utilize Shisui's creative use of the _shunshin_ to match her taijutsu prowess. He didn't consider this particularly _fair_ anymore, but in the face of an angry Himawari Hyuuga, one couldn't afford to consider fairness. The irony of this situation was, of course, that this was likely the same thought process she was using. Upon activation of Shisui's variant of the jutsu, Itachi became a black and red blur and reappeared behind her. He then produced three shadow clones in front of her and had them all attack in sequence. She attacked two and dissipated them, but the third got to her before she could react, performing a titanic fireball jutsu in her direction. She successfully blocked it with a shield of chakra, but she was blown back into the real Itachi, who had channeled his chakra into eight senbon he'd removed from pouches in his coat's sleeves. In less than a second, he placed them in all of her eight primary tenketsu, piercing her skin, musculature, bone, and entering her nerves, eliciting grunts of pain that weighed heavy on his heart.

She fell to her knees, presumably from exhaustion, as her aura of lavender chakra disappeared and her Byakugan deactivated. Forcefully applying chakra to her eight gates like that would have her effectively disabled for the next few minutes while she was working the foreign chakra out of her system, even though she'd ripped all the senbon out in seconds. Even though her Byakugan were deactivated, he couldn't bring himself to consider Tsukuyomi as an option.

Itachi slowly and deliberately walked around Himawari to face her.

He made eye contact with her, and she glared at him, murder in her eyes as she bared her teeth. "I will give you a single chance to take your partner, leave, and never come back. If the way my chakra is moving is any indication of the time you have left to make a decision, you have about three minutes left."

Itachi stood up and shook the dirt and grime from his coat with a single swift motion, forcing himself to make eye contact with Himawari. "We seek the legacy of the Fourth Hokage, you know perfectly well we cannot leave without him."

Himawari curled her hands back into fists, cracking her knuckles as she shakily rose to her feet. "Yeah? I know that you always had a below-average supply of chakra, and that I'd be able to outlast you in a straight fight a few times over with mine."

Itachi didn't respond to that. She was right. He had a very intense and potent chakra signature and extremely tight and precise control of it, but he couldn't store much of it by comparison to her; Hyuuga in general, really.

"Then I'm gonna kick your ass until you tell me why it was you _really_ killed off your whole clan." She threatened.

Itachi then decided it was a good idea to weigh and measure his options.

Itachi couldn't take this woman in straight hand-to-hand combat. As skilled a martial artist as he was, she was as skilled with taijutsu as he was with genjutsu, and that was without any enhancements with chakra. And because he didn't want to kill or significantly injure her (both for personal reasons and professional ones), he couldn't really do anything to her until her chakra began flowing properly again.  
Once that happened, she could close her eyes and still see in a near-perfect circle around herself, rendering nearly all of his genjutsu, his specialty, useless. She would be able to predict what jutsu he was going to use based on the activity of his chakra. She would also be able to use the Gentle Fist again, which could even potentially render his Susano'o useless.

In short, because he was unwilling to kill her or use Tsukuyomi on her now, she would win. He needed to last longer than the next four or five minutes for the sake of his son, his brother, and the woman he cared for.  
Itachi knew this woman well, probably better than anyone else, and he knew that she never fought harder than when she believed someone she loved was in danger. Right now, she believed that her son and the two boys she'd adopted were under attack by two of the most dangerous Rogue Ninja to ever be listed in the Bingo Book that were actively affiliated with _the other seven of them_.

While all of that was assuming she had gotten better at thinking before acting when her loved ones were in danger (and it was quite likely that she hadn't), and as helpful it would be to have Himawari disabled for at least what would be happening in the coming week, it was still a risk Itachi wasn't willing to take at present.

Itachi looked at the ground, then in over in the direction he could hear Kisame roaring from. "Kisame! We're pulling out."

Seconds later, Kisame appeared next to Itachi with a few more cuts on his coat sleeves and face. "Dammit, I was just gettin' started, too."

Kisame quickly shifted his gaze from Itachi over to Himawari, smirking and displaying his shark teeth as his eyes wandered down to her chest. "Oh hey, sugartits. How goes it?"

Himawari raised an eyebrow as her eyes narrowed and her expression wrinkled in disgust.

Itachi sighed tiredly, nodding at Kisame as they both performed the _shunshin_. The world blurred as he and Kisame reappeared back in their hotel room in Shukuba Town.

Kisame folded his arms, expression conveying a healthy amount of skepticism. "So, all of that crap was just a ruse to make 'em think we'd be goin' back there?"

Itachi nodded. "It was also to analyze what kind of protection Naruto would have if recalled to Konohagakure. If we need only remove Jiraiya from the equation to gain access to Naruto, then I foresee minimal issues."

Kisame grinned again. "Great. Also, ya mind explainin' to me exactly why ya didn't just knock that top-heavy chick out with yer eyes? It looks like ya took a _lot_ of hits."

Itachi glanced over at their room's mirror, and his eyes widened. Much of the pain had been dulled, but apparently Himawari was now physically strong enough to simply punch _through_ his chakra barrier. His face was covered in cuts and bruises, and he didn't even want to think about what his torso looked like. Instead, he simply chose to mould most of the chakra flowing through his face and torso into medical chakra and applied it to the damaged areas, healing the damage done.

Following that, Itachi deactivated his Sharingan and hung up his coat while Kisame placed _Samehada_ on the ground next to his bed. "I'm thinkin' the chick with the bowlin' balls on her chest is gonna be more of a problem 'n either of the two I was dealin' with. Konan told me a while back that she was really dangerous."

That got Itachi's attention. "Did she tell you anything else?"

Kisame removed his coat and undershirt, dropped them on the floor, and casually flopped down into bed, placing his hands behind his head. "That we should try recruitin' her to get info about that blonde brat outta her, but I don't think that's gonna happen."

Itachi reduced his Sharingan back down to their normal, three-tomoe state as he removed the ponytail band from his hair. "Both unlikely and unnecessary. We're staying in this hotel specifically because Jiraiya has stayed here before when he's gone out whoring, and all of the crows I have stationed in and around Konohagakure are informing me that he's planning to stay here again soon, but he's bringing Naruto Uzumaki with him."

Kisame shrugged as much as he was able to from his current position. "Well, that's also what the receptionist said when ya hypnotized him and asked about reservations for the next couple days, but this is Jiraiya we're talkin' about."

Itachi exhaled tiredly, rolling his right shoulder as he walked towards his bedside table. He turned on the bedside lamp and sat down on the bed, locking eyes with Kisame. "I am acutely aware of Jiraiya's characteristic inconsistency, but he has a personal investment in Naruto as the boy's godfather. As moronic as he makes himself out to be, he's a highly intelligent man. Much like yourself."

Kisame let out a noise that sounded somewhere in-between a grunt and a chuckle before shrugging again. "Y'know, Itachi, with you havin' such a close relationship with the boss lady, I didn't think you'd leave Tits McGee alive."

"Killing her would cause more problems than it would solve, Kisame." Itachi exhaled, resting his head on his bed's pillow and closing his eyes as he tried to ignore Kisame's comment about Himawari's physique.

Kisame shrugged. "It would definitely make the boss lady happy, though. When was the last time you got laid?"

Itachi kept his eyes closed, ignoring Kisame's inappropriate question. "Perhaps, but Himawari's report will more than likely influence Konohagakure to centralize their remaining and recovering forces."

"Ya didn't answer my question, Itachi."

"Because it is not particularly relevant to our current situation."

Itachi could practically hear the suggestive grin in Kisame's voice. "I mean, we _are_ in Shukuba Town. There's a 'massage parlor' every few feet in this sleazy cesspool."

"You're welcome to go out whoring, Kisame. I get no enjoyment out of meaningless couplings."

Kisame laughed. "Ha! An answer like that tells me it's been at least a few years."

Itachi ignored his partner once more. "My plan is as follows: Assuming Jiraiya and Naruto are stopping here for one night only on their way to some other destination, it's more than likely that Jiraiya will get distracted by one of Shukuba's streetwalkers or brothels. Once that happens, we can ambush Naruto and extract the Nine-Tails from him."

Kisame yawned. "Alright, Itachi. I'm gonna go out, grab some food, and prob'ly fuck someone. Want me to bring ya anything back?"

"No thank you. Just be back before midnight." Itachi yawned back, removing his headband and settling into what was more than likely going to be a terrible, nightmare-ridden sleep.

* * *

 **A/N:** Less dialogue than I'd planned for, but honestly, I'm happy with how this turned out.


End file.
